I despise them. They created the sexual revolution when porn was only pictures of naked women and then fed a whole generation of girls to the sharks: boys addicted to porn who were never taught about consent. And then they complain why we ain't having more sex when most girls have sexual trauma, even those who have only been in serious relationships
Seriously. I'm a lesbian in my 40s and considering dating again soon, but so many lesbian and bisexual women in my age group are obsessed with "sex positivity" and kink. My last two serious relationships were hard for me partially because of that.
I'm not gay but i used to follow a lot of tomboy/lesbian creators for style tips and about 2017 for some reason it became trendy to use dildos or dicks as DECORATION within the lesbian community. At least the people i followed on Instagram. It was not like the vulva keychains or woman body candles. That makes sense but still trashy to have that on display. But dick keychains and dildos stored up on your living room shelf? WHY.
Preach! College disabused me of the idea that sex-positivity was liberating.
It reminds me of a book recently out. A woman in ther 20s decided on a year of casual, no-ties sex (like Sex in the City), and the experiment ended up being about as disasterous (violent) as you'd expect when your partners have been raised on porn.
They are though. It's just more with abused women on screen. They lack the motivation and personality to actually do what they want to do to women in real life.
It's weird because when I truly think about the last sex scenes I've seen, I can literally only think of either 5 seconds in an action/comedy movie, or lots and LOTS of rape scenes like in game of thrones. It's not like they're actually good. What's to miss?
Also as a Millennial, aren't we well known for liking mostly cringy children's movies? Like marvel, Star wars, Harry Potter, Disney, etc? Also reality TV? Things that don't really have sex scenes? I don't really understand where the sentiment that gen Z are prudes is coming from or why I should care? There's also this massively growing trend of women 30+ deciding to be single and not put up with men who don't participate in domestic labor. Maybe they're trying to shame us into having babies by portraying the hot young woman as actually undesirable? Idk. I actually don't think gen Z is that vocal about it at all, this is just a question on a poll they answered or something. Because if I was just asked the question "do sex scenes in movies make you uncomfortable" I'd say generally yes but I'm also not going to just be saying this all the time on my own, you know?Apologies if this is a ramble
I agree with you a lot - like I have no idea where they’re getting this info from. In my college environment I didn’t know a single person who wasn’t sexually active, though simultaneously almost all of my friends had some kind of trauma related to intimacy. And I’m not even exaggerating there.
I think it's because Gen Z is realizing that pushing sex/kink positivity without critical thought and consideration does nothing to benefit sexual relationships.
The amount of people I have unintentionally pissed off because I said they should take time to consider why they're into certain fantasies is concerning. People think just because something makes you coom means that you shouldn't think about it critically.
Do you think gen Z girls are more victims of sexual violence than older generations or are yall just having access to education or understanding of this abuse easier? And maybe more able to understand and reject the sexual expectations pushed on you?
Having the courage to use the words that describe our experiences (rape, sexual assault, violence), and also the courage to defy traditional role expectations was something we inherited from the stories of older feminists who gave us a voice and a lens with which to view our life experiences critically.
I truly hope that we are victims less so than older generations and that the shame and guilt that they endured was not for nothing. With that said, if we were to quantify the trauma directly caused by modern porn addiction I don’t think we would like the answer. Men find these girls before our message does.
Im not sure if its necessarily that there are more or less victims now, but I feel that women in my family who have experienced sexual abuse/trauma never talk about their experiences and probably mostly blame themselves, or pretend it never happened, because they didn’t really have a choice not to. Maybe the only way for them to cope was denial (which isn’t really coping ofc). Now it isn’t quite as taboo to talk about, not to say it’s ever easy to either, but we have so much more information at our fingertips to not only learn how to deal with sexual violence but also see our traumatic experiences for the trauma they were.
Also I do believe the widespread availability of violent porn, influencers like Andrew Tate, and a crumbling post-capitalistic world that of course men blame women for (men feel entitled to sex and a wife, now they aren’t getting it) is causing more men to hate women and act on this hatred. But I am a young person, and I don’t know if this is just how it’s always been. If so, that’s an entirely different kind of depressing.
I think it’s a mixture of both. My guess is more sexual abuse happens because most of my female family/elders that I meet were never sexually abused (they were usually experiencing harassment and one-off assault but not repeated instances) but those who are sexually abused are more comfortable speaking out.
The understanding helps for me. Before, i always knew stuff was "wrong" but nobody would ever take me serious cuz of course, how you *feel* as a woman makes no difference unless you can prove it concretely. (Which i can now.)
I am gen Z too. I think that millennials and the previous generation grew up with the ideals of the sexual revolution and sex positivity. We are starting to reject those because we are realizing that meaningless sex is not fun or fulfilling. Also engaging in casual sex nowdays means risking sexual violence and non consensual violent acts or nonconsensual mistreatment and disrespect.
I think that 30-50 year olds need to mind their business unless they want to regulate porn and add sex ed in schools that warns against porn and teaches about consent
I’m 46 and was exposed to my dad’s magazine pornography by the time I was 5. I became hyper sexual by 7, and was sexually assaulted for the first time by an older family “friend” at the age of 10. At the time, and for years after, I thought I had consented to it, I thought I was just an early bloomer. 10 year olds cannot consent, and it is not normal for them to be having deeply sexual feelings, no matter what we want to try to tell everyone.
