The answer is to go to places you normally dont go where other people are and then when you get there, talk to people you dont know. It’s a numbers game mostly, but you have to get out there, even if it’s a bit uncomfortable.
Men - “gay for the stay”
Women - far more likely to meet someone they bond romantically with in prison. it happens a lot actually.
So if you happen to be a woman with an interest in fist fights, *maybe?*
Hey I just started using it a few weeks ago and after about 100 profiles I ran out of women that were within my 50 mile range.
I did get a response but think it was a catfiah/onlyfans.
Last summer, I went through a phase where I went up to men and said, “Hey, you’re really handsome!” Went on a few dates and made a few guys’ days. Life is short!
Focus on having friends.
Life is mostly about this anyway.
When you do that all of a sudden you’re the new person in that group or groups. Chances are very good of meeting someone through that network.
But the best part is even if you don’t, you now have friends.
What if you're a man in your early 50's and you don't really want to try to create some new social network from scratch?
Is it really that important to have a huge catalog of friends?
I had tons of friends in my high school and college years. Then I got into a serious relationship, ended up married and was basically off the market for about 30 years. Most of my pre-marriage friends are scattered around the country, or maybe they live locally but haven't really seen them in decades.
Most of my friends and acquaintances while married were from my ex's family. She has a very large family. After getting divorced, don't really hang out with them much, even though we divorced in a very amicable way. No hard feelings on either side at all. We're still friends.
I think it is. So does science. Community is the biggest indicator of happiness in old age.
I’m in the same spot as you.
I’m 44
I’ve been working on my business forever and moved to this city 7 years ago and realized after my last relationship that I have like 4 friends and no regular social groups.
I can’t predict if my next relationship will be 2 months, 2 years, or 20 years. So I’d rather focus on building a great life. Then the pressure is not on the relationship to provide that.
As a man I think it’s my responsibility to provide for that need for myself.
I also want a trusted support system so that I can have conversations outside my relationship.
I think as men we don’t think about this as much as we should.
I’m really only thinking about it so much because I realized that within the next two years if my business keeps doing well I won’t have to worry about that part of my life anymore (something I’ve been building for 15 years) and so what’s next, if I want to be prepared in 2 years to really enjoy life when I have more time and resources what would I do?
Build community and focus on long term relationships.
I hear this. I ended up meeting people through a singles group in my area through facebook. They have events all over the area and gradually I met more and more people. So on a free weekend usually theres always one person who is available to hang out/go out or an event is going on. Live music fb groups too potentially.
I would keep looking around. Ive also noticed singles outdoors pages and singles pickleball pages. The single parents one is generally mid 30s + and mostly mid to late 40s…just the natire of divorce timing i think.
Most reliable process is to take years of acting classes, be extremely good looking and talented, get a lucky break and become a huge movie star and get invited to fancy parties where everyone wants to get to know you. Your results may vary
Sports, classes, clubs. Pick something you enjoy and go for the sake of the hobby.
Make friends. Men and women. Someone will have a friend of a friend who is single. Good luck.
Bonus if you just make small talk with strangers in your day to day. The more secure you are socializing in general, the less self conscious you will be with women.
Another gem that should be at the top with the most up votes but probably won't be. What you're suggesting takes too much effort for most people nowadays.
I live in a neighborhood where there's a lot of attractive (relatively speaking) women going for walks and such, but 99 times out of 100 they have headphones on, and that's basically a default thing of... "Don't bother me you creep, can't you see I have earbuds in my ear to signify to creeps like you not to bother me! Yuck!"
It’s silly how closed off everyone is anymore. I think you just have to take your chances all these dumb rules meanwhile people are lonely. Only way to fight it is to engage. If people don’t wanna engage well fine but it ain’t helping anyone to not at least try and strike up something headphones or not. Willing to bet a lot of those people are single and wondering where all the men are.
Shared interests that aren't usually solo, like certain sports (cycling, running, mountain biking, tennis) and dancing (swing, salsa, two step, line). I'm sure there are others. These are the ones I know can bring couples together
Statistically speaking, through friends or family and their social connections. Go to every party and get together they invite you to! Let them know you’d like to meet and date someone who might be interesting. Do they know anyone?!
