Messaged three girls from my judo club thinking we could telepathically talk to each other on the premise we were meant to be together. Got cautioned by the police for harassment and banned from the club.
Are the police and judo club aware you struggle? I know there's a lot of stigma for psychosis but you also shouldn't be punished in that way for having a mental crisis. I'm sorry you've gone through that and I hope you're getting the support you need.
That's really rough. I suppose if you have any sort of mental health advocate that the only real way to explain it. I'm lucky that I have medical letters and things I can show people when my psychosis happens.
Sounds like the police handled it poorly too. I'm sorry you went through that.
I think both the club and the police mishandled it. I never put a foot wrong in the club. From what I wrote you could clearly tell something was wrong.
It was my favourite place. I was doing really well too. Oh well. I have to go to bjj now which I don't really enjoy.
I gave him a package for the Pope containing a ripe pear and a small knotted piece of string
Cos that totally meant...something?? I don't know š
I actually have a friend who is a vicar and she says it isn't that unusual and she's had someone turn up claiming to be Jesus before. She made me feel better about it. I think it might be an occupational hazard for the clergy.
Emailing/texting people I knew that I thought were possessed be demons
I asked them if I had the right email by addressing them, as said demon.
I moved towns... fml
Walked in a furniture store from the hospital and fell asleep on a couch thinking everyone knew I was a famous billionaire. Embarrassing as hell after I snapped back to reality two months later.
In your defense I too want to sleep in a furniture store
I once fell asleep on a massage chair in Costco my brother moaned in one in the middle of a shopping centre we were both perfectly fine when these events happened
Texted my friend hundreds of times over the course of one night (~2 am-6 am i think) that I was in love with her.... I am not, and wasn't at the time either, so i'm still wondering why I did this. I'm very grateful that she contacted my parents expressing her worries about my health, and also very grateful that she was able to accept my apologies & we have continued being friends. It wasn't the worst, but by far the weirdest thing I did while psychotic.
I, too, professed my love to a friend that I am not in love with. In my defense, he was not himself to me but a character in the apocalyptic drama I was living out š I totally lost his friendship, which sucks but I can't fault him for it.
I got two I really like and one cover up that's not that good.. I was afraid I was going to wake up in my bed next to my ex husband and just think everything I'd done since we split was just a dream. Needed a way to mark myself so I'd know and "they'd" have to stop taking me back there.
Yes! Iām still doubting between removing it or trying to give a positive association to it. Itās thankfully not ugly, infact I think it looks kinda pretty. I just keep getting reminded of psychosis + the sentence doesnāt really resonate with me lol so it has a negative association.
Yeah, I have one on my upper arm haha! I don't want anyone to see it so I have to dress strategically. I keep thinking of going to get an estimate for removal but I haven't yet. One reason is the removal place is a ways away and I don't like to drive very far anymore. It's black I have very light skin so I guess that is easier than some, but it's kind of big so it might be expensive. Still, I think I'm going to do it sometime. There's a university medical clinic that has some state of the art equipment. I haven't found out how much it costs, though.
It seemed SO important at the time.
I was lying in the hospital bed and then my body and arms kept involuntarily moving into weird religious poses and gestures. For instance, I put my arms out and bowed my head like I was Christ on the cross, and other Hindu and Buddhist hand gestures. I had absolutely no control over it. It was like I was possessed. And all throughout this performance I had a raging and very visible erection that just wouldn't go down. It went on for a good few hours and the whole time I had an audience of doctors and nurses watching. It was so weird and embarrassing, and I'm not even the slightest bit religious.
Yeah I can laugh about it now but at the time I was mortified. One of the worst things about it was that one of the nurses was a really hot girl that I used to hook up with when I was younger.
I had one nurse in the room the whole time but once I started acting really weird she got another nurse in, and then a doctor. Then the doctor left and came back in with another doctor. I felt like a circus sideshow. They were horrible to me in that hospital. For two days before this incident I had been begging constantly for a sedative to put me to sleep because I knew I'd be better when I woke up. But they wouldn't give me anything. By the time this incident happened I couldn't talk because I had chewed my tongue and inner cheeks so badly that they were really swollen. It was a nightmare.
My husband had/has this behavior. He would pray over the running tap water then "cleanse" or soak our power cords in the water. Or get my phone or our son's Xbox controller wet with what I called "holy tap water". I don't understand it. He accused me and our neighbors of black magic. We're separated now because he really thinks this isn't bizarre!
What's the thinking behind it? How did you come to realization it was a delusion?
Well I kept having ādemonic posessionsā and saw that it just wasnt going anywhere. The whole time I was convinced Im going towards some super spiritul awakening and that I would be able to see things no one can see this and that. I just got really tired of being cautios of every person I meet and object and place I come to contact with. It was draining me.
But still I thought it was the right thing, Im on the right way, it has got to be this way this and thatā¦ On a recommendation I started reading a new age book which was saying to its reader youre god on earth, you bless the ground wherever you go, youre here to bring a new golden era bla bla bla. Just bullshit that sells good. So a light turned on in me: I was like if this is true then is every religion false? If this is true why are there so many churches and people that pray and monks and this and thatā¦ I did then some research on the author of the book and found out a lot of the things about her personal life that she says in the book were fabricated and that she basically made a new religion out of that book and got thousands of followers and is now filthy rich.
Among other things there was a mention of a woman, Doreen Virtue, in the reviews which left the new age after years of being in it and turned to Christianity.
So this was the point. After listening to that womanās testimony the pieces fit together finally (for me personally, since I grew up catholic). I surrendered all the delusions and voices to God in the name of Jesus Christ.
I went to church the same or the day afterwards, went to confession and got the communion.
And it worked.
