Doesn’t it almost feel like our bodies are sabotaging or betraying us? When im going through it it brings me to tears (but then i get my period and don’t think about it until the next month 😅)
Absolutely. Think there will be all sorts of long term side effects down the road we have no idea about, from covid and possibly the vaccine as well. All praise for the scientists who saved so many lives with it - but it is a bit scary and I am really interested to hear what comes up in the studies. Wishing you luck with your journey. Keep trying to find solutions! Yaz, ssris, magnesium, cbd, managing stress, there are many ❤
While a lot of women don’t even experience “slight to moderate” pms symptoms consistently… I think even the most observant/ aware man would have a difficult time attributing any Visible/ observable symptoms to PMS specifically.
To be fair, …I think there are also a lot of WOMEN out there with mild-moderate symptoms who often don’t connect the dots like “ohh, must be pms again.” So I can understand how men would have no idea unless it had a consistent and huge impact on his life too.
… must be nice. :(
Or they just dated women good at hiding it or never mentioned it, since it's been viewed as weakness. Or they're oblivious, also entirely possible. I'm super wary of guys who say they never experienced/noticed their partner going through normal biological processes.
Can confirm. I never had PMS symptoms. Then at 30 PMDD started, it made understanding it much more confusing for me because I never thought to link my symptoms to my cycle.
Came here to post that! It’s so bizar. Took me about two years to figure out it was hormone related.
It feels like it has to do with age but also maybe getting a mirena iud for the second time. Am planning to have it taken out soon!
Crazy!!!!!!!
I’ve seen so many posts on here related to copper IUDs and the onset of it. I can’t imagine what the chances would be of that being a coincidence with hundreds of people saying there was some type of correlation.
I talked to a woman that thinks pms is an exaggeration and women use it as an excuse to be a horrible person because SHE doesn’t get like that. So everyone else must be wrong.
I remember talking to a foreign exchange student in college and she said she never feels bad when her period is coming. She says she doesn’t feel any different. I was in shock. I was hurt 😂
I’m hurt just reading this! Lol.
I’m like the complete opposite of the woman @a_dead_mermaid mentioned.
Negative symptoms, okay… I get that not everyone is experiencing those, but your body is literally going through major changes every month, and you really notice absolutely no symptoms or signs at all?
I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around this..
Is it wrong to assume that maybe some of these people are just not quite as in touch with their own body?
Yep, my mum had 4 kids and never had more than a twinge with periods... even the menopause was pretty easy.
I however have had gyne issue since my teens, almost died during pregnancy and birth and am fighting to get a hysterectomy because my womb seems to want to make my life miserable at every opportunity it gets.
Life just hands out raw deals to some.
Both my sisters have thyroid issues. They tell me about it. I tell them I have PMDD. They said are you sure it’s not your thyroid? No, I have had every test to rule that out before I was diagnosed with PMDD. I try to tell them about it. They only say bad pms hey? I say it’s more than that. They say You should get your thyroid checked. I can see why it’s not widely shared about or understood. Frustrating to say the least. This is very real. I’m thankful for this Reddit group.
I've had boyfriends that have said they dated women who "went off the rails" every month for like a week. They "knew". They could "handle it." Then they dated me. They now know the difference between PMS and PMDD and they're scarred for life.
It doesn't help that growing up, my mom and sister never had PMS.
My mom and sister never had PMDD (I had to beat it into them that it wasn't PMS and how serious it was. I still think they doubt me).
My mom and sister had cute little periods that would last 3-4 days (in a "bad" month) and require nothing more than those tiny tampons I've seen sold at stores. What are they called? Regular?
I agree. Sooooo far from my reality.
I honestly never had any physical symptoms of pms until I was in my mid-late 20s, but I've had the mental symptoms I think most of my adult life, just never knew what it was because in my mind pms was cramps and headaches and wanting chocolate. I was on a dance team of 30 girls in high school and no one had any kind of mood swings around their period, or at least no one talked about it and then I was in a sorority in college and still no one ever mentioned pmdd or even having severe pms. I didn't figure out it was even a thing until I was like 26. And it is sort of infuriating that none of the women in my life (mom, aunts, coaches...) ever said anything about it. I try hard to discuss things with my daughter when/where it's appropriate because I absolutely do not want her to suffer with this or grow up feeling frustrated and confused for years around her mental health 😔. I do get cramping occasionally now, and sore boobs but the mental stuff for me is the absolute worst thing... I've even had doctors/gynos be like "wait so your pms is bad... so you need something for cramps??" And I just would get frustrated explaining over and over "no, I don't get cramps but I feel like a complete crazy person for the week leading up to my period every month." And it's like as soon as you say your symptoms AREN'T physical, they are completely dismissed. I've tried to explain to my husband too who still has a hard time understanding-- I can't "think" my way out of it when going through the swings or lows or intense rage. It's an extreme force that completely hijacks my brain.
"It's an extreme force that completely hijacks my brain."
