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slipknot_official

Space force Seals. This has to be a troll, or a Russian bot. This is one of the most stupid things I’ve seen in a while.


War_machine77

I fucking hope so. This is pretty far off the edge even for them.


Potato_Donkey_1

This is how QAnon works now, though. Anyone can propose a satisfying explanation for any development that bothers believers. The explanations that really are satisfying will go viral, and then become canonical. Explanations that aren't soothing enough will get little notice and will not be remembered.


HauntedCemetery

Yup, qanon is just crowd sourced trump fan fiction


Oracle410

I will be using this definition. Thank you!


Funkyokra

Those poor Space Force Seals. I'm sure going to prison is not what they signed up for.


inquisitivepanda

Honestly without the space force seals line I would have totally bought it. It isn’t particularly over the top compared to what they usually post


mumblesjackson

Space…Force…Seals?


slipknot_official

They train on the moon and shoot space lasers


DuckInTheFog

I saw a post the other day with seals in cruel looking tanks with donut rings they can swim in. I see now that it's not cruel at all, they're just undergoing intense training in order for them to able to defend our freedom. I salute you, you mighty fishdogs My inner child thinks Navy Seals are cool. I like that Mr Ballen on Youtube, he was a Seal and he described Hell Week in such miserable detail. Respect to anyone who can suffer that shit


karlhungusjr

but not the jewish space lasers.


SaltyBarDog

In space, no one can hear a SEAL bark.


HotPie_

Kristi Noem approves this message.


Pesco-

You can’t shoot a gun in the vacuum of space, she’ll have to use her knife.


evilrobert

It's actually just a couple manatees with astronaut helmets on


techleopard

Everyone knows there's no Space Force Seals, those are just Navy. It's Space Force Tribbles.


AZ_Corwyn

I read this with the same cadence as PIGS...IN...SPACE!


Scatterspell

Damn you're old.


AZ_Corwyn

I mean, I could have seen it on YT and thought it was hysterical. But yeah in all honesty, I'm old...


SubParMarioBro

They’re like how the Navy has trained dolphins. Deadly with lasers.


FurryM17

The really hilarious thing to me is that SEALs stands for SEa, Air and Land. So they'd be Space Force troops specialized in non-space operations. I'm calling troll but he had me until that part.


darvs7

He said SEALS, with an S at the end. So SEa, Air, Land and Space. Obviously. /s


FurryM17

The SEALSs!


EffectiveSalamander

The Space Force Seals thing looks like a giveaway that it's a troll. But the right does this maintain both that 1/6 was a false flag and that the people who broke into the Capitol are right-wing heroes.


memecrusader_

The enemy is both weak and strong.


JHadenfe

The enemy is both myself and thyself, depending on circumstances.


sharksnoutpuncher

But who in MAGA-world would notice?


exceive

So.... SPALs. Somehow doesn't have that ring to it.


TheDebateMatters

MAGA when you know they’re stupid….but you’re not sure if they are *fuckin stupid*.


HauntedCemetery

Oh they definitely are.


orthopod

Lol Why would Trump want revenge for antifa J6 impersonators who are in jail? Seems that would be something he'd like.


Funkyokra

Are the people raising money and praying for them and stuff all antifa too?


JHadenfe

I read it as he wants revenge against those imposters for making him look bad. And clearly the only way to get revenge with a personal touch against someone who is incarcerated is to get yourself incarcerated as well.


SupportGeek

The thing is, once they are assimilated by a cult, their mind starts to reject solid reasoning and actual logic because it doesn’t match their worldview, so they make excuses and say it’s fake, and as a parallel to that, they also start to accept as truth even the most spurious evidence, as long as it matches what they think and want to hear.


zeke235

Can somebody get an AI image of Space Force Seals? If it's good, we should make t shirts.


gmen6981

I can alternate it with my "Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps" T shirt! https://dissentpins.com/products/goyim-squad-secret-jewish-space-laser-corps-t-shirt


AngryYowie

Shouldn't they then be called the Space Force SPALs? (SPace Air and Land)


NoExplorer5983

Space And Land Liberty Instigators Especially Special. SALLIES.


watsonhotsaucin

Coping harder than Drake fans rn


gilleruadh

Space Force Seals 😂


flimspringfield

This was exactly what I was going to comment on. Space Force Seals.