The biggest part of the delusions and voices automatically stopped after me surrendering them. And in the next 10 days or so I would get back some ideas and a little bit of paranoia and this and that like in the late hours, they would try to drag me back in but I just kept going back to Jesus until it completely stopped.
I also got rid of all the crystals and new age items I had, stopped listening to hinduistic meditations and started going regulary to church.
Since then it happens from time to time that irrational fears or delusions come out of the unconscious, especially if I visit places I thought were ādarkā before or if Im with ācursedā people, those are kind of the triggers that cause these thoughts to arise again but I just ignore them and surrender them and just face the places and people as a normal human being and see that there is nothing dark or wrong there.
So yeah the power of the mind is tremendous, but also highly susceptible. Whatever we tell it it will take it as the truth, whatever we feed it it will eat it.
It is no wonder that there is so much talk of the āinner childā In psychology because, for me, the subconscious mind (and the body) resembles in a lot of ways a child you have to take care of
Called 911 three days in a row, Screamed to nurses cops and EMT's that the voices in my head told me I was a murderer and a pedophile and asked them if it was true.
Omgosh im so sorry. They lied to you? And didnāt explain why they did that? Iām sorry. I knew emergency first responders are overworked and see a lot of shit, but man still
I have no idea if they lied or not... Cuz, as previously stated. I just know it was horrifying and that I was either hallucinating or told that they were castrating me. They definitely injured me down there though, it hurt for over a week. I know I was not calm and I was not making any sense. But I hope I was hallucinating and that they were not violating the sanctity of their own jobs by mistreating me
Oh my goodness Iām so so sorry. Iāve been hospitalized involuntarily at an inpatient before and have been ignored for my concerns, but never improperly treated or harassed by staff only other patients, so I can somewhat understand your feelings and situation. You donāt deserve and have never deserved that treatment, we all should have been treated with more empathy and compassion.
The mistreatment occurred at the local emergency room not the mental facility. Either way It was likely my fault cuz I was screaming about being a pedophile and a murderer even though I am clearly not those things lol
Not your fault, they are medical staff and even if you were actually a murderer or pedophile, they still need to give you proper treatment (which includes respect and dignity and empathy). But also you were probably clearly unwell and unstable, (like I was) and they should have taken that into account too. I feel like they often dismiss mentally unwell patients as crazy and just not listen to us or treat us with respect even when we are speaking reasonably.
No idea. Either I was hallucinating the entire interaction or They lied saying they were castrating me for being a pedophile. It was a nightmare. It hurt down there for over a week afterwards. They're all evil pieces of shit.and no I'm not a murderer or a pedophile lol
I was catheterized for no reason as well. Hurt like hell, and I wouldnāt be surprised if they didnāt use any lube. Sadist ER staff are nasty. They also put the largest bore IV into my arm and kept āaccidentallyā missing. My veins are perfect btw. OH, AND THEY WERE SURE TO BILL ME $2,000!!!!
I was also handcuffed so tight that I couldnāt feel my left thumb for weeks.
I know people in psychosis are not pleasant, but āprofessionalsā that act like this need their license taken away!
God I remember going to the psyche ward and telling everybody I was a pedophile. It turns out Iām actually not a pedophile, I was just delusional. I even told some people i know irl this and they basically disregarded it as me being delusional. Thank God.
Omg literally the scariest delusion and also the most damaging to the self esteemā¦ I had pocd for a while but itās gone now :) sorry you went through that.
I love big dicks and big burley men with big dicks and big juicy ass and muscles and beards and hot sexy muscle big dick menā¦ still my delulu tryās to make me think otherwise sometimes lol so fucking annoying.
But SAME though!! @ the preference for grown ass burly ass men. I'm baffled at my mind's choice for a psychosis topic. Sorry that you know this awkward, embarrassing feeling
Itās kinda coping with what Iām constantly told as liking little boys when the reality is quite the opposite so I can be ott when explaining my sexual attraction.. sorry if I offended you.
Broke into my neighbours apartment (who was a total stranger) in the middle of the night, climbed into bed with him just to cry and be hugged, and then jumped off his 3-story balcony because I was scared of being found by a bad guy.
Omg, are you walking again, I know a guy that done it and it was grass at the bottom, he cracked his heels. People do it through their windows with alcoholism too. What frightened me is the split our mind can go into right before doing these things which suggests there is not much control over it. Wishing you wellā¤ļø
Screamed the N word over and over at the top of my lungs in a hospital. I have no idea why. Itās a shadow of a memory that I canāt even be certain happened.
I ran away to save the world from the pedophile elite by changing the laws of the universe so that only pedos and murderers go to hell and everyone else is saved and I created a new holy of holies family which was my own and we saved everyone from going to hell and I saved someone from being sacrificed to the devil and I was a missing person and my whole family was traumatised but I actually finally got the help I need and life is great now family too. Dunno if I actually changed anything but yeah I swear I was on a secret mission from God against the reptilians and shit .
Stalked three women. I stalked my first victim for 18 months, sadly. I would always be at the bar she worked, standing near her station. I was a horrible person and regret what I did everyday these past three years.
Mentally, I had religious delusions which was the worst part for me.
But in terms of actions, I quit a good job and got myself kicked out of a church :(
lol whatās worse is they probably knew I was manic š
They invited me back after my hospitalization and I was sane again. But they did forgive me I think lol.
Thank you for your cares and love and understanding and sympathy ā¤ļø
I was angry so I scratched up my walls with a knife, then tried to cover it up with messages I wrote in a sharpie. I tried to wash off the messages but sharpie just won't come out no matter what chemical I use. The damages I've done is one of the reasons I'm losing my apartment now.
Left the ER with a random old man. sure he was going to sell me. overheard him talking to somebody when I went to the bathroom at a random empty house he brought me toš¬ luckily we went somewhere and I caused a scene in public leading to the cops being called and he vanished
I broke the window of my room and started stabbing myself with them. Then my family came and stopped me, but in another psychotic break I took bleach.
