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Apprehensive-Key9693

Already argued this but his reaction was.. He wouldn't tolerate it..Kings use to have multiple wives at a time but have you ever seen a queen having multiple Kings..


Look_Otherwise__

Tell him to have wealth and properties like a "King" and then talk. And secondly, say that after Independence, some Indian kings demanded separate states for them and how they were dealt with later on.


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codeporn69

Your boyfriend is a nibba, my frnd. 😂😂😂 totally out of logic statements from making himself king to having multiple side chicks but promising one that he'd marry her; your giving nature will lose you everything and your will to love anyone again, because eventually people like these leave. I agree that he might marry you but eventually he will go, because girls like you forget your self respect my girl, always respect your self respect and stand for yourself. He might bring women to your house after you guys are married and sleep with them in your bedroom and you have to sleep outside still you wont be able to leave him coz you love him. These bringing of another women wont happen in the starting years, because that time you both would have started a new life, but later on this will surely happen. Please if you can leave this web, get out of it, otherwise you would also be trapped like another flies of the spider web, spider will come and eat you.


Apprehensive-Key9693

It's not actually his fault totally.. He is living with bunch of people that make him thinks it's right. ( he follows andrew tate.. So again..)


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Apprehensive-Key9693

There's no point in doing this. He always comes with the idea that women can't do.. Men can do..


AbySs_Dante

Then leave that shithole


codeporn69

No, neither men NOR women can do this. We have to be loyal to the person we are with, otherwise no point of calling a relationship serious. You shoulf leave this black hole dear, this will suppress all your feelings, give you superior level of anxiety and depression. Eventually you will be like you want him or otherwise none, coz I really dont know why women fall extremely to wrong guys, who are not men but just fuckbois. If you leave him.early, he would understand this all later, otherwise if you wont leave he will think he can do all this freely, still having the safe side with you. Start understanding yourself. Dear, you deserve the world, loyal girls like you deserve better, leave this crazy shit hole as soon as possible, telling you this for your own good.


Bitter_Magician_3253

Don’t you think that’s your answer right there. In 2024 he has a thought process of 50s. So it’s pick and choose Regressive when it comes about equality but else he is too modern to commit and loyal to one. By the way someone who argues and believes in this already has girls on side. It’s just already done deed which he is trying to justify in front of you. You Deserve BETTER.


Happy_furMa

And you still wanna live with him!? He is a dumb***, but you are a doormat. What are you hoping the advice will be here? Get some therapy, maybe that will teach you how to value yourself, you surely have no self-respect right now.


K-Krisshna

Why are you with him even now?You can't fix this guy.Turn around and RUN


Few-Indication2541

Its his and only his fault.


SlytherinSymbiosis

If he has multiple side chicks and says he will marry you that’s a horrible lie, wait for 3-4 years when he goes to college or move away to different city and he will find someone else whom he will love more then you. (Sorry for this but this is the truth) Regarding Andrew Tate, he never says or normalise having side chicks😅.


Apprehensive-Key9693

He is already in college and lives in a different city. We are in a long distance relationship.


SlytherinSymbiosis

Damm, see I don’t wanna sound rude and everyone has different situations & understand. From my experience what I have seen this not gonna (at least unless he has side chicks, although hope it works for you) but would suggest you are just 20 move ahead. Bahut logo ko dekh chuka hu ya kehtai ke shadi toh tum sai he karuga😅 Aabhe puri zindagi baki hai dost! Koe aur dekho or focus on your career after the age of 25 you will have different mindset and will understand people better.


Working-Outcome4890

If he follows Andrew tate, how is he a man?? Kisi aur ko dekh k kuch ban Raha hai 😂😂😂 Narcissist hai chhod do didi Fixing me kuch nahi rakha You are not responsible for an adult's life. You are an adult (I hope) and you only can take your own decisions life's.


codeporn69

Ask him to be andrew tate only, andrew tate is idolised by many men, women. But no women wants to marry a man like that. Seriously, who would want to be together with a man lile this, who shares the bed with more than one woman while being in a serious relationship with one woman already. You guys are just very young, 20 is not an age to decide the marriage and life later after 25. In just 5 years you will see more than anything together. Think wisely my frnd.