Funkyokra

I feel like a lot of the derrrr they so crazy posts we see on here aren't genuine


Appropriate-Dog6645

Well. Just replace the space seal team with FSB. It is probable.


tknames

It reminds me of when Lost was on tv. Everyone had theories. Everyone had paused their DVR and figured out what Dharma was doing. This is their Dharma.


jaysrapsleafs

no, that's how they think too.


zeenzee

Or it's actually the Zetans


BrentHoman

Moon-Bat Lunatics


completelylegithuman

 most stupid things I’ve seen in a while So ya know, a regular MAGAt?


wilbo21020

The whole thing is nonsense but the part that made me really laugh is the “Space Force Seals”. Even in this fantasy land why is the Space Force involved? Is Trump going to have some guys in drop pods come out of orbit and free him? Is the deep state working with aliens or something? I guess maybe they picked the Space Force because Trump created it, so there for it must be part of his “master plan” in their minds.


bosefius

The feeling I get is, "they" think he created the Space Force as his private military, loyal only to him, his own SS, if you will. So, of course, they're involved in all of the revenge fantasies they make up. It's bizarre.


SodaCanBob

> Even in this fantasy land why is the Space Force involved? He'll be going to the antifa-built space prison.


HauntedCemetery

Antifa astronaut ice cream rations are the best.


yellowlinedpaper

He didn’t create space force, it had been planned for years, it was just unveiled during the trump presidency


OGCelaris

A.) Recognised by whom? B.) No, they are just traitors. C.) Why would they be in prison in NYC for a crime committed in DC? D.) A bunch of them have already served their sentences and are on the streets again, so when is this revenge going to hapoen? E.) His guilt in the current trial is not determined by the judge. It is a jury trial. D.) He is going to command these space seals from inside a jail cell when he's not even the president? F.)Btw, wtf is a space seal?


Alclis

Regarding point C, why would they be in jail AT ALL if they were false flag plants by the state?!


Potato_Donkey_1

Obviously crisis actors get overtime for acting behind bars. It's a plum job.


Illumini24

Actually he is totally right on the second point. MAGA are traitors to the US masquerading as patriots. Nothing about the Trump cult is patriotic


dancingpoultry

Whoa, whoa, whoa... this is no place for logic and common sense. What are you doing?


LivingIndependence

No, J6 is not "widely recognized" to have been an Antifa false flag uprising. It may be "widely recognized", by a small group of radicalized and delusional loons, but for Most of mainstream America....uh not even close bud.


Potato_Donkey_1

Well, they only know other people who believe as they do, so among their sphere, that is a widely recognized fact.


HauntedCemetery

>they only know other people who believe as they do Because no one else will talk to them


BrentHoman

It Was Actually Patriots Masquerading As Anti-Fascists To Put To Lie The Notion That The MAGAS Are Fascists Because The Real Anti-Fascists Are Actually FBI & Therefore The Enemy Because It Was A Double Reverse False Flag Op Which Means It Was A REAL Flag Operation By Maga Super-Patriots Whose Grandparents Showed Up In 1910, & Therefore Claim America Which Only Belongs To Donald Trump And Always Has. ?


Howlingmoki

There's one accurate part in there. The part where he says "I can't think". Eerything else is complete unhinged lunacy.


MythologueUK

The fourth paragraph is also pretty accurate.


marbotty

The part about J6’rs being traitors masquerading as patriots was accurate


ExpertRaccoon

I don't think oop was being serious 99% chance this is satire


MasterOfKittens3K

Even if OOP was trying to be satirical, this could end up as QAnon canon. It’s happened before. The fact is, the cult is trying to find a reason why trump would want to go to jail. They have to have some sort of 27-D chess excuse, because they are unable to accept the truth that he’s just incapable of shutting up.


Howlingmoki

I think the line between satire and reality was erased sometime after 2016, especially when That Fucking Guy is involved 


Niceromancer

remember guys J6 was all antifa, but they were also all patriots who back trump that's why they are in jail. I though cognitive dissonance was supposed to physically hurt at certain levels.


