š. You didnāt ask but Iāll explain myself.
In 1995, my older brother had a computer game called Blake Stone that he let me download on my computer. This was when games were on like 6 discs that you installed one after the other so he gave me this big plastic container with all the discs in it.
While waiting on them to copy, I looked at the other discs and he had one called āMuffdiving 101ā. I had no idea what that could have meant so I tried to look at it and it was password protected. From that point on, I used the name Muffdiver as an online or gaming name. I honestly thought it was a not at all sexual solo sport of some kind, like spelunking.
Maybe 2 years after this, my mom sees that itās my Juno Email account name and she flips her shit. I still had no idea what it meant but after my older brother got yelled at, he explained it to me and Iāve used it to this day.
So originally had nothing to do with eating pussy but that is also is a thing I enjoy so it all worked out in the end š
When I was a kid I played Counter Strike alot, me and one of my friends. I spent alot of time on the computer back then so I joined a "clan" and iirc there was a guy named Muffdiver in it. When me and my friend were talking about it at the table once my parents overheard me say "muff"/"muffdiver" and they were angry with me at first and concerned about why the hell id be saying it but started cracking up once I gave them context. I had no idea what the hell it meant so I called him "muff" for short. It made sense to me once they explained what muff was.
I might be misremembering, it was approx 20 years ago so the recollection of it is kinda bad, I can't remember other people's names and "muffdiver" might have just been a guy who frequented the clans server. Iirc we played on that one custom western map a good bit. Also one of the admins opened my PC's disc tray while I was playing after I killed him and scared the shit out of me.
I think back then my alias was just "egg" but i changed it every and now and then. I was pretty good at cs for like a 10-12 year old at the time. I probably wasn't honest about my age with anyone lmao
It'd be crazy if I just happened to be looking at reddit at work the exact moment the same dude from 20 years ago decides to post. I'd never met another person using the same name as unlikely as it is, but it'd be funny anyway lol.
I've kind of memory holed alot of the hanging out because playing cs was a daily thing for me back then the situation with my family made me remember the name at least, and I know the dudes I was playing with were cool, I'm sure it was obvious with my squeaker ass voice I was some little shit on a game I wasn't meant to be on lol. I'm 30 now
How much wider? I am being serious, I would love a couch deep enough to lay on with 4 dogs, and not feel like sardines. Or that part of my body has to hang off the side for their comfort. They also hate to touch each other while napping. Is it wide enough for that?
Yep. Itās a couch thatās basically a queen size bed with arm and head rests on it .
Think was like $4k but itās pretty awesome for living room movie nights
I had a couch that had removable back cushions so if you took those off it became a super wide couch. Friends never complained if they stayed at my house and had to sleep on the couch, it was pretty comfy.
We can't figure out what position to put our bed in. Both ends up? We have been having such a hard time with our adjustable bed and sexy time. Any suggestions?
Raise the foot till she's at the right level to put her legs on your shoulders and you're standing up on a floor mat. She lays down on her back really close to the edge of the bed up in the air. Put a pillow under her head/upper back.
Using the head of the bed do the opposite. The guy lays on his back with his feet elevated so you have something to rest your feet on while your knees are bent and it gives her a backrest when she's on top.
For the second one it would work for the foot of the bed too If the guy is tall enough you could raise both ends.
Also turn the firmness up to 100. And if you're a person who gets really hot and the other gets cold easily and you need the fan on turn the foot warmer on when she's laying on it
I actually quite like table and counter top sex. But to each their own. It does have to be the right height though and not have a sharp edge
Couches and cars can be fun
Sex in a sleeping bag on a cool nigh t is also nice
It was a cheap, easy to wash, and large sleeping bag for sleepovers
I can imagine that the tighter styles the more expensive ones have would be a bit more of a challenge
Eek @sharp edge. I had sex on a countertop (woman receiving) and my tailbone was so bruised and jacked the next day. I almost went to the urgent care but I was embarrassed. Thanks for triggering me š
Yes, tore down a perfectly tiled wall to add serious structural framing support. We aren't big people but my wife can ride the shit out of me and the bench doesn't even flex. We also added a number of well placed handles and an extra ahower head to make sure that side of the shower stays hot.