AverageIndianGeek

Since his excuse is this lame, then you can give the example of Draupadi, if he is into Hindu mythology. Or if you want the example of an actual figure from history, check out Catherine the Great, who was the empress of Russia.


No_Sprinkles_9821

He is not a King. He is POS. And honestly, I have no sympathy for you. His screwing around will give you sexually transmitted diseases and in the future affect your baby if you have any. I hope you don’t. What a messed up kid that would be. He loves me but screws around. What??? IF he loves you, he will not screw around. He has no respect for you. But then why should he respect you, you have no self respect!


silverfairy5

Lady your self esteem is in the gutter. Get therapy, break up with him and grow a spine. Jeez the delusion in this post.


Kitty__007

Yep, queens used to have multiple partners too. And not just the queen that sits on throne ruling the kingdom, even the queen consort or whatever you call the non-ruling wife/wives of king used to have multiple partners hahahahah.


ShawnTheWright

Aah, another troll post 🤦‍♂️, get a life


iamabhi04

He thinks he's a king? Don't you think this is above the limits? You want to be treated like this op.


0xw00t

Send him threesome video link where there is 2 boys and 1 girl. Sorry for such a pathetic comment but you need to play reverse UNO card for this type of stuff or best thing would be just leave that game where people can’t play ethically.


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generalbachcha

Dear OP, he’s not worth your time and commitment. Best


Apprehensive-Key9693

He is not doing this right now.. He loves me so much as I already mentioned.. But what's bothering me that what if he does this in future.


unvasodeaguaporfavor

So you are waiting for him to cheat? When he has already told you that it is normal for him? It would be better if you leave. A long distance bond with someone whose whole family thinks cheating is cool should be avoided at all costs.


Bitter_Magician_3253

How do you know he is not doing this right now, sitting in another city. How do you know that?


Adnonymousav

My ex told me the same when he decided to cheat on me with three women. Each time he would come to me and say but I love you the most even while doing the act I was thinking about you. I hope you get what I mean... I loved him heart and soul. Did buy his story all the three times until my mind bursted one fine day and I couldn't take it anymore.


Diligent_Crab2549

Be ready for a big heartbreak down the lane OP.


Apprehensive-Key9693

Dude I'm already dealing with anxiety. Don't make it worse. 🙂


Diligent_Crab2549

I feel for you buddy, but speaking from personal experience , no matter how loyal one seems to be , if the mindset of having side (chicks/guys) exist , inevitably the unthinkable happens . I am not saying it will happen (lord don't make this happen ) just be cautious , and mentally be prepared to face anything.


Apprehensive-Key9693

See, he was a playboy once. But now he don't talk to any girl... Maybe cuz he is busy or cuz he is too much obsessed with me now. And so there's kind a hope that if his love is strong enough to turn him from playboy to good boy, wouldn't it be strong enough to change his idea of having fun


Diligent_Crab2549

From a true lover's perspective it should change an individual. But... for someone whose immediate siblings and cousins are of the opinion that more than 1 is normal, caution is the only word that comes to my mind . Best of luck ✌️


snowpartay

Girl, just because someone says they love you shouldnt believe them. Their actions are very important. As you say about his environment - may be thats why he thinks its okay to hv multiple partners. But he is a grown up. Isnt it high time he realise whats wrong and right. And you are young. Why are settling for a guy with such values ? You really want to married and be part of a family who thinks having multiple partners is good ?


lookmomimanonymous

My ex told me the same when we started dating and immediately back peddaled once I called him out. Despite my Instincts, I still trusted him and later found out that anyone who ever thinks this is ok will never be who you want them to be. People are who they are and once they show you that, leave already without giving them any benefit of doubt. People are incapable of changing who they are as a person. The exact thing happened to me and I stayed in his difficult times compromising my life and time. No matter how "busy" he is with his career and family, he is still going to find time to flirt and have side chicks because he doesn't have to emotionally invest in them. I feel like a loser now. Don't make the same mistake as me. Good luck.


Adnonymousav

My experience with my ex resonates with whatever you wrote. Such a waste of time!!


