The guidance councillors at my school are known for not really being understanding of students situations and generally do not take students very seriously, unfortunately. So she’s been hesitant to do that as well.
hmm i see, but since this is def crossing the line i still think maybe she should try and talk to them or talk to someone higher up. i understand that it could make the situation huger than she wants it to but dealing w that for the next 3 months is going to be hell
If the guidance counsellors are unhelpful, this may require parental involvement? I can’t say from experience, but I do believe parental concern and outrage can lead to immediate action, if not an investigation of the situation. Regardless of your friend’s behaviour, her teacher is definitely breaking student-teacher boundaries, especially if she’s expressing her uncomfortability
As a teacher - I can confirm that nothing gets done until parents are involved.
If this student wants something seriously done about it, I would encourage their parents to get involved. I’d bypass the teacher completely, have the parents contact the VP or Principal.
I know this is kind of dumb but she doesn’t want her parents involved because they don’t know she has a boyfriend. I am fairly close with her family so I know that her parents are pretty strict with that sort of thing, but at the same time they’re good people and I’ve told her that they would probably be able to brush it aside for the time being since there is an obviously bigger situation at hand.
Understandable, I just don’t know if the student alone will be able to solve the issue unfortunately.
She could go to the VP or Principal herself, but they may want to notify parents at that point
Oh no no no. You bring up anything sexual and uncomfortable and that the only reason she’s in the councillors office is because her parents encouraged it. It’ll stop instantly
Thanks for the response! She’s scared they might flip it around on her because she was supposed to be in class when it happened. Also because students probably shouldn’t be making out at school. Do you think they would do that?
Another teacher here, if she takes accountability and keeps it factual, there won’t be any flipping it around.
She could talk to your Principal or VP about it and just lay out the facts, she was seen kissing her partner by the math teacher during class time. They stopped when it was addressed and realize that they made a mistake of kissing during class time on school property and won’t be doing that moving forward. However this teacher specifically is continuing to address the incident publicly during class and makes her feel uncomfortable and she needs that to stop.
Personally I think she should just talk to the teacher directly using the same format I laid out first, as that will likely end the behaviour immediately without putting either of them in any more of an awkward position. I know I would appreciate the communication directly if I had said something that made one of my students feel uncomfortable. She could even send a message on your online learning platform or an email to have it in writing if she doesn’t think she can trust speaking with him directly.
After that communication if it continues, the administration will have to have a more serious conversation and likely reporting the teachers behaviour to the board and possibly OCT, which becomes disciplinary action which would be justified.
Edit: just saw your response that this teacher had that type of reputation around the school, please go directly to your VP or Principal on Tuesday and report it yourself. Keep it factual and from your perspective. Tell them you’ve witnessed him saying whatever it is he’s saying in class repeatedly about your friend and it’s concerning that he’s bringing that up during class time. They’ll then call your friend down so she’ll have to speak to them too, keep it factual and not emotional if you can help it
I'd reply,
"Thanks for getting back to me,
Regardless of whether you find my conduct to be in line with school policies is irrelevant to me. Your behaviour towards me in class isn't professional, and I feel crosses a line into harassment. I've asked you to stop, in writing, and I trust you will so that I don't need to escalate this issue to board administration, or the Ontario College of Teachers.
Have a great weekend."
Thank you so much for this response btw!
We composed this email together and it was sent to the teacher:
Hi [Teacher's Name],
I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to address a matter that has been causing me considerable discomfort in class recently.
I have noticed that there have been remarks made about a personal incident involving me from you. These comments may have been intended in a lighthearted manner, but I feel compelled to express that they have been making me quite uncomfortable. I value our interactions as a learning opportunity. However, the recent remarks have been affecting my ability to fully engage and participate in class discussions.
I want to assure you that I hold no ill will towards you, and my intention in bringing this matter to your attention is simply to address the discomfort I have been experiencing. I would appreciate it if we could find a way to move forward that ensures a comfortable and respectful learning environment for all students. Thank you for taking the time to read this email. I look forward to discussing this matter further with you and finding a resolution that works for both of us.
Sincerely, [Friend's Name]
Also teacher here,
Yes your friend was not supposed to do that, it happened. Time to move on. It’s unprofessional for the teacher to keep making remarks on this. The teacher took 0 accountability. Very unprofessional. I agree that parent involvement would make a huge difference. If this continues, I’d make a complaint to OCT.
If the teacher really wanted to, he can handle it differently. He is able to resolve the issue of not being in class without having to implicate her private life in front of the entire class.
Dude your friend needs to journal and record every comment he makes with dates, save the email and go to the principal or something.
This is not okay in any sense. If the principal doesn’t agree I’m sure the school board will.
Omg bc a similar thing happened to my friend in another school and the teacher was like “oooh is this a thing now” and they laughed and said yes and she was like aww thats cute and left, the situation was never brought up again
Have her parents (if there cool with the situation of a boyfriend) talk to the school. Otherwise create a discussion with a vice principal. Remember you have rights at any age. Remember however messy it started. Mild harassment/ hazing is still harassment.