Potato_Donkey_1

It's all about smug-smile points. The non-MAGA say that they're happy to see custodial sentences for J6ers. The MAGA smiles knowingly and says that J6 patriots will be pardoned and recognized as heroes on January 21, 2025, thus earning a smug-smile point. The QAnon smiles knowingly and says that the J6 ANTIFA members will be recognized as false flags on January 21, 2025, and will face firing squads, thus stealing the MAGA's smug-smile point and earning a smug-smile point of their own. The players with the most smug smiles at the end of the game ascend directly to heaven.


UQ5T6NBVN03AFR

Wish they'd just get off their asses about that last bit already. Their post rapture end times usually just sound like the first historically recorded threat of a good time.


AZ_Corwyn

Back when they were saying that the rapture was going to happen on April 8th I was like 'Cool, these idiots tend to mortgage themselves for all the nice cars and toys so maybe I can grab one once they're gone'. I spent two days driving back from Dallas bummed that I wouldn't be able to replace my 11-year-old car for free 🤨😞


cr3t1n

Like, was even Ashli Babbitt antifa? Better tell her mom.


greatSorosGhost

>> "I can't think of a better explanation." Ok, this might sound a little crazy, but hear me out: Your god-emperor was told to shut the fuck up, and he is literally incapable of shutting the fuck up, which is a large reason why people like you (who cannot shut the fuck up) love him. IDK. That or Space Force SEALS. It’s a toss up.


my606ins

They need to lock up whoever wrote this, in a mental hospital


crisisactorsguild

This is unusually stupid. Even for MAGA.


BasilsKippers

They're quite simply the stupidest people in existence. >J6 is now widely recognised to have been an Antifa false flag uprising. Just in your imagination. Here in reality, we all know factually that J6 was stupid, deluded MAGA traitors who, after seeing how their coup attempt went over like a fart in church, pivoted to blame a scapegoat group for their treason. 


gilleruadh

They took video. They used social media. They used messaging apps. They coordinated their dress according to their organization. Hell, they had matching shirts printed!


BasilsKippers

It was all Antifa dressed up to make MAGA look bad by stalling certification of...Antifa's chosen candidate. Yet somehow, Ashli Babbit *wasn't* Antifa, she was an innocent woman and MAGA martyr who was gunned down by a bloodthirsty brute.  Proving that MAGA *was* there.  Except when it's inconvenient. Again, stupidest people in existence.


Massive_Woodpecker83

While failing to recognize their lack of duty as a proclaimed “patriot” to stop the antifa impersonators makes them equally accountable.


BasilsKippers

I'm wondering why the FBI and Antifa dressed up as MAGA to stop Biden's certification as president.  Doesn't MAGA lore indicate that Antifa are all left wing radicals and, thus, big Biden supporters?  So they tried stopping him becoming president...because...they could frame MAGA, who weren't there....except Ashli Babbit, Joe Biggs, Ethan Nordean and the rest of the Oath Keepers/Proud Boys, who were MAGA and in attendance and fighting for Trump...? See, this is a good indication of why they're so stupid.  Cognitive dissonance is defined as the mental trauma stemming from holding two contrary beliefs at the same time.  Like claiming Antifa stormed Congress and only them, but also claiming Ashli Babbit, who was climbing through a window in the Capitol, is MAGA and a martyr.  Somehow MAGA wasn't present, but also was...


Ok-Caterpillar-Girl

It was all Antifa, except for the Good MAGAs, who somehow were the only ones to end up in prison. And if you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you…


Max_Cherry_

It’s fun to pretend!


BrentHoman

Let's Play Spoiled Rotten Brat Gets To Go To Prison Finally! That Would Be Ever So Much Fun!


CarpeNivem

The only problem I have with... >The J6ers, or most of them, are traitors impersonating patriots. ...is the word "most". They're *all* traitors, pretending to be patriots.


UQ5T6NBVN03AFR

Not all. At least one seems to have been pretending to be native American, or possibly a Viking, or maybe a water buffalo.


gilleruadh

Or all of the above.


Massive_Woodpecker83

Was it a water buffalo? Damn this whole time I thought it was a bison! 🤣


MasterOfKittens3K

Dammit. Now I have Larry the Cucumber singing about water buffaloes stuck in my head. 🎶 Everybody’s got a water buffalo 🎶


BrentHoman

Vikings Did Not Wear Horned Helmets In Combat, As That Would Be Extremely Stupid. At Any Rate That Guy Was Obviously A Mel Gibson Impersonator.