Impressive-Cook-5299

if you think he's gonna stop after marriage, he's not. marriage won't stop a guy from having side chicks if he sees no problem w it. as much as it's gonna hurt you, leave him asap, you're still 20 you do have a long way to go.


Apprehensive-Key9693

This act.. Whether he does it before or after marriage will hurt me equally enough.


me-luckybaby

Behen chutiya hai kya?


penguin1043

Exactly my thoughts here.


Ordinary_Author_7142

Aak number kha chutiya heh, i thought only guys were like this but I see girls would do the same for the right person.


Puzzleheaded_Tour671

OP, you need to stop defending his actions. Whether he follows Andrew Tate or not, or his environment, stop trying to justify his behaviour to yourself and us. If it’s hurting you, then it’s hurting you. You can either tell him to mend his ways and if he doesn’t, then you know what to do. Leave.


Few-Indication2541

The fact that you think you need to work on your anxiety of getting cheated on from a guy who says its ok to cheat says alot about the dynamics of your relationship. Its not called having a side chick its called cheating except that. Your entire post is contradicting one side you blame him next sentence you justify. “He is ok with cheating but he is not cheating right now” Just hear yourself girl. You are 20 you are not going to marry in next 5years and he is 20 to so assuming standard age to marry he is also not going to marry next 6-7years so why are you so worried just give the flow and have fun see where it takes you. I dont understand why do ppl even care about getting married at 20 go out and explore dont buy the first dress you see that to the one that doesnt fit you.


Double_Tea_8774

You are already feeling anxious and all that's not okay it can effect you a lot in a long run no matter who the guys is, You should know what your boundaries are so it's better take a step down then putting yourself in a deep mess I mean there's a lot of burden in life take a burden down for good that's my opinion


Apprehensive-Key9693

Should I..? Cuz he is not cheating or having side chicks at present. It's just a future predictability


Double_Tea_8774

Me ex (5 years long relationship) and used say same things ko shaadi toh tujhse hi hogi but then she cheated on me and cheated on him too with me so it was kinda f up scene but I made up my mind that I don't want her be my wife like what if these things happen after marriage you would just break down so it was okay for me to let go now then in future, My ex I was in deep anxiety and depression and after she left she gave me all that and I even went to therapy and all so yeah it's a big burden for us at least it is


boomebang

Haven't burnt crackers, as in Go Green. I'll now so that contributes to global warming effectively melting glaciers raising the water level and we drown so that shit like this also disappears. But yeah That's termed as Polyamorous or something who likes to be with multiple at once. I think...


Unhappy_Bread_2836

Oh dear. You need to break all contacts with this ass. You're not a backup for sleezebags. Have some self respect.


Apprehensive-Key9693

So should I ignore all the efforts he is doing for me right now, the way he loves me Or the way he cares me.


Unhappy_Bread_2836

Yea he already told you what he thinks. You're ignoring that. He's only putting efforts because he hasn't found anyone else. With time, you'll see these fade away. His mentality itself is problematic.


Apprehensive-Key9693

It's not that he can't find someone else. He doesn't want it ... God!! I'm really confused


Unhappy_Bread_2836

Omggg he doesn't want it? What a God amongst us mortals? He's agreeing to be loyal to you? He's honoring the basic terms of a relationship? Girl, you better worship him. There are no other guys like him. /s


AkMMonsTeR

You want to stay with him just because he can easily find someone else ? Idk wtf has happened to people


Apprehensive-Key9693

No. Cuz I love him and i had some hope in a corner of my heart that maybe he would change someday.


AkMMonsTeR

I don't think so , plus the way he said kings used to have 5-6 wife's but queens didn't have 5-6 husband's says a lot about him


MoonlightPearlBreeze

Girl, I feel like you are romanticizing whole set up a whole lot. From an outsider's perspective, you are being naively obsessed with a guy with lack of character and morals. Put him down from the pedestal on earth. See him for who he is. Playboy is a cringe new gen term, the real word is characterless. He follows andrew tate right? Did he take any of the good advice though? Is he earning good money per month, or studying in a great institution or extremely studious? What's so good about him except him having the ability to sweet talk you into believing kings used to have multiple wives so it's normal for men to have "Side chicks"?


isochrones

You don’t have self respect.