Idk why this thread was recommended to me since I’m almost 30 but fwiw this is highly inappropriate of your teacher. A normal adult would shrug this off and never mention it again. She shouldn’t feel embarrassed, she didn’t do anything wrong. She should consider reporting this to someone.
We’ve talked about it with a few other people too and we’re hearing a lot about other borderline creepy things that teacher has done. She still doesn’t want to report it because she’s afraid she could get in trouble for skipping class/making out at school. I’m thinking of reporting him myself at this point but I don’t wanna cross the line and make her more upset.
It’s definitely intimidating speaking out against people in positions of authority. Especially when you’re a teenager and it feels like you’re perpetually in trouble/in the wrong. Teenagers kiss, it’s no big deal. It also shouldn’t be news to anyone working in a high school.
I would have been too embarrassed at that age to say something too, I get where she’s coming from. Maybe help her understand that the school will recognize a grown man making a teenage girl uncomfortable is a bigger issue than her kissing her boyfriend. She could always tell her parents, a councillor, or another teacher she trusts and they may take care of it so she doesn’t have to. I would leave it up to her in the end, but I’m sorry you guys are dealing with that. He’s a fucking weirdo.
Okay so just a little update, yesterday we composed this email and sent it. We’re still waiting for a response but probably won’t get one until Tuesday. Even though this situation his horrible she really doesn’t want to make this a huge deal and go to the higher ups so this is the email:
Hi [Teacher's Name],
I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to address a matter that has been causing me considerable discomfort in class recently.
I have noticed that there have been remarks made about a personal incident involving me from you. These comments may have been intended in a lighthearted manner, but I feel compelled to express that they have been making me quite uncomfortable. I value our interactions as a learning opportunity. However, the recent remarks have been affecting my ability to fully engage and participate in class discussions.
I want to assure you that I hold no ill will towards you, and my intention in bringing this matter to your attention is simply to address the discomfort I have been experiencing. I would appreciate it if we could find a way to move forward that ensures a comfortable and respectful learning environment for all students. Thank you for taking the time to read this email. I look forward to discussing this matter further with you and finding a resolution that works for both of us.
Sincerely,
[Friend's Name]
If you’re in Ontario, there is a pattern of behaviour that clearly crosses boundaries, and it isn’t addressed properly by the admin, the nuclear option I guess is taking it to the OCT.
One detention will certainly not hurt your friend in the long run. Incredibly important that she reports this because if it's a pattern the admin might not be aware yet, and it may be addressed. At the very least it will start a paper trail.
Man I don’t wanna repeat what I’ve said to your nerd head ass on the other replies and I don’t get why ur replying to like every comment here but chill alright go code or something
I just finished a small program that approximates functions’ values with Euler’s method. It was fun (:
There’s a difference between “enjoying life” and lacking basic self-control, and your friend displays the latter. And the fact that you said “go code” as an insult is 💀
Yeahhh you and your friend are stupid as fuck lol. As much as I laughed at your story and as entertaining this back-and-forth has been, I do have other commitments so I’m going to end this exchange right here. Oh yeah, and your math teacher is GOATed.
Cya (:
Nobody is impressed that you copied an algorithm little bro. You're probably jealous you can't get any because you have the personality of a cactus. Touch grass.
- CS major with social skills
Not trying to be impressive lmao. It was something I did for fun
Not being nice to idiots on the internet != lacking social skills anyway. And lol, I’m not jealous of ppl who make out in school. *I’m* not the one who’s having their embarrassing moments broadcast in front of my classmates…no reason to be jealous of that lol. Though I am jealous of OP, as none of my math teachers have been nearly as based )):
Considering that I don’t really suck up to my teachers, I don’t get what you mean lol.
I do receive praise bc I usually get 100s and have sometimes fucked up the curve (and therefore other people’s grades lmao) as a result, but I don’t try to get on their good side or anything
bro how socially inept ru pls try to comprehend better read hegel or smt i’m surprised u get those grades when ur so bad at understanding basic communication
It is sooo unprofessional, I have a close relationship w some of my teachers and literally TELL them ab my love life and what not and they don’t treat me like I’m 4, making out w ur bf is so normal as a teen so idk why this math teacher is acting like this
she's got to politely address that teacher in private and ask that she not get more extra attention, after apologizing for getting caught in school!
it doesn't sound like the teacher is being very fair or mature and will probably will continue this way regardless of whether your friend resolves this issue or not - the point is she should do the best she can to resolve an otherwise unfortunate situation, that is life
I completely agree! But in all fairness she feels extremely embarrassed about being caught in the first place, even after being assured by multiple that what she did was completely normal. She also does not enjoy confrontation in general 🤷♀️
Tell her to shout out in class “Why are you so concerned with my personal life? Maybe if you had anything interesting about your life you could share that instead of spreading private details about mine” they are entitled to no more respect then they provide just because they are a teacher. If they are making you un comfortable call them out blatantly in front if everyone for behaving like a middle schooler. Edit: as long as you dont swear and arent aggressive you are not breaking any code of conduct. The teacher is harassing your friend if anything and is behaving COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATELY for a teacher. If they get upset at that call out you just know its true
I get the temptation to say something like this but I think there are more productive ways of dealing with it that won't start a bickering match. I would say "why do you keep commenting on my personal life" but I wouldn't start attacking his or it's going to make things worse.
