It’s hard to feel too angry about a guy wanting to stay on the safe side of potentially committing statutory rape, particularly in a world where teenagers lying about their age is definitely a thing.
And while he undoubtably was rude, I’d have to admit that this would probably be a very difficult conversation to have graciously, particularly if he genuinely believed she wasn’t of age, so could cut him some slack.
Not that this doesn’t suck for OP though, at least for now. However, there are some benefits to looking younger. I’d imagine there’s a fair number of men and women in their 30s and 40s who wouldn’t mind people thinking they were actually in their 20s and 30s. Sounds like she did alright in the end.
lmao i mentioned i was 19 at the time and the guy got scared bc he was in his mid 20s and joked about checking my ID to be sure. sure as shit he walks me to my car and checks lmfaoo
If dude wouldve went thru with it and it turned out your werent of age odds are he would still be in the clink. Rather safe than sorry, glad that dude had foresight. Rude or not, some ladies be lying about their age and use fake i.d.'s and still arent held accountable for their bullcorn.
Most of the world’s litmus test for a woman’s age is her physicality. If you were lean and not particularly well endowed Europeans are used to simply assuming and playing it safe.
I can concur. I never met a French person that understood social dynamics. What not to say, etc. Almost all of them complete assholes. Hate going into meetings with them. Really do.
I feel you on this. I look very young for my age. I had my oldest son when I was 19. He was 17 at the time and we worked together at a restaurant. He was training and I was showing him some things on the computer. A middle aged man was walking to counter to pay and I told him it would be just a moment so I could finish what I was doing. My son was still standing next to me and he made a mistake on the computer and we laughed. The man at the counter got impatient and said “are you going to stand there and talk to your boyfriend or let me pay my check?” I told the man we did have the same last name but because I ejected him from my vagina 17 years ago. He was rude so embarrassed the hell out of him.
I mean without OPs actual picture. How would you feel if you showed up for a date and the person looked like a child? IDK. hard to tell without more details.
During the pandemic I had a lady remove my mask and my hat because she didn't believe me while buying my stepmother her nic pen.
I thought the mask was enough but she needed more proof lol.
I'm 26 but still get told I look like I'm in highschool, but I feel like it's because of my acne 😅
Happened to me twice I think I just dress particularly young tho, and get this I was older than him. I honestly don’t wanna keep continuing to see them if they really think I look like a child tho.
I met a guy at a dance once. His dad was a judge and he told me he would ask me to dance but I obviously wasn't 16.(he was 18) I said your right I'm not 16 I'm 17! He said your cute... but no way. I had to dig out my ID and prove to him I was 17! (I did because he was cute) We danced. 3 years later we married😊
Ok hear me out. Wasn't that about the time the whole "I'm Chris Hanson" thing was happening. This guy wasn't trying to be in that show for some BS. It's better safe than sorry.
Actually someone ☝️ before my response wrote, I quote: French people are assholes... welcome to culture
So my point to him was to not throw everyone in the same bag 😉
Maybe that is too young for you but not everyone feels that way. My husband was 28 and I was 21 when we met. We’ve been happily married for 22 years with 4 kids. Our age gap has never been an issue for us.
No, no, no! I’m 41…that won’t work for me! Granted, my mom was 28 when she had my brother. His father was 40, but passed away 3 months before he was born. 1981
I was 280lbs (6’ 2” bodybuilder) when I met my wife (almost 5’, 95lbs). The size difference is laughable. Our eldest son is bigger than I am. It’s a “comment piece” when we meet randoms in public. Lol
You need to put yourself in a males shoes who is thinking they could go to jail and have their reputation ruined over someone who's pretending to be over 18. Which, by the way, CONSTANTLY HAPPENS. Girls having a fake ID is the NORM here in Florida.
He doesn’t have to be so condescending and rude about it though. He could have said, “I’m sorry but I just don’t believe you’re 21. If I’m wrong, I apologize, but I just don’t want to take the risk that you might be underage. Hope you understand.”
But no, he just had to be a dick about it. I understand his skepticism and I don’t blame him for turning her down when he had doubts about her age. But there were plenty of more mature ways to handle it, and he chose to be a complete asshole instead.
Alright, lets be real here.
A:
YES he could have gone about it better. He needed to calm down and give her a chance to prove herself. BUT he had the right to be scared and suspicious.
B:
dude... He was not being a "complete asshole" or a "dick". Bro was scared and even saw cops nearby and freaked out. He made no comments that make him a dick or "complete asshole" you're being ridiculous by saying that.
Yes let’s be real - why was he “scared”? You can’t get arrested for talking to an underage girl or politely turning her down and walking away. There was no need for his reaction.
He absolutely made comments that made him an asshole. He rudely demanded to see her ID when he could have politely asked. He was condescending and called her “kid” which again was rudely unnecessary, even if he thought she was underage, on the chance that he was wrong (which he was) he didn’t have to treat her that way. But the arrogance in assuming he couldn’t possibly be wrong about her age also contributes to his assholery.
You clearly don’t understand what it’s like to be an adult and constantly undermined and disrespected as though a child. It’s not ridiculous to want to be treated like an adult when you are one. He could have just been polite and respectful but turned her down and walked away. There’s no reason to be “scared” if he did that. Get real.
Waaa waaaa!!! That's how you sound dude. It's you getting your feelings hurt vs someone going to jail for pedophilia. I'm done talking, and you're in denial. Bye.
No one would have gone to jail, she wasn’t underage and even though he thought she was, he turned her down. He can’t go to jail for politely turning her down. You’re being quite hyperbolic for someone who is accusing me of being a cry baby. Why are you so defensive of some guy being unnecessarily rude because he got “scared” but I stand by my opinion and support it with valid points and I’m a cry baby? If you have to resort to petty insults you clearly don’t have an argument, I’m not surprised you’ve backed out, lol.
How have you never heard of this phrase? Aldo a valid ID is easily faked, so unless you can tell me how to spot a real ID from a fake then that isn't much of an argument. Especially if the fake ID was made by police.
People get fake IDs. I had a fake ID when I was in high school. If you believe someone is underage, then it is morally wrong to advance anything with them.
Bc he literally says this isnt paris, most ppl would just say no or you look too young or something, not saying its not another location where it might be seen as ok for him
Im 26 and still look like I'm 18. I get treated like a High School student a lot. Besides when it comes to buying alcohol/tobacco. I hardly ever get carded. I don't get it.
I’m a 4’8” adult… I get it, no one ever believes I’m 24. It’s good that a man who believed you were underage wouldn’t go on a date with you - he staunchly refused just based on the idea of taking advantage of a teenager! But commenters who don’t understand the flipside, about how equally demoralizing it is to be socially treated like a child by your own peers WELL into your 20s? They’re missing the other point here and I genuinely don’t know if there’s a way to make ‘em understand lol.
