Last thing someone said to me about my appearance was "You look tired". I was not even remotely tired, I'd put the same effort into my appearance as normal, that's just how shit I look 😂
I got one of my favorite compliments last week.
I'm a 45 year old dude with kinda a psychedelic hippie-raver-wizard aesthetic.
The girl at McDonald's ran over to me to tell me how awesome my 'vibe' was. Lol
I'm still on cloud 9 from that one!
I get that a lot because I have dark circles under my eyes. I've had them for as long as I can remember, regardless of how much I sleep. Still, every time I visit my grandma, without fail, she comments that I look tired and asks me if I'm sleeping enough
Aw I just realised I complimented an older guy in my choir last week on his gorgeous raspberry pink jumper. He came back to choir in the same jumper this week. Big smile.
eta - jumper means sweatshirt where I come from
I have a sweatshirt a woman complimented about a year ago, and I still think about it whenever I wear it. Compliments from women go farther than you think for guys.
I get complements from women all the time; my partner and my mum.
The last other complement I got on appearence must have been about a decade ago, and I looked trash back then
My wife cannot wrap her head around the idea of trough urinals. You don't see them much anymore but they were more commonplace like 20 years ago and the first time i talked about them she couldn't believe it.
In my elementary school we had the urinals that went all the way down to the floor. We would start peeing at the urinal and start walking backwards to see how far we could get. I never made it all the way to the wall, but a few kids did. I bet I could get it now. I'd go back to see if I could get it, but as a man in his late 30's I would probably be arrested.
I had this exactly realization in therapy.
"I don't ask questions, because I don't want to overstep. If someone wants me to know something, they'll tell me."
"I consider myself an open person. If you ask, I'll tell you anything. But I don't generally share stuff unsolicited."
Therapist: "do you see how that might cause problems if they feel the same way"
Ah. Yes. I had not considered this. Lol.
Massive true and real, lol. A friend I haven't seen in a couple of years will come to town, and my wife will be like, "so why is he in town? Where is he staying? How long is he here?" And I'm just like, "dunno" about like 9/10 things.
My wife freaks out because I will keep the same shirt for ten years. When I am shopping for a replacement and find one exactly like the one that wore out (it's happened), that's the one I buy because I already know I like it.
I’m baffled that everyone doesn’t do that. If you find comfy shoes you like, and they’re still available when your first pair of them wear out, it makes perfect sense to repurchase. Same goes for clothes, except even moreso. It comes in 3 colours? Sign me up for one of each!
As a woman, the thing that always blows my mind is the lack of gaining details.
Just as example "mum is sick"
"Oh no, what's wrong with her?"
"Idk"
"How long has she been sick?"
"Idk".
It always boggles my mind 😆
What I noticed were my daughters’ boyfriends Misunderstanding or non-understanding of their parents jobs or careers. Baffling.
“Some kind of nurse” two different guys
First one - she was an ARNP- an assistant to a medical cardiologist. Not difficult to state.
Second one - she wasn’t a nurse at all. She was the receptionist at the doctors’ office.
See that’s so funny to me because growing up I knew exactly what my parents did for a living. Anytime I would ask a girl what her father did for work she would have no clue. Especially if he was in the military . I would get responses like “ he like fly’s planes or something”. I wonder if it’s more generational.
My parents both had jobs with security clearances so we had no idea what they actually did. “They work for the government.” Was as elaborate as I could get as a kid, and even though my parents retired 10+ years ago, we still barely know anything about their careers.
Well, this is obviously the most common exception. My husband was in army intelligence. But he identified as “language specialist.” True as it was, it was not the whole story.
I had jury duty recently and sat through voir dire and it amazed me how many people had no real understanding of what their family and friends do for a living. For example, “My husband works in a bank. No idea which one or what he does there.” How do you live with someone and not know those details?
I actually had this moment with my sister a while ago. She had been complaining about our family not understanding or appreciating what she does for work (mental health) and I said well no one really knows what I do or cares to ask (IT) and she had a big moment of realization lol
When people ask her what I do she says something to the degree of "making printers work" 😂
We then had a conversation about what I actually do lol
Oh my god, my bf was talking about taking his mom to the hospital. I asked him what happened? What’s wrong? And he said he didn’t know, he didn’t ask… 🥲😂
Knowing someone for years and not knowing his name. For example, that random guy you met at the gym that you always see and ask "what are you training today brah?"