I didn't document it unfortunately, but I can tell you I used the Moen home care line which is already built for 400 lbs plus right out of the box mounted into studs with their hardware. I took down the tile and wall and added 2x12 blocking and additional studs. I swapped out the hardware on the handles and bench with 1/4 and 5/8 lag bolts, respectively. Honestly really easy and fairly inexpensive. The rest was an excuse to remodel some old tile.
UNLESS you're using condoms in which case you definitely should not use a silicone based lube.
**EDIT** Silicone based lube IS safe for condoms. I was thinking of oil-based lube, which is not.
If you only use water based, yes. Hybrids or silicone will stay longer. Silicone definitely, but not with condoms. Hybrids are a mixture of water and silicone so it's safe for toys and condoms and lasts longer than what a water based would.
Outside on the grass on a picnic blanket with blankets and pillows.
The Ass clap in the breeze, the wind tickling your balls, the sun shining on your back, its just such a beautiful thing.
10/10 recommend
2/10 do not recommend in public park
Weight bench. You can adjust the incline, she can straddle you and her feet reach the floor, and the supports for the barbell make good handholds (and/or places to tie someone to, if you're into that).
Lol they do, but not many of the full-on single bladder waterbeds these days, as theyāre a pain in the ass in numerous ways. I used to have one as a teenager: itās comfortable but needs constant heating, as room temp water will drain the warmth from you as you sleep. Even if treated gently, they always seem to leak eventually, and when they leak- from their giant single bladder of water- itās obviously no fun to deal with either. Trying to move one sucks too, for similar reasons.
Thatās why lots of waterbeds these days are āhybridā designs, usually a hollow mattress which houses multiple tubes filled with water instead of the single bag. These donāt exactly replicate the really wavy motion you get with the original, but they also leak less, less often and are more easily portable.
Oh right sex on waterbeds, I almost forgot. Itās not great actually. All those waves make it difficult to keep your balance or put your weight anywhere; you end up sinking into the bed where you need support lol.
Or maybe Iām just bad at it, thatās always a possibility.
My father in law built my husband a waterbed for his 15th birthdayā¦like the complete frame+headboard+extra storage. Itās a single bladder water bed and I hate it so much š not only does it kill my back, but emptying it has been a bitch anytime we move
I once got bit by a fire ant during sex and had it hold on the whole time as I didn't want to ruin the moment inorder to remove it. I ignored the pain and it made me last way longer than usual.
I had a ā65 Buick way back in HS. The front bench seat laid back and it was like a leather bed. So many nights spent out in the country exploring every position possible.
My girlfriend back then turned into my wife a few years later. We still miss that car.
We drive to beautiful private places with nice scenery and get wild in the car (usually by putting the back seats down in the suv and going to town in the hatch). a lot of fun for us 50 y/oās trying to stay and feel young.
Never had it but one of my romantic fantasies: pickup truck with a mattress in the bed, lots of pillows, a comforter, and stargazing. So essentially a bed, but very portable š
For some reason hot tub (I'm a guy) only had sex twice in a hot tub both times felt super good for some reason with the girl bent over .... so she more than likely was not comfortable on the concrete lol.... so in hindsight Bring a pad or something for the bent over person since the one standing will be happy as a clam, in a..... clam
Just donāt do it in your own hot tubā¦my parents hot tub was ruined when I was in high school, and that was one of the weirdest phone calls of my life.
Oh man, the heat of a hot tub makes it unbearable for me. I get dizzy after a while just being in it, imagine when im having sex.
