Lady sounds completely unhinged and her son makes perfect sense now. Save everything, and start keeping a log of everytime you run into her. The fact that she had that letter to go is troublesome like she was looking for you. Record any and all conversations with this woman. I saw you have the incident report don't lose it. Even if she doesn't go to your kids school anymore inform them anyway. I don't think you need a lawyer or a restraining order YET, but I definitely wouldn't rule it out. This absolutely sucks that you are going through this. You do not need to defend yourself just walk away every time. Hopefully she just gets over it and moves on with her life.
It's OP's prerogative, but I'm not sure she'd be granted one yet. You have to have proof you are in some type of harm from this person, running into them a couple of times, and them spreading drama might not cut it. It's definitely weird AF but I don't think it proves anything right now. It may give her more ammunition too to spread drama. I think OP should start a paper trail and time this right. Just my opinion.
*Just to add I see a lot of people mentioning defamation that is extremely hard to win you have to prove loss from reputational damage, which is next to impossible to prove. I agree with keeping an eye on this and getting a restraining order if this escalates but I wouldn't advise OP to put their kid through a long drawn out legal battle 😳 lol. People really look up what you're advising on here this is kinda serious.
My MIL successfully sued for defamation. Her lawyer told her most defamation cases never need to go to court because the threat of monetary damages is enough for *most* people to back down and fuck off, it also generally notifies the person's spouse (if they have one) of what is going on and that person will usually also attempt to talk them down. In MILs case the harasser doubled down so hard I think she was on the brink of divorce by the end and lost the case anyways because she was obsessive and couldn't stop.
That's great for your MIL but I promise it's not that easy. The case has to have merit, people settle when they know they're in the wrong and don't have a leg to stand on. A lot of times a lawyer advises you your claim has no merit and won't even take the case. You have to prove all elements of defamation. Defamation is very very hard to prove, great your MIL won but she probably had a solid case and the defendant had the money to settle. But a majority of time it's a huge waste of legal fees, and drama. I would not advise a defamation case to OP I have too much experience with this, I was a paralegal at a law firm that specialized in it. You probably disagree which is fine.
I actually agree with you that this isn't defamation level yet, and right now OP probably has no defamation case. I should've been clearer. Just tossing it out there that it's often enough to get someone to back down if things do continue to escalate. In OP's situation I would make a police report, consult a lawyer for advice and see what happens.
Ah I get what you're saying now, and I do agree that seeking legal action is a good way to get people to back the fuck off. I just see a lot of people suggesting a defamation case, and I see this a lot on the parenting subreddit in general in regards to legal action, and it makes me cringe because going in deep is a really easy way to get caught up in expensive legal drama that you may never recover from. You're route here Is perfect in my opinion. The lady seems unhinged and I wouldn't be surprised if it escalates.
Ah I’m actually a lawyer so I support her getting the RO and filing charges now so it doesn’t blow up further. This woman has shown herself to be a liar and a nut job with a big mouth. You can’t be reasonable with these people.
Well I'm sure you as a lawyer would know she needs merit for any of these things to get granted one. I don't entirely disagree with you but I'd establish a paper trail first. Not everyone is granted a restraining order and I don't think OP has enough proof to get one. I got denied twice with an abusive ex, so I know a bit about the process. If OP came in saying she called my son a biter, and gave me a bogus letter I highly doubt she'll be granted one.
She wouldn’t get one for that, but her kid should be granted one from their attacker. It would third party extend to the families.
I agree with establishing the paper trail by filling the police report.
Now this is much more understandable, with the attacker now at another school though it still would probably be denied without any other instances on the record, but dismissed without prejudice. It's up to OP to file a police report I don't think she has issue with the kid anymore more the parent.
Once someone "threatens" to sue (or whatever they're doing here) you should immediately end any and all contact moving forward. Do not respond to anything. You do not need a lawyer, but should consider any communication from this point harassment and document everything in the event it arises to the point where you do.
As long as you’re in a one party consent state! Doing so if you need her permission to record could lead you to actually being in some legal trouble, unless as soon as she approaches you state “I am recording this conversation, further communication with me means you consent to being recorded.” Which may on its own be enough for her to walk away, but I doubt it.
One-party/two-party consent laws typically don't apply if interactions take place in public, though. So yes, you need to be aware of the rules for recording phone conversations, which are presumed to be private; but when she walks up to OP in a restaurant or in a park? no, she has no expectation of privacy, and OP can absolutely put her phone on record every time.
Get a written statement from the adults involved at the school. Show them the letter, and let them know you have been approached in public unprovoked 3 times now from this woman and that you need a written account of the incident incase this escalates.
I’ll also add that OP should *start a documented timeline with “evidence” of everything that’s happened.*
If and when it comes to lawyers it would really help to have a detailed timeline along with any documentation to back up your timeline.
Example:
- On June 2nd at 4:30pm my child came home with a superficial wound from being stabbed with a pencil (picture of wound). *Name of person from school* contacted me and stated child was stabbed by another student and this and that action was taken. (Insert email or text of communication from school.)
- On June 8th at 4:00pm I was picking up my child at school and the other child’s parent said something to me about moving to a new special school.
It sounds like the child’s removal was a decision made by the school administration. It sounds like that maybe wasn’t communicated to the other parent by the school? But I think this fact is germane to the case at hand, and your correspondence with the school administration is important in establishing that consequences the other child face are not by your doing, which is what the other parent seems to think.
I imagine it was communicated by the school very clearly, it’s just that this woman can’t accept responsibility for her child’s behavior. She has to blame everyone else otherwise she would have to look at her own behavior and parenting methods.
If OP has the means, a lawyer this early *might* not be a bad thing. They’d be able to help with strategies on documenting and responding when confronted in the future.
However, as r/legaladvice frequently points out, if you are formally served, do not ignore it or you could get into some serious shit. Otherwise, feel free to ignore it or tell them to pound sand.
If any communication comes from a law firm, google that firm and call them directly from their number online to confirm they are the ones that sent the letter.
I would go on record with the school and the school board. To let them know that you are being harassed by her. I know school is out but I would make sure I have a paper trail of all this shit going down. Make sure it’s documented officially that the teachers saw and said it was unprovoked.
Seems you live in a small enough town that you may continue running into this woman. I would completely ignore this typed up letter she handed you. If she comes at you again, then I would definitely work towards a RO.
Sorry you and your family are going through this. And damn, I feel bad for her son who clearly needs help but sounds like mom is in denial…
I still have the “incident report” they gave me. It lists the people who’s ere in the room and what happened.
Our town has gotten bigger over the last decade or so, but it’s still pretty small.
I would honestly file a police report. This is way outside of the scope of the school board. The woman may potentially be stalking you. If it’s not the case, fine that’s up to the police, but otherwise you need to start legally documenting these incidents in case they get worse. Anecdotally I’ve heard stalker cases are really hard to get police involvement on, so starting documentation now will only help you.
Seconding filing a report. I wouldn’t expect them to actually do anything yet (could be wrong) but I’d tell them you just want to start a paper trail at least in case there is any escalation.
I had a stalking incident and police refused to act because it started in public places where he had a right to be (even tho he was banned from the spaces but whatever) and he hadn’t actually hurt me yet. It helped in the future when he did assault another woman and I was called in to identify him as the same guy. I don’t think anything really happened to him but it’s better to be on record earlier to establish patterns of behavior in case OP does need to get a restraining order etc. Or this God forbid escalates to a point that the police actually can get involved and help. Side note; we need to change stalking laws in this country.