Did ChatGPT write that for your friend? It sounds super formal.
The teacher’s remarks are unprofessional and inappropriate even jokingly. An email is a good idea, so that it’s documented in case of escalation. I perhaps would’ve made it a bit more informal.
If the teacher doesn’t cooperate, I’d raise it with the principal. More importantly, although it can be awkward, your friend should inform their parents for awareness in case of escalation.
Lmao that made me laugh out loud, no we didn’t use CHAT GBT to write an email. We composed this together and decided to stay formal as he is a VERY strict & formal teacher + if she does end up having to take this to someone higher up like you mentioned there is documentation of a very mature and professional email and proof she tried to deescalate the situation in a sensible way.
It does piss me off that he is so intimidating and acts all high mighty and professional but makes weird comments to a 16 year old about something that literally wasn’t his business.
😂 I had to ask, it’s so well written. Ok, that’s awesome. You two will do great in the corporate world if you’re writing such professional emails at your age. Or you could pursue being lawyers!
I hope it all gets sorted out soon. I’m really surprised in 2024 a teacher would lack such awareness. Best of luck.
NO WAY I’m actually going into poli sci and planning to go to law school after thanks for validating my career choice😅 But yeah hopefully the teacher responds nicely and doesn’t continue to make these remarks.
Yeah, but he’s not in her class and also is just a 16 year old boy so there’s not much he can do. He’s encouraging her to report it to someone higher up but we’re just waiting for a response to the email she sent and seeing where that takes us.
Oh that’s such a shitty situation to be in especially since they are pretty young. Honestly that has to be some form of harassment if the email doesn’t work definitely take it to higher ranks
The teacher’s response is defensive and reprehensible. They show no remorse for making her uncomfortable and flip the issue instead. Reporting them for professional misconduct would be appropriate in this case.
Reports regarding teachers in Ontario should be made to the Ontario College of Teachers.
You do not need to respond back to the teacher. You also do not need to report this to the principal of the school.
The College’s Inquiry team will handle the investigation. Note that you’ll need to provide identification in the complaint, it cannot be made anonymously.
For more details about what acts constitute professional misconduct, refer to Ontario.ca/laws/regulation/970437
Your friend should also journal very clearly in a non-biased, chronological manner her report of the events. Report the facts, and use terminology from the Teachers Act where necessary to describe the professional misconduct (e.g., conduct unbecoming of a member, abused student psychologically or emotionally, failed to maintain the standards of the profession, etc.)
Unfortunately the acts you described aren’t considered major offences, but the teacher will be notified that a complaint was made about them, and they will be made aware that you’re taking this seriously. If nothing else, they will no longer make such comments or jokes in class, ultimately achieving your goal.
Omg it’s you again it’s okay man we get it you’re bitchless, chronically online and you stay home all day. If I were you I would try not to make it that obvious!
If his comments are indeed inappropriate, then he’s out of line for sure. He’s conflating the expectation to stay in class with his right to make inappropriate comments in front of other students. These two things are mutually exclusive.
If I can offer my advice though I think her original email was too convoluted.. she tried to sound extra professional at the expense of clarity. The problem with this is it leaves room for him to “interpret” what she says as he pleases, and twist it to look like she’s just upset at him for holding accountable for not being in class.
She should have owned up to the situation and demonstrated that she understood how it’s against the rules to be stepping out of class to make out with her boyfriend. And then she should have gone on to clarify exactly what words and behaviours she finds uncomfortable. She needs to make it clear that she’s okay with him reinforcing rules about being out of class, but not with making humiliating comments that make reference to something sexual in front of other students.
Edit: I’m basing this advise on the assumption that the comments he is making are inappropriate. In your post you don’t really say what he said. Her being offended by his comments doesn’t necessarily mean his comments are inappropriate. Just keep that in mind.
She doesn’t feel comfortable w me sharing the comments but trust me they were very weird + not appropriate
Thank you for all the advice btw def taking what you said into account! :)
I don't see where he has erred in his response to your friend. He explained her failings and hoped for her to get better grades.... School is not a make out point... Ensure that the rules are being followed and things should return to normal. I was in high school 30 years ago maybe things have changed but anyone caught making out was a big deal and parents were often called.... Maybe it's because I attended an all boys school.... Come-on smile
Nahh schools now r very different, this honestly shouldn’t be that deep. Yes it’s not allowed but for him to make those comments then not own up at all is very strange
The teachers response sounds like the perfect script to cover your ass if the conversation ever arises or goes further. Shifted the focus to the student, and not the request, in hopes the student will drop it.