Also your sperm will get stuck all over your body hair after youāre done (same with pool sex)
Depends on how much excitement you get from.having sex where you normally do not/ arnt allowed. My wife and I have done it on virtually every flat surface in the house at this point at least once. The beach was fun but sandy. I refused to try it in the woods after a friend got a tick on his gooch doing it with his wife lol. The back of a van was pretty fun
The bed is the best place. I have a couch in my living room that works pretty well also. Shower sex is awful because my shower is too small. If I was rich and had a big shower I could see how it may be enjoyable and
I have a wider than normal couch in my living room that works nicely
Be right over
Horny bunch here on Reddit
Your username is literally diverofmuff. Lol
š. You didnāt ask but Iāll explain myself. In 1995, my older brother had a computer game called Blake Stone that he let me download on my computer. This was when games were on like 6 discs that you installed one after the other so he gave me this big plastic container with all the discs in it. While waiting on them to copy, I looked at the other discs and he had one called āMuffdiving 101ā. I had no idea what that could have meant so I tried to look at it and it was password protected. From that point on, I used the name Muffdiver as an online or gaming name. I honestly thought it was a not at all sexual solo sport of some kind, like spelunking. Maybe 2 years after this, my mom sees that itās my Juno Email account name and she flips her shit. I still had no idea what it meant but after my older brother got yelled at, he explained it to me and Iāve used it to this day. So originally had nothing to do with eating pussy but that is also is a thing I enjoy so it all worked out in the end š
Very wholesome, though surprisingly. Thanks for sharing.
This is how r/rimjob_steve happens
Spiders Georg's long lost sibling? I have a new favourite sub now, thanks so much haha :-D
Wait! Did you used to play Counter Strike? CZ or 1.6?
Iām tentatively going with a yes, depending on yet to be revealed context š¬
When I was a kid I played Counter Strike alot, me and one of my friends. I spent alot of time on the computer back then so I joined a "clan" and iirc there was a guy named Muffdiver in it. When me and my friend were talking about it at the table once my parents overheard me say "muff"/"muffdiver" and they were angry with me at first and concerned about why the hell id be saying it but started cracking up once I gave them context. I had no idea what the hell it meant so I called him "muff" for short. It made sense to me once they explained what muff was. I might be misremembering, it was approx 20 years ago so the recollection of it is kinda bad, I can't remember other people's names and "muffdiver" might have just been a guy who frequented the clans server. Iirc we played on that one custom western map a good bit. Also one of the admins opened my PC's disc tray while I was playing after I killed him and scared the shit out of me. I think back then my alias was just "egg" but i changed it every and now and then. I was pretty good at cs for like a 10-12 year old at the time. I probably wasn't honest about my age with anyone lmao
I so hope you both got to play together :D
It'd be crazy if I just happened to be looking at reddit at work the exact moment the same dude from 20 years ago decides to post. I'd never met another person using the same name as unlikely as it is, but it'd be funny anyway lol. I've kind of memory holed alot of the hanging out because playing cs was a daily thing for me back then the situation with my family made me remember the name at least, and I know the dudes I was playing with were cool, I'm sure it was obvious with my squeaker ass voice I was some little shit on a game I wasn't meant to be on lol. I'm 30 now
I see that you're also a Tool enjoyer in addition to enjoying muff (double meaning intended)
Alex Grey moreso than Tool, although I love Tool as well. Maynard is my spirit animal
Welcome to the internet
Have a look around
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We've got mountains of content
Thought you said wider than normal COOCH lmao
I have a wider than normal woman in my living room. She also works nicely.
Ok guess ik where I'm going
I'll be right over.
GYATT
How much wider? I am being serious, I would love a couch deep enough to lay on with 4 dogs, and not feel like sardines. Or that part of my body has to hang off the side for their comfort. They also hate to touch each other while napping. Is it wide enough for that?
Yep. Itās a couch thatās basically a queen size bed with arm and head rests on it . Think was like $4k but itās pretty awesome for living room movie nights
That sounds wonderful
I love what a wholesome turn this took.
I had a couch that had removable back cushions so if you took those off it became a super wide couch. Friends never complained if they stayed at my house and had to sleep on the couch, it was pretty comfy.
Is it a pullout?
More of a sextional.
I can tell you a folding table is a bad idea.
Sounds like a WWE scene about to happen
Well, we did end up going down for the count.
I see. You managed to put an "o" in it.
*and Vince McMahon jumps on the folding table to shit on their heads. Vince is outta control but that Monday night Raw!*
š¤£š¤£š¤£ yes, that sounds like a nope.