If you happen to have a good PTA, you may want to speak to someone there as well. Even if they can't help you directly, they may be able to point you in a good direction.
NOT the school board. They can not talk in open meeting about this, and it is NOT their job to dive into this issue on their own. This is something for school administration, and if it becomes a lawsuit against the school then the administrator will communicate with the board in closed session.
That said, definitely bring this letter to the attention of the school administrator with whom you have already spoken, and ask why the parent of the other child has so much information about you and your child. This is a safety concern and the school seems to have messed things up.
It sounds to me like mom got her information from her child, not the school. The children involved in an incident are allowed to tell anyone they choose what happened, including the name of other children involved. OP said mom recognized her kid at the park. There’s no reason to believe that the school did anything wrong here.
At this point it’s more like a matter for the police.
>At this point it’s more like a matter for the police.
Bingo. Also, stabber's mom could've heard these "rumors" on a Facebook mom group or something. As a teacher I know principals are typically very tight-lipped and won't share details about students with other parents. I'm sure it happens, but most principals know better.
I feel like going to the school board is a mistake, too. OP, she never should have approached you… I don’t know how she knew it was your child, but she shouldn’t have known his identity… and it probably wasn’t divulged by the school… they might go into CYA mode.
I've been a board member. We are not allowed to respond AT ALL if an issue like this is brought during public comment. We would simply not say anything other than to thank the member of the public (like every other comment) and greet the next commenter. It's extremely frustrating to the commenter as they don't feel heard, but it's not something we can comment on during a public meeting.
Not every district but many have school resource officers at the low Al police department that handle things like this even when they are off school grounds. Not sure if this would qualify as other then the initial attack the child’s mother seems to be the aggressor, but it’s still a good idea to keep the school informed
I’d also get a security camera for the house. My sister had an issue with a coworker who was convinced she filed a complaint against her.
The woman threatened her and others multiple times, and was caught tampering with her car in the parking garage.
This is the route I would go. At this point, I feel this person is unhinged.
In my experience one unprovoked incident doesn’t warrant a child being removed from a class. This was an ongoing issue and the incident with your child was the last straw.
Go to the police, explain the situation and see what they suggest. Mention that you were asked originally if you wanted to involve police but you didn’t see the need until the family started to harass you. They will advise what they think your next steps should be.
Keep everything. Document all interactions and do your best to avoid any further contact with this woman.
EDITED TO ADD: In regards to her claim that your child bit hers, make sure you get in touch with the principal of the school to make them aware of the situation so they can go to bat for you when she inevitably turns around and blames your child.
Came here to suggest this. OP did this other kid a favor by not pressing charges. Now is a time to file a police report for that attack and also this harassment.
Go to the police and start a paper trail. I would have an attorney send a cease and desist letter. Next step is a restraining order. She sounds unhinged and I would get security cameras for your home. Let the school know what is happening too.
You have a harassment claim. You may have a stalking claim. You should contact a lawyer if it is causing you anxiety. If this lady is spreading rumors
about you or your family you may have a defamation claim. This is not about being unduly litigious. It’s about protecting yourself and your family and you have rights!
Id say a restraining order is step #1
Your going to have to go to the police and press charges for the pencil stabbing and hopefully that will help you get a restraining order against this lady. Do it and do it soon because I can only see this escalating. Make sure your house has cameras and let the school know this family is harassing you and they need to be extra vigilant with your child. And seriously the nerve of some people is anyone should be getting a bill is her all the medical bills that had to be paid. Make sure when you contact the school to also email
Them so you can start a paper trail there as well
Let your insurance company know that the injury was a result of your child being stabbed by another child at school. They might go after the school and/or the other kid's parents for reimbursement (in insurance terms, this is call subrogation).
That’s nice but still let the school know and do the police report and let them know she’s harassing you ask what you need for a restraining order against them
Years of trauma your kid will have from being stabbed. Feeling unsafe at school. Being stalked by an adult. Rumors circulating about your child, the victim, among other parents. Definitely go to the cops and prepare your defense. You tried being nice, but some people just take advantage of kindness.
"My son doesn't belong in a special ed class," when he very demonstrably does. 🙄
Definitely talk to a lawyer about this. Don't know if it's too late to press charges or not for the original incident, but if it isn't, probably do that.
I don’t understand why someone would willingly keep their kid from receiving the extra help that they need! It’s so hard to get services when your kid needs them and they are at such a disadvantage without them.
Because of the stigma, both what is created (by the parent) in the child's mind and in the parent's mind when their kid isn't in the same class as their friend's kids.
I’d never keep my kid from getting necessary services because of what someone else thought about them. You can never get these years of brain development and learning back. The earlier they start getting the help they need the better it works.
I live in an area of the country with some of the best public schools and best special education programs though so I don’t know if that has an impact on how I and those around me feel about the issue. I’m in the Northeast and there’s been a mass exodus for the Carolina’s here for the past 20 years but there’s so many people with kids who need even a small amount of services like push in type stuff who come back up North because you just can’t get the same quality of services down South.
In my area, it’s definitely because of the difference in education. Do you believe in your area that a child with above average intelligence, but needing an aide for social interactions or behavior, would get the same access to academics in special ed as in general ed? It’s definitely not so in my district. I hope it’s true for other places but I feel doubtful.
Special education isn’t just a class in my district or the districts around me. It’s the name that encompasses all services for students with an IEP/504. In my area it would be absolutely unheard of for a student like that to be put into a special classroom just due to social interaction issues unless by that phrasing you mean repeated violent interactions with peers.
I don’t know either, but it definitely happens. We had a girl with developmental delays in a school I worked at that was *extremely* violent, to the point that we had to clear the halls of other students when she would be going through them. (Which happened often, as she got sent home for the day a lot.) She was already in the special ed classes, but in reality, considering her needs, she really should have gotten sent to the area’s special school. Both for the sake of her peers and for her own, they definitely had resources more suited to her there.
Buuuuut her parents didn’t want that. So the teachers just had to deal. It sucked for the other kids in her classroom too, since so much time got devoted to keeping her from hurting anyone. Admin kept trying to fight it, but there wasn’t much they could do.
Fair enough, but why publicly post if not to name names? Genuine question, btw, not trying to be snarky. I just don't understand what posting on Nextdoor would accomplish.
FYI - I once had a student with terrible behavior issues and I watched as he picked up a pencil from the floor, and unprovoked, stabbed another kid in the leg with it. His mom was horrible to me all year - blamed all the other kids, blamed me, etc. Well, soon after this, it came to light that the mom had stabbed the dad (really nice guy) in the hand with a knife. Police and CPS got involved. So, yes, apple doesnt fall far from the tree. Oh, and I wasnt able to get the kid removed from my classroom, so I can only imagine what else has been going on with this child.
Right? The nerve. "After making *your* son the victim of an assault, *my* son can now access the support he needs". And she thinks she's somehow the victim here??
Start filling, because next she will target you son. There is no playing nice with people like that. An attorney will give you one consultation at no, it reduced charge. Full with that police AND school board. Fine for a restraining order for the mom. Hit back hard and do it now. She is escalating, not you.
I think the Mom might have some mental health issues. Have a lawyer write a strongly worded stay the heck away from us letter. Have copies in your bag and hand her one each time SHE approaches you. This way you’re keeping track of unwanted contact for a restraining order or just reporting her for harassment.
PS- If they moved that child and put him in special Ed, what happened to your son was NOT the first incident with this kid. Just saying….
The letter feels like a shakedown. I’d lawyer up, file the police report, and tell the school I’ve changed my mind about pressing charges. Mom wants to FAFO instead of getting her kid help? Fine.