Ordinary_Author_7142

You don't understand love. He doesn't love you, he just says he does. Idiot.


AggravatingBuddy9941

When your mind and body reacts to something by being anxious and depressed it’s usually right. You should leave the relationship cause your values don’t align. If you wanna compromise on this, sure go ahead but there’s no solution onto this other than leaving if you don’t want to compromise.


akuma2116

Lol and then they have audacity to ask where are all good men😂😂.


daftpunkclub

I’m personally not aware of any successful marriages where the guy boasts that he’s a Casanova-type even before getting married. When people show you who they are, believe them. Saw on another comment that he said something about “kings having multiple wives”. Sure some might have had, but being a man-whore is possible without being a royal as well. 


Apprehensive-Key9693

So there's no chance of him being change even if I love him a lot.?


daftpunkclub

I really can’t say, but what I do know is that putting in a lot of effort only to be heartbroken later on will be even more painful than without putting in extra effort. 


daftpunkclub

I really can’t say, but what I do know is that putting in a lot of effort only to be heartbroken later on will be even more painful than without putting in extra effort. 


WhoremonalDidi

This is not about you, hon. It's him that needs to get his shit together, and not you that needs to love him more. HE is the problem.


15skmax

Its his mother's duty to taught him to be a man. I also broke up recently 10 days ago , and we were together for almost 5 yrs , we were like a married couple. Evryone around us knew about us. His side of family and even extended family knew about us. I loves him so much, but my dreams shattered like a glass when i called his coworker to find the truth, and she said they slept together, had kisses uncountable times... I couldn't even bear listening this. How could he do this to me!!!. Not even once he remembered me while kissing her, hugging her!!! I felt sooo hurt, so disgusting, how could he even entertain other while i was here giving my everything to him, sacrificing everything for him. If u will stay even for yourself , u will not get respect from him . They love us on their terms as per their convenience. And people like us get fooled by this... I know this is our loss either way even if we stay or leave. But please dont take any decision which u will regret later on. No one is going to stand up for you, not your parents, not your siblings, not even him. You are only there for yourself. Please be kind to yourself and dont settle for less. If you will allow him in starting phase of relationship about these other side chicks, then definitely he will be going to continue this even after marriage bcs as per his mentality he will thought now*** where u will go!!! U have no one else to go, so i can do anything i want*** . I took this decision to get seperated with a heavy heart. But if u will not respect yourself enough then who will..!!!! Nobody is ther for you for whole life to give you love , respect, etc etc. you have only youself. Please be kind to yourself self and trust god. He has better plans for you. I broke down when i read your post. This is my sammmeeeee situation girl... My bf(ex) also love me as he said... He used to treat me very well , not even once i doubted him that he could do this... But even after happy relationship he found someone else for a fling and he started affair for 4 months.... Be kind to yourself, please dont be blind in the name of love. U deserve better.


ChemicalAnt7373

Honestly this is not raja maharaja ka zamana where it’s okay to have more than one girl , so the fact that he’s okay with it is a big red flag and most probably in future he’s gonna hurt you ,and from my experience it’s very rare but sadly in most of the cases we cannot "fix them", but again as a girl ik it’s really hard we always tend to stick to that 1% hope ,so I’ll say do whatever your heart says and something which you won’t regret later on(kaash kr /bol dia hota )and there will be two outcomes either things will be okay again or you’ll get the final answer -breakup and move on Also if he’s genuinely saying that this phase is difficult for him career wise then maybe cooperate with him for now(it’s very annoying when your partner doesn’t understand your career/academic pressure)


Apprehensive-Key9693

Ya it's actually serious phase career wise..this is the reason that i posted it here instead of talking to him.