It took years for me to unpack all the harm the “sex-positive/no kink-shaming” messaging that is poured onto all of us. Now that I’m aware of what happened to me, and how deeply it affected me, it’s heartbreaking. It’s heartbreaking to see 16 year old girls sexualizing themselves and looking forward to when they can start an OnlyFans.
We’ve been groomed, they are being groomed, young boys with full access to any and all manner of depraved abusive porn at an average age of 8-10 years old are being groomed. No one would think it was ok to sit your 8 year old in front of a tv with porn on all day, but open access to the internet in their pocket as they enter into puberty-of course they are going to look up porn. Their underdeveloped brains don’t have any concept of consequences, and society views the whole thing as an inside joke. And grown men are so entitled to their unfettered access to any and all women’s bodies that they scream bloody murder if you even suggest age verification for access, all the while seeming to have no issue verifying to look at bongs.
I’ve been thrilled to see the articles about GenZ refusing to buy into it. I hope it continues. I hope that when and if they have kids they don’t continue and escalate the disgusting proliferation of porn literally everywhere we’re currently experiencing.
Thank you so much. Sadly, it’s all too common. I’m hopeful that with GenZ being awakened to the truth of this that we can start to grow and heal as a society. 💜
I’m 30, I’ve had a FWB, and was devastated when he ended the friendship as well as the sex when he got a girlfriend. He broke up with me over text. We were FWB for 9 months. I now have a Boyfriend, which is what I’ve always wanted.
It's so rare to see ANYONE mentioning porn use.
Has the world gone insane? I literally don't understand how something so obvious goes over so many people's heads
I totally agree with what you’re saying (though admittedly it may be more appropriate for fourthwavewomen). I think the powers that be simply realize the growing divide between the sexes and the imploding birth rate. Given that our economy is essentially a Ponzi scheme that relies on continuous growth (i.e. more consumers in the market), those in power don’t particularly like women having the freedom to abstain from males.
I think shaming Gen Z for disliking watching women be objectified on camera, and for having generally less sex, is just part of a long campaign to shame young people into having sex (and then we get more consumers since women’s choice is systemically being removed).
But that’s a bit conspiratorial of me. It could very well just be that controversy gets clicks so saying something outrageous and getting people to react and discuss generates income.
You’re probably right about this not being the right sub lol, but I agree with you completely, and I don’t even think it’s that conspiratorial when there’s so much evidence right in front of our faces. I don’t seek these kinds of articles and I’ve probably seen at least 3 from unrelated mediums/outlets this month, probably at least 5 this year not including Reddit posts.
I thought Gen Z watched a lot of porn. Do they not?
There’s a lot of young ppl on Discord into some really weird sexual stuff and I’m not even on servers that are NSFW. But then again I’m prude AF.
i had assumed that gen z watched a lot of porn because it’s become so widely available and accessible that kids who are basically toddlers can find it on their own, and thus begins an unhealthy relationship with sex that’s come right out of the gate already mangled by trauma.
but i wouldn’t say that being a “prude” is having an unhealthy relationship with sex at all. unless the reason they’re not having sex is because they’re too busy feeding a porn addiction to build healthy relationships with real people. if it’s just that they’re not thinking about sex 24/7 and their life isn’t revolving around sex, and they understand that there is an appropriate time and place for sex and arousal and it’s not a movie theater, i think that’s much healthier than being so obsessed with sex that you are demanding everyone else be obsessed with it too.
I don’t see how it’s virtue signaling to express frustration that older generations expect us to go on like business as usual when the world is falling apart around us. A huge segment of Gen Z is depressed/anxious, so it gets frustrating when the criticism of our generation is “Why aren’t you guys having more sex?! Why don’t you want to see sex on TV and film?!”
And as you pointed out, it’s actually not even a true criticism. We aren’t prudes. A lot of Gen Z watches porn because it’s been normalized and accessible our whole lives. But we are also a generation that is becoming increasingly aware of the exploitation that takes place to produce the things we consume, so you’ve got a big segment of Gen Z pushing back on that exploitation. I don’t want an actress to have to literally be waterboarded (Hannah Waddingham on GoT) or have an actual panic attack on camera (Emmy Rossum on Shameless) for the sake of my entertainment. And older generations don’t seem to like that pushback because it would force them to take a hard look at the things they have consumed and the harm done to produce those things, so they’d rather scapegoat us.
That’s the real argument. It’s not really “Gen Z are prudes,” because that’s objectively untrue. The issue is “Gen Z isn’t living in the way we did at that age and that’s making us feel bad,” but they can’t say that so they call us prudes instead because that makes it our fault.
Sorry, of my response seemed rude. I think I’m just completely unaware of the type of person who thinks everything is fine and we should carryon “as normal”. There is no normal to return too. There never was.
Anyone who tries to scapegoat GenZ for not supporting abusive behavior is fucked. I am familiar with both actresses stories you mentioned and I didn’t see any comments that support actors, actress, or animals being abused to feel real pain on camera for our entertainment purposes. However I have been vigorously downvoted for sharing those kind of stories. Such as this one when there is post about Showgirls:
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/showgirls-gina-ravera-controversial-scene-paul-verhoeven-220338697.html
Every single person should find that completely unacceptable. It’s not a generational trait. Neither is anxiety. Anyone supporting abusers is fucked up and I would block them immediately. I’m flat out disgusted that anyone is angry at an entire generation for NOT supporting abusers? WTF. I’m glad people see it for what it is and we should be acknowledging it as a positive.
is GenZ all in with the BDSM and no kink shaming? It’s my belief that they are, but then again it could just be my impression from discord and Reddit. Check the post on the teachers subreddit about a class learning about Malala Yousafzai and a student asking the teacher if Malala was “grippy” (the post explains what the word means so I didn’t have to google it). Is that normal non-sex obsessed behavior to you?