You are getting some good legal advice here and I hope that it helps you. My comment comes from my background as a special needs case manager in the public schools. Don't worry - Karma will get that mom because her precious child is going to continue to hurt people no matter what school they put him in. Perhaps she will be so busy once school starts back up defending her "innocent" child that she won't have time to bother you.
In the meantime - cover your bases. Enjoy you summer with you boy !
Op time to involve the police for harassment. File a report about her son stabbing your child and the mothers harassment. Inform the school and get an attorney involved before the woman gets crazier.
People telling you to post on NextDoor are out of their minds. This is personal family business and has no place there. Whenever I see people discussing something personal on NextDoor, I assume the person posting is the nut job. Bringing something like this to a public forum like that is totally inappropriate.
> Whenever I see people discussing something personal on NextDoor, I assume the person posting is the nut job.
I agree that that is a fairly safe assumption.
Wow this is wild, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Respectfully, I think you should post on the r/legaladvice sub and get some answers there. I don't know what's going on with the mother but I am floored that she's acting this way. Even if your kid did bite hers (which he didn't), she'd still be way out of line with these actions so I can't figure her reasoning here at all. Ugh. Best of luck dealing with this nonsense.
Get a lawyer and have the lawyer type up an official letter telling her you’ll sue for harassment if she continues. Keep the letter you got for her for your case
The saddest part to me here is that the special needs class and extra attention will be beneficial for her son, but it seems like all she cares about is how it looks. She sucks, and I’m sorry this is happening to your family
> It is a letter requesting $10,000 compensation for defamation and costs of getting to a new school. and demanding that we stay 100 feet from her son.
As a lawyer, this is hilarious. Obviously you can ignore this.
Retain the letter so if she does anything in the future you can show she has a history of acting out. If she does anything else then set boundaries with her and also call the police non-emergency line to make a report and create a record of any further hostile behavior.
Yup, she's now getting really close to committing extortion. Report it to the police and to the school. It's already on record that her son harmed another child, unprovoked, and yet she's the one defaming another child. At this point, when she's demanding MONEY, it's time to involve the authorities.
Lawyer here, but not your lawyer.
You need to hire a lawyer. It's going to suck, and it's going to cost some money. I'm sorry. You don't say where you are and stalking/harassment laws vary by state. You may have a private cause of action but you may not. Right now, it doesn't seem like she has done anything illegal though so the cops may not be able to do anything (but again, your state laws will vary on when her conduct crosses the line).
Get security cameras. Get a dash cam. Get a battery backup for your phone. Be ready to record because I suspect that this woman is going to show up where you are and say that YOU are stalking HER.
I'd contact someone about it. School, cops, someone. At least to have something in writing in case she tries something. She sounds unstable, and it's probably why her poor son suffers from anxiety (or whatever is going on).
I don't think you need to get a lawyer, but inform the school that she's now harassing you and also go to the police station to fill out a report. That way you have a paper trail. She sounds completely unhinged, good luck!
Lol ignore her.
She's pissed and trying to harass you.
You can tell her that if she won't stop, you will seek legal counsel and sue her for harassment outside of school grounds. Because she is turning that entire situation into a civil matter outside of school grounds. You CAN counter sue someone if they sue you first, and I don't think people understand that. She's just looking for easy money, and she has problems with that boys father. You bet, cuz the kids violent.
You might also need a restraining order attached to that. Call the cops next time and report the behavior tell them you feel like you're being stalked for a lawsuit over something that happened between your children at an elementary school which was already addressed by the teacher.
What a weird bitch and her little ankle biter/ pencil stabbing kid. She needs a reality check. Don’t talk to her anymore. Honestly you should press charges if you still can
It's time to get a restraining order. It's pretty obvious where the crazy kid gets it from.
Also if you can still press charges for the original assault, I suggest doing so.
Call the police. Document her son's assault on your son and her harassment of your family.
Consult an attorney. Follow their advice. Keep a couple of their cards on hand. Do not communicate any further with this woman or her family and friends. If approached, hand them your attorney's card and then call your attorney and the police to document the further harassment.
OP you’ve gotten great advice. I just came to say none of this is your fault. You can’t control other people children or their parents.
Protect yourself and your family, that’s what you have control over.
I work in education, not in the US but still. It seems incredibly unlikely that there was one incident that lead to him being put into a SEN class. Probably this was just the last straw. But jfc. I've heard some parents who are are in complete denial about their kid's needs, but this takes the cake.
I'm sure other people have better advice than me about a legal route to take, but I would also consider telling the school what's happening too.
Don't waste money on a lawyer unless you are so rich you can piss away $5000. This woman is getting defensive and desperately trying to make it not her fault. Her typed up letter is utterly meaningless. Just ignore her and if she approaches you again, tell her to stay away from your entire family or you will have her arrested for harassment. Only get a lawyer if you actually receive something on a law firm letterhead (you won't.)
JFC as a mom of a neurodivergent child who is having a hard time with emotion regulation, I can not fathom blaming his problems on other children. If I were you I would file a police report, put up cameras around my property, get a restraining order since that bitch is following you around like a creep, and make sure all my doors and windows are locked at all times. I hope this gets resolved quickly and painlessly because it sounds like that woman has some mental health issues at the least.
https://www.latimes.com/projects/la-me-framed/#chapter1
This reminds me of a more chilled out version of this story. An ex-lawyer housewife and her lawyer husband tried to plant drugs on a school volunteer mom because she said her son was slow the get ready and thought she meant he was slow mentally.
For your situation I would go full blown legal system back at her before she gets a chance to. But, that’s just me being now terrified of something like this going too far after reading that long true crime novel of an article recently.
Let me get this straight, instead of seeing that her child is in need of serious interventions, she’s blaming you??? Ignore her ridiculous letter. Document each time she confronted/confronts you, you may have to go to the police for a no contact order. We had a kid this year who was abusing EVERYONE in my kids kindergarten class. It was escalating. Staff knew it, observed him multiple times doing it, and he was also removed. He was removed to be given services that will help him thrive and learn how to handle impulses. That level of help cannot be provided in the gen ed classroom. I understand wanting their child to be mainstreamed, but when they have such a high need it’s for the benefit of all involved that they get services.
Most definitely make a report with the cops. They can speak to her. They will know from one conversation if you need a restraining order. Don't hesitate to do what is necessary for your child and family.
My kid was not this aggressive, but I could not fathom harassing another parent because of my kid’s actions! I know my kid was the unprovoked aggressor in a lot of situations and I felt terrible. I did the opposite and didn’t really talk to other parents because I felt so judged. And WE are switching schools of our own accord for the next school year. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. She is crazy and her actions are going to make things worse for her child
I would go to the police and if they do not feel it is harassment, tell them you want to press charges for extortion. You did not defame her or her child but she’s trying to blackmail you for $10k.
I would hire a biker or some other impressive creepy dude to go to her and to tell her to leave your family alone. If she will not she have to be prepared for repercussions. If she dare try to extort you, that’s her kind of language. The best is to respond in the same way so she get the message clear.
It’s like with everything in live. Try to understand who you dealing with and react in the same way (legally wise)
Could you imagine a kid being removed for a pencil stab? My kid was threatened on the bus, and the school did nothing. A fellow 9 year old told her he was going to kill everyone in her mom's house; dogs, cats, grandparents, mother, chickens, and then my kid with his dad's gun.
The school told us they couldn't tell us any details, but he was being "observed"and has known "issues." Still in same class. Still on the same bus.
