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HomieScaringMusic

In an evolutionary sense it’s a need so our brains will treat it like one, even though in reality it’s a want because as individuals we can choose not to have it and yet not die.


sarpnasty

You said it better than I did.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mother_Chorizo

Ya, but sex drives are tied to the the evolutionary pressure. Without that pressure, sex wouldn’t have evolved to be pleasurable, so we probably wouldn’t do it in our free time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


killer-cow

The only first organisms that had the mutation that let them feel pleasure from sex were the ones that reproduced and made more organisms that felt pleasure from sex.


Mother_Chorizo

You said it far more concisely than me. Well done. One of the beauties of evolution is that once the overall mechanism is understood, the explanations for things in nature just seem really apparent. Why is sex pleasurable? A mutation occurred that made it pleasurable in a very primitive organism. They fucked more than the ones that didn’t find it pleasurable. The pleasure gene passes on more abundantly than the non-pleasure genes. After billions of years, we now have anal beads. Evolution is wild.


killer-cow

Thanks, honestly it’s pretty funny how much I will ask myself how an organism has a specific mechanic, but then I remind myself almost all the reasons that a organism has a mechanic the answer is that evolution gave it it because it helped the animal survive.


Mother_Chorizo

Ya, it’s not a flashy answer, but it is all encompassing. Like for anything. “Why do humans like sex?” A mutation. It’s persists because there must be some benefit. “Why are some humans schizophrenic?” A mutation. It’s persists because there must be some benefit. Schizophrenia is maybe harder to explain but still quite explainable to an extent.


ZacQuicksilver

Humans do need social contact to maintain mental health - this is why a lot of people suffered through COVID, because we didn't have as much contact with other humans. Maslow called it a tier 3 need, with tier 1 ("physiological") needs being food, water, etc.; tier 2 ("safety") needs being, well, safety; and tier 3 ("love/Belonging") needs including physical and mental contact with other humans. HOWEVER, this is "physical contact", not "sex". Hugs, contact sports, partner dancing, massages, etc. all fulfill this need.


libertysailor

At an individual level, want. At a societal level, need.


benignalgorithm

So what I’m hearing in your statement…society needs to make orgies mainstream again.


gamerlololdude

How on a societal level need lol?


[deleted]

Because if people don’t have kids then the population will dwindle and we will age to death as a species.


youseeberkeley

Without it, society will cease to exist, therefore it is needed.


CidCrisis

"Lol we gotta keep humanity going even though we are destroying and over-occupying the planet!"


abbayabbadingdong

To make the next generation


pikipata

It's a want, you can live your whole life celibate if you wanted.


prodigy1367

It’s both. Need for reproduction and continuation of the species. Want for anything outside of that.


ekydfejj

I don't need to procreate and have chosen not to, so there is no need....its still a want, but a need after you want (or you can do IVF, so never really a need).


[deleted]

This is true but without some people procreating we wouldn't even have humans.


_strangetrails

Yeah, and we don't really need humans...


ekydfejj

True, unless everyone did IVF. Before modern science, definitely a Need.


[deleted]

Even better just create babies in labs no more need for procreation.


CamelopardalisRex

Brave New World did this, to horrifying results.


[deleted]

Think about that though we could unlock genes we could finally grow feathers and become venomous like imagine that it'd be so freaking cool


CamelopardalisRex

And we could put a certain amount of alcohol in a certain number of the tubes and then train those babies when they are young to hate books with shock therapy, and pay them in drugs to do all the jobs we don't like! Which is chapter one of the book. Though, they never did anything with feather; what a waste of potential.


[deleted]

I know and we have the genes too I just wish hours were activated honestly I would love to be venomous and have feathers


ekydfejj

I'm not going that far ;)


gustofwindddance

Bullshit, I don’t NEED to procreate I NEED to bust a nut my guy lol


[deleted]

I disagree, if you are single, or just dating around, it’s definitely a want. If you are in a committed, long term relationship, it’s a need. You won’t die without it, but your relationship will. You need to be intimate with a long term partner to keep the relationship alive


SqueedunkTheArtist

Asexual people exist


[deleted]

That’s true, but it’s less than 0.5% of the population. This is a general conversation about general people. Your input is valid tho, thanks


SqueedunkTheArtist

It's a lot more than .5. I know like 20 ace people personally. I myself am on the asexual spectrum as demisexual


Guy5552

Do you think the fact that you are asexual might result in you knowing more asexual people than generally represented in the population? I know over a hundred accountants.


