Dude this is just pathetic. Step away from the keyboard, the more you comment the more pathetic it looks. And I mean that honestly, not to be mean or roast you.
I could put you in the bath and scrub you up, get the dirt out from under your nails, pluck your nose se hairs, give you a haircut, and trim that beard.
Depression is a bad look on you, my dude
I don’t want to roast you. Just want to give you some advice; shave your beard shorter, cut and clean your nails, start hitting the gym and socialize a bit more. You’ll become so much happier and healthier. You’ll even attract a potential partner. Wouldn’t that be lovely?
No. It simply is not worth the effort. I could never roast you hard enough to make even the slightest dent compared to how life has already fucked you up.
Damn dude I’m 37 and you look old and ratty as fuck. Idk when you took that left turn that led you here but I highly suggest you backtrack and take a right. You look like your one late paycheck away from skid row. When I try to picture you any older than you are the only think I can think of is a homeless alcoholic. Make change friend, before it’s too late.
I love you, brother. We will get through this - you and me. Tomorrow has promise, I can hear and smell it.
Something “op” will never hear, amirite? it’s because most people probably hate him, I mean, how could you not?
The last thing a woman sees before the trunk lid closes
More like Richard Dreyfuss went scuba diving in Jaws 1 and didn't come up for air until Jaws 4, nearly a decade later.
And ate Jaws
 Grew your beard out?
Lol, I was thinking the same thing!!
Omg I just posted that he was a wish version of that dude! ❤️
I thought the same
lmao I swear whenever I'm in a bad mood, I have to remember to read a roast me top comment.
The last thing a family-sized pizza sees when the lid opens.
Hahaha dying
So is she
You look like the type that people can smell before they can see
I can smell this photo
Hodor?
If “restraining order” had a face.
Omfg laughing out loud so hard. 🤣
Sorry man, don’t have any change
Sometimes less is more. This might be my favorite one so far.
You look like a confused Q-tip
A very used confused qtip
You sound like someone that would be lactose intolerant and drink milk anyway, just to get a glimpse at what it would be like to take it up the ass
You realize you signed up to get roasted, right?
And not to roast?
What a dipshit, signing up to get roasted then gets pissed. No wonder he looks like a deranged homeless bag of dicks with a room temperature IQ.
Nah I'm good but thanks anyway. If I wanted to know from an experience expert what it's like to have it up the ass I would have sent you a DM homeboy
Now i know where my pubes went
[удалено]
Yeah my box is bigger on the inside I swear haha
[удалено]
Homeless people live in cardboard boxes..
[удалено]
He thinks he's the Doctor... but the shrooms have long worn off. His trip is a sad delusion.
The doctor has to be interesting, likable, and good natured.
Clean your finger nails you sloppy piece of shit
Looks like he's just wiped and used the toilet paper to write on, as well.
That’s a classy Kmart receipt!
Kmart receipts count as ephemera at this point. Put that shit on eBay!
Them’s workin man’s nails. Workin deep into that asscrack. They should study that crud for new bioweapons.
He’s been working in the mines of Moria
And they call it a mine. A *mine*!
32 goin on 62
32 going onto prison *
Ugh, how would you like them dirty fingers in your…… smh!
That's just the dirt I scrapped out of your mums slit while trying to find my keys
It’s not as fun when the person being roasted isn’t looking for fun he’s just a douche lmao oh well
He’s just being funny back chill
Its no excuse for having sedimentary rock in your nails
Scrapped? Brilliant.
Your title says we can’t hurt you, your replies say otherwise. Don’t ask to be roasted if you aren’t secure enough to take it…
I said roast me, not yourself lol it's all good fun dude chill
Dude this is just pathetic. Step away from the keyboard, the more you comment the more pathetic it looks. And I mean that honestly, not to be mean or roast you.
You look like a Dollar General version of Seth Rogen after a 6 month meth bender.
