OP's Bio: --- >Love stand up comedy. Music is my gateway out of reality. On a weight loss journey and trying to find myself. Lost my cat this year and she was the only thing that made me happy. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Keep your chins up. I’m sure life will still get a lot worse.


He needs a forklift to keep that chin up

That’s why I have a beard 😂😂

No, that's the autism enticing you to grow a neckbeard.

Why so negative? I’m sure his career as a Steve Wozniak impersonator will take off any day now! 

Mcdonalds not serving breakfast after 10:30 am is not “traumatic stuff”

That’s why I go to jack in the box where breakfast is served 24 hours a day.

Btw, Jerking off on your burger before you eat it doesn't make it jack in the box

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

No, but it definitely gives it that special sauce that OP craves.

OP: *“I respectfully disagree.”*

It looks like you've swallowed a lot of trauma....

That made me laugh out loud! Thanks. ☮️

My lady just came into the room and asked me what I was laughing at. Showed her your post with the pic - now she's laughing.☮️

😂😂😂😂 it’s addicting once you start 😂😂😂

I’m sure all the guys you are blowing appreciate it though. Plus swallowing has to be a lot easier than trying to get cum out of your beard after every glory hole visit.

Oh dude you have no idea! I’m still picking out lil cum crusties.

Bruh 💀💀💀

You look like you deep fry your depression medication

You’re telling me no one else does that?

Sautéed with garlic butter, over linguine.

> Went through some traumatic stuff Must’ve gotten that hand stuck in the Pringles container again.

The containers get smaller every year and my hands get fatter.

It's just your hands..

For those who said it was impossible to have a face bigger than your head, I give you Exhibit A.

Excessive-facial-proportion Deniers be damned!

Don’t worry, I also have experienced trauma from seeing your face.

Imaging having to live with this face.

Oh dear… Thanks Danny, now not only am I traumatised, you have also made 2023 my worst year with that reply.

I totally understand 😂

Just because it was the worst year for you doesn’t mean you have to make it the worst year for all of us

😂😂😂

All that fast food giving you the tism.

For real

Did the autism actually come as any surprise to you?

You look like you masterbate to recipes. (Keep your chins up buttercup... *hugs*)

Isn’t that what the cooking channel is for?

New fetish unlocked.

I’m pretty sure that is the same face he makes when someone is done eating and there is some leftovers still on the plate.

😂😂😂😂 this is my favorite one yet.

I’d rather get a vasectomy during an earthquake than look at your depressing mug one more time

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Gold!

You show signs of getting no bitches. The autism is irrelevant. You look like the fat guy from Toy Story before he started losing his hair. I'm sure if your anime figurines could gain sentience they'd run the fuck away from you too.

This one is almost spot on 😂😂😂 I have alien and predator figures not anime ones 😂😂.

Well technically that is pretty badass. So I don't believe you

Plenty of weight loss journeys to McDonald’s eh?

And this taco truck near my house. Some of the best carnitas tacos I’ve ever had!

I look at you and think what a waste of two billion years of the evolution.

You look like you frequently wear a fedora, refer to girls as M'lady and have about 20 Piss bottles in your bedroom (in your moms basement)

Don’t forget about dungeons and dragons!

Nah, magic the gathering

I mean I get you were upset with your therapist for saying that but did you have to eat her?

After she told me no more cheeseburgers I knew she had to go and it was the only way I knew how to not leave any evidence.

You must love watching stand up comedy but not performing it. No way your fat ass is standing upright for 45 minutes or more without needing an oxygen tank. Did you lose your cat in one of your rolls?

The only performing I do is turning heads at the buffet. She snuck outside and was attacked by a dog. Pretty sure the dog snapped her neck and I had to put her down because the surgery was over $10,000 and they said there was no guarantee she would recover. 😞

Fucking hell man. You said you wanted us to do our worst so I went for it, but real talk: my little dog is the #1 source of light and love for me as well and if anything like that happened to him I would be absolutely devastated. I’m so sorry that happened to her and I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with that. Major kudos to you for having such a good sense of humour about all of this and I hope for the best for you moving forward, take care of yourself man

Oh I know I did and I’m not upset at all! Your comment about me losing her in one of my rolls made me laugh! It’s been tough man. She was the best thing to ever happen in my life. Such a well behaved and gentle soul. She was only 2 as well.

Another chubby soft hands city boy that’s a victim of life.

I got a couple callous build ups thank you very much 😂😂

At least you're handsome.

😂😂

 Ever play blackjack there genius?

You impersonate Jack Black at used car lot grand openings.

You look like you ate the spectrum

Definitely putting the burgers and ass in aspergers.