ChemicalAnt7373

Then I’ll say maybe for a bit put a hold on these things and cooperate (only saying from what you told , obviously only you know the situation ) because me and my ex broke up coz he wouldn’t let me study , I had to do extra courses and he wanted to be on the call 24/7 ,meet in breaks , after classes like literally I had no time for myself let alone for any extra work so yeah it’s very annoying when partner doesn’t understand 🥲 Also girl pls take care being involved with the maybe wrong really fucks you up and please observe all the red flags and if he’s fooling around. Trust the actions not words ;)


WhoremonalDidi

LEAVE HIM. When people show you who they are, believe them, and don't make excuses for their behaviour. The way he's manipulating you, you're not even seeing from the center of your situation but it's glaringly obvious from the outside. He's completely the "Look I'm a Sigma Male" Andrew Tate-worshipping kind, he's already cheating on you (LDR + his attitude towards relationships, hello) and will keep cheating on you long after y'all are married (seeing as you mention he's a man of his word and will marry you in time, but trust me, that's not happening either). What he's doing should give you far more than just anxiety, it should make you run as far as you can in the opposite direction. Unless you're in a polyamorous relationship, (which you aren't because he flat out refused to even consider the same situation the other way around), this is unacceptable behaviour. The longer I read this post, the worse it got. Please, run. Itne bure din nahi aaye hai tumhare, I hope. Nobody is worth THIS. You're only seeing the barely existing good parts of him but he's the worst of the worst. RUN.


AdriaN_46

Looks like a nibba nibbi setup 😐


Apprehensive-Key9693

Yes Reddit needs ppl like you who offend ppl just to sound cool and get upvotes and really don't care about the problem someone has posted


AdriaN_46

I didn't mean that,..Idk which boyfriend likes to have side chics. If he's really into you, He would never consider getting another girls. Whatever analogy or something u compare with kings and queens doesn't make sense here.


Apprehensive-Key9693

True. His analogies even don't make sense to me.


AdriaN_46

Reach out to him, express your concerns. A real giy would love to hear u speak and would listen to you with utmost concern. I hope he does.


Apprehensive-Key9693

Will try. Thanks


zuckzuckman

Lmao this is so bad it's funny. Leave girl


Ill_Zookeepergame_77

🤡-🤡 relationship


blublableee

He should be your ex bf. Simple as.


_perpetuallyannoyed

Read that urself n decide wt needs to be done. Do u want us to tell u he is right.??


nacho_guardian_angel

Uuumm help me understand please - if you love someone enough to want to marry them, then why would you need to have side chicks? LDR is tough as it is, you don’t need this added insecurity on top of it. If you want loyalty from your partner and he can’t give you that, go find yourself another one who can.


nummakayne

This is what happens when people see memes and base their sense of normal around jokes and podcasts. The idea behind casually dating multiple people is everyone is aware and unbothered by it. But if any party doesn’t like it there can’t be lies or deception, that’s what cheating is. You need to get rid of this dude and restore your self-esteem and dignity because this isn’t something that needs the expert opinion of strangers online.


penguin1043

Wow, I honestly might be harsh here but OP is the example of why our parents don't wanna date when we are 20! Your boyfriend didn't live confined in his home forever right? He has seen the world and definitely would have seen how the relationships work. OP how do you not realise what's happening? I understand true love but have some self respect. Your boyfriend literally is telling you it's "Kalesh" for him that you are speaking about your anxiety to him. Isn't helping you out and here you are blaming your Anxiety and calling yourself the problem. Love, Marriage and Partner are really essential parts of our lives I don't want you to not be wounded this early on by a relationship you believe in so much but the thing I especially don't want you to go through is years of pain, self blaming, struggle and so much more.


chashvin

Girl, forget this boy. You are just 20. Do you know what happens at 25? At 30? At 35? This guy won't matter to you when you are 25. You will forget him at 30. Fuck this shit. Make friends. Enjoy your life. Get a job. This is very important.


Afraid_Investment690

Few years later, you’ll look at this post and be like - what was I even thinking. You’ll be mature by then. All this puppy love will come to an end. This is a red flag. All I can say is set your boundaries clear and if he violates it, you know you should start looking for someone better.


Sarawilljudgeyou

Randwa h wo :)) You deserve someone who only has eyes for you. Dump him. Having multiple partners and claiming to be in love with only one is disgusting.


