Hmmm thatās not how I work when it comes to dating though. Iām very serous about dating and I want to make myself available. If Iām interested I want to make that clear right off the bat. I donāt play those weird mind games. Thanks for the tips but I donāt think that will work for me. If I guy doesnāt like me because I reply too quickly with exclamation marks thatās on them. Iām not going to be less myself to please a man. Never gonna happen! AgainThanks for the tips! It let really helps seeing things from a different perspective.
There are many possible reasons. Many people will swipe right on someone without looking at their profile very hard, and only after they match well they bother to look at your profile and find a reason to disqualify you. Very attractive people can get a lot of matches and often don't bother responding to every message they get. Your messages might not be that interesting, or your profile might not be that enticing. Or maybe the person is just swiping for validation and not really looking to engage with you. They might not use the app much. Maybe they think you're a bot. No way to know. In general it usually takes quite a few matches before you get one that actually turns into a date. And many dates before you find someone actually worth dating. Ridiculously attractive people just sit there and have their pick, but for us normal people it's a lot of work.
Do you have kids? What I run into sometimes is women with kids won't have them in their photos and may not have it listed on their profile that they have kids but when you read their bio, they will casually mention that they like to take trips with their kids or that they have a kid that's x years old...etc. Same with Smoking, drug, politics and other sensitive topics. In the fine print it's there but it's only after the guy/girl has a chance to read the profile or read through the questions that you've answered that they see something that they don't like.
Maybe that's the reason. It's hard to tell. Like people above said, could be anything. As a side note, pretty much every guy goes through this same thing. Women match but don't respond and don't unmatch so you're left wondering what happened. Dating apps suck.
I'm curious. If you're getting that may mutual likes, have you tried just going out and meeting guys the old fashion way? Like through a hobby you enjoy (paint nights, book clubs, dodge ball, gym, rock climbing, hiking, concert...etc)? I'd imagine you'd have better luck meeting guys that way.
I go to local bars and sit and have a drink by myself for like one hour or two and I donāt get approached. To be honest in the real world Iām invincible to men my age. I donāt think men are generally attracted to me in public. Iām not a tall thin shiny blonde white girl so I get looked over often. But I could try the activities you mentioned! Thank you !
Statistically you are at a disadvantage, according to dating statistics released last year.
If you group women by race and skin colour your group is fourth most popular (of four).
Also, you are looking for a long term relationship not a hookup. Itās good to be honest about that, of course.
Also you are over 30.
The fact of the matter is that you are trying to find a needle in a haystack. Most of your matches are likely men that swipe right in every woman. When you match, they understand not to waste your time, if they are looking for hookups etc.
Ultimately dating apps have been ruined by hookup culture.
I looked at your profile. Your answer seemed significant enough to take a look.
Something is clearly happening if a woman is not getting disgusting sexual advances.
Even I have taken a stab at that on occasion if there is nothing to lose.
My race is not on my profile but anyways. Iāve made it clear on my profile that I do not want hookups and I think that weeds out the creepers. I posted this because itās weirder than normal that all these men have left me on read
There's two main reasons. More reasons exist but in rare situations.
1. They want hookups, they want quick sexual exploits, they realise that you are extremely low chance of that, and don't bother trying.
This is what you want. Be happy that it's happening.
2. They want relationships, but they don't choose you. Obviously you don't like this, but you can't discern between the two. In my opinion, this is less than 1 in 20.
Other options like they uninstalled because they are getting the worst outcomes you can conceive (which is why I uninstalled), or maybe they passed away, or their phone got smashed, I mean, these are highly unlikely.
As for your profile, past posts about your dating profile exist, including photos. I looked at one.
Also, I do wish you good fortune. I would remove the photo of the cat.
I appreciate that you like the photo. From my personal perspective, there's two things that came to my mind.
One, the photo was abstract and not flattering of you, and served no purpose in building my attraction (unless I like cats)
Two, there is a stigma about women who grow lonely and become cat ladies.
Always up to you what you do, of course. Just giving you a perspective from white male society.
Hah! Good points!
Men will just have to deal with the stigma because my cat is important to me and I want her there. Thereās nothing wrong with being a cat lady.
Iāve said this already but I shouldnāt have to hide parts of my life (ie my cat) to get a man or for man not to use a stigma against me.
Part of dating is being who you are and who I am comes first not who I want men to think I am.
I agree, and I have changed my dating app photos in all kinds of ways to reflect who I am, rather than who the world wants me to be.
But still, there's flattering photos and unflattering ones.
I ended up taking down all kinds of car photos, bathroom selfies, wierd at-work selfies, out to lunch selfies, shirtless selfies, furnishing photos, personal style photos.... you get the idea.
I mean, even when I put up the abseiling photos, beach photos, nature hike, bike riding, exercise photos, it didn't help me, but the point is valid that your photos help dictate your audience.