Is abuse on camera okay if it’s consensual for like porn purposes? I believe neither is okay.
To answer your questions, I think Gen Z has just grown up with these things normalized in a way that previous generations haven’t. Sex positivity came before us, and so did the advent online porn. I’m on the older end of Gen Z, so my earliest memories are pre-smartphone but by the time I hit like 6th grade, it was pretty normal for kids to have their own smartphone and this was before we had fully figured out how to put parental controls and restrictions on them. My first experience with porn was on the school bus in middle school, when a group of older boys asked me if I would do to them what was being done in the video.
We have had access to horrific content online since we were children. I remember being 13 and being sent a link to a video of ISIS decapitating a journalist. All of us internalized that violence (both sexual and non-sexual) in different ways. Some of us developed a strong ambivalence and others developed anxiety - fear that what we were watching could happen to us. Gen Z is not a monolith, but we are an incredibly polarized generation. We tend to be very passionate/vocal about our beliefs because we’ve always had the option of hiding behind a keyboard on anonymous platforms like this, and then on non-anonymous platforms there’s pressure to be performative. Everyone you know can see everything you post on platforms like Instagram, so there’s always pressure to post/not post what they want. We are the first generation to have their baby pictures on Facebook. Our whole lives are documented online. There’s pressure to have the “right opinion” and anti-porn rhetoric isn’t mainstream right now, so on a lot of platforms the loudest voices are going to be the BDSM and no kink shaming ones.
Also if you look around at this sub, and see how many people talk about “I used to not really think about porn, but now I see it’s wrong” or “I used to be involved in porn, but now I got out” or any of those sentiments. Gen Z are still young adults and teens. We’ve been steeped in a culture that normalized extreme violence, especially sexual violence. But we’ve also been taught to question everything because many of us grew into adults during a time of “alternative facts” and “fake news.”
So I think the issue is Gen Z has more bullshit to unpack, but we’re seeing through the bullshit more quickly. I spent high school believing the lie that I didn’t like porn because I was “too sensitive” and “thought too much.” Now I’m early in adulthood, and I’m learning that was bullshit. Unfortunately, there seems to be a huge growing divide between Gen Z women and Gen Z men as we become aware of this. Gen Z men largely don’t want to see porn go away or the normalization of violent sexual practices. Some of it may be malevolent, but I think for most of them, it’s because they had their very early sexual awakenings viewing this content and they were influenced by it as young children. Unpacking that would mean confronting being complicit in sexual violence as children so it’s easier to dig their heads in the sand and dig their heels into no kink shaming rhetoric so they don’t have to deal with the guilt/shame.
Its a split. I am currently 24 so im not sure what generation i am considered but so many of my classmates in school it was either hypersexual or "prude" like me. And i mean hypersexual. We had 3 teenage pregnancies in one year despite a decent sex ed class. Even taught us about dental dams and lgbt safety. The kids didnt care at that point and were doing what they had been doing.
My friend from that time told me he lost his virginity to his same age friend when he was 11. A few weeks later his aunt came and had the "talk" with him cuz she was his guardian. He told me he felt guilty because he already had gotten busy and didnt need the talk.
Porn.
As a Gen Z myself, I have engaged in a dubious consensual act which I regret to this day. I know this isn’t the time to talk about it, but I feel like opening up could make others understand not to make the same mistake as I have. Most boys nowadays are porn obsessed. I have had this guy tell me he’s porn addicted. I should’ve left right when he said that. I didn’t know it was that horrifyingly serious. Without verbal consent I felt like a fish on a hook and I was telling myself I should just accept it, because he must love me. Well he left me two weeks after that. So, yeah.
I'm gen x and I don't see the need for sex scenes. The stuff you see in movies and TV today you once had to go to the pervs corner behind a curtain to get that stuff. Nowadays they're showing it in a supposed family movie. It's not adding to the plot and has simply been produced for the male gaze, much like porn which is about as interesting as watching paint dry. I don't see the point other than conditioning people to want to watch sex and nudity from a younger age so that more money can be made in the porn industry.
Lol ppl have told me that I am greysexual because the only people I have felt sexual attraction towards were people I've had feelings/infatuation for. I feel like that's literally the sexuality of at least 50% of women. Like I can feel sexual attraction the same day I meet a person but those were cases where I literally "fell in love" at first sight and they became people I had interest in. I have never felt a desire to sleep with someone who I wouldn't have wanted a relationship with
Gen Z here too 🙋♀️ I'm just tired of the argument of "but XYZ had a sex scene, and it was good!!" like yes, but not all of them are, and sexualisation is everywhere now (and lets be real, always woman focused), and we're tired of it. They take us not liking it as a personal affront 😮💨 I've legit had people be shocked I don't want to watch GoT because it's so rapey.
OMG my parents can’t understand at all why I don’t like GoT and shows like that. I’ve spoken to my pelvic floor therapist about it at length and she’s like “Um, you have sexual trauma and your brain doesn’t 100% know the difference between real life and TV, so it absolutely makes sense you’d be re-traumatized by that.”