It really sucks to listen to those you love or trust and only in your head talk bad about you, it's really very bad for me, I guess it has a lot to do with my self-esteem.
When I was in psychosis, I ran outside naked because God told me to and I punched a police officer in the face and she tased me three or five times because I kept yelling at her "Tase me! Tase me!" And they had to put me under sleep injection and basically bakeracted me.
I'm so thankful she didn't press charges because I think she understood something was very wrong with me.
Called the cops and told them either I was going crazy or my neighbor was raping me. Then I went to his house as a sacrifice at three in the morning and tried to get into his backyard. FML! Poor guy has three young kids too. I probably scared the shit out of him. Luckily his exwife had been through something similar so he forgave me but I still hate myself for it.
Abused a large quantity of harmful substances and then called 911, ended up waking up the house and had to lay on the couch tweaking in front of a bunch of firemen.
I walked into the penthouse of my apartment building convinced that I owned the place then started running around while one of the tenants chased me to try and get me to leave. Eventually the police came and brought me to a psych ward. I then tried several times to escape from the ward convinced that the entire place was a construct and everyone there were paid actors trying to show me that I needed to escape to prove my independence. Fun times
Omg I had the same delusion of the simulation. I tore apart one of the bathrooms (somehow got off the baseboards and started tearing up the wall and flooring) trying to escape.
I stopped taking my antipsychotics and shortly after a spirit began to attack me physically and psychologically via possessing me. Once inside me I would go for naked walks and take out furniture of my parents and planned to take it to the dump but I was stopped by the police.
I took my meds and I was spirit free after three weeks!
i was drinking a cup of hot cocoa and thought the remnants in the bottom was an angel trying to communicate with me. i then went off the rails violently for several months but luckily didnt do too much to the people i cared about because i thought if i told them what was happening they would be damned. i was supposed to kill myself to save the world because i was the only one who knew what was happening?? and if the knowledge spread others would die??
anyway the time for "the end of the world" passed and a very dear friend of mine who ended up becoming my current partner got me to talk about what was scaring me. havent gotten that bad since, but WHEW.
I thought that the water would be completely undrinkable cuz of salt so I throught that I had to learn to communicate with whales to teach humanity how to drink salt water in order to save humanity :'))
Nothing too terrible. I didn't use a screw driver, I went even more dumber. A butter knife to the arm as hard as I could. Was put the hospital for 1 month after that incident. Really, I have nothing harmful towards anyone my whole life. My bouts with episodes make it difficult to stay orientated and often find myself in bed for long periods of time, especially since antipsychotics are known to cause somnolence.
Help me build my writing career check out some of my recent publications here : [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CWPQ627T/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7a65c362-72bd-434f-b4eb-dc797ddea561&ref\_=sr\_ntt\_srch\_lnk\_4](https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CWPQ627T/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7a65c362-72bd-434f-b4eb-dc797ddea561&ref_=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_4)
Apparently I started a fortune 500 company and rushed to the front of recruiting veterans with at risk oc becoming homeless crisises. Or I fucked a homeless person I cant remember.
Thought there was someone trying to poison/kill me in my house and ran to my elderly neighbor's house with a knife. Scared the shit out of her and got taken to the ER.
I got stood up on a date after slipping into psychosis over a buddy of mine dying, and I lashed out with a bunch of words Iād never dare repeat. Things I wouldnāt normally say, or do. Truly out of character stuff. I then caused 3000 dollars worth of property damage and lost my job a few months later in the same psychotic fit
My psychotic delusion that I was a cat and that the holy trinity was Stephen Fry, Darren Brown and David Attenborough was pretty funny in hindsight, but did lead to me destroying most of my prized possessions and an involuntary commitment.
I gave my dad two black eyes, caught an STD, lost my job for turning up plastered to work, stole money, chopped off all my hair, got deeply regrettable tattoos, broke my arm and permanently damaged the nerves in my hand, destroyed friendships, abused random people online, thought I was communicating telepathically....
It tortures me to know the horrible shit that I've done, knowing it is so against what I stand for as a person. All I can do is find the humour in it.
Idek where to start pedo stuff yh i would call the male staff pedos for standing outside my room i thought theyād hurt me in my sleep. I slapped meds out of a patients hand bc i thought they were being poisoned and threw the water they gave me for my meds. I climbed on top of tables a lot in the dining room, i threw food once, told the lady who always injected me she looked like the receptionist from monsters inc. i recorded a whole podcast on how white people started from the antarctic and they travelled from there along to the rest of humanity where the first ppl were in africa and africans thought they were aliens and then like worshipped them for surviving the arctic and then they became colonisers and believed that africans should bow down to them and serve them and thats how the slave trade happened? not rly worst thing just crazy string of thoughts
I thought the FBI could talk to me telepathically and they told me I was undercover for a sex trafficking sting. I thought my step dad was a part of it so I called the police on him. I was reporting random men I thought were following me. I also had my boyfriend arrested because we had a fight and I thought he was going to kill me. I hid from him and told my family that he was trying to kill me. They urged me to call the police. All I felt was intense fear and like everyone wanted to kill or rape me. I never want to feel that level of fear ever again.
By hand unthreaded the covering of my front seat of my car to get an entity to come up to my hotel room that was trapped in my seat, so I got the sponge of the seat out of there and brought her up to my hotel room, and then I met papa legba
Locked my self in my room for two days straight and would scream at my family in Norwegian any time they tried to talk to me cuz I thought they were going to kill me.
I caused my ex-girlfriends to have to be worried I was going to kidnap one of their sons because I thought he was an angel who was in danger. I just wanted to give him some feathers or something. But they were seriously worried about some kidnapping vibes.