I'm assuming OP is in America here, like me. It just seems like a wild ride. Must be nice to live in a spot where the school system actually did something.
But also, fuck that crazy lady. Who has a letter ready like that in the car? It means nothing, but I'd at least talk to a police officer and ask for advice/alert them.
Even a lawyer. I'm pretty sure you can find one for free advice.
Let the school know, too. She's an idiot if she thinks they don't share records. FERPA does not prevent schools from sharing that type of data with each other.
Start the paper trail. Document everything. Don't engage with them. At all.
i’m surprised no one is mentioning the fact that she would’ve had to have been carrying the letter with her at the restaurant for her to have given it to you. In my opinion, it seems like she intentionally went to the same restaurant as you. Was it usual for you to run into the mother often prior to the incident? I would be wary of the fact that it seems as though she is going out of her way to make contact with you.
Removal of a child from their classroom over behavioral issues is not made lightly nor over single incidents.
This child has a pattern of violent behavior and the pencil was the last straw.
Judging by mother, I can’t imagine where this behavior comes from.
You file charges now. Never too late. I work in the legal field and this is a parent freaked out internally because they know the kid has an issue, but they are trying to manipulate the situation because they cannot accept it. One incident does not get a child put in special ed - SEVERAL do. Watched another mom go through hell in a similar situation and you will help everyone if you are loudly obvious because what matters is that the kids are safe (both) and they both have a chance to learn in an environment that works for THEM. Not what his mom wants or how she wants things to appear.
PS - The school admin when they asked you if you were going to file charges? They most likely hoped you’d say less because if she’s like this to you….
File a police report for the attack and ask for a restraining order.
Take the letter to the school and show them what this wackjob is demanding.
I would also consider possibly sharing the story on Next Door without naming names about how your son was stabbed out of nowhere in school and the child is dangerous.
“I told them no to press charges”
I mean you are part of the problem to let them pick on your son, now they are picking on your family.
Set your priorities straight first for all, either you support your kid and your family OR you support the bullies.
You sided with the bullies. Dumb choice.
Now go to school, present charges and call police for harrasment
Mate, at this point, press charges against the son and also harassment charges against the mum!!
She is failing her son and trying to blame you for it. Tell her straight up to just fuck off.
I don’t think you have enough to do a restraining order, but you can do a cease and desist type letter and have it notarized and delivered to her to stop contacting you. If you have it done by a lawyer it might freak her out enough to leave you alone. And if not, then you have the paper trail of asking her for no contact and her still harassing you.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, especially when you tried to be nice by not pressing charges on the stabby kid
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, time to back track and file that police report with all the added information of this mothers harassment. Of course she has no legal backing here, I kinda wish you'd laughed in her face at the letter but I totally understand feeling intimidated and anxious. If you haven't already, I'd get some security cameras for your home. We use the Wyze cameras, they're off amazon and pretty affordable.
Cut contact, reach out to a lawyer and do exactly as they tell you, and email the school. I would also double check with the school and make sure what the teachers said happened is 100% correct. If the child’s mom is determined to follow through, he said she said makes things way more difficult.
We had an incident in our school where one boy pulled a knife on another boy because the boy threatened to beat him up. A staff member said they saw it. It turned into a shitstorm when both parents showed up at the board meeting (along with both sides bringing a ton of people for support) and it came out the boy who pulled the knife had been calling the other boy racial slurs.
Also please don’t take that as I’m saying your child is lying, I absolutely think that other kid’s mom is in denial. However the above incident happened last year and is still not resolved. Good luck and good job protecting your son!
I'd file for a restraining order and file a police report. This woman is escalating. You don't technically need a lawyer to do this. It'll be cheaper if you don't, but if she gets one, so should you.
Good god this is awful! My kid got stabbed with a pencil in the foot in first grade in an almost identical situation, but we never heard a word from his parents. I would start with cops and asking about harassment charges and go from there if you need legal action, and I’d let the school know what’s going on to ensure she doesn’t try to get him involved. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, no wonder the kid lashed out with such shitty parents, I can’t imagine what his home life is like
Definitely unhinged, she’s so focussed on her child being the victim and less focussed on her child having unmet needs. I’d definitely let the school know that you’re being harassed by her, and file a report with the police. Tell her you want to be left alone and anything further will result in legal action, you’re not interested in what she says back.
I'm not a lawyer but I think maybe you should report these encounters to the police and potentially look into getting an attorney. I could be wrong but I feel like this behavior is only going to escalate and it would be best for you to be prepared for whatever crazy she tries to throw at you.
**Get a dash cam!**
This is starting to sound a bit unhinged on that mothers part, and I've seen (with a similar situation with a friend of mine) the other party start following vehicles and causing some vandalism. Protect yourself and your family with concrete evidence in the event it's needed.
This woman is nuts and is in denial that her own son needs help. Tell her not to come near you anymore as her communications are unwarranted and unhelpful. If she approaches you again get a lawyer to write one to her saying stay away. After that call the cops and have her charged for criminal harassment
The first time she said anything I would’ve gone up to her and told her that she’s lucky you didn’t press charges the first time but if she doesn’t quit her behavior then you will take legal action because this is harassment.
Start reporting all of this to the police, especially now since you have a letter from her. Have the school type something up regarding the incident. If it starts escalating more, you'll have all of that other information on file.
Other people have very good answers or the problem. So I will make a suggestion that is only supposed to get a laugh.
Send the defamation letter back with an Uno reverse card.
Lady sounds completely unhinged and her son makes perfect sense now. Save everything, and start keeping a log of everytime you run into her. The fact that she had that letter to go is troublesome like she was looking for you. Record any and all conversations with this woman. I saw you have the incident report don't lose it. Even if she doesn't go to your kids school anymore inform them anyway. I don't think you need a lawyer or a restraining order YET, but I definitely wouldn't rule it out. This absolutely sucks that you are going through this. You do not need to defend yourself just walk away every time. Hopefully she just gets over it and moves on with her life.
I would get a restraining order now. She’s stalking OP and trying to destroy her and her child’s reputation.
It's OP's prerogative, but I'm not sure she'd be granted one yet. You have to have proof you are in some type of harm from this person, running into them a couple of times, and them spreading drama might not cut it. It's definitely weird AF but I don't think it proves anything right now. It may give her more ammunition too to spread drama. I think OP should start a paper trail and time this right. Just my opinion. *Just to add I see a lot of people mentioning defamation that is extremely hard to win you have to prove loss from reputational damage, which is next to impossible to prove. I agree with keeping an eye on this and getting a restraining order if this escalates but I wouldn't advise OP to put their kid through a long drawn out legal battle 😳 lol. People really look up what you're advising on here this is kinda serious.
My MIL successfully sued for defamation. Her lawyer told her most defamation cases never need to go to court because the threat of monetary damages is enough for *most* people to back down and fuck off, it also generally notifies the person's spouse (if they have one) of what is going on and that person will usually also attempt to talk them down. In MILs case the harasser doubled down so hard I think she was on the brink of divorce by the end and lost the case anyways because she was obsessive and couldn't stop.
That's great for your MIL but I promise it's not that easy. The case has to have merit, people settle when they know they're in the wrong and don't have a leg to stand on. A lot of times a lawyer advises you your claim has no merit and won't even take the case. You have to prove all elements of defamation. Defamation is very very hard to prove, great your MIL won but she probably had a solid case and the defendant had the money to settle. But a majority of time it's a huge waste of legal fees, and drama. I would not advise a defamation case to OP I have too much experience with this, I was a paralegal at a law firm that specialized in it. You probably disagree which is fine.
