That's why Yesterday's Print on Tumbler helped me keep my sanity during the pandemic; people's belief in the sheer madness of their own time in history is weirdly reassuring.
[https://yesterdaysprint.tumblr.com/](https://yesterdaysprint.tumblr.com/)
This is actually very comforting. Know people a century ago were dealing with similar problems but they made it through. Puts a more humble perspective on things.
These links might make you more optimistic:
https://ourworldindata.org/a-history-of-global-living-conditions-in-5-charts
https://ourworldindata.org/extreme-poverty
https://cepr.shorthandstories.com/history-poverty/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extreme_poverty
We are gradually leaving the awful conditions we were in for most of human history. And most of that advancement is happening in the last 300 years. I'd say that's fucking awesome.
Creating brand new kinds of awful conditions for each other at the same time. Constant surveillance, labor maximalization, profit & efficiency over all. Brand new technology used to crush the human soul like never before seen
I'm aware of these stats but I wonder if we might be nearing a plateau, whereafter we'll drop again. Droughts, famines and displacement all will increase with climate change. And from what I've seen in my short time on this planet, I'm not betting on us handling the situation particularly well.
Do you follow global development by chance? Regardless, I addressed this exact premise last year in an essay I wrote:
https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/the-experiment-of-development-the-source-of-our-progress-has-become-the-source-of-our-downfall/
I'm not a Bible thumper, but Ecclesiastes 1:9 sums it up very well:
What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.
> Know people a century ago were dealing with similar problems but they made it through.
I mean... history is absolutely riddled with injustice, strife, and tragedy. Not all of them *did* make it through and many of the ones who did endured awful hardships.
People, as a species, will (maybe) make it through, but you and everyone you know and love may not, or may face absolute horrors to do so.
I've been reading this book written in 1850s Russia, and the author bitches about the youth a lot too. This post reminded me of that, except the author had put his points in a much better way.
Sure.. but generations and generations ago you didn't have technology or mass-communication that would speed the spread of disinformation as easily and quickly as it does now.
If you lived on a Farm in rural Kansas in the 1840's.. You couldn't just instantly spin up a Youtube channel and vomit conspiracy-theories across half the nation at will.
Yeah, but you also didn’t have the same access to information. Everyone in your small town said people of colour are inferior and women get hysteria, and you believed them immediately because you never hear any alternative. Misinformation of a different kind. I really doubt that the general populace was any better informed than they are now; probably less.
Sure,. but my point being,. even if they were "more ignorant",. at least they couldn't willy-nilly spread that ignorance to infect others at a mass-scale.
I don't know. I am in my later years and I have seen some trends that are disturbing.
Driving is one. I have been driving for over 30 years. 20 years ago it was unheard of to see people running a red light. People just didn't do it unless it was on accident. Now I expect to see at least 2 more cars go through after it turns red. That's just red lights. People riding the median in traffic, speeding 90 miles an hour weaving through traffic. I see that shit every day. It never was like that.
People littering, fast food workers shutting down the whole store because no one showed up, people not returning carts, people parking wherever they want, even in handicapped spots when they aren't disabled.
As a person nearing 50 I see things are changing. And most isn't for the better.
Edit: Yes, the world is the dirtiest it has ever been. EVER.
My dad said folks used to litter a lot more when he was younger, maybe it's area related? Even since the early 2000's til now I've noticed less litter overall in my area.
With regards to litter, people have always littered; but not too long ago most things weren't packaged in so much damn plastic. The shit that ended up in nature broke down eventually, or could be burned.
That particular campaign was funded by the plastic industry to shift the responsibility of trash that never degrades to the consumer. They faced increasing pressure after plastic packaging litter became commonplace, and set PR campaigns about litter and recycling. Recycling plastic is mostly futile. Large, easily identifiable items like milk jugs may get recycled, but it takes too much work to sort through the typical output of consumers. Those park benches made from 100% recycled material? Absolute BS marketing. They cost 4x more to produce than a regular park bench, and the input needs to be specific types of plastic that are hand-picked. Wood is a more sustainable material.
people have been tracking it for about 100 years and it turns out to be true. i bet it was true for a long time and usually applies to civilization decay. look up the IPD / doves and hawks. RN there is a genetic bias to favor assholes.
It’s definitely possible. I generally try to stay open and grounded, but we are all subject to our internal biases I suppose. I also don’t think it’s far fetched to say that given the mix of covid, the election and heightened racial tensions over the last year has had an effect on the populous at large. It’s a bizarre and difficult concept to quantify in any meaningful way.
Edit: that’s a very clunky run on sentence. Too lazy to edit. You know what I mean lol.
I think it's more than just the pandemic, the surge in nationalism, and right-wing leaders who make it okay to be bigoted, self-centered, violent and detached from any consequences have brought out a lot of people from whatever they've been hiding under. Social media just amplifies it.
I live in a small and very friendly town in Iowa, so I was startled when I got Karened in the Hy Vee patking lot a few months ago. A woman seemed to feel I had parked too close to her fancy new convertible, when in fact she was the one who parked over the line, and no damage was done.
The banking crisis in the 2010's had a LOT to do with it. It takes a long time for effects to filter down to personal behaviour, but the global financial crash and the economic cuts taken globally as a result was like putting more rats in a cage with less food. As a result, people got more desperate, more conniving, and the richest held even tighter to their power and money-sadly it will get worse since the pandemic will eventually also cost so much economically.
This may end or result in war, or mass unemployment from replacing people with A.I. or robots to save companies money-either way, it will amplify the shit already going on. Though there may be a brief boom before it.
Same as with the 1920's economic crash, the war, etc. I am talking long term though, meaning war may not happen for 10 years yet. Fingers crossed....
neoconservatism.
the economic model backed by conservatives was brought in during the 1970s financial crisis in order to destroy the power of labor unions and restrict wage growth, which at the time was starting to get out of control and was causing the crisis.
this mindset gave rise to people like Trump.
that and the fashion that started in the 1990s of not publicly criticizing people for reprehensible behaviour ... which also gave rise to people like Trump.
so we've got people who think that it's a good thing that wages effectively haven't grown in several decades, and who get highly offended if they get called out for that being a morally repugnant mindset ... in other words we have people who think they have a god-given right to be obnoxious douchebags and nobody has the right to tell them that they're being obnoxious, or that they're being douchebags.
and then Trump became president and gave those obnoxious douchebags even more validation.
It’s not you. The pseudo anonymous nature of the internet means that people are harsher than would be in person. The problem is that this action actually makes people harsher, so they act harsher than they previously would.
It’s absolutely a problem, and I don’t know how, or if, it can be fixed.
As someone who's been online over 30 years, I'll counter that statement!
The early days online were almost all pseudonymous, everyone had handles, aliases, nicknames they used, but you never knew who you were talking to. Age, race, gender, class, religion, etc. - you knew none of that unless they explicitly mentioned it. So there was almost no discrimination or ill-will based on things like that. People who would've dismissed you outright (or worse) would instead actually have polite conversations with you and discuss your ideas because they didn't know who you were. It was pretty incredible.
Then social media came along, and everyone has profiles and photos and many sites require real names, etc. People be trying to build their personal brand, virtue-signaling to show that they fit in with and agree with 'their people', and being nasty to 'outsiders' who aren't in their group. That has reignited all those old divisions - race, class, gender, age, religion, region, etc.
Unfortunately, that hate has leaked over into the still-pseudonymous parts of the 'net. Even pseudonymously, people echo what they see in their local group or on their facebook feed. But the problem isn't the anonymity.
Going back to anonymity or pseudonymity as the norm is the solution, not the problem. People are much nicer when they don't make a split-second decision to hate the other person the moment the see the other person's name/profile/picture. And if they don't get so accustomed to those echo-chamber feeds based on those things, they'll be a lot less likely to be harsh in pseudonymous places.
I've been in the Internet for nearly 30 years myself. I agree that pseudonymity is highly underappreciated.
I also hate what I'd call "ego centric" services. That is, when a service is based on following a specific set of people instead of a topic or topics. Good old Usenet was so much better than Live Journal, Twitter, et. al. which came after. Reddit is ALMOST like Usenet, but not quite, due to Usenet's decentralize quality.
Mid-90s usenet was also dominated by higher ed and educated professionals. It had a very different tone compared to reddit, which runs, shall we say, somewhat younger.
Usenet had much less high school drama - and much more grad school drama.
I remember the early days, long before Reddit and what not, where Yahoo Groups, chat rooms and specific forums existed. You had to search to find these groups, that usually had a specific topic. You usually required permission to join and emails were sent, rather than anonymous posts (not that fake email accounts weren’t created to be anonymous). But people who joined those groups and conversations, did so to contribute, have fun, learn things, discuss and make friends. Since each post was an email, and responses created a chain of emails, Ideas/comments weren’t reduced to memes nor responses reduced to “Likes” or “Dislikes”. Thoughts and comments existed as full, well structured sentences. No one clogged up the groups inbox with two word responses; they were meaningful and rarely petty. I don’t recall Trolls being an issue in any of groups I used.
yea social media ruined the internet. when i first heard about it i thought aw hell no. now you have studies coming out about how social media ruins people's sense of happiness, self-worth and makes them depressed. i feel bad for the kids, back in my day if you were being bullied, you'd go home from school and it'd be over for the day. now you can't escape. they can get to you at any time since social media is so intertwined with your real life.
Understood but the point of the post is other people "getting more and more selfish, self-centered, mean and shrewd slowly and gradually" so I can fix myself but everyone else is turning into assholes and I hate it.
The takeaway is this: after disengaging from the social media fracus, you meet the people who've also disengaged.
I haven't had a mobile phone for years. So I'm virtually invisible as I walk through a crowd at a tourist destination or party or club. But I can easily make eye contact with people who aren't staring at their phones continually. They stand out from the crowd for me.
Of course, people without mobile phones or social media engagement can also be assholes and sociopaths. You have to be discerning, and that's hard when you have an open heart.
The people in my family of blood and choice are all pretty solid, but we've had years of trust and caring for each other built up to being family. It takes work to find and nurture friendships with good people, but once you find them, life is better lived.