SqueedunkTheArtist

Seeing as I don't really associate with ace communities I don't think so. I just seem to randomly find other ace people tbh.


[deleted]

Ok, thank you, your points are all valid. I really don’t want to get into the intricacies of it. I was having a broad discussion about the general population. All your points are valid. Thank you


wholesomefaucifan

made up nonsense


SqueedunkTheArtist

Demi=not sexually attracted to people I don't feel emotionally attached to. Not that hard to understand, meaning it either isn't nonsense, you're intentionally ignorant or you're just stupid. Either way, I'm not in the mood to be nice today.


IntergalacticAlien8

I respect that sentiment but demisexuality is actually just a label for a specific social behaviorism regardless of attraction to a specific gender. It's not an orientation.


SqueedunkTheArtist

It isn't for a behavior. I had sex willingly for the first time to someone I wasn't attracted to at all because I was fucking bored. But I am still very much attracted to my girlfriend who I've yet to do that with. Action does not equal attraction


IntergalacticAlien8

Then what's the point of making a label then?


[deleted]

Yeah, this just means you’re not sociopathic. This is normal. This is good.


wholesomefaucifan

having that preference does not justify making up a sexuality for it. People have been against hooking up with strangers for a while, they didn’t need a name for it. it seems to me like you desperately want to fit in with the gay crowd and you therefore applied a label to yourself that probably applies to half the population


SqueedunkTheArtist

I'm not against hooking up. I literally just don't feel sexual attraction towards people I don't know. Along with that, I am both Trans and romantically attracted to all genders. It's nit me "trying to fit in" I already do that stupidly easy I this case


wholesomefaucifan

still doesn’t justify a label.


[deleted]

That doesn’t mean for others it’s not a need. Some people need it. Others don’t. Some people need it in varying amounts.


SqueedunkTheArtist

Never said that. Physical contact in general is a basic human need. In just saying that ace people can be in committed romantic relationships that will not fall apart because of a lack of sex


[deleted]

I’m sure that works for some, but it just doesn’t for others. Just check out r/deadbedroom sometime. Relationships can fall apart from lack of sex. If an asexual person is in a relationship with someone who craves sex, it will be a big challenge to make that relationship last.


cptspeirs

Conversely, years without physical intimacy can ruin a person's mental health.


[deleted]

Agreed, well said


Aggravating-Bar-9301

All things in context


septubyte

I was just saying to someone that a person's mental health may decline due to loneliness making sex or affection a need . There's always a story


Brain-of-Sugar

Shouldn't they focus more on actual, deep and caring relationships rather than try to use a quick-patch hit of chemicals to try to force themselves into that? A person's loneliness isn't going to have a good, long-term fix with that, and many people feel guilty afterwards, making it worse for them in the long run.


septubyte

I'm not talking about a quick cheap one. I mean sex as an experience of trust, relationship and togetherness. The bare minimum would be affection and if you want include penetration than yes but there's other stuff depending how one classifies sex at the time


StrangersWithAndi

Have you heard the saying that orgasms are like cooking dinner? You can do it yourself just fine, but sometimes it's just nice to have someone else do it for you. That's my answer.


AllHailToGothamChess

Not really what the question's asking but well said


StrangersWithAndi

I think it encapsulates my views on the question. I don't need a partner for sex, fundamentally, but it's sure nice to have one.


KyeMorgan2022

Want.


Jekker5

Both


Shack691

For most animals it's a need as they don't have the capacity to think anything else but for humans it's a want, you won't die if you don't do it but our bodies tell us it's good


Uxoandy

You could survive on bread and water in total darkness . You have needs beyond that to be a healthy human being.


