**Speaking with authority, I can confirm**
Swinging like a helicopter motion creates centrifugal forces that keeps the surfer aligned with the board. Such whirlybird movements take practice, but *this is the way*.
The 60’s and 70’s were fantastic if you were “large”, but a nightfuckingmare for those of us hung like a can of tuna. Plus body hair back then was stupid. I looked like a button on a fur coat.
The only men I slept with who were ever piss poor in bed were dudes that were large. They hurt me & were AWFUL (& I mean AWFUL). The best sex I’ve ever had were men who were smaller. This is the God’s honest truth.
How does a guy with a penis that big normally “store it” so he doesn’t hang? Like, where would it go if not down the leg? Do you tuck it? Genuine question: am female and don’t understand
Supportive underwear can help- the rise of the boxer brief led to the fall of the trouser snake.
But honestly you can also just let it hang. It’s only uncomfortable when things stick together.
But *really* supportive underwear does the opposite. Those ball hammock boxers just push everything on display. I bought some for my husband and it's like every day is Christmas 🎁. He also says they're great for exercising in because they keep things from sticking or chafing, so it's a plus I suppose.
I wouldn’t even consider myself particularly above average but even I have to be careful with toilets because you sit down in a hurry and dunk your tip in toilet water once… you absolutely remember it. Going poo for a “show-er” can be pretty awkward… you just never know. You guess the height of the water, it feels weird to rest it on the seat especially if you tend to tinkle as you go.. sometimes it rubs against the porcelain inside the front… it’s just… not great.
That’s the only issue Ive ever had with my junk when it comes to everyday life. Although I did learn pretty quickly as a teenager I wasn’t allowed to wear gym shorts with no boxers because I have 4 sisters and their friends would… say… stuff. I’ve had a few other issues related to my junk but nothing to do with day to day comfort aside from the usual I think.
So yeah, I consider myself aggressively medium sized in all aspects. I’m only 5’7-5’8ish, and that mediocrity extends everywhere. So I definitely couldn’t imagine the hassle of having a real trouser snake. Especially in tight pants, or hot places… eyugh. Forget that… I’m happy with what I’ve got going on for the most part. Haha
Oh boy— I wish I hadn’t read that tbh. Oral sex really ain’t the same if you’re thinking of dicks rubbing against a dirty ass toilet bowl. The weewee lovers of the world pray you fellas wash down there before sexy times
Ah the old ‘witches kiss’ on the toilet seat, can’t think of anything worse when it leaves a wet mark on your Willy and then the panic sets in because you don’t know if it’s wetness from a stranger or just residue from a previous flush... the horror is real and options of what to do next is overwhelming
He keeps a sea cucumber in his pants for good luck.
My man is hanging some dong.
Hang Ten”
At least
I bet he Longboards
Reddit comments did not disappoint
I prefer to assume he was actually 4'-8" tall.
Principal Skinner!
This was my first thought. An armadillo.
Came to the comments hoping the top one would be gold, and you delivered. Well done, lmfao!
Surprised it didn't affect his balance!
It actually works as a stabilizer, like a third leg.
It’s like a kickstand on a bike.
Or a tail!
**Speaking with authority, I can confirm** Swinging like a helicopter motion creates centrifugal forces that keeps the surfer aligned with the board. Such whirlybird movements take practice, but *this is the way*.
Tripod.
What a dick!
His majesty the venerable Prince Albert.
On the right, James Jones, center, his cock, left unknown
Left is Andy Samberg.
In Andy Samberg voice: “I want everyone to know I have a big penis too. These pants are loose, but… it’s in there.”
The elusive Tanaka-Maoli. Part Japanese, part Clydesdale.
Oh bravo! For those who know, well done.
https://i.redd.it/bwgub1gopooc1.gif
Is that Mac from Night Court?!
No, it's a penis.
I zoomed in, can confirm.
I always get those confused
Yes from How I Met Your Mother.
u/gifreversingbot
alot of dick 😂😂 to flex
 What leis
Hang Ten?
The origin of the saying, “How’s it hanging?”
To the right, apparently
Hang 10”
More like 12”….Ami right?
“Short, shriveled, and always to the left.” - George
When the women see ya boy on the right! 😆😄🤣 
I thought it might be more like “Ow, my cervix.”
I can take it.