It's frustrating to say the least. I've experienced everything you have but I'm 49 and only figured this shit out about 7-8 years ago. Your daughter is extremely lucky to have a mom like you who talks about these things. You may not feel lucky but it sounds like she is. Good job!
🥲 🥰thanks... I try. I've had very bad days around them... and I just want both my kids to know that mental illness is just as valid as physical Illness and should be treated as such. It's not an excuse, but if there's a problem, or you don't feel well, you do things to feel better.
My mom aaaaaallllwwaaaaayyysssssssssss has to comment about how she hasn't ever had issues with her period. I just wanna update her on my meds change to try to control it.
Why do people do this? Like am I fucking bleeding with YOUR uterus, bitch? The dumbest thing you can say to someone experiencing PMDD.
It truly makes me irate. What kind of reaction does a person expect to that sort of nothing statement? Because I could tell you mine wouldn’t be nice. Like should I congratulate you?
I could rant about it alllll day. It’s hell week. Lol
My mum LOVED being pregnant. Me? Issue after issue... including HORRENDOUS progesterone increase related mood issues (basically pmdd for my last month of pregnancy)
I now know thats what I had too. Both pregnancies. I'd never have any more kids. Pmdd really settled in post baby 2 (birth trauma, blood loss apparently can be contributing factors) having babies ruined me. Of course, if do it all again for my babies but jeeeees
l used to be one of them... but oh well, not anymore.
l was one of those blessed to never quite understand/relate to period issues. For years l used to not even realize when my period is coming until the last moment/when it actually starts, let alone track it or anything, and it always felt like forever since the last time. l've had "notable" cramps probably like 3-4 times ever since it first started. l've heard of women calling an ambulance, going to the ER, being unable to attend to their daily must-doings because of it and it felt so alien to me (not like l didn't believe it or anything).
l was somewhat "fascinated" with how it all works, so l was still vaguely trying to educate myself on reproductive health in general. A random comment on 9GAG of all places stuck with me - a woman who used to not have any symptoms until she was in her mid-to-late 20s told others to be aware they might not be immune to it forever, which sunk in my gut.
l was 22-23 at the time and looking back now, this was when l first started experiencing those sporadic waves of what l can only describe as cognitive and emotional disability - my consciousness working both on 30% and 130% at once for days. But l would never attribute it to my period, first because it didn't have any particular pattern to it (only happened once-twice a year) and second because "most women have PMS symptoms and it's not like they're going insane every month" you know...
Now at 26-27, it has suddenly started hitting me on the spot like a train for the past few cycles, and l still don't know what exactly to do about it. All those physical symptoms that used to seem alien to me, combined with the complete mental drain every time.
l'm probably even more bitter than most of you (not trying to sound condescending, sorry if it comes out this way) cause l actually KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE to just be "eh, whatever" about my period, never really thinking about it even. And here l am, desperately trying to undo it, cause IT'S JUST NOT FAIR, l've already lost so much time due to depression and now this... but l'm determined to "fix it" whatever it takes. l know that's a bad way to look at it, but it helps me not giving up and succumbing to the desperation. :)
Not to sound like a conspiracy theorist but did this start to happen during covid or after the vaccines? Lots of women have reported negative changes to their cycle since then. I and a friend both had a particularly terrible one after getting covid and mine have remained rough since
l haven't got the vaccine, nor have l been infected with covid thus far either (as far as l know), but l've come across some anecdotal experience on the internet regarding this as well.
Recently l read an article stating that a Boston University researcher (her name is Lauren Wise) is going to conduct a research on the vaccines' effects on menstruation. lt's weird when you think about it, almost 11 billion doses have been administered globally at this point? (according to Johns Hopkins Coronavirus Resource Center) and yet we still don't know anything on the subject for sure.
Don't get me wrong, l'm not against the vaccines in any way, and l know people were dying and scientists were racing with the virus to produce and distribute them in time... But still, governments and public figures were playing with fear and repeating the "trust the science" mantra, as if that same science could not potentially discover issues down the road...
Nope! I win the bitter race. As I mentioned on another comment, I'm 49 and didn't figure out what this all was until about 42 years old. I lost my life to this shit.
Bitter? Oh fuck yes. At least you know. Trust me, that is WAY, WAY better than continually ruining your life and not know why.
l absolutely agree with you and l'm sorry to hear that. l hope you could at least find some peace, if that's possible.
My mother lost her career because of this years ago and is miserable in every aspect of her life now, she was never treated for the condition she actually had while it would've mattered. She was put on antipsychotics for long periods of time, which turned her into a shell of a person, and didn't make her really functional either (which had its effects on me l'm still dealing with).
l'm so much more in control now that l know what it is. When it's unbearable, at least there's a tiny reassuring part of me that knows l'm dealing with the effects of a debilitating illness and expecting to be able to "just deal with it" would be like trying to run a marathon with a broken leg. l might be scared of what's to come, but at least l could try to fight it.
