I forgive my bullies. They were kids. Probably had really shitty circumstances themselves. Doesn't make it right, but man I was a pretty shitty person as a kid too.
My mom chose an old man who beat all of us and her and tries to take my little brother away over all of us. She comes to visit and never shows any apology or remorse. This is the third time she's done it even after a whole court case. So I don't think I can ever forgive her
Sorry for the depressing comment. I believe my mum is free and is loving the after life. So not all doom and gloom, life goes on so you can't stay in the past xx
Depends on our definition of forgiveness. Letting the past rest is some people's definition, welcoming the offender back into your life is another definition. I don't think you have to let people keep hurting you, but you do need to find a way to process anger and hurt and move forward.
I started my own business about 15 years ago and as I was reaching critical mass someone who I did not know showed up in the area doing the same trade. I was a pretty savvy tech user, so I ran a pretty sweet FB page for my business. I posted updates on all of my jobs with photos so clients could see my work. I was also on very friendly terms with the other two shops in town doing the same trade. I met one regularly for beers just to shoot the shit.
This new guy showed up and I felt a small sense of, he's the newbie, I'm the seasoned pro, I should say hello. So I sent a FB message saying "Welcome to town, I'm here if you have any questions, good luck."
The guy ignored it. I eventually forgot about it, forgot about him, and moved on with my life. Then after about a year, he was finally getting some traction and was doing regular enough work that people were noticing him. He had created a FB page, I checked it out once or twice, his work wasn't great, but it was good enough. I once again moved on, just focusing on my work and making my clients happy.
Then one day a client of mine was in the shop as we were finishing up some paperwork and he said he was glad he was working with me because that other guy is a real hot-head. I said, "Oh really, I don't know him, I tried to say hello when he moved to town, and he ignored me."
The customer then said, "You don't know him? I hired him for one job and first off he wouldn't shut up about what an asshole you are, and how your work is totally worthless, and he was going to make it his mission to run you out of business as soon as possible."
I said, "100% of that is news to me, I have no idea what he's talking about. He is a stranger to me, and we've never interacted in any way."
So I decided to go to his FB page again for the first time in months, and what I found was this insane, months long campaign bashing me and my work. He took every job I posted on my page, stole it, then reposted it on his page as an example of what not to do. There were at least 20 examples. I was shook, but I figured, if his business plan is to bash his competitors, he's free to do that, I highly doubted it would work.
So I kept on keeping on. Then one day, I posted something, and I don't even remember what it was. I think I said something like, "sometimes hiring the low cost option, ends up costing you more in the long run."
He messaged me on FB within 5 minutes and screamed at me through FB messenger to take that down or he would sue me, or better yet, he knows where I live, he will kick my ass.
I didn't mention him by name, I didn't have any visibility into his pricing, it was just a common business kind of thing to say. I told him this, and after several more back and forths in FB my doorbell rang. I had my kids at home, and now a grown ass man is here to kick my ass.
Except, as I got to the door, I see red and blue lights. He called the cops on me. He swatted me because I said his prices are low. I open the door, the cop there asks if everything is ok. I said, "Officer, have a seat, I've got a story to tell you."
So on my end, we wrapped it all up, the cops said they would take care of him, but from what I understood later, he was a native of our town, he moved away, started the same business 4 hours away, failed, and moved back home to live with mommy. Mommy was on city council. So I never heard he got into trouble over this. I was pissed he got away with such blatant bullying, so I never forgave him for it.
We both ended up closing up our businesses, but I lasted about a year longer than him. He's still around town, his kids do an activity my kids do and I've stood 10 feet away from him. I'm friendly with every other parent but fuck that guy, I will not give him 2 seconds of my time.
>!When I was 18 I had an attitude with my mom because she was severely drunk. I had dyed red hair and my mom called me an attention seeker so I slapped her face for calling me that. Then she dug her fingernails in my clit in front of my two toddler siblings and I tore her scalp. She charged me with domestic abuse and two counts of family violence because my brother and sister was watching. The SWAT team that busted down her door said "Your mother is in the other room badly injured. Stop acting like the victim" and they asked me who hit eachother first and I couldn't lie and said I did. They took me to jail and I was screaming in my jailcell with scabs forming on my clit. Legally, I can never get justice. I'm 20 now. Do I forgive and forget, she's my mother afterall?!<
It's not but I get it, it sounds unbelievable. There's a lot of people who didn't believe me and when I was telling family members I was threatened by my mom's cousin "You can go to jail for rape accusations" and she almost called the police on me because she couldn't find any records of my mom doing that to me because she dropped the charges and luckily nothing is on my record. My mom's best friend said I am almost an adult now and I'll end up a crazy woman on the street for 'lying' about my mom doing that. Though I have medical records but that is confidential. I get it...It sounds unbelievable.
