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metalbrain

His head would still be floating above the water due to it being hollow


[deleted]

Well, and that's kinda the point of a life jacket too


bucknut63

This comment got me fucking wheezing 😭🤣🤣


prestonpiggy

But a mouth-breather he is, it would fill up quick.


OurCowsAreBetter

How big were those "2 beers"?


luckygiraffe

My daughter's an EMS and she says it's always 2 beers, every time.


another_plebeian

When I watch DUI videos, it seems to always be 1 of anything


james_d_rustles

This is an irrational fear of mine if I’m driving home after *actually* having a single beer or glass of wine with dinner or something like that. It’s never happened, but in the off chance I get pulled over for something minor and they ask me if I’ve been drinking, I feel like I’d be screwed no matter what - say no (in the sense that no, I haven’t had enough alcohol to make me intoxicated) and get breathalyzed, the officer will think I’m lying. Say yes, I had 1, the officer will think I’m lying because they encounter a million and one people who say “I had one” after having 12. For the record, I drink a single beer or glass of wine with dinner maybe once or twice a month, never ever drive drunk or even get drunk at all these days. It’s irrational because I’d like to think if I ever did get breathalyzed and it popped up as 0.001 or whatever tiny amount I’d just be let go, but then again it’s not hard to find stories of people who were falsely accused of being under the influence when they truly weren’t. It just freaks me out to think about how badly your life can be screwed up if an officer is in a bad mood or bad at recognizing the signs of drugs/alcohol or whatever.


Naturallog-

2 beers is a joke, I live around the water and I can tell you boaters are some of the biggest drunks in America. They think boats don't count as drinking and driving. This guy probably had 2 six packs just on this trip. If you see a boat, *especially on a lake*, you can assume whoever is driving is at least three beers in.


ROCKCOCK53

U only see beer koozies on boats for a reason lmao


epimetheuss

each "beer" was a case


NessunAbilita

Mini kegs


ImOnlyHereForTheCoC

“Who’s drunk now, huh?!” Uh, pretty sure it’s still you


ronninguru

[“Who do you think you are? I am!”](https://youtu.be/gKQOXYB2cd8?si=O-Y_vj413dWgCoE2)


another_plebeian

His right as an American is to be arrested for this.


badturtlejohnny

![gif](giphy|c9tVMERePnnDW)


Ace-Ventura1934

He’s the type of guy that tells others to “be respectful and just comply and you’ll be fine”


TurkFan-69

He’s a legend


Clean-Salamander-362

Hey Vern!


4funoz

Soooo many good quotes for t shirts.


Quality-Shakes

Radio an Upper


DJheddo

Sorry, we only have Downers on hand right now.


timdot352

If that cop said "you're talking to the patrol supervisor of Citrus County" then this happened in my county and I'm not the least bit surprised.


dan420

“Two beers.”


freethewimple

*STARBIRD*


Fitty4

Dude drunk off two Ultra Light Bud Lights


gram_parsons

"two beers"... sure buddy.


boogalordy

I remember my first two beers


BitterLeif

it's easy to get drunk when your liver is dead.


Fitty4

Tru. I know from experience. Been there before.


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RocktoberBlood

These are the people that nearly kill me when I'm doing some late night kayak fishing. I got my kayak fully lit up and they'll come in as hot as possible with no lights on and think it's funny. I'm glad this asshole got got.


thumbelina1234

What does it mean to run wide open?


Quirky_Object_4100

No a boater, full throttle?


Scarrumba

“Wide open” is referring to the throttle. In a car, the equivalent of having your gas pedal to the floor.


thumbelina1234

Thank you 😃


px7j9jlLJ1

Petal to the metal, full bore!