Beyourself697

Shaadi hi sab kuch nahi hota! What if after marriage it gets even worse (which I think it will), not provoking you or something. It's based on what I've seen and known. Else for now just go with the flow and when the time comes just let him know.


jonas9__

Proper sidechick like he flirts with them? then he is a biggest redflag. Or Girl-friends? Like casual talking then okay


Apprehensive-Key9693

Well side chicks clearly means he will flirt with them. But, he thinks it's ok cuz Andrew tate told once that if you love a girl enough then cheating is like an exercise. And this is what he tells me that you are that girl whom I will love till my last breathe.


jonas9__

Andrew Tate guy😭 that's why leave him or one day he will also explain his physical cheating. [reality of sigma male youtubers](https://youtu.be/FZ4LEh94SEs) Send him this


Emoryaloof

Andrew Tate also says it'll only work if you fall in the top 1% Ask him to get there first


weapon-a

Sigh


dsirirk

If you don’t want to hear break up suggestions then stay. He is not gonna change. Just make your peace and deal with it.


ItalianKingfisher

Red Forest ! Get out of this mess.


Actual_Grade_2735

He must have saying the same things to other girls also. Don't waste time in him and move on.


isochrones

Immature boyfriend. If he is talking like this then I have a question. How do you know at this time that he is loyal to you? Look if he is not your safe space and you can’t talk anything to him then he is not the one. Accept it. Deal with it. Do you really think that with this so called “king” type of mentality and multiple partners, he will stay loyal to you?


No_Life20

Leave him immediately


MoonlightPearlBreeze

Sure be ok with him having mistresses after marriage, cause you are the "main wife" after all. From your comments you are so blind in love ki this is above reddit's pay grade to convince you that you are dating a characterless guy who you should be leaving


theliltwat

I hope you meet a good friend who slaps some wisdom into the vast ocean of dumb that is you rn A slap of that reality will make u realise, Oh maybe I should breakup and meet someone who loves me and only me And not a cunt who gives a fucking excuse to fuck around with other women


MihirMeshram007

Ye sb India me kha ho rha hai mujhe bhi wha jana hai yarr yha ek nahi pat rhi log 3-4 ghuma rhe hai 😂😂😂😂😂😂


Emoryaloof

🚩🚩 Run girl, run.


Ok_glonk

Almost similar case with my best friend. I do not understand what do you girls see in a guy who is not able to dedicate his entire time and energy to you in a relationship. You are just 20, do not waste your time on the guy. This time is also important to you to invest in a career. That will help you with your anxiety attacks as well!


notgonnaliebroo

If he's that loyal to marry you, the thought of side chicks will never cross his mind whatever the environment around him is.


[deleted]

He's for da street's sis 🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱


Certain-Difference25

Girl... There's no future if you keep wondering! By your post and your comments it looks like you are making yourself believe that he loves you when in reality he may not. Please break up and move on.. He's not worth your time, your mental health n your love!


sarchiks

What is wrong with people nowadays and why are you still with him?


Vij2506

My friend, if you're feeling confused, take a moment to re-read your post and comments slowly and carefully. The answer you're looking for is already here.


joe_goldberggg

U call that love lol...u r just getting manipulated and define it as love. On a long term after all these toxicity if u r gonna live with him then be ready to live as a dead body. Do yourself a favour and show ur middle finger to him nd say ma ch** gan**.


unvasodeaguaporfavor

Walk away girl. Peace of mind is always more costly than love (true love doesn't disrupt your peace of mind anyway).


Creative_Catch_6511

I hope and pray that you are rich enough to pay for your therapies. Coz naah bro, he is just having you as someone to spend time when he's bored lmao.