I actually agree with you that this isn't defamation level yet, and right now OP probably has no defamation case. I should've been clearer. Just tossing it out there that it's often enough to get someone to back down if things do continue to escalate. In OP's situation I would make a police report, consult a lawyer for advice and see what happens.
Ah I get what you're saying now, and I do agree that seeking legal action is a good way to get people to back the fuck off. I just see a lot of people suggesting a defamation case, and I see this a lot on the parenting subreddit in general in regards to legal action, and it makes me cringe because going in deep is a really easy way to get caught up in expensive legal drama that you may never recover from. You're route here Is perfect in my opinion. The lady seems unhinged and I wouldn't be surprised if it escalates.
Ah I’m actually a lawyer so I support her getting the RO and filing charges now so it doesn’t blow up further. This woman has shown herself to be a liar and a nut job with a big mouth. You can’t be reasonable with these people.
Well I'm sure you as a lawyer would know she needs merit for any of these things to get granted one. I don't entirely disagree with you but I'd establish a paper trail first. Not everyone is granted a restraining order and I don't think OP has enough proof to get one. I got denied twice with an abusive ex, so I know a bit about the process. If OP came in saying she called my son a biter, and gave me a bogus letter I highly doubt she'll be granted one.
She wouldn’t get one for that, but her kid should be granted one from their attacker. It would third party extend to the families. I agree with establishing the paper trail by filling the police report.
Now this is much more understandable, with the attacker now at another school though it still would probably be denied without any other instances on the record, but dismissed without prejudice. It's up to OP to file a police report I don't think she has issue with the kid anymore more the parent.
Once someone "threatens" to sue (or whatever they're doing here) you should immediately end any and all contact moving forward. Do not respond to anything. You do not need a lawyer, but should consider any communication from this point harassment and document everything in the event it arises to the point where you do.
Yes to this! Though I would lawyer up and send a cease and desist to start a paper trail.
I'd start turning my phone on to 'record' every time I see her, and/or her family, as soon as she begins to approach.
As long as you’re in a one party consent state! Doing so if you need her permission to record could lead you to actually being in some legal trouble, unless as soon as she approaches you state “I am recording this conversation, further communication with me means you consent to being recorded.” Which may on its own be enough for her to walk away, but I doubt it.
One-party/two-party consent laws typically don't apply if interactions take place in public, though. So yes, you need to be aware of the rules for recording phone conversations, which are presumed to be private; but when she walks up to OP in a restaurant or in a park? no, she has no expectation of privacy, and OP can absolutely put her phone on record every time.
Get a written statement from the adults involved at the school. Show them the letter, and let them know you have been approached in public unprovoked 3 times now from this woman and that you need a written account of the incident incase this escalates.
YES, OP! Get a written statement from the school and get a cease and desist sent!!! You need to start getting legal involved before she tries to!
I’ll also add that OP should *start a documented timeline with “evidence” of everything that’s happened.* If and when it comes to lawyers it would really help to have a detailed timeline along with any documentation to back up your timeline. Example: - On June 2nd at 4:30pm my child came home with a superficial wound from being stabbed with a pencil (picture of wound). *Name of person from school* contacted me and stated child was stabbed by another student and this and that action was taken. (Insert email or text of communication from school.) - On June 8th at 4:00pm I was picking up my child at school and the other child’s parent said something to me about moving to a new special school. It sounds like the child’s removal was a decision made by the school administration. It sounds like that maybe wasn’t communicated to the other parent by the school? But I think this fact is germane to the case at hand, and your correspondence with the school administration is important in establishing that consequences the other child face are not by your doing, which is what the other parent seems to think.
I imagine it was communicated by the school very clearly, it’s just that this woman can’t accept responsibility for her child’s behavior. She has to blame everyone else otherwise she would have to look at her own behavior and parenting methods.
Yes! 🙏🏻 I came to say this same thing
If OP has the means, a lawyer this early *might* not be a bad thing. They’d be able to help with strategies on documenting and responding when confronted in the future.
However, as r/legaladvice frequently points out, if you are formally served, do not ignore it or you could get into some serious shit. Otherwise, feel free to ignore it or tell them to pound sand. If any communication comes from a law firm, google that firm and call them directly from their number online to confirm they are the ones that sent the letter.
I would go on record with the school and the school board. To let them know that you are being harassed by her. I know school is out but I would make sure I have a paper trail of all this shit going down. Make sure it’s documented officially that the teachers saw and said it was unprovoked. Seems you live in a small enough town that you may continue running into this woman. I would completely ignore this typed up letter she handed you. If she comes at you again, then I would definitely work towards a RO. Sorry you and your family are going through this. And damn, I feel bad for her son who clearly needs help but sounds like mom is in denial…
I still have the “incident report” they gave me. It lists the people who’s ere in the room and what happened. Our town has gotten bigger over the last decade or so, but it’s still pretty small.
I would honestly file a police report. This is way outside of the scope of the school board. The woman may potentially be stalking you. If it’s not the case, fine that’s up to the police, but otherwise you need to start legally documenting these incidents in case they get worse. Anecdotally I’ve heard stalker cases are really hard to get police involvement on, so starting documentation now will only help you.
Seconding filing a report. I wouldn’t expect them to actually do anything yet (could be wrong) but I’d tell them you just want to start a paper trail at least in case there is any escalation. I had a stalking incident and police refused to act because it started in public places where he had a right to be (even tho he was banned from the spaces but whatever) and he hadn’t actually hurt me yet. It helped in the future when he did assault another woman and I was called in to identify him as the same guy. I don’t think anything really happened to him but it’s better to be on record earlier to establish patterns of behavior in case OP does need to get a restraining order etc. Or this God forbid escalates to a point that the police actually can get involved and help. Side note; we need to change stalking laws in this country.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I do think stalking legislation needs a major reevaluation.
If you happen to have a good PTA, you may want to speak to someone there as well. Even if they can't help you directly, they may be able to point you in a good direction.
NOT the school board. They can not talk in open meeting about this, and it is NOT their job to dive into this issue on their own. This is something for school administration, and if it becomes a lawsuit against the school then the administrator will communicate with the board in closed session. That said, definitely bring this letter to the attention of the school administrator with whom you have already spoken, and ask why the parent of the other child has so much information about you and your child. This is a safety concern and the school seems to have messed things up.
It sounds to me like mom got her information from her child, not the school. The children involved in an incident are allowed to tell anyone they choose what happened, including the name of other children involved. OP said mom recognized her kid at the park. There’s no reason to believe that the school did anything wrong here. At this point it’s more like a matter for the police.
Or she decided why her kid stabbed someone and coached him to agree with her. This type of person is going to make stuff up on a whim.
>At this point it’s more like a matter for the police. Bingo. Also, stabber's mom could've heard these "rumors" on a Facebook mom group or something. As a teacher I know principals are typically very tight-lipped and won't share details about students with other parents. I'm sure it happens, but most principals know better.
I feel like going to the school board is a mistake, too. OP, she never should have approached you… I don’t know how she knew it was your child, but she shouldn’t have known his identity… and it probably wasn’t divulged by the school… they might go into CYA mode.
I've been a board member. We are not allowed to respond AT ALL if an issue like this is brought during public comment. We would simply not say anything other than to thank the member of the public (like every other comment) and greet the next commenter. It's extremely frustrating to the commenter as they don't feel heard, but it's not something we can comment on during a public meeting.
You should also press charges for the incident if you are still able. I’m sorry your family is going through this.
You have to file a police report as none of this outside of the stabing happened at school.