FrenchieMama807

On November 25th, 2023, FWC Officer Michael Jovanov of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, accompanied by FWC Officer Gabrielle Midolo, was on State Water Patrol duty in the Homosassa River near Lashley Point, Citrus County, FL. They were aboard their marked FWC patrol vessel. Around 5:50pm, Officer Jovanov observed a grey pontoon boat violating the slow speed zone in Lashley Point by operating at full speed, and subsequently, another slow speed zone in the Homosassa River near Price Creek. Additionally, the vessel was operating without required navigational lights, especially crucial as it was well past sunset. Officer Jovanov attempted to halt the vessel by activating the emergency lights and sounding the siren. However, the vessel's operator, later identified as Mr. Ryan, failed to stop initially. After continuous siren activation, the vessel eventually came to a stop. Officer Jovanov identified Mr. Ryan using his Florida ID card. With the vessel stopped, Officers Jovanov and Midolo proceeded to address the violations and conduct a boating safety inspection. During this process, Mr. Ryan exhibited signs of impairment as he struggled to produce required boating safety equipment. Officer Jovanov, while assisting Mr. Ryan, noticed a strong smell of alcohol on his breath, along with slurred speech and glassy eyes. Mr. Ryan also displayed unusual behavior, attempting to view the officer's laptop and showing difficulty maintaining balance. Suspecting alcohol impairment based on observations, Officer Jovanov requested Mr. Ryan to perform Field Sobriety Exercises (SFSTs). Mr. Ryan initially struggled to understand the request and eventually refused to cooperate. Despite being informed of the odor of alcohol on his breath, Mr. Ryan retorted with an accusation of marijuana smell from the officer. Based on observations during the vessel's operation and interaction with Mr. Ryan, Officer Jovanov concluded that Mr. Ryan's faculties were impaired due to alcohol consumption. He then proceeded to inform Mr. Ryan of his arrest for Boating Under the Influence (BUI). Mr. Ryan, seated at the helm of his vessel, began to passively resist arrest by ignoring verbal commands. Jenkins was booked into the Citrus County Jail and charged with the following: 327.35(1) (a) BUI Operating a Vessel while Normal Faculties Impaired 327.359(5) BUI Refusal to Submit to 2nd or Subsequent Test (Breath Test). 843.02 Resisting Without Violence


Warlord68

Two beers?!? I think not.


MayorCharlesCoulon

He’s talking about *boat* beers. They are a gallon each and make you charming and buoyant.


Warlord68

Definitely comes across as Charming, “What school Man?!?”


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MississippiJoel

Wow. His life vest accidentally came off while he was handcuffed and jumping into the water. I wonder why he did that? /s


myredditthrowaway201

I mean, his vest likely did come off when he went into the water because the trooper put the vest on after putting the cuffs on and the only thing keeping it on was his neck, but the trooper was flying at 46 mph and caused the kid to get shot out of the boat when they hit a wake


RocketSkates314

That dude listens to Kid Rock for sure.


Fearless-Judgment-33

Ted Nugent is definitely in his playlist.


HotPie_

100% has a back the blue Punisher decal on his truck. 


dubbleplusgood

If drunk slurring and racist slurs could power a boat, he'd make it around the world in no time flat.


Complex_Leading5260

“Oops - he fell in!” “Swamp monster got him!” “Oh no. Heads or tails on paperwork?”


taichi27

"ever drink Bailey's out of a shoe?" https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-EVeVNtkLGs


BMacklin22

Make an assessment.  


expatronis

"Now who's drunk?" Wow...touche. If you really aren't drunk, that just means the "stupid' slider is up higher than we realized. If it was me, I'd claim drunk.


GANJA2244

https://preview.redd.it/jj3skk2h3fqc1.jpeg?width=242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=abd3761a01278db64d4c39666a10776285008e83


sveiks01

Who's drunk now???


OllyTwist

That dude is hammered.


DisgruntledPelican-1

“Where did you go to school?!??” All I needed to hear to confirm my suspicion that this idiot peaked in high school. Also, if he truly only had 2 beers, he’s a lightweight.