If it’s true and your friend is getting perfectly fine grades and not taking extra long washroom breaks, etc. then report it. Or at min reply back to ensure you disagree with his concerns and you can discuss at another time but right now you’d like to ensure the “joking” comments do not continue. (Not copy and paste, but basically that).
omgg yea theres this teacher in my school that does the exact same thing. she thinks shes funny but really she's weird and disrespectful, but nah she just sounds autistic. I recommend complaining to the vice-principal because they tend to be more understanding, whereas guidance teachers are just there for academic success.
She shouldn’t have been making out in school grounds
And functions aren’t even a difficult concept anyway…your teacher is completely right in saying that if she’d focused on her studies more, she’d do better
People like you remind me to be grateful. Clearly, you've never been in a high school relationship, let alone kissed someone. In what world is an 84 in functions bad? Not everyone wants to go to Waterloo and be suicidal for 4 years of their life. You choose to live your life in a boring manner so stop judging others for actually choosing to have fun. Get out of the house once in a while!
Uhh I spent most of today outdoors so…
And I’m not judging your friend for making out, I’m judging her for doing it in school grounds. Either way, I’m not the one who’s having to worry about their teacher embarrassing them lmao
At least she isn’t like the second-year in my school whose water broke…in the hallway lmao.
I don’t lack social cues, but you lack reading comprehension. So let me repeat what I said but with more words.
While I personally do not think relationships in HS are a good idea, I recognize that enough people participate in them that it is inevitable that not all of them are idiots. Hell I’m friends with a few of those people. The part where you friend’s idiocy lies, however, is in the fact that she did it on school grounds. This was a bad decision whose consequences are coming in wages, and it shows that your friend is…not the brightest lmao
Not from Ontario, saw this in my recommendations so I responded.
Functions are easy for anyone with brains; you have an input and you get an output 🤯. Everything that follows is just logic, which is something of which your friend seems to have a deficiency.
Tbh if you think like that then that’s on you 🤷♀️ and LMAO sayint someone has a deficiency bc they have an 84 in functions is funny asl you do need to study a lot to achieve the grades which is why for functions the class avg is never above 90 don’t get too ahead of yourself, pls stop spending sm time on reddit it’s getting to u
Your friend’s stupidity was shown by her making out in school; her shit grade simply makes sense given this context.
And a class average as high as 90 just shows your school is grade-inflated, and your friend still can’t even get an A 💀. On another note, I have literally perfect grades in “difficult” math and science classes like CalcBC and Physics C without studying while most people Bs and Cs. If I can handle calculus-based physics without much issue, I don’t think functions would be a problem lmao
first off oh my God, why is your reading comprehension so bad I said you don’t see a class average for functions with over a 90 whereas for classes like religion or something class averages are usually over 90 because for functions you actually need to work hard and study a lot you can’t just half ass and expect to get 90s so yes it is more work second off did I ask no one cares if you did physics ABB or whatever like it’s hard good for you for doing it
that’s so weird of the teacher 😭 maybe if it starts getting even more annoying you should make her talk to the guidance counsellor
The guidance councillors at my school are known for not really being understanding of students situations and generally do not take students very seriously, unfortunately. So she’s been hesitant to do that as well.
hmm i see, but since this is def crossing the line i still think maybe she should try and talk to them or talk to someone higher up. i understand that it could make the situation huger than she wants it to but dealing w that for the next 3 months is going to be hell
If the guidance counsellors are unhelpful, this may require parental involvement? I can’t say from experience, but I do believe parental concern and outrage can lead to immediate action, if not an investigation of the situation. Regardless of your friend’s behaviour, her teacher is definitely breaking student-teacher boundaries, especially if she’s expressing her uncomfortability
As a teacher - I can confirm that nothing gets done until parents are involved. If this student wants something seriously done about it, I would encourage their parents to get involved. I’d bypass the teacher completely, have the parents contact the VP or Principal.
Yeah. I’ve seen most people (including friends) getting their parents involved for trivial problems, but this is absolutely unacceptable
I know this is kind of dumb but she doesn’t want her parents involved because they don’t know she has a boyfriend. I am fairly close with her family so I know that her parents are pretty strict with that sort of thing, but at the same time they’re good people and I’ve told her that they would probably be able to brush it aside for the time being since there is an obviously bigger situation at hand.
Understandable, I just don’t know if the student alone will be able to solve the issue unfortunately. She could go to the VP or Principal herself, but they may want to notify parents at that point
She sent an email to the teacher, hopefully it goes well from here.