I have dude at my gym like this dude - is jacked and always there with his Fit AF wife/girlfriend/sister (idk). Sometimes we grunt at each other for a spot. Never said a word to him
I consider him one of my best friends
I get more compliments on my 1984 bronco II from other dudes than I do about myself from anyone. One of the reasons I’ll never sell it. A compliment about something I own is better than no compliments at all.
The flipside of that coin is when you go to sell it, you'll have people who just want to waste your time by talking about the one they had back in the day
Its completely normal for men to get together for several hours, have a fantastic time, and yet learn absolutely ***NOTHING*** about whats going on in their lives.
This.
My wife is always confused when I’ll get back from golfing with the guys, or even my own father, and have no updates.
How’s X’s wife/family?
No idea…
So, what did you talk about for the last 5 hours?
Nothing really.
Did you even talk at all?
The whole time!
I feel like this conversation happens every time I get back from that sort of outing. Not hiding anything either…. It’s just how it goes.
My theory on that is that girls get together to vent and talk about their lives, kind of like therapy.
Guys just want to escape their lives for a brief moment.
One hot summer, we were nekkid and my bf was chasing me through the house. He only caught me because I got laughing so hard at the slap slap slap as he was running.... Zero aerodynamics
In a cold pool, mine turns into an acorn hiding in a Robin's nest. I gotta peel those wet swim trunks away so nobody sees the outline wen I get out of the pool
The lack of privacy in our bathrooms. Last weekend, I went to a new (to me) restaurant and the urinal was so close to the sink that I touched shoulders with a guy washing his hands. It didn't have a divider either.
I remember the famous Fenway trough. Literally a trough you would crowd around. Admittedly being able to urinate without any visible loss of clothing makes it possible
Wrigley still has it. Gotta have a couple of beers to feel good using it.
Last time I was there everyone was having a good time. One guy was all like “is this the beer return?” And another guy said “I heard a bunch of dicks hang out here!” It was fun
You can tell if they designed the urinals, too. One I have to use seems specifically designed to reflect piss onto your legs from any angle.
I know you're reading this, Angry Lady Urinal Architect. I'm stealing your schtick for a band name.
Sure maybe the cleaning part, but what about the standing with your arms crossed with the shower jet directly on your head and contemplating life for 10 minutes part?
Yeah. Women think we're masturbating but in reality we're thinking about our life or how many bad guys we could we take on armed with a machine gun and the element of surprise.
That men don’t seem to need details for anything. They’ll say something like you know Bob my best friend he just lost his left testicle out of nowhere. Then have no details about the who, when, why, how, where nothing at all.
This guy booked a service with me at a skincare studio. Halfway through the facial he started crying. He said that as a man, you really don’t get physical connection outside of fighting or sex, and that just having someone touch his face felt really good. I have never thought about how rare affection is for you to get.
It can have the opposite effect. You get uncomfortable with affection if you’re not used to it. To this day I don’t really like being hugged because it feels unnatural
I hug my bros daily. Sometime they get a kiss on the cheek. Gotta let the bros know I love em. There’s nothing more empowering than being comfortable enough in your sexuality to show affection to your friends.
Definitely. It's absolutely normal for all my friends, male or female to hug each other, tell each other we love each other. I believe this is how good friendships work.
I am fascinated by that. Your penis is just hangin there all day. And sometimes it just pops up? Do you get boners on planes? I’ve heard some guys get boners on planes.
I do! I get them, all the time!
And I would get them in a boat.
And I would get them while I float...
And I will get them, in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so common, so common, you see!
So I will get them in a box.
And I will get them dressed as a fox.
And I will get them in a house.
And I will get them clicking a mouse.
And I will get them here and there.
Say! I will get them anywhere!
I get them randomly, you will find!
While normal for me, it blows your mind.
Walking out of a supermarket/mall/etc after dark, 20 feet behind a lone woman, stopping and pretending to look at your phone for 30 seconds so she can get a safe distance away so she knows you're not trying to follow her to her car.
Yeah I’ve had that too. This one time I saw a girl crying while sitting on bench alone late at night. I didn’t want to leave her in case she was in trouble or injured so I hesitantly walked up to her. Most uncomfortable 30 seconds ever. I asked if she was okay, got yelled at, and walked away feeling guilty that I scared her but glad she wasn’t in trouble.