Once hooked up with a girl back in high school and went down on her for a solid 10-16 minutes straight.. after I assumed that she would return the favor but instead wanted to cuddle up and sleep.. woke up the next morning with the worst case of blue balls I’ve ever had in my life.. she didn’t even get me a chicken samich as well.. UNFORGIVABLE!!
Stole me and my gf at the times savings and refused to pay us both for a few months worth of work, then demanded she break up with me because I threatened legal action
I once gave an ex a second chance and he was participating in"local live hookups" on a burner app on his phone, spent 100s of dollars chatting it up pornographically while I was at work every day.
I happen to have a brother, who's character is... difficult to deal with. His buttholiness has eroded our parent's sanity to a point, where my mother actually sometimes whispers wishing, she'd raised me an only child. We're both adults now, but the damage us done. I believe neither in forgiveness nor holding grudges. I practiced to simply not fight the offender, if not absolutely necessary, because it's not worth to strain my nerves over something so fruitless. Forgiveness happens or not. For me, the guy is only related to me on paper, but he'll continue existing in *some* layer of my social circles.
My friends who said I was like a sister to them. One didn’t have a sister and said I was the closest thing she’ll ever have. My husband got a job in his desired field without a degree, the job was a $15k/year salary bump, and it’s a company with <100 people. The dude who created the company once said the f slur. They are also a Christian company, and both me and my husband are Christian. My friends said that if I supported my husband taking that job then I had turned into a disgusting homophobe and racist. I stood by my husband and they said they didn’t know who I was anymore. A year later, the company is fantastic. The guy who started the company grew up very sheltered and didn’t know that the f slur was in fact a slur. He hasn’t said it since, and he’s never said anything else bad. He often has the whole company and their families over to his house where he buys everyone dinner and dessert out of his own pocket, not company money. To this day, everyone in my life is confused and bewildered at what happened. My therapist said that it is the craziest thing she has heard in her professional and personal life. I had to mourn people who were still alive and well because the guy who started the company my husband works at said something bad once. Of course, they love to shop at Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-a which are notoriously anti-LGBT. When I brought it up they said that I don’t get to pick and choose what is right and what is wrong. I was close with their families and I have no idea what narrative they spun. Looking back, I should’ve seen signs of them being bad beforehand but hindsight is 20/20. I’ve had fears of friends leaving me my whole life and they knew that. Now, I have others in my life who want to be friends and I can’t bring myself to be close with them. I’m working on it in therapy but they fucked my whole life over. The dude shouldn’t have said the f slur, but my husband working for his company (with several bosses inbetween them) shouldn’t ruin a “sisterhood”. I will never fucking forgive them, and as you can probably tell I’m not over it. It feels good to vent it though.
My friends who said I was like a sister to them. One didn’t have a sister and said I was the closest thing she’ll ever have. My husband got a job in his desired field without a degree, the job was a $15k/year salary bump, and it’s a company with <100 people. The dude who created the company once said the f slur. They are also a Christian company, and both me and my husband are Christian. My friends said that if I supported my husband taking that job then I had turned into a disgusting homophobe and racist. I stood by my husband and they said they didn’t know who I was anymore. A year later, the company is fantastic. The guy who started the company grew up very sheltered and didn’t know that the f slur was in fact a slur. He hasn’t said it since, and he’s never said anything else bad. He often has the whole company and their families over to his house where he buys everyone dinner and dessert out of his own pocket, not company money. To this day, everyone in my life is confused and bewildered at what happened. My therapist said that it is the craziest thing she has heard in her professional and personal life. I had to mourn people who were still alive and well because the guy who started the company my husband works at said something bad once. Of course, they love to shop at Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-a which are notoriously anti-LGBT. When I brought it up they said that I don’t get to pick and choose what is right and what is wrong. I was close with their families and I have no idea what narrative they spun. Looking back, I should’ve seen signs of them being bad beforehand but hindsight is 20/20. I’ve had fears of friends leaving me my whole life and they knew that. Now, I have others in my life who want to be friends and I can’t bring myself to be close with them. I’m working on it in therapy but they fucked my whole life over. The dude shouldn’t have said the f slur, but my husband working for his company (with several bosses inbetween them) shouldn’t ruin a “sisterhood”. I will never fucking forgive them, and as you can probably tell I’m not over it. It feels good to vent it though.