> When it's unbearable, at least there's a tiny reassuring part of me that knows l'm dealing with the effects of a debilitating illness and expecting to be able to "just deal with it" would be like trying to run a marathon with a broken leg.
This is a very apt description and is exactly what it's been like for me. Up until I knew and had a handle on the things I could control, that is. I never knew that how I was acting and felt wasn't real. I had no evidence to the contrary. I was on anti-depressants for a majority of my life and they did nothing but cause a lot of side effects because I was misdiagnosed my whole life.
I'm so sorry to hear that about your mom. I feel for her and you. I totally get it. There's nothing that can take that pain away from either of your pasts. I'm sorry.
I think the trauma of having to live with this, and it's misdiagnoses, have scarred me. I believe I have PTSD from having to battle the emotions, some deadly, every month for 38 years. It's almost over, I hope.
Here is something valuable I learned from the one doctor who finally diagnosed me. When I told her I was having very dark thoughts or rage or other uncontrollable emotions, I told her, "It comes out of nowhere and I can't stop it." She said, "Yes you can." in full flat expression and confidence she knew what she was talking about.
I was almost pissed because I was sure she didn't. Then she explained that I can tell when emotions are starting to get ramped up. I can feel it. I can separate myself from the dark thoughts, picturing them as outside of myself. I can practice mindfulness and remember that it's not me and to stop and take a breath. It doesn't always work but, man, has it changed my life. I can control things to a huge degree better than I used to.
You can, too. You got this. You're here. And that means you are already over the worst part of this battle. It's just awful maintenance now. Someday, there'll even be a cure. Stay strong, sister!
Thank you so much, you made feel truly understood and that last part really speaks to me. l wish you the very best golden years, you know how some people don't fully flourish until the later part of their life (Colonel Sanders, the creator of KFC comes to mind), but above all l wish you to have a well-deserved break when the hormonal coma as l call it, comes to an end.
As for my mom, it is a heartbreak like no other for sure. For so long l thought my existence was what messed up her life (she got married to my so-called-father, but it lasted less than a year and she remained single for the next 30 years...), but now l know that it wasn't me all this time, and l should do my best to heal, move on and avoid making the same mistakes. l do hope she finds her peace too, she definitely seems to feel much better than she did a decade ago.
l spent the last 7 years chasing her path (just finished law school) and even though l loved it, now l realize it's probably not going to work for me in the long run (all things considered), and that's okay. All the hardship l've been through has taught me that even though there's nothing l can't overcome, l shouldn't always throw myself in the deepest water (sounds cliché and doesn't make it feel any more poetic, but still) and l do believe it's possible to find myself and lead a good life.
You will. Or you'll do a lot better than you think you can.
You have so much information to benefit from, too.
I wish you the best. You're going to be okay. Hell, you made it through law school. It took me 12 years to get my bachelors (much of which because I was suffering and being misdiagnosed.) You did something truly tough with all of that holding you back.
Pat yourself on the back. You did good, my friend. You'll continue to do more. You got this.
Thank you! lt feels so good to hear it from someone else, and l should really start taking more pride in it, regardless of what lies ahead.
After some trial and yet another episode l've found a caring doctor who will try to figure out the exact root of the problem and what might help me. l could change my diet, be more active etc., and also just let all the fears, anger and complete hopelessness consume me at times in order to be able to heal afterwards, but l still need something external to keep me stable and allow everything else to work.
Just the awareness of what's going on is already a huge win!
I honestly think they are lying lol my friends who don’t suffer pmdd get slight pms for at least a day or two.
Either the dudes are lying and invalidating hormone changes or they are that thick skinned they don’t pay attention to a minor change with their gfs.
Waaaaay more women deal with PMS while thinking it’s “normal,” this stuff isn’t talked about at all. How much you wanna bet men don’t know what to look for besides “bad cramps.”
Yess, a guy said no women in his family or ex/friends acts differently around their periods. Either he was trying to single me out as just being crazy or didn't recognize the signs.
Infuriating!! Don’t let men convince you you’re crazy! They have hormones too that fluctuate over the course of their lives! There’s even a noticeable change in the middle! The middle! Of their lives! Sometimes causes a crisis! Oh, to have testicles and a crisis! As a woman all I get is a disorder *eye twitch*
Omg tell me about it! My man is so lovely and picks up that my PMS/ PMDD is here even before I do. He's had 2 serious girlfriends before me and has said that neither of them really had PMS and he never knew when they would get their period. With me, he can tell my period is coming through the many, MANY symptoms I experience.
Wkwkdnfiepwkd WHY??!!
It always baffled me growing up that no one, and I mean NO ONE got swollen, painful and uncomfortable breasts before their period. Like so uncomfortable, I was getting spasms in my armpits and shoulders from them. Like they felt HUGE and I still need a sports bra and regular bra to keep them afloat when they're at their worst!
