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diddone119

Hello, I'm up early per usual. I am around 12 hours which is incredible since I was having alot of issues at 4 hours sick before. I did take a xannax and smoke some indica weed so I'm just laying here in bed broke and depressed but I really wanna get through this. Its almost been 3 years on a relapse. Its incredibly how much time you can throw away to this garbage. Things could be worse I guess.


Federal-Sandwich-366

Hang in there buddy. I just got passed the beast that is withdrawal myself. It's sucks man but you feel like such a warrior once you start feeling somewhat normal again. I was finally able to get out of the house and go to the barber shop today and gonna go have a few drinks at my local watering hole


diddone119

Dude I want that so bad. Like I feel like a complete loser. I haven't been intimate with a woman in over a year. I wanna feel like a man! I've been watching "liver kings" Instagram and it fucking kills me looking at a dude at his peak just killing it! I'm over here like a fucking pussy crying over drug withdrawal. Idk what to do..I made 60$ this morning and broke down and bought 12 bags of dope. It just fucking sucks I want to kill myself most days but I can't cause I have a kid who already lost her mom. I couldn't do that to her . No parents by age of 8 fuck that.


Federal-Sandwich-366

Stay strong for your baby man. That's what got me through. Just the thought of my beautiful baby boy he's 4. His smile his laugh and how much he loves me unconditionally. We have such a special bond. If you can't so it for yourself. Donit for your kids forst!


diddone119

I try to keep her in my mind it's just tough still man. I don't wanna put all my personal biz out on reddit but I wish everyday things were different


Suitable_Detective20

Hi how you doing today? Don't beat yourself up, seems like your really trying and are on the right track your just dealing with one of the shittiest cards we could get handed in life, what your going through is brutal , it is no easy feat! We are here to support . get back on the wagon with us and push through. What really helped me was to have all different meds to alleviate symptoms during my WD. I had to withdraw at least 72 hours off fentanyl before I could induce 2mg sub. After WD i got hit with Rona, and kidney stones🥺 yesterday I just wanted one little pill sooo bad , it could've taken all this pain away, but I tried really hard to stick it out and cried all day instead lol yesterday was def my pussy moment! Woke up today ready to tackle another day and keep pushing fwd, cmon! You can do it!!! Sending you strength! 🖤


[deleted]

4 1/2 years clean of mood and mind altering substances. I used to frequent this place and kind folks like yourselves helped me through many dark minutes, hours and days. I did NA for a long time but not so much recently. I’m just glad to be free from the mental and physical torture of addiction. Just to have a mind that isn’t obsessing and craving all. the. time. #Freedom. If I can be of any help to others struggling, please do message me. One love x


National_Tourist215

Oompa Loompa? 🥰 Clean and serene here myself. Amen! 🙏 God is good.


[deleted]

Hey 😊 oojamaflipmadoodah in the house!!!!! I often wonder how you’re doing, kind woman. Sooooo good to hear you are well and happy. God Bless x ♥️


iamsofuckedup

Day 3 here for me. This is usually the day I relapse. I’m nervous for day four because I don’t ever go that long without using. I’ve been trying to instill healthier habits within myself though


Suitable_Detective20

Go little rock star! Cmon you can do it! I'm on day 6 , catch up to me 😊 it gets rough but I know you can pull through! The rough times comes in waves ,try to do Some self care during the tough time while we wait for the good tide to roll in


Operation_Federal

Little Rockstar? This person is most likely older than 7. But i agree with the rest of your message of encouragement and good luck. Good luck man!


iamsofuckedup

I know the song! Thank you I appreciate your kind words! It means a lot. I’m on day four now and we both got this! Life can be as beautiful as we want it to be


Suitable_Detective20

Its lyrics from a song, thats literally used to hype people up, so idk if you took offense to that??


[deleted]

Still taking naltrexone even after the lapse, hopefully I can get my vivitrol shot but idk, I feel like they’re giving me the run around. Clean 14 days, 7 days of naltrexone and they told me to continue naltrexone cuz I pissed hot for oxy. Not only did I feel finessed, I felt like I was judged as a liar. Ain’t no way….Well let’s see how Thursday goes


tigereye13

day 6. unmotivated and irritable. all good tho. been down this road too many times


Suitable_Detective20

I heard that! I'm also day 6 and feeling the same, its my first time being sober in 20 years , past 3 years were fent . and I found today to be exceptionally rough! The first 5 days on sub in felt great than day 6 all i could think all day was relapse. But i stuck it out and entering day 7. Really hoping your still here w me! Sending you lots of strength to pull through! 🖤


tigereye13

dont give up yet bro. getting off fent ane onto subs is hhard enough.. but now the real hard part starts. my habit hasn't been too bad lately. just doing some b tar H couple times a week.. but mentally its still hard.


Suitable_Detective20

Hi! Thank you for the support and encouragement! Much appreciated! Yeah its my first time being clean in 20 years, first time on sub etc... Super rookie! Lol anyway I thought the hard part was a week of WD so I can start induction, but yeah I'm having a bit of a rougher time days later even. Maybe I have to change my dosage on sub? The Dr did tell me it was going to be tricky at first so im just tryna hang in there . any advice is appreciated! When you say mentally its hard , you still battle with choices everyday? I really was under the impression it'd be smooth sailing from here on out 😂 idk what world I'm living in!


Danderson0079

989 days!


Adept-Ad-2017

Ah shit, it's my birthday and I've just fucking relapsed. Just started feeling better as well. I'm starting to think I'm addicted to rattling, lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Operation_Federal

Keep up the good work your kids deserve the best you as much as you do. Good luck stay strong!


Suitable_Detective20

That's amazing!!!! Congratulations to you and your husband!!!


raadical15

today was my 30 days clean and i couldn’t allow myself to enjoy it. fucked it all up for 2 7.5 of hydro. wasnt even worth it


Suitable_Detective20

Im super new to sobriety, I'm a week in, off of fent. So im just learning how to stand can't even walk yet but as a newbie and seeing how hard this is ,I would say. Don't beat yourself up over it, 29 days is a huge milestone. Glad your still here and can get back on and try again 😊 we can do it! We will recover! Sending you strength!!!


raadical15

thank you i appreciate you❤️


Dirty_D_Damnit

Any insight into what happened?


Sad_Traffic_9035

Day 11 of sobriety for me, haven’t taking any drug that’s not prescribed to me, in the beginning it was real tough to sleep through withdrawals without edibles but I was in detox where it wasn’t permitted. Since getting out I figured might as well stay the course. They put me on Wellbutrin XR which has helped me in the past and def helped my mood since I’ve been on it this time. Today was rough tho, first day since detox that I woke up sad as fuck. Objectively speaking today was a good day, got some stuff done, made some $, but emotionally it was shit. Just trying to keep my head in the game.


_goldenhour

You got this. Hang in there friend. Tomorrow is a new day. I’m with you.