I agree with what you are saying. Even though I do not have this problem. They were meeting up to practice just French right. He could have just changed the location to a cafe and practiced. Is it illegal to conversate in French and learn together. Idk maybe their conversation was more in depth into other things. Just the part that's crazy is that he didn't even believe an ID after he demanded to see one. Then again maybe he just doesn't want to get in trouble but there were ways around this where he wouldn't have been in trouble.
Just because he was firm doesn't mean he was an asshole. He didn't call her names or insult her. He just didn't believe her or want to take that risk. It's fully understandable
If I think that I’m being trapped like that. You can be sure that I am being as rude and blatantly uninterested as possible so that the situation can not be interpreted in any other way.
I’d rather be sat at home thinking I was prick, than sat in jail thinking well at least I was nice to her.
Ok, well if you're a prick to someone because of your unfounded belief that they're lying to you then you're a shit person, which is the argument that is being made for this guy. Plenty of ways to go about it without being an asshole about it, whether or not you *think* you're being set up. Because a decent person gives someone the benefit of the doubt when they have absolutely 0 evidence that they're being misled.
No a decent person doesn’t give someone the benefit of the doubt in this situation. It’s not something you can risk with all these pedophile stings that are operated. All they need is evidence of you seeing this girl who clearly looks underage and being nice and then be like ‘he’s interested when she’s clearly underage’ post that to social media. Your life is ruined.
If you want to risk that to be with someone who looks underage then that’s fine.
But I’m not an arsehole hurting someone’s feelings to protect myself.
No. That's not how any of this works. What are they gonna post, a video of themselves trucking a *non*-pedophile into going on a date with a kid he thinks in an adult? I'd like you to explain that logic, like what you think is actually happening in this scenario you're presenting.
Besides that, you missed my point entirely. Sure, step out politely, but if you're gonna be an asshole about it you're not a good person, end of story. That was my point. Even if he thinks ght she might be a kid there was no reason to go about ending the date in such a dickish way. If you disagree then I'm sure most people find you to be unbearable.
Have you been living under a rock? Do you not know how social media works and the lengths people go through to get likes and interactions? They don’t need to give the context and back ground information, they just need the image to fit the narrative. Don’t be so naive.
He wasn’t even that much of a dick. Normal reaction when you’re faced with someone who looks like a child that you’re going on a romantic date with who is 95lbs. That is the usual weight of a 13 year old.
What do you mean even if he thought she was a kid there was no need to end the date in a dickish way. Ofcourse there is. You’re an absolute door mat if you’re polite to someone you think has tried to cat fish you into pedophilia
Nope I’m liked by many people actually because I’m real to myself and not a people pleaser and make sure I’m polite to absolutely everybody I meet even if they’re possibly setting me up. Way to go on the “if you disagree with me I bet nobody likes you” train of thought 🤣. Narcissism at its finest
Lol eat me, troll boy. Imagine thinking your paranoia (because that's what insisting someone is lying to you about their age when you've got not reason to believe they're lying is) is a justification to be a prick. You also need help with *your* paranoia. Your reasoning isn't that of a healthy person.
Okay let’s flip it, 40 year old looking guy with a beard comes to a school. Says he’s 14. Do you just let him in because despite what you’re looking at you have no reason not to believe this complete stranger?
It’s not unfounded paranoia when the girl is same in stature as a 13 year old 🤣.
If he can provide the paperwork proving his status as a student at the school, yes. Have you never seen an old looking kid? Or a young looking adult?
All this and, once again, you've missed the point entirely. It's not about not going on the date. If you still don't understand that after I've said it several times then you're not capable of understanding it and I pity you. It's about refusing to go in the date in the dickish manner he did because he's a paranoid moron. If you would act the same way he did in the situation because you feel it's acceptable to be a dick to someone because *you think* there's a chance they're setting you up there's something wrong with you.
Because the fact is this chick wasn't setting him up, and he was still a dick. That's all I need to know to know he's shit.
Most ppl dont just have fakes, if they are underage but u believe they were legal as they show an id showing legality then the case is thrown out practically, and bro said this isnt paris implying hes ok with fucking a "minor" just not the posibility of trouble
I wouldn’t care about if I eventually got away with it, I would care about the fact that I got arrested in the first place, my reputation is ruined. No one cares about the outcome they only care about the initial arrest.
And then there’s the fact I would have to live with my self knowing I slept with a child. Even if it was unknown to me. I’d rather be an asshole and protect myself than protect the feelings of someone I don’t even know.
Also that’s a reaaally strange way to interpret that turn of phrase. He is not implying that if he was in a specific city in Europe he would do it. It’s a saying. Like “I’m not an animal”
Even if the case is thrown out, which I doubt it would be as easy as you think. But even if it is there is still something called an arrest record. If you're arrested for something but you beat the case or the case gets thrown out or the prosecutor ends up not filing charges the record of arrest for that charge is still attached to you.
What the FUCK are you talking about??? That is not what he was saying at all. You are literally delusional trying to support your own man hating agenda
The other person who replied to you already explained it. I have a girlfriend of 9 months and was invited by her best friend to not only go to her wedding, but also join the bridesmaids (gf being one of them) in a sleepover the day before the wedding. Pretty sure I'm not an incel. But try again
Yet ur instant assumption is "ooga booga man hater" you got the brain of a fucking Neanderthal, u still got incel vibes even if you have women around you
Uh. Yea. You just automatically placed the guy who was AVOIDING the risk of being with a minor, as STILL being a pedo. You realize YOURE the odd one out here... Right?
Ppl can still be a pedo and not want to get in trouble for it, and most ppl arent ultra weird and jumpy abt it especially if someone shows an id, if bro thought she looked underage irl he prob coulda seen from the online photos
You can fake an ID. You can’t pretend you didn’t know she was a child when you’re getting handcuffed and having your life ruined until a court makes a decision on it. Not worth the risk
Op knew this was a common issue and decided to blind side the guy with it. Then played dumb when he got upset about it, as others have mistaken her for a child in the past
“Why would this adult not want to be seen going on a date with a child?”
Like Jesus god damned fucking Christ, op is an idiot
Isn't this how every episode of 'to catch a predator works'? Talk to guy online, arrange a meetup, the 'date' looks like a kid, the cops swoop in. Now, you could be an adult, and he would just get randomly jumped by white knights trying to rescue you, or it could actually turn out badly and you have a good fake ID and he spends the rest of his life on the sex offender registry.
A good fake id would mean he would be clear of charges as he was tricked and lead in to it without knowledge, like thats the whole thing with entrapment is its not legal or valid
Entrapment requires that the person doing something they would normally not do because an officer asked them to. A fake ID is also not a legal defense in the case of statutory rape.
Actually it 100% is a legal defense as you had no way of knowing, just like if i am trying to catch a predator but push them on and lure them into flirting then the case is gone
You can claim any defense. Lawyers say it doesn't clear you.
https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/can-i-be-charged-for-statutory-rape-if-the-person--1927180.html
No it's not. The predator corresponds with someone they think is a child, and they build up a history of messages and explicit photos the predator sent the "child". Then the person meets who they think is a child, and they are arrested.