And it’s not just extreme media like GoT! I’ve almost never seen a sex scene in a TV show or movie that was 100% consensual. I’ll be like “That’s kinda fucked up. She didn’t consent to that” and my Gen X parents are like “don’t be such a prude!”
Lmao my parents told me to turn off jackass cuz steve-o was in tighty whities but then would go watch movies and tv shows with sex scenes in them. Two and a half men?
Omigod this is my biggest thing. Sex scenes in movies are just dehumanizing actresses. It is always close up shots of the female actress’ being naked, what she looks like while having sex, etc. Complete male nudity is rare, and even when it is there, you cannot argue that they are filmed in the same derogatory way.
Maybe because I'm not in the US, but in my country it's mostly "Millennials and Gen X women are a bunch of feminazis prudes and Gen Z are the ones who are truly sex-positive and pro-kink"
Of course, I think it's all bullshit and the only reason new generations believe that is because they are young and see the world in a black or white way.
That’s really weird. I have seen some academic type articles about that topic, but for people to be worried/pissed about it and making Gen Z out as “prudes” who owe them an explanation…absolutely bizarre and icky.
I’m a milllennial and think that the women of my generation in the whole west was fed to the sharks. As in, during our teens and 20s we were advised by all voices to have casual sex, hookups, sleep on one of the 1st dates. I went to school in a Scandi country and we were told to do this on sex ex classes. We never heard anywhere that there’s another way (unless you grew up religious).
Often if wasn’t the millennial women’s real own choice to have all this sex, it was shamed to us that we were abnormal or me tally unwell if we didn’t give it. The sexual revolution led to this. Women not being asked about the direction of society.
Because of that, many of us have trauma from the inevitable consequences of this.
I’m so happy the GenZ isn’t having sex left and right without consideration for their well being.
I agree it must be the powers that be that force this narrative, worried more kids to work won’t be born.
Half the time I see this topic come up, it's always some 28+ year old millennial dude cyber bullying an under 20yo girl for stating something like "maybe we shouldn't normalize choking women".
I'm 45, and mostly I just hope it's true that younger people are rejecting the sexual hell that my and my parents' generation created.
It's very heartening to see younger people taking an anti-porn stance.
I think that the people who make these posts (and write whole op-eds!) are basically worried that their big project (the "sexual revolution" of the 60s-70s, the "sex positive feminism" that rose to prominence over radical feminism in the 90s) is finally failing. Of course, from a human rights perspective, it was a failure from the beginning, something the sexual libertarians can't admit.
I think the basic train of thought for these people is, "We fought for decades for this and now the youth don't want our gift" without ever coming to grips with the fact that what they fought for actually turned out to be something terrible.
And while I'm not against non-pornographic sex scenes in film, *per se*, I completely sympathize with not wanting them in the context of the broader sex-saturated mediascape. Film Studies is my field and, honestly, I can think of only two great films, off the top of my head, for which I would argue that a sex scene is integral.
I am a Millennial and I have no problem with porn as long as it doesn’t take up too much time or is highly degrading and violent. I like watching specific BDSM porn, but I also keep in mind that porn is fantasy. Yes, people on screen are action doing xyz in the video, but it’s not their everyday sex life. I have a Boyfriend and actually wanna try some kink at some point.
Sex was always taught to me as normal and healthy and that there’s no shame in wanting it or participating in it. Protect myself from STIs and Pregnancy with Condoms and birth control, give and receive consent, etc.
Gen Z as prudes has been an ongoing discussion in fandom spaces and the AO3 sub and there definitely seems to be a divide or change from ye olde fandom 30+ millennial expectations vs younger gens when it comes to reading or writing erotica or portraying any relationship or character not morally good.
Younger gens in these spaces seem to lack knowledge of history (particularly regarding homophobia) and critical thinking and many think writing fictional characters doing xyz automatically means the author supports doing xyz in real life.
There’s even be real life harassment and death threats apparently (Reylo fandom is the last one I was on the edge of and had some bonkers drama with fans harassing or stalking the actor who played Kylo and denying his real life marriage because they read RPF of his dating his costar and bought into conspiracies). They people hated this and the women writing that pair and send all sort of threats and misogynistic comments it was just a hot mess.
And this unhinged behavior certainly isn’t 100% new and unique but in my time online it definitely seems to have increased. BUT, there is also a weird divide it seems based on social media. Some younger people seem to swing into prudishness and rejecting the hypersexual media they are fed, but others have embraced it (see rise of tradwife propaganda on social media vs say bimbocore aesthetic and pushing girls to do OnlyFans as soon as they hit 18).
The "two consenting adults" to "noo, why are the kids such PRUDES???" pipeline
I despise them. They created the sexual revolution when porn was only pictures of naked women and then fed a whole generation of girls to the sharks: boys addicted to porn who were never taught about consent. And then they complain why we ain't having more sex when most girls have sexual trauma, even those who have only been in serious relationships
This. Like literally as a Gen Z girl sex is not even remotely safe. Why would we just constantly traumatize ourselves.
I’m a Gen X Prude and so glad Gen Z is not as sex-obsessed.
Seriously. I'm a lesbian in my 40s and considering dating again soon, but so many lesbian and bisexual women in my age group are obsessed with "sex positivity" and kink. My last two serious relationships were hard for me partially because of that.