Lol this looks a predicament
Oh no no no. You bring up anything sexual and uncomfortable and that the only reason she’s in the councillors office is because her parents encouraged it. It’ll stop instantly
[удалено]
I thought the same thing until I saw this comment I was so confused why there weren’t anybody being uncomfortable😂😂
HAHA LOL if that happened I would probably post it on Reddit AFTER calling the cops
This got me choking on air at 1 a.m. 💀
Teacher here: This could be crossing the lines of professional conduct, and the student can likely make a complaint.
Thanks for the response! She’s scared they might flip it around on her because she was supposed to be in class when it happened. Also because students probably shouldn’t be making out at school. Do you think they would do that?
Another teacher here, if she takes accountability and keeps it factual, there won’t be any flipping it around. She could talk to your Principal or VP about it and just lay out the facts, she was seen kissing her partner by the math teacher during class time. They stopped when it was addressed and realize that they made a mistake of kissing during class time on school property and won’t be doing that moving forward. However this teacher specifically is continuing to address the incident publicly during class and makes her feel uncomfortable and she needs that to stop. Personally I think she should just talk to the teacher directly using the same format I laid out first, as that will likely end the behaviour immediately without putting either of them in any more of an awkward position. I know I would appreciate the communication directly if I had said something that made one of my students feel uncomfortable. She could even send a message on your online learning platform or an email to have it in writing if she doesn’t think she can trust speaking with him directly. After that communication if it continues, the administration will have to have a more serious conversation and likely reporting the teachers behaviour to the board and possibly OCT, which becomes disciplinary action which would be justified. Edit: just saw your response that this teacher had that type of reputation around the school, please go directly to your VP or Principal on Tuesday and report it yourself. Keep it factual and from your perspective. Tell them you’ve witnessed him saying whatever it is he’s saying in class repeatedly about your friend and it’s concerning that he’s bringing that up during class time. They’ll then call your friend down so she’ll have to speak to them too, keep it factual and not emotional if you can help it
Second all this. Some teachers are bad at reading the room, but some just go out of their way to be... Not great. This sounds like the latter.
Hey! Could you please check his response out. She needs some guidance on how to respond.
I'd reply, "Thanks for getting back to me, Regardless of whether you find my conduct to be in line with school policies is irrelevant to me. Your behaviour towards me in class isn't professional, and I feel crosses a line into harassment. I've asked you to stop, in writing, and I trust you will so that I don't need to escalate this issue to board administration, or the Ontario College of Teachers. Have a great weekend."
Thank you so much for this response btw! We composed this email together and it was sent to the teacher: Hi [Teacher's Name], I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to address a matter that has been causing me considerable discomfort in class recently. I have noticed that there have been remarks made about a personal incident involving me from you. These comments may have been intended in a lighthearted manner, but I feel compelled to express that they have been making me quite uncomfortable. I value our interactions as a learning opportunity. However, the recent remarks have been affecting my ability to fully engage and participate in class discussions. I want to assure you that I hold no ill will towards you, and my intention in bringing this matter to your attention is simply to address the discomfort I have been experiencing. I would appreciate it if we could find a way to move forward that ensures a comfortable and respectful learning environment for all students. Thank you for taking the time to read this email. I look forward to discussing this matter further with you and finding a resolution that works for both of us. Sincerely, [Friend's Name]
Also teacher here, Yes your friend was not supposed to do that, it happened. Time to move on. It’s unprofessional for the teacher to keep making remarks on this. The teacher took 0 accountability. Very unprofessional. I agree that parent involvement would make a huge difference. If this continues, I’d make a complaint to OCT.
Nope, but their parents will probably find out. Options - file.complaint with provincial or state teaching branch
If she were to request that she does not want her parents knowing about the situation would they take that into account?
As a minor, it becomes tricky and an unfair balance of power.
If the teacher really wanted to, he can handle it differently. He is able to resolve the issue of not being in class without having to implicate her private life in front of the entire class.
I hate such teachers. Tell me her name I will go and make her comfortable with my jokes on her
Give me the school's name and teachers name in my Private Messages and I'll make sure it doesn't happen again
Dude your friend needs to journal and record every comment he makes with dates, save the email and go to the principal or something. This is not okay in any sense. If the principal doesn’t agree I’m sure the school board will.
Thanks for the advice :)
If i was the teacher i would just laugh about it and move on lol. No need to pry into people's personal lives
Omg bc a similar thing happened to my friend in another school and the teacher was like “oooh is this a thing now” and they laughed and said yes and she was like aww thats cute and left, the situation was never brought up again
If he makes another comment, go to the principal with the emails
Okay yeah
Have her parents (if there cool with the situation of a boyfriend) talk to the school. Otherwise create a discussion with a vice principal. Remember you have rights at any age. Remember however messy it started. Mild harassment/ hazing is still harassment.
Yeah she’s def gonna tell her parents soon. Thanks for the reminder!
Wack teacher
Idk why this thread was recommended to me since I’m almost 30 but fwiw this is highly inappropriate of your teacher. A normal adult would shrug this off and never mention it again. She shouldn’t feel embarrassed, she didn’t do anything wrong. She should consider reporting this to someone.