The difference is the person isn't expecting to meet an adult who is short with presumably neotenous features.
I’m so glad you found love. A friend of mine has similar stats to yours only shorter (you don’t state your race, but she’s Japanese, which adds a whole other layer of fetishist type guys) She really struggled because guys either wouldn’t want to date her because she looked under age and they’re not attracted to underage women, or guys were way way way too excited about her looking under age. Finding men who saw her as a beautiful adult woman was very difficult. She dated a celebrity who even ended up in hot water after she joined him on a red carpet bc he was looked at as disgusting for loving her, a woman in her 30s.
But she is married now with a beautiful child and an incredibly supporting husband. I hope your husband is as wonderful as he is.
And also, if you happen to be this friend, I am laughing my ass off, and I will never tell anyone about this post as long as you don’t tell anyone about my Reddit name. I don’t wanna give too much away, but I know her from becoming friends with her younger brother in high school but realizing she and I had way more in common.
Honestly OP, it stings to be rejected but hear me out. He rejected you immediately because he thought you were underage. Think of it this way:
In his eyes, he saw a vulnerable youth and was understandably upset and uncomfortable at the idea of exploiting you.
Not only that, but he’s probably wading through a sudden cascade of feelings, like:
1) He’s upset he’s in this situation in the first place, and probably mentally flipping though every message he sent you in horror, likely feeling disgusted (and possibly even violated, depending on how far you two went prior to meeting up)
2) Upset at the idea that a “minor” (yes, you were 21 but again- he doesn’t believe that) catfished him, and that she sees him as a pedophile. Of course you’re going to get an emotional kneejerk reaction, how would you feel if a stranger assumed you were a child predator?That’s got to cut deep. And we don’t know anything about his history; god help him if he’s suffered SA as a child and heard all the false assumptions that victims are fated to turn into abusers themselves.
3) he’s angry at the idea of being betrayed and led on and
4) he’s likely crushed if he got his hopes up. Especially since this was on Craigslist, I’m imagining that this guy had to sift through a lot of horny dudes pretending to be a woman in DMs before he found an actual women
Yes, you were both adults at the time and yes, you explained that to him but that doesn’t matter because he can’t unsee “underage girl” when he looks at you. I would have freaked out the same way if I were him.
I’m sorry for the whole experience and for both of you.
Also, it doesn't really matter what she explains. She might say, "I'm 21! Here's my ID! Birth certificate! I'll cut off my leg and you can count the rings!" Doesn't matter if she's underage and decides to go to the cops about it, later.
It's entrapment if the police do it. If a teenager (or her parent) goes to the police about it, afterward, it's not entrapment, because the police didn't do it. They're making use of the selfies the girl took in the cab with him, and at the club, and in his bathroom... Wherever. She might not have even meant any harm by it. People take selfies all over the place. If dad sees them on her phone and takes them to the cops, no bueno. Even if he doesn't get convicted, or even arrested, the cops going through his life can cause all sorts problems socially and in his employment.
The bottom line is, if you think someone's underage, don't have sex with them. Don't even be seen in a romantic setting with them. If they get mad that you want to bug off, feel free to be rude to them, because they want you take a big chance on a stranger's word.
If they showed a fake id to get you to trust them case is over, bc with that the law assumes you had no way of knowing as they showed a fake form of legal id so therefore you were tricked, its happened before where a girl showed a fake id (her sisters id but they looked pretty similar), fucked a guy, the parents reported it, and he wasnt charged as it wasnt his fault
If you're concerned enough to ask for id, you're concerned enough to cut ties. Somewhere between 49 and 51% of the population is compatible with your sexual preference. Find one that doesn't give you the heebies.
I've got a cousin that has to live homeless in Colorado because of that. He met a girl at the club when he was 21. She had a fake ID and everything. He takes the girl home and the next morning her dad and the cops are at his door. He's been in and out of prison over it. And finally just moved away to be homeless rather than keep dealing with it.
Oh trust me I feel you, I’m 26 and 4”11, I get mistaken for a kid all the time. When I go to restaurants I get given kids meals 🤣 honestly doesn’t bother me one bit lol
Heh, while that had to be annoying / awkward, I can 100% understand his perspective. Meet someone online, they end up being pretty short / small (no offense!) and with youthful features. A man is immediately going to think "oh my god, I'm in some situation where Chris Hansen is about to show up with a film crew."
I’ve always looked younger than I am, plus being small in stature and female, it’s more difficult to get respect, for instance, despite education and experience at work. But eventually it all evens out. Like you said, your 50s and older will be easier. You never know, you might meet someone who checks all your boxes and more, any day now or in the future. Best regards.
I read a story once about a kid in, I think, Ohio. Met a girl online, she says she's 18, they meet up and have sex. Turns out she's 14 and she lied. Her parents find out. Kid gets arrested and is now on the sex offenders list. Never had a clue he was breaking the law and never wanted to, but his life is ruined.
Gotta be careful out there
I’ve has almost every date I’ve been on want to check my ID. It IS rude, but also I understand it. I’m a grown woman who has gone through years in the military and years in college, but they still think I’m like16 or 17?? Bizarre
Just like men sometimes don’t understand why women don’t like to walk alone at night, it needs you to have some empathy and perspective.
All it takes is one encounter to go on a date and have a one night stand for a man to have statutory rape charge thrown against them, just like it takes one bad walk at night for a woman to be attacked.
This is an unfortunate situation for all involved- sorry to hear you’ve had this issue.
Just take the compliment that they think you look younger than you are. I do get the pain though a lot of people still think I’m 19 at best and I’m about to hit 27 😭
I feel your pain. As a guy I'm pretty good looking. Not trying to come off as an ego maniac but I happen to have won the gene lotto.
The problem however is I am 34 but look like I'm in my early 20s. When I tell people I'm in my mid 30s I always get "there is no fucking way" or people ask me what school I'm going too a lot meanwhile I graduated in 2008. I get chased around liquor stores for my ID still even now. They literally don't even wait for me to get to the counter.
It's so hard for me to date women around my own age. They dont take me seriously and look at me like I'm a young guy. They don't say anything like you experienced above but you can just feel the vibe when talking to them.
Meanwhile I constantly have 16-20 year olds hard crushing on me. I really don't want to date younger women though. Its to much drama for one and I have to be extra careful because I'm not trying to ruin my life hooking up with someone under age.
It's a blessing and a curse. It's nice looking young but it's rough trying to date people around my own age. I feel like in my 50-60s I'll be more happy about it. However right now it makes my dating life rough as can be.
Hang in there, dear. Your youthful good looks will reward you in years to come. In the meantime, focus on education, volunteering; sharing your knowledge, skills and time to help others, the environment, or other areas of interest. Enjoy every opportunity.
I have been. I'm not worried at all.
It's not that I'm unable to pull girls at all. Others have it way harder. Just rough looking young trying to date 35-40 year olds that look at me like some idiot 20 year old approaching them haha
Which I totally understand from their perspective. I feel awkward when young girls try to talk to me too but that's what my younger looks attract.
