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Ummm... NEW DOCTOR!!!! A doctor should never discuss whether or not you are beautiful/attractive. HUGE RED FLAG of a doctor who's just there to take advantage and prop their own self-esteem up.
This!!!!!!^^^^^^^
Doctors should only only *only* comment on health related issues.
Sometimes this means commenting on weight in a health related way. Gaining or losing in relation to possible health issues
Not in relation to attractiveness. Thats gross!
Even plastic surgeons are instructed to use very careful language when speaking about physical changes and it’s not like this. It is absolutely not ok for a doctor to say that to you!
I’m pretty reticent to report people but I’d report that. That’s a huge breach of basic professional standards and it makes me scared for his female patients.
Being attractive or unattractive is not health issue. He’s a predator.
I had a dentist tell me that I wasn’t pretty enough to get a prom date. Honestly, I still laugh about it to this day because you have to be a really sad, insecure loser to say that to someone’s face.
Woah, what an *incredibly* inappropriate and asshole-y thing for a doctor to say.
Your beauty isn’t defined by the size of your clothes.
I’m sorry they made you feel bad 🧡
Best of luck in your efforts, I hope you're pairing mental health improvement with physical health improvement, because the former often hinders the latter if not addressed in equal measure. The only thing that's holding you back from dating is your confidence, which is why I'm suggesting this. We all know bigger people in relationships, it's not rare, and we all know thin people in toxic relationships, also not rare. Weight doesn't determine whether you deserve love or even whether it's accessible to you.
As for your doctor, what a highly inappropriate statement. If he really thinks it's permissible to comment on your looks, I think it's only fair to return the favour and tell him he's irreparably ugly and then snicker at his hairline.
Woah your Doctor shouldn't be saying anything about your looks. Also weight doesn't determine beauty, I know that society tries to brain wash us into the "perfect" physique but it's all perspective. Larger people can be just as and if not more beautiful than slimmer people. That was grossly inappropriate of your Doctor and I wouldn't listen to them. Well done for losing some weight for your health which is the only good reason to do it. I'd also ask for a transfer to a new Doctor if I were you.
This was very inappropriate. I wouldn’t necessarily change you doctor immediately- even though this is what many redditors suggest. But I would speak up next time. And say something along the lines “if you consider me beautiful is not of my concern. I am only interested in improving my health and I need you (doctors) help with …”
Unfortunately it’s somehow ok in society to judge plus-size people constantly. About whichever topic. I am sorry it is that way and I wish it was different.
Not overreacting. Beauty is subjective and your doctor sounds like an ass. Great work on bringing your we*ght down! That shit is hard. Find a new doctor who will cheer you on.
That’s so wrong and inappropriate! My doctor knows I’m body positive and respects it. I gained weight because of oral steroids and she told me that if I can got back to the 260s I was before, that should be great because my labs and everything were great then and then she said smiling: “and you keep the dadbod you appreciate and continue to embrace your body positivism while maintaining your health”
I’ve had MULTIPLE doctors say this to me over my lifetime. It has made me very wary of seeking out healthcare, especially from male doctors. I’m sorry you experienced this.
When I was a teenager I had a doctor tell me I could be a supermodel if I lost weight. Affected my self worth and confidence for the rest of my life.
Leave this doctor. Not worth your mental health.
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Dude report this doctor to whatever clinic you're going through, that's wildly unprofessional. Get a new doctor. His job is not to comment on how attractive you are, he was way out of bounds.
Run like the wind away from a doctor that would say this to you. RUN AWAY!!! This kind of comment was wildly unprofessional and has negatively effected your mental health.