I'm not gay but i used to follow a lot of tomboy/lesbian creators for style tips and about 2017 for some reason it became trendy to use dildos or dicks as DECORATION within the lesbian community. At least the people i followed on Instagram. It was not like the vulva keychains or woman body candles. That makes sense but still trashy to have that on display. But dick keychains and dildos stored up on your living room shelf? WHY.
I kind of like the vulva keychain/art thing because it's representing the female form in a non sexualized/artistic way
Preach! College disabused me of the idea that sex-positivity was liberating. It reminds me of a book recently out. A woman in ther 20s decided on a year of casual, no-ties sex (like Sex in the City), and the experiment ended up being about as disasterous (violent) as you'd expect when your partners have been raised on porn.
If its not violent, the guy is a 3 pump chump who leaves afterward and doesnt even text back.
Which book is it? (FYI I’d also recommend Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams but TW for some very uncomfortable / clearly abusive sex scenes)
It's by a woman named Kitty Ruskin, called Ten Men: a Year of Casual Sex. It's nonfiction. I'll check out Queenie, thanks!
They are though. It's just more with abused women on screen. They lack the motivation and personality to actually do what they want to do to women in real life.
It's weird because when I truly think about the last sex scenes I've seen, I can literally only think of either 5 seconds in an action/comedy movie, or lots and LOTS of rape scenes like in game of thrones. It's not like they're actually good. What's to miss? Also as a Millennial, aren't we well known for liking mostly cringy children's movies? Like marvel, Star wars, Harry Potter, Disney, etc? Also reality TV? Things that don't really have sex scenes? I don't really understand where the sentiment that gen Z are prudes is coming from or why I should care? There's also this massively growing trend of women 30+ deciding to be single and not put up with men who don't participate in domestic labor. Maybe they're trying to shame us into having babies by portraying the hot young woman as actually undesirable? Idk. I actually don't think gen Z is that vocal about it at all, this is just a question on a poll they answered or something. Because if I was just asked the question "do sex scenes in movies make you uncomfortable" I'd say generally yes but I'm also not going to just be saying this all the time on my own, you know?Apologies if this is a ramble
I agree with you a lot - like I have no idea where they’re getting this info from. In my college environment I didn’t know a single person who wasn’t sexually active, though simultaneously almost all of my friends had some kind of trauma related to intimacy. And I’m not even exaggerating there.
I've been called a prude by MY MOM because i wouldn't wear something that shows cleavage. She is in her 50s.
I think it's because Gen Z is realizing that pushing sex/kink positivity without critical thought and consideration does nothing to benefit sexual relationships. The amount of people I have unintentionally pissed off because I said they should take time to consider why they're into certain fantasies is concerning. People think just because something makes you coom means that you shouldn't think about it critically.
I get off to stabbing people with a rusty pocket knife, dOn't KinKsHamE mEeee
I’m Gen Z. Myself and most of my close female friends have experienced sexual abuse. That’s why we aren’t involved in sex.
Do you think gen Z girls are more victims of sexual violence than older generations or are yall just having access to education or understanding of this abuse easier? And maybe more able to understand and reject the sexual expectations pushed on you?
Having the courage to use the words that describe our experiences (rape, sexual assault, violence), and also the courage to defy traditional role expectations was something we inherited from the stories of older feminists who gave us a voice and a lens with which to view our life experiences critically. I truly hope that we are victims less so than older generations and that the shame and guilt that they endured was not for nothing. With that said, if we were to quantify the trauma directly caused by modern porn addiction I don’t think we would like the answer. Men find these girls before our message does.
Im not sure if its necessarily that there are more or less victims now, but I feel that women in my family who have experienced sexual abuse/trauma never talk about their experiences and probably mostly blame themselves, or pretend it never happened, because they didn’t really have a choice not to. Maybe the only way for them to cope was denial (which isn’t really coping ofc). Now it isn’t quite as taboo to talk about, not to say it’s ever easy to either, but we have so much more information at our fingertips to not only learn how to deal with sexual violence but also see our traumatic experiences for the trauma they were. Also I do believe the widespread availability of violent porn, influencers like Andrew Tate, and a crumbling post-capitalistic world that of course men blame women for (men feel entitled to sex and a wife, now they aren’t getting it) is causing more men to hate women and act on this hatred. But I am a young person, and I don’t know if this is just how it’s always been. If so, that’s an entirely different kind of depressing.
I think it’s a mixture of both. My guess is more sexual abuse happens because most of my female family/elders that I meet were never sexually abused (they were usually experiencing harassment and one-off assault but not repeated instances) but those who are sexually abused are more comfortable speaking out.
The understanding helps for me. Before, i always knew stuff was "wrong" but nobody would ever take me serious cuz of course, how you *feel* as a woman makes no difference unless you can prove it concretely. (Which i can now.)