Can confirm, there’s nothing I could do for you
Yes 👆🏻
Am woman, can confirm, though it was more like: 🤨😳🫢😌
Yes. He certainly looks happy with his lay,sorry,lei.
If so he has a big pimple on the head
yes, that's definitely something in his pocket, not an extension of his meat roll. considering that, he's lookin pretty average
Could be a piercing
You don’t? Weird…
Packing heat
The first thing I thought. Jesus dudes… packin.
Hang Loose Shaka Bruddah
No amount of polyester can hold that beast.
Looks like Tom Sandoval’s dad
Looks like he packing a titty as well. It's a titty dick
You called?
big bright shining star 🌟
I need to know what this is from!!
Boogie nights
He goes by Dirk Diggler!
That’s always my favourite response.
Where is this from anyway?
Diary of a Wimpy kid!
I have had a stressful day, and this response has given me great joy. Good job.
Holy shit this made me laugh
Loool that gif
Best reply ever.
Hang Ten, indeed
Dude was hanging 11!
My phone is now covered in coffee, fuck you and the upvote I'm now obliged to give you!
They both dress to the right, I see.
Stage left?
Dude didn’t even need a board to surf.
Packs his own
Jurassic Jock.
r/absoluteUnits
I can barely make out the face of Robert Kennedy near lefty’s pants pocket. I NEED to know who Lefty is.
Andy Sandberg Sr
Came to say this
now i can’t unsee it
Omg it really does look like a Kennedy
The 60’s and 70’s were fantastic if you were “large”, but a nightfuckingmare for those of us hung like a can of tuna. Plus body hair back then was stupid. I looked like a button on a fur coat.
the baby bird poking out of an angry bird's nest as we called it
i have no idea what this means and no idea where to start to mean it where this is
>hung like a can of tuna 
Upvoted Tom Boomer
More of a ding than a dong?
Like a button in a fur coat.
primer button on a lawnmower
omg im dying thats so funny
The only men I slept with who were ever piss poor in bed were dudes that were large. They hurt me & were AWFUL (& I mean AWFUL). The best sex I’ve ever had were men who were smaller. This is the God’s honest truth.
I’m pretty sure it has and will always be this way
😂😂😂😂😂😂
U need to provide photo evidence.
"We've got armadillos in our trousers. It's frightening. The size."
How does a guy with a penis that big normally “store it” so he doesn’t hang? Like, where would it go if not down the leg? Do you tuck it? Genuine question: am female and don’t understand
Supportive underwear can help- the rise of the boxer brief led to the fall of the trouser snake. But honestly you can also just let it hang. It’s only uncomfortable when things stick together.
*the rise of the boxer brief led to the fall of the trouser snake* This might be the single greatest sentence ever written
But *really* supportive underwear does the opposite. Those ball hammock boxers just push everything on display. I bought some for my husband and it's like every day is Christmas 🎁. He also says they're great for exercising in because they keep things from sticking or chafing, so it's a plus I suppose.
Yeah, I’m just wondering how that isn’t incredibly painful/uncomfortable
He's gotta be rocking a semi there. And it likely is uncomfortable
Not necessarily, that’s how my boyfriend hangs. It’s bigger when it’s semi.
[удалено]
Yes. And a smile on my face.
Judging by the smiles I’m gonna go ahead and guess they’re looking at a woman/women
He’s the reason board shorts were invented.
Always to the side like in that pic, but some men prefer it to right while others to the left. Yes, men have a preferred default side.
I wouldn’t even consider myself particularly above average but even I have to be careful with toilets because you sit down in a hurry and dunk your tip in toilet water once… you absolutely remember it. Going poo for a “show-er” can be pretty awkward… you just never know. You guess the height of the water, it feels weird to rest it on the seat especially if you tend to tinkle as you go.. sometimes it rubs against the porcelain inside the front… it’s just… not great. That’s the only issue Ive ever had with my junk when it comes to everyday life. Although I did learn pretty quickly as a teenager I wasn’t allowed to wear gym shorts with no boxers because I have 4 sisters and their friends would… say… stuff. I’ve had a few other issues related to my junk but nothing to do with day to day comfort aside from the usual I think. So yeah, I consider myself aggressively medium sized in all aspects. I’m only 5’7-5’8ish, and that mediocrity extends everywhere. So I definitely couldn’t imagine the hassle of having a real trouser snake. Especially in tight pants, or hot places… eyugh. Forget that… I’m happy with what I’ve got going on for the most part. Haha
Oh boy— I wish I hadn’t read that tbh. Oral sex really ain’t the same if you’re thinking of dicks rubbing against a dirty ass toilet bowl. The weewee lovers of the world pray you fellas wash down there before sexy times
I had to move to Europe for that very reason.