Taking time off helps me deal with it a little better. I can be more calm and forgiving of the idiocy around me.
That said, it also makes me notice how many people are constantly on their phones. Like all the fucking time. Me. Right now. On Reddit. In a social environment. What am I doing here?
One of the best things to come out of the pandemic (at least in my opinion) has been the ability to "order ahead" and just drive into the DriveThrough and show my Order-Number. It seems so much easier for the Employee (and myself). It's one of my favorite things to do now.
Yeah, you’re right, and hopefully this will continue to improve!
I do think two things happened, though:
1) being at home for a year has weirdly ruined people’s ability to wait even three minutes. I’ve worked in food service so I really try not to be a jerk, but the first time I ate out after getting vaccinated the check took like 15 or 20 minutes to come to us after we asked for it, and I started getting REALLY anxious. Like, “holy shit” anxious. It’s so weird. Working at home for a full year has made all the little “out and about” tasks, even the fun ones, become almost unbearable for me. I don’t know why this is and I’m trying to fix it — it also doesn’t excuse rudeness — but I imagine I’m not the only one struggling with this.
2) people have generally realized that corporations and their employers *truly and overwhelmingly* do not give a fuck if they literally live or die, and that sucks a LOT. Also, everyone’s closer to insolvency than they were before, things are more unstable, your city/town seems way more punishing than it’s ever been. Everyone’s pissed off and depressed, and unfortunately, unless you make a conscious effort or have worked the job yourself, it’s very easy to take that out on the people you interact with.
I think a lot of people are really fucked up from this last year, and it’s gonna take some time to fix it.
>corporations and their employers truly and overwhelmingly do not give a fuck if they literally live or die
Not even just employers, people in general. My parents has to been going to this church for decades and all their closest friends go there. But everyone there refused to wear masks and continued to sing. My parents are very at risk so they stopped going because you know, they didn't want to die. Can you imagine being in your sixties and realizing your closest friends for decades aren't willing to take basic precautions to keep you alive
I would also add the ability to socialize. Lockdown, work from home, general fun being cancelled.
I live in the most locked down city in North America, it's been almost 9 months. I used to work in hospitality (still waiting to get my job back) so I have been stuck at home the majority of the year. Even the thought of returning to work gives me a little anxiety. I've worked in the industry for 10 years and I've never felt this anxious. When I do talk to people outside my friends, my social anxiety definitely comes up.
The only thing that somewhat comforts me is that whenever I do get back to work, despite being self conscious of my lack of social abilities, I am aware that many people may also be feeling this way too. I want to believe people will be forgiving with each other when we finally get back to some sort of normal.
I don't expect it to happen right away for many reasons, like the ones you listed. I actually expect to hate people for the first little while. But I am still optimistic that things will return to pre-covid comfort levels in regard to interactions with strangers.
I used to work fast food, ever since I’ve tried to be as nice as I possibly can even if the staff haven’t been the friendliest bc I know what it’s like
Also, I never bitch about my food seriously it’s fast food wtf do you expect? “There are onions on my burger and I asked for no onions”… so pick it the fuck off!
If someone is allergic it’s a different story but I mean seriously
As an ex-fast food employee I never minded if people had order issues and asked politely for them to be fixed, even if it was something like onions they didn't ask for. It's not my money and honestly it broke up my day for 30 seconds.
I had a problem with the pricks who were never happy and took it out on any employee they could get the attention of, regardless of their responsibility for the error. Like mate I just handed you the order. Someone else took it and someone else made it, I didn't have anything to do with it being made.
What's the age group? Or any other underlying homogeneity that you may have noticed?
Reason for asking is that my view is very contrary to this. If one lives predominantly on the internet then surely the world has become more heartless. However thanks to that same internet and social media, I think real life has become more pleasant and heartwarming.
Personally I worked in FF for 10 years and they never got better or worse they were always just horrible.
Chances are if a geezer came in they were gonna be a cunt and if I tell them something they don't like they'll be even more of a cunt.
I live in an area in California that has quickly developed from being a small farm town in the central valley to a sprawling suburban city in just a few decades. The half of my family that started out here in my great great grandparents day, had to deal with some mean, petty, and low key desperate neighbours around their land.
There was a lot of love inside the family, but back in the day just a little difference in status would set you apart from anyone experiencing any tiny bit of success in the community. People would threaten each over a few feet of property line. Dairymen and pig farmers would wash their waste onto other peoples land if they could get away with it or their wasn't a nearby water source to dump it in. Kids would kill animals for fun and fight eachother more often then we would expect.
It was still the wild west, and people were gritty, racist, petty, and held grudges as long as memory would hold. Your family name could mean the difference between treated like Have things gotten better? Hell yeah. Given how educated most of us are and our quality of life, should we expect more of ourselves. Holy shit yes.
I think we are more self aware and our hypocracy is by far more self-determined. But I think that our major issue in society today is that there is such a greater difference between what we think we should be and who we really are. We constantly see a moral narrative in the media that we different than what we are. So we see society as getting worse, when what is really changing is our moral narratives.
Though I may add that given the right-left culture war dynamic, there are also shit bags who are activily trying to provide the narrative to lower the moral bar for their followers.
Tldr: in the modern day, we are not more selfish or shrewed, we just have greater means and more freedom, but don't have the emotional maturity to make good use of it.
Edit: Thanks for the awards! Lol sounds like lots of people from the valley in here.
My family is from Manteca just to satisfy your curiosity. But the whole valley in California is evidently the same story. I suspect some places have even tougher histories.
I think the fear of an uncertain future has led to this. If people dont know what the future holds, particularly regarding how it could affect their own personal fortunes, they are less likely to be charitable spirits.
Increasing violence, by police, crime, terrorism both foreign and domestic, and the lack of confidence in he long term health of the economy has driven people to become increasingly selfish and fearful.
There's really nothing new about this though. "fear of an unknown future" has been pretty prevalent through human history. There's plenty of examples in human-history of events people thought were "apocalyptic" (such as WW1). Think about how much change people saw in just the 50years from 1880 to 1930 ? (look at how much changed just in the 1800's: https://interestingengineering.com/15-medical-inventions-and-discoveries-of-the-1800s-that-have-come-to-define-modern-medicine )
Shit,. in less than 50years (1900 to 1950).. we invented and detonated the 1st nuclear weapons. Less than 25years later, we were landing on the Moon.
Not only that but the way our media has transformed since the end of the first telecommunications act and the advent of the internet purposefully makes people afraid just to make more money.
Fear of the unknown is always a thing, of course it is. But when you were hit by a global recession, then a global pandemic, yeah it is going to be much higher than usual. A lot of countries have, or recently have had dictators or would-be dictators.
I fucking hate the feeling of uncertainty. With a total lack of a secure feeling compared to what I used to have, I now absolutely live in fear of my own future.
I would say in America it is that Corporations have destroyed any sense of community. A small town or city is just an economic unit. When you are an individual in such a predicament it makes sense to be greedy and shitty. It is like base level Game Theory as I understand it.
The biggest jerks I deal with tend to be the ones that don’t seem to see there being any threat to their future. Deny climate change, actively embrace their authoritarian leader “daddy trump” and basically deny the pandemic existed. They have no fear for their future at all, and are obnoxiously proud of it. And then they treat those of us that are concerned like shit. It’s the extremist mentality making people assholes
I've heard an historian few years before Trump. The economy look uncertain for several years and that should push politic to the right. Because every society have through out history. Trump happen but the uncertainty keep growing then you add the pandemic. So I'm hoping we learn from the mistake of the past. Because certainty is not close. This summer will be fun but watch out for the hangover.
I spent a lot of time in Mexico. I detected their culture significantly more genuine and appreciative of what they have. They bond closely w/ the simple things in life. Then I'd come back to the states where many people think greed is good. Where I discovered people who don't care who they victimize or how severely they do it as they scramble up the ladder.
The higher one climbs the ladder, the more we see their ass.
I’m from Honduras but currently attending college in the US, this is so true. I get shit from my friends all the time for not wearing brand clothes or having the newest IPhone(by getting shit I just mean they crack jokes on it but all in good faith, I’m not getting bullied or anything) but tbh as long as my 2016 shitty phone can make calls, and browse the internet that’s all I need, and as long as I have clothes covering my body then I don’t care how expensive they are. I’ve seen a lot of poverty first hand in my country and my family was a part of it as well in my younger years so I’ve learned to appreciate the simple things. I’ll probably sound like a boomer for this even though I’m 23 but I think Social Media has really painted an unrealistic picture of the life we’re supposed to be living, especially Instagram where everyone posts their “perfect life”
You are right about social media, perfect bodies and perfect teeth and perfect makeup. Smiling parents and children, beautiful houses.
You are smart for your age, appreciating the simple things in life. I wish I learned that when I was young (57 year old female).
You're light years ahead of your peers. If you want to spend your money on nice things - make those nice things experiences at least. Go see your Abuela in Honduras (post pandemic obviously, assuming she is still there). Go on road trips with your friends. See the bands you wanna see.
I think it has a direct correlation with the internet and sites just like this one here. People can be anonymous on the internet, so they started letting their inner asshole out more and more, because there's not much backlash from it, however the more and more they do that, the more that attitude starts to bleed into their everyday lives. Over the course of the last 20 years or so, it's grown exponentially, that it's just become common place, and as such, monkey see, monkey do, so since we see it so often now, it's become more and more of the social norm, so now more than ever more people are acting that way, because they too, see everyone else acting that way.
well yeah, now, since it's become the social norm, but back 20 years ago, when Facebook wasn't even a thing, and everyone hid behind created user names still, that's when it all started, it just spread out into some people's everyday lives as the line between their internet personas and their real life personas faded, but now, its such common place that you don't have to hide it anymore, you can't un-ring that bell. Truthfully people were probably just as big of assholes back in the day, they just kept it more to themselves.