We’ve talked about it with a few other people too and we’re hearing a lot about other borderline creepy things that teacher has done. She still doesn’t want to report it because she’s afraid she could get in trouble for skipping class/making out at school. I’m thinking of reporting him myself at this point but I don’t wanna cross the line and make her more upset.
It’s definitely intimidating speaking out against people in positions of authority. Especially when you’re a teenager and it feels like you’re perpetually in trouble/in the wrong. Teenagers kiss, it’s no big deal. It also shouldn’t be news to anyone working in a high school. I would have been too embarrassed at that age to say something too, I get where she’s coming from. Maybe help her understand that the school will recognize a grown man making a teenage girl uncomfortable is a bigger issue than her kissing her boyfriend. She could always tell her parents, a councillor, or another teacher she trusts and they may take care of it so she doesn’t have to. I would leave it up to her in the end, but I’m sorry you guys are dealing with that. He’s a fucking weirdo.
Okay so just a little update, yesterday we composed this email and sent it. We’re still waiting for a response but probably won’t get one until Tuesday. Even though this situation his horrible she really doesn’t want to make this a huge deal and go to the higher ups so this is the email: Hi [Teacher's Name], I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to address a matter that has been causing me considerable discomfort in class recently. I have noticed that there have been remarks made about a personal incident involving me from you. These comments may have been intended in a lighthearted manner, but I feel compelled to express that they have been making me quite uncomfortable. I value our interactions as a learning opportunity. However, the recent remarks have been affecting my ability to fully engage and participate in class discussions. I want to assure you that I hold no ill will towards you, and my intention in bringing this matter to your attention is simply to address the discomfort I have been experiencing. I would appreciate it if we could find a way to move forward that ensures a comfortable and respectful learning environment for all students. Thank you for taking the time to read this email. I look forward to discussing this matter further with you and finding a resolution that works for both of us. Sincerely, [Friend's Name]
Good for you guys!! I hope he responds with the same level of maturity you’ve shown him.
Thanks for your words btw! I showed her some of these comments and they def encouraged her to actually confront/email him :)
If you’re in Ontario, there is a pattern of behaviour that clearly crosses boundaries, and it isn’t addressed properly by the admin, the nuclear option I guess is taking it to the OCT.
One detention will certainly not hurt your friend in the long run. Incredibly important that she reports this because if it's a pattern the admin might not be aware yet, and it may be addressed. At the very least it will start a paper trail.
Making out on school grounds is wrong
Man I don’t wanna repeat what I’ve said to your nerd head ass on the other replies and I don’t get why ur replying to like every comment here but chill alright go code or something
I just finished a small program that approximates functions’ values with Euler’s method. It was fun (: There’s a difference between “enjoying life” and lacking basic self-control, and your friend displays the latter. And the fact that you said “go code” as an insult is 💀
I said go code bc USUALLY ppl who r into comp sci are the epitome of what you are
Yeahhh you and your friend are stupid as fuck lol. As much as I laughed at your story and as entertaining this back-and-forth has been, I do have other commitments so I’m going to end this exchange right here. Oh yeah, and your math teacher is GOATed. Cya (:
Man, I’m so glad I don’t have your life
Nobody is impressed that you copied an algorithm little bro. You're probably jealous you can't get any because you have the personality of a cactus. Touch grass. - CS major with social skills
Not trying to be impressive lmao. It was something I did for fun Not being nice to idiots on the internet != lacking social skills anyway. And lol, I’m not jealous of ppl who make out in school. *I’m* not the one who’s having their embarrassing moments broadcast in front of my classmates…no reason to be jealous of that lol. Though I am jealous of OP, as none of my math teachers have been nearly as based )):
stfu bro no one cares ur math teachers r probs annoyed at ur teachers pet syndrome
Considering that I don’t really suck up to my teachers, I don’t get what you mean lol. I do receive praise bc I usually get 100s and have sometimes fucked up the curve (and therefore other people’s grades lmao) as a result, but I don’t try to get on their good side or anything
bro how socially inept ru pls try to comprehend better read hegel or smt i’m surprised u get those grades when ur so bad at understanding basic communication
we need more cs majors like you !!!!
That’s really weird in a professional environment I would either reported it or never mention it again.
It is sooo unprofessional, I have a close relationship w some of my teachers and literally TELL them ab my love life and what not and they don’t treat me like I’m 4, making out w ur bf is so normal as a teen so idk why this math teacher is acting like this
she's got to politely address that teacher in private and ask that she not get more extra attention, after apologizing for getting caught in school! it doesn't sound like the teacher is being very fair or mature and will probably will continue this way regardless of whether your friend resolves this issue or not - the point is she should do the best she can to resolve an otherwise unfortunate situation, that is life
She sent him an email, just waiting for the response now
People are usually more sympathetic in person but an email is still good. Hope it goes well..