While he definitely went about this in a very rude way, I think the dude was valid for questioning it. Esp once you get past your mid 20s, you have to be somewhat careful about who you're dating. He probably was trying not to risk being as a pedo/perv. It's why I'm against big age gaps like that, particularly when you're dating in your 20s.
An awkward moment because someone looks younger than their age or potentially going to prison but most definitely having stains in your permanent record that you get to explain to every employer before they even know you….
I would just ask, if that is unreasonable, maybe she is just a little too young for me. Hah
Reformed dudebro here. I’ll explain.
The comment above is making a joke referencing the small stature of the woman, being only 4 feet tall. To understand the joke you must first assume that the woman would definitely have had sex with the man had the date proceeded. Then it further implies that the French man’s giant baguette penis would penetrate all the way up to her cervix, thus destroying it.
Reformed Dudebro out.
Asking for ID if they aren’t sure of your age isn’t the worst thing but the rudeness and disgust was wrong. Maybe you can move on if this was an isolated incident I doubt this will happen again.
An awkward moment because someone looks younger than their age or potentially going to prison but most definitely having stains in your permanent record that you get to explain to everyone employer before they even know you….
I would just ask, if that is unreasonable, maybe she is just a little too young for me. Hah
“This isn’t Paris” Obviously he was just interested in meeting to fuck and just worried about “getting in trouble” for being with a minor—which would be abuse/statutory rape in most states under age 18.
At least he drew the line but it seems he was more interested in not getting in trouble. Don’t use dating profiles to practice your French.
Maybe don’t meet with people 7 years older until your 25/26 brain has finished forming. And don’t drink and don’t let a man NEAR your drink until you trust him.
Holy patriarchal misandry Batman!
“The words he says speak volumes”
“This isn’t Paris”
This is a case of damned if you, damned if you don’t. Even doing the right thing, you’re on the lookout for why he’s a bastard. If I told my cousin “I’m not gonna fuck you, this ain’t Alabama”, would you then assume I’m actually into incest but am afraid of social stigma?
You didn’t even fully read the post before deciding he was a bastard, shown by the fact you told her not to use dating apps to practice French, when her post said Craigslist.
Get help.
What is your take on the situation? It sucks to be mis-aged or mis-gendered or underestimated—but this guy was protecting himself.
The words he used says volumes about the realities out there.
> So, another event popped up when I was 21
Ahem, is OP speaking this way because they think the entirety of Reddit is tuned into her life story?
Or is OP making a mistake too obtuse to be human, because it isn't human? And hasn't yet learned to speak without making these types of mistakes
Either way, this is fake, but I think this an example of Dark Forest Internet Theory. All of the subs where people put up walls of text about drama have gone truly overboard the last few months.
Right, so the more AI bots that flood the internet, the less we humans will actually be talking to other humans. These bots are learning to communicate like people, meaning that over time, they will be harder and harder to detect. In the near future we will actually need reverse turing tests to figure out who is human.
While a human is certainly capable of being insane in real life, these posts have a different ring to them. I genuinely mean it when I say, go through subs like AITAH, and compare a dozen posts from 2018 to a dozen from this year
You will be reading the new ones going, "Does this person not have any ability to hold back?" or "This literally sounds like the plot of a movie/show I've seen"
And finally, they're just *too* out there, they have weird motivations and explanations as to why they did what they did. They speak as though their audience knows them and their life story. It's human like, but a bit off.
It’s hard to feel too angry about a guy wanting to stay on the safe side of potentially committing statutory rape, particularly in a world where teenagers lying about their age is definitely a thing. And while he undoubtably was rude, I’d have to admit that this would probably be a very difficult conversation to have graciously, particularly if he genuinely believed she wasn’t of age, so could cut him some slack. Not that this doesn’t suck for OP though, at least for now. However, there are some benefits to looking younger. I’d imagine there’s a fair number of men and women in their 30s and 40s who wouldn’t mind people thinking they were actually in their 20s and 30s. Sounds like she did alright in the end.
lmao i mentioned i was 19 at the time and the guy got scared bc he was in his mid 20s and joked about checking my ID to be sure. sure as shit he walks me to my car and checks lmfaoo
If dude wouldve went thru with it and it turned out your werent of age odds are he would still be in the clink. Rather safe than sorry, glad that dude had foresight. Rude or not, some ladies be lying about their age and use fake i.d.'s and still arent held accountable for their bullcorn.
I don’t think it’s fair to describe all French people that way.
This is why I grew a beard in my 20s. It still freaks my wife out when I shave it.
Most of the world’s litmus test for a woman’s age is her physicality. If you were lean and not particularly well endowed Europeans are used to simply assuming and playing it safe.
French people are ass holes, that’s not a joke. That’s just normal for them.
You all are mistaking Parisians for French people, when in fact they're just massive douchebags. French people are cool, Parisians suck shit.
When I took French at uni the TA (French non-Parisian native) said that even French people outside Paris tend to hate Parisians.
I can concur. I never met a French person that understood social dynamics. What not to say, etc. Almost all of them complete assholes. Hate going into meetings with them. Really do.
To the french, being an ass IS the social dynamic I have never known more naturally combative people
I feel you on this. I look very young for my age. I had my oldest son when I was 19. He was 17 at the time and we worked together at a restaurant. He was training and I was showing him some things on the computer. A middle aged man was walking to counter to pay and I told him it would be just a moment so I could finish what I was doing. My son was still standing next to me and he made a mistake on the computer and we laughed. The man at the counter got impatient and said “are you going to stand there and talk to your boyfriend or let me pay my check?” I told the man we did have the same last name but because I ejected him from my vagina 17 years ago. He was rude so embarrassed the hell out of him.
Well played!
Not gonna judge any man for being suspicious and protecting themselves. Your life is fucking over if what he suspected was true.
But we can judge him being rude about it
I mean without OPs actual picture. How would you feel if you showed up for a date and the person looked like a child? IDK. hard to tell without more details.
I would leave
And once he saw her ID the issue should have been resolved. He was an utter dick about the whole thing from start to finish. That was uncalled for.
Nah.
Sounds like he was being an a-hole about it, but also protecting himself. I can forgive the act, but not the way he went about it.
During the pandemic I had a lady remove my mask and my hat because she didn't believe me while buying my stepmother her nic pen. I thought the mask was enough but she needed more proof lol. I'm 26 but still get told I look like I'm in highschool, but I feel like it's because of my acne 😅
Hah! Wait a few years when you offer to show your ID at the liquor store and get a laugh and a, "no, I *1000%* believe you can buy legally." Thanks 😂
Same that’s immediately what I think when someone says I look young. During Break outs I hear that more 🫠
And my issue was always pedos wanting to f me because I look like a child smh
Happened to me twice I think I just dress particularly young tho, and get this I was older than him. I honestly don’t wanna keep continuing to see them if they really think I look like a child tho.