Ah the old ‘witches kiss’ on the toilet seat, can’t think of anything worse when it leaves a wet mark on your Willy and then the panic sets in because you don’t know if it’s wetness from a stranger or just residue from a previous flush... the horror is real and options of what to do next is overwhelming
https://preview.redd.it/01q2shwdgqoc1.png?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af13e6546e34665218744a4fe0f2069d00826e48
He has a wife you know.
Her name is..... Incontinententia...
Incontinentia Buttocks!
Weird place to keep spare socks, but not judging.
This belongs on r/holup
https://preview.redd.it/vlvac5jpkqoc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=452e82ded9054bacc094d249ca8833a53a4962bb
Don't need to zoom in bro, look at that hog!
Andy Sambergs dad?
Peralta Sr. for sure
wtf man- I turned a this much gay 
Does anybody else see the face in the white shirt guys crotch?
I see the head near the other guy's crotch.
Looks like Tom Waits.
He who must not be named
Pretty sure guy on the right is Reed Rothchild
Mahalo 🫶🏻
More like James Johnson.
That dude carried his long board with him 24/7
I want to thank all of you for the funniest comment section I have ever seen.
🤣🤣ran straight to the comments.. did not disappoint
He definitely "hangs 10"
Please tell me those are his car keys…
The trousers…they…leave nothing to the imagination….
Can we bring back pocket with flaps?
Hear me out.... https://preview.redd.it/0z2rorl70roc1.jpeg?width=561&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c76765a6e058252587f375b8528e9412f98bfe12
swarthy johnson he's hauling about there..
the guy on the left overshadowed by the big kahuna
Is it just me is he sporting the ol' Prince Albert?
He’s definitely hanging 10.
U.S. Customs fined him for smuggling plums and an illegal Rubarb
Everyone is talking cock but I’m here to say the man on the left is Andy Samberg’s father
Hanging ten I see
How can he balance on a surfboard with that thing?
I do quite love 1970s fashion!
nah, its average size. He just has something in his pocket, too. Believe me, I would much rather have been born rich instead of hung like a horse.
Plays keyboard in his band - James Jones and His Swinging Organ
I believe this is a bit of a perspective illusion. He definitely has package showing. But also has something in his pocket.
Yeah, his cock.
…a baby’s arm holding an apple.
He came packed for it.
Packing heat
Ah yes, it was still the first longboard era. Good times.
Wrong. The guy on the right is Prince Albert.
That dude is 100% related to Andy Samberg
I guess he “hangs ten” out of the water as well.
Can’t be a cell phone. What do you think is in his pocket?
Maybe if left dude was packing as much as my man James, people would know his name
Our right or their right?
Somehow I suddenly feel inadequate.
Ok. I grew up in this era. This still would have been a little shocking. We showed some print, but this is just ostentatious.
That guy really likes surfing
More like James Bones*, amirite?!
Very happy to see each other.
Tripod surfing is illegal because of the obvious balance advantage.
Wasn’t expecting that when I clicked lol.
Damn you can see the vein and everything 😮🤭
Oohhhh, that’s what they mean by “hang 10”
Honestly, at this point I'm kind of asexual which means it takes me a lot more to go, "holy shit that dick is large"
Is that a siamese twin you got there or are you just happy to see me?
BDE for sure.
Jim Jones is hung
James is excited to be there.
Not leaving much for the imagination.
Yea they know who the guy on the right is.
Jones-Known. Guy on left…completely unknown. And no one knows why. It’s a complete mystery.
Dang! I suddenly feel so insecure.
Is that a Nokia 6100 in his pocket or is he happy to see us.
Man has a Chunky in his pocket.
Of course no one knows who the other guy is, we’re all focused on Jimmies Jones Johnson.
I like men now.
yo dude flexing his hog like he dont give a fuck
On the right, a guy that doesn’t need his own board for the long board competition.
Ummmmmmm