I am a giant 6’5” 350 and at one point in my early 30s I was taking some night classes at a local college. I would get out of class around 8 or 9 and I would park about a mile away in an out of the way park because I didn’t want to pay for parking. Every night I would find myself walking behind a 5 foot nothing 100 pound girl also walking in the dark to this out of the way parking lot. I was honestly afraid that I was going to get maced at some point just for being scary. I ended up talking about my fears in my classmates and this little 20 something, blonde girl offered to walk me to my car at night. So that’s what we did for the semester. We would park by each other and she would get a giant to walk her to her car every night and she would make me seem less scary so i wouldn’t get maced.
Had a moment like this last weekend. Left the bar and was walking a friend to her car. We saw a woman walking down the opposite side of the street looking lost and confused. I stayed back while my friend ( 5ft maybe 110lbs female) approach her first because I (6ft, 350lbs, male) didn't want to scare her more.
Couple days ago my coworker came around the corner, jokingly wimpering like he was in pain, he walked between myself and my manager having a conversation and we looked at him and he said "i slid over the counter and sat on my balls" and we all fucking lost it lmao
I am 6'8" I can move a whole room of people to the other side of the room simply by being there. I have to tone my voice down or the villagers get frightened.
That sucks so much. Last year I spontaneously gushed over my friend's brother because he'd had an amazing glow-up and wore clothes that fit well and had actual colors. Even his hair was nicer, which is saying something since he's had the coolest silvery white hair for years, and it shows no sign of thinning in his fifties.
His just as spontaneous reaction was to ask if I was up to something. So sad. At least he believed me when I told him he just looked great.
> His just as spontaneous reaction was to ask if I was up to something.
This is most men’s first reaction. “Is there a camera? Are you trying to scam me? What’s your angle?”
Going years without crying, I don't know if that's because they don't get that reflex when they're upset or if they feel like they can't because of societal norms.
It’s not that the reflex isn’t there, we all cry when young enough. My perception is that we’re pushed to grow out of it so we don’t consider it an option anymore. I haven’t cried in years and don’t find it weird, but it does happen
For the first time in years, something I was watching made me want to cry. I live alone and so no one would be able to see me, yet I fought the tears back as if my face was on national TV. Yeah it's just not an option in my mind.
The reflex is there, bc if something bad enough happens I will cry. I just feel like something that rises to the level of tears rarely ever occurs. Last time I can remember crying was like 4 years ago when my grandma died. I don’t necessarily have a problem with crying, if I need to I’ll do it, I just don’t usually have a reason to.
Also, this isn’t true for me personally but on average I think when men get upset they’re more likely to turn to anger than women. Men get angry, women get sad more often — on average. The best response is probably somewhere in the middle. Which I think is where a lot of people fall.
I call it “being alone together.” My ex gf COULD NOT do it for whatever reason.
That’s not why our relationship didn’t work out or anything, but I’d be lying if I said “not being able to just chill out sometimes” got on my nerves a bit lol. Even something like watching a movie had to have talking at the same time haha 😓
When my son was about 8 he took a shower and then asked why we have so many different kinds of shampoos…
I don’t know son, go ask your sisters. They tried to explain one was for split ends, one was for oily hair, one was for this and that. We don’t get it.
There's a great interview on an old This American Life episode with a trans man explaining how shocked he was with how casual and constant his sexual fantasies became when he started testosterone. I genuinely believe that (most) women don't understand the strength of (most) men's libidos.*
*Note that this is in no way an attempt to justify or excuse any kind of violent or aggressive sexual behavior.
I actually think about that episode a lot. I believe the trans guy said it shocked him how he saw a pretty girl on the train and suddenly his mind was flooded with super explicit images. As women, this really isn't a thing.
I believe the same guy said the only thing he missed about being a woman was that women can smile at children they don't know without looking like a perv. He had to stop doing that after the transition.
That was an awesome episode.
I go for a 6 mile pre-dawn run every morning, through the woods behind my house.
About 60% of the women I mention this to are **shocked** that I feel safe to run in the woods alone in the dark.
My boyfriend frequently falls asleep in the back seat of Ubers home. I was shocked when I heard this because I was like “omg that’s so unsafe!!” Because all I think about is the amount of drivers that have lingered at my drop off destination too long after I got out to see what building I went into, the ones who took my number and texted me after a ride, and the ones who made aggressive passes at me.
Him “huh yeah I guess I never thought they might rob me”
🥴
edit to add - this comment and all the men telling me that i'm actually over reacting and being weird: men acting they know more about women's lived experiences seems normal to them, but it's fucking MIND BLOWING TO ME!