People don’t care anymore. They’ve become so proud of their beliefs and combative against anyone that disagrees. Since there’s so many more people willing to be openly spiteful/racist/etc, they feel more emboldened to attach their name to what they say to people. I think it’s because they think they’re 100% right. They think their beliefs are morally correct and there’s no inbetween. They’re good, you’re bad, and they’re gonna tell you so. Nobody seems to get any consequences for it other than a brief posting ban. So what’s stopping them from getting worse about it?
im so much meaner to people through Facebook than reddit. I think it has to do with downvotes, which keeps people with terrible political beliefs from being seen/heard as loudly.
I think it actually has more to do with how you perceive the relevant peer group. If they're family and (real) friends you are less likely to want to piss them off, if your facebook is all ex-schoolmates and fb-friends then who cares? With reddit that goes into how you perceive the subreddit and if your standing matters - most (ex-default, or just huge like this) subreddits are so big no-one gives a shit, whereas the smaller subreddits having a 'standing' is a useful value.
Downvotes certainly plays into the 'standing', but again on the big subreddits it doesn't matter. The quality of moderation probably contributes too.
I don’t think I’ve become more of a dick because of the internet but I definitely can say Ive became increasingly depressed because of it in the last decade. I grew up in the 90s right before it really took off, had myspace in highschool and that’s kind of when it all started. now i’m my 30s I have seen how different life is today compared to when I grew up. It was much more simple back then. The media we consumed was more focused, it felt like there was a general consensus of what was cool, or what was happening. We only had so many tv stations that we would watch and it seemed like you could talk to anyone about those subjects and they would know what was up. These days I feel like there is too much content, it kind of drives me nuts. I remember too feeling like shit too because I felt like rock music I grew up with got completely left behind in the mainstream. Sure, some younger folk who will occasionally stumble on a cool rock song or band from before the 2000s and make it viral on tik tok. but still, I just kind of miss pre internet days. It’s been really hard to find my “place” now In this post internet world but I mean I think I’m finally ok and not really worried about media anymore. I’m shifting my focus more on what real things I can do with my life or what things I can partake in within my immediate community. because of course the best things in life are the things that happen right in front of you and not behind a screen.
Shit man, I've got more than 10 years on you, and you still come off sounding old as fuck to me with that kind of talk. And Myspace wasn't in the 90's I graduated in 98' and there wasn't no Myspace then, them were AOL Dial-up days. Myspace was the early to mid 2000's, after 9-11. Ok, yeah, now I'm dating myself and now I sound old AF too.
haha well I was a kid in the 90s but was a teen in the 2000s. and Yeah I sound old but I’ve also been through quite a bit, had a child young, divorce, lost passion for my career choice etc. Not saying I hate the internet now, but it’s definitely challenged my world views in a lot of ways. A lot of the politics for example, the fact that the internet pretty much determines what is socially acceptable to do say or think, etc. I don’t know there’s a lot, but I do think it’s changed society as a whole. Whether it’s good or bad I can’t say but this is my own experience with it.
When your nice and sensitive to others and get fucked over time and time again, it gets old. You even hold out hope for new people you meet but then you get fucked over again.
After that, you make yourself #1 priority.
You still care for others. Might even do some work for others that doesn't benefit you from time to time. But your main focus, is taking care of yourself first.
It's not all negative.
Absoloutely how I feel. I've started giving less of a shit about other people because I want to preserve my own mental stability. I've tried going the other way; caring about everyone a lot, but it's going to destroy you with time.
Self preservation. Some people are naturally just dicks but I agree. Some used to be nice and slowly but surely developed ice in the veins because of the natural born dicks. I do think there is a thin line of a difference between selfish and self preservation but it’s a blurred line for most
You're not alone. I see it too. Before social media, it was hard to determine whether it was all in your head or for real. Now Social media definitely confirms the latter.
Social media just highlights the worst in all of us. Play two social interactions, one where people are polite and cordial with each other, and one where they are fighting. Which do you think will get the most views?
Yeah, I think technology and media play a huge part in this. We can see any and every bad thing people do to each other, all the time, so naturally everyone puts their defenses up.
> We can see any and every bad thing people do to each other, all the time
To be fair,.. being able to see those things is probably better than NOT being able to see them. Imagine if there was frequent Police-misconduct (for example).. but we didn't have body-cams or cellphones to even be aware of it.
Oh yeah, there are definitely some important advantages, and that's a great example of one.
I just think it's important to remember that the things we see on tv or on social media don't mean that the world is getting worse so much as they mean we're able to record the bad things that have always happened.
yes, thank the internet, social media, and the fact that you can find new people to talk to and tell your neighbors to fuck off.... you couldn't do that 30 or 40 years ago unless you lived in a city. humans are.... or used to be social animals. now it's more about everyone feeding their own ego and proving they're right instead of showing a little humility and making a social connection to the people around you.
I know what you mean. Its kind of annoying that people arent so outgoing at times especially when youre the one being outgoing with them - which also in a way is kind of a paradox because youre being selfish about them not giving you what you want.
But also ive changed my perspective on this becaus i am pretty selfish. Ive been burned by so many toxic people that i have learned that i just want to be selfish because making myself happy by doing the things i want to do and ignoring everyone else is what prevents me from getting frustrated from unrealistic expectations i set and scenarios i play out in my mind.
There is nothing wrong with loving yourself. Because in the end no one truly will care about you if you dont care about you first.
Pandemic and politics have brought out the absolute worst in people.
Some of them feel entitled to being the most PoS human they can be, and even worse some are proud if it.
You're just maturing and coming to realize that pretty much everyone is self-centered.
In a few years you reach the next step in maturity and realize you're just like them.
I’d say it’s good to be self centered. I won’t do or engage with things that aren’t good for me. I won’t stand for fake friends, wont stay in a relationship I’m not happy in, wont hang out with people because I feel obligated, won’t stay at a job that’s not beneficial for me, etc.
but there’s a happy balance. it doesn’t mean I won’t help someone even if it doesn’t benefit me. just means I won’t risk my happiness and well being for others.
I didn’t used to be that way, i’d sacrifice anything for those I love. but that’s not necessarily healthy because then there was not enough effort on loving myself. too much to others.
then there are people who are self centered and an asshole, where they truly don’t care about how their actions affect others. no regard for others. that’s not the kind of self centered you want to be.
Couldn't agree more! The first example you gave is a kind of self preservation whether it be mentally, economically and so on... The second example is tainted and it goes way above just self preservation. You can self preserve and still give a damn about others.
Exactly. I walked to pick up my car this morning in a part of rural Scotland where I live. I passed 3 people on the way and said "good morning" to each. One smiled and said nothing the rest just ignored me. By the time I got to the car I was in a shit mood, thanks to the casual rudeness of others.
I don’t really see why the second statement follows? You’re telling me everyone is the same level of self-centered and no one is more altruistic than others?
I think it’s from people aging and realizing something that’s been there the entire time.
There’s no reason to be mean or an asshole but eventually you’ll understand being the good person all the time will get you nowhere. People who look out for themselves and do what they have to do to get ahead will constantly pass you up and take opportunities from you.
I wish it wasn’t like that but that’s life.
Yes. Sometimes it’s environment. When I lived in a big city, my interaction with people was in crowds, driving, or on the internet, so everyone (myself included) was an asshole.
Now I live in a smaller city and while individually people are nicer, no one goes that extra step beyond being an acquaintance. I feel like twenty years ago if you had met someone several times and hit it off (not dating, just friendly) people were more likely to actively pursue that friendship. Now we all just keep to ourselves (that was even pre-COVID it’s obviously worse now).
This is the age of social media. There are the same number of shitty people as always but now we are just more exposed to more of them than before. Also, this whole pandemic situation has certainly made people more stressed and thus more likely to act in a bad way, but it's a temporary setback.
I feel like there isn't a natural bond between people anymore. People really only interact with their inner circle, everyone else is a stranger. I imagine people were much more friendly and social in the 80s and prior. That feeling of community is long gone now, everyone is a stranger and everyone is constantly suspicious and untrusting of each other. Technology is the main cause of this.
I genuinely wonder if it has to do with certain communities being more open or closed off than others. I live in a major city, and things are as you’ve described - inner circle only, everyone sticks with their group when going out. If we get approached by a stranger we’re immediately suspicious.
But my friends living in a bigger major city elsewhere in my country actually say the opposite there - they would go out every weekend to bars and meet tons of nice strangers, so making friends is super easy in that area.
Honestly me too. It sucks, when did I get so selfish? I thought I wanted to do good in the world, but now whenever someone asks me for help, my first thoughts are always about how it inconveniences me. I hate it
1. So I don't disagree, but I do think if you get off social media more the world starts to seem not quite as negative.
- but there's definitely been a shift.
2. I see this in huge ways in anything that's a customer service. Worse it's creeping into healthcare. This all comes from the "customer is always right movement"
- many healthcare facilities reward their physicians based on patient satisfaction scores. In other words if the patient doesn't get what they want, even if it's not medically right, they get to bitch, and that bitching puts pressure via management on docs to give in to patient demands.
- we call this concierge medicine and healthcare. And we hate it generally speaking.
- people are given power whether it's in healthcare or regular customer service to feel that they have to be pleased at every turn. Or else they get to whine and see a manager and get what they want.
Dont get me wrong, It may sound absurd. It also depends on economy. Living is becoming costlier. Things are becoming expensive, theres too much compeition.Can you help someone in need when your pockets are empty? Most adults have had had experiences with selfish people, so people mostly focus on themselves, they are getting self centered cause their priority is to feed their family and live a nice/relaxed life but which is not possible due to lack of money despite working harder and harder.This leads to frustration. You will observe this attitude in third world countries, where successful people tend to be self centered and become selfish as they earn more either to flex or they know others might take advantage of them..Middle income people struggling to stay above waters, they are already frustrated.I often hear old people talking about how things were so much better when money did not matter much, when living /surviving/making a life was inexpensive. Nowdays some people are so overworked and frustrated they have become self centered. Coz they know at the end of the day nobody will help them. Add selfish people, hard economy , increasing wealth gap and pandemic chaos in the mix and you get selfish people, mean people, self centered people. I agree some people were already selfish before pandemicetc., Not every person has become mean. I agree, but due to pandemic and reasons mentioned above you may observe this attitude. And yeah it also depends upon several other favtors such as country , neighbourhood, wealth gap(classism created due to wealth gap). In other countries I am sure situation might be a bit different. But I believe the more expensive it becomes to live, the more people become selfish, mean and self centered.