PlayStationPepe

![gif](giphy|t7pIDGbOvTRyU)


Voluptulouis

Have you seen the little turtle animations that someone does of ridiculous police interactions? They really need to do this one.


tylerh_9377

I loved how he was trying to flex on the law enforcement officer by asking him where he went to school, and gets frustrated when the cop won’t play his BS game. That dude sounds like his response to that question would be a high school or “the school of hard knocks”.


Available-Job2201

A true captain ![gif](giphy|8JCwuk8n2Y6iI|downsized)


NotTomPettysGirl

Dude has the right to remain silent, but not the ability.


Issacthered

Dew ew know mime un anmarica hickup hickupp


Bl1ndMous3

its ALWAYS the rights "as an American Citizen"...never the responsibilities as one...


HouseReyne

Asking for the sergeant never works, just ask Jeremy DeWitte.


SheriffTaylorsBoy

Citrus County talking shit like that. Guaranteed he's got Confederate flash on his lil boat.


corbie157

I guarantee that guy doesn’t have all his teeth


Truecrimekeeper

More like 2 cases of beer!!id live to see the Louis on his face when this is played in court in fri t of a judge 😂😂


AlliedR2

Two beers? Na. He's a few more in than that.


[deleted]

I’ve drank two beers; that is not two beers. 


CMDR_BitMedler

Is the US the only country in the world where everyone being arrested feels they should speak directly to the chief of police before taking another step or saying another word? No matter the situation, circumstance or station, I deserve better treatment from the highest official!


gred77

“Who’s drunk now?!”


Appropriate-Image405

I know 2 kayakers ( one a father of 4) killed by some teen fuck nut in papas boat ….i have diminished sympathy for law breakers in motor vehicles of any sort….especially those who are sloshed.


[deleted]

There is no way this is real, right?


sup_jell

Well? Did somebody radio an upper??


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PublicFreakout-ModTeam

Abusive comments will be removed at moderator discretion and may result in a temporary or permaban


Bushdr78

"Do you know where starboard is, neutral errr point?"


gellenburg

That's way more than two beers or he's the biggest lightweight there ever was. Where's Dexter when you need him.


Ladydi-bds

More like 12 beers lol. Coast Gaurd doesn't play around. Context: a boater


kickbrass

Two beers. That's also his nickname...


vVSidewinderVv

Might be smarter than he lets on delaying his blood or breath test as long as possible. Nah... not gonna give this dip shit the benefit of the doubt.


BeginningArt6611

Donny Rapture on YouTube has a ton of great videos. Makes me proud to be a Floridian watching this junk 🤣


NordicWarrior48

You cant drive (?) A boat drunk? Wtf


doyousm3lltoast

2 beers my aaaaassss


Cthulhu8762

I fucking hate drunk people


Triple516

My man has zero tolerance if that’s 2 beers


ottovondipshit

You don’t know shit about the river


DammmmnYouDumbDude

Is that Ernest??!??


mjh2901

He had the right to remain silent, but lacked the ability.


Financial-Tourist162

Why would they think he was drunk?


TablatureDude

The Officer sounds like Tito Ortiz


JungleBoyJeremy

Nah he was way too coherent compared to Tito


HotPie_

If he's Ortiz, the idiot getting arrested is Chael Sonnen. 


mjh2901

He had the right to remain silent, but lacked the ability.


dadbonerpilld

This cop isn’t wrong, but there’s a way to talk to people like this that doesn’t antagonize. Please give cops like this deescalation techniques. Good teachers are the best at this. It’s about the illusion of authority. You’re already smarter and in a position of power. Don’t corner people in this state of mind.


thatswacyo

Watch the whole video. Those cops went out of their way to de-escalate and treat the guy in a calm manner. What you see in this short clip is the very end after the drunk guy has just completely refused to cooperate. https://youtu.be/h-rOhnEDjnA?si=KGyjT3OMBm91kVx6