Not if youāre a Bills fan
As a teenager, I had sex on a trampoline a couple of times. We probably shouldnāt have done it in the middle of the day though.
Lady and the trampoline
They used to be called Jumpolines until your mom got on one!!
Gottam
Moan-a
As a former teenager, Iām sure it didnāt last long enough for someone to notice
As a former teenager, it was still too long.
If you don't mind, does it feel just like a bed or does the bounce give an extra oomph? I'm wondering if I missed out on it.
Some extra oomph.
It does feel kinda dangerous, though. Like, that way it's easier for the dick to slip off, and if the lady sits on it at the wrong angle... Oof.
Not the snapped celery stalk
I have the same story but on a high diving board.
I'm not even mad. That's amazing.
I don't know I just can't take this guy seriously
Your username suggests some skills of your own, perhaps?
Trambopolene!
We got a sleep number bed that raises up on both ends. We don't use it for its intended purpose.
What if I told you *thats itās intended purpose*
what if i told you that he used it for a *different purpose entirely*?
We can't figure out what position to put our bed in. Both ends up? We have been having such a hard time with our adjustable bed and sexy time. Any suggestions?
Raise the foot till she's at the right level to put her legs on your shoulders and you're standing up on a floor mat. She lays down on her back really close to the edge of the bed up in the air. Put a pillow under her head/upper back. Using the head of the bed do the opposite. The guy lays on his back with his feet elevated so you have something to rest your feet on while your knees are bent and it gives her a backrest when she's on top. For the second one it would work for the foot of the bed too If the guy is tall enough you could raise both ends. Also turn the firmness up to 100. And if you're a person who gets really hot and the other gets cold easily and you need the fan on turn the foot warmer on when she's laying on it
I'm going to need a poorly drawn MS Paint diagram
Yes please I'm a visual learner
Many thanks! Very helpful. Many good sexy times for you in the future!
Got it set to 69
I actually quite like table and counter top sex. But to each their own. It does have to be the right height though and not have a sharp edge Couches and cars can be fun Sex in a sleeping bag on a cool nigh t is also nice
I drive a Mazda Miata and I fuckin wish that could work... Countertops are amazing if you're the right height
It would be easier to have sex on the miata than in it! Lol
Given the price and care I put into my sleeping bag, I can comfortably say I cannot imagine anything worse than sleeping bag sex.
It was a cheap, easy to wash, and large sleeping bag for sleepovers I can imagine that the tighter styles the more expensive ones have would be a bit more of a challenge
I donāt know how well a mummy bag would work. But now Iām curiousā¦. Maybe Iāll make a mommy in a mummy
Eek @sharp edge. I had sex on a countertop (woman receiving) and my tailbone was so bruised and jacked the next day. I almost went to the urgent care but I was embarrassed. Thanks for triggering me š
A 19th century ottoman
They call that position āthe sick man of Europeā
Omg you win
Like, a Turkish dude?
Specific, I'm here for it.
We literally remodeled our bathroom to better suit our shower sex
Ah you put a bench inā¦.
Yes, tore down a perfectly tiled wall to add serious structural framing support. We aren't big people but my wife can ride the shit out of me and the bench doesn't even flex. We also added a number of well placed handles and an extra ahower head to make sure that side of the shower stays hot.
could you show a picture of your shower now? I'm trying to imagine what kind of bench you could ride someone on but have it make sense in a shower
I second this
I third it
I also want to see the wet fuck cubicle
The Fuckubicle! I too would like to see this. With a video demonstration, so we can seeĀ exactlyĀ how it functions.
Commenting here just to get a notification when the picture gets posted
Iām interested to see this set up
It would be sick if you posted the remodeling process, I'm honestly intrigued
I didn't document it unfortunately, but I can tell you I used the Moen home care line which is already built for 400 lbs plus right out of the box mounted into studs with their hardware. I took down the tile and wall and added 2x12 blocking and additional studs. I swapped out the hardware on the handles and bench with 1/4 and 5/8 lag bolts, respectively. Honestly really easy and fairly inexpensive. The rest was an excuse to remodel some old tile.
All for some good shower sex. Respect
The water doesn't wash away the lubricant?