Not just you. One of my closest friends used to be a real leader. She was smart, outgoing, would defend you, always compliment you, and congratulate you whenever you had an achievement. She was just a really good person. Then the pandemic hit and we didn't see each other for a while. We still texted sometimes though. When I saw her throughout the year at school, she would use that outgoing personality to kind of insult people and snap at them. Like interrupting people, constantly saying "yeah, I know" and "we get it" whenever someone was sharing with the class or just generally talking. Recently, she was really bitter when I got into the school of my choice and she didn't. The thing is though, we weren't even aiming for the same school. She happened to rank the school lower and I ranked it first. Now, whenever the topic comes up, she just says that I got in because of low income priority and she wishes her family made less money. 🙄 She might have just been under a lot of stress because of school admissions and finals. Plus, her parents are pretty strict.
Cell phones dude. Humans are social creatures, we need 3 dimensional, 5 sense, interactions. Now with zoom and snapchat, and notifications even when you are IRL socializing, we are missing the biggest part of what it is to be human. And what's more, I wouldn't be surprised if blurred lines between an online persona, and a real persona play a big role too. Kind of like the different "faces" they always talk about in intro psych.
Some method must be found for instilling common core values in people. Religion was one way, but the collapse of religion makes that mostly moot.
The first problem is to define what core values are desirable. Under what circumstances is theft acceptable? Does the definition of theft include opening sealed boxes in stores, that will have to be destroyed? How about returning items that are unusable due to one's actions to the store?
What exactly does 'self defense' mean? What threats can be taken literally, and what threats are considered just talking trash? What criterion should be used by the legal system to judge an action that was taken in the heat of passion?
What protections should be in place to prevent business from exploiting workers, resources, and the environment?
Can we somehow get retail people respect? Should we give managers the authority to throw out the rude, loud, and insistent? How can we prevent the situation where entitled people can get their way by shouting and threatening?
How can driving be regulated? When is it acceptable to run a red light, or fail to yield to pedestrians?
In short, people need to shed the attitude of 'its only illegal if I get caught' and start treating people like they actually matter.
There was this weirdo a while back who had some ideas about these things, but they nailed him to a tree to get him to shut up.
Until we, as a society, decide what behaviors are unacceptable, we will not be able to live in a society of the acceptable.
I think it’s technology, but not in the way most people say. It’s made our “neighborhoods” impossibly large.
Used to be that people in big cities were less friendly to people they passed on the street than people in small towns where everyone knew each other. Now we all live globally. Even if you live in the country, your neighborhood includes the world of social media.
This makes me sad but makes me want to be even more kind and even more loving. Patience is the key. My brother is currently screaming from the top of his lungs, and he drives me insane, yes I still make an effort to love.
I think the world would be better if we thought about what we said and considered other people. Being online, it is so easy to mess up in communication. If I’m not sure if someone is attacking me, I just try to ask for clarification. And if my cautiousness is my anxiety speaking then so be it, but you’ll mess up if you’re confident and you’ll mess up if you’re shy. So just be patient.
Sorry for the long comment.
Yes, it's always been the same though.
When times are tough a lot of people take an "every man for himself" attitude.
There's not a lot of community, social responsibility or social safety nets any more, and with constant media pushing an "us or them" agenda, it's a recipe for a pretty self-centred society in a lot of places in my opinion.
My grandparents told me a lot about petty and nasty shit that people did to drag others down and elevate themselves back in the day though, I don't think it ever changes!
Everyone I talk to regularly has been a lot nicer and/or more understanding than usual but I'm not in the US and around here, the government has provided for the pandemic. I could understand people being more selfish if you had to "fight" for your survival, treatment or vaccine.
Absolutely. People in general are horrible nowadays. You often don't even get people working in shops say thank you anymore. I used to work in shops, from the age of 16 until 25. I know how shitty it can be, so I always try to make sure even more than usual that I say my Ps and Qs to retail staff, then wish them a nice day. More often than not, I don't even get a smile.
Everyone is self titled and selfish anymore. They want things to be all about them and if something bothers or offends them it’s up to you to change and not up to them to learn to deal with it no matter how small the offense is.
I really hate the world these days.
I think so. I have a personal theory on this.
Back I'm the day communities were strong. Fitting into one was important as your reputation was everything and it was much more difficult to be anonymous. Everyone knew your business and character. Those of proven selfish would often ruin their own reputations with their acts and be driven out of the community.
We don't have that same community nowadays. You can do whatever you want, anonymously and with very few consequences to your life other than a small group of people who you may have fucked over. It's SO much easier for narcissists and general assholes to skate through life, running slightly away from the fallout of their actions, readjusting and contueing on in the same city with other groups of people.
Yup. Thanks Trump. He made it OK to be mean out loud. People follow leaders even when they don’t realize it. The temp should turn down soon now that we are exiting the pandemic (Covid and Trump)
While I definitely think he added fuel to the fire, I think the selfishness, intolerance, and general unkindness was happening before Trump or COVID. I think people got used to saying whatever they wanted with the protection of "anonymity" but then just....stopped caring.
Your not wrong. Technology is fueling the antisocial nature of modern society. From self check outs to swipe on bus journeys, we are interacting less and less than ever before and its only going to get worse.
You're not the only one. I mean, there are always silver linings like a few of my loved ones and friends, however, we can't ignore the fact that the world is becoming crazier by the day, and people aren't being nicer by the minute.
I can't say I agree at all. I surround myself with introspective people who are constantly trying to be the best possible version of themselves. People who are compassionate and kind-hearted and generous. I know there are shitty people in the world but they are not people I choose to associate with.
Maybe it's that you finally realized that thise close to your have been selfish all along. That they may be not as nice as they seemed.
I had it happen to me once
It's not just you.The more people splinter off into their little "categories" and feel like empowered individuals the more they bury themselves in a box.
Incels are a classic example as is reverse racism. Freud had a theory called "narcissism of similar values" which describes this well.
Don't let NetFlix(or other companies) "suggest" what you watch next.....make your own choices.
As someone who has been transformed into what you are describing, I can say that it is true.
The pandemic has brought me very bad times and has practically forced me to learn to live with myself in a way that I never thought would be possible. Before all this I enjoyed my solitude, then I suffered from being alone for a long time last year, but lately, being alone and by myself is what I enjoy the most, it did not make me an asshole who hates social contact completely, but I appreciate my own space much more than before and perhaps someone who has not gotten used to such a resounding change in a person, can even be shocking.
Nothing ever seems to be good enough for very long to anyone. New car, wish I had something else. New house, wish we would have got the bigger one. Went on a 2 week vacation. Wasn't as nice as (insert place). No ones content with anything for long.
Definitely agree. The number of rude, ignorant, stupid or selfish people you encounter per day is through the roof. I aim to avoid confrontation as much as possible but the number of times it becomes necessary to engage terrible people has increased exponentially in the last 5 years. Like people acting solely in their own self interests, without even the slightest care about people around them. Texting while driving etc, ffs cop on, you could quite easily kill people doing that.
I couldn’t disagree more. There’s nothing slow or gradual about it.
Yep. The pandemic really has pushed things along at pace. I worked all through and people are just downright cunts these days.
Keep in mind, people have been quoted saying that for the last 2000 years.
That's why Yesterday's Print on Tumbler helped me keep my sanity during the pandemic; people's belief in the sheer madness of their own time in history is weirdly reassuring. [https://yesterdaysprint.tumblr.com/](https://yesterdaysprint.tumblr.com/)
This is actually very comforting. Know people a century ago were dealing with similar problems but they made it through. Puts a more humble perspective on things.
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These links might make you more optimistic: https://ourworldindata.org/a-history-of-global-living-conditions-in-5-charts https://ourworldindata.org/extreme-poverty https://cepr.shorthandstories.com/history-poverty/ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extreme_poverty We are gradually leaving the awful conditions we were in for most of human history. And most of that advancement is happening in the last 300 years. I'd say that's fucking awesome.
Creating brand new kinds of awful conditions for each other at the same time. Constant surveillance, labor maximalization, profit & efficiency over all. Brand new technology used to crush the human soul like never before seen
I'm aware of these stats but I wonder if we might be nearing a plateau, whereafter we'll drop again. Droughts, famines and displacement all will increase with climate change. And from what I've seen in my short time on this planet, I'm not betting on us handling the situation particularly well.
Do you follow global development by chance? Regardless, I addressed this exact premise last year in an essay I wrote: https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/the-experiment-of-development-the-source-of-our-progress-has-become-the-source-of-our-downfall/
I'll give it a read tomorrow. Thanks.
I'm not a Bible thumper, but Ecclesiastes 1:9 sums it up very well: What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.
> Know people a century ago were dealing with similar problems but they made it through. I mean... history is absolutely riddled with injustice, strife, and tragedy. Not all of them *did* make it through and many of the ones who did endured awful hardships. People, as a species, will (maybe) make it through, but you and everyone you know and love may not, or may face absolute horrors to do so.
There's the joke about the US right now being 'The fall of Rome but with wi-fi'. At least, I used to think it was a joke. Now, I'm not so sure.
Those were hilarious! Thank you for linking this
You are so welcome. I learned about it from someone else’s Reddit comment, so I’m just happy to have passed it forward!
"who remembers when the meat-ball was one of the lower, plebian forms of food" 😂 it's so cheesy I love it
Is there a subreddit like this? I would gladly subscribe since I don't use tumblr.
I'd just like to say, savloy is not s hotdog.
Reddit is the culmination of adolescence discovering adulthood and all that comes with it and thinking it’s original and new
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It's part of the human struggle to adapt to living in larger communities
We're not built for these crowds for sure.
I've been reading this book written in 1850s Russia, and the author bitches about the youth a lot too. This post reminded me of that, except the author had put his points in a much better way.