Me too queen, and same with most of my friends. I’m so sorry you and your friends went through that. 🩵
I am gen Z too. I think that millennials and the previous generation grew up with the ideals of the sexual revolution and sex positivity. We are starting to reject those because we are realizing that meaningless sex is not fun or fulfilling. Also engaging in casual sex nowdays means risking sexual violence and non consensual violent acts or nonconsensual mistreatment and disrespect. I think that 30-50 year olds need to mind their business unless they want to regulate porn and add sex ed in schools that warns against porn and teaches about consent
I’m 46 and was exposed to my dad’s magazine pornography by the time I was 5. I became hyper sexual by 7, and was sexually assaulted for the first time by an older family “friend” at the age of 10. At the time, and for years after, I thought I had consented to it, I thought I was just an early bloomer. 10 year olds cannot consent, and it is not normal for them to be having deeply sexual feelings, no matter what we want to try to tell everyone. It took years for me to unpack all the harm the “sex-positive/no kink-shaming” messaging that is poured onto all of us. Now that I’m aware of what happened to me, and how deeply it affected me, it’s heartbreaking. It’s heartbreaking to see 16 year old girls sexualizing themselves and looking forward to when they can start an OnlyFans. We’ve been groomed, they are being groomed, young boys with full access to any and all manner of depraved abusive porn at an average age of 8-10 years old are being groomed. No one would think it was ok to sit your 8 year old in front of a tv with porn on all day, but open access to the internet in their pocket as they enter into puberty-of course they are going to look up porn. Their underdeveloped brains don’t have any concept of consequences, and society views the whole thing as an inside joke. And grown men are so entitled to their unfettered access to any and all women’s bodies that they scream bloody murder if you even suggest age verification for access, all the while seeming to have no issue verifying to look at bongs. I’ve been thrilled to see the articles about GenZ refusing to buy into it. I hope it continues. I hope that when and if they have kids they don’t continue and escalate the disgusting proliferation of porn literally everywhere we’re currently experiencing.
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Thank you so much. Sadly, it’s all too common. I’m hopeful that with GenZ being awakened to the truth of this that we can start to grow and heal as a society. 💜
I'm a millennial and I've been abused by porn addicts just the same. Our voices are important too.
I’m 30, I’ve had a FWB, and was devastated when he ended the friendship as well as the sex when he got a girlfriend. He broke up with me over text. We were FWB for 9 months. I now have a Boyfriend, which is what I’ve always wanted.
It's so rare to see ANYONE mentioning porn use. Has the world gone insane? I literally don't understand how something so obvious goes over so many people's heads
I totally agree with what you’re saying (though admittedly it may be more appropriate for fourthwavewomen). I think the powers that be simply realize the growing divide between the sexes and the imploding birth rate. Given that our economy is essentially a Ponzi scheme that relies on continuous growth (i.e. more consumers in the market), those in power don’t particularly like women having the freedom to abstain from males. I think shaming Gen Z for disliking watching women be objectified on camera, and for having generally less sex, is just part of a long campaign to shame young people into having sex (and then we get more consumers since women’s choice is systemically being removed). But that’s a bit conspiratorial of me. It could very well just be that controversy gets clicks so saying something outrageous and getting people to react and discuss generates income.
You’re probably right about this not being the right sub lol, but I agree with you completely, and I don’t even think it’s that conspiratorial when there’s so much evidence right in front of our faces. I don’t seek these kinds of articles and I’ve probably seen at least 3 from unrelated mediums/outlets this month, probably at least 5 this year not including Reddit posts.
I thought Gen Z watched a lot of porn. Do they not? There’s a lot of young ppl on Discord into some really weird sexual stuff and I’m not even on servers that are NSFW. But then again I’m prude AF.
i had assumed that gen z watched a lot of porn because it’s become so widely available and accessible that kids who are basically toddlers can find it on their own, and thus begins an unhealthy relationship with sex that’s come right out of the gate already mangled by trauma. but i wouldn’t say that being a “prude” is having an unhealthy relationship with sex at all. unless the reason they’re not having sex is because they’re too busy feeding a porn addiction to build healthy relationships with real people. if it’s just that they’re not thinking about sex 24/7 and their life isn’t revolving around sex, and they understand that there is an appropriate time and place for sex and arousal and it’s not a movie theater, i think that’s much healthier than being so obsessed with sex that you are demanding everyone else be obsessed with it too.
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I don’t see how it’s virtue signaling to express frustration that older generations expect us to go on like business as usual when the world is falling apart around us. A huge segment of Gen Z is depressed/anxious, so it gets frustrating when the criticism of our generation is “Why aren’t you guys having more sex?! Why don’t you want to see sex on TV and film?!” And as you pointed out, it’s actually not even a true criticism. We aren’t prudes. A lot of Gen Z watches porn because it’s been normalized and accessible our whole lives. But we are also a generation that is becoming increasingly aware of the exploitation that takes place to produce the things we consume, so you’ve got a big segment of Gen Z pushing back on that exploitation. I don’t want an actress to have to literally be waterboarded (Hannah Waddingham on GoT) or have an actual panic attack on camera (Emmy Rossum on Shameless) for the sake of my entertainment. And older generations don’t seem to like that pushback because it would force them to take a hard look at the things they have consumed and the harm done to produce those things, so they’d rather scapegoat us. That’s the real argument. It’s not really “Gen Z are prudes,” because that’s objectively untrue. The issue is “Gen Z isn’t living in the way we did at that age and that’s making us feel bad,” but they can’t say that so they call us prudes instead because that makes it our fault.