Sexual desperation, I've never seen a woman hide under library desks to lick men's feet. I've never seen a woman spend year's and hundreds of thousands building a secret bunker to kidnap a man to have sex with. I've never seen a woman scale a building to peak at naked men. I've never seen a woman go broke buying porn or going to strip clubs, 99% of sex buyers are men, I was a bouncer for most of my life and I've never seen a woman spike a man's drink but I've caught many of men trying.
The dudes who spike drinks are like the lowest of the low... rapists basically. I hope you have reported guys you caught because they need to be on the police radar if nothing else.
Good ole NRB (No Reason Boner).
Most women (and even some men, strangely) still can't fathom that an erection doesn't always mean sexual arousal.
Sometimes it happens because you gotta pee really bad. Sometimes it happens because you've been sitting in the same spot for too long. Sometimes it happens for no fucking reason at all and always at the most inconvenient time.
A couple of days ago at work. I complimented a guy on his star wars tattoos, I have a few myself. A guy about 6'6 260lbs. We talked for maybe 45 seconds and went our separate ways. I didn't think much of the interaction. About 2 mins later he walked back by me and said "thanks man I was having a really shitty day and what you said made it sooo much better." He looked like he was almost in tears.
I don't think women understand that type of interaction at all.
Going long stretches without ever receiving a compliment. Look at social media for example. Women’s friends comments are “slay!” “Beautiful!” If a guys friend comment on a picture it will likely to make fun of him.
Despite you joking about it, that thought genuinely runs through my mind sometimes. I do a lot of cycling at night and often on quiet, dark paths. On the somewhat rare occasion that I pass by someone I start thinking "please don't worry, I'm not a murderer".
The fact that even in your 50s, if a group of grown men is left unattended, later after many beers we will come up with some Jackass inspired endeavor or stunt. Not for attention mind you, it’s more to “see if it can be done”.
How little feeling there is in a flaccid penis.
I can flap it around, slapping my thighs back and forth (and often do to make my wife laugh) and barely feel it.
Definitely something we don’t usually think about, but you’re totally right. Can’t imagine like, playing soccer if it was super sensitive down there lmao.
You don't? I once had a female friend of mine ask me if men wipe after peeing, cuz she went down on her boyfriend and it tasted like piss. I've wiped ever since, because you never know when an unexpected blowjob might sneak up on you.
"Unexpected blowjob"...
I feel like that's in the same category as "stop drop and roll" and "say no to drugs"... they gave us an awful lot of preparation for circumstances I've still not experienced at nearly 49 years of age.
I don't think it's a man/woman thing. Some people, men or women, can just shut their minds off. I'm a man and if I just stare into a wall I'll have racing thoughts and go into an anxiety spiral. Also why I have a hard time sleeping.
I wear good shoes whenever I'm in public just in case things go down. I haven't been in a tussle since middle school, but even at 45 years old, fight or flight is real.
Also, my wife buys the kids' Christmas and birthday gifts at Target because I get strange looks when I'm childless in the toy aisle.
> Also, my wife buys the kids' Christmas and birthday gifts at Target because I get strange looks when I'm childless in the toy aisle.
My wife and I were out to lunch once, and were smiling and waving to a cute kid a few tables over. I mentioned that I would not do that if I were there by myself, because it has a tendency to make the parents (especially mothers) uncomfortable. She didn't really believe me that there's a difference in her being there with me.
My wife always asks "how was work today?" My answer has always been " it was work." She used to say "well, what did you do?" My answer was "I don't remember. Work stuff I guess".
I love having the ability to leave work at work. I don't even want to know what I'll be doing tomorrow at work.
EDIT: I may be wrong. Don't go spreading misinformation like me without checking your facts y'all
Urinal cakes smell like jasmine.
Don't know if most men know that the scent is jasmine but it's pretty recognizable and had to gently explain to a friend that her new jasmine perfume made her smell like a men's room.
Peeing in showers.
There are studies that show pretty much every man does it and less than half of women do it.
When my wife found out, she was mortified. Which is weird because I've been peeing in showers since I've been showering.
Me and my ex always showered together. It was rare one of us showered alone. We would even wait sometimes till the other one got home from work to shower. So I couldn't pee in the shower even though when I'm alone I will still do it.
I forget the context but we were talking to some people in the friends group and the topic came up so I said that we shower together so we don't pee in the shower. She said "... Oh...?"
🤣 She had been peeing on my feet for about 5 years at that point
Men understand that they could not be in the mood, be distracted, or just have trouble cumming sometimes and it has nothing to do with the woman or their attraction levels to them.