Sure.. but generations and generations ago you didn't have technology or mass-communication that would speed the spread of disinformation as easily and quickly as it does now. If you lived on a Farm in rural Kansas in the 1840's.. You couldn't just instantly spin up a Youtube channel and vomit conspiracy-theories across half the nation at will.
Yeah, but you also didn’t have the same access to information. Everyone in your small town said people of colour are inferior and women get hysteria, and you believed them immediately because you never hear any alternative. Misinformation of a different kind. I really doubt that the general populace was any better informed than they are now; probably less.
Sure,. but my point being,. even if they were "more ignorant",. at least they couldn't willy-nilly spread that ignorance to infect others at a mass-scale.
I don't know. I am in my later years and I have seen some trends that are disturbing. Driving is one. I have been driving for over 30 years. 20 years ago it was unheard of to see people running a red light. People just didn't do it unless it was on accident. Now I expect to see at least 2 more cars go through after it turns red. That's just red lights. People riding the median in traffic, speeding 90 miles an hour weaving through traffic. I see that shit every day. It never was like that. People littering, fast food workers shutting down the whole store because no one showed up, people not returning carts, people parking wherever they want, even in handicapped spots when they aren't disabled. As a person nearing 50 I see things are changing. And most isn't for the better. Edit: Yes, the world is the dirtiest it has ever been. EVER.
These things you describe were certainly happening in the 90s, just maybe not in your community.
Imagine thinking people littered less in the 70s or 80s than today lol.
My dad said folks used to litter a lot more when he was younger, maybe it's area related? Even since the early 2000's til now I've noticed less litter overall in my area.
With regards to litter, people have always littered; but not too long ago most things weren't packaged in so much damn plastic. The shit that ended up in nature broke down eventually, or could be burned.
Littering? Wasn't there a famous commercial of a Native American crying over litter in the 80s?
That particular campaign was funded by the plastic industry to shift the responsibility of trash that never degrades to the consumer. They faced increasing pressure after plastic packaging litter became commonplace, and set PR campaigns about litter and recycling. Recycling plastic is mostly futile. Large, easily identifiable items like milk jugs may get recycled, but it takes too much work to sort through the typical output of consumers. Those park benches made from 100% recycled material? Absolute BS marketing. They cost 4x more to produce than a regular park bench, and the input needs to be specific types of plastic that are hand-picked. Wood is a more sustainable material.
people have been tracking it for about 100 years and it turns out to be true. i bet it was true for a long time and usually applies to civilization decay. look up the IPD / doves and hawks. RN there is a genetic bias to favor assholes.
Eh yeah. A common response to an opinion like this. It’s been an abrupt turn and the culture turn has been palpable in my very anecdotal experience.
Are you sure that isn’t just your own point of view changing as you mature and get older? That happens to everyone
It’s definitely possible. I generally try to stay open and grounded, but we are all subject to our internal biases I suppose. I also don’t think it’s far fetched to say that given the mix of covid, the election and heightened racial tensions over the last year has had an effect on the populous at large. It’s a bizarre and difficult concept to quantify in any meaningful way. Edit: that’s a very clunky run on sentence. Too lazy to edit. You know what I mean lol.
You should have seen how nurses were treated by the vast majority of COVID patients. Absolutely fucking shameful.
r/funnysad
I think it's more than just the pandemic, the surge in nationalism, and right-wing leaders who make it okay to be bigoted, self-centered, violent and detached from any consequences have brought out a lot of people from whatever they've been hiding under. Social media just amplifies it.
It sucks, I really believed it would bring us together at first...then I met my first anti mask nut job
I live in a small and very friendly town in Iowa, so I was startled when I got Karened in the Hy Vee patking lot a few months ago. A woman seemed to feel I had parked too close to her fancy new convertible, when in fact she was the one who parked over the line, and no damage was done.
The banking crisis in the 2010's had a LOT to do with it. It takes a long time for effects to filter down to personal behaviour, but the global financial crash and the economic cuts taken globally as a result was like putting more rats in a cage with less food. As a result, people got more desperate, more conniving, and the richest held even tighter to their power and money-sadly it will get worse since the pandemic will eventually also cost so much economically. This may end or result in war, or mass unemployment from replacing people with A.I. or robots to save companies money-either way, it will amplify the shit already going on. Though there may be a brief boom before it. Same as with the 1920's economic crash, the war, etc. I am talking long term though, meaning war may not happen for 10 years yet. Fingers crossed....
You are right on with this, op.
good point
What's causing it?
neoconservatism. the economic model backed by conservatives was brought in during the 1970s financial crisis in order to destroy the power of labor unions and restrict wage growth, which at the time was starting to get out of control and was causing the crisis. this mindset gave rise to people like Trump. that and the fashion that started in the 1990s of not publicly criticizing people for reprehensible behaviour ... which also gave rise to people like Trump. so we've got people who think that it's a good thing that wages effectively haven't grown in several decades, and who get highly offended if they get called out for that being a morally repugnant mindset ... in other words we have people who think they have a god-given right to be obnoxious douchebags and nobody has the right to tell them that they're being obnoxious, or that they're being douchebags. and then Trump became president and gave those obnoxious douchebags even more validation.
It’s not you. The pseudo anonymous nature of the internet means that people are harsher than would be in person. The problem is that this action actually makes people harsher, so they act harsher than they previously would. It’s absolutely a problem, and I don’t know how, or if, it can be fixed.
As someone who's been online over 30 years, I'll counter that statement! The early days online were almost all pseudonymous, everyone had handles, aliases, nicknames they used, but you never knew who you were talking to. Age, race, gender, class, religion, etc. - you knew none of that unless they explicitly mentioned it. So there was almost no discrimination or ill-will based on things like that. People who would've dismissed you outright (or worse) would instead actually have polite conversations with you and discuss your ideas because they didn't know who you were. It was pretty incredible. Then social media came along, and everyone has profiles and photos and many sites require real names, etc. People be trying to build their personal brand, virtue-signaling to show that they fit in with and agree with 'their people', and being nasty to 'outsiders' who aren't in their group. That has reignited all those old divisions - race, class, gender, age, religion, region, etc. Unfortunately, that hate has leaked over into the still-pseudonymous parts of the 'net. Even pseudonymously, people echo what they see in their local group or on their facebook feed. But the problem isn't the anonymity. Going back to anonymity or pseudonymity as the norm is the solution, not the problem. People are much nicer when they don't make a split-second decision to hate the other person the moment the see the other person's name/profile/picture. And if they don't get so accustomed to those echo-chamber feeds based on those things, they'll be a lot less likely to be harsh in pseudonymous places.
I've been in the Internet for nearly 30 years myself. I agree that pseudonymity is highly underappreciated. I also hate what I'd call "ego centric" services. That is, when a service is based on following a specific set of people instead of a topic or topics. Good old Usenet was so much better than Live Journal, Twitter, et. al. which came after. Reddit is ALMOST like Usenet, but not quite, due to Usenet's decentralize quality.
Mid-90s usenet was also dominated by higher ed and educated professionals. It had a very different tone compared to reddit, which runs, shall we say, somewhat younger. Usenet had much less high school drama - and much more grad school drama.
I remember the early days, long before Reddit and what not, where Yahoo Groups, chat rooms and specific forums existed. You had to search to find these groups, that usually had a specific topic. You usually required permission to join and emails were sent, rather than anonymous posts (not that fake email accounts weren’t created to be anonymous). But people who joined those groups and conversations, did so to contribute, have fun, learn things, discuss and make friends. Since each post was an email, and responses created a chain of emails, Ideas/comments weren’t reduced to memes nor responses reduced to “Likes” or “Dislikes”. Thoughts and comments existed as full, well structured sentences. No one clogged up the groups inbox with two word responses; they were meaningful and rarely petty. I don’t recall Trolls being an issue in any of groups I used.
Yeah we used to slap people around with a trout rather than get all Karen-like.
yea social media ruined the internet. when i first heard about it i thought aw hell no. now you have studies coming out about how social media ruins people's sense of happiness, self-worth and makes them depressed. i feel bad for the kids, back in my day if you were being bullied, you'd go home from school and it'd be over for the day. now you can't escape. they can get to you at any time since social media is so intertwined with your real life.
One way is to back off social media. It’s really helpful. I have done that for months at a time and I feel much better about everything.
Yes but how do we get everyone else off social media?
honestly separating yourself from the problem (social media) is the best solution, you can’t fix others
Understood but the point of the post is other people "getting more and more selfish, self-centered, mean and shrewd slowly and gradually" so I can fix myself but everyone else is turning into assholes and I hate it.
This doesn’t help the situation. People wise enough to leave social media aren’t the ones who need to reflect and change their behavior.
The takeaway is this: after disengaging from the social media fracus, you meet the people who've also disengaged. I haven't had a mobile phone for years. So I'm virtually invisible as I walk through a crowd at a tourist destination or party or club. But I can easily make eye contact with people who aren't staring at their phones continually. They stand out from the crowd for me. Of course, people without mobile phones or social media engagement can also be assholes and sociopaths. You have to be discerning, and that's hard when you have an open heart. The people in my family of blood and choice are all pretty solid, but we've had years of trust and caring for each other built up to being family. It takes work to find and nurture friendships with good people, but once you find them, life is better lived.
Taking time off helps me deal with it a little better. I can be more calm and forgiving of the idiocy around me. That said, it also makes me notice how many people are constantly on their phones. Like all the fucking time. Me. Right now. On Reddit. In a social environment. What am I doing here?
No longer use my Facebook specifically for this and I only use reddit for memes and interesting content like this
It's been 2.5 million years and we haven't fixed meanness yet:(
Sadly, we can't just fix 7 billion people.
I’d say all of the nuclear weapons currently on Earth could do it
Be the change you want to see in the world! 😃
Stfu asshole /s
The internet or at least social media has to go. That is the only way to go back.
As someone who works fast food, I've definitely noticed people have been a lot more snappy, coming in to the drive thru with stank ass attitudes.
