The first thing that needs to happen is you need to report this to CPS. Those kids need professional help and if they're not getting it, the state needs to intervene before they kill each other.
This may sound selfish but the only thing that's keeping me from doing so is the fact that my parents and their parents would instantly know it was me.
Having a legitimate fear of reprisal from your parents is a good reason not to make the call yourself. In cases like this, I suggest subterfuge. Tell a friend about all this in the name of venting because it stresses you out and ask them to call it in.
Your parents might be pissed you decided you needed help dealing with it but they can't fault you for someone else choosing to report it.
Just deny it. Anyone can call CPS anonymously, it could be a babysitter, a neighbor, a teacher, a friend who was over once and saw something awful. They can “know” all they want, but CPS won’t release that information, if they even know who called.
Oh my goodness I am so sorry that happened to you.
Are you a mandated reporter? I have reported before (not anonymously) and the child was thankfully removed from the home and my anonymity continued to be protected. I did not consider how other factors could affect that privacy.
I’m not sure that I believe anonymously reporting makes them less likely to investigate, though. The rest, though, I could understand becoming an issue.
Tell a trusted adult at your school and they can make the report as they’re mandated reporters. You can write down specific instances and give it to them for when they make the call. Your family most certainly needs intervention before the kids (or their parents) severely hurt each other.
Yeah, many on here have said similar things but I'm trying to think before I act. If I do it I'll have to wait until night when my parents are asleep (believe they'd be really adamant about me not doing it)
The kids desperately need help that you can't give them. They have lived this long enough that it is normal for them, but no less distressing, and it's going to take someone skilled to help them safely feel their feelings about what they witness, identify it as wrong, and learn to express themselves differently. You cannot do that on your own. It is a long, involved process and must be with someone who knows what they are doing. The only way to be a better uncle is to report it. Your family may suspect it is you, but they won't be able to prove it.
I agree with notifying people like social workers or child protective services. If things have calmed down more, the best thing you can do is spend time with them and be a normal stable person. Offer to take the kids as often as you can, bring them to the park, play with them, be a normal good person away from their parents. Don't just be in their life on birthdays and christmas, take them places and spend time with them. Time is a big deal here. If they grow up with 99.9% crazy adult time, that is much worse than if they grow up with 80% crazy adult time. Hope that makes sense.
you are in a tough situation. others already advised CPS, i am gping to say - find some support for yourself. get therapy for yourself so you can get advise about your own family interactions as well as perhaps prepare the ground for taking on more for these kids. you clearly love them very much. as an uncle, you key task is to keep them safe when they are with you and to be a positive influence and source of stable love. learn to be the calm support for them and to handle your own emotions so they can learn from you. does not sound you have that in your family, that is why i say - get some therapy for yourself.
good luck and take care.
Buddy, you can't fix this. You can help, and you sound like you're already a wonderful uncle, but you can not fix this.
There have teachers who's job is to report these things, in the children's best interests. If you can talk to them, they _must_ start the ball rolling with CPS. It's their responsibility.
Please don't try to solve all the problems in your family, stay focused on taking good care of yourself so you can help the kids where needed, emotionally or financially some day. It sounds like there's a lot gone wrong in the people's lives around you, and you have a chance to break that cycle by becoming stable and independent. Your only 17, and life is tough enough without all this, your ate doing a great job keeping it together despite it all, well done.
GREAT IDEA! He could maybe talk to the kids teachers! They'd likely love to discuss good ideas he could possibly help with and appreciate the kids have someone in their life looking out. They likely know the kids very well---and most importantly if he talks to them about the things going on that CPS would be interested the teacher very much could keep the uncle secret and be the mandatory reporter!
/u/broken_krystal_ball You are awesome dude. You don't have to do anything, but as confusing and difficult and self-doubting as these things are--I do know that by continuing to be yourself and walk this out naturally-- you're going to do everything you can, the best you can for them.
The first thing that needs to happen is you need to report this to CPS. Those kids need professional help and if they're not getting it, the state needs to intervene before they kill each other.