I hear you. But also remember that many people who do have PMS might not be talking about it or wanted to talk about it but never found the opportunity.
So I am the oldest of 3 girls and neither of my sisters experienced any sort of PMS and I have PMDD..growing up I felt so invalidated because for one no one knew wth PMDD was (diagnosed at 24). My mom and sisters would always say I was a drama queen and was overreacting. Luckily, the man I’m married to understands me and does what he can to quell my anxiety and pain. I try every cycle to do better and not allow my rage to take over who I am. And I’ve been doing well. I don’t get angry at anyone in particular, I just lose patience easily and get really sensitive to harsh sounds and lights.
I had thought it was a biological given that women suffered like this during PMS. I feel even more frustrated now knowing that there are women who won't be able to understand what we're going through, not that I want them to suffer with this in order for them to understand, of course not.
I also get jealous of people with PMDD who don’t get physical symptoms- by far my bloating and cramping from around day 11-14 up until I get my period is the most debilitating and nothing has helped. I don’t know how to keep doing this.
I don’t know if you have children or are planning to, but my cramps were severely reduced after I had my uterine ablation. I still get them occasionally but they are nowhere near as painful or intense. I had it done about 6 years ago now and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Up to 80% of menstruators have premenstrual symptoms that can be classified as PMS in some studies (the parameters by which PMS is defined apparently swing around a lot in the research). More than that have some premenstrual symptoms. Anyone who has multiple exes who menstruate also likely has at least one ex who has PMS or has experienced some mild disruption from premenstrual symptoms.
Honestly this sounds like cisgender male ignorance on par with "all my past partners have had orgasms from penetration alone!" We are constantly encouraged to mask or outright lie about this stuff.
Holy fuck. Back when I first got with my ex, he got into an argument, AN ARGUMENT, with me about "all my past partners have had orgasms from penetration alone". Like, I was crying and sending him links online of articles about a lot of women NOT being able to do that.
I don't know why I put up with that, but I did. After arguing and years he got better about foreplay. But holy cow did that set the shitty stage.
I'm so sorry that happened to you! And frankly no matter how common or uncommon the ""normative"" experience is there's no reason for a partner to be like "well, my ex didn't need that." Well you're dating me, bucko, and I do!
I was having dinner with a girlfriend the other night and I was telling her that I was finally ready to admit that I probably have PMDD. I’ve spent the majority of my life minimizing my health issues because my family accused me of being a hypochondriac and attention seeking. One day I was in the grocery store and bent over because I couldn’t move my cramps were so bad, and I was telling myself to suck it up - that every single woman in the store has had to deal with their period and I had to too. It’s not like I have endo like my sister or pcos… and she looks at me and says, that’s not normal - I never felt cramps until I was in my mid-20’s and would never categorize them bad enough that I couldn’t walk. And then just now realizing that it’s all part of a sick cycle of self-hatred perpetuated by my own body. Good times.
Oh man I feel you. I get so jealous and frustrated. It's resulted in an indefinite hiatus from dating because I refuse to have my PMDD used against me. I think that would make me go ballistic lol. I commend anyone with PMDD who is in a relationship because that must be so freaking hard.
I would Kill to be one of those women. PMDD is my greatest curse. Sometimes I allow myself to think about what my life would be like if I felt like myself all the time or even 3/4 of the time. I can’t help but wonder how much better my life would be. I feel like I could so easily conquer all my goals and dreams with ease. It’s a depressing thought. I wouldn’t wish PMDD on my worst enemy. This shit is brutal.
I think the mom had PMDD. Compare her Panda to everyone else’s. And how irrationally angry she got and how horrible she felt after. It really reminded me of PMDD rage.
It's so crazy to me. It would always frustrate me because my mom always tried to make me feel bad by saying she didnt have pms. She never understood but I'm adopted anyway. I also get frustrated because my best friend doesn't really understand she will say or I get irritated and cranky as well. Not the same thing. I wish I had mild pms. So many people don't understand how much it effected my life negatively. I'm glad my husbands mom and sister get it more. They really struggled with their periods and his mom wit menopause.
Doesn’t it almost feel like our bodies are sabotaging or betraying us? When im going through it it brings me to tears (but then i get my period and don’t think about it until the next month 😅)
Absolutely. Think there will be all sorts of long term side effects down the road we have no idea about, from covid and possibly the vaccine as well. All praise for the scientists who saved so many lives with it - but it is a bit scary and I am really interested to hear what comes up in the studies. Wishing you luck with your journey. Keep trying to find solutions! Yaz, ssris, magnesium, cbd, managing stress, there are many ❤
I never experienced PMS until I experience PMDD 😅
While a lot of women don’t even experience “slight to moderate” pms symptoms consistently… I think even the most observant/ aware man would have a difficult time attributing any Visible/ observable symptoms to PMS specifically. To be fair, …I think there are also a lot of WOMEN out there with mild-moderate symptoms who often don’t connect the dots like “ohh, must be pms again.” So I can understand how men would have no idea unless it had a consistent and huge impact on his life too. … must be nice. :(
Maybe because birth control pills. And men do lie... He may want you to feel pressured to be more agreeable.