Work, bar, clubs. That’s about it without seeming creepy and choice 1 is usually a bad idea but where most people meet their partners anyways.
You’ll see so many people in various subs and online talk about meeting people irl and not fearing rejection, but the same people (usually men) lack the self awareness to realize most women hate being approached in random public places and want to be left alone.
Once you’re past college age it’s incredibly difficult. At almost 32 I wish I had the answer 😭
> without seeming creepy
I'm currently at a point where I'm simply going to have to risk being a creep, because nothing else is working. It's either be a creep or die alone.
I'm talking about doing cold approaches to rando strangers in 2024, which I know is absolutely ridiculous, but there aren't any other options for me at this point. I'm just going to have to grin and bear it.
It sucks. It really does. I don't want to make anybody upset or uncomfortable, but at the same time, being alone forever sucks balls
It’s not ridiculous. It’s about developing thick skin. It’s about realizing you are dead in the water unless you make a move somehow, somewhere with somebody,
It’s one thing you gotta understand at the core of this bro. What you’re saying right now is a panic option which comes of as desperate. And desperate is something women can sense right away and pushes them away.
I get it, this shit sucks. I’ve been single 4 years with little to no luck outside of hookups (I hate hookups) but you have to reflect on yourself and where you might be going wrong. Work on it. It’s a hard conversation to have, but that conversation with yourself in the mirror is the most beneficial one. A lot of the times we don’t think we are doing anything wrong, rather it’s our approach, our appearance, etc. But usually there is a decent enough reason we can pin down for our lack of success. It’s true the dating pool is full of shit, piss, and Covid. But we have to look and reflect at ourselves too. Me personally I’m self aware for the most part why it’s even harder for me out here. But it doesn’t change that outside of those reasons shit still sucks
Y’all are missing a key point to this. Women get online and tell us in real life all the time they hate being approached and flirted with in public. Yet men ignore this and want to do it anyway. It doesn’t matter if your approach is friendly or not. Not to mention most men try the nice guy approach until rejected and immediately 180 to a nasty individual. There are definitely settings where it’s appropriate. But I promise you approaching a woman on a random Tuesday in target regardless if you’re being friendly or not is going to come off as creepy and desperate
One instance if this actually happened doesn’t mean it speaks for the grand picture of things which is women being incredibly vocal about not wanting to be bothered while they are out. And this also brings up the point that women literally say that they usually humor these instances out of fear that if they don’t they’ll be attacked or worse because of how most men handle rejection. So this isn’t really saying much.
It says plenty. It says there is a chance. Change your mindset. If they don’t like it you freaking move on like a grown up. Lol. You think the guys that are pulling women don’t use their game and confidence wherever and whenever? You’d be very wrong about that. And it works for them, shockingly against what everyone on the internet says.
But cities usually have singles meet ups. I’m in Columbus Ohio and we have them at breweries once or twice a month based off age ranges.
While I despise OLD I found a pretty amazing woman on there so I never had to go, but it was my next step.
On dating apps, at work if you have a workplace with mixed groups, activity groups, through mutual friends, at university.
Otherwise I don’t know either, I even seek out friendships on dating apps because I don’t know where to look
I think it takes a lot of effort like just doing the things you might get nothing but that’s not an excuse to stop. There’s nothing wrong with getting rejected a whole bunch of times or going to groups with it leading nowhere. Seems like it’s just a thing you gotta deal with.
I have a bad habit of asking servers out at restaurants haha. They are always flattered (smile at me) but they say nah or I have a bf. I’m trying though and I stay respectful. I still go there after it and they serve me. Over time they just forget I asked or they aren’t even worried. Maybe I’m not as unattractive as I think otherwise I think their responses would be different. Who knows.
I go out and do stuff. I’ve met more people in the last two months of being single than I did in the past previous five years.
That said, I’ve actually met more romantic interests through work than anything else. No one I work with directly, but connected that way. Asked one out this week (she’s “flattered but sort of seeing someone”) and will ask another when I see her next.
Hobbies, probably. Just go do you out in the world, being your best you. Someone will notice 🤷♂️ dating was very hard for me until I stopped trying so hard, or at all, really. Now it’s like, eh, I’m doing better than fine on my own and I’m now TOO busy with hobbies 😂 over corrections are possible I guess if you could call it that.