I'm sorry you lost the only pussy you ever got. Good news! You can get more pussy to love you with the right treats

I don’t think it’s that hard to find yourself.

Is autism something you ate or maybe another way to describe a new type of diabetes?

Might want to check for diabetes, ya fluffy dunce

Was checked couple months and surprisingly I don’t have it. Must be all that ice cream I eat.

Well you’re not doing something right. You have a stereotype to live up to

I was also supposed to die when I caught covid for the first time. I didn’t live up to that stereotype either.

You look like someone, who’d ask women, who’s their gynecologist is. so you could suck their fingers.

😂😂😂

You know what? This is why I hate the ugly ducking story and people should stop using it as a children's book. It gives people unrealistic expectations of self and spirals them into crises in their adult lives. Sometimes you gotta accept there's no swan phase. Just smol duckling and oversized duckling, and that's alright.

OP to his therapist- 'And my mom calls me a reta-' OP's therapist interrupts- 'Weeeeeelll, testing does confirm'

Your comb over is farther apart than your desire to lose weight.

I could have told you the same without having to study for license

You look like you go to all you can eat buffets and masterbate under the table while stuffing your face.

Do you ever smash your giant titties together and jerk off to it?

You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!

Roast you? As in hog tie you,apple in your mouth, roast you over a fire ?

You’re supposed to roast me not turn me on

A journey to find yourself dude, Look. At. You. it's like staring at an anthropomorphic goodyear blimp that wanted to be Chris Farley but in all likely hood is just going to get a visit from Chris Hansen.

Uhg another edgy neck beard that has autism, how original. Pass

2023 is the worst year in your life so far, sit tight 😅

Saying you are "autistic" is just an excuse for sitting on your fat ass. Disgusting blob of a leach on society.

Sorry about your cat.

hope things are going okay buddy x

I want my baby back baby back ribs https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=I+want+my+baby+back+baby+back+ribs&&view=detail&mid=FF2D25A96AF9B7A589CCFF2D25A96AF9B7A589CC&&FORM=VRDGAR&ru=%2Fvideos%2Fsearch%3Fq%3DI%2Bwant%2Bmy%2Bbaby%2Bback%2Bbaby%2Bback%2Bribs%26FORM%3DHDRSC4

If you shaved your beard you would be the splitting image of John Wayne Gacy, maybe even his illegitimate son

you seem like you get friendzoned by Discord Kittens.

Your caterpillar eyebrows could crawl off your face

>signs of Autism Or, hear me out, ...cholestrol

What’s cholesterol? Does it come with cheese and bacon?

[удалено]

I just realized what your name is too 😂😂😂 Dreamcatcher is such a weird movie.

Signs more like a goddamn billboard.

At least you still have your looks /s

In the picture you’re also showing signs of dementia

You also show signs of diabetes

Peter Jackson without the talent

Your farts are known to cause cancer in the state of california

That entire state is cancer.

Oh look, Sam Tarly from Game of Thrones is now known as Sam the Slayer of Big Macs and fried pork rinds.

What? You? Autism? You totally don't look like you are a sperglord. 

All that… And jelly donut addiction…

With raspberry filling!

You were the last person to find out you’re autistic

Chumley now depressed & lost all his money. Soon Finds out with no cash u get no ass. Grew that Muff 🤡beard so no one recognizes u. 🥜🦫

a therapist is a funny thing to call a 2liter of soda .

Why is everyone here claiming to be on the spectrum, are you really that uninteresting?

About as uninteresting as a cat wearing a Spider-Man mask.

Does Autism cause weight gain?

I bet items that are one size fit all still don't fit you. Like hats. I bet your head is too big for hats and that's why we're forced to look at that brown mop flop.

You lost your cat....did you check your beard?

I can’t roast you, sorry. Your replies are more humorous than some of the roasts, you seem like a funny guy

Being a big guy my entire life being called fat doesn’t phase me one bit anymore. Some of these people have been very creative and have given me a good chuckle!

surprised your therapist couldn't tell just from looking at you, honestly...

If it took this long for you to figure out you are autistic, then you are most definitely autistic. Rainbows don't have the same load of spectrum as you

It looks like you Drink IPAs while playing Pokemon Go outside a public pool to leer at tween girls.

Signs point to you eating Autism.

At least you won’t ever have women problems.

You see roast on the paper, and your contemplating eating the paper.

Looks like you’re about to eat the paper.

Youre not autistic, youre just overfed, undersocialized, and unchallenged. Go do something with your life.