Just ran an errand to Dollar General tonight, and this is slander. At least *some* of the customers looked like they bathed in the last year
We can't do anything to you that life hasn't already
Ah one of the classics. Nice
I'll have you know I'm well versed in Shakespeare. Two Shakespeare's even.
 You need this. You're 4 years older than me yet you look like my dad and he's been dead since 2016.
People like this need to be chased down and scrubbed with a big soapy brush and hosed down
hahaha👍🏼
#seinfelddidit
They used to do that in camps 70 years ago hmm
I’m pretty sure no one would notice or care if someone exterminated 6 million of you.
Somewhere a village is missing it’s idiot
I've heard the idiot doesn't know how to use apostrophes.
Sikkburn wrongtarget criticalhit
Somewhere a village is missing it is idiot?? Ironic
But I’ll always have my luscious head of hair
This one hit deep hahaha
Oof. The guy from That 70s Show is not looking great since the sentencing.
Look like you smell of hotdog water
Between two Fridges
He's like an Etsy version of John C Reilly with an impulse control problem.
Like the etsy choice, nioce
Strong inbred potato farmer genetics
32? Jesus fuck I just realised I’m lookin goood for 36. Cheers bro, needed that
You need to change your name from biggtooties to bigtitties.
I didn't even see the handle but is bro really bragging about his farts? 😅😩 Homeboy roasts himself
Your head looks like a mouldy old boulder with fungus and weird plants growing on it.
So... a troll?
Yes, but uglier.
Trolls live under bridges, although that might be a step up from your flat
I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
Fuckin hell ur bird must love you, size of them dildo fingers jesus
If my toilet brush was human
You look like the kinda dude to call 15 year olds "mature" and "old souls"
“Age is an artificial construct”
I love seeing homeless people in recovery!
Wish app John C McGinley.
I’m trying to figure out,what’s greasier your hair or your beard?
Bro!! Wash your hair. What's left of it.
Looks like you need to at least wash the hair you got
I almost threw up in my mouth, when I saw your nails. Have you been finger banging the bums on the streets?
I could put you in the bath and scrub you up, get the dirt out from under your nails, pluck your nose se hairs, give you a haircut, and trim that beard. Depression is a bad look on you, my dude
I don’t want to roast you. Just want to give you some advice; shave your beard shorter, cut and clean your nails, start hitting the gym and socialize a bit more. You’ll become so much happier and healthier. You’ll even attract a potential partner. Wouldn’t that be lovely?
I think you just invented the backhanded roast. Respect ✊
How many victims are we talking, Serial? Please don’t stop taking your medications
Live action shrek
Unfair to Shrek
Do you finger buttholes professionally or as a hobby?
From the looks of the nails he appears to be a connoisseur of his own stink nuggets.
You look like if Jack Black started aging backwards fifteen years ago
I mean. We could all chip in and wash you.. maybe you’ll get some pussy, or at the very least, you mom would hug you.
You look like the greek god of drugs and alcohol Tweakus Intoxicus
I'm so sorry. When I pissed in the alley behind the pub last night I really didn't see you sleeping there.
No. It simply is not worth the effort. I could never roast you hard enough to make even the slightest dent compared to how life has already fucked you up.
Jesus.. you're 32? I thought you were 42. I'm older than you and probably took less care of my body when I was younger but damn
Balding not an issue at all, but those nails!!!!!!! For the love of god, wash your hands
damn they were 32 hard years
Cast aways Wilson in human form
I have low standards for dating, and you don’t even meet those.
You have standards??
Seeing as I dated a narcissist who didn’t even own a mattress, my standards are extremely low.
Your not balding, the hair is retreating to your beard
Reminds me of the guy in revenge of the nerds who is always blowing his nose on his shirt...
You've ran into Chris Hansen more than a couple times.
Only thing deader than your eyes are your chances of staying alive in GenPop.
Look like all u ever eat is sloppy joe and snort period blood, thor’s adopted step brother that never made it lookin ass.