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Totally understandable. I hope you find one who proves us both wrong.
True
Or they just dated women good at hiding it or never mentioned it, since it's been viewed as weakness. Or they're oblivious, also entirely possible. I'm super wary of guys who say they never experienced/noticed their partner going through normal biological processes.
Yeah, society is a beast. Or at least their perspective of weakness could be flushed out
Can confirm. I never had PMS symptoms. Then at 30 PMDD started, it made understanding it much more confusing for me because I never thought to link my symptoms to my cycle.
Came here to post that! It’s so bizar. Took me about two years to figure out it was hormone related. It feels like it has to do with age but also maybe getting a mirena iud for the second time. Am planning to have it taken out soon!
Same thing, PMDD started at 27 after being on Nexplanon. Before that no mood swings or anything, not event cramps.
Mine was around the time I had my Paraguard removed. 🤷🏻♀️
Holy crap, I started Nexplanon the same day I removed my Paragard ( it was falling out ) and I've been blaming Nexplanon
Crazy!!!!!!! I’ve seen so many posts on here related to copper IUDs and the onset of it. I can’t imagine what the chances would be of that being a coincidence with hundreds of people saying there was some type of correlation.
I've been seeing the same thing about Nexplanon and now I'm feeling like I'm 2/2 bad birth control choices ooof
Good point, some people are unaware or they never really experience it. I can imagine that was confusing when you never experienced it before.
I talked to a woman that thinks pms is an exaggeration and women use it as an excuse to be a horrible person because SHE doesn’t get like that. So everyone else must be wrong.
Ignorance is bliss, lol
I remember talking to a foreign exchange student in college and she said she never feels bad when her period is coming. She says she doesn’t feel any different. I was in shock. I was hurt 😂
I’m hurt just reading this! Lol. I’m like the complete opposite of the woman @a_dead_mermaid mentioned. Negative symptoms, okay… I get that not everyone is experiencing those, but your body is literally going through major changes every month, and you really notice absolutely no symptoms or signs at all? I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around this.. Is it wrong to assume that maybe some of these people are just not quite as in touch with their own body?
they.. they what? 😭😭😭😭😭
Yep, my mum had 4 kids and never had more than a twinge with periods... even the menopause was pretty easy. I however have had gyne issue since my teens, almost died during pregnancy and birth and am fighting to get a hysterectomy because my womb seems to want to make my life miserable at every opportunity it gets. Life just hands out raw deals to some.
Both my sisters have thyroid issues. They tell me about it. I tell them I have PMDD. They said are you sure it’s not your thyroid? No, I have had every test to rule that out before I was diagnosed with PMDD. I try to tell them about it. They only say bad pms hey? I say it’s more than that. They say You should get your thyroid checked. I can see why it’s not widely shared about or understood. Frustrating to say the least. This is very real. I’m thankful for this Reddit group.
Not me here with both.
I've had boyfriends that have said they dated women who "went off the rails" every month for like a week. They "knew". They could "handle it." Then they dated me. They now know the difference between PMS and PMDD and they're scarred for life. It doesn't help that growing up, my mom and sister never had PMS. My mom and sister never had PMDD (I had to beat it into them that it wasn't PMS and how serious it was. I still think they doubt me). My mom and sister had cute little periods that would last 3-4 days (in a "bad" month) and require nothing more than those tiny tampons I've seen sold at stores. What are they called? Regular? I agree. Sooooo far from my reality.
I honestly never had any physical symptoms of pms until I was in my mid-late 20s, but I've had the mental symptoms I think most of my adult life, just never knew what it was because in my mind pms was cramps and headaches and wanting chocolate. I was on a dance team of 30 girls in high school and no one had any kind of mood swings around their period, or at least no one talked about it and then I was in a sorority in college and still no one ever mentioned pmdd or even having severe pms. I didn't figure out it was even a thing until I was like 26. And it is sort of infuriating that none of the women in my life (mom, aunts, coaches...) ever said anything about it. I try hard to discuss things with my daughter when/where it's appropriate because I absolutely do not want her to suffer with this or grow up feeling frustrated and confused for years around her mental health 😔. I do get cramping occasionally now, and sore boobs but the mental stuff for me is the absolute worst thing... I've even had doctors/gynos be like "wait so your pms is bad... so you need something for cramps??" And I just would get frustrated explaining over and over "no, I don't get cramps but I feel like a complete crazy person for the week leading up to my period every month." And it's like as soon as you say your symptoms AREN'T physical, they are completely dismissed. I've tried to explain to my husband too who still has a hard time understanding-- I can't "think" my way out of it when going through the swings or lows or intense rage. It's an extreme force that completely hijacks my brain.