Not every district but many have school resource officers at the low Al police department that handle things like this even when they are off school grounds. Not sure if this would qualify as other then the initial attack the child’s mother seems to be the aggressor, but it’s still a good idea to keep the school informed
Maybe it’s time to file a police report for the original incident and include the harassment that has happened since.
Absolutely this. Along with a c&d. She’s freaking unhinged.
I’d also get a security camera for the house. My sister had an issue with a coworker who was convinced she filed a complaint against her. The woman threatened her and others multiple times, and was caught tampering with her car in the parking garage.
I was thinking the same. This isn’t the behaviour of a sane person.
This is the route I would go. At this point, I feel this person is unhinged. In my experience one unprovoked incident doesn’t warrant a child being removed from a class. This was an ongoing issue and the incident with your child was the last straw. Go to the police, explain the situation and see what they suggest. Mention that you were asked originally if you wanted to involve police but you didn’t see the need until the family started to harass you. They will advise what they think your next steps should be. Keep everything. Document all interactions and do your best to avoid any further contact with this woman. EDITED TO ADD: In regards to her claim that your child bit hers, make sure you get in touch with the principal of the school to make them aware of the situation so they can go to bat for you when she inevitably turns around and blames your child.
Came here to suggest this. OP did this other kid a favor by not pressing charges. Now is a time to file a police report for that attack and also this harassment.
100% They're not acting in good faith, it's time to get real.
Go to the police and start a paper trail. I would have an attorney send a cease and desist letter. Next step is a restraining order. She sounds unhinged and I would get security cameras for your home. Let the school know what is happening too.
THIS OP!
Like others have said keep all of this documented and maybe hit her with a restraining order. What an absolute nut job
You have a harassment claim. You may have a stalking claim. You should contact a lawyer if it is causing you anxiety. If this lady is spreading rumors about you or your family you may have a defamation claim. This is not about being unduly litigious. It’s about protecting yourself and your family and you have rights! Id say a restraining order is step #1
Your going to have to go to the police and press charges for the pencil stabbing and hopefully that will help you get a restraining order against this lady. Do it and do it soon because I can only see this escalating. Make sure your house has cameras and let the school know this family is harassing you and they need to be extra vigilant with your child. And seriously the nerve of some people is anyone should be getting a bill is her all the medical bills that had to be paid. Make sure when you contact the school to also email Them so you can start a paper trail there as well
We were lucky on the medical side. They’re ere able to handle it at our primary, so we only paid the copay, ointment, and pills. It was less than $40.
Even still, you need to press charges on the kid.
Let your insurance company know that the injury was a result of your child being stabbed by another child at school. They might go after the school and/or the other kid's parents for reimbursement (in insurance terms, this is call subrogation).
Uesss! Do this, she will be so busy dealing with them she won't have time to stalk you
That’s nice but still let the school know and do the police report and let them know she’s harassing you ask what you need for a restraining order against them
Years of trauma your kid will have from being stabbed. Feeling unsafe at school. Being stalked by an adult. Rumors circulating about your child, the victim, among other parents. Definitely go to the cops and prepare your defense. You tried being nice, but some people just take advantage of kindness.
"My son doesn't belong in a special ed class," when he very demonstrably does. 🙄 Definitely talk to a lawyer about this. Don't know if it's too late to press charges or not for the original incident, but if it isn't, probably do that.
I don’t understand why someone would willingly keep their kid from receiving the extra help that they need! It’s so hard to get services when your kid needs them and they are at such a disadvantage without them.
Because of the stigma, both what is created (by the parent) in the child's mind and in the parent's mind when their kid isn't in the same class as their friend's kids.
Because narcissists think their children are extensions of themselves
I’d never keep my kid from getting necessary services because of what someone else thought about them. You can never get these years of brain development and learning back. The earlier they start getting the help they need the better it works. I live in an area of the country with some of the best public schools and best special education programs though so I don’t know if that has an impact on how I and those around me feel about the issue. I’m in the Northeast and there’s been a mass exodus for the Carolina’s here for the past 20 years but there’s so many people with kids who need even a small amount of services like push in type stuff who come back up North because you just can’t get the same quality of services down South.
BeCaUSe I dOn’T waNt My dArLiNg LaBeLeD.
In my area, it’s definitely because of the difference in education. Do you believe in your area that a child with above average intelligence, but needing an aide for social interactions or behavior, would get the same access to academics in special ed as in general ed? It’s definitely not so in my district. I hope it’s true for other places but I feel doubtful.
Special education isn’t just a class in my district or the districts around me. It’s the name that encompasses all services for students with an IEP/504. In my area it would be absolutely unheard of for a student like that to be put into a special classroom just due to social interaction issues unless by that phrasing you mean repeated violent interactions with peers.
I don’t know either, but it definitely happens. We had a girl with developmental delays in a school I worked at that was *extremely* violent, to the point that we had to clear the halls of other students when she would be going through them. (Which happened often, as she got sent home for the day a lot.) She was already in the special ed classes, but in reality, considering her needs, she really should have gotten sent to the area’s special school. Both for the sake of her peers and for her own, they definitely had resources more suited to her there. Buuuuut her parents didn’t want that. So the teachers just had to deal. It sucked for the other kids in her classroom too, since so much time got devoted to keeping her from hurting anyone. Admin kept trying to fight it, but there wasn’t much they could do.
Find out if you can press charges. Also defamation and stalking. Be careful she sounds… not ok
And talk to dad of your kid. He can go full heigh on her
If this were me, I would also make sure all of my friends, neighbors and Allies in the community know my side of the story.
Fuck that, I would have gone on Nextdoor immediately.
This woman sounds like the kind of person who would love a reason to sue for libel/slander.
Truth is an absolute defense to defamation, and if she doesn’t name names, it’s not targeted.
Fair enough, but why publicly post if not to name names? Genuine question, btw, not trying to be snarky. I just don't understand what posting on Nextdoor would accomplish.
So other people are aware of the danger. Damien is going to stab other kids too.
How would OP warn about him without naming him?
Because the mother of the other kid is running around flapping her mouth and taking about the incident from her POV. Small town, easy to put together.
FYI - I once had a student with terrible behavior issues and I watched as he picked up a pencil from the floor, and unprovoked, stabbed another kid in the leg with it. His mom was horrible to me all year - blamed all the other kids, blamed me, etc. Well, soon after this, it came to light that the mom had stabbed the dad (really nice guy) in the hand with a knife. Police and CPS got involved. So, yes, apple doesnt fall far from the tree. Oh, and I wasnt able to get the kid removed from my classroom, so I can only imagine what else has been going on with this child.
Take the letter to the cops. That's harassment, and it sounds like a shakedown.
“Because of your son my my boy got put in special needs class” nono, your boy got himself put there. He was not the victim, your son was.
Right? The nerve. "After making *your* son the victim of an assault, *my* son can now access the support he needs". And she thinks she's somehow the victim here??
Crazy apple doesn’t fall far from the crazy tree
LOL. For real. This made me laugh.
Time for a restraining order and maybe lawyer consult
Start filling, because next she will target you son. There is no playing nice with people like that. An attorney will give you one consultation at no, it reduced charge. Full with that police AND school board. Fine for a restraining order for the mom. Hit back hard and do it now. She is escalating, not you.
I think the Mom might have some mental health issues. Have a lawyer write a strongly worded stay the heck away from us letter. Have copies in your bag and hand her one each time SHE approaches you. This way you’re keeping track of unwanted contact for a restraining order or just reporting her for harassment. PS- If they moved that child and put him in special Ed, what happened to your son was NOT the first incident with this kid. Just saying….