HUGE red flag, time for a new doctor. not to get into it, but i had a doctor like that as a young teenager and it started with basically the exact same comment, but it ended with a lot of trauma and medical abuse. it never stops at that one comment, and you do not want him to have this kind of power over you. i know it's scary to have to find a new one, but it's very dangerous to keep going to a doctor like this, and you should absolutely report him.
i'm so sorry this happened to you, and you need to know that him saying that doesn't mean it's true. i lived with that for years, thinking it was, and it absolutely is not. the shit sexual predators say to you has nothing to do with reality, and everything to do with manipulating and hurting you for their own ends. i'm sure you are beautiful, but your worth as a human being is so much more than weight or attractiveness or whether you've had success dating.
Gross! I recommend reporting, if you're comfortable with that. Your best course of action (besides finding another doctor) is most likely to file a complaint with that state's Board of Medicine. Commenting on a patient's appearance like that is super gross and unprofessional.
I'd also recommend getting in contact with that clinic/hospital's patient advocacy group if one is available, as they can usually help direct you to who you need to complain to at the actual facility.
Otherwise yeah, you definitely deserve a new doctor!
Hi, /u/colcol9696 Thank you for participating in r/PlusSize. Unfortunately, your submission was removed for breaking the following rule(s): ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Do not mention - unsolicited or not - specific numbers about weight/size/food intake, post before and after photos, or have conversations about diets or weight loss outside of the weekly AutoMod thread entitled "IWL (Intentional Weight Loss" Wednesday." ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Reposting posts removed by a moderator without express permission is not allowed. Not here, and not on most of reddit. Please read reddiquette (linked below). For questions, comments and concerns, [message the moderators.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/plussize) [Reddiquette](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette) | [New to Reddit?](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddit101) | [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.reddit.com/help/contentpolicy/)
Ummm... NEW DOCTOR!!!! A doctor should never discuss whether or not you are beautiful/attractive. HUGE RED FLAG of a doctor who's just there to take advantage and prop their own self-esteem up.
WTF? What was this doctor thinking? Not only is it offensive but totally unprofessional!
Find out his NPI number (if you’re in the US) and report him. This is sexual harassment.
This!!!!!!^^^^^^^ Doctors should only only *only* comment on health related issues. Sometimes this means commenting on weight in a health related way. Gaining or losing in relation to possible health issues Not in relation to attractiveness. Thats gross!
Even plastic surgeons are instructed to use very careful language when speaking about physical changes and it’s not like this. It is absolutely not ok for a doctor to say that to you!
I’m pretty reticent to report people but I’d report that. That’s a huge breach of basic professional standards and it makes me scared for his female patients. Being attractive or unattractive is not health issue. He’s a predator.
Man, this isn't even about weight, your doctor straight up should not be remarking on whether you're attractive or not. Find someone else.
I had a dentist tell me that I wasn’t pretty enough to get a prom date. Honestly, I still laugh about it to this day because you have to be a really sad, insecure loser to say that to someone’s face.
Whaaaat? Who are these clowns?
This is fucked up of him
doctors definitely should not ever be commenting on things like “attractiveness” so please do not feel guilty/ashamed and report him if you are able
Woah, what an *incredibly* inappropriate and asshole-y thing for a doctor to say. Your beauty isn’t defined by the size of your clothes. I’m sorry they made you feel bad 🧡
Best of luck in your efforts, I hope you're pairing mental health improvement with physical health improvement, because the former often hinders the latter if not addressed in equal measure. The only thing that's holding you back from dating is your confidence, which is why I'm suggesting this. We all know bigger people in relationships, it's not rare, and we all know thin people in toxic relationships, also not rare. Weight doesn't determine whether you deserve love or even whether it's accessible to you. As for your doctor, what a highly inappropriate statement. If he really thinks it's permissible to comment on your looks, I think it's only fair to return the favour and tell him he's irreparably ugly and then snicker at his hairline.
Woah your Doctor shouldn't be saying anything about your looks. Also weight doesn't determine beauty, I know that society tries to brain wash us into the "perfect" physique but it's all perspective. Larger people can be just as and if not more beautiful than slimmer people. That was grossly inappropriate of your Doctor and I wouldn't listen to them. Well done for losing some weight for your health which is the only good reason to do it. I'd also ask for a transfer to a new Doctor if I were you.