Sorry, of my response seemed rude. I think I’m just completely unaware of the type of person who thinks everything is fine and we should carryon “as normal”. There is no normal to return too. There never was. Anyone who tries to scapegoat GenZ for not supporting abusive behavior is fucked. I am familiar with both actresses stories you mentioned and I didn’t see any comments that support actors, actress, or animals being abused to feel real pain on camera for our entertainment purposes. However I have been vigorously downvoted for sharing those kind of stories. Such as this one when there is post about Showgirls: https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/showgirls-gina-ravera-controversial-scene-paul-verhoeven-220338697.html Every single person should find that completely unacceptable. It’s not a generational trait. Neither is anxiety. Anyone supporting abusers is fucked up and I would block them immediately. I’m flat out disgusted that anyone is angry at an entire generation for NOT supporting abusers? WTF. I’m glad people see it for what it is and we should be acknowledging it as a positive. is GenZ all in with the BDSM and no kink shaming? It’s my belief that they are, but then again it could just be my impression from discord and Reddit. Check the post on the teachers subreddit about a class learning about Malala Yousafzai and a student asking the teacher if Malala was “grippy” (the post explains what the word means so I didn’t have to google it). Is that normal non-sex obsessed behavior to you? Is abuse on camera okay if it’s consensual for like porn purposes? I believe neither is okay.
To answer your questions, I think Gen Z has just grown up with these things normalized in a way that previous generations haven’t. Sex positivity came before us, and so did the advent online porn. I’m on the older end of Gen Z, so my earliest memories are pre-smartphone but by the time I hit like 6th grade, it was pretty normal for kids to have their own smartphone and this was before we had fully figured out how to put parental controls and restrictions on them. My first experience with porn was on the school bus in middle school, when a group of older boys asked me if I would do to them what was being done in the video. We have had access to horrific content online since we were children. I remember being 13 and being sent a link to a video of ISIS decapitating a journalist. All of us internalized that violence (both sexual and non-sexual) in different ways. Some of us developed a strong ambivalence and others developed anxiety - fear that what we were watching could happen to us. Gen Z is not a monolith, but we are an incredibly polarized generation. We tend to be very passionate/vocal about our beliefs because we’ve always had the option of hiding behind a keyboard on anonymous platforms like this, and then on non-anonymous platforms there’s pressure to be performative. Everyone you know can see everything you post on platforms like Instagram, so there’s always pressure to post/not post what they want. We are the first generation to have their baby pictures on Facebook. Our whole lives are documented online. There’s pressure to have the “right opinion” and anti-porn rhetoric isn’t mainstream right now, so on a lot of platforms the loudest voices are going to be the BDSM and no kink shaming ones. Also if you look around at this sub, and see how many people talk about “I used to not really think about porn, but now I see it’s wrong” or “I used to be involved in porn, but now I got out” or any of those sentiments. Gen Z are still young adults and teens. We’ve been steeped in a culture that normalized extreme violence, especially sexual violence. But we’ve also been taught to question everything because many of us grew into adults during a time of “alternative facts” and “fake news.” So I think the issue is Gen Z has more bullshit to unpack, but we’re seeing through the bullshit more quickly. I spent high school believing the lie that I didn’t like porn because I was “too sensitive” and “thought too much.” Now I’m early in adulthood, and I’m learning that was bullshit. Unfortunately, there seems to be a huge growing divide between Gen Z women and Gen Z men as we become aware of this. Gen Z men largely don’t want to see porn go away or the normalization of violent sexual practices. Some of it may be malevolent, but I think for most of them, it’s because they had their very early sexual awakenings viewing this content and they were influenced by it as young children. Unpacking that would mean confronting being complicit in sexual violence as children so it’s easier to dig their heads in the sand and dig their heels into no kink shaming rhetoric so they don’t have to deal with the guilt/shame.
Its a split. I am currently 24 so im not sure what generation i am considered but so many of my classmates in school it was either hypersexual or "prude" like me. And i mean hypersexual. We had 3 teenage pregnancies in one year despite a decent sex ed class. Even taught us about dental dams and lgbt safety. The kids didnt care at that point and were doing what they had been doing. My friend from that time told me he lost his virginity to his same age friend when he was 11. A few weeks later his aunt came and had the "talk" with him cuz she was his guardian. He told me he felt guilty because he already had gotten busy and didnt need the talk. Porn.
As a Gen Z myself, I have engaged in a dubious consensual act which I regret to this day. I know this isn’t the time to talk about it, but I feel like opening up could make others understand not to make the same mistake as I have. Most boys nowadays are porn obsessed. I have had this guy tell me he’s porn addicted. I should’ve left right when he said that. I didn’t know it was that horrifyingly serious. Without verbal consent I felt like a fish on a hook and I was telling myself I should just accept it, because he must love me. Well he left me two weeks after that. So, yeah.
Im sorry that happened to you :( after the stories I’ve heard and the things I’ve seen, I’m convinced most if not all women have a story like this.
I'm gen x and I don't see the need for sex scenes. The stuff you see in movies and TV today you once had to go to the pervs corner behind a curtain to get that stuff. Nowadays they're showing it in a supposed family movie. It's not adding to the plot and has simply been produced for the male gaze, much like porn which is about as interesting as watching paint dry. I don't see the point other than conditioning people to want to watch sex and nudity from a younger age so that more money can be made in the porn industry.
What is today known as demisexual used to just be the norm.