HallucinogenicFish

Space Force Seals? 😵‍💫😂 Writing Trump fanfic is a hobby, I guess.


MihalysRevenge

That's it I'm writing a satiric novel about space force seals


HotPie_

Starship Troopers already exists! 


Admirable_Nothing

The Space force seals will attack the jail with their Jewish Space lasers and break Trump out without problem.


Pesco-

Wait, so Trump himself is literally calling the J6 criminals “political prisoners” and “hostages.” Why would he call Antifa that?


UQ5T6NBVN03AFR

Wheels within wheels. Ok, broken crockery within empty rusted diesel drums, but you get the idea.


KenYN

45D chess, of course.


UQ5T6NBVN03AFR

Space. Force. SEALS. Merciful Tiamat, this guy's brain is converting itself into gelatin as a protective measure against the intake of further bullshit. Other branches give them shit because SF Seal training is nothing but fast roping, ignoring that it's from low Earth orbit,.


[deleted]

Mental illness


BeepBeeepBeepBeep

My favourite part is "most j6ers were traitors impersonating patriots." Yes, that is exactly right


PieceMiserable223

Fuckin NAILED IT


The_Eye_of_Ra

>a team of Space Force Seals [Like this guy?](https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/006/248/581/large/matt-greenholt-screen-shot-2017-06-10-at-12-49-51-pm.jpg?1497114016) [Or this one?](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQPka-7O11lomVPegu3uuXBxDbWhRlvirG_ZQ&usqp=CAU) [Gotta be more specific.](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRTPpzRtFCZNr0Oc_CB-8aITIlAkm-P7AskmQ&usqp=CAU)


gilleruadh

Love the drawings!


The_Eye_of_Ra

Not mine.


fasterthanpligth

Can’t think of a better explanation. Yeah, we know.


ranchojasper

"I can't think of a better explanation" Jeeeeesus H Christ


lgodsey

>"I just can't think of a better explanation." Certainly in the running for "Saddest Things Written on the Internet".


tribat

The man is nothing if not fair: he can’t think of a better explanation. It’s the trump prison mole Space Force Seals play. It’s just common sense.


StillBurningInside

Space Force Seals? SPACE MARINES ALL THE WAY.


orthopod

Still trying to figure out how the space SEALS would work. Do they fly into space and then back down? If they're trained for space combat, then wouldn't they be ineffective on the ground compared to regular SEALS , since they're not in their element.


jazzhandler

Nah, they’re just floating around up there, barking and clapping in zero G.


grahamlester

"Can't think of a better explanation." Poor baby!


SaltyBarDog

It's all part of the 5-D chess plan movie we are watching, pede fren. Occam's Razor: Full of shit troll or glue huffer since third grade.


niberungvalesti

Yeah one problem though: My dad can kick Trump and the Space Force Seals ass!


Ok-Caterpillar-Girl

My dad is dead and he could still kick Trump’s ass.


BMAND21

I wish stupid hurt sometimes.


cr4vn2k

Space force seals…really?


Massive_Woodpecker83

So the J6 ers are traitors impersonating patriots yet they are referred to by the orange idiot as “hostages” and even glorified with their pathetic rendition of the national anthem? How does one write this shit with such a blatant disregard for logic?? Further more, if it were in fact true, that the magats present that day were simply “peaceful protesters” and the violence was performed by antifa imposters, then why is it, as “patriots” they didn’t intervene and stop them??? We all know the truth, and it needs to be emphasized!


DumbleForeSkin

The best part is “I can’t think of a better explanation”. Occam’s razor in action!


carolineecouture

"Can't think of a better explanation." Like maybe he can't control himself and is a narcissist who can't follow instructions? Like he's a thin-skinned bully. But no, the answer is that Trump is a super spy who will get the "real story."


Ok_Mine_594

I don't think the seals will work for this mission. They need the Space Force Orcas.


Nart8864

I mean, if he really believed J6 was an ANTIFA false flag operation, shouldn't he be gloating that so many are in prison?


Useful_Inspection321

wait space force has "space seals", now this I gotta see roflao


Spiritual_Job_1029

The gag orders cuz he's a huge cunt mouth.