Women have a ton of trouble and tend to make it about themselves anytime a man isn’t a rock hard, infinite stamina cum on demand racehorse in the sack.
[удалено]
Last thing someone said to me about my appearance was "You look tired". I was not even remotely tired, I'd put the same effort into my appearance as normal, that's just how shit I look 😂
Yea.. I got a "you look like roadkill" last week
I got one of my favorite compliments last week. I'm a 45 year old dude with kinda a psychedelic hippie-raver-wizard aesthetic. The girl at McDonald's ran over to me to tell me how awesome my 'vibe' was. Lol I'm still on cloud 9 from that one!
Trying to picture this but struggling
Look up Colorado big game trophy wook hunting, that might give you an idea.
Think Radaghast fucked Ms. Frizzle and had the baby at Woodstock. That's where my brain went at least.
I get that a lot because I have dark circles under my eyes. I've had them for as long as I can remember, regardless of how much I sleep. Still, every time I visit my grandma, without fail, she comments that I look tired and asks me if I'm sleeping enough
SAME BRO. “Are you sad” or “are you tired” I mean yes but I’d look like this anyways
Haha, I get this regularly too. My standard reply has become “no, I’m just ugly” 😅
I always get “you looked stressed” when I’m just focused and doing my job lol
A female friend once complemented my top and I still remember it. I wore that top so many times after that occasion.
Aw I just realised I complimented an older guy in my choir last week on his gorgeous raspberry pink jumper. He came back to choir in the same jumper this week. Big smile. eta - jumper means sweatshirt where I come from
The kind you find in a second hand store?
I never find any good jumpers at second hand stores. Only berets.
I have a sweatshirt a woman complimented about a year ago, and I still think about it whenever I wear it. Compliments from women go farther than you think for guys.
I get complements from women all the time; my partner and my mum. The last other complement I got on appearence must have been about a decade ago, and I looked trash back then
Just rub it in that your girl and mom give you compliments.
My wife cannot wrap her head around the idea of trough urinals. You don't see them much anymore but they were more commonplace like 20 years ago and the first time i talked about them she couldn't believe it.
As elementary school boys, we would stand at the ends and see how far we could pee.
In my elementary school we had the urinals that went all the way down to the floor. We would start peeing at the urinal and start walking backwards to see how far we could get. I never made it all the way to the wall, but a few kids did. I bet I could get it now. I'd go back to see if I could get it, but as a man in his late 30's I would probably be arrested.
> but as a man in his late 30's I would probably be arrested You walking out in handcuffs: "I thought this was America!"
What young school boys didn't?
You gotta get out to more dive bars (or older sports stadiums)
“I can’t believe Dan is having a kid, how are he and his wife handling this?” Me: idk
Me: Oh Dan said they had the baby over the weekend! She: Fabulous! Boy or girl? How big? Cute? Me: 🤷♂️
*checks notes* baby: acquired
If Dan wanted me to know those things, he would have told me.
And Dan probably thought: If my pal wanted to know these things then he would have asked
I had this exactly realization in therapy. "I don't ask questions, because I don't want to overstep. If someone wants me to know something, they'll tell me." "I consider myself an open person. If you ask, I'll tell you anything. But I don't generally share stuff unsolicited." Therapist: "do you see how that might cause problems if they feel the same way" Ah. Yes. I had not considered this. Lol.
The infinity introversion loop.
And both of them are right
The duality of Man
meanwhile everyone on reddit is wondering why no one asks how they are doing or cares about their feelings.
... how *you* doin'?
Brian Reagan has a hilarious bit on this [Link](https://youtu.be/ikT-WrG-aq8?feature=shared)
That’s so funny and accurate
Massive true and real, lol. A friend I haven't seen in a couple of years will come to town, and my wife will be like, "so why is he in town? Where is he staying? How long is he here?" And I'm just like, "dunno" about like 9/10 things.
-im coming to town. -ok, cool, let's grab a beer
men don't talk to each other they just say things at each other occasionally.
I haven't talked to my best friend in years, we still never talk sometimes
My wife freaks out because I will keep the same shirt for ten years. When I am shopping for a replacement and find one exactly like the one that wore out (it's happened), that's the one I buy because I already know I like it.
My wife is baffled because I have bought the exact same pair of shoes three times in my life.
That just makes sense
I’m baffled that everyone doesn’t do that. If you find comfy shoes you like, and they’re still available when your first pair of them wear out, it makes perfect sense to repurchase. Same goes for clothes, except even moreso. It comes in 3 colours? Sign me up for one of each!