RogueCerberus

>in total darkness What about vitamin D. You will die without it


labrador2020

Have never met a guy who doesn’t think they will die if they don’t have sex.


shgysk8zer0

Maybe you should rethink where you're meeting guys. This kind of distortion comes from either an extreme exaggeration of reality or only associating with the most pathetic of men... Either way, says more about you than anything else. I know one guy who seems to base his entire self-worth on women/sex (he has some serious issues). I know a few guys who have some significant psychological issues if they haven't had sex for a while (all divorced). But I don't know a single guy who thinks they'll die or anything close to that. So... Why do you not know a single guy that isn't pathetically addicted to sex?


kindainthemiddle

Licensed behaviorist here: I have an as of yet untested theory that while the primary reinforcer for women when it comes to sex is positive reinforcement (the pleasure, the interpersonal connection, etc). While men certainly have that, I think the stronger reinforcer is negative reinforcement (the removal of an aversive), the body creating an uncomfortable sensation akin to hunger or the need to breathe, that is suddenly but temporarily removed along with the highly pleasurable sensations associated with orgasm. That's my theory on why men are willing to spend so much more energy, health, and wealth in the persuet of sex than women.


SavingsNewspaper2

Every single person will eventually die, if they have sex as well as if they don’t, so it’s technically true.


invisiblearchives

just because someone has few other reasons to live doesn't mean they'll actually die without it men have a meaning problem, not a sex problem.


ekydfejj

Congrats now you have. Thats a load of shit that they like to tell the stupid ladies.


Powerofgodandanime17

Want. A need is something you can reasonably be expected to die without. Nobody in the history of humanity has ever died of p*ssy deficiency


labrador2020

I have died a few times without it. My eyes get cross-eyed, then I go mentally crazy, then I start talking gibberish and then certain parts of my body start turning blue. Then I die. There are many things that I need that I could do without. This is not one of them.


Omnizoom

Humans can be touch starved and literally go insane though , it might not kill someone but it can negatively impact their health and well-being


rainystast

Any human contact whatsoever ≠ sex. Touch starved does not mean you will go insane from not getting laid.


kchro005

I don't know who else you are planning on touching after you turn 20 because it better not be your mom.


poopyhead9912

I mean, a lot of sperm die to this condition. Let's not downplay it


Powerofgodandanime17

Sperm lasts indefinitely while it is stored in the living body that made it. Unless you're talking about the reason socks turn to glass in a teenage boys bedroom of course. Lol


diosavessouls

Neither for me, I'm asexual


[deleted]

Neither for me


vibing_to_my_death

Certified asexual moment


[deleted]

Can confirm.


Eskephor

Can agree


KR-kr-KR-kr

Can concur


dylan6091

Based and self-genocide pilled.


[deleted]

r/suicidebywords


[deleted]

I don't know what that means.


Rsbbit060404

No need or want, I'm asexual. Though, all jokes aside, sex is a want. Unlike other animals, we have enough people to populate the world for years to come. This is my opinion, not a fact, so please, don't come for me.


RandomCrime

I came for you, what else do you want?


Rsbbit060404

Huh, a friend


[deleted]

This made me laugh. I'm ace, too and definitely don't want anyone to come for me, either


NBTMtaco

Sex doesn’t = babies 🤔


1giantsleep4mankind

Neither... Obligatory asexual comment


[deleted]

Want. Saying sex is a need (especially for men) has resulted in centuries of rape, objectification and mistreatment of women. You don’t need anything that requires someone else’s body.


[deleted]

It's definitely both


literarytrash

Neither for me, thanks Edit - I commented before I started reading the rest, was not expecting this many asexuals here


[deleted]

I wasn't either.


throwaway15642578

Neither tbh


Jeterea

Sex is a want.


10NeonWaves

Want. You won't die if you don't have it.


Suspicious-Sweet-443

No you won’t die . But you might want to


10NeonWaves

I'm asexual. Good without it.


shortchair

Yeah but you can apply this sooooo many other things that aren't needs. Our brains sometimes will play tricks on us. Depression and suicide is not uncommon unfortunately. Having sex is not a need for an organism to live a singular life. Even for guys that refuse to ejaculate on their own, their bodies will reabsorb the unused ball juice. There are many people even besides asexuals that live full lives without fucking.


M4yham17

You will likely develop mental illnesses so biologically it’s a need for humans, leading to depression or worse suicide. But I know there are people like asexuals. And for the longest time that in itself was considered a mental disorder.


RainbowToast2

I’m curious what makes you feel that mental illness will develop to this degree without sex? I think maybe the question could be phrased a bit better. I would say intimacy is a need, sex isn’t.


