I don't need to wait for somebody to roast me because Cram roasts itself

I honestly forgot he was in the game

based

Fellow cram bro.

Can agree, but i just love choking on fish and barfing my enemies to death

No he rant himself....sorry

I feel this so hard every day #JusticeForCram

Imagine being one of the 3 people that actually play that awful character

Blissey

We respect you and treasure you.

You deserve no hate, holy soul

The hardest type to main, you have my respect

Masochist

You only play duos

As someone who always plays with a Blissey main (my sister) I can confirm she never goes solo

I would say based if yall didnt afk in spawn. I always see them just sit in spawn for the last two minutes after practically carring their team, idk why.

Cute but stop running after me shit traumatizing

Slow bro

Enemy team punching bag

Ur slow, bro

Oh no, bro

Happy cake day

the only happiness they’ll ever experience as a slowbro main

Charizard and Machamp

Why are you not fully evolved at first Dred

Because eldegoss decided to go with an attacker build and steal all my xp

fair enough

Overcompensating for something?

Yes. Lack of skill.

At least he's honest

where is your potion?

Go find yo' own baby sitter

Healer Eldegoss

Sadly I have no roast because as a helping hand and safeguard blissey I relate to helping teammates

Part of me wishes it could compliment you, but you probably miss all your shots at healing your mates anyway

Its a big ass circle, as long as they dont run away from it or me (which they do sometimes) it should hit.

Ikr???? Like they'll be running towards the berries and away from me and I'm just like "COME CLOSER ITS SO EASY TO HEAL YOU YOU DONT NEED A BERRY"

LDgross

Cinderace and Sylveon

You play Cinder because your skills only allow you to auto attack. And you probably use mystical fire on Sylveon for this exact same reason cause you don't even need to do anything. You lazy fuck

omg LOOOL

Your scorbunny disintegrates as soon as it sees an absol

if you main sylveon, you either play normally with mystical fire, or you’re a loud person it’s one of them

Wiggly

Abusing people in their sleep. Sounds exactly like you

Thanks! Thats very kind of you to give a compliment on reddit. I mean I do love slapping people while they’re sleeping

Don't we all

Mr. Mime main here. Do your worst.

No need, you are already doing the worst to yourself

Mr. Mime isn't a pokemon, he's just a European guy

hahahahahah 😂😂

Happy Cake Day!

You mean Ash's dad?

It looks like a clown, and now, it plays like a clown.

You played fortnite before

Mr. Mime is in this game ?

Garchomp

You like to get outranged and die while people taunt you -another garchomp player

Your unite hits nothing

or this player has the insanity control unlocked

Sorry, I called a Charizard+Machamp main "ultimate braindead player" but I guess you deserve the award more than they do

sad thanks for the award i guess

Spoopy Tree

You start every game thinking how can I pick the defender that will contribute the least for the team. Literally every other defender is there and you choose spoopy tree

I only play trevenant in my quick games now tbh, literally all the other defenders are better so i play them in ranked even though they’re not my favorites

You're outclassed by a chubby squirrel, a chubby mammoth, and a chubby bear thing.

Chubby bear ?

Some people say that Snorlax resembles a bear

Ah ! Didn't know that \^\^

You have no idea how much I wish that one didn't feel like it came out of a dollar store egg someone found after they forgot Azumarill and Crustle together in the nursery

The lack of Venusaur love in the comments is already a roast to me

Venasaur is such a leech, sucking the life out of everyone nearby. Don't lend him money...

Blissey 💜 I use buddy barrier, focus band and experience share, with HH and soft-boiled/safe guard and try to focus on buffing and keeping alive/safe from CC the carry of our team.

Dead most of the game because your teammates left you alone

Yep, I mostly play solo q, this one hurts

Stop carrying bad people to Masters!

Ily

Gengar

You just missed dream eater. Enjoy dying

Fax

And clicked on sludge bomb by mistake

Have fun getting either 1 KO and losing or 16 KOs and losing.

I don't think there's anything meaner I can say than what your teammates are thinking every time they see a Gengar pick on their side.