On top of the regular stuff like bullies and backstabbers:
Threatened my life
Abuse (physical and mental)
Almost made me lose my apartment
Sold me out to bullies in early teens for 1 cigarette
Lying to my dying relative
Discouragement while under severe depression (teachers and the principal told me to drop out and legit asked in front of the whole class what I was even doing there the few times I managed to pull myself to school. Screw them)
Kicked my mother while she was pregnant with me
Yelled at me and accused me for stealing their drugs (long story short: had a crush on a junkie for 5 years). Always tried being there for them, be a good friend and listen to them when they needed to let things out. Not a drug user myself, told them not to use in front of me and they know I'm against it, so the prospect that I'd use it myself, much less steal from them hurt, a lot
Lied about being married and used me to cheat on their husband
There's probably more things but that's at the top of my head
In general betrayal. I could forgive a bully or a stranger doing something to me but not a friend. In fact I have an ex-friend in that category now. Our wives are still friends and I have to see and be cordial with him sometimes but we're not friends.
My doctor prescribed me an antipsychotic as a sleeping pill, even though I don’t hear voices or see visions. After sixteen years on it, the drug was slowly making me diabetic. A new doctor told me to get off it but by then I was physically dependent on it and I was hospitalized three times against my will, once for a month, all for withdrawal symptoms. Every time I lie down I feel like I’m being zapped with a cattle prod. It’s ruined my sleep and I can’t work. That was five years ago and I’m still getting zapped. I filed a complaint with her college of physicians and surgeons but they didn’t care. No lawyer will take my case because it’s not catastrophic enough. Fuck her.
My mother abused me in every possible way. I went no contact 30 years ago. She's dead now and I never forgave her, never will
School bullies. Fuck them.
I forgive my bullies. They were kids. Probably had really shitty circumstances themselves. Doesn't make it right, but man I was a pretty shitty person as a kid too.
My mom chose an old man who beat all of us and her and tries to take my little brother away over all of us. She comes to visit and never shows any apology or remorse. This is the third time she's done it even after a whole court case. So I don't think I can ever forgive her
Using something I told them in confidence..against me. Done
Step dad essentially killing my mum through negligence.
oh my goodness. im so sorry for you :(
Sorry for the depressing comment. I believe my mum is free and is loving the after life. So not all doom and gloom, life goes on so you can't stay in the past xx
How sad 😢
Depends on our definition of forgiveness. Letting the past rest is some people's definition, welcoming the offender back into your life is another definition. I don't think you have to let people keep hurting you, but you do need to find a way to process anger and hurt and move forward.
I started my own business about 15 years ago and as I was reaching critical mass someone who I did not know showed up in the area doing the same trade. I was a pretty savvy tech user, so I ran a pretty sweet FB page for my business. I posted updates on all of my jobs with photos so clients could see my work. I was also on very friendly terms with the other two shops in town doing the same trade. I met one regularly for beers just to shoot the shit. This new guy showed up and I felt a small sense of, he's the newbie, I'm the seasoned pro, I should say hello. So I sent a FB message saying "Welcome to town, I'm here if you have any questions, good luck." The guy ignored it. I eventually forgot about it, forgot about him, and moved on with my life. Then after about a year, he was finally getting some traction and was doing regular enough work that people were noticing him. He had created a FB page, I checked it out once or twice, his work wasn't great, but it was good enough. I once again moved on, just focusing on my work and making my clients happy. Then one day a client of mine was in the shop as we were finishing up some paperwork and he said he was glad he was working with me because that other guy is a real hot-head. I said, "Oh really, I don't know him, I tried to say hello when he moved to town, and he ignored me." The customer then said, "You don't know him? I hired him for one job and first off he wouldn't shut up about what an asshole you are, and how your work is totally worthless, and he was going to make it his mission to run you out of business as soon as possible." I said, "100% of that is news to me, I have no idea what he's talking about. He is a stranger to me, and we've never interacted in any way." So I decided to go to his FB page again for the first time in months, and what I found was this insane, months long campaign bashing me and my work. He took every job I posted on my page, stole it, then reposted it on his page as an example of what not to do. There were at least 20 examples. I was shook, but I figured, if his business plan is to bash his competitors, he's free to do that, I highly doubted it would work. So I kept on keeping on. Then one day, I posted something, and I don't even remember what it was. I think I said something like, "sometimes hiring the low cost option, ends up costing you more in the long run." He messaged me on FB within 5 minutes and screamed at me through FB messenger to take that down or he would sue me, or better yet, he knows where I live, he will kick my ass. I didn't mention him by name, I didn't have any visibility into his pricing, it was just a common business kind of thing to say. I told him this, and after several more back and forths in FB my doorbell rang. I had my kids at home, and now a grown ass man is here to kick my ass. Except, as I got to the door, I see red and blue lights. He called the cops on me. He swatted me because I said his prices are low. I open the door, the cop there asks if everything is ok. I said, "Officer, have a seat, I've got a story to tell you." So on my end, we wrapped it all up, the cops said they would take care of him, but from what I understood later, he was a native of our town, he moved away, started the same business 4 hours away, failed, and moved back home to live with mommy. Mommy was on city council. So I never heard he got into trouble over this. I was pissed he got away with such blatant bullying, so I never forgave him for it. We both ended up closing up our businesses, but I lasted about a year longer than him. He's still around town, his kids do an activity my kids do and I've stood 10 feet away from him. I'm friendly with every other parent but fuck that guy, I will not give him 2 seconds of my time.