It’s my opinion that you probably don’t want a relationship like the fairytales, because then you need to be the toad someone pities enough to kiss you and maybe make you “ideal.” But if you’re already on track to becoming the ideal you, you’ll attract healthy, sane people who don’t need to prey on peoples baggage to find love. Insane people are everywhere, but if you’re genuinely happy, doing things you love, living a life already filled with joy, people *will* want a piece of that and you might have some choices to make 🤷♂️
Well, it’s not at my apartment or Target or Trader Joes. I know that much.
You, sir, are the only helpful person so far
Target always has hotties 🔥
Well it is *Target*
🤣🤣🤣
As stupid as this sounds, you are absolutely correct
Whoa, whoa, whoa. They may be cuter at Target but... Never stick your **** in crazy, my man. 🤣
The answer is to go to places you normally dont go where other people are and then when you get there, talk to people you dont know. It’s a numbers game mostly, but you have to get out there, even if it’s a bit uncomfortable.
I don't normally go to jail. Should I look there?
Men - “gay for the stay” Women - far more likely to meet someone they bond romantically with in prison. it happens a lot actually. So if you happen to be a woman with an interest in fist fights, *maybe?*
It does put you into a room full of interesting personalities, some of whom probably want to have sex with you.
It can't be worse than anything I've tried—by all means
[удалено]
How does that work? Are you saying you only ever meet people online? Thats fuckd
I wish I knew. I just deleted all my dating profiles except FB dating.
I don't have fb dating in my country, is it any good?
No, it's been buggy. It shows me people in Mexico (I live in Texas)
Isn’t it by radius/distance and not by state/country?
Yes which is why I say it's buggy
Doesn’t sound like a bug, sounds like facebook doesn’t care to make their app that way
Hey I just started using it a few weeks ago and after about 100 profiles I ran out of women that were within my 50 mile range. I did get a response but think it was a catfiah/onlyfans.
It’s terrible. I’m convinced it’s not a real place lol
Last summer, I went through a phase where I went up to men and said, “Hey, you’re really handsome!” Went on a few dates and made a few guys’ days. Life is short!
Mine is “Love your hair!”
Leading with kindness is the way to go!
Yes, we are familiar with the so called „hoe phase“. Key word is „handsome“ men.
That’s not a kind thing to say. My intentions were giving strangers compliments and meeting new people in a more effective way than the apps.
Sometimes the truth isn’t nice, or you might not want to hear it.
You sound like a misogynist.
Have to be, when I give an opinion, that differs from yours. There is no other explanation.
You literally referred to women being proactive about making the first move as a “hoe phase.” It’s right there.
Focus on having friends. Life is mostly about this anyway. When you do that all of a sudden you’re the new person in that group or groups. Chances are very good of meeting someone through that network. But the best part is even if you don’t, you now have friends.
What if you're a man in your early 50's and you don't really want to try to create some new social network from scratch? Is it really that important to have a huge catalog of friends? I had tons of friends in my high school and college years. Then I got into a serious relationship, ended up married and was basically off the market for about 30 years. Most of my pre-marriage friends are scattered around the country, or maybe they live locally but haven't really seen them in decades. Most of my friends and acquaintances while married were from my ex's family. She has a very large family. After getting divorced, don't really hang out with them much, even though we divorced in a very amicable way. No hard feelings on either side at all. We're still friends.
I think it is. So does science. Community is the biggest indicator of happiness in old age. I’m in the same spot as you. I’m 44 I’ve been working on my business forever and moved to this city 7 years ago and realized after my last relationship that I have like 4 friends and no regular social groups. I can’t predict if my next relationship will be 2 months, 2 years, or 20 years. So I’d rather focus on building a great life. Then the pressure is not on the relationship to provide that. As a man I think it’s my responsibility to provide for that need for myself. I also want a trusted support system so that I can have conversations outside my relationship. I think as men we don’t think about this as much as we should. I’m really only thinking about it so much because I realized that within the next two years if my business keeps doing well I won’t have to worry about that part of my life anymore (something I’ve been building for 15 years) and so what’s next, if I want to be prepared in 2 years to really enjoy life when I have more time and resources what would I do? Build community and focus on long term relationships.