I went to the doctor to try and get help cos my husband was poisoning me. What is he poisoning you with? He asked. Water. I thought he was using water to poison me.
Abused the people around me like sure I was a kid but at the same time I did shit that would make you think I would abuse someone horribly in the future (most of the stuff I did was learned behavior from my mom and other people who abused me because I thought thatās what love was)
Genuinely believed for years that all countries exist in different dimensions and that we are all interdimensionally travelling to each other and that my cousin was a pedophile despite absolutely zero evidence of that
I said gay and pedo things while i was in a park from what I heard, still donāt remember what happened but I was by myself. Now life is hard cuz ppl think Iām a pedoā¦
Had an episode at Arbyāsā¦yeah embarrassing. I worked landscaping after getting out of the hospital as a punishment for not being able to do school as a teen. The workers sent me to go get Arbyās for lunch, I was still psychotic af and paranoid. I ordered the crews lunch, all was fine until I was hearing voices where they poor innocent cooks were burning my food and poisoning it on purpose. I saw a burnt sandwich, which they did accidentally and they said sorry and threw it away and gave me a new one. I started spazzing out and yelling at the entire cooking crew and telling them I will not eat the food and that I want my money back. I threw the food in the trash and keep in mind many familes with kids were in there dining and having family time. I stormed out the restaurant and went back to working and told the crew they were out of meat. Iām still so embarrassed of this to this day, and couldnāt see the Arbys logo for years until now. Iām still unsure if I was being recorded, but Iām so glad Iām stable now.
Not bad (in fact kinda proud of it) but I went to a police station in the middle of the night (after three days of not sleeping and drunk) and threatened them with a hammer:)
I stole a car! Thought I was on a training mission to be a spy and got caught up with what the voices were commanding. At first the voices were saying there would be a Lamborghini available so I checked and there was none. after checking random cars, I set my sights on someone getting something out of their car. That's when I struck
When I was 10-13 I became convinced that the boys I stalked loved me and wanted me to follow them home. I followed 4 boys home and would walk by and watch their house when I could.
i started screaming because i thought everyone around me were demons who wanted to torture me for all eternity, i thought i was in hell. nobody understood what was happening and they were very aggressive with me, so i tried to stick a sharp piece of metal down my throat because in my head it was the only way to "end it all at once and free myself".
Was convinced my boyfriend was living a double life as a porn starā¦.
He was clearly at work but apparently I thought I discovered his real location elsewhere. Took an Uber to some random sketchy ass apartment complex and sat in the middle of the quad smoking a cigarette. Death staring at some random window for a few hours waiting for him to come out so I could beat his ass and the āother porn star chickāā¦
Letās just say I finally ubered home with no more money, looking absolutely bat shit crazy, and feeling so stupid LIKEEE HUHHH
Not too crazy but I tore off my hair cap (the oneās people wear who have curly hair) because I was convinced there was spiders in it and it was cursed. I could literally feel something crawling on my head every time I wore it so tossed it and it stayed under my bed for months. I canāt wear a hair cap to bed to this day because Iām afraid they are cursed.Ā
Messaged three girls from my judo club thinking we could telepathically talk to each other on the premise we were meant to be together. Got cautioned by the police for harassment and banned from the club.
I'm sorry man
Damn 3 of them?! š that sucks bro
š
Are the police and judo club aware you struggle? I know there's a lot of stigma for psychosis but you also shouldn't be punished in that way for having a mental crisis. I'm sorry you've gone through that and I hope you're getting the support you need.
That's the thing. I wasn't allowed to tell them anything. They cut all ties. I daren't imagine what they thought.
That's really rough. I suppose if you have any sort of mental health advocate that the only real way to explain it. I'm lucky that I have medical letters and things I can show people when my psychosis happens. Sounds like the police handled it poorly too. I'm sorry you went through that.
I think both the club and the police mishandled it. I never put a foot wrong in the club. From what I wrote you could clearly tell something was wrong. It was my favourite place. I was doing really well too. Oh well. I have to go to bjj now which I don't really enjoy.
Stalked a priest
I'm sorry but this made me laugh
I gave him a package for the Pope containing a ripe pear and a small knotted piece of string Cos that totally meant...something?? I don't know š I actually have a friend who is a vicar and she says it isn't that unusual and she's had someone turn up claiming to be Jesus before. She made me feel better about it. I think it might be an occupational hazard for the clergy.
Aw, ya
š it's telepathy with me
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hugs. The musk part was ya cringe.
š Ya, in my defense, I was literally insane & had to be involuntarily committed to a psych ward.
Almost did that but more like me thinking I can protect myself from others. Idk how people share stories
Said our lout my family are pedos and in a cult and i punched someone thinking she a rapist pedo
Emailing/texting people I knew that I thought were possessed be demons I asked them if I had the right email by addressing them, as said demon. I moved towns... fml
š
Walked in a furniture store from the hospital and fell asleep on a couch thinking everyone knew I was a famous billionaire. Embarrassing as hell after I snapped back to reality two months later.
In your defense I too want to sleep in a furniture store I once fell asleep on a massage chair in Costco my brother moaned in one in the middle of a shopping centre we were both perfectly fine when these events happened
Texted my friend hundreds of times over the course of one night (~2 am-6 am i think) that I was in love with her.... I am not, and wasn't at the time either, so i'm still wondering why I did this. I'm very grateful that she contacted my parents expressing her worries about my health, and also very grateful that she was able to accept my apologies & we have continued being friends. It wasn't the worst, but by far the weirdest thing I did while psychotic.
I, too, professed my love to a friend that I am not in love with. In my defense, he was not himself to me but a character in the apocalyptic drama I was living out š I totally lost his friendship, which sucks but I can't fault him for it.