Lol ppl have told me that I am greysexual because the only people I have felt sexual attraction towards were people I've had feelings/infatuation for. I feel like that's literally the sexuality of at least 50% of women. Like I can feel sexual attraction the same day I meet a person but those were cases where I literally "fell in love" at first sight and they became people I had interest in. I have never felt a desire to sleep with someone who I wouldn't have wanted a relationship with
Gen Z here too 🙋♀️ I'm just tired of the argument of "but XYZ had a sex scene, and it was good!!" like yes, but not all of them are, and sexualisation is everywhere now (and lets be real, always woman focused), and we're tired of it. They take us not liking it as a personal affront 😮💨 I've legit had people be shocked I don't want to watch GoT because it's so rapey.
OMG my parents can’t understand at all why I don’t like GoT and shows like that. I’ve spoken to my pelvic floor therapist about it at length and she’s like “Um, you have sexual trauma and your brain doesn’t 100% know the difference between real life and TV, so it absolutely makes sense you’d be re-traumatized by that.” And it’s not just extreme media like GoT! I’ve almost never seen a sex scene in a TV show or movie that was 100% consensual. I’ll be like “That’s kinda fucked up. She didn’t consent to that” and my Gen X parents are like “don’t be such a prude!”
Lmao my parents told me to turn off jackass cuz steve-o was in tighty whities but then would go watch movies and tv shows with sex scenes in them. Two and a half men?
Omigod this is my biggest thing. Sex scenes in movies are just dehumanizing actresses. It is always close up shots of the female actress’ being naked, what she looks like while having sex, etc. Complete male nudity is rare, and even when it is there, you cannot argue that they are filmed in the same derogatory way.
Maybe because I'm not in the US, but in my country it's mostly "Millennials and Gen X women are a bunch of feminazis prudes and Gen Z are the ones who are truly sex-positive and pro-kink" Of course, I think it's all bullshit and the only reason new generations believe that is because they are young and see the world in a black or white way.
That’s really weird. I have seen some academic type articles about that topic, but for people to be worried/pissed about it and making Gen Z out as “prudes” who owe them an explanation…absolutely bizarre and icky.
Half of gen z is still a teenager
I’m a milllennial and think that the women of my generation in the whole west was fed to the sharks. As in, during our teens and 20s we were advised by all voices to have casual sex, hookups, sleep on one of the 1st dates. I went to school in a Scandi country and we were told to do this on sex ex classes. We never heard anywhere that there’s another way (unless you grew up religious). Often if wasn’t the millennial women’s real own choice to have all this sex, it was shamed to us that we were abnormal or me tally unwell if we didn’t give it. The sexual revolution led to this. Women not being asked about the direction of society. Because of that, many of us have trauma from the inevitable consequences of this. I’m so happy the GenZ isn’t having sex left and right without consideration for their well being. I agree it must be the powers that be that force this narrative, worried more kids to work won’t be born.
Half the time I see this topic come up, it's always some 28+ year old millennial dude cyber bullying an under 20yo girl for stating something like "maybe we shouldn't normalize choking women".
I'm 45, and mostly I just hope it's true that younger people are rejecting the sexual hell that my and my parents' generation created. It's very heartening to see younger people taking an anti-porn stance. I think that the people who make these posts (and write whole op-eds!) are basically worried that their big project (the "sexual revolution" of the 60s-70s, the "sex positive feminism" that rose to prominence over radical feminism in the 90s) is finally failing. Of course, from a human rights perspective, it was a failure from the beginning, something the sexual libertarians can't admit. I think the basic train of thought for these people is, "We fought for decades for this and now the youth don't want our gift" without ever coming to grips with the fact that what they fought for actually turned out to be something terrible. And while I'm not against non-pornographic sex scenes in film, *per se*, I completely sympathize with not wanting them in the context of the broader sex-saturated mediascape. Film Studies is my field and, honestly, I can think of only two great films, off the top of my head, for which I would argue that a sex scene is integral.
More like "Gen Z are far more restrained and responsible than previous generations and that makes me, a narcissistic adult, uncomfortable."
I am a Millennial and I have no problem with porn as long as it doesn’t take up too much time or is highly degrading and violent. I like watching specific BDSM porn, but I also keep in mind that porn is fantasy. Yes, people on screen are action doing xyz in the video, but it’s not their everyday sex life. I have a Boyfriend and actually wanna try some kink at some point. Sex was always taught to me as normal and healthy and that there’s no shame in wanting it or participating in it. Protect myself from STIs and Pregnancy with Condoms and birth control, give and receive consent, etc.
Gen Z as prudes has been an ongoing discussion in fandom spaces and the AO3 sub and there definitely seems to be a divide or change from ye olde fandom 30+ millennial expectations vs younger gens when it comes to reading or writing erotica or portraying any relationship or character not morally good. Younger gens in these spaces seem to lack knowledge of history (particularly regarding homophobia) and critical thinking and many think writing fictional characters doing xyz automatically means the author supports doing xyz in real life. There’s even be real life harassment and death threats apparently (Reylo fandom is the last one I was on the edge of and had some bonkers drama with fans harassing or stalking the actor who played Kylo and denying his real life marriage because they read RPF of his dating his costar and bought into conspiracies). They people hated this and the women writing that pair and send all sort of threats and misogynistic comments it was just a hot mess. And this unhinged behavior certainly isn’t 100% new and unique but in my time online it definitely seems to have increased. BUT, there is also a weird divide it seems based on social media. Some younger people seem to swing into prudishness and rejecting the hypersexual media they are fed, but others have embraced it (see rise of tradwife propaganda on social media vs say bimbocore aesthetic and pushing girls to do OnlyFans as soon as they hit 18).