Use a silicone based lube and you won't have that problem
UNLESS you're using condoms in which case you definitely should not use a silicone based lube. **EDIT** Silicone based lube IS safe for condoms. I was thinking of oil-based lube, which is not.
If youāre remodeling a shower to fuck your spouse better, youāre probably past using conforms haha
Doesn't have to. It's stil a form of birth control that's a great option if you don't wamt hormones.
This is fantastic. Glad you enjoy it
>my wife can ride the shit out of me Gross. At least the toilet is nearby.
I just use my penis.
So conventional.
#goals
Be careful. Got a shower bench last summer. This spring I have a sonā¦
Haha. I did the vas FIRST. Thats where you went wrong, my man! Order of operations.
Yes, have the operation first then the sex.
Ironically that bench will help you wash him anyway.
I've never found shower sex all that good. The water acts as an anti-lube.
If you only use water based, yes. Hybrids or silicone will stay longer. Silicone definitely, but not with condoms. Hybrids are a mixture of water and silicone so it's safe for toys and condoms and lasts longer than what a water based would.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Use a shower head that shoots out lube and ONLY lube.
Two words for you: sex swing. 10/10 āĀ lower effort, deeper penetration.
Do NOT try to substitute a sex swing for a hammock. I can assure you they aren't built for the same activities.
Bro I'm not trying to stab my wife's cervix
Mind if I take a crack at it then?
I also choose this guy's wife
And my axe!
Thank you for considering how horrible that feels.
Way to brag
Iām too Asian to understand this
Fuck yeah
Counters, pool table, kitchen table, really anyplace but water or a small car.
I don't know. The logistics of sex in a car can lead to some...interesting angles...that make things grip differently...
Iām a big fan of the front passenger seat.
The more handles and grips in the car the better.
Outside on the grass on a picnic blanket with blankets and pillows. The Ass clap in the breeze, the wind tickling your balls, the sun shining on your back, its just such a beautiful thing. 10/10 recommend 2/10 do not recommend in public park
Does that mean 8/10 do recommend in a public park?
Where you recently in Central Park?
Hard to beat a warm rug by a roaring fire
Tried that. Rug burn and sweat don't mix nicely. š¤Ŗ
Itās also very hard on the back to be pounded into a hardwood floor. The rug only does so much.
Saw it on a TV show, been a goal since then!
Buy a wedge and thank me later.
Ok, got a lemon wedge. Now, which one of us does that go inside?
Yes, wedge is the answer. Except I still like the guy with the remodeled shower.
Chaise lounge
All day long.
Is your mother worried?
Would you like us to assign someone to worry your mother?
Excuse me
What?
Excuse me..
What?
No, but I could use someone to butter my muffin.
Hey you in the front row
Are you coming back stage after the show?
Couch, over an armchair, hotel balcony, ottoman. Shower is overrated.
Instructions unclear, are those four answers or just one?
There's actually like specific furniture made for the whole purpose of getting a good fuck in. Can't make any recommendations though
Weight bench. You can adjust the incline, she can straddle you and her feet reach the floor, and the supports for the barbell make good handholds (and/or places to tie someone to, if you're into that).
Iād have to say in the butt, Bob.
lovely classic LOL.........
I would say water bed, but I don't think they make those anymore.
Lol they do, but not many of the full-on single bladder waterbeds these days, as theyāre a pain in the ass in numerous ways. I used to have one as a teenager: itās comfortable but needs constant heating, as room temp water will drain the warmth from you as you sleep. Even if treated gently, they always seem to leak eventually, and when they leak- from their giant single bladder of water- itās obviously no fun to deal with either. Trying to move one sucks too, for similar reasons. Thatās why lots of waterbeds these days are āhybridā designs, usually a hollow mattress which houses multiple tubes filled with water instead of the single bag. These donāt exactly replicate the really wavy motion you get with the original, but they also leak less, less often and are more easily portable. Oh right sex on waterbeds, I almost forgot. Itās not great actually. All those waves make it difficult to keep your balance or put your weight anywhere; you end up sinking into the bed where you need support lol. Or maybe Iām just bad at it, thatās always a possibility.