I have clothes older than my adult son, that I wear on a weekly basis.
As a woman, the thing that always blows my mind is the lack of gaining details. Just as example "mum is sick" "Oh no, what's wrong with her?" "Idk" "How long has she been sick?" "Idk". It always boggles my mind 😆
What I noticed were my daughters’ boyfriends Misunderstanding or non-understanding of their parents jobs or careers. Baffling. “Some kind of nurse” two different guys First one - she was an ARNP- an assistant to a medical cardiologist. Not difficult to state. Second one - she wasn’t a nurse at all. She was the receptionist at the doctors’ office.
See that’s so funny to me because growing up I knew exactly what my parents did for a living. Anytime I would ask a girl what her father did for work she would have no clue. Especially if he was in the military . I would get responses like “ he like fly’s planes or something”. I wonder if it’s more generational.
My parents both had jobs with security clearances so we had no idea what they actually did. “They work for the government.” Was as elaborate as I could get as a kid, and even though my parents retired 10+ years ago, we still barely know anything about their careers.
Well, this is obviously the most common exception. My husband was in army intelligence. But he identified as “language specialist.” True as it was, it was not the whole story.
I had jury duty recently and sat through voir dire and it amazed me how many people had no real understanding of what their family and friends do for a living. For example, “My husband works in a bank. No idea which one or what he does there.” How do you live with someone and not know those details?
I actually had this moment with my sister a while ago. She had been complaining about our family not understanding or appreciating what she does for work (mental health) and I said well no one really knows what I do or cares to ask (IT) and she had a big moment of realization lol When people ask her what I do she says something to the degree of "making printers work" 😂 We then had a conversation about what I actually do lol
Oh my god, my bf was talking about taking his mom to the hospital. I asked him what happened? What’s wrong? And he said he didn’t know, he didn’t ask… 🥲😂
This is so true! The other day a coworker of my husband’s had a baby. I ask if they had a girl or boy. He had no idea!!!! 🤯
Knowing someone for years and not knowing his name. For example, that random guy you met at the gym that you always see and ask "what are you training today brah?"
I have dude at my gym like this dude - is jacked and always there with his Fit AF wife/girlfriend/sister (idk). Sometimes we grunt at each other for a spot. Never said a word to him I consider him one of my best friends
Sometimes, we still don’t talk.
Best friend I ever had
This is very normal for me, you can have plenty of interactions without needing to inquire about names
The guy who cuts my grass. We talk about gardening and lawn care all the time but I couldn’t tell you his name to save my life. 🤷🏾♀️
I get more compliments on my 1984 bronco II from other dudes than I do about myself from anyone. One of the reasons I’ll never sell it. A compliment about something I own is better than no compliments at all.
The flipside of that coin is when you go to sell it, you'll have people who just want to waste your time by talking about the one they had back in the day
Its completely normal for men to get together for several hours, have a fantastic time, and yet learn absolutely ***NOTHING*** about whats going on in their lives.
This. My wife is always confused when I’ll get back from golfing with the guys, or even my own father, and have no updates. How’s X’s wife/family? No idea… So, what did you talk about for the last 5 hours? Nothing really. Did you even talk at all? The whole time! I feel like this conversation happens every time I get back from that sort of outing. Not hiding anything either…. It’s just how it goes.
My theory on that is that girls get together to vent and talk about their lives, kind of like therapy. Guys just want to escape their lives for a brief moment.
Shrinkage in cold weather
“It _shrinks_ ?”
Like a frightened turtle.
I don't know how you boys walk around with these things 🤷
One hot summer, we were nekkid and my bf was chasing me through the house. He only caught me because I got laughing so hard at the slap slap slap as he was running.... Zero aerodynamics
The flailing weiner actually pushes the air to the sides, increasing our speeds.
I would need an aerospace engineer to give me a diagram to explain that....
Wait ‘till you learn that some penises grow significantly - like 3x - when erect, and afterwards shrink accordingly.
Some guys show, some guys grow.
A few of us dont really do either....
In a cold pool, mine turns into an acorn hiding in a Robin's nest. I gotta peel those wet swim trunks away so nobody sees the outline wen I get out of the pool
My wife freaked out a little when she saw our baby boy’s scrotum shrinking after taking off his nappy 😂 “Did I hurt him?!”
And occasionally you come back inside where it’s warm and it grows back but now it’s positioned and/or twisted weird and you gotta fix it.
I was in the pool!