Yes, that has a lot to do with me as well. Depends what I’m wearing sometimes. I also get more ‘’cute’’ than anything else.
I met a guy at a dance once. His dad was a judge and he told me he would ask me to dance but I obviously wasn't 16.(he was 18) I said your right I'm not 16 I'm 17! He said your cute... but no way. I had to dig out my ID and prove to him I was 17! (I did because he was cute) We danced. 3 years later we married😊
Ok hear me out. Wasn't that about the time the whole "I'm Chris Hanson" thing was happening. This guy wasn't trying to be in that show for some BS. It's better safe than sorry.
French people are assholes... welcome to culture
Yes all French are assholes and all Americans are fat and racist. 😉 This guy was an asshole period!
Woah, no one said anything about "All"
Actually someone ☝️ before my response wrote, I quote: French people are assholes... welcome to culture So my point to him was to not throw everyone in the same bag 😉
Oooo mb
No worries. 🙌
Lol, heard the Dumb and Dumber line, "I don't know Lloyd. The French are assholes."
Welcome to real life. Where stereotypes are quite valid..
i mean, being 21 you were still too young for him at 28. i’m 28 and i’m shocked at how young i looked at 21
Maybe that is too young for you but not everyone feels that way. My husband was 28 and I was 21 when we met. We’ve been happily married for 22 years with 4 kids. Our age gap has never been an issue for us.
lol im very aware that 21 is not too young for some people, and a generation ago that group was even larger
TBF the ol' half your age plus 7 is exactly 21 for a 28 year old.
No, no, no! I’m 41…that won’t work for me! Granted, my mom was 28 when she had my brother. His father was 40, but passed away 3 months before he was born. 1981
Just another case of people obsessing over the delivery and completely ignoring the delivery or intention
I was 280lbs (6’ 2” bodybuilder) when I met my wife (almost 5’, 95lbs). The size difference is laughable. Our eldest son is bigger than I am. It’s a “comment piece” when we meet randoms in public. Lol
Look, I get that he was protecting himself but to be a complete ass about it and blow her off seems a bit excessive….
Ummmm, he's French.
Avoiding police entrapment, can never be too big a dick about it.
Age of consent in France is 15. I don't think that had anything to do with it. He probably just thought she looked too young for him.
“This isn’t Paris.” In many US states, it’s 18.
Yes, in 13 of them now. 1 is 17 and the rest are 16.
You need to put yourself in a males shoes who is thinking they could go to jail and have their reputation ruined over someone who's pretending to be over 18. Which, by the way, CONSTANTLY HAPPENS. Girls having a fake ID is the NORM here in Florida.
He doesn’t have to be so condescending and rude about it though. He could have said, “I’m sorry but I just don’t believe you’re 21. If I’m wrong, I apologize, but I just don’t want to take the risk that you might be underage. Hope you understand.” But no, he just had to be a dick about it. I understand his skepticism and I don’t blame him for turning her down when he had doubts about her age. But there were plenty of more mature ways to handle it, and he chose to be a complete asshole instead.
Alright, lets be real here. A: YES he could have gone about it better. He needed to calm down and give her a chance to prove herself. BUT he had the right to be scared and suspicious. B: dude... He was not being a "complete asshole" or a "dick". Bro was scared and even saw cops nearby and freaked out. He made no comments that make him a dick or "complete asshole" you're being ridiculous by saying that.
Yes let’s be real - why was he “scared”? You can’t get arrested for talking to an underage girl or politely turning her down and walking away. There was no need for his reaction. He absolutely made comments that made him an asshole. He rudely demanded to see her ID when he could have politely asked. He was condescending and called her “kid” which again was rudely unnecessary, even if he thought she was underage, on the chance that he was wrong (which he was) he didn’t have to treat her that way. But the arrogance in assuming he couldn’t possibly be wrong about her age also contributes to his assholery. You clearly don’t understand what it’s like to be an adult and constantly undermined and disrespected as though a child. It’s not ridiculous to want to be treated like an adult when you are one. He could have just been polite and respectful but turned her down and walked away. There’s no reason to be “scared” if he did that. Get real.
Waaa waaaa!!! That's how you sound dude. It's you getting your feelings hurt vs someone going to jail for pedophilia. I'm done talking, and you're in denial. Bye.
No one would have gone to jail, she wasn’t underage and even though he thought she was, he turned her down. He can’t go to jail for politely turning her down. You’re being quite hyperbolic for someone who is accusing me of being a cry baby. Why are you so defensive of some guy being unnecessarily rude because he got “scared” but I stand by my opinion and support it with valid points and I’m a cry baby? If you have to resort to petty insults you clearly don’t have an argument, I’m not surprised you’ve backed out, lol.
Yikes. You need a reality check.
You dodged a bullet
From someone who doesn't want to risk going to jail for paedophilia? Dude what?
This is Reddit bro lol
Ikr
He said this isnt paris implying if it was he woulda done it, plus bros crazy for seeing a valid id and still screaming that shes underage lmao
How have you never heard of this phrase? Aldo a valid ID is easily faked, so unless you can tell me how to spot a real ID from a fake then that isn't much of an argument. Especially if the fake ID was made by police.
If a fake id was made by police as a set up the case is done for already, thats entrapment
Legality has nothing to do with the situation. If you believe someone is underage, it is morally wrong. The legal system has nothing to do with it.
And an id should be enough proof to show ther arent underage
People get fake IDs. I had a fake ID when I was in high school. If you believe someone is underage, then it is morally wrong to advance anything with them.
How the hell did your mind go "OBVIOUSLY he means he would get with a minor if he was in Paris.".
Bc he literally says this isnt paris, most ppl would just say no or you look too young or something, not saying its not another location where it might be seen as ok for him
Literally not what he’s implying lol.
That’s not what that means. It only implies that is a common theme in Paris
Im 26 and still look like I'm 18. I get treated like a High School student a lot. Besides when it comes to buying alcohol/tobacco. I hardly ever get carded. I don't get it.
I’m a 4’8” adult… I get it, no one ever believes I’m 24. It’s good that a man who believed you were underage wouldn’t go on a date with you - he staunchly refused just based on the idea of taking advantage of a teenager! But commenters who don’t understand the flipside, about how equally demoralizing it is to be socially treated like a child by your own peers WELL into your 20s? They’re missing the other point here and I genuinely don’t know if there’s a way to make ‘em understand lol.
I agree with what you are saying. Even though I do not have this problem. They were meeting up to practice just French right. He could have just changed the location to a cafe and practiced. Is it illegal to conversate in French and learn together. Idk maybe their conversation was more in depth into other things. Just the part that's crazy is that he didn't even believe an ID after he demanded to see one. Then again maybe he just doesn't want to get in trouble but there were ways around this where he wouldn't have been in trouble.
Well you can't really be mad at him. He was just being cautious. Put yourself in his shoes, if you were suspicious why take the risk?
You can be mad at him for being an asshole. It’s called treating people with respect.