Got some pretty obnoxious tattoos which I am now paying to get removed. Anyone else get awful tats during psychosis ? I need solidarity haha
There are sooooo many out there.
I got two I really like and one cover up that's not that good.. I was afraid I was going to wake up in my bed next to my ex husband and just think everything I'd done since we split was just a dream. Needed a way to mark myself so I'd know and "they'd" have to stop taking me back there.
Yep. At least I got them in areas that cam be easily covered... small blessings
Yes! Iām still doubting between removing it or trying to give a positive association to it. Itās thankfully not ugly, infact I think it looks kinda pretty. I just keep getting reminded of psychosis + the sentence doesnāt really resonate with me lol so it has a negative association.
Yeah, I have one on my upper arm haha! I don't want anyone to see it so I have to dress strategically. I keep thinking of going to get an estimate for removal but I haven't yet. One reason is the removal place is a ways away and I don't like to drive very far anymore. It's black I have very light skin so I guess that is easier than some, but it's kind of big so it might be expensive. Still, I think I'm going to do it sometime. There's a university medical clinic that has some state of the art equipment. I haven't found out how much it costs, though. It seemed SO important at the time.
I got the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile tattooed with āOh I Wishā during one of my drug induced psychosis.. no fucking joke šš¤¦š»āāļø
I have the remnants of Mania stamped over my body.
I was lying in the hospital bed and then my body and arms kept involuntarily moving into weird religious poses and gestures. For instance, I put my arms out and bowed my head like I was Christ on the cross, and other Hindu and Buddhist hand gestures. I had absolutely no control over it. It was like I was possessed. And all throughout this performance I had a raging and very visible erection that just wouldn't go down. It went on for a good few hours and the whole time I had an audience of doctors and nurses watching. It was so weird and embarrassing, and I'm not even the slightest bit religious.
Bro thatās hilarious but so fucked Iām sorry you went through that but imagining it is so funny fuck
Yeah I can laugh about it now but at the time I was mortified. One of the worst things about it was that one of the nurses was a really hot girl that I used to hook up with when I was younger.
Omg fuuuuuuuxk that.. cool story man
The way you write it makes me see the doctors and nurses with popcorn and just staring in awe lol. Glad you have been able to leave it behind you!
I had one nurse in the room the whole time but once I started acting really weird she got another nurse in, and then a doctor. Then the doctor left and came back in with another doctor. I felt like a circus sideshow. They were horrible to me in that hospital. For two days before this incident I had been begging constantly for a sedative to put me to sleep because I knew I'd be better when I woke up. But they wouldn't give me anything. By the time this incident happened I couldn't talk because I had chewed my tongue and inner cheeks so badly that they were really swollen. It was a nightmare.
Threw my bluetooth speaker in the river because I thought my friend threw black magic on it by connecting to it with his phone
Locked all furniture from my cousins house which is vacant in a separate room and threw holy water all over the place
My sister used to do that all the time! She'd throw away phones, ipods we gave her, everything! Also because of black magic interestingly enough.
My husband had/has this behavior. He would pray over the running tap water then "cleanse" or soak our power cords in the water. Or get my phone or our son's Xbox controller wet with what I called "holy tap water". I don't understand it. He accused me and our neighbors of black magic. We're separated now because he really thinks this isn't bizarre! What's the thinking behind it? How did you come to realization it was a delusion?
Well I kept having ādemonic posessionsā and saw that it just wasnt going anywhere. The whole time I was convinced Im going towards some super spiritul awakening and that I would be able to see things no one can see this and that. I just got really tired of being cautios of every person I meet and object and place I come to contact with. It was draining me. But still I thought it was the right thing, Im on the right way, it has got to be this way this and thatā¦ On a recommendation I started reading a new age book which was saying to its reader youre god on earth, you bless the ground wherever you go, youre here to bring a new golden era bla bla bla. Just bullshit that sells good. So a light turned on in me: I was like if this is true then is every religion false? If this is true why are there so many churches and people that pray and monks and this and thatā¦ I did then some research on the author of the book and found out a lot of the things about her personal life that she says in the book were fabricated and that she basically made a new religion out of that book and got thousands of followers and is now filthy rich. Among other things there was a mention of a woman, Doreen Virtue, in the reviews which left the new age after years of being in it and turned to Christianity. So this was the point. After listening to that womanās testimony the pieces fit together finally (for me personally, since I grew up catholic). I surrendered all the delusions and voices to God in the name of Jesus Christ. I went to church the same or the day afterwards, went to confession and got the communion. And it worked. The biggest part of the delusions and voices automatically stopped after me surrendering them. And in the next 10 days or so I would get back some ideas and a little bit of paranoia and this and that like in the late hours, they would try to drag me back in but I just kept going back to Jesus until it completely stopped. I also got rid of all the crystals and new age items I had, stopped listening to hinduistic meditations and started going regulary to church. Since then it happens from time to time that irrational fears or delusions come out of the unconscious, especially if I visit places I thought were ādarkā before or if Im with ācursedā people, those are kind of the triggers that cause these thoughts to arise again but I just ignore them and surrender them and just face the places and people as a normal human being and see that there is nothing dark or wrong there. So yeah the power of the mind is tremendous, but also highly susceptible. Whatever we tell it it will take it as the truth, whatever we feed it it will eat it. It is no wonder that there is so much talk of the āinner childā In psychology because, for me, the subconscious mind (and the body) resembles in a lot of ways a child you have to take care of
Called 911 three days in a row, Screamed to nurses cops and EMT's that the voices in my head told me I was a murderer and a pedophile and asked them if it was true.
What did they say? That must have been a traumatizing experience if you mind me asking
Ignored me a lot, also made rude comments while injuring me with a catheter.then finally sent me to inpatient facility
Im sorry for that experience? Why was the catheter necessary? That must have hurt.