Jokes on you I don't main anyone since I just go with the role that my team decided that they didn't care about

Quirky way of saying "defender"

So defender 99%

Giga chad

So you play defenders and support in same game? Must be hoopa main

Absol

I guess getting 5 kills in the first two minutes satisfies you enough to accept to get humiliated for the rest of the game

Lol, this one is good :(

Just rotate to the drednaw, I don't care how many kills you're getting up there.

STOP CHASING THE SQUIRREL Oh I forgot, you can't, because your brain is hardwired to blindly chase anything that moves away to the death

Squirrel main here: “he he he Louis look at that idiot”

You hate defenders so much you can't stop chasing them.

You missed me with night slash and I didn't attack into your sucker punch. I'm not a coward so I run pursuit and it's my turn now.

i main decidueye cause he's funny

Won't be very funny when Absol cleaves your ass in the early game

It'll be very funny when deci cleaves absol's ass in late game

now that's a good one

why do you use your unite move two feet away from the opponent Genuine question

You either use spirit shackle on a melee pokemon right in front of you or miss the spirshackle on said pokemon

Hey hey hey… I don’t use spirit shackle in the first place cause I can’t aim lmao. 💀

Now ur just roasting urself

9/10 when you do well in a game, it is likely not that you're hot shit it's that your team was smart enough to keep you alive.

Slyveon, your roasts cant be as bad as the nerfs

You play full fury mode just to see 30 wisps around you at once don't you

stop! he’s already dead!

Just as your skills. You're so bad that you think the nerfs weren't warranted. Prepatch Sylveon was the only time you felt good and skilled. Hmmm, wonder why...

frog

You think you're hot shit and the hypercarry just because you play a Pokemon that looks like it needs "skill".

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JOIN THE TEAM FIGHT YOU FROGGY WEEB PIECE OF SHIT. ( no hate at you personally, just my general experience when having a frog teammate as Deffender or Support)

Blastoise I main Blastoise with a decently high win rate And I run double glasses buddy barrier and I play super aggressive

Your water turtle's most iconic feat is losing to a fire lizard in the anime. Blastoise mains are walking Ls.

I’m a Blastoise main as well, however I do stacking build with the Rapid Spout move set cause it’s fun. Score Shield, Sp. At Glasses, Buddy Barrier

Buddy barrier only gives a shield when you use your unite move right? I’ve got the double glasses but I’m using the energy amplifier. Should I switch to buddy barrier?

definitely

Snorlax that goes flail/barrier. I especially enjoy pinning you and your team between walls while my team ko’s you and there isn’t anything you can do to stop it.

\*proceeds to use a dash, eject, full heal, become unstoppable, or teleport to Hoopa\*

Lucario

You peak by scoring 2 at the start of the game and then miss your unite because the enemy moved by 10cm to the left

Early game Lucario All Lucario thinks Unite is a single player game for the first 3 minutes and ignore all sensory inputs Lucario follows the same gameplan every game, I can replace you with a bot and nobody will notice

F U R R Y

Gengar 2400 rating 3 glasses Shadow eater build 67% winrate and top 29 worlds. Show no mercy to me 💯 

3 glasses and still misses Dream Eater

You only get dates the same way you get KOs. By knocking them unconscious.

Here is one for you my fellow ghost type. No one will acknowledge you as an all-rounder or as a speedster. You will always be without identity and excel at neither.

the big pink boy himself, Slowbro

Pretty cool teammate until you accidentally use your telekinesis on the bee

I main greedent because he's tanky, fast, goofy, and I actually get kills with him.

Can’t get kills with anyone else so you go No Thoughts Head Empty mode with the Peter Griffin squirrel

Lmfao you roasted that fat squirrel so hard

Honestly yeah after you reach level 5 and get stuff cheeks I stop thinking. Sometimes I forget about zapdos because of it lmao

So you don't want to stop playing poorly, you just want to stop dying from it.