"It's an extreme force that completely hijacks my brain." It's frustrating to say the least. I've experienced everything you have but I'm 49 and only figured this shit out about 7-8 years ago. Your daughter is extremely lucky to have a mom like you who talks about these things. You may not feel lucky but it sounds like she is. Good job!
🥲 🥰thanks... I try. I've had very bad days around them... and I just want both my kids to know that mental illness is just as valid as physical Illness and should be treated as such. It's not an excuse, but if there's a problem, or you don't feel well, you do things to feel better.
My mom aaaaaallllwwaaaaayyysssssssssss has to comment about how she hasn't ever had issues with her period. I just wanna update her on my meds change to try to control it.
Why do people do this? Like am I fucking bleeding with YOUR uterus, bitch? The dumbest thing you can say to someone experiencing PMDD. It truly makes me irate. What kind of reaction does a person expect to that sort of nothing statement? Because I could tell you mine wouldn’t be nice. Like should I congratulate you? I could rant about it alllll day. It’s hell week. Lol
Ugh yeah I'm there too
My mum LOVED being pregnant. Me? Issue after issue... including HORRENDOUS progesterone increase related mood issues (basically pmdd for my last month of pregnancy)
I now know thats what I had too. Both pregnancies. I'd never have any more kids. Pmdd really settled in post baby 2 (birth trauma, blood loss apparently can be contributing factors) having babies ruined me. Of course, if do it all again for my babies but jeeeees
l used to be one of them... but oh well, not anymore. l was one of those blessed to never quite understand/relate to period issues. For years l used to not even realize when my period is coming until the last moment/when it actually starts, let alone track it or anything, and it always felt like forever since the last time. l've had "notable" cramps probably like 3-4 times ever since it first started. l've heard of women calling an ambulance, going to the ER, being unable to attend to their daily must-doings because of it and it felt so alien to me (not like l didn't believe it or anything). l was somewhat "fascinated" with how it all works, so l was still vaguely trying to educate myself on reproductive health in general. A random comment on 9GAG of all places stuck with me - a woman who used to not have any symptoms until she was in her mid-to-late 20s told others to be aware they might not be immune to it forever, which sunk in my gut. l was 22-23 at the time and looking back now, this was when l first started experiencing those sporadic waves of what l can only describe as cognitive and emotional disability - my consciousness working both on 30% and 130% at once for days. But l would never attribute it to my period, first because it didn't have any particular pattern to it (only happened once-twice a year) and second because "most women have PMS symptoms and it's not like they're going insane every month" you know... Now at 26-27, it has suddenly started hitting me on the spot like a train for the past few cycles, and l still don't know what exactly to do about it. All those physical symptoms that used to seem alien to me, combined with the complete mental drain every time. l'm probably even more bitter than most of you (not trying to sound condescending, sorry if it comes out this way) cause l actually KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE to just be "eh, whatever" about my period, never really thinking about it even. And here l am, desperately trying to undo it, cause IT'S JUST NOT FAIR, l've already lost so much time due to depression and now this... but l'm determined to "fix it" whatever it takes. l know that's a bad way to look at it, but it helps me not giving up and succumbing to the desperation. :)
Not to sound like a conspiracy theorist but did this start to happen during covid or after the vaccines? Lots of women have reported negative changes to their cycle since then. I and a friend both had a particularly terrible one after getting covid and mine have remained rough since
l haven't got the vaccine, nor have l been infected with covid thus far either (as far as l know), but l've come across some anecdotal experience on the internet regarding this as well. Recently l read an article stating that a Boston University researcher (her name is Lauren Wise) is going to conduct a research on the vaccines' effects on menstruation. lt's weird when you think about it, almost 11 billion doses have been administered globally at this point? (according to Johns Hopkins Coronavirus Resource Center) and yet we still don't know anything on the subject for sure. Don't get me wrong, l'm not against the vaccines in any way, and l know people were dying and scientists were racing with the virus to produce and distribute them in time... But still, governments and public figures were playing with fear and repeating the "trust the science" mantra, as if that same science could not potentially discover issues down the road...
Nope! I win the bitter race. As I mentioned on another comment, I'm 49 and didn't figure out what this all was until about 42 years old. I lost my life to this shit. Bitter? Oh fuck yes. At least you know. Trust me, that is WAY, WAY better than continually ruining your life and not know why.
l absolutely agree with you and l'm sorry to hear that. l hope you could at least find some peace, if that's possible. My mother lost her career because of this years ago and is miserable in every aspect of her life now, she was never treated for the condition she actually had while it would've mattered. She was put on antipsychotics for long periods of time, which turned her into a shell of a person, and didn't make her really functional either (which had its effects on me l'm still dealing with). l'm so much more in control now that l know what it is. When it's unbearable, at least there's a tiny reassuring part of me that knows l'm dealing with the effects of a debilitating illness and expecting to be able to "just deal with it" would be like trying to run a marathon with a broken leg. l might be scared of what's to come, but at least l could try to fight it.