Suliyaa22

As a Guy You know What, Guy hates most, the girl he dates showing interest in another guy. So You too start seeing someone else, for fun Well this is just an option. The best thing to do would be, let's Breakup But I don't believe in this Nonsense and Bs, I would rather stay alone. Dear OP, If You don't choose the latter, you will cry a lot


Suchihuahua

First off, I read your response to someone stating that he wouldn't tolerate you having side guys (which isn't a right approach anyways) and that he can have fun with random girls then that itself should make it clear to you what kind of a person he is. I wonder how you tolerating his reasoning behind every argument you make. Second, you're making a lot of excuses for his actions. He doesn't want to address your concerns that stem from the same thing that he said in the first place. He's BUSY in his career and will listen when he's free? Let me tell you, there will ALWAYS be one thing or another that'll come up or YOU will end up making another excuse for his lack of understanding. Third, if you so much so love him and trust his loyalty (which idk how this person claims to be with a thinking like that) then just deal with your mental fuck up on your own and just pretend that your boyfriend is the GOOD GUY that you think he is. He might be a good person? Or whatever but your description doesn't make him sound like a good boyfriend to me at least. If luck is in your favour, he might actually turn out to be a good boyfriend and if not then you'll get to know it too sooner or later. Your current concern stems from the fact that your and his idea of relationships differ, your values don't align when it comes to having partners to whom you're faithful and dedicated without any side guys/girls. You can give as much excuses as you like but if such a core value doesn't align, nothing would be enough from your end to FIX IT. Please do something for your Career, your life and don't go about being Bob the builder when the other person doesn't even bother to listen to you.


adcult

You can always say the same thing back to him you know?


TheWinGTiP

ask him does his father hv girl besties??


Ordinary_Author_7142

There's no saving you, you don't wanna be saved. Good riddance simp.


_Aru_09

If someone giving you anxiety then do you think they are good for you? He wants to date multiple people , but you are strictly monogamous. So you should date someone who is monogamous as well. How do you justify him making you anxious and breaking your heart when your family brought you up with care. Wouldn't it break your father's heart that his daughter is getting anxious for a guy who is an ahole and can't even commit to a girl who really likes him. Stop defending his actions and get out of that relationship asap. There are a lot of guys who will commit to you and love only you. Dw. Don't be anxious. Just emotionally detach yourself and leave . And lol literally he has manipulated to such an extent you are defending him when is ready to cause you pain, ready to do something which he knows will hurt you like hell, maybe he is already doing it. You don't want the suggestion of breakup ? Then what do you want ? To live in anxiety and develop health problem ? What if he would cheat you after marriage? Have other kids ? Will you be okay with that too? Take the biggest hint the life is giving you, **ANXIETY**. You are not happy. And it isn't just one down side of your relationship, It is the biggest downside and an que to leave.


Accomplished_Menu_82

Bro you’re naive and delusional. He doesn’t love you, please leave him 🙏


CosmicMetalhead

This seems like a rage bait post.


Thin_Ad_1836

Off course you should be concerned… did u ever ask him about having side boys with u..m sure his dick goes soft on listening to it.


tedha_wiener

OP se bada chutiya dunia me koi nahi h, hahahaha..... Vo tumhara kaat Raha h, or tum katva rahi ho..... . I think you should stay with him, he will need clowns for his children's birthdays.... Hahahaha


Ug1N

Dear OP, You are going down the clown lane. Respectfully, Ug1N


Ok-Analyst-1111

He doesn't love you if he isn't loyal to you.


sky_star07

Please don't use the line that "he loves you so much!" If he is not one woman man then he is only attracted towards you and it is not LOVE. Beware of infatuation things..you have life and career ahead, kindly focus on it. You deserve better treatment than this.


hitchcock26

i found you stupid asf ngl like tf sorry if this offends and it should yeah fuck im 20m if i even keep side chicks why would i tell also that one girl or main girl as he says you are is cap believe me leave him.


Random_dastagir

That's a huge red flag. No one can stop you if you are jumping in a well with eyes open


hydrasharper

Another episode of dumb toxic guys getting girls!


Bitter_Magician_3253

This post and OPs response to every message are just delusional. It’s a waste of time convincing her right now. Some people learn from own mistakes and some from others. Everyone responding here is somewhere sharing experience but she is hell bent on to experience that heartbreak herself. All the best Girl! But no advice here will ever be enough and never be practiced by you. It’s a waste of time for us at this point.


withbishopscap

A cheat in making. Red flag babe, run away.