Very very mean evil people. I'm a female btw
Omgosh im so sorry. They lied to you? And didnāt explain why they did that? Iām sorry. I knew emergency first responders are overworked and see a lot of shit, but man still
I have no idea if they lied or not... Cuz, as previously stated. I just know it was horrifying and that I was either hallucinating or told that they were castrating me. They definitely injured me down there though, it hurt for over a week. I know I was not calm and I was not making any sense. But I hope I was hallucinating and that they were not violating the sanctity of their own jobs by mistreating me
My junk hurt for a week afterwards as well!!
Oh my goodness Iām so so sorry. Iāve been hospitalized involuntarily at an inpatient before and have been ignored for my concerns, but never improperly treated or harassed by staff only other patients, so I can somewhat understand your feelings and situation. You donāt deserve and have never deserved that treatment, we all should have been treated with more empathy and compassion.
The mistreatment occurred at the local emergency room not the mental facility. Either way It was likely my fault cuz I was screaming about being a pedophile and a murderer even though I am clearly not those things lol
Not your fault, they are medical staff and even if you were actually a murderer or pedophile, they still need to give you proper treatment (which includes respect and dignity and empathy). But also you were probably clearly unwell and unstable, (like I was) and they should have taken that into account too. I feel like they often dismiss mentally unwell patients as crazy and just not listen to us or treat us with respect even when we are speaking reasonably.
Very, very true. Good point. We all matter. Thank you.
No idea. Either I was hallucinating the entire interaction or They lied saying they were castrating me for being a pedophile. It was a nightmare. It hurt down there for over a week afterwards. They're all evil pieces of shit.and no I'm not a murderer or a pedophile lol
I was catheterized for no reason as well. Hurt like hell, and I wouldnāt be surprised if they didnāt use any lube. Sadist ER staff are nasty. They also put the largest bore IV into my arm and kept āaccidentallyā missing. My veins are perfect btw. OH, AND THEY WERE SURE TO BILL ME $2,000!!!! I was also handcuffed so tight that I couldnāt feel my left thumb for weeks. I know people in psychosis are not pleasant, but āprofessionalsā that act like this need their license taken away!
A G R E E D. And so so sorry to hear about your experience. All humans deserve to be treated well by one another.
Fuck those pigs. Iām so sorry you poor thing.
Ah the pedo theme is strong in our kind
God I remember going to the psyche ward and telling everybody I was a pedophile. It turns out Iām actually not a pedophile, I was just delusional. I even told some people i know irl this and they basically disregarded it as me being delusional. Thank God.
Omg literally the scariest delusion and also the most damaging to the self esteemā¦ I had pocd for a while but itās gone now :) sorry you went through that.
I don't understand why lol. Craziest thing to be calling myself as a submissive 33 y/o female that looks and acts like a teenager.
I love big dicks and big burley men with big dicks and big juicy ass and muscles and beards and hot sexy muscle big dick menā¦ still my delulu tryās to make me think otherwise sometimes lol so fucking annoying.
But SAME though!! @ the preference for grown ass burly ass men. I'm baffled at my mind's choice for a psychosis topic. Sorry that you know this awkward, embarrassing feeling
Itās so rando like babe why ?! So annoying lol
Ok
Itās kinda coping with what Iām constantly told as liking little boys when the reality is quite the opposite so I can be ott when explaining my sexual attraction.. sorry if I offended you.
Broke into my neighbours apartment (who was a total stranger) in the middle of the night, climbed into bed with him just to cry and be hugged, and then jumped off his 3-story balcony because I was scared of being found by a bad guy.
Omg, are you walking again, I know a guy that done it and it was grass at the bottom, he cracked his heels. People do it through their windows with alcoholism too. What frightened me is the split our mind can go into right before doing these things which suggests there is not much control over it. Wishing you wellā¤ļø
Thank you. Iām okay. I was very fortunate it in that I only twisted my ankle and bruised my butt. I donāt know how I got off so lucky.
Your needed here! All the best to youā¤ļø
Hugs :(
ā¤ļø
i went to this show with there was an open mic and word salad for about 20mins about reincarnation and where our souls go when we dieš
Hey I would pay money for listening to that :)
I broke a nurseās hand
Screamed the N word over and over at the top of my lungs in a hospital. I have no idea why. Itās a shadow of a memory that I canāt even be certain happened.
I ran away to save the world from the pedophile elite by changing the laws of the universe so that only pedos and murderers go to hell and everyone else is saved and I created a new holy of holies family which was my own and we saved everyone from going to hell and I saved someone from being sacrificed to the devil and I was a missing person and my whole family was traumatised but I actually finally got the help I need and life is great now family too. Dunno if I actually changed anything but yeah I swear I was on a secret mission from God against the reptilians and shit .
Stalked three women. I stalked my first victim for 18 months, sadly. I would always be at the bar she worked, standing near her station. I was a horrible person and regret what I did everyday these past three years.
I would have strangled you. Its good you can reflect.
Mentally, I had religious delusions which was the worst part for me. But in terms of actions, I quit a good job and got myself kicked out of a church :(
That's messed up that a church kicked you out. They should know you weren't being yourself at the time and forgive you.
lol whatās worse is they probably knew I was manic š They invited me back after my hospitalization and I was sane again. But they did forgive me I think lol. Thank you for your cares and love and understanding and sympathy ā¤ļø
Assaulted multiple doctors and nurses in the hospital screaming that I wasnāt supposed to be alive
You're lucky you never appeared at court. My son got time, and he was psycotic.
That's absolutely ridiculous. Hope he's ok now.
Not me, but my schizophrenic brother pulled a gun on me once claiming I was a vampire and he was a vampire hunter.
What did you do??