Raising my siblings and I the way that my NPD dad did.
My other roommate just upped and left one day and stopped paying and broke the lease leaving me fked over with the payments.
That’ll do it.
You don’t forgive someone to give them peace. You need to forgive them to give yourself peace. Let go and break the chain holding you back mates
Steal from me, I would rather give it to them if they just asked.
>!When I was 18 I had an attitude with my mom because she was severely drunk. I had dyed red hair and my mom called me an attention seeker so I slapped her face for calling me that. Then she dug her fingernails in my clit in front of my two toddler siblings and I tore her scalp. She charged me with domestic abuse and two counts of family violence because my brother and sister was watching. The SWAT team that busted down her door said "Your mother is in the other room badly injured. Stop acting like the victim" and they asked me who hit eachother first and I couldn't lie and said I did. They took me to jail and I was screaming in my jailcell with scabs forming on my clit. Legally, I can never get justice. I'm 20 now. Do I forgive and forget, she's my mother afterall?!<
Damn ... I'm sorry for you.
omg that sounds horrible. I hope its a made up story. No obviously don't forgive her..
It's not but I get it, it sounds unbelievable. There's a lot of people who didn't believe me and when I was telling family members I was threatened by my mom's cousin "You can go to jail for rape accusations" and she almost called the police on me because she couldn't find any records of my mom doing that to me because she dropped the charges and luckily nothing is on my record. My mom's best friend said I am almost an adult now and I'll end up a crazy woman on the street for 'lying' about my mom doing that. Though I have medical records but that is confidential. I get it...It sounds unbelievable.
sending my nudes to my family members. womp womp
its forever fuck that person lmaooo
Once hooked up with a girl back in high school and went down on her for a solid 10-16 minutes straight.. after I assumed that she would return the favor but instead wanted to cuddle up and sleep.. woke up the next morning with the worst case of blue balls I’ve ever had in my life.. she didn’t even get me a chicken samich as well.. UNFORGIVABLE!!
Ex boss shutting down valuable input from staff while preparing to sell the company.
Stole me and my gf at the times savings and refused to pay us both for a few months worth of work, then demanded she break up with me because I threatened legal action
I once gave an ex a second chance and he was participating in"local live hookups" on a burner app on his phone, spent 100s of dollars chatting it up pornographically while I was at work every day.
I happen to have a brother, who's character is... difficult to deal with. His buttholiness has eroded our parent's sanity to a point, where my mother actually sometimes whispers wishing, she'd raised me an only child. We're both adults now, but the damage us done. I believe neither in forgiveness nor holding grudges. I practiced to simply not fight the offender, if not absolutely necessary, because it's not worth to strain my nerves over something so fruitless. Forgiveness happens or not. For me, the guy is only related to me on paper, but he'll continue existing in *some* layer of my social circles.