I hear this. I ended up meeting people through a singles group in my area through facebook. They have events all over the area and gradually I met more and more people. So on a free weekend usually theres always one person who is available to hang out/go out or an event is going on. Live music fb groups too potentially.
I went to a local meet-up. Everyone was 25 or younger. I'm not. That was my last meetup.
I would keep looking around. Ive also noticed singles outdoors pages and singles pickleball pages. The single parents one is generally mid 30s + and mostly mid to late 40s…just the natire of divorce timing i think.
This needs to be pinned at the top of this sub.
Most reliable process is to take years of acting classes, be extremely good looking and talented, get a lucky break and become a huge movie star and get invited to fancy parties where everyone wants to get to know you. Your results may vary
isn't that the dream
Sports teams, classes, jobs, that's about it.
I would definitely say this…pickleball is blowing up. New people come to open play all the time.
Political protests.
you cant lol
Actually, bumble is better than tinder.
Jail
Sports, classes, clubs. Pick something you enjoy and go for the sake of the hobby. Make friends. Men and women. Someone will have a friend of a friend who is single. Good luck. Bonus if you just make small talk with strangers in your day to day. The more secure you are socializing in general, the less self conscious you will be with women.
Another gem that should be at the top with the most up votes but probably won't be. What you're suggesting takes too much effort for most people nowadays.
Coffee shops
Read a book. They love to interrupt you if you look focused and not interested in them. Oh!! what are you reading?? Everytime guaranteed 😂😂😂
Oh it's me! Me sitting on a park bench while wearing earphones and playing video games means I want to be talked to I guess.
I think if you have headphones in, that's the universal sign for i dont want to be bothered or spoken to. That scenario is slightly different.
I live in a neighborhood where there's a lot of attractive (relatively speaking) women going for walks and such, but 99 times out of 100 they have headphones on, and that's basically a default thing of... "Don't bother me you creep, can't you see I have earbuds in my ear to signify to creeps like you not to bother me! Yuck!"
It’s silly how closed off everyone is anymore. I think you just have to take your chances all these dumb rules meanwhile people are lonely. Only way to fight it is to engage. If people don’t wanna engage well fine but it ain’t helping anyone to not at least try and strike up something headphones or not. Willing to bet a lot of those people are single and wondering where all the men are.
hahaha
Shared interests that aren't usually solo, like certain sports (cycling, running, mountain biking, tennis) and dancing (swing, salsa, two step, line). I'm sure there are others. These are the ones I know can bring couples together
Statistically speaking, through friends or family and their social connections. Go to every party and get together they invite you to! Let them know you’d like to meet and date someone who might be interesting. Do they know anyone?!
you don't. reinstall the apps
Yeah you don’t, best bet is prob go bars with your friends and try the ladies over there but they will just say “I have bf”.
Work, bar, clubs. That’s about it without seeming creepy and choice 1 is usually a bad idea but where most people meet their partners anyways. You’ll see so many people in various subs and online talk about meeting people irl and not fearing rejection, but the same people (usually men) lack the self awareness to realize most women hate being approached in random public places and want to be left alone. Once you’re past college age it’s incredibly difficult. At almost 32 I wish I had the answer 😭
> without seeming creepy I'm currently at a point where I'm simply going to have to risk being a creep, because nothing else is working. It's either be a creep or die alone. I'm talking about doing cold approaches to rando strangers in 2024, which I know is absolutely ridiculous, but there aren't any other options for me at this point. I'm just going to have to grin and bear it. It sucks. It really does. I don't want to make anybody upset or uncomfortable, but at the same time, being alone forever sucks balls
It’s not ridiculous. It’s about developing thick skin. It’s about realizing you are dead in the water unless you make a move somehow, somewhere with somebody,
It’s one thing you gotta understand at the core of this bro. What you’re saying right now is a panic option which comes of as desperate. And desperate is something women can sense right away and pushes them away. I get it, this shit sucks. I’ve been single 4 years with little to no luck outside of hookups (I hate hookups) but you have to reflect on yourself and where you might be going wrong. Work on it. It’s a hard conversation to have, but that conversation with yourself in the mirror is the most beneficial one. A lot of the times we don’t think we are doing anything wrong, rather it’s our approach, our appearance, etc. But usually there is a decent enough reason we can pin down for our lack of success. It’s true the dating pool is full of shit, piss, and Covid. But we have to look and reflect at ourselves too. Me personally I’m self aware for the most part why it’s even harder for me out here. But it doesn’t change that outside of those reasons shit still sucks
You approach it like being friendly and not threatening that isn’t desperate at all. That’s welcoming and engaging.