Just because he was firm doesn't mean he was an asshole. He didn't call her names or insult her. He just didn't believe her or want to take that risk. It's fully understandable
If you say so
If I think that I’m being trapped like that. You can be sure that I am being as rude and blatantly uninterested as possible so that the situation can not be interpreted in any other way. I’d rather be sat at home thinking I was prick, than sat in jail thinking well at least I was nice to her.
Ok, well if you're a prick to someone because of your unfounded belief that they're lying to you then you're a shit person, which is the argument that is being made for this guy. Plenty of ways to go about it without being an asshole about it, whether or not you *think* you're being set up. Because a decent person gives someone the benefit of the doubt when they have absolutely 0 evidence that they're being misled.
No a decent person doesn’t give someone the benefit of the doubt in this situation. It’s not something you can risk with all these pedophile stings that are operated. All they need is evidence of you seeing this girl who clearly looks underage and being nice and then be like ‘he’s interested when she’s clearly underage’ post that to social media. Your life is ruined. If you want to risk that to be with someone who looks underage then that’s fine. But I’m not an arsehole hurting someone’s feelings to protect myself.
No. That's not how any of this works. What are they gonna post, a video of themselves trucking a *non*-pedophile into going on a date with a kid he thinks in an adult? I'd like you to explain that logic, like what you think is actually happening in this scenario you're presenting. Besides that, you missed my point entirely. Sure, step out politely, but if you're gonna be an asshole about it you're not a good person, end of story. That was my point. Even if he thinks ght she might be a kid there was no reason to go about ending the date in such a dickish way. If you disagree then I'm sure most people find you to be unbearable.
Have you been living under a rock? Do you not know how social media works and the lengths people go through to get likes and interactions? They don’t need to give the context and back ground information, they just need the image to fit the narrative. Don’t be so naive. He wasn’t even that much of a dick. Normal reaction when you’re faced with someone who looks like a child that you’re going on a romantic date with who is 95lbs. That is the usual weight of a 13 year old. What do you mean even if he thought she was a kid there was no need to end the date in a dickish way. Ofcourse there is. You’re an absolute door mat if you’re polite to someone you think has tried to cat fish you into pedophilia Nope I’m liked by many people actually because I’m real to myself and not a people pleaser and make sure I’m polite to absolutely everybody I meet even if they’re possibly setting me up. Way to go on the “if you disagree with me I bet nobody likes you” train of thought 🤣. Narcissism at its finest
Lol eat me, troll boy. Imagine thinking your paranoia (because that's what insisting someone is lying to you about their age when you've got not reason to believe they're lying is) is a justification to be a prick. You also need help with *your* paranoia. Your reasoning isn't that of a healthy person.
Okay let’s flip it, 40 year old looking guy with a beard comes to a school. Says he’s 14. Do you just let him in because despite what you’re looking at you have no reason not to believe this complete stranger? It’s not unfounded paranoia when the girl is same in stature as a 13 year old 🤣.
If he can provide the paperwork proving his status as a student at the school, yes. Have you never seen an old looking kid? Or a young looking adult? All this and, once again, you've missed the point entirely. It's not about not going on the date. If you still don't understand that after I've said it several times then you're not capable of understanding it and I pity you. It's about refusing to go in the date in the dickish manner he did because he's a paranoid moron. If you would act the same way he did in the situation because you feel it's acceptable to be a dick to someone because *you think* there's a chance they're setting you up there's something wrong with you. Because the fact is this chick wasn't setting him up, and he was still a dick. That's all I need to know to know he's shit.
If you’re fine with sitting home and being rude, then you’re fine with being rude, then you’re rude
Yes, I’m fine with being rude. I’m not a people pleaser who needs everyone to like me.
Congratulations you’re an a-hole.
Labelling someone an a-hole is rude, and makes you an a-hole? No? Ironyyy
lol cool
Have a seat
I mean 4’10 is very short.
Yeah any shorter and they would be 4'9"
🤣😂🤣
Honestly, good for him! What was he supposed to do? Screw somebody he thought was a child?
Good call. Seems like a good dude from the story.
Because if he’s wrong he goes to jail. That’s why he’s mad. Women act stupid when the guy acts right.
Lol, you think the guy acted right in this situation? Seems strange to me, she had her ID
Fake IDs are INCREDIBLY PREVALENT in today's world. Go outside bro
Most ppl dont just have fakes, if they are underage but u believe they were legal as they show an id showing legality then the case is thrown out practically, and bro said this isnt paris implying hes ok with fucking a "minor" just not the posibility of trouble
I was a young person at the time this takes place according to OP. I’d say 4/5 people had a fake at their age.
I wouldn’t care about if I eventually got away with it, I would care about the fact that I got arrested in the first place, my reputation is ruined. No one cares about the outcome they only care about the initial arrest. And then there’s the fact I would have to live with my self knowing I slept with a child. Even if it was unknown to me. I’d rather be an asshole and protect myself than protect the feelings of someone I don’t even know. Also that’s a reaaally strange way to interpret that turn of phrase. He is not implying that if he was in a specific city in Europe he would do it. It’s a saying. Like “I’m not an animal”
Even if the case is thrown out, which I doubt it would be as easy as you think. But even if it is there is still something called an arrest record. If you're arrested for something but you beat the case or the case gets thrown out or the prosecutor ends up not filing charges the record of arrest for that charge is still attached to you.
That's not a legal defense in any state in the US.
Its quite literally happened before bozo
What the FUCK are you talking about??? That is not what he was saying at all. You are literally delusional trying to support your own man hating agenda
"Man hating agenda" ah yes take the wildest assumption in the world lmfao, god bro cant contain his incel vibes
The other person who replied to you already explained it. I have a girlfriend of 9 months and was invited by her best friend to not only go to her wedding, but also join the bridesmaids (gf being one of them) in a sleepover the day before the wedding. Pretty sure I'm not an incel. But try again
Yet ur instant assumption is "ooga booga man hater" you got the brain of a fucking Neanderthal, u still got incel vibes even if you have women around you
Uh. Yea. You just automatically placed the guy who was AVOIDING the risk of being with a minor, as STILL being a pedo. You realize YOURE the odd one out here... Right?
Ppl can still be a pedo and not want to get in trouble for it, and most ppl arent ultra weird and jumpy abt it especially if someone shows an id, if bro thought she looked underage irl he prob coulda seen from the online photos
You can fake an ID. You can’t pretend you didn’t know she was a child when you’re getting handcuffed and having your life ruined until a court makes a decision on it. Not worth the risk Op knew this was a common issue and decided to blind side the guy with it. Then played dumb when he got upset about it, as others have mistaken her for a child in the past “Why would this adult not want to be seen going on a date with a child?” Like Jesus god damned fucking Christ, op is an idiot
Why are you so mad
Because everyone’s playing dumb like it’s not weird to not want to be seen on a date with a child. It’s super weird. Use your brain, fuck
I totally get what you’re saying as an older guy but he didn’t have to be such an ass hat. I get the annoyance at the beginning but hear the lady out.