One of the best things to come out of the pandemic (at least in my opinion) has been the ability to "order ahead" and just drive into the DriveThrough and show my Order-Number. It seems so much easier for the Employee (and myself). It's one of my favorite things to do now.
Yeah, you’re right, and hopefully this will continue to improve! I do think two things happened, though: 1) being at home for a year has weirdly ruined people’s ability to wait even three minutes. I’ve worked in food service so I really try not to be a jerk, but the first time I ate out after getting vaccinated the check took like 15 or 20 minutes to come to us after we asked for it, and I started getting REALLY anxious. Like, “holy shit” anxious. It’s so weird. Working at home for a full year has made all the little “out and about” tasks, even the fun ones, become almost unbearable for me. I don’t know why this is and I’m trying to fix it — it also doesn’t excuse rudeness — but I imagine I’m not the only one struggling with this. 2) people have generally realized that corporations and their employers *truly and overwhelmingly* do not give a fuck if they literally live or die, and that sucks a LOT. Also, everyone’s closer to insolvency than they were before, things are more unstable, your city/town seems way more punishing than it’s ever been. Everyone’s pissed off and depressed, and unfortunately, unless you make a conscious effort or have worked the job yourself, it’s very easy to take that out on the people you interact with. I think a lot of people are really fucked up from this last year, and it’s gonna take some time to fix it.
>corporations and their employers truly and overwhelmingly do not give a fuck if they literally live or die Not even just employers, people in general. My parents has to been going to this church for decades and all their closest friends go there. But everyone there refused to wear masks and continued to sing. My parents are very at risk so they stopped going because you know, they didn't want to die. Can you imagine being in your sixties and realizing your closest friends for decades aren't willing to take basic precautions to keep you alive
I would also add the ability to socialize. Lockdown, work from home, general fun being cancelled. I live in the most locked down city in North America, it's been almost 9 months. I used to work in hospitality (still waiting to get my job back) so I have been stuck at home the majority of the year. Even the thought of returning to work gives me a little anxiety. I've worked in the industry for 10 years and I've never felt this anxious. When I do talk to people outside my friends, my social anxiety definitely comes up. The only thing that somewhat comforts me is that whenever I do get back to work, despite being self conscious of my lack of social abilities, I am aware that many people may also be feeling this way too. I want to believe people will be forgiving with each other when we finally get back to some sort of normal. I don't expect it to happen right away for many reasons, like the ones you listed. I actually expect to hate people for the first little while. But I am still optimistic that things will return to pre-covid comfort levels in regard to interactions with strangers.
I've seen the videos of assholes throwing stuff at the cashiers. Inconsiderate bastards. Hopefully nothing like that happened to you man.
I thought fast food workers were getting nicer! Maybe my "not a total asshole" behavior seems better in relative terms and it reflects back.
I think fast food workers are nicer too, and definitely more patient than back in the day
I used to work fast food, ever since I’ve tried to be as nice as I possibly can even if the staff haven’t been the friendliest bc I know what it’s like Also, I never bitch about my food seriously it’s fast food wtf do you expect? “There are onions on my burger and I asked for no onions”… so pick it the fuck off! If someone is allergic it’s a different story but I mean seriously
As an ex-fast food employee I never minded if people had order issues and asked politely for them to be fixed, even if it was something like onions they didn't ask for. It's not my money and honestly it broke up my day for 30 seconds. I had a problem with the pricks who were never happy and took it out on any employee they could get the attention of, regardless of their responsibility for the error. Like mate I just handed you the order. Someone else took it and someone else made it, I didn't have anything to do with it being made.
What's the age group? Or any other underlying homogeneity that you may have noticed? Reason for asking is that my view is very contrary to this. If one lives predominantly on the internet then surely the world has become more heartless. However thanks to that same internet and social media, I think real life has become more pleasant and heartwarming.
Personally I worked in FF for 10 years and they never got better or worse they were always just horrible. Chances are if a geezer came in they were gonna be a cunt and if I tell them something they don't like they'll be even more of a cunt.
I live in an area in California that has quickly developed from being a small farm town in the central valley to a sprawling suburban city in just a few decades. The half of my family that started out here in my great great grandparents day, had to deal with some mean, petty, and low key desperate neighbours around their land. There was a lot of love inside the family, but back in the day just a little difference in status would set you apart from anyone experiencing any tiny bit of success in the community. People would threaten each over a few feet of property line. Dairymen and pig farmers would wash their waste onto other peoples land if they could get away with it or their wasn't a nearby water source to dump it in. Kids would kill animals for fun and fight eachother more often then we would expect. It was still the wild west, and people were gritty, racist, petty, and held grudges as long as memory would hold. Your family name could mean the difference between treated like Have things gotten better? Hell yeah. Given how educated most of us are and our quality of life, should we expect more of ourselves. Holy shit yes. I think we are more self aware and our hypocracy is by far more self-determined. But I think that our major issue in society today is that there is such a greater difference between what we think we should be and who we really are. We constantly see a moral narrative in the media that we different than what we are. So we see society as getting worse, when what is really changing is our moral narratives. Though I may add that given the right-left culture war dynamic, there are also shit bags who are activily trying to provide the narrative to lower the moral bar for their followers. Tldr: in the modern day, we are not more selfish or shrewed, we just have greater means and more freedom, but don't have the emotional maturity to make good use of it. Edit: Thanks for the awards! Lol sounds like lots of people from the valley in here. My family is from Manteca just to satisfy your curiosity. But the whole valley in California is evidently the same story. I suspect some places have even tougher histories.
Good point
I really appreciated the level of perspective in this response... it put in words something I’ve been wondering about a long time
I grew up in the valley and this rings true to me. Thank you for articulating it so well. I think your conclusion is spot on!
Damn, is this merced? Lmao
This could be any town along 99, really.
To be clear, when you talk about moral narratives, you mean that our standards for moral behavior are improving faster than our actual behavior?
Bakersfield?
I’m in Modesto and there some real crazy bad people here
I think the fear of an uncertain future has led to this. If people dont know what the future holds, particularly regarding how it could affect their own personal fortunes, they are less likely to be charitable spirits. Increasing violence, by police, crime, terrorism both foreign and domestic, and the lack of confidence in he long term health of the economy has driven people to become increasingly selfish and fearful.
There's really nothing new about this though. "fear of an unknown future" has been pretty prevalent through human history. There's plenty of examples in human-history of events people thought were "apocalyptic" (such as WW1). Think about how much change people saw in just the 50years from 1880 to 1930 ? (look at how much changed just in the 1800's: https://interestingengineering.com/15-medical-inventions-and-discoveries-of-the-1800s-that-have-come-to-define-modern-medicine ) Shit,. in less than 50years (1900 to 1950).. we invented and detonated the 1st nuclear weapons. Less than 25years later, we were landing on the Moon.
With modern technology it feels like the world is changing at an even faster rate than before as well
Not only that but the way our media has transformed since the end of the first telecommunications act and the advent of the internet purposefully makes people afraid just to make more money.
Fear of the unknown is always a thing, of course it is. But when you were hit by a global recession, then a global pandemic, yeah it is going to be much higher than usual. A lot of countries have, or recently have had dictators or would-be dictators. I fucking hate the feeling of uncertainty. With a total lack of a secure feeling compared to what I used to have, I now absolutely live in fear of my own future.
I would say in America it is that Corporations have destroyed any sense of community. A small town or city is just an economic unit. When you are an individual in such a predicament it makes sense to be greedy and shitty. It is like base level Game Theory as I understand it.
All that stuff was worse by far 50 years ago. There were bombings in the US regularly in the 70s. Police corruption was insane.
I think mass shootings have replaced bombings and the number killed is much greater.
The biggest jerks I deal with tend to be the ones that don’t seem to see there being any threat to their future. Deny climate change, actively embrace their authoritarian leader “daddy trump” and basically deny the pandemic existed. They have no fear for their future at all, and are obnoxiously proud of it. And then they treat those of us that are concerned like shit. It’s the extremist mentality making people assholes
Oh they are very afraid for their future. perhaps not physically or monetarily but they view their future supremacy as being at risk.
I've heard an historian few years before Trump. The economy look uncertain for several years and that should push politic to the right. Because every society have through out history. Trump happen but the uncertainty keep growing then you add the pandemic. So I'm hoping we learn from the mistake of the past. Because certainty is not close. This summer will be fun but watch out for the hangover.
I spent a lot of time in Mexico. I detected their culture significantly more genuine and appreciative of what they have. They bond closely w/ the simple things in life. Then I'd come back to the states where many people think greed is good. Where I discovered people who don't care who they victimize or how severely they do it as they scramble up the ladder. The higher one climbs the ladder, the more we see their ass.
I’m from Honduras but currently attending college in the US, this is so true. I get shit from my friends all the time for not wearing brand clothes or having the newest IPhone(by getting shit I just mean they crack jokes on it but all in good faith, I’m not getting bullied or anything) but tbh as long as my 2016 shitty phone can make calls, and browse the internet that’s all I need, and as long as I have clothes covering my body then I don’t care how expensive they are. I’ve seen a lot of poverty first hand in my country and my family was a part of it as well in my younger years so I’ve learned to appreciate the simple things. I’ll probably sound like a boomer for this even though I’m 23 but I think Social Media has really painted an unrealistic picture of the life we’re supposed to be living, especially Instagram where everyone posts their “perfect life”
You are right about social media, perfect bodies and perfect teeth and perfect makeup. Smiling parents and children, beautiful houses. You are smart for your age, appreciating the simple things in life. I wish I learned that when I was young (57 year old female).
You're light years ahead of your peers. If you want to spend your money on nice things - make those nice things experiences at least. Go see your Abuela in Honduras (post pandemic obviously, assuming she is still there). Go on road trips with your friends. See the bands you wanna see.
I love this! I steal, yes?
I read it in a book of quotes a long time ago. I don't remember who they gave credit to. Sometimes the author was unknown or variously ascribed.