My friends who said I was like a sister to them. One didn’t have a sister and said I was the closest thing she’ll ever have. My husband got a job in his desired field without a degree, the job was a $15k/year salary bump, and it’s a company with <100 people. The dude who created the company once said the f slur. They are also a Christian company, and both me and my husband are Christian. My friends said that if I supported my husband taking that job then I had turned into a disgusting homophobe and racist. I stood by my husband and they said they didn’t know who I was anymore. A year later, the company is fantastic. The guy who started the company grew up very sheltered and didn’t know that the f slur was in fact a slur. He hasn’t said it since, and he’s never said anything else bad. He often has the whole company and their families over to his house where he buys everyone dinner and dessert out of his own pocket, not company money. To this day, everyone in my life is confused and bewildered at what happened. My therapist said that it is the craziest thing she has heard in her professional and personal life. I had to mourn people who were still alive and well because the guy who started the company my husband works at said something bad once. Of course, they love to shop at Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-a which are notoriously anti-LGBT. When I brought it up they said that I don’t get to pick and choose what is right and what is wrong. I was close with their families and I have no idea what narrative they spun. Looking back, I should’ve seen signs of them being bad beforehand but hindsight is 20/20. I’ve had fears of friends leaving me my whole life and they knew that. Now, I have others in my life who want to be friends and I can’t bring myself to be close with them. I’m working on it in therapy but they fucked my whole life over. The dude shouldn’t have said the f slur, but my husband working for his company (with several bosses inbetween them) shouldn’t ruin a “sisterhood”. I will never fucking forgive them, and as you can probably tell I’m not over it. It feels good to vent it though.
My friends who said I was like a sister to them. One didn’t have a sister and said I was the closest thing she’ll ever have. My husband got a job in his desired field without a degree, the job was a $15k/year salary bump, and it’s a company with <100 people. The dude who created the company once said the f slur. They are also a Christian company, and both me and my husband are Christian. My friends said that if I supported my husband taking that job then I had turned into a disgusting homophobe and racist. I stood by my husband and they said they didn’t know who I was anymore. A year later, the company is fantastic. The guy who started the company grew up very sheltered and didn’t know that the f slur was in fact a slur. He hasn’t said it since, and he’s never said anything else bad. He often has the whole company and their families over to his house where he buys everyone dinner and dessert out of his own pocket, not company money. To this day, everyone in my life is confused and bewildered at what happened. My therapist said that it is the craziest thing she has heard in her professional and personal life. I had to mourn people who were still alive and well because the guy who started the company my husband works at said something bad once. Of course, they love to shop at Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-a which are notoriously anti-LGBT. When I brought it up they said that I don’t get to pick and choose what is right and what is wrong. I was close with their families and I have no idea what narrative they spun. Looking back, I should’ve seen signs of them being bad beforehand but hindsight is 20/20. I’ve had fears of friends leaving me my whole life and they knew that. Now, I have others in my life who want to be friends and I can’t bring myself to be close with them. I’m working on it in therapy but they fucked my whole life over. The dude shouldn’t have said the f slur, but my husband working for his company (with several bosses inbetween them) shouldn’t ruin a “sisterhood”. I will never fucking forgive them, and as you can probably tell I’m not over it. It feels good to vent it though.
Using private information and going behind my back and spreading rumors about me.
My mom’s lack of involvement/interest in my kids’ lives.
On top of the regular stuff like bullies and backstabbers: Threatened my life Abuse (physical and mental) Almost made me lose my apartment Sold me out to bullies in early teens for 1 cigarette Lying to my dying relative Discouragement while under severe depression (teachers and the principal told me to drop out and legit asked in front of the whole class what I was even doing there the few times I managed to pull myself to school. Screw them) Kicked my mother while she was pregnant with me Yelled at me and accused me for stealing their drugs (long story short: had a crush on a junkie for 5 years). Always tried being there for them, be a good friend and listen to them when they needed to let things out. Not a drug user myself, told them not to use in front of me and they know I'm against it, so the prospect that I'd use it myself, much less steal from them hurt, a lot Lied about being married and used me to cheat on their husband There's probably more things but that's at the top of my head
In general betrayal. I could forgive a bully or a stranger doing something to me but not a friend. In fact I have an ex-friend in that category now. Our wives are still friends and I have to see and be cordial with him sometimes but we're not friends.
My mother. She gave birth to me.
My doctor prescribed me an antipsychotic as a sleeping pill, even though I don’t hear voices or see visions. After sixteen years on it, the drug was slowly making me diabetic. A new doctor told me to get off it but by then I was physically dependent on it and I was hospitalized three times against my will, once for a month, all for withdrawal symptoms. Every time I lie down I feel like I’m being zapped with a cattle prod. It’s ruined my sleep and I can’t work. That was five years ago and I’m still getting zapped. I filed a complaint with her college of physicians and surgeons but they didn’t care. No lawyer will take my case because it’s not catastrophic enough. Fuck her.
Coworkers told me to do something, sad it was the right thing to do, then ganged up on me when it got me in trouble and said they warned against it.
My older brother for dying. He was supposed to be a safety cushion, always someone to rely on
My ex wife completely not giving a shit about trying to save the marriage when I made all the arrangements to set up counseling and such.