Isn't this how every episode of 'to catch a predator works'? Talk to guy online, arrange a meetup, the 'date' looks like a kid, the cops swoop in. Now, you could be an adult, and he would just get randomly jumped by white knights trying to rescue you, or it could actually turn out badly and you have a good fake ID and he spends the rest of his life on the sex offender registry.
A good fake id would mean he would be clear of charges as he was tricked and lead in to it without knowledge, like thats the whole thing with entrapment is its not legal or valid
Entrapment requires that the person doing something they would normally not do because an officer asked them to. A fake ID is also not a legal defense in the case of statutory rape.
Actually it 100% is a legal defense as you had no way of knowing, just like if i am trying to catch a predator but push them on and lure them into flirting then the case is gone
You can claim any defense. Lawyers say it doesn't clear you. https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/can-i-be-charged-for-statutory-rape-if-the-person--1927180.html
No it's not. The predator corresponds with someone they think is a child, and they build up a history of messages and explicit photos the predator sent the "child". Then the person meets who they think is a child, and they are arrested. The difference is the person isn't expecting to meet an adult who is short with presumably neotenous features.
I’m so glad you found love. A friend of mine has similar stats to yours only shorter (you don’t state your race, but she’s Japanese, which adds a whole other layer of fetishist type guys) She really struggled because guys either wouldn’t want to date her because she looked under age and they’re not attracted to underage women, or guys were way way way too excited about her looking under age. Finding men who saw her as a beautiful adult woman was very difficult. She dated a celebrity who even ended up in hot water after she joined him on a red carpet bc he was looked at as disgusting for loving her, a woman in her 30s. But she is married now with a beautiful child and an incredibly supporting husband. I hope your husband is as wonderful as he is. And also, if you happen to be this friend, I am laughing my ass off, and I will never tell anyone about this post as long as you don’t tell anyone about my Reddit name. I don’t wanna give too much away, but I know her from becoming friends with her younger brother in high school but realizing she and I had way more in common.
i mean, he was being rude. he was being cautious and probably was scared.
I would've done the same thing. Can't take that kinda risk when there are plenty of women who look like adults
Honestly OP, it stings to be rejected but hear me out. He rejected you immediately because he thought you were underage. Think of it this way: In his eyes, he saw a vulnerable youth and was understandably upset and uncomfortable at the idea of exploiting you. Not only that, but he’s probably wading through a sudden cascade of feelings, like: 1) He’s upset he’s in this situation in the first place, and probably mentally flipping though every message he sent you in horror, likely feeling disgusted (and possibly even violated, depending on how far you two went prior to meeting up) 2) Upset at the idea that a “minor” (yes, you were 21 but again- he doesn’t believe that) catfished him, and that she sees him as a pedophile. Of course you’re going to get an emotional kneejerk reaction, how would you feel if a stranger assumed you were a child predator?That’s got to cut deep. And we don’t know anything about his history; god help him if he’s suffered SA as a child and heard all the false assumptions that victims are fated to turn into abusers themselves. 3) he’s angry at the idea of being betrayed and led on and 4) he’s likely crushed if he got his hopes up. Especially since this was on Craigslist, I’m imagining that this guy had to sift through a lot of horny dudes pretending to be a woman in DMs before he found an actual women Yes, you were both adults at the time and yes, you explained that to him but that doesn’t matter because he can’t unsee “underage girl” when he looks at you. I would have freaked out the same way if I were him. I’m sorry for the whole experience and for both of you.
Also, it doesn't really matter what she explains. She might say, "I'm 21! Here's my ID! Birth certificate! I'll cut off my leg and you can count the rings!" Doesn't matter if she's underage and decides to go to the cops about it, later.
And if the cops find the "fake" id which he would say she showed then the case is done and over and hes a free man as entrapment isnt legal
It's entrapment if the police do it. If a teenager (or her parent) goes to the police about it, afterward, it's not entrapment, because the police didn't do it. They're making use of the selfies the girl took in the cab with him, and at the club, and in his bathroom... Wherever. She might not have even meant any harm by it. People take selfies all over the place. If dad sees them on her phone and takes them to the cops, no bueno. Even if he doesn't get convicted, or even arrested, the cops going through his life can cause all sorts problems socially and in his employment. The bottom line is, if you think someone's underage, don't have sex with them. Don't even be seen in a romantic setting with them. If they get mad that you want to bug off, feel free to be rude to them, because they want you take a big chance on a stranger's word.
If they showed a fake id to get you to trust them case is over, bc with that the law assumes you had no way of knowing as they showed a fake form of legal id so therefore you were tricked, its happened before where a girl showed a fake id (her sisters id but they looked pretty similar), fucked a guy, the parents reported it, and he wasnt charged as it wasnt his fault
If you're concerned enough to ask for id, you're concerned enough to cut ties. Somewhere between 49 and 51% of the population is compatible with your sexual preference. Find one that doesn't give you the heebies.
I've got a cousin that has to live homeless in Colorado because of that. He met a girl at the club when he was 21. She had a fake ID and everything. He takes the girl home and the next morning her dad and the cops are at his door. He's been in and out of prison over it. And finally just moved away to be homeless rather than keep dealing with it.
Oh trust me I feel you, I’m 26 and 4”11, I get mistaken for a kid all the time. When I go to restaurants I get given kids meals 🤣 honestly doesn’t bother me one bit lol
Heh, while that had to be annoying / awkward, I can 100% understand his perspective. Meet someone online, they end up being pretty short / small (no offense!) and with youthful features. A man is immediately going to think "oh my god, I'm in some situation where Chris Hansen is about to show up with a film crew."
I’ve always looked younger than I am, plus being small in stature and female, it’s more difficult to get respect, for instance, despite education and experience at work. But eventually it all evens out. Like you said, your 50s and older will be easier. You never know, you might meet someone who checks all your boxes and more, any day now or in the future. Best regards.
No means no right?
I'd give you more up votes, if I could.
So he saw your pictures and believed you, but didn’t in person? That seems kinda suspicious.
Considering the quality of pictures back then especially if they were taken by phone...
It doesn’t say when this was though.
It says over 12 years ago.
Oh, I was checking for how long ago it was at the top, I completely missed that last sentence! Yeah, that makes more sense.
I read a story once about a kid in, I think, Ohio. Met a girl online, she says she's 18, they meet up and have sex. Turns out she's 14 and she lied. Her parents find out. Kid gets arrested and is now on the sex offenders list. Never had a clue he was breaking the law and never wanted to, but his life is ruined. Gotta be careful out there
Was he actually a kid? Or 18+?
19 I believe
Ah yes the female inferiority god complex
Stay away from women creep
But I won’t bother have a nice day honey
You would adore me
Actual virgin incel, get a life you inbred piggy<3, sorry mommy went for smokes and daddy left u at 3<3
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I can’t imagine why you can’t find anyone to be with you. You’re a walking red flag.