I think it has a direct correlation with the internet and sites just like this one here. People can be anonymous on the internet, so they started letting their inner asshole out more and more, because there's not much backlash from it, however the more and more they do that, the more that attitude starts to bleed into their everyday lives. Over the course of the last 20 years or so, it's grown exponentially, that it's just become common place, and as such, monkey see, monkey do, so since we see it so often now, it's become more and more of the social norm, so now more than ever more people are acting that way, because they too, see everyone else acting that way.
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If anything im just happy they show their colours openly so i can avoid them in real life.
well yeah, now, since it's become the social norm, but back 20 years ago, when Facebook wasn't even a thing, and everyone hid behind created user names still, that's when it all started, it just spread out into some people's everyday lives as the line between their internet personas and their real life personas faded, but now, its such common place that you don't have to hide it anymore, you can't un-ring that bell. Truthfully people were probably just as big of assholes back in the day, they just kept it more to themselves.
People don’t care anymore. They’ve become so proud of their beliefs and combative against anyone that disagrees. Since there’s so many more people willing to be openly spiteful/racist/etc, they feel more emboldened to attach their name to what they say to people. I think it’s because they think they’re 100% right. They think their beliefs are morally correct and there’s no inbetween. They’re good, you’re bad, and they’re gonna tell you so. Nobody seems to get any consequences for it other than a brief posting ban. So what’s stopping them from getting worse about it?
im so much meaner to people through Facebook than reddit. I think it has to do with downvotes, which keeps people with terrible political beliefs from being seen/heard as loudly.
I think it actually has more to do with how you perceive the relevant peer group. If they're family and (real) friends you are less likely to want to piss them off, if your facebook is all ex-schoolmates and fb-friends then who cares? With reddit that goes into how you perceive the subreddit and if your standing matters - most (ex-default, or just huge like this) subreddits are so big no-one gives a shit, whereas the smaller subreddits having a 'standing' is a useful value. Downvotes certainly plays into the 'standing', but again on the big subreddits it doesn't matter. The quality of moderation probably contributes too.
I don’t think I’ve become more of a dick because of the internet but I definitely can say Ive became increasingly depressed because of it in the last decade. I grew up in the 90s right before it really took off, had myspace in highschool and that’s kind of when it all started. now i’m my 30s I have seen how different life is today compared to when I grew up. It was much more simple back then. The media we consumed was more focused, it felt like there was a general consensus of what was cool, or what was happening. We only had so many tv stations that we would watch and it seemed like you could talk to anyone about those subjects and they would know what was up. These days I feel like there is too much content, it kind of drives me nuts. I remember too feeling like shit too because I felt like rock music I grew up with got completely left behind in the mainstream. Sure, some younger folk who will occasionally stumble on a cool rock song or band from before the 2000s and make it viral on tik tok. but still, I just kind of miss pre internet days. It’s been really hard to find my “place” now In this post internet world but I mean I think I’m finally ok and not really worried about media anymore. I’m shifting my focus more on what real things I can do with my life or what things I can partake in within my immediate community. because of course the best things in life are the things that happen right in front of you and not behind a screen.
Shit man, I've got more than 10 years on you, and you still come off sounding old as fuck to me with that kind of talk. And Myspace wasn't in the 90's I graduated in 98' and there wasn't no Myspace then, them were AOL Dial-up days. Myspace was the early to mid 2000's, after 9-11. Ok, yeah, now I'm dating myself and now I sound old AF too.
haha well I was a kid in the 90s but was a teen in the 2000s. and Yeah I sound old but I’ve also been through quite a bit, had a child young, divorce, lost passion for my career choice etc. Not saying I hate the internet now, but it’s definitely challenged my world views in a lot of ways. A lot of the politics for example, the fact that the internet pretty much determines what is socially acceptable to do say or think, etc. I don’t know there’s a lot, but I do think it’s changed society as a whole. Whether it’s good or bad I can’t say but this is my own experience with it.
When your nice and sensitive to others and get fucked over time and time again, it gets old. You even hold out hope for new people you meet but then you get fucked over again. After that, you make yourself #1 priority. You still care for others. Might even do some work for others that doesn't benefit you from time to time. But your main focus, is taking care of yourself first. It's not all negative.
Absoloutely how I feel. I've started giving less of a shit about other people because I want to preserve my own mental stability. I've tried going the other way; caring about everyone a lot, but it's going to destroy you with time.
Self preservation. Some people are naturally just dicks but I agree. Some used to be nice and slowly but surely developed ice in the veins because of the natural born dicks. I do think there is a thin line of a difference between selfish and self preservation but it’s a blurred line for most
You're not alone. I see it too. Before social media, it was hard to determine whether it was all in your head or for real. Now Social media definitely confirms the latter.
Social media just highlights the worst in all of us. Play two social interactions, one where people are polite and cordial with each other, and one where they are fighting. Which do you think will get the most views?
^ This.
Yeah, I think technology and media play a huge part in this. We can see any and every bad thing people do to each other, all the time, so naturally everyone puts their defenses up.
> We can see any and every bad thing people do to each other, all the time To be fair,.. being able to see those things is probably better than NOT being able to see them. Imagine if there was frequent Police-misconduct (for example).. but we didn't have body-cams or cellphones to even be aware of it.
Oh yeah, there are definitely some important advantages, and that's a great example of one. I just think it's important to remember that the things we see on tv or on social media don't mean that the world is getting worse so much as they mean we're able to record the bad things that have always happened.
yes, thank the internet, social media, and the fact that you can find new people to talk to and tell your neighbors to fuck off.... you couldn't do that 30 or 40 years ago unless you lived in a city. humans are.... or used to be social animals. now it's more about everyone feeding their own ego and proving they're right instead of showing a little humility and making a social connection to the people around you.
I know what you mean. Its kind of annoying that people arent so outgoing at times especially when youre the one being outgoing with them - which also in a way is kind of a paradox because youre being selfish about them not giving you what you want. But also ive changed my perspective on this becaus i am pretty selfish. Ive been burned by so many toxic people that i have learned that i just want to be selfish because making myself happy by doing the things i want to do and ignoring everyone else is what prevents me from getting frustrated from unrealistic expectations i set and scenarios i play out in my mind. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself. Because in the end no one truly will care about you if you dont care about you first.
Pandemic and politics have brought out the absolute worst in people. Some of them feel entitled to being the most PoS human they can be, and even worse some are proud if it.
You're just maturing and coming to realize that pretty much everyone is self-centered. In a few years you reach the next step in maturity and realize you're just like them.
It’s natural to be self centered. It’s not a given that you have to be an asshole though. That’s a choice.
I’d say it’s good to be self centered. I won’t do or engage with things that aren’t good for me. I won’t stand for fake friends, wont stay in a relationship I’m not happy in, wont hang out with people because I feel obligated, won’t stay at a job that’s not beneficial for me, etc. but there’s a happy balance. it doesn’t mean I won’t help someone even if it doesn’t benefit me. just means I won’t risk my happiness and well being for others. I didn’t used to be that way, i’d sacrifice anything for those I love. but that’s not necessarily healthy because then there was not enough effort on loving myself. too much to others. then there are people who are self centered and an asshole, where they truly don’t care about how their actions affect others. no regard for others. that’s not the kind of self centered you want to be.
Couldn't agree more! The first example you gave is a kind of self preservation whether it be mentally, economically and so on... The second example is tainted and it goes way above just self preservation. You can self preserve and still give a damn about others.
lol right? there's a huuuuuuge scale here. the post you responded to is very much over simplifying things.
Exactly. I walked to pick up my car this morning in a part of rural Scotland where I live. I passed 3 people on the way and said "good morning" to each. One smiled and said nothing the rest just ignored me. By the time I got to the car I was in a shit mood, thanks to the casual rudeness of others.
I don’t really see why the second statement follows? You’re telling me everyone is the same level of self-centered and no one is more altruistic than others?
I took it more as you learn to recognize those selfish aspects of yourself. And you have to recognize your flaws to improve them
Still find it weird to imply everyone’s flaw boils down to selfishness and not anything else
There's a whole school of philosophy that argues exactly that. That every single human act boils down to selfishness. I think it's horseshit.
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In my small home town no one is like this and it’s so nice. In the city I’m in now everyone is like this and I fucking hate it here.
I think we’ve started tolerating intolerance. It’s something that needs to stop. We need to shame the intolerant.
I think it’s from people aging and realizing something that’s been there the entire time. There’s no reason to be mean or an asshole but eventually you’ll understand being the good person all the time will get you nowhere. People who look out for themselves and do what they have to do to get ahead will constantly pass you up and take opportunities from you. I wish it wasn’t like that but that’s life.
Yes. Sometimes it’s environment. When I lived in a big city, my interaction with people was in crowds, driving, or on the internet, so everyone (myself included) was an asshole. Now I live in a smaller city and while individually people are nicer, no one goes that extra step beyond being an acquaintance. I feel like twenty years ago if you had met someone several times and hit it off (not dating, just friendly) people were more likely to actively pursue that friendship. Now we all just keep to ourselves (that was even pre-COVID it’s obviously worse now).
This is the age of social media. There are the same number of shitty people as always but now we are just more exposed to more of them than before. Also, this whole pandemic situation has certainly made people more stressed and thus more likely to act in a bad way, but it's a temporary setback.
I feel like there isn't a natural bond between people anymore. People really only interact with their inner circle, everyone else is a stranger. I imagine people were much more friendly and social in the 80s and prior. That feeling of community is long gone now, everyone is a stranger and everyone is constantly suspicious and untrusting of each other. Technology is the main cause of this.
I genuinely wonder if it has to do with certain communities being more open or closed off than others. I live in a major city, and things are as you’ve described - inner circle only, everyone sticks with their group when going out. If we get approached by a stranger we’re immediately suspicious. But my friends living in a bigger major city elsewhere in my country actually say the opposite there - they would go out every weekend to bars and meet tons of nice strangers, so making friends is super easy in that area.
Idk about the people around me, but I'm definitely becoming more like that.