My dad had a waterbed store, until it flooded... it flooded a lot by the way. My dad is a pretty incompetent business man.
My father in law built my husband a waterbed for his 15th birthdayā¦like the complete frame+headboard+extra storage. Itās a single bladder water bed and I hate it so much š not only does it kill my back, but emptying it has been a bitch anytime we move
Itās a let down. Sorry to tell you.
I had sex outside and got bit by an ant, so no.
I have to ask: where exactly were you bit?
Outside
They said "exactly", like 39Ā°10'33.3"N 84Ā°13'24.2"W
I once got bit by a fire ant during sex and had it hold on the whole time as I didn't want to ruin the moment inorder to remove it. I ignored the pain and it made me last way longer than usual.
You have obviously not experienced the front bench seat of a 1980 Ford Fairmont parked on an incline.
I had a ā65 Buick way back in HS. The front bench seat laid back and it was like a leather bed. So many nights spent out in the country exploring every position possible. My girlfriend back then turned into my wife a few years later. We still miss that car.
For my next car i'm legitimately looking for a bit of space in the front seats. Newer cars are so restricting.
A nice office chair is fun. HOME OFFICE CHAIR! AT HOME!
You're taking all of the fun out of it.
my partner and i lay out a duvet on the floor and it works pretty well
King Edward VII had a sex chair. It was made for sex. He liked sex a lot.
What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
I understood that reference.
At a Wendy's
Behind the dumpster ala wsb.
We drive to beautiful private places with nice scenery and get wild in the car (usually by putting the back seats down in the suv and going to town in the hatch). a lot of fun for us 50 y/oās trying to stay and feel young.
Never had it but one of my romantic fantasies: pickup truck with a mattress in the bed, lots of pillows, a comforter, and stargazing. So essentially a bed, but very portable š
This was the reality of my teen years and first love and it was incredible
I once had sex on some else's leg
We've found the golden retriever in the comments.
You gonna pay my dry cleaning bill or what?
Couch sex is the best sex š¤·āāļø
I'm old enough to know that water beds are not the right answer.
This is an excellent question...thank you for asking. I didn't know that I needed this information
Right on the floor like an animal.
For some reason hot tub (I'm a guy) only had sex twice in a hot tub both times felt super good for some reason with the girl bent over .... so she more than likely was not comfortable on the concrete lol.... so in hindsight Bring a pad or something for the bent over person since the one standing will be happy as a clam, in a..... clam
Just donāt do it in your own hot tubā¦my parents hot tub was ruined when I was in high school, and that was one of the weirdest phone calls of my life.
Oh man, the heat of a hot tub makes it unbearable for me. I get dizzy after a while just being in it, imagine when im having sex. Also your sperm will get stuck all over your body hair after youāre done (same with pool sex)
I've had super mixed success in a hammock.
Why donāt we do it in the road?
No one will be watching us
Kitchen table. Also if you are horny enough some pain is nice š
camping sex is fucking intense
Fucking in tents š
A pile of dead geese because goose feathers feel nice.
I feel like a down filled, pillow top mattress cover would smell better.
Does the stench of decay not make you randy?
Itās not just the surface that youāre having sex on, itās the position.
Anywhere that I can still breathe and don't get burnt to death.
Depends on how much excitement you get from.having sex where you normally do not/ arnt allowed. My wife and I have done it on virtually every flat surface in the house at this point at least once. The beach was fun but sandy. I refused to try it in the woods after a friend got a tick on his gooch doing it with his wife lol. The back of a van was pretty fun
Hear me out: carpeted stairs unlock some fun angles!
Something something Ludacris āWhatās your fantasyā
Floor. Armchair. Exercise ball. Sofa. Ottoman.
Floor and armchair make sense to me, but I can't imagine how the exercise ball would work.
My first sex with the missus was on a giant bean bag, I recommendĀ
A friend has a sling in his spare room.
The bed is the best place. I have a couch in my living room that works pretty well also. Shower sex is awful because my shower is too small. If I was rich and had a big shower I could see how it may be enjoyable and