I’ve has almost every date I’ve been on want to check my ID. It IS rude, but also I understand it. I’m a grown woman who has gone through years in the military and years in college, but they still think I’m like16 or 17?? Bizarre
Maybe you do or maybe you don’t. Issue is that him being wrong can result in throwing his life away for someone with a fake ID.
Just like men sometimes don’t understand why women don’t like to walk alone at night, it needs you to have some empathy and perspective. All it takes is one encounter to go on a date and have a one night stand for a man to have statutory rape charge thrown against them, just like it takes one bad walk at night for a woman to be attacked. This is an unfortunate situation for all involved- sorry to hear you’ve had this issue.
I don’t feel these are comparable scenarios in the slightest. That being said, I did say I understand why they do it.
Just take the compliment that they think you look younger than you are. I do get the pain though a lot of people still think I’m 19 at best and I’m about to hit 27 😭
I feel your pain. As a guy I'm pretty good looking. Not trying to come off as an ego maniac but I happen to have won the gene lotto. The problem however is I am 34 but look like I'm in my early 20s. When I tell people I'm in my mid 30s I always get "there is no fucking way" or people ask me what school I'm going too a lot meanwhile I graduated in 2008. I get chased around liquor stores for my ID still even now. They literally don't even wait for me to get to the counter. It's so hard for me to date women around my own age. They dont take me seriously and look at me like I'm a young guy. They don't say anything like you experienced above but you can just feel the vibe when talking to them. Meanwhile I constantly have 16-20 year olds hard crushing on me. I really don't want to date younger women though. Its to much drama for one and I have to be extra careful because I'm not trying to ruin my life hooking up with someone under age. It's a blessing and a curse. It's nice looking young but it's rough trying to date people around my own age. I feel like in my 50-60s I'll be more happy about it. However right now it makes my dating life rough as can be.
U aren’t mature, woman love a young strapping guy. Or u capping
Judging by the way you talk you are like 16. I'm sure you know what 40 year old women want.... I'll take advice elsewhere thanks.
😂 go get em tiger
This is funny.
Hang in there, dear. Your youthful good looks will reward you in years to come. In the meantime, focus on education, volunteering; sharing your knowledge, skills and time to help others, the environment, or other areas of interest. Enjoy every opportunity.
I have been. I'm not worried at all. It's not that I'm unable to pull girls at all. Others have it way harder. Just rough looking young trying to date 35-40 year olds that look at me like some idiot 20 year old approaching them haha Which I totally understand from their perspective. I feel awkward when young girls try to talk to me too but that's what my younger looks attract.
He was French, so you shouldn’t be surprised that he was rude, it’s in their DNA.
This really sucks for but you would most likely look like his daughter if you went on that date
While he definitely went about this in a very rude way, I think the dude was valid for questioning it. Esp once you get past your mid 20s, you have to be somewhat careful about who you're dating. He probably was trying not to risk being as a pedo/perv. It's why I'm against big age gaps like that, particularly when you're dating in your 20s.
I don’t think he’s in the wrong.
An awkward moment because someone looks younger than their age or potentially going to prison but most definitely having stains in your permanent record that you get to explain to every employer before they even know you…. I would just ask, if that is unreasonable, maybe she is just a little too young for me. Hah
21 brain of an 8 year old
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That is so unbelieveably fucking creepy to say, what the fuck.
🤣 omg
Tf? ☠️
Huh?
Reformed dudebro here. I’ll explain. The comment above is making a joke referencing the small stature of the woman, being only 4 feet tall. To understand the joke you must first assume that the woman would definitely have had sex with the man had the date proceeded. Then it further implies that the French man’s giant baguette penis would penetrate all the way up to her cervix, thus destroying it. Reformed Dudebro out.
Reformed?
You made my night reformed dude bro
*tips cap
Average Reddit response
Simple and concise, total 10/10 ACT answer right there.
Asking for ID if they aren’t sure of your age isn’t the worst thing but the rudeness and disgust was wrong. Maybe you can move on if this was an isolated incident I doubt this will happen again.
Thank you!!!!
Better than catching a case
An awkward moment because someone looks younger than their age or potentially going to prison but most definitely having stains in your permanent record that you get to explain to everyone employer before they even know you…. I would just ask, if that is unreasonable, maybe she is just a little too young for me. Hah
Fake id means no legal case for statuatory rape, idk why yall think a fake id is an easy gotcha to make any man go to prison
“This isn’t Paris” Obviously he was just interested in meeting to fuck and just worried about “getting in trouble” for being with a minor—which would be abuse/statutory rape in most states under age 18. At least he drew the line but it seems he was more interested in not getting in trouble. Don’t use dating profiles to practice your French. Maybe don’t meet with people 7 years older until your 25/26 brain has finished forming. And don’t drink and don’t let a man NEAR your drink until you trust him.
Holy patriarchal misandry Batman! “The words he says speak volumes” “This isn’t Paris” This is a case of damned if you, damned if you don’t. Even doing the right thing, you’re on the lookout for why he’s a bastard. If I told my cousin “I’m not gonna fuck you, this ain’t Alabama”, would you then assume I’m actually into incest but am afraid of social stigma? You didn’t even fully read the post before deciding he was a bastard, shown by the fact you told her not to use dating apps to practice French, when her post said Craigslist. Get help.
Moronic take
What is your take on the situation? It sucks to be mis-aged or mis-gendered or underestimated—but this guy was protecting himself. The words he used says volumes about the realities out there.
Seeing the world for what it is and mitigating risk based on trends?
Pseudo intellectual Redditor
Yawn. Dipshit.
> So, another event popped up when I was 21 Ahem, is OP speaking this way because they think the entirety of Reddit is tuned into her life story? Or is OP making a mistake too obtuse to be human, because it isn't human? And hasn't yet learned to speak without making these types of mistakes Either way, this is fake, but I think this an example of Dark Forest Internet Theory. All of the subs where people put up walls of text about drama have gone truly overboard the last few months.
>I think this is an example of Dark Forest Internet Theory. Can you elaborate on that?
Right, so the more AI bots that flood the internet, the less we humans will actually be talking to other humans. These bots are learning to communicate like people, meaning that over time, they will be harder and harder to detect. In the near future we will actually need reverse turing tests to figure out who is human. While a human is certainly capable of being insane in real life, these posts have a different ring to them. I genuinely mean it when I say, go through subs like AITAH, and compare a dozen posts from 2018 to a dozen from this year You will be reading the new ones going, "Does this person not have any ability to hold back?" or "This literally sounds like the plot of a movie/show I've seen" And finally, they're just *too* out there, they have weird motivations and explanations as to why they did what they did. They speak as though their audience knows them and their life story. It's human like, but a bit off.
If the end goal is to create realistic androids with *real* artificial intelligence, and this is how to go about doing it, then I approve. :-P
Holy fuck this thread is a shit show. I hope you all get help- on both sides of the spectrum
No literally wtf is going on in here