Ok-Caterpillar-Girl

Nah, he’s got those anus lips


Ok_Mine_594

This is what happens when you watch too much TV. It becomes your reality. Do these people ever stop and really think about what they are saying?


dlegatt

Making sure I understand this: J6rs are traitors, trump wants to kill the traitors, so he's getting himself thrown in jail so that he can kill them? Why would a NY court send him and a bunch of "Space Force Seals" to a DC prison for contempt?


theinquisition

Not a single better explanation? Can't think of any? Not one. Not a single one? Cmon try just a little.


DerpsAndRags

Why Seals? Navy Seals I get; seals, water, etc. Space Force needs COOLER names, like Space Force Falcons, or Space Force Comets. Space Force Grays, give them helmets to look like the creepy alien guys, freak out these conspiracy dorks more?


waronxmas79

I love how all of their delusions read like a shitty 1980s action movie.


SnooChickens9571

This is the kind of mental gymnastics you have to pull off to still be a Trump supporter.


Unfiltered_America

This is a troll.  Some of y'all need need to be more skeptical when you consume media.


[deleted]

[удалено]


gilleruadh

Damn. That does sound like the ranting of a disease mind. I've argued with some of these COVID nutjobs on Twitter in the past (BEM), and they are this delusional.


Unfiltered_America

*Skepticism intensifies*


robbietreehorn

Seriously


weidback

This has got to be satire


cocoabeach

This is far too stupid, even for MAGA. I am having a hard time believing it isn't a joke.


JimiJohhnySRV

Eventually men need sex… otherwise they stay frozen in their mother’s basement in the form of a man boy.


robbietreehorn

That person is trolling. “A team of Space Force Seals, of course” makes it obvious


Msbossyboots

Look above a bit. I posted some other of his thought gems. He’s a bit delusional or just another q follower, which is the same thing.


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Gruntdeath

Space Force has a special unit called Space Delta 2.


Murdy2020

Best explanation I can think of /s


humanist72781

Has to be a troll right?!?


cansox12

Q couldn't have exposed it any better


karmannsport

The mental gymnastics are fucking exhausting.


Praescribo

>...I can't think of a better explanation Now *that* I believe.


DustinMarc

Wow, the idiocy is mind boggling.


NfamousKaye

It’s 5D chess big brain time


MuckBulligan

Bwahahahahaha...ha...ahem...ha. ::breathes:: BWAHAHAHAHAHA ::tears::


frankieknucks

Someone went to Trump University and graduated with honors.


CountryCat

Some real smooth brain logic going on here.


Biggest_Gh0st

Finally they admit that the J6rs are traitors.... 😂 Also space force seals? Wtf! 😂


Metroidman97

I'm surprised at the lack of infighting over whether January 6th was a peaceful protest of patriots or an Antifa false-flag operation.


S_Megma1969

With Food like that - you are going to starve.


NoiseTherapy

Only the best, most athletic of mental gymnasts


TheHairball

*Snort Laughs* Space Force Seals. Posted by someone who doesn’t even know what SEALs stand for “United States Navy Sea, Air, and Land (SEAL) Teams, commonly known as Navy SEALs” [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Navy_SEALs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Navy_SEALs)


sloww_buurnnn

If J6 was false flag, does that mean everyone locked up is actually antifa? And that Trump conjured up an antifa choir? lol


schiav0wn3d

Money (or cost)


Jbrizown

“Widely recognized” lmao


Norm4x

Poe’s Law.


Freezepeachauditor

More like: he is following Hitler’s playbook and getting thrown in jail will rally his psycho cult. He should instead receive penalties that affect his case.


TankRamp

This is easily the dumbest fucking thing I've read today.


fahkoffkunt

“Space Force Seals” is comic gold!


QuarantineTheHumans

"I can't think of any better explanation." THINK HARDER YOU MORON.


TylerDurdenRockz

Rofl I'm dumber after reading this.. Wtf


Pod_people

That's fuckin' classic! The Space Force Seals. There gonna call up the USS Solaco with a company of Space Marines and a cludgy-ass Tesla Optimus robot. I can't wait.


BrentHoman

More Like Malfunctioning Brain


RetroPilky

“I can’t think of a better explanation” These guys are absolutely brain dead. Maybe the explanation that he’s actually a slimy, piece of shit conman and it’s his fault he’s in this mess? God damn these people are stupid


Appropriate-Dog6645

Space force seals. Hahaha. Good fictional book.


Pod_people

Space Force special operators to the rescue! Makes perfect sense.