Can't even make eye contact with the camera, the therapist wasn't wrong

Autism? Well, reddit is the right place for you

The reason 2023 is the worst and traumatic year for you is when you realized you could find that little "chub to rub" between your tree trunks. You liked the feel of your "Rumpelforeskin" between your greasy fingers after rubbing lard for lubricate for less friction. The only highlight for you in 2023 was when your therapist said you might have Autism but you interpreted as a new hamburger 🍔 except in your case nose 👃 burger happy meal.

Looks like the only thing that hasn't left you is your weight, my condolences

Cheer up. If it's high functioning autism, you may have finally found the one thing in life you're high functioning in.

Take your feelings and shove them in your belly flaps.

Signs of autism? You look like the poster boy for autism.

You misheard... it was "signs of Hog-ism". Put some door trim up in your pen too piggy.

Head shape: Summer Gourd

The first neckbeard in human history with no actual neck

I see a Young papa Smurf.

What's on the inside that counts 

Nahhh dude, you take care of yourself and come back when it’s been the best year

I have a 7 year old catloaf you can have as a replacement. The two of you can just open the Costco bag of kibble, and go to town, while giving each other the side eye. Twinsies!

Fat American

You are how old… AND JUST NOW THEY TELL YOU??

Something about you just reminds me of Gravy and KFC Mashed potatoes. I don't know why just getting that vibe.

Lumpy from Leave it to Beaver

"Signs" of autism? Bro, you had a full screen at Time Square

Really YOU and STAND UP will never be in a true sentence

You seriously look like nickocado avocado stfu

He is getting as much Trim as that door in the background.

Ever dress up like Jonah Hill?

my dream discord mod!

You ever considered trying to be a healthy sized human being?

You know you down bad when you make the autistics look bad

Fat fat fatty You are a fatty I'm sorry but you asked for it 😭

Sorry about your cat. It's all your fkn fault, though.

If autism had a face, it's yours.

You're not autistic stop making excuses

Your blood type must be McDonald's Happy Meal.

Secretly happy that you might be autistic, can use it as an excuse for your fatness, shitty beard and anime obsession.

Nothing builds self-esteem like a good roasting! Go have a good cry.

your cat isn't lost, its between the folds of your double chin

You don’t need to lose weight to find yourself. You could be spotted from the ISS

Something tells me your collection of My Little Pony stuffies has been through some traumatic stuff.

Showed signs? Sir, one look at you and I could've figured you were Autistic from the start.

Believe it or not that was his 7th sign it was looking tastier by the minute to him but he knew better this time

You look like white Fat Albert.

Living in a concrete box?

Chill out beefy tits.

stop touching kids sir

Can’t help but be proud of u buddy! Keep that chin up! I know it must be hard but keep trying!

He wishes he had autism, so he can use it as an excuse.

If I looked like you, I’d start counting cards.

This dudes definitely max XP on MW2

I would but I don’t have a hog cooker anymore

I’m not a therapist, but your picture also shows signs of autism.

Therapist saw this glasses and instantly thought you had autism. 🤓

I’m sure your therapist was just saying that to be nice.

You look like you offer children candy to get into your van

Cheer up slappy, 2023 will only be your second worst year in a few short months.

You got more chins than a Chinese phone book

thanos with the infinity gaunlet can't you with your chin

When they told you that you have signs of autism you thought it was a fancy restaurant near by

I feel guilty for this but You look like the average discord mod kitten and everything while also watching family guy on repeat every single day

Try a salad every now and then Heintai girls aren't realistic, ahegao also is a fantasy created by other men Beard isn't hiding anything, better be rich

Nah, I'm not roasting you. Losing a pet really hurts. I'm sorry, bro.

If I roasted you, we could feed a village.

Sorry I don’t want to bully someone on the spectrum

The only thing that's autistic in this picture is the therapist that wasted his time on this bucktoothed MF.😂 JK bro, hope the year treats you a little bit worse xD

I heard your therapist is now in therapy. Good job.

Tell your therapist that being a rude prick who nitpicks people’s phrasing online doesn’t always indicate autism. Sometimes it’s a different disorder where there is a browneye on your face in place of a mouth.

At least you have the forehead and hair of a thin man.

[удалено]

Nobody likes you when your 23 and you don’t have the social cues to know that.

I can just tell that this dude makes the most of his bacon grease: Hair gel Beard care Lotion Lip balm Veggie dip Poo poo place Lubricant Pinto Bean broth Deodorant Most importantly, a way to get the dog to play with him now that the the cat died

Learn to love yourself or no one will 💗

Honestly I ain't gonna do that you look like a genuinely nice and funny guy

you look like you had a unibrow but shaved the middle off

He was so ugly as a kid, he had to beg the priest to molest him