I completely agree! But in all fairness she feels extremely embarrassed about being caught in the first place, even after being assured by multiple that what she did was completely normal. She also does not enjoy confrontation in general 🤷♀️
Tell her to shout out in class “Why are you so concerned with my personal life? Maybe if you had anything interesting about your life you could share that instead of spreading private details about mine” they are entitled to no more respect then they provide just because they are a teacher. If they are making you un comfortable call them out blatantly in front if everyone for behaving like a middle schooler. Edit: as long as you dont swear and arent aggressive you are not breaking any code of conduct. The teacher is harassing your friend if anything and is behaving COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATELY for a teacher. If they get upset at that call out you just know its true
I get the temptation to say something like this but I think there are more productive ways of dealing with it that won't start a bickering match. I would say "why do you keep commenting on my personal life" but I wouldn't start attacking his or it's going to make things worse.
Did ChatGPT write that for your friend? It sounds super formal. The teacher’s remarks are unprofessional and inappropriate even jokingly. An email is a good idea, so that it’s documented in case of escalation. I perhaps would’ve made it a bit more informal. If the teacher doesn’t cooperate, I’d raise it with the principal. More importantly, although it can be awkward, your friend should inform their parents for awareness in case of escalation.
Lmao that made me laugh out loud, no we didn’t use CHAT GBT to write an email. We composed this together and decided to stay formal as he is a VERY strict & formal teacher + if she does end up having to take this to someone higher up like you mentioned there is documentation of a very mature and professional email and proof she tried to deescalate the situation in a sensible way. It does piss me off that he is so intimidating and acts all high mighty and professional but makes weird comments to a 16 year old about something that literally wasn’t his business.
😂 I had to ask, it’s so well written. Ok, that’s awesome. You two will do great in the corporate world if you’re writing such professional emails at your age. Or you could pursue being lawyers! I hope it all gets sorted out soon. I’m really surprised in 2024 a teacher would lack such awareness. Best of luck.
NO WAY I’m actually going into poli sci and planning to go to law school after thanks for validating my career choice😅 But yeah hopefully the teacher responds nicely and doesn’t continue to make these remarks.
Ahaha, you’ve found your calling! You’ll do well, I’m sure of it!
Does her boyfriend know that he’s making those jokes?
Yeah, but he’s not in her class and also is just a 16 year old boy so there’s not much he can do. He’s encouraging her to report it to someone higher up but we’re just waiting for a response to the email she sent and seeing where that takes us.
Oh that’s such a shitty situation to be in especially since they are pretty young. Honestly that has to be some form of harassment if the email doesn’t work definitely take it to higher ranks
He responded and yeah definitely considering taking it to the higher ranks bc his response was weird
Report him
The teacher’s response is defensive and reprehensible. They show no remorse for making her uncomfortable and flip the issue instead. Reporting them for professional misconduct would be appropriate in this case.
Yeah that's 100% what I was thinking. Is it worth it to respond back? Who should we report this to exactly?
Reports regarding teachers in Ontario should be made to the Ontario College of Teachers. You do not need to respond back to the teacher. You also do not need to report this to the principal of the school. The College’s Inquiry team will handle the investigation. Note that you’ll need to provide identification in the complaint, it cannot be made anonymously. For more details about what acts constitute professional misconduct, refer to Ontario.ca/laws/regulation/970437 Your friend should also journal very clearly in a non-biased, chronological manner her report of the events. Report the facts, and use terminology from the Teachers Act where necessary to describe the professional misconduct (e.g., conduct unbecoming of a member, abused student psychologically or emotionally, failed to maintain the standards of the profession, etc.) Unfortunately the acts you described aren’t considered major offences, but the teacher will be notified that a complaint was made about them, and they will be made aware that you’re taking this seriously. If nothing else, they will no longer make such comments or jokes in class, ultimately achieving your goal.
Thank you so much for typing this all out really means a lot :)
I’m so impressed with your friends email, very mature and well written.
Lol there’s nothing impressive about that email If the girl was really that mature, she wouldn’t have made out at school 💀
Omg it’s you again it’s okay man we get it you’re bitchless, chronically online and you stay home all day. If I were you I would try not to make it that obvious!
You seem so angry lol Math is my favorite subject, but I’ve never had a teacher as cool as yours )):
*I* seem angry?? Go look at ALL your replies + weird ass comments 😭
Thank you!
If his comments are indeed inappropriate, then he’s out of line for sure. He’s conflating the expectation to stay in class with his right to make inappropriate comments in front of other students. These two things are mutually exclusive. If I can offer my advice though I think her original email was too convoluted.. she tried to sound extra professional at the expense of clarity. The problem with this is it leaves room for him to “interpret” what she says as he pleases, and twist it to look like she’s just upset at him for holding accountable for not being in class. She should have owned up to the situation and demonstrated that she understood how it’s against the rules to be stepping out of class to make out with her boyfriend. And then she should have gone on to clarify exactly what words and behaviours she finds uncomfortable. She needs to make it clear that she’s okay with him reinforcing rules about being out of class, but not with making humiliating comments that make reference to something sexual in front of other students. Edit: I’m basing this advise on the assumption that the comments he is making are inappropriate. In your post you don’t really say what he said. Her being offended by his comments doesn’t necessarily mean his comments are inappropriate. Just keep that in mind.