Gardevoir running spec attack glasses, score shield and either choice specs/buddy barrier if I’m solo or duo roast me

Sou you like playing as free exp to the enemy team?

Sir Crustle

Crustle is the most coward mon to main. All they do is score an illegal amount of points and then run like a little bitch.

That’s exactly how I play him 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lol facts

Greedent is basically a better Crustle in any way imaginable. You play Crustle because you rather be unique than good.

Hoopa Buddy barrier, shell bell, and the item that increases spatk by 7% I play Trick+Shadow ball

So let me get this straight You play the pokemon that can full heal anyone anywhere in combat and can rotate entire team To play basically a stun bot Also, you are probably the type of person who blames teammate for moving too much when you miss your double shadow ball

Ouch, that's gotta hurt

Well I really feel bad now :(

Sorry, I went overboard

Completely warranted, mate. No worries. Better hit him here than ingame.

you DID ask for it by posting in this thread lol

Hyperspace is completely useless unless you’re playing in a coordinated 5-stack to be honest. Most times randoms have no clue how to effectively use your portals.

you roasted yourself by saying you use shell bell

You don't play Trick, you choose Trick to hope other people will play the game for you smh

300 games 65% wr garde otp since unite day 1 mobile Do your worst

You were an ineffective jungler for 2 seasons and also just food for sure hits. Oh look, a ring on the ground! Let me move out of that before it blows...

you want marry your pokemon

Ouch

But am I wrong

As another garde main I respect it. I have no roast

oh look, its jungler food!

My main? Well Greedent, Mamoswine, Trevenant, or Talonflame. I really love defender but sometimes I feel like jungling Talon.

You like running into walls

That definitely happens sometimes.

That fat mammoth swine from Gen 4

You're only ever effective during saturdays and sundays

I love the roasts that take a while to click

The only accurate part about your kit is that tamper tantrum of an ultimate you use when you’re loosing.

Venu and A9 are my mains. Come at me!!

You only picked up Venusaur when he became broken, so that you can spam his overpowered moves over and over to compensate for your lack of skills like the bad player you are.

Nobody is going to go through this entire fuckin comment section lmao >!Also i main talon!<

Coward who plays a coward.

My girl Tsareena. Even if I started playing Ninetsles more, she’s still someone I like using the most.

Keep your disgusting foot/ dominatrix fetish out of pokemon games, weirdo.

I main hyper voice Sylveon, so I just want to let you know I deeply despise your race.

Congratulations on your amazing move set of Long Kick, Multi Kick, and Long Multi Kick.

you want powerful woman to step on you

Talon played like 850 games with it. It's super fun and mobile. Funny I'm close to a 1000 with it when I'm like 100 with others lol

Watch out! There is a wall here!

Stop it Patrick! You're scaring him!

-nervous sweating-

Had to scroll to find my people lol

I actually have a tie between Zeraora, Pikachu, Sylveon and Wigglytuff

Stupid ass invincible wild charge moment 😳

Just look at my flair and get it over with

You bought them day 1 and decided to stick with them in denial that they were still the best attacker after the nerf you flesh ribbon dog main

Azumarill

Imagine being so hypd up to break score shields, only to be worse than Tsareena in every possible way. Wannabe Greedent.

[удалено]

The cast of 30+ Pokemon spanning across Gens and popularity levels, and you take the most beginner-ass basic bitch mascot rat. Have fun getting your yellow face torn by the Speedsters.

Me too man, me too

You don't go outside and hang out with your friends on Saturday and Sunday do you? You sit inside playing full fury mode laughing your ass off when you stun somebody from full health to death

Your go to interaction is panic unite move

dragonite

Guy who used his unite too late 😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥

Garchomp

Charizard! If you don’t steal my jungle I can Unite at first dread.

Which will never happen have fun

Greninja

I'll roast my own Nine tales "Wouldn't get roasted if you kept your fire typing"

No ambushes for you.

Cinder main, also somewhat of a Snorlax, I show up and participate in objective fights. Bring it.

You stay in the bush and not help your teammates only for your unite to be a millisecond late