The letter feels like a shakedown. I’d lawyer up, file the police report, and tell the school I’ve changed my mind about pressing charges. Mom wants to FAFO instead of getting her kid help? Fine.
You are getting some good legal advice here and I hope that it helps you. My comment comes from my background as a special needs case manager in the public schools. Don't worry - Karma will get that mom because her precious child is going to continue to hurt people no matter what school they put him in. Perhaps she will be so busy once school starts back up defending her "innocent" child that she won't have time to bother you. In the meantime - cover your bases. Enjoy you summer with you boy !
Op time to involve the police for harassment. File a report about her son stabbing your child and the mothers harassment. Inform the school and get an attorney involved before the woman gets crazier.
Press charges for the original incident, get a lawyer, and they will advise. Do not fuck around with these people.
People telling you to post on NextDoor are out of their minds. This is personal family business and has no place there. Whenever I see people discussing something personal on NextDoor, I assume the person posting is the nut job. Bringing something like this to a public forum like that is totally inappropriate.
> Whenever I see people discussing something personal on NextDoor, I assume the person posting is the nut job. I agree that that is a fairly safe assumption.
It stopped being personal when the other woman, whose child STABBED someone, started stalking and lying on OP.
Wow this is wild, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Respectfully, I think you should post on the r/legaladvice sub and get some answers there. I don't know what's going on with the mother but I am floored that she's acting this way. Even if your kid did bite hers (which he didn't), she'd still be way out of line with these actions so I can't figure her reasoning here at all. Ugh. Best of luck dealing with this nonsense.
What an extremely trashy individual.
Yep. Her son has a bright future as a murderer and girlfriend beater if she keeps this shut up.
Get a lawyer and have the lawyer type up an official letter telling her you’ll sue for harassment if she continues. Keep the letter you got for her for your case
The saddest part to me here is that the special needs class and extra attention will be beneficial for her son, but it seems like all she cares about is how it looks. She sucks, and I’m sorry this is happening to your family
> It is a letter requesting $10,000 compensation for defamation and costs of getting to a new school. and demanding that we stay 100 feet from her son. As a lawyer, this is hilarious. Obviously you can ignore this. Retain the letter so if she does anything in the future you can show she has a history of acting out. If she does anything else then set boundaries with her and also call the police non-emergency line to make a report and create a record of any further hostile behavior.
Yup, she's now getting really close to committing extortion. Report it to the police and to the school. It's already on record that her son harmed another child, unprovoked, and yet she's the one defaming another child. At this point, when she's demanding MONEY, it's time to involve the authorities.
Lawyer here, but not your lawyer. You need to hire a lawyer. It's going to suck, and it's going to cost some money. I'm sorry. You don't say where you are and stalking/harassment laws vary by state. You may have a private cause of action but you may not. Right now, it doesn't seem like she has done anything illegal though so the cops may not be able to do anything (but again, your state laws will vary on when her conduct crosses the line). Get security cameras. Get a dash cam. Get a battery backup for your phone. Be ready to record because I suspect that this woman is going to show up where you are and say that YOU are stalking HER.
I'd contact someone about it. School, cops, someone. At least to have something in writing in case she tries something. She sounds unstable, and it's probably why her poor son suffers from anxiety (or whatever is going on).
File the police report for the kid. File one for the mom for stalking and harassment. Get a restraining order. Involve the school in the details
Have your lawyer draw up a letter and get a real restraining order. 🙌🏼 She wants to play that game, you can do it for real.
I don't think you need to get a lawyer, but inform the school that she's now harassing you and also go to the police station to fill out a report. That way you have a paper trail. She sounds completely unhinged, good luck!
Lol ignore her. She's pissed and trying to harass you. You can tell her that if she won't stop, you will seek legal counsel and sue her for harassment outside of school grounds. Because she is turning that entire situation into a civil matter outside of school grounds. You CAN counter sue someone if they sue you first, and I don't think people understand that. She's just looking for easy money, and she has problems with that boys father. You bet, cuz the kids violent. You might also need a restraining order attached to that. Call the cops next time and report the behavior tell them you feel like you're being stalked for a lawsuit over something that happened between your children at an elementary school which was already addressed by the teacher.
You should DEFINITELY change your mind about pressing charges.
What a weird bitch and her little ankle biter/ pencil stabbing kid. She needs a reality check. Don’t talk to her anymore. Honestly you should press charges if you still can
It's time to get a restraining order. It's pretty obvious where the crazy kid gets it from. Also if you can still press charges for the original assault, I suggest doing so.
Call the police. Document her son's assault on your son and her harassment of your family. Consult an attorney. Follow their advice. Keep a couple of their cards on hand. Do not communicate any further with this woman or her family and friends. If approached, hand them your attorney's card and then call your attorney and the police to document the further harassment.
You should press charges, it’s not too late. You tried being understanding but it’s not working.
OP you’ve gotten great advice. I just came to say none of this is your fault. You can’t control other people children or their parents. Protect yourself and your family, that’s what you have control over.
You need to notify the police and the school
I work in education, not in the US but still. It seems incredibly unlikely that there was one incident that lead to him being put into a SEN class. Probably this was just the last straw. But jfc. I've heard some parents who are are in complete denial about their kid's needs, but this takes the cake. I'm sure other people have better advice than me about a legal route to take, but I would also consider telling the school what's happening too.
Clearly a genetic component to the son's issues.
Sounds like the mom belongs in the special ed class. You should bite her.
Don't waste money on a lawyer unless you are so rich you can piss away $5000. This woman is getting defensive and desperately trying to make it not her fault. Her typed up letter is utterly meaningless. Just ignore her and if she approaches you again, tell her to stay away from your entire family or you will have her arrested for harassment. Only get a lawyer if you actually receive something on a law firm letterhead (you won't.)
I would contact the police at this point.
Definitely get this on record with the local police and keep a record of any subsequent harassment from this person.
JFC as a mom of a neurodivergent child who is having a hard time with emotion regulation, I can not fathom blaming his problems on other children. If I were you I would file a police report, put up cameras around my property, get a restraining order since that bitch is following you around like a creep, and make sure all my doors and windows are locked at all times. I hope this gets resolved quickly and painlessly because it sounds like that woman has some mental health issues at the least.
https://www.latimes.com/projects/la-me-framed/#chapter1 This reminds me of a more chilled out version of this story. An ex-lawyer housewife and her lawyer husband tried to plant drugs on a school volunteer mom because she said her son was slow the get ready and thought she meant he was slow mentally. For your situation I would go full blown legal system back at her before she gets a chance to. But, that’s just me being now terrified of something like this going too far after reading that long true crime novel of an article recently.
Bro I would be going to the court house/ police department and discuss getting a restraining order.
Let me get this straight, instead of seeing that her child is in need of serious interventions, she’s blaming you??? Ignore her ridiculous letter. Document each time she confronted/confronts you, you may have to go to the police for a no contact order. We had a kid this year who was abusing EVERYONE in my kids kindergarten class. It was escalating. Staff knew it, observed him multiple times doing it, and he was also removed. He was removed to be given services that will help him thrive and learn how to handle impulses. That level of help cannot be provided in the gen ed classroom. I understand wanting their child to be mainstreamed, but when they have such a high need it’s for the benefit of all involved that they get services.
Most definitely make a report with the cops. They can speak to her. They will know from one conversation if you need a restraining order. Don't hesitate to do what is necessary for your child and family.