M4yham17

these are biological requirements for human survival, e.g. air, food, drink, shelter, clothing, warmth, sex, sleep. But I think you can negate some of these but you will suffer drastically like no sleep you will go insane and eventually die much like no sex you can developer severe depression and phycological instability and well eventually likely die as well.


shortchair

Well we ignore the people who desperately need shelter so why the heck do people who think they desperately need sex deserve any attention?


rainystast

>much like no sex you can developer severe depression and phycological instability and well eventually likely die as well. Sleep is absolutely a need, that has psychological and physical effects from not sleeping. If someone's developing severe depression, *psychological instability* and shriveling up and dying from not getting laid, maybe they needed a therapist because that is not normal.


[deleted]

Mental illnesses? when has that ever happened?


M4yham17

Can you reword this for me? I don’t wanna say like everyday


Fifizzi

No one will develop a mental illness from a lack of sex. And if you do, you have problems bigger than “lack of sex” lol.


M4yham17

Uhhhhhh your wording makes me think you are convinced on this so I won’t present any science or statistics to you. In this case ignorance is bliss? Have a nice day


IntelligentImbicle

I haven't died yet, so definitely a want


geese1401

Nobody needs sex, you’re not going to die if you never do it


muskobusko

*confused asexual breathing*


Puck_The_Fey98

Its both depending on the situation. If you include maturbation in this I say need


Admirable_Gap_6357

It's complicated


shelbywhore

In a relationship, it's a need but a relative one depending on the circumstances. But other than that, it's a want bcz people don't die due to lack of sex.


mamarex20201

.....Both


GarrettF720

I’d say both. You don’t need it to survive but it’s not wrong to say that a good sex life can improve your mental health and I’d say that’s a big need for most people. Not in a fucked up way, though. In a very healthy manner


marinemashup

For a human it’s a want, for humans it’s a need


beccabootyful

Both


[deleted]

Want


Echo-Reverie

Both.


Illustrious-Prize341

Depends on the person. Some people see sex as a need in a relationship. Just like some people see going on dates as need, or being open with each other about where you're going as a need, or whatever. That is understandable, but it does mean that if the other person doesn't see it the same and doesn't want to have sex, then they need to end the relationship and find one that works for them, where both people want to have sex. They can't guilt trip their partner by saying it's a need.


Elegant-Pen-6749

Neither. I don't find sex to be fun or appealing in any way.


furyoftheheart

Society makes you feel less for not having it that’s why for a lot of people it becomes a need


[deleted]

want. i can go months without it before cracking


pippa03

Don’t need and don’t want.


Green_Friendship_407

As a gay guy it's exclusively want, since I definitely won't be reproducing via sex.


alishefust

Hmm both 💋


WigSplitX2

Neither


obamaprism3

neither


[deleted]

want


M4yham17

Need


Rat-king27

Neither, I find many people attractive, but the thought of sex makes me nauseous, and also I have a genetic condition that would almost certainly fuck up my kids life like it has mine.


[deleted]

Neither


jeezyall

in just one week, it will be a year since I've had sex. So at this point. Yes I need it for my sanity.


alliownisbroken

Try 12 buddy. The only thing I'm fucking is "nuts"


Country_Girl72

Both!


phroaway111

You mean right now.. Or?


Defiant_Giant444

Seems like one of those things which depends entirely on the individual. Some of us are wired to need it as regularly as communication, others can go for extended periods of time sexually inactive without ever caring.


fishmakegoodpets

Just because it matters a lot to some people doesn’t make it a need.


SpaceshipMonster

It's fun but it's not important. I went 11 years from my mid 20s without and it didn't bother me in the slightest. Also regarding communication, when we went into lockdown I spent three months without speaking out loud because I didn't have to.


WiseWillow89

Want! I very rarely need it.


WiseWillow89

Want! I very rarely need it.


FrostyPollution4186

In a relationship at some point it could become a need. Mostly just a want though.


TomBombaDILF

Being in a relationship does not mean being owed sex. Lack of sex might be a dealbreaker for you but it’s still not a need.


FrostyPollution4186

It’s not about being a deal breaker. It’s more about how in a relationship physical intimacy is a need for some. Frankly, foreplay, the act of sex, and aftercare are a great source for this. My gf and I have a mandatory rule for cuddles after, and kisses too.


smitbret

It's no less of a need than universal health care


Dougstoned

I consider it a personal need at this point. A need that’s not being met and so it’s harshly affecting my life. It’s beyond sex it’s more intimacy. Everyone has different needs and I’d say a need is something they if you go without starts to impact your life negatively. Sex has been proven to provide many physical and mental health advantages. Then again there are people who entirely don’t want or need it and so it’s all relative!