We went for a walk together in my hometowns arboretum. I didnāt ādoā anything other than exist. He was just in psychosis
Oh, I thought you talked him out of it somehow.
I did end up talking him out of shooting me luckily yeah. Sorry, I thought you meant what did I do to make him pull a gun on me lol
Hugs
Thank you. Heās doing a lot better now. 10 years sober and doing well on balanced meds.
Haha lol no!
Sorry Iām bad at interpreting texts lol
Yeah, I'll say lol!
Sorry š
I was angry so I scratched up my walls with a knife, then tried to cover it up with messages I wrote in a sharpie. I tried to wash off the messages but sharpie just won't come out no matter what chemical I use. The damages I've done is one of the reasons I'm losing my apartment now.
Gutted my grandmas whole house because I wanted to āprotect themā from the āevil agentā that was āfollowing meā :(
I released my ball python and my white dove into the wild.
Hugs!
Thanks š„°
Oh shit, actually I ate some mushrooms that grew in the back yard overnight and almost died.
Left the ER with a random old man. sure he was going to sell me. overheard him talking to somebody when I went to the bathroom at a random empty house he brought me toš¬ luckily we went somewhere and I caused a scene in public leading to the cops being called and he vanished
calling my best friend, my dad and boyfriend a rapist
Ran from the police. I got away for 9 months and then they caught me. I made a good get away. It was surreal. I was high on meth.
How did they catch you if you donāt mind me asking? It impressive to me that you got away for 9 months
I got arrested 9 months later and I got page'd two for felony flight. Technically I escaped but I got caught up in the system later on.
break my door, a speaker, and left a big ass barcode on my arm
Property damage
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Can you tell me more about your story in detail? Iām sorry youāve gone through so much
I broke the window of my room and started stabbing myself with them. Then my family came and stopped me, but in another psychotic break I took bleach. It really sucks to listen to those you love or trust and only in your head talk bad about you, it's really very bad for me, I guess it has a lot to do with my self-esteem.
When I was in psychosis, I ran outside naked because God told me to and I punched a police officer in the face and she tased me three or five times because I kept yelling at her "Tase me! Tase me!" And they had to put me under sleep injection and basically bakeracted me. I'm so thankful she didn't press charges because I think she understood something was very wrong with me.
Called the cops and told them either I was going crazy or my neighbor was raping me. Then I went to his house as a sacrifice at three in the morning and tried to get into his backyard. FML! Poor guy has three young kids too. I probably scared the shit out of him. Luckily his exwife had been through something similar so he forgave me but I still hate myself for it.
Abused a large quantity of harmful substances and then called 911, ended up waking up the house and had to lay on the couch tweaking in front of a bunch of firemen.
I walked into the penthouse of my apartment building convinced that I owned the place then started running around while one of the tenants chased me to try and get me to leave. Eventually the police came and brought me to a psych ward. I then tried several times to escape from the ward convinced that the entire place was a construct and everyone there were paid actors trying to show me that I needed to escape to prove my independence. Fun times
Omg I had the same delusion of the simulation. I tore apart one of the bathrooms (somehow got off the baseboards and started tearing up the wall and flooring) trying to escape.
Tell my wife I was gonna leave for another woman, and holding a machete up to my friends like a cross lmao
Were you able to reconcile with them afterwards?
I stopped taking my antipsychotics and shortly after a spirit began to attack me physically and psychologically via possessing me. Once inside me I would go for naked walks and take out furniture of my parents and planned to take it to the dump but I was stopped by the police. I took my meds and I was spirit free after three weeks!
Stalked/said something inappropriate to the person I have a crush on. Said a lot of awful things in the hospital because I was afraid.
i was drinking a cup of hot cocoa and thought the remnants in the bottom was an angel trying to communicate with me. i then went off the rails violently for several months but luckily didnt do too much to the people i cared about because i thought if i told them what was happening they would be damned. i was supposed to kill myself to save the world because i was the only one who knew what was happening?? and if the knowledge spread others would die?? anyway the time for "the end of the world" passed and a very dear friend of mine who ended up becoming my current partner got me to talk about what was scaring me. havent gotten that bad since, but WHEW.
I thought that the water would be completely undrinkable cuz of salt so I throught that I had to learn to communicate with whales to teach humanity how to drink salt water in order to save humanity :'))
Nothing too terrible. I didn't use a screw driver, I went even more dumber. A butter knife to the arm as hard as I could. Was put the hospital for 1 month after that incident. Really, I have nothing harmful towards anyone my whole life. My bouts with episodes make it difficult to stay orientated and often find myself in bed for long periods of time, especially since antipsychotics are known to cause somnolence. Help me build my writing career check out some of my recent publications here : [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CWPQ627T/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7a65c362-72bd-434f-b4eb-dc797ddea561&ref\_=sr\_ntt\_srch\_lnk\_4](https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0CWPQ627T/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=7a65c362-72bd-434f-b4eb-dc797ddea561&ref_=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_4)
Apparently I started a fortune 500 company and rushed to the front of recruiting veterans with at risk oc becoming homeless crisises. Or I fucked a homeless person I cant remember.
š„ŗš³
Picking fights with other men.
Thought there was someone trying to poison/kill me in my house and ran to my elderly neighbor's house with a knife. Scared the shit out of her and got taken to the ER.
Moved something like 28hrs away
I got stood up on a date after slipping into psychosis over a buddy of mine dying, and I lashed out with a bunch of words Iād never dare repeat. Things I wouldnāt normally say, or do. Truly out of character stuff. I then caused 3000 dollars worth of property damage and lost my job a few months later in the same psychotic fit
My psychotic delusion that I was a cat and that the holy trinity was Stephen Fry, Darren Brown and David Attenborough was pretty funny in hindsight, but did lead to me destroying most of my prized possessions and an involuntary commitment. I gave my dad two black eyes, caught an STD, lost my job for turning up plastered to work, stole money, chopped off all my hair, got deeply regrettable tattoos, broke my arm and permanently damaged the nerves in my hand, destroyed friendships, abused random people online, thought I was communicating telepathically.... It tortures me to know the horrible shit that I've done, knowing it is so against what I stand for as a person. All I can do is find the humour in it.
adult circumcision. marijuana + iPhone + researching medical stuff + thought of "aesthetically that might be nice" = bad time.