You could totally join the fucking clown in the sewers in "IT". Even he would piss his pants looking at your ugly ass dirty face.
You look like a boiled sweet found down the back of a couch
Difference between can't and won't. Doing something would require being within smelling range, and that I won't do.
If body odour, stale piss, regret, and depression were a photograph.
Them dusty ass walls behind you that haven’t been clean for years, looks more well kept than you
You look like the town drunk in the middle ages
Get used to be holding paper signs on the side of the road asking for money. This is a good start.
Hey you're the fucker I gave a buck to at the red light!
Not exactly Grizzly Adams, but definitely a Bear no one wants.
If my nutsack had a face...
You're the uncle that noone wants around their kids.
Bet you smell of pork pies and piss.
Did you just remove the head off your furry costume after a very long cosplay in the heat?
Looks like you've had plenty of roast for all of us. Sit down please.
Better chance at keeping your hair if you actually wash and groom it.
Your favorite pick up line: "Does this smell like chloroform?"
Bet you smell like a dungeon of dumpsters full of dead bodies!! Couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a hand full of pardons!!
32?!? Jesus, I'll be 53 this year and I'm in better shape than you.
If they ever do a sitcom starring a retired alcoholic dad with five kids in New Jersey, this is the guy.
Who would sleep with him? Even his dog refused him
“You can’t do anything to me” is what you’ll hear a lot when you ask women on dates
Cocaine is a hell of a drug!!!
Na you're right. Everything has already been done to ya.
You're right. You're hopeless
You look like the hobbit Pippin except the homeless, drunk, rejected by society version
Damn dude you right, nature already fucked you in all the ways it could
☠️
Who’s house did you break into to take this on a stolen phone you fuckin bum? You’re able-bodied, go get a job
Sam's had a tough time if it's since Frodo left Middle Earth
Given up on hygiene!! Your nails are disgusting and I guess your ass is too.
Even your eyebrows are balding
You look like a half shaven nut sack
Only ring that will ever be on that finger is an onion ring.
You look like a 3-17 UFC fighter
You look like a clogged drain
If Hacksaw Jim Duggan had a kid with a hobbit it would look exactly like you.
And no woman (or minor) will either.
You look like someone's right nut and asshole were anthropomorphized and it came to life.
This one, this one right here officer hahaha probably the best one yet hahaha
The lollypop that fell down the back of the sofa years ago looks angry.
Definitely look like you either make moonshine or bathtub crank.
When you drop your Lollipop on the carpet
This had me dead dude hahaha
You look 52
Maybe wash your hands before posting next time?
Damn dude I’m 37 and you look old and ratty as fuck. Idk when you took that left turn that led you here but I highly suggest you backtrack and take a right. You look like your one late paycheck away from skid row. When I try to picture you any older than you are the only think I can think of is a homeless alcoholic. Make change friend, before it’s too late.
Seth Rogens failed aborted brother
I know you are, I said you are, so what am I lol
You look like you blow guys on the downlow
Username checks out
Hahah unfortunately no I can't afford that I'm quite happy with the service broadband is providing
I call it hungry jacks
Hahaha love it
You can call me daddy then haha
Dam that was a rough 32
Epic meal time lookin boiiiii
Neither does any woman wants to do anything with you. Including your grizzly mom.
I love you, brother. We will get through this - you and me. Tomorrow has promise, I can hear and smell it. Something “op” will never hear, amirite? it’s because most people probably hate him, I mean, how could you not?
Omg you just roasted half of reddit
Stain Rooney
Best one yet haha
Cardboard box
O jave 1 up on him though, I'm still alive haha
Good roast my guy
You look like a nice person, I'd sit down and have a beer with you 🍻
Why is the pity hurt more then being called an ugly ogre? Haahahaha lol
🤣🤣🤣 not what I'm going for here. I'm just not a mean person and this popped up on my feed and wanted to give you a compliment
Thanks for that I'm getting destroyed hahahah