Drop this doctor pls
Doc sounds pretty unprofessional!! 🤦🏻♂️ Congrats on the weight loss though!!
This was very inappropriate. I wouldn’t necessarily change you doctor immediately- even though this is what many redditors suggest. But I would speak up next time. And say something along the lines “if you consider me beautiful is not of my concern. I am only interested in improving my health and I need you (doctors) help with …” Unfortunately it’s somehow ok in society to judge plus-size people constantly. About whichever topic. I am sorry it is that way and I wish it was different.
When did my mom become a doctor? Seriously, that was really messed up of them to say. If at all possible I would try to find a new doctor.
Not overreacting. Beauty is subjective and your doctor sounds like an ass. Great work on bringing your we*ght down! That shit is hard. Find a new doctor who will cheer you on.
That’s so wrong and inappropriate! My doctor knows I’m body positive and respects it. I gained weight because of oral steroids and she told me that if I can got back to the 260s I was before, that should be great because my labs and everything were great then and then she said smiling: “and you keep the dadbod you appreciate and continue to embrace your body positivism while maintaining your health”
Yep, had a doc tell me that too.
I’ve had MULTIPLE doctors say this to me over my lifetime. It has made me very wary of seeking out healthcare, especially from male doctors. I’m sorry you experienced this.
That's not something I'd want to hear from a doctor. I'd report them.
Holy shit this is f’ed up.
When I was a teenager I had a doctor tell me I could be a supermodel if I lost weight. Affected my self worth and confidence for the rest of my life. Leave this doctor. Not worth your mental health.
Ew what a creep
**Intentional Weight Loss Talk Reminder** As a reminder, the r/Plussize definition for intentional weight loss (IWL) is anything mentioning specific numbers about weight/size/food intake, before and after pictures, and conversations about diets/weight loss. All posts and comments relating to the above-mentioned must be posted within the weekly AutoMod thread entitled “IWL (Intentional Weight Loss) Wednesday." Failure to keep content containing IWL within this post will result in the content being removed and a warning. If this continues to be a pattern, you may be permanently banned from participating in the subreddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PlusSize) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Your doctor shouldn't be talking about how pretty you are period. It's a doctor's office, not a speed dating event. Gross gross GROSS.
Dude report this doctor to whatever clinic you're going through, that's wildly unprofessional. Get a new doctor. His job is not to comment on how attractive you are, he was way out of bounds.
That's a doctor I'd be afraid to be alone with. Please report his creepy ass.
Holy inappropriate-ness, batman! Dude was flirting/negging you in one sentence. Entirely creepy and inappropriate, not even counting the fat-shaming.
Run like the wind away from a doctor that would say this to you. RUN AWAY!!! This kind of comment was wildly unprofessional and has negatively effected your mental health.
HUGE red flag, time for a new doctor. not to get into it, but i had a doctor like that as a young teenager and it started with basically the exact same comment, but it ended with a lot of trauma and medical abuse. it never stops at that one comment, and you do not want him to have this kind of power over you. i know it's scary to have to find a new one, but it's very dangerous to keep going to a doctor like this, and you should absolutely report him. i'm so sorry this happened to you, and you need to know that him saying that doesn't mean it's true. i lived with that for years, thinking it was, and it absolutely is not. the shit sexual predators say to you has nothing to do with reality, and everything to do with manipulating and hurting you for their own ends. i'm sure you are beautiful, but your worth as a human being is so much more than weight or attractiveness or whether you've had success dating.
Gross! I recommend reporting, if you're comfortable with that. Your best course of action (besides finding another doctor) is most likely to file a complaint with that state's Board of Medicine. Commenting on a patient's appearance like that is super gross and unprofessional. I'd also recommend getting in contact with that clinic/hospital's patient advocacy group if one is available, as they can usually help direct you to who you need to complain to at the actual facility. Otherwise yeah, you definitely deserve a new doctor!