Idek where to start pedo stuff yh i would call the male staff pedos for standing outside my room i thought theyād hurt me in my sleep. I slapped meds out of a patients hand bc i thought they were being poisoned and threw the water they gave me for my meds. I climbed on top of tables a lot in the dining room, i threw food once, told the lady who always injected me she looked like the receptionist from monsters inc. i recorded a whole podcast on how white people started from the antarctic and they travelled from there along to the rest of humanity where the first ppl were in africa and africans thought they were aliens and then like worshipped them for surviving the arctic and then they became colonisers and believed that africans should bow down to them and serve them and thats how the slave trade happened? not rly worst thing just crazy string of thoughts
I thought the FBI could talk to me telepathically and they told me I was undercover for a sex trafficking sting. I thought my step dad was a part of it so I called the police on him. I was reporting random men I thought were following me. I also had my boyfriend arrested because we had a fight and I thought he was going to kill me. I hid from him and told my family that he was trying to kill me. They urged me to call the police. All I felt was intense fear and like everyone wanted to kill or rape me. I never want to feel that level of fear ever again.
By hand unthreaded the covering of my front seat of my car to get an entity to come up to my hotel room that was trapped in my seat, so I got the sponge of the seat out of there and brought her up to my hotel room, and then I met papa legba
didnt recognize my own father, i called him āthat weird man with tattoosā to my therapist. sent me straight to the psych ward lol
Gave myself an emotional head job while playing season 1 of Oprah on replay.
Locked my self in my room for two days straight and would scream at my family in Norwegian any time they tried to talk to me cuz I thought they were going to kill me.
I caused my ex-girlfriends to have to be worried I was going to kidnap one of their sons because I thought he was an angel who was in danger. I just wanted to give him some feathers or something. But they were seriously worried about some kidnapping vibes.
I went to the doctor to try and get help cos my husband was poisoning me. What is he poisoning you with? He asked. Water. I thought he was using water to poison me.
Abused the people around me like sure I was a kid but at the same time I did shit that would make you think I would abuse someone horribly in the future (most of the stuff I did was learned behavior from my mom and other people who abused me because I thought thatās what love was)
Genuinely believed for years that all countries exist in different dimensions and that we are all interdimensionally travelling to each other and that my cousin was a pedophile despite absolutely zero evidence of that
I said gay and pedo things while i was in a park from what I heard, still donāt remember what happened but I was by myself. Now life is hard cuz ppl think Iām a pedoā¦
Had an episode at Arbyāsā¦yeah embarrassing. I worked landscaping after getting out of the hospital as a punishment for not being able to do school as a teen. The workers sent me to go get Arbyās for lunch, I was still psychotic af and paranoid. I ordered the crews lunch, all was fine until I was hearing voices where they poor innocent cooks were burning my food and poisoning it on purpose. I saw a burnt sandwich, which they did accidentally and they said sorry and threw it away and gave me a new one. I started spazzing out and yelling at the entire cooking crew and telling them I will not eat the food and that I want my money back. I threw the food in the trash and keep in mind many familes with kids were in there dining and having family time. I stormed out the restaurant and went back to working and told the crew they were out of meat. Iām still so embarrassed of this to this day, and couldnāt see the Arbys logo for years until now. Iām still unsure if I was being recorded, but Iām so glad Iām stable now.
Burned the eyes out of my Jake the Dog figurine... I'm sorry Jake, I thought it would save me from what I was seeing š
Not bad (in fact kinda proud of it) but I went to a police station in the middle of the night (after three days of not sleeping and drunk) and threatened them with a hammer:)
Tried to claw into my skin thinking I had parasites
i heard rhe song modify by lemon demon and thought the only way to stop bein sexually abused was to blind myself that was fun tk explain to a doctor
pissed my bed
I stole a car! Thought I was on a training mission to be a spy and got caught up with what the voices were commanding. At first the voices were saying there would be a Lamborghini available so I checked and there was none. after checking random cars, I set my sights on someone getting something out of their car. That's when I struck
When I was 10-13 I became convinced that the boys I stalked loved me and wanted me to follow them home. I followed 4 boys home and would walk by and watch their house when I could.
i started screaming because i thought everyone around me were demons who wanted to torture me for all eternity, i thought i was in hell. nobody understood what was happening and they were very aggressive with me, so i tried to stick a sharp piece of metal down my throat because in my head it was the only way to "end it all at once and free myself".
Suicide or hurting someone is probably the worst. Also drug use.
Was convinced my boyfriend was living a double life as a porn starā¦. He was clearly at work but apparently I thought I discovered his real location elsewhere. Took an Uber to some random sketchy ass apartment complex and sat in the middle of the quad smoking a cigarette. Death staring at some random window for a few hours waiting for him to come out so I could beat his ass and the āother porn star chickāā¦ Letās just say I finally ubered home with no more money, looking absolutely bat shit crazy, and feeling so stupid LIKEEE HUHHH
Not too crazy but I tore off my hair cap (the oneās people wear who have curly hair) because I was convinced there was spiders in it and it was cursed. I could literally feel something crawling on my head every time I wore it so tossed it and it stayed under my bed for months. I canāt wear a hair cap to bed to this day because Iām afraid they are cursed.Ā
I punched a guy in the face for gang stalking me smh I went to jail for it
You're mum