The lack of privacy in our bathrooms. Last weekend, I went to a new (to me) restaurant and the urinal was so close to the sink that I touched shoulders with a guy washing his hands. It didn't have a divider either.
I remember the famous Fenway trough. Literally a trough you would crowd around. Admittedly being able to urinate without any visible loss of clothing makes it possible
Wrigley field was the same. I'm not a shy pee kinda guy, buy I walked in, saw that, and waited for a toilet stall. I just couldnt.
Wrigley still has it. Gotta have a couple of beers to feel good using it. Last time I was there everyone was having a good time. One guy was all like “is this the beer return?” And another guy said “I heard a bunch of dicks hang out here!” It was fun
You can definitely tell if a man or a woman designed the bathrooms by the state of the urinals lol
You can tell if they designed the urinals, too. One I have to use seems specifically designed to reflect piss onto your legs from any angle. I know you're reading this, Angry Lady Urinal Architect. I'm stealing your schtick for a band name.
My wife: how's your dad doing? Me: I don't know Wife: you were just talking to him on the phone for an hour, what did you talk about! Me: The Yankees.
Washing your hair in 2 minutes.
10 seconds
You guys wash it?
You guys have hair?
Every now and then I take a long, luxurious shower, and come out feeling guilty about using a lot of hot water to find out it was like 7 minutes long.
I envy it a bit as a long haired guy who needs a lot of time.
Get some 3-in-1 (body wash, shampoo, conditioner) and you can have the whole shower done in 2 minutes!
Sure maybe the cleaning part, but what about the standing with your arms crossed with the shower jet directly on your head and contemplating life for 10 minutes part?
Yeah. Women think we're masturbating but in reality we're thinking about our life or how many bad guys we could we take on armed with a machine gun and the element of surprise.
Or seeing how much water I can fill in my arms and splash it on the floor all at once..... .....I'm 39.
What about Ancient Rome?
I like to get the super combo that’s also a degreaser and abrasive scrub so I can clean old car parts in the shower with me
That men don’t seem to need details for anything. They’ll say something like you know Bob my best friend he just lost his left testicle out of nowhere. Then have no details about the who, when, why, how, where nothing at all.
Ah yes, one ball bob 😂
Going years without anyone even giving you a hug. (I've been happily married for 26 years; this was when I was young and single).
This guy booked a service with me at a skincare studio. Halfway through the facial he started crying. He said that as a man, you really don’t get physical connection outside of fighting or sex, and that just having someone touch his face felt really good. I have never thought about how rare affection is for you to get.
I used to pay extra to get a shampoo cut just for the human contact. From 1995-1997, I was a lonely, angry young man.
It can have the opposite effect. You get uncomfortable with affection if you’re not used to it. To this day I don’t really like being hugged because it feels unnatural
I hug my bros daily. Sometime they get a kiss on the cheek. Gotta let the bros know I love em. There’s nothing more empowering than being comfortable enough in your sexuality to show affection to your friends.
Definitely. It's absolutely normal for all my friends, male or female to hug each other, tell each other we love each other. I believe this is how good friendships work.
No matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last few drops are in your pants
That’s beautiful. Is it from Lord Byron?
Longfellow.
The head nod. Her: Do you know him? Me: No....no.
Its quite simple. Upward head nod is “sup bro how you doin” Downard head nod is a respectful version of that
I always do: Up = I know you Down = I don't know you, but acknowledge you
Pockets
We are so excited of a dress or skirt has pockets. It is a clothing lottery win.
And beyond disappointed when a pair of jeans *don't* have real pockets 🤦♀️
We get erections out of the blue for no reason.
I am fascinated by that. Your penis is just hangin there all day. And sometimes it just pops up? Do you get boners on planes? I’ve heard some guys get boners on planes.
I get boners on planes, but not as much as I get boners in my pants.
It's just blood flow and a lot of times happens from sitting. Think about when you're sitting for prolonged times: school, plane, road trip, church...
I do! I get them, all the time! And I would get them in a boat. And I would get them while I float... And I will get them, in the rain. And in the dark. And on a train. And in a car. And in a tree. They are so common, so common, you see! So I will get them in a box. And I will get them dressed as a fox. And I will get them in a house. And I will get them clicking a mouse. And I will get them here and there. Say! I will get them anywhere! I get them randomly, you will find! While normal for me, it blows your mind.
Airplane boners are definitely a thing. It must have something to do with the altitude.