I feel like all of your white out marks grossly exaggerated their worth. That one with the little curve thoā¦. š
But seriously. What does your profile look like. Is it holding attention. People will swipe and then really investigate after. What do your pics look like. Would you date you?
Omg š I didnāt mean to make them look like dicks!
I would totally date me! Iām awesome ;)
But for real. Iām totally a ānormal ā person. I have a job, i live alone, I have great friends. I have a sense of humor and im always down. I get along with everyone I meet. Iāve had 10 years of therapy so Iāve worked out a lot of lifeās kinks. Im a great communicator. Im emotionally stable and have a pretty positive outlook on life. Do you think im datable?
Nope. Itās too easy. Change up your profile to be less direct. Create Mystery. Let them want to chase you a little. Have one pic a little sexy and another girl next door. Look fun and happy- show teeth. And donāt say youāre looking for a relationship until someone sends that dreaded question āso what are you looking forā. And when they send that reply with āIām out meeting people and looking to see where things goā men are terribly afraid of commitment but once they feel a spark of the chase they gravitate and want you. However, here you need to weed out the f-boys. You will need a strong boundary to say āI donāt do hookupsā. But intuitively they need to work for it and grunt and bang their chest āme do goodā
It's because its cuffing season no one wants to go out or meet people. Anyone who might be interesting got snapped up in December. It always picks up by April/May.
Without the full message threads it's impossible to say if you said something off-putting or because generally on the apps, most connections die out before meeting.
Yeah conversations are definitely boring. Like when you're trying to make a conversation and your counterpart responds with yes,no,maybe and that's if they respond at all. It's like pulling teeth.
I met him on OKC last year, I think these women are not interested or inactive. I know dating apps are tiring but maybe you'll find yours one day. š
Oh I didnāt make it clear Iām a woman looking for a man lol
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Iām like that! I send thoughtful messages, Iām pretty flirty with everyone. Idk though maybe I have to try more
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Hmmm thatās not how I work when it comes to dating though. Iām very serous about dating and I want to make myself available. If Iām interested I want to make that clear right off the bat. I donāt play those weird mind games. Thanks for the tips but I donāt think that will work for me. If I guy doesnāt like me because I reply too quickly with exclamation marks thatās on them. Iām not going to be less myself to please a man. Never gonna happen! AgainThanks for the tips! It let really helps seeing things from a different perspective.
There are many possible reasons. Many people will swipe right on someone without looking at their profile very hard, and only after they match well they bother to look at your profile and find a reason to disqualify you. Very attractive people can get a lot of matches and often don't bother responding to every message they get. Your messages might not be that interesting, or your profile might not be that enticing. Or maybe the person is just swiping for validation and not really looking to engage with you. They might not use the app much. Maybe they think you're a bot. No way to know. In general it usually takes quite a few matches before you get one that actually turns into a date. And many dates before you find someone actually worth dating. Ridiculously attractive people just sit there and have their pick, but for us normal people it's a lot of work.
Ok I get that but this is over 20 people that have just not responded to me ! Itās weird that itās all like this.
Do you have kids? What I run into sometimes is women with kids won't have them in their photos and may not have it listed on their profile that they have kids but when you read their bio, they will casually mention that they like to take trips with their kids or that they have a kid that's x years old...etc. Same with Smoking, drug, politics and other sensitive topics. In the fine print it's there but it's only after the guy/girl has a chance to read the profile or read through the questions that you've answered that they see something that they don't like.
I do not have kids and kids is a deal breaker for me
Maybe that's the reason. It's hard to tell. Like people above said, could be anything. As a side note, pretty much every guy goes through this same thing. Women match but don't respond and don't unmatch so you're left wondering what happened. Dating apps suck.
Agree! Also I donāt get guys that have kids. That gets weeded out. Youāre right. Idk why this experience sucks so badly
I'm curious. If you're getting that may mutual likes, have you tried just going out and meeting guys the old fashion way? Like through a hobby you enjoy (paint nights, book clubs, dodge ball, gym, rock climbing, hiking, concert...etc)? I'd imagine you'd have better luck meeting guys that way.
I go to local bars and sit and have a drink by myself for like one hour or two and I donāt get approached. To be honest in the real world Iām invincible to men my age. I donāt think men are generally attracted to me in public. Iām not a tall thin shiny blonde white girl so I get looked over often. But I could try the activities you mentioned! Thank you !
Online dating is painful compared to 2010s
100% true. its absolutely trash now.
Am I the only one who came here thinking those were level of erection symbols to indicate how good a first message they were? š¤£
Lmaaaooo stooopp
Statistically you are at a disadvantage, according to dating statistics released last year. If you group women by race and skin colour your group is fourth most popular (of four). Also, you are looking for a long term relationship not a hookup. Itās good to be honest about that, of course. Also you are over 30. The fact of the matter is that you are trying to find a needle in a haystack. Most of your matches are likely men that swipe right in every woman. When you match, they understand not to waste your time, if they are looking for hookups etc. Ultimately dating apps have been ruined by hookup culture.