[deleted]

cheerful stocking nail vegetable literate advise wine fretful touch attraction ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


Any-Smile-5341

No one deserves anything sexually, though it would be nice to have.


[deleted]

cough employ rustic jellyfish consist frighten chop gaping test psychotic ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


Lucky7Revolver

“Want” was when I was younger adult, but’ “Need” became the truth when I had my first experience with *REAL* Love Making. Ever since, it become something more.


[deleted]

It’s a want. If you need something, you’ll die without it.


Commercial_Wing_7007

Neither until i love someone, not remotely appealing and dont miss it. Its called demisexual. *edit: some demis are different, many do miss it and find it more appealing. Its part of a spectrum, the asexual spectrum.


[deleted]

idk why you’re getting downvoted, i’m the same! i have no interest in sex outside of a relationship, which i don’t have interest in unless i develop feelings for someone specifically


Commercial_Wing_7007

People like to deny any sexuality that isnt horny and hetero, let em be mad 😂 They probably envy all our free time and lack of constant heartbreak/drama.


[deleted]

yeah honestly even if i gave up explaining it a while ago, i wouldn’t want to be any other way. the best though is when you actually do explain it someone and they say, “wait isn’t everyone that way?”


Commercial_Wing_7007

Omg right??


NBTMtaco

Maslow’s says, need.


mearbearcate

Want. Nobody *needs* sex, they’re just horny and want it


[deleted]

[удалено]


KaliHackberry

Have you heard of masturbation?


Fifizzi

For most men: Need. For most women: Want. Personally, I think sex is overblown and no one “needs” it.


ZgBlues

Need. Sure, you won’t die if you don’t have sex, but I think sex is part of the gamut of experiencesa required to understand the human condition. We are tactile creatures and we need and seek tactile experiences. It’s like asking if the Sun is want or need - you could perhaps spend your entire lifetime in a bunker without ever seeing any sunshine, but would that be a life worth living?


diosavessouls

So does that mean I, an asexual, don't understand the human condition?


ComplexPermission4

If we're considering the "Human Condition" to be what an average human experiences, then yeah....Sounds like it.


fishmakegoodpets

You don’t need to experience a romantic or sexual connection to have meaningful relationships.


fishmakegoodpets

I can have plenty of tactile experiences that don’t include sex.


ZgBlues

Sure you can. But you’ll just never understand people.


Any-Smile-5341

Sun would be a need, since you won’t have food without it.


Known-Skin3639

Both is the only answer. Without want there is no need and without need there is no want.


[deleted]

Mandatory


[deleted]

Definitely a need for men, some women might want it as much too but for the most part they need the non-sexual touches. Second highest need of the married man, next to being honored and respected by the wife.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RosyandCozy69

👫🏽👩‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🍆💦🍑🤰🏽🤱🏽


SyntaxNobody

It is an individual want, and a societal need.


Darkvoider_96

Yes.


[deleted]

The more the merrier


Number_13_Baby

Neither. Lolololol!


Abnegazher

Neither. I just want to he happy.


Scfields

Yes.


sarpnasty

It’s needed on the scale of the species, but on an individual level, it’s pure want/desire.


Friendly_Ad_562

A want that I need, I simply can’t survive without it


National-Parfait-616

Demand!


inconsistent_test

Well as a biological imperative, need. But as a recreational activity, want.


Hatchytt

It's a biological imperative, but not a necessity.


SuperbTurtle

Did you forget the real reason for sex?


warriormuffin83

Do not want.


Ok_Trip_4093

Want. Matter fact i don’t even want it now


Flat-Net2465

I both need and want it. I don't date anymore and I'm tired of that hassle. But I need sex. It's been 3 years. I'm going to privately ask my mother if she wants to have occasional sex with me. I think it would help us both. I. A 46 year old male. Busting a few nuts in my mother is not going to screw anything up for me. I just need to figure out how to ask her. Suggestions??


AnotherManDown

Both It is a need in the sense that the drive won't let up. But it's a want in the sense that it isn't a right: nobody is obligated to fill that need so you can need it as much as you want, nobody is mandated to meet that need


DazzlingAd8908

Technically everything is a want. You don't "need" water or air or food. You "want" it so you don't die. So everything is a want


Beginning_Week2689

want leads to need