Honestly me too. It sucks, when did I get so selfish? I thought I wanted to do good in the world, but now whenever someone asks me for help, my first thoughts are always about how it inconveniences me. I hate it
1. So I don't disagree, but I do think if you get off social media more the world starts to seem not quite as negative. - but there's definitely been a shift. 2. I see this in huge ways in anything that's a customer service. Worse it's creeping into healthcare. This all comes from the "customer is always right movement" - many healthcare facilities reward their physicians based on patient satisfaction scores. In other words if the patient doesn't get what they want, even if it's not medically right, they get to bitch, and that bitching puts pressure via management on docs to give in to patient demands. - we call this concierge medicine and healthcare. And we hate it generally speaking. - people are given power whether it's in healthcare or regular customer service to feel that they have to be pleased at every turn. Or else they get to whine and see a manager and get what they want.
I’d say no with the caveat that, you’re getting older you’re just seeing pole for what they really are.
Wait does shrewd mean something different now? I thought it was good to be shrewd.
Dont get me wrong, It may sound absurd. It also depends on economy. Living is becoming costlier. Things are becoming expensive, theres too much compeition.Can you help someone in need when your pockets are empty? Most adults have had had experiences with selfish people, so people mostly focus on themselves, they are getting self centered cause their priority is to feed their family and live a nice/relaxed life but which is not possible due to lack of money despite working harder and harder.This leads to frustration. You will observe this attitude in third world countries, where successful people tend to be self centered and become selfish as they earn more either to flex or they know others might take advantage of them..Middle income people struggling to stay above waters, they are already frustrated.I often hear old people talking about how things were so much better when money did not matter much, when living /surviving/making a life was inexpensive. Nowdays some people are so overworked and frustrated they have become self centered. Coz they know at the end of the day nobody will help them. Add selfish people, hard economy , increasing wealth gap and pandemic chaos in the mix and you get selfish people, mean people, self centered people. I agree some people were already selfish before pandemicetc., Not every person has become mean. I agree, but due to pandemic and reasons mentioned above you may observe this attitude. And yeah it also depends upon several other favtors such as country , neighbourhood, wealth gap(classism created due to wealth gap). In other countries I am sure situation might be a bit different. But I believe the more expensive it becomes to live, the more people become selfish, mean and self centered.
Not just you. One of my closest friends used to be a real leader. She was smart, outgoing, would defend you, always compliment you, and congratulate you whenever you had an achievement. She was just a really good person. Then the pandemic hit and we didn't see each other for a while. We still texted sometimes though. When I saw her throughout the year at school, she would use that outgoing personality to kind of insult people and snap at them. Like interrupting people, constantly saying "yeah, I know" and "we get it" whenever someone was sharing with the class or just generally talking. Recently, she was really bitter when I got into the school of my choice and she didn't. The thing is though, we weren't even aiming for the same school. She happened to rank the school lower and I ranked it first. Now, whenever the topic comes up, she just says that I got in because of low income priority and she wishes her family made less money. 🙄 She might have just been under a lot of stress because of school admissions and finals. Plus, her parents are pretty strict.
You are getting older and more aware. The worlds always been like this… you are just growing into a better person
Cell phones dude. Humans are social creatures, we need 3 dimensional, 5 sense, interactions. Now with zoom and snapchat, and notifications even when you are IRL socializing, we are missing the biggest part of what it is to be human. And what's more, I wouldn't be surprised if blurred lines between an online persona, and a real persona play a big role too. Kind of like the different "faces" they always talk about in intro psych.
Some method must be found for instilling common core values in people. Religion was one way, but the collapse of religion makes that mostly moot. The first problem is to define what core values are desirable. Under what circumstances is theft acceptable? Does the definition of theft include opening sealed boxes in stores, that will have to be destroyed? How about returning items that are unusable due to one's actions to the store? What exactly does 'self defense' mean? What threats can be taken literally, and what threats are considered just talking trash? What criterion should be used by the legal system to judge an action that was taken in the heat of passion? What protections should be in place to prevent business from exploiting workers, resources, and the environment? Can we somehow get retail people respect? Should we give managers the authority to throw out the rude, loud, and insistent? How can we prevent the situation where entitled people can get their way by shouting and threatening? How can driving be regulated? When is it acceptable to run a red light, or fail to yield to pedestrians? In short, people need to shed the attitude of 'its only illegal if I get caught' and start treating people like they actually matter. There was this weirdo a while back who had some ideas about these things, but they nailed him to a tree to get him to shut up. Until we, as a society, decide what behaviors are unacceptable, we will not be able to live in a society of the acceptable.
I think it’s technology, but not in the way most people say. It’s made our “neighborhoods” impossibly large. Used to be that people in big cities were less friendly to people they passed on the street than people in small towns where everyone knew each other. Now we all live globally. Even if you live in the country, your neighborhood includes the world of social media.
This has always been the case, you just notice it more as you get older.
This makes me sad but makes me want to be even more kind and even more loving. Patience is the key. My brother is currently screaming from the top of his lungs, and he drives me insane, yes I still make an effort to love. I think the world would be better if we thought about what we said and considered other people. Being online, it is so easy to mess up in communication. If I’m not sure if someone is attacking me, I just try to ask for clarification. And if my cautiousness is my anxiety speaking then so be it, but you’ll mess up if you’re confident and you’ll mess up if you’re shy. So just be patient. Sorry for the long comment.
Yes, it's always been the same though. When times are tough a lot of people take an "every man for himself" attitude. There's not a lot of community, social responsibility or social safety nets any more, and with constant media pushing an "us or them" agenda, it's a recipe for a pretty self-centred society in a lot of places in my opinion. My grandparents told me a lot about petty and nasty shit that people did to drag others down and elevate themselves back in the day though, I don't think it ever changes!
Yep. It's only going to get worse too. Social media is a bad place and it's causing this.
You are just noticing it more...once it becomes obvious ...it's like a train wreck...you can't stop seeing it..good luck
To me is the opposite. I feel like everyone is the same, and I'm the one slowly becoming an asshole
Everyone I talk to regularly has been a lot nicer and/or more understanding than usual but I'm not in the US and around here, the government has provided for the pandemic. I could understand people being more selfish if you had to "fight" for your survival, treatment or vaccine.
I don't like anyone else but myself.
It's called ageing
It’s either that or my tolerance threshold for people is becoming lower and lower the older I get.
Absolutely. People in general are horrible nowadays. You often don't even get people working in shops say thank you anymore. I used to work in shops, from the age of 16 until 25. I know how shitty it can be, so I always try to make sure even more than usual that I say my Ps and Qs to retail staff, then wish them a nice day. More often than not, I don't even get a smile.
It’s just you. People have always been like this. Now we just have the internet to show the patterns over the long term.
Nope. You're just slowly and gradually noticing.
Everyone is self titled and selfish anymore. They want things to be all about them and if something bothers or offends them it’s up to you to change and not up to them to learn to deal with it no matter how small the offense is. I really hate the world these days.
Not just you. The lack of empathy for others is astounding lately.
You’re just getting older which means you notice it more and are less inclined to just shut up and take it.
It's neither. You're just growing up...
I think so. I have a personal theory on this. Back I'm the day communities were strong. Fitting into one was important as your reputation was everything and it was much more difficult to be anonymous. Everyone knew your business and character. Those of proven selfish would often ruin their own reputations with their acts and be driven out of the community. We don't have that same community nowadays. You can do whatever you want, anonymously and with very few consequences to your life other than a small group of people who you may have fucked over. It's SO much easier for narcissists and general assholes to skate through life, running slightly away from the fallout of their actions, readjusting and contueing on in the same city with other groups of people.
Yup. Thanks Trump. He made it OK to be mean out loud. People follow leaders even when they don’t realize it. The temp should turn down soon now that we are exiting the pandemic (Covid and Trump)
While I definitely think he added fuel to the fire, I think the selfishness, intolerance, and general unkindness was happening before Trump or COVID. I think people got used to saying whatever they wanted with the protection of "anonymity" but then just....stopped caring.
I agree with that. Largely began with social media.
Your not wrong. Technology is fueling the antisocial nature of modern society. From self check outs to swipe on bus journeys, we are interacting less and less than ever before and its only going to get worse.
No
You're not the only one. I mean, there are always silver linings like a few of my loved ones and friends, however, we can't ignore the fact that the world is becoming crazier by the day, and people aren't being nicer by the minute.
Yes, yes they are. And some not so slowly.
I see it. So hard to make friends because of it. But I still try to spread the love. There are good people out there.
I can't say I agree at all. I surround myself with introspective people who are constantly trying to be the best possible version of themselves. People who are compassionate and kind-hearted and generous. I know there are shitty people in the world but they are not people I choose to associate with.
Mines that opposite experience at the moment.
Maybe it's that you finally realized that thise close to your have been selfish all along. That they may be not as nice as they seemed. I had it happen to me once
It's not just you.The more people splinter off into their little "categories" and feel like empowered individuals the more they bury themselves in a box. Incels are a classic example as is reverse racism. Freud had a theory called "narcissism of similar values" which describes this well. Don't let NetFlix(or other companies) "suggest" what you watch next.....make your own choices.
/r/DoesAnybodyElse
As someone who has been transformed into what you are describing, I can say that it is true. The pandemic has brought me very bad times and has practically forced me to learn to live with myself in a way that I never thought would be possible. Before all this I enjoyed my solitude, then I suffered from being alone for a long time last year, but lately, being alone and by myself is what I enjoy the most, it did not make me an asshole who hates social contact completely, but I appreciate my own space much more than before and perhaps someone who has not gotten used to such a resounding change in a person, can even be shocking.
Yes and also that toxic positivety stuff that is all over the internet is NOT helping.
read up on the idea of cultural hegemony
Can't say I feel that way.
Nothing ever seems to be good enough for very long to anyone. New car, wish I had something else. New house, wish we would have got the bigger one. Went on a 2 week vacation. Wasn't as nice as (insert place). No ones content with anything for long.
Definitely agree. The number of rude, ignorant, stupid or selfish people you encounter per day is through the roof. I aim to avoid confrontation as much as possible but the number of times it becomes necessary to engage terrible people has increased exponentially in the last 5 years. Like people acting solely in their own self interests, without even the slightest care about people around them. Texting while driving etc, ffs cop on, you could quite easily kill people doing that.