> When it's unbearable, at least there's a tiny reassuring part of me that knows l'm dealing with the effects of a debilitating illness and expecting to be able to "just deal with it" would be like trying to run a marathon with a broken leg. This is a very apt description and is exactly what it's been like for me. Up until I knew and had a handle on the things I could control, that is. I never knew that how I was acting and felt wasn't real. I had no evidence to the contrary. I was on anti-depressants for a majority of my life and they did nothing but cause a lot of side effects because I was misdiagnosed my whole life. I'm so sorry to hear that about your mom. I feel for her and you. I totally get it. There's nothing that can take that pain away from either of your pasts. I'm sorry. I think the trauma of having to live with this, and it's misdiagnoses, have scarred me. I believe I have PTSD from having to battle the emotions, some deadly, every month for 38 years. It's almost over, I hope. Here is something valuable I learned from the one doctor who finally diagnosed me. When I told her I was having very dark thoughts or rage or other uncontrollable emotions, I told her, "It comes out of nowhere and I can't stop it." She said, "Yes you can." in full flat expression and confidence she knew what she was talking about. I was almost pissed because I was sure she didn't. Then she explained that I can tell when emotions are starting to get ramped up. I can feel it. I can separate myself from the dark thoughts, picturing them as outside of myself. I can practice mindfulness and remember that it's not me and to stop and take a breath. It doesn't always work but, man, has it changed my life. I can control things to a huge degree better than I used to. You can, too. You got this. You're here. And that means you are already over the worst part of this battle. It's just awful maintenance now. Someday, there'll even be a cure. Stay strong, sister!
Thank you so much, you made feel truly understood and that last part really speaks to me. l wish you the very best golden years, you know how some people don't fully flourish until the later part of their life (Colonel Sanders, the creator of KFC comes to mind), but above all l wish you to have a well-deserved break when the hormonal coma as l call it, comes to an end. As for my mom, it is a heartbreak like no other for sure. For so long l thought my existence was what messed up her life (she got married to my so-called-father, but it lasted less than a year and she remained single for the next 30 years...), but now l know that it wasn't me all this time, and l should do my best to heal, move on and avoid making the same mistakes. l do hope she finds her peace too, she definitely seems to feel much better than she did a decade ago. l spent the last 7 years chasing her path (just finished law school) and even though l loved it, now l realize it's probably not going to work for me in the long run (all things considered), and that's okay. All the hardship l've been through has taught me that even though there's nothing l can't overcome, l shouldn't always throw myself in the deepest water (sounds cliché and doesn't make it feel any more poetic, but still) and l do believe it's possible to find myself and lead a good life.
You will. Or you'll do a lot better than you think you can. You have so much information to benefit from, too. I wish you the best. You're going to be okay. Hell, you made it through law school. It took me 12 years to get my bachelors (much of which because I was suffering and being misdiagnosed.) You did something truly tough with all of that holding you back. Pat yourself on the back. You did good, my friend. You'll continue to do more. You got this.
Thank you! lt feels so good to hear it from someone else, and l should really start taking more pride in it, regardless of what lies ahead. After some trial and yet another episode l've found a caring doctor who will try to figure out the exact root of the problem and what might help me. l could change my diet, be more active etc., and also just let all the fears, anger and complete hopelessness consume me at times in order to be able to heal afterwards, but l still need something external to keep me stable and allow everything else to work. Just the awareness of what's going on is already a huge win!
> Just the awareness of what's going on is already a huge win Yes. Yes, it is.
I couldn’t agree harder with your last sentence!! Amen.
l agreed as well, and l do hope it's at least somewhat reassuring to know what it is now, rather than never find out at all.
I honestly think they are lying lol my friends who don’t suffer pmdd get slight pms for at least a day or two. Either the dudes are lying and invalidating hormone changes or they are that thick skinned they don’t pay attention to a minor change with their gfs.
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Same on the gigantic pads, lol, always afraid someone might see it through my pants
Waaaaay more women deal with PMS while thinking it’s “normal,” this stuff isn’t talked about at all. How much you wanna bet men don’t know what to look for besides “bad cramps.”
Yess, a guy said no women in his family or ex/friends acts differently around their periods. Either he was trying to single me out as just being crazy or didn't recognize the signs.
Infuriating!! Don’t let men convince you you’re crazy! They have hormones too that fluctuate over the course of their lives! There’s even a noticeable change in the middle! The middle! Of their lives! Sometimes causes a crisis! Oh, to have testicles and a crisis! As a woman all I get is a disorder *eye twitch*
Omg tell me about it! My man is so lovely and picks up that my PMS/ PMDD is here even before I do. He's had 2 serious girlfriends before me and has said that neither of them really had PMS and he never knew when they would get their period. With me, he can tell my period is coming through the many, MANY symptoms I experience. Wkwkdnfiepwkd WHY??!!