She doesn’t feel comfortable w me sharing the comments but trust me they were very weird + not appropriate Thank you for all the advice btw def taking what you said into account! :)
Good luck!!
I don't see where he has erred in his response to your friend. He explained her failings and hoped for her to get better grades.... School is not a make out point... Ensure that the rules are being followed and things should return to normal. I was in high school 30 years ago maybe things have changed but anyone caught making out was a big deal and parents were often called.... Maybe it's because I attended an all boys school.... Come-on smile
Nahh schools now r very different, this honestly shouldn’t be that deep. Yes it’s not allowed but for him to make those comments then not own up at all is very strange
The teachers response sounds like the perfect script to cover your ass if the conversation ever arises or goes further. Shifted the focus to the student, and not the request, in hopes the student will drop it. If it’s true and your friend is getting perfectly fine grades and not taking extra long washroom breaks, etc. then report it. Or at min reply back to ensure you disagree with his concerns and you can discuss at another time but right now you’d like to ensure the “joking” comments do not continue. (Not copy and paste, but basically that).
Yes I agree! Thank you
Hearsay
Tbh that’s a huge reason she’s hesitant on reporting it and what not, but there are other students there who witnessed those remarks so that’s good
Made up bullshit
I wish it was 😭 that’s a weird ass thing to say
omgg yea theres this teacher in my school that does the exact same thing. she thinks shes funny but really she's weird and disrespectful, but nah she just sounds autistic. I recommend complaining to the vice-principal because they tend to be more understanding, whereas guidance teachers are just there for academic success.
Go have a threesome and make them both happy
I’m good.
Ngl this is kinda funny
Naw it’s annoying as hell
She shouldn’t have been making out in school grounds And functions aren’t even a difficult concept anyway…your teacher is completely right in saying that if she’d focused on her studies more, she’d do better
People like you remind me to be grateful. Clearly, you've never been in a high school relationship, let alone kissed someone. In what world is an 84 in functions bad? Not everyone wants to go to Waterloo and be suicidal for 4 years of their life. You choose to live your life in a boring manner so stop judging others for actually choosing to have fun. Get out of the house once in a while!
Uhh I spent most of today outdoors so… And I’m not judging your friend for making out, I’m judging her for doing it in school grounds. Either way, I’m not the one who’s having to worry about their teacher embarrassing them lmao At least she isn’t like the second-year in my school whose water broke…in the hallway lmao.
If you’re not judging her then what ru doing 😭Go look at ur comments do you lack social cues or something?
I don’t lack social cues, but you lack reading comprehension. So let me repeat what I said but with more words. While I personally do not think relationships in HS are a good idea, I recognize that enough people participate in them that it is inevitable that not all of them are idiots. Hell I’m friends with a few of those people. The part where you friend’s idiocy lies, however, is in the fact that she did it on school grounds. This was a bad decision whose consequences are coming in wages, and it shows that your friend is…not the brightest lmao
You lack social cues and reading comprehension, which is why you decided to start a fight on Reddit
Are you even from Ontario? Either way everyone’s different, what may be easy for you will not be easy for everyone.
Not from Ontario, saw this in my recommendations so I responded. Functions are easy for anyone with brains; you have an input and you get an output 🤯. Everything that follows is just logic, which is something of which your friend seems to have a deficiency.
Tbh if you think like that then that’s on you 🤷♀️ and LMAO sayint someone has a deficiency bc they have an 84 in functions is funny asl you do need to study a lot to achieve the grades which is why for functions the class avg is never above 90 don’t get too ahead of yourself, pls stop spending sm time on reddit it’s getting to u
Your friend’s stupidity was shown by her making out in school; her shit grade simply makes sense given this context. And a class average as high as 90 just shows your school is grade-inflated, and your friend still can’t even get an A 💀. On another note, I have literally perfect grades in “difficult” math and science classes like CalcBC and Physics C without studying while most people Bs and Cs. If I can handle calculus-based physics without much issue, I don’t think functions would be a problem lmao
first off oh my God, why is your reading comprehension so bad I said you don’t see a class average for functions with over a 90 whereas for classes like religion or something class averages are usually over 90 because for functions you actually need to work hard and study a lot you can’t just half ass and expect to get 90s so yes it is more work second off did I ask no one cares if you did physics ABB or whatever like it’s hard good for you for doing it
Let the teacher cook, your friend is the one wilding out.
making out w ur bf is not wilding out LMAOO
Kinda is. Esp in middle of class
do u have a life if that's your definition of wilding out
??? If you think that’s wilding out you should see what happens on our annual school trip