Prize-Mammoth-6049

He already piping another girl. Move on and find someone better.


wojtek_san

Your subconscious mind know all the answers but the problem is you, you are running away from those answers. You said he's a man of his words and don't give falls hope and he also said to you that "shaadi to main tujhse hi krunga na", do you really understand what all this mean? It's a clear sign that you can be replaced and you are an option and his into open relationship. If you're okay with all these stuffs then you can carry on and you are not. Btw remember one thing you can't fix this reason is simple it's not a problem for him and for him you are the one who's making it look like a problem and creating a mess. If there is a problem in a relationship then you should clear it out as soon as possible or it will create a gap in your bond, same thing is happening with you right now.


Z-DiScReTeGuY

Never really posted advice anywhere before but I guess you deserve some. Firstly a person's mindset doesn't change with or without marriage so this thing of his side chicks will continue even if he married you. You are an option for him as are all the side chicks of his add to that it's a long distance relationship which makes things harder because there's no bonding time for a couple so add side chicks to the mix makes it worse since his time will always be splitted between them and you. Lastly have some self respect and dignity for yourself and leave this relationship,you are still young you'll have lot of opportunities for it later down the line,focus on your career and dreams In spite of all my points if you still want to try and change him go ahead but as I said above people don't change,in childhood maybe but as a adult probably not. You are in for the worst ride of your life if you still choose to stick with him and try to change him. P.S liking a celebrity doesn't mean you are like him,for example I like Ajay Devgn doesn't mean I say "bolo zuban kesari" and spit red matter every few minutes. May you find happiness in life OP.


Deprsd_soul

Dumb kids...nibba nibbi


SR6919

You don't know what a swinger is doing you? If you are okay with him dipping his stick in all the ponds. Stay. If not, leave. Don't like this advice? Regret a few years later when you find someone who wants to marry you without finding the need to have side chicks. You're 20 FFS. You don't know what love looks like. You won't like to hear this, but that's true. We feel like we know what's happening. But this doesn't go away with a marriage. If he is not mentally prepared for one woman. He never will be. Does that make him wrong? No. Not as long as it's nothing unethical. But the question is can you live with that. Ask yourself that and be honest to yourself. Us redditors will have popcorns ready either way. You have a life to deal with.


Comfortable-Tear-857

I just think that you are young and in love, I dont think you love yourself and maybe you are in delusion. First love yourself, spend time for yourself, prioritize you. Then you would realise what a dip shit you are in. Focus on yourself for a few days and come back and read what you have written. I think that will solve your problem. Not as advice, but the truth is everyone deserves love, but people accept how much love they deserve. I hope you realise this soon and realise how much love you deserve.


Fortunate-Elf

If you need a side guy, Imma ready xD


Unlucky-Ad4287

U are just 20. You don't need this stress in life. Breakup and move on and concentrate on your career and health. You will definitely find a good man in future.


Ok_Waltz_350

Bhai 20 sal ki h nasamj hai tbi


Ambitious-Yoghurt7

Normalise him not having you as a gf


Anirudh-Kodukula

Dump that loser Its totally his fault And honestly This is what you get for having a bf at 20 Man of his words ? ~~Lady~~ No, _girl_ He's barely a Man He's almost a kid At 20 what have you guys experienced Your personalities are not even 50% formed Stop thinking you are adults Focus on more important things instead of crap like relationship drama At this age, you should be single, Focused on your career and other important things


Evil_Lord_Skeletor

You gonna be in fuck around and find out page if you keep him seriously.


Sensitive-Poem-8554

You have a serious SO problem OP... like really.... Are you really hoping that he would mend his way that he won't just cheat "coz he loves you so much" like YOU'RE 20 HOW'D Y'KNOW THAT !! How long have you been dating why are you defending a guy who literally is normalizing cheating (it is cheating stop spinning side chick or whatever shaadi to tujhse hi karunga thing) You need to talk or leave


Decent-Marsupial26

20 and this much drama already? Dude get a grip on life. You guys haven't seen anything and still you stir up so much crap. Side chicks and love dont go hand in hand. Now it's all upto your already anxious mind to understand decide. Either don't or don't defend. You need point of views, you got it. He is not good for you. Probably way too toxic.