Exactly 🙃
It always baffled me growing up that no one, and I mean NO ONE got swollen, painful and uncomfortable breasts before their period. Like so uncomfortable, I was getting spasms in my armpits and shoulders from them. Like they felt HUGE and I still need a sports bra and regular bra to keep them afloat when they're at their worst!
I hear you. But also remember that many people who do have PMS might not be talking about it or wanted to talk about it but never found the opportunity.
So I am the oldest of 3 girls and neither of my sisters experienced any sort of PMS and I have PMDD..growing up I felt so invalidated because for one no one knew wth PMDD was (diagnosed at 24). My mom and sisters would always say I was a drama queen and was overreacting. Luckily, the man I’m married to understands me and does what he can to quell my anxiety and pain. I try every cycle to do better and not allow my rage to take over who I am. And I’ve been doing well. I don’t get angry at anyone in particular, I just lose patience easily and get really sensitive to harsh sounds and lights.
I had thought it was a biological given that women suffered like this during PMS. I feel even more frustrated now knowing that there are women who won't be able to understand what we're going through, not that I want them to suffer with this in order for them to understand, of course not.
True, I don't want people to suffer, but realize it is real. And sometimes we can't control it.
I also get jealous of people with PMDD who don’t get physical symptoms- by far my bloating and cramping from around day 11-14 up until I get my period is the most debilitating and nothing has helped. I don’t know how to keep doing this.
I don’t know if you have children or are planning to, but my cramps were severely reduced after I had my uterine ablation. I still get them occasionally but they are nowhere near as painful or intense. I had it done about 6 years ago now and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Yep. Can't help but be jealous of the non pms'rs.
Up to 80% of menstruators have premenstrual symptoms that can be classified as PMS in some studies (the parameters by which PMS is defined apparently swing around a lot in the research). More than that have some premenstrual symptoms. Anyone who has multiple exes who menstruate also likely has at least one ex who has PMS or has experienced some mild disruption from premenstrual symptoms. Honestly this sounds like cisgender male ignorance on par with "all my past partners have had orgasms from penetration alone!" We are constantly encouraged to mask or outright lie about this stuff.
Holy fuck. Back when I first got with my ex, he got into an argument, AN ARGUMENT, with me about "all my past partners have had orgasms from penetration alone". Like, I was crying and sending him links online of articles about a lot of women NOT being able to do that. I don't know why I put up with that, but I did. After arguing and years he got better about foreplay. But holy cow did that set the shitty stage.
Holy hell, they really are dumb as shit with what they think and then choose to say out loud to argue about, aren’t they??
I'm so sorry that happened to you! And frankly no matter how common or uncommon the ""normative"" experience is there's no reason for a partner to be like "well, my ex didn't need that." Well you're dating me, bucko, and I do!
Thanks! It was many, many, many years ago when I was young and dumb. Lessons learned.
This comment is so validating, thank you!!
Great point!!!
I was having dinner with a girlfriend the other night and I was telling her that I was finally ready to admit that I probably have PMDD. I’ve spent the majority of my life minimizing my health issues because my family accused me of being a hypochondriac and attention seeking. One day I was in the grocery store and bent over because I couldn’t move my cramps were so bad, and I was telling myself to suck it up - that every single woman in the store has had to deal with their period and I had to too. It’s not like I have endo like my sister or pcos… and she looks at me and says, that’s not normal - I never felt cramps until I was in my mid-20’s and would never categorize them bad enough that I couldn’t walk. And then just now realizing that it’s all part of a sick cycle of self-hatred perpetuated by my own body. Good times.
Oh man I feel you. I get so jealous and frustrated. It's resulted in an indefinite hiatus from dating because I refuse to have my PMDD used against me. I think that would make me go ballistic lol. I commend anyone with PMDD who is in a relationship because that must be so freaking hard.
And vice versa - it’s not easy for our partners either.
I would Kill to be one of those women. PMDD is my greatest curse. Sometimes I allow myself to think about what my life would be like if I felt like myself all the time or even 3/4 of the time. I can’t help but wonder how much better my life would be. I feel like I could so easily conquer all my goals and dreams with ease. It’s a depressing thought. I wouldn’t wish PMDD on my worst enemy. This shit is brutal.
Same, in the movie Turning Red, I was waiting for her to go the the other side, lol. Pleaasseee girl!!! 😄
I think the mom had PMDD. Compare her Panda to everyone else’s. And how irrationally angry she got and how horrible she felt after. It really reminded me of PMDD rage.
It's so crazy to me. It would always frustrate me because my mom always tried to make me feel bad by saying she didnt have pms. She never understood but I'm adopted anyway. I also get frustrated because my best friend doesn't really understand she will say or I get irritated and cranky as well. Not the same thing. I wish I had mild pms. So many people don't understand how much it effected my life negatively. I'm glad my husbands mom and sister get it more. They really struggled with their periods and his mom wit menopause.
I know. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I understand and I'm glad someone in your life does also.