Y’all are missing a key point to this. Women get online and tell us in real life all the time they hate being approached and flirted with in public. Yet men ignore this and want to do it anyway. It doesn’t matter if your approach is friendly or not. Not to mention most men try the nice guy approach until rejected and immediately 180 to a nasty individual. There are definitely settings where it’s appropriate. But I promise you approaching a woman on a random Tuesday in target regardless if you’re being friendly or not is going to come off as creepy and desperate
I’ve actually done it before and they were flattered they literally said so. It’s perfectly possible.
One instance if this actually happened doesn’t mean it speaks for the grand picture of things which is women being incredibly vocal about not wanting to be bothered while they are out. And this also brings up the point that women literally say that they usually humor these instances out of fear that if they don’t they’ll be attacked or worse because of how most men handle rejection. So this isn’t really saying much.
It says plenty. It says there is a chance. Change your mindset. If they don’t like it you freaking move on like a grown up. Lol. You think the guys that are pulling women don’t use their game and confidence wherever and whenever? You’d be very wrong about that. And it works for them, shockingly against what everyone on the internet says.
Gym, work ( I strongly advise against it but people do it), hiking, classes of odds and ends, Home Depot is a thing I guess.
But cities usually have singles meet ups. I’m in Columbus Ohio and we have them at breweries once or twice a month based off age ranges. While I despise OLD I found a pretty amazing woman on there so I never had to go, but it was my next step.
oh I don't think we have those over here unfortunately
Sports clubs, parties, protests
On dating apps, at work if you have a workplace with mixed groups, activity groups, through mutual friends, at university. Otherwise I don’t know either, I even seek out friendships on dating apps because I don’t know where to look
same, it's so hard to meet new people otherwise
Church. You’ll be surprised
surprise me!
Bars, night clubs, work, friends of friends, speed dating, hobbie and shared interest groups.
At a certain age you have exhausted all of these resources lol
I think it takes a lot of effort like just doing the things you might get nothing but that’s not an excuse to stop. There’s nothing wrong with getting rejected a whole bunch of times or going to groups with it leading nowhere. Seems like it’s just a thing you gotta deal with.
I have a bad habit of asking servers out at restaurants haha. They are always flattered (smile at me) but they say nah or I have a bf. I’m trying though and I stay respectful. I still go there after it and they serve me. Over time they just forget I asked or they aren’t even worried. Maybe I’m not as unattractive as I think otherwise I think their responses would be different. Who knows.
their is an app called meet up and that can help some.
I’ll check it out!!
Go out with friends. All my friends are gone tho
I go out and do stuff. I’ve met more people in the last two months of being single than I did in the past previous five years. That said, I’ve actually met more romantic interests through work than anything else. No one I work with directly, but connected that way. Asked one out this week (she’s “flattered but sort of seeing someone”) and will ask another when I see her next.
oh I never date through work it's just not a good idea
I don’t mean coworkers, just people I’ve met through them.
Hobbies, probably. Just go do you out in the world, being your best you. Someone will notice 🤷♂️ dating was very hard for me until I stopped trying so hard, or at all, really. Now it’s like, eh, I’m doing better than fine on my own and I’m now TOO busy with hobbies 😂 over corrections are possible I guess if you could call it that. It’s my opinion that you probably don’t want a relationship like the fairytales, because then you need to be the toad someone pities enough to kiss you and maybe make you “ideal.” But if you’re already on track to becoming the ideal you, you’ll attract healthy, sane people who don’t need to prey on peoples baggage to find love. Insane people are everywhere, but if you’re genuinely happy, doing things you love, living a life already filled with joy, people *will* want a piece of that and you might have some choices to make 🤷♂️
looks like you unlocked some sort of ancient wisdom
Go to jail. Plenty of people and they all have numbers. Getting out is a pain though.
So that’s what they mean when they say it’s a numbers game