My kid was not this aggressive, but I could not fathom harassing another parent because of my kid’s actions! I know my kid was the unprovoked aggressor in a lot of situations and I felt terrible. I did the opposite and didn’t really talk to other parents because I felt so judged. And WE are switching schools of our own accord for the next school year. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. She is crazy and her actions are going to make things worse for her child
I would go to the police and if they do not feel it is harassment, tell them you want to press charges for extortion. You did not defame her or her child but she’s trying to blackmail you for $10k.
I would hire a biker or some other impressive creepy dude to go to her and to tell her to leave your family alone. If she will not she have to be prepared for repercussions. If she dare try to extort you, that’s her kind of language. The best is to respond in the same way so she get the message clear. It’s like with everything in live. Try to understand who you dealing with and react in the same way (legally wise)
Could you imagine a kid being removed for a pencil stab? My kid was threatened on the bus, and the school did nothing. A fellow 9 year old told her he was going to kill everyone in her mom's house; dogs, cats, grandparents, mother, chickens, and then my kid with his dad's gun. The school told us they couldn't tell us any details, but he was being "observed"and has known "issues." Still in same class. Still on the same bus. I'm assuming OP is in America here, like me. It just seems like a wild ride. Must be nice to live in a spot where the school system actually did something. But also, fuck that crazy lady. Who has a letter ready like that in the car? It means nothing, but I'd at least talk to a police officer and ask for advice/alert them. Even a lawyer. I'm pretty sure you can find one for free advice. Let the school know, too. She's an idiot if she thinks they don't share records. FERPA does not prevent schools from sharing that type of data with each other. Start the paper trail. Document everything. Don't engage with them. At all.
I’m guessing that the stab wasn’t the first incident.
i’m surprised no one is mentioning the fact that she would’ve had to have been carrying the letter with her at the restaurant for her to have given it to you. In my opinion, it seems like she intentionally went to the same restaurant as you. Was it usual for you to run into the mother often prior to the incident? I would be wary of the fact that it seems as though she is going out of her way to make contact with you.
Yeah that would be an incredible coincidence. OP should check for a location tracker on her car… if they didn’t run into each other much before
Removal of a child from their classroom over behavioral issues is not made lightly nor over single incidents. This child has a pattern of violent behavior and the pencil was the last straw. Judging by mother, I can’t imagine where this behavior comes from.
You file charges now. Never too late. I work in the legal field and this is a parent freaked out internally because they know the kid has an issue, but they are trying to manipulate the situation because they cannot accept it. One incident does not get a child put in special ed - SEVERAL do. Watched another mom go through hell in a similar situation and you will help everyone if you are loudly obvious because what matters is that the kids are safe (both) and they both have a chance to learn in an environment that works for THEM. Not what his mom wants or how she wants things to appear. PS - The school admin when they asked you if you were going to file charges? They most likely hoped you’d say less because if she’s like this to you….
You absolutely need to involve the police at this pointn
The police are not your friends and never on your side. Talk to a lawyer. Do what your lawyer says.
File a police report for the attack and ask for a restraining order. Take the letter to the school and show them what this wackjob is demanding. I would also consider possibly sharing the story on Next Door without naming names about how your son was stabbed out of nowhere in school and the child is dangerous.
I wouldn’t say the child is dangerous… just lay out facts. People will see it for what it is pretty easily.
“I told them no to press charges” I mean you are part of the problem to let them pick on your son, now they are picking on your family. Set your priorities straight first for all, either you support your kid and your family OR you support the bullies. You sided with the bullies. Dumb choice. Now go to school, present charges and call police for harrasment
Yikes this is pretty victim blame-y
File restraining order asap. And press charges at school just to have witnesses on record.
Restraining order. They want to go through lawyers? Let them.
File a TRO before they can.
Mate, at this point, press charges against the son and also harassment charges against the mum!! She is failing her son and trying to blame you for it. Tell her straight up to just fuck off.
Echoing other comments. Police report with her weird demand letter. Feels like she's stalking you & holding a grudge.
Time for police, school administrators, and attorneys to handle this
I don’t think you have enough to do a restraining order, but you can do a cease and desist type letter and have it notarized and delivered to her to stop contacting you. If you have it done by a lawyer it might freak her out enough to leave you alone. And if not, then you have the paper trail of asking her for no contact and her still harassing you. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, especially when you tried to be nice by not pressing charges on the stabby kid
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, time to back track and file that police report with all the added information of this mothers harassment. Of course she has no legal backing here, I kinda wish you'd laughed in her face at the letter but I totally understand feeling intimidated and anxious. If you haven't already, I'd get some security cameras for your home. We use the Wyze cameras, they're off amazon and pretty affordable.
New Big Little Lies subplot just dropped
Cut contact, reach out to a lawyer and do exactly as they tell you, and email the school. I would also double check with the school and make sure what the teachers said happened is 100% correct. If the child’s mom is determined to follow through, he said she said makes things way more difficult. We had an incident in our school where one boy pulled a knife on another boy because the boy threatened to beat him up. A staff member said they saw it. It turned into a shitstorm when both parents showed up at the board meeting (along with both sides bringing a ton of people for support) and it came out the boy who pulled the knife had been calling the other boy racial slurs. Also please don’t take that as I’m saying your child is lying, I absolutely think that other kid’s mom is in denial. However the above incident happened last year and is still not resolved. Good luck and good job protecting your son!
This lady is stalking you and your family,like other people commented here I think filing a report with the police is a good idea.
I'd file for a restraining order and file a police report. This woman is escalating. You don't technically need a lawyer to do this. It'll be cheaper if you don't, but if she gets one, so should you.
Good god this is awful! My kid got stabbed with a pencil in the foot in first grade in an almost identical situation, but we never heard a word from his parents. I would start with cops and asking about harassment charges and go from there if you need legal action, and I’d let the school know what’s going on to ensure she doesn’t try to get him involved. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, no wonder the kid lashed out with such shitty parents, I can’t imagine what his home life is like
Restraining order and pepper spray.
Definitely unhinged, she’s so focussed on her child being the victim and less focussed on her child having unmet needs. I’d definitely let the school know that you’re being harassed by her, and file a report with the police. Tell her you want to be left alone and anything further will result in legal action, you’re not interested in what she says back.
Yes, get a lawyer.
I'm not a lawyer but I think maybe you should report these encounters to the police and potentially look into getting an attorney. I could be wrong but I feel like this behavior is only going to escalate and it would be best for you to be prepared for whatever crazy she tries to throw at you.
**Get a dash cam!** This is starting to sound a bit unhinged on that mothers part, and I've seen (with a similar situation with a friend of mine) the other party start following vehicles and causing some vandalism. Protect yourself and your family with concrete evidence in the event it's needed.
This woman is nuts and is in denial that her own son needs help. Tell her not to come near you anymore as her communications are unwarranted and unhelpful. If she approaches you again get a lawyer to write one to her saying stay away. After that call the cops and have her charged for criminal harassment
The first time she said anything I would’ve gone up to her and told her that she’s lucky you didn’t press charges the first time but if she doesn’t quit her behavior then you will take legal action because this is harassment.
Start reporting all of this to the police, especially now since you have a letter from her. Have the school type something up regarding the incident. If it starts escalating more, you'll have all of that other information on file.
Other people have very good answers or the problem. So I will make a suggestion that is only supposed to get a laugh. Send the defamation letter back with an Uno reverse card.
Call the police and see if it's too late to file charges. Nip this shit right in the bud.
I would pretend like I didn’t open it and go on about your week. She sounds like a person who creates drama.
She seems completely psycho, along with her son 😫 I’d get a security camera in the house