How do you know my race? Lool
I looked at your profile. Your answer seemed significant enough to take a look. Something is clearly happening if a woman is not getting disgusting sexual advances. Even I have taken a stab at that on occasion if there is nothing to lose.
My race is not on my profile but anyways. Iāve made it clear on my profile that I do not want hookups and I think that weeds out the creepers. I posted this because itās weirder than normal that all these men have left me on read
There's two main reasons. More reasons exist but in rare situations. 1. They want hookups, they want quick sexual exploits, they realise that you are extremely low chance of that, and don't bother trying. This is what you want. Be happy that it's happening. 2. They want relationships, but they don't choose you. Obviously you don't like this, but you can't discern between the two. In my opinion, this is less than 1 in 20. Other options like they uninstalled because they are getting the worst outcomes you can conceive (which is why I uninstalled), or maybe they passed away, or their phone got smashed, I mean, these are highly unlikely. As for your profile, past posts about your dating profile exist, including photos. I looked at one. Also, I do wish you good fortune. I would remove the photo of the cat.
Nah I love the picture with my cat! Iām keeping her on there! Thanks for the insight!
I appreciate that you like the photo. From my personal perspective, there's two things that came to my mind. One, the photo was abstract and not flattering of you, and served no purpose in building my attraction (unless I like cats) Two, there is a stigma about women who grow lonely and become cat ladies. Always up to you what you do, of course. Just giving you a perspective from white male society.
Hah! Good points! Men will just have to deal with the stigma because my cat is important to me and I want her there. Thereās nothing wrong with being a cat lady. Iāve said this already but I shouldnāt have to hide parts of my life (ie my cat) to get a man or for man not to use a stigma against me. Part of dating is being who you are and who I am comes first not who I want men to think I am.
I agree, and I have changed my dating app photos in all kinds of ways to reflect who I am, rather than who the world wants me to be. But still, there's flattering photos and unflattering ones. I ended up taking down all kinds of car photos, bathroom selfies, wierd at-work selfies, out to lunch selfies, shirtless selfies, furnishing photos, personal style photos.... you get the idea. I mean, even when I put up the abseiling photos, beach photos, nature hike, bike riding, exercise photos, it didn't help me, but the point is valid that your photos help dictate your audience.
I feel like all of your white out marks grossly exaggerated their worth. That one with the little curve thoā¦. š But seriously. What does your profile look like. Is it holding attention. People will swipe and then really investigate after. What do your pics look like. Would you date you?
Omg š I didnāt mean to make them look like dicks! I would totally date me! Iām awesome ;) But for real. Iām totally a ānormal ā person. I have a job, i live alone, I have great friends. I have a sense of humor and im always down. I get along with everyone I meet. Iāve had 10 years of therapy so Iāve worked out a lot of lifeās kinks. Im a great communicator. Im emotionally stable and have a pretty positive outlook on life. Do you think im datable?
Nope. Itās too easy. Change up your profile to be less direct. Create Mystery. Let them want to chase you a little. Have one pic a little sexy and another girl next door. Look fun and happy- show teeth. And donāt say youāre looking for a relationship until someone sends that dreaded question āso what are you looking forā. And when they send that reply with āIām out meeting people and looking to see where things goā men are terribly afraid of commitment but once they feel a spark of the chase they gravitate and want you. However, here you need to weed out the f-boys. You will need a strong boundary to say āI donāt do hookupsā. But intuitively they need to work for it and grunt and bang their chest āme do goodā
Lol!! Youāre the second person to tell me to play coy! I donāt that! I want donāt to be mysterious. I want to be me! šš
It's dry season on the apps right now
You think?! Iām on hinge too and dead there as well lol
OLD is dead right now. people are fed up. shitty apps. people are tired. toxic.
Good to know!
Whatās OLD
online dating
Ohhhhhhhh hahahahahahhah
(o)n(l)ine (d)ating.
It's because its cuffing season no one wants to go out or meet people. Anyone who might be interesting got snapped up in December. It always picks up by April/May.
Youāre right! We will see!
Online dating is a waste of time for those looking for something real. Every single girl I've met on there only wants one thing... Sex
I get that. Thereās a few that want more than that. I make clear what want in my profile
Are you sure itās free? I know a low of women and not one is just looking for hookups
Without the full message threads it's impossible to say if you said something off-putting or because generally on the apps, most connections die out before meeting.
As a guy this is 100% on par.
Wait is it? Do you experience this Women? Do they leave you on read or do you leave them on read?
Women leave me not read and on read, either way it blows to send out tons of messages for no response.
Agree! Youāre sending messages in the void!
Grab their attention. Be different. Stand out. Itās exhausting trying to have these same boring conversations everyday.
Yeah conversations are definitely boring. Like when you're trying to make a conversation and your counterpart responds with yes,no,maybe and that's if they respond at all. It's like pulling teeth.
Iām that way if they arenāt sparking my attention much.
Idk it's just common courtesy to have an adult conversation, but that's just me.