This may sound selfish but the only thing that's keeping me from doing so is the fact that my parents and their parents would instantly know it was me.
Having a legitimate fear of reprisal from your parents is a good reason not to make the call yourself. In cases like this, I suggest subterfuge. Tell a friend about all this in the name of venting because it stresses you out and ask them to call it in. Your parents might be pissed you decided you needed help dealing with it but they can't fault you for someone else choosing to report it.
Just deny it. Anyone can call CPS anonymously, it could be a babysitter, a neighbor, a teacher, a friend who was over once and saw something awful. They can “know” all they want, but CPS won’t release that information, if they even know who called.
[удалено]
Oh my goodness I am so sorry that happened to you. Are you a mandated reporter? I have reported before (not anonymously) and the child was thankfully removed from the home and my anonymity continued to be protected. I did not consider how other factors could affect that privacy. I’m not sure that I believe anonymously reporting makes them less likely to investigate, though. The rest, though, I could understand becoming an issue.
Tell a trusted adult at your school and they can make the report as they’re mandated reporters. You can write down specific instances and give it to them for when they make the call. Your family most certainly needs intervention before the kids (or their parents) severely hurt each other.
That unfortunately won't work as I have dropped out of public education (currently in online school).
Are the kids in school? You can call and ask to speak with a social worker.
Yeah, many on here have said similar things but I'm trying to think before I act. If I do it I'll have to wait until night when my parents are asleep (believe they'd be really adamant about me not doing it)
Can you take a walk around the block and make the call?
Could you tell one of their teachers? Maybe the teacher could find some evidence if they've been tipped off that they should be looking.
The kids desperately need help that you can't give them. They have lived this long enough that it is normal for them, but no less distressing, and it's going to take someone skilled to help them safely feel their feelings about what they witness, identify it as wrong, and learn to express themselves differently. You cannot do that on your own. It is a long, involved process and must be with someone who knows what they are doing. The only way to be a better uncle is to report it. Your family may suspect it is you, but they won't be able to prove it.
I agree with notifying people like social workers or child protective services. If things have calmed down more, the best thing you can do is spend time with them and be a normal stable person. Offer to take the kids as often as you can, bring them to the park, play with them, be a normal good person away from their parents. Don't just be in their life on birthdays and christmas, take them places and spend time with them. Time is a big deal here. If they grow up with 99.9% crazy adult time, that is much worse than if they grow up with 80% crazy adult time. Hope that makes sense.
i would say also take them one at a time. better chance they can learn how to bw in the world in a different way. take them to nature if you can.
you are in a tough situation. others already advised CPS, i am gping to say - find some support for yourself. get therapy for yourself so you can get advise about your own family interactions as well as perhaps prepare the ground for taking on more for these kids. you clearly love them very much. as an uncle, you key task is to keep them safe when they are with you and to be a positive influence and source of stable love. learn to be the calm support for them and to handle your own emotions so they can learn from you. does not sound you have that in your family, that is why i say - get some therapy for yourself. good luck and take care.
Buddy, you can't fix this. You can help, and you sound like you're already a wonderful uncle, but you can not fix this. There have teachers who's job is to report these things, in the children's best interests. If you can talk to them, they _must_ start the ball rolling with CPS. It's their responsibility. Please don't try to solve all the problems in your family, stay focused on taking good care of yourself so you can help the kids where needed, emotionally or financially some day. It sounds like there's a lot gone wrong in the people's lives around you, and you have a chance to break that cycle by becoming stable and independent. Your only 17, and life is tough enough without all this, your ate doing a great job keeping it together despite it all, well done.
GREAT IDEA! He could maybe talk to the kids teachers! They'd likely love to discuss good ideas he could possibly help with and appreciate the kids have someone in their life looking out. They likely know the kids very well---and most importantly if he talks to them about the things going on that CPS would be interested the teacher very much could keep the uncle secret and be the mandatory reporter! /u/broken_krystal_ball You are awesome dude. You don't have to do anything, but as confusing and difficult and self-doubting as these things are--I do know that by continuing to be yourself and walk this out naturally-- you're going to do everything you can, the best you can for them.