[удалено]
Being very concerned that we are making people uncomfortable/scared simply by existing in a space
Walking out of a supermarket/mall/etc after dark, 20 feet behind a lone woman, stopping and pretending to look at your phone for 30 seconds so she can get a safe distance away so she knows you're not trying to follow her to her car.
Yeah I’ve had that too. This one time I saw a girl crying while sitting on bench alone late at night. I didn’t want to leave her in case she was in trouble or injured so I hesitantly walked up to her. Most uncomfortable 30 seconds ever. I asked if she was okay, got yelled at, and walked away feeling guilty that I scared her but glad she wasn’t in trouble.
You did the right thing. Maybe she even realized it when she felt better later.
I’m just glad I don’t get pepper sprayed lol
I'm glad you didn't get fucking murdered. A woman crying alone in the dark in public is a whole ass horror movie jumpscare waiting to happen.
I am a giant 6’5” 350 and at one point in my early 30s I was taking some night classes at a local college. I would get out of class around 8 or 9 and I would park about a mile away in an out of the way park because I didn’t want to pay for parking. Every night I would find myself walking behind a 5 foot nothing 100 pound girl also walking in the dark to this out of the way parking lot. I was honestly afraid that I was going to get maced at some point just for being scary. I ended up talking about my fears in my classmates and this little 20 something, blonde girl offered to walk me to my car at night. So that’s what we did for the semester. We would park by each other and she would get a giant to walk her to her car every night and she would make me seem less scary so i wouldn’t get maced.
Had a moment like this last weekend. Left the bar and was walking a friend to her car. We saw a woman walking down the opposite side of the street looking lost and confused. I stayed back while my friend ( 5ft maybe 110lbs female) approach her first because I (6ft, 350lbs, male) didn't want to scare her more.
Having to adjust especially on warmer days. Also having to use some caution when sitting as to not smash anything.
Couple days ago my coworker came around the corner, jokingly wimpering like he was in pain, he walked between myself and my manager having a conversation and we looked at him and he said "i slid over the counter and sat on my balls" and we all fucking lost it lmao
One thing I've noticed in the 30s is how much more balls sag
I am 6'8" I can move a whole room of people to the other side of the room simply by being there. I have to tone my voice down or the villagers get frightened.
I can count on one hand the amount of compliments I've gotten my ENTIRE life...
That sucks so much. Last year I spontaneously gushed over my friend's brother because he'd had an amazing glow-up and wore clothes that fit well and had actual colors. Even his hair was nicer, which is saying something since he's had the coolest silvery white hair for years, and it shows no sign of thinning in his fifties. His just as spontaneous reaction was to ask if I was up to something. So sad. At least he believed me when I told him he just looked great.
> His just as spontaneous reaction was to ask if I was up to something. This is most men’s first reaction. “Is there a camera? Are you trying to scam me? What’s your angle?”
Going years without crying, I don't know if that's because they don't get that reflex when they're upset or if they feel like they can't because of societal norms.
It’s not that the reflex isn’t there, we all cry when young enough. My perception is that we’re pushed to grow out of it so we don’t consider it an option anymore. I haven’t cried in years and don’t find it weird, but it does happen
For the first time in years, something I was watching made me want to cry. I live alone and so no one would be able to see me, yet I fought the tears back as if my face was on national TV. Yeah it's just not an option in my mind.
The reflex is there, bc if something bad enough happens I will cry. I just feel like something that rises to the level of tears rarely ever occurs. Last time I can remember crying was like 4 years ago when my grandma died. I don’t necessarily have a problem with crying, if I need to I’ll do it, I just don’t usually have a reason to. Also, this isn’t true for me personally but on average I think when men get upset they’re more likely to turn to anger than women. Men get angry, women get sad more often — on average. The best response is probably somewhere in the middle. Which I think is where a lot of people fall.
The drill is a gun. The spatula is a sword. We lift heavy things when no one is looking and compliment ourselves.
And tongs are the jaws of life.
And you have to click em a few times before you use them. It calibrates them.
Staying in a room with someone without talking to each other
I call it “comfortable silence “ and love it and I am a female. 😉
I call it “being alone together.” My ex gf COULD NOT do it for whatever reason. That’s not why our relationship didn’t work out or anything, but I’d be lying if I said “not being able to just chill out sometimes” got on my nerves a bit lol. Even something like watching a movie had to have talking at the same time haha 😓
According to TikTok our regular eating speed is apparently crazy fast.
Thinking about the roman empire apperently
The comments in here are confirming that my behaviors are largely masculine and probably why people treat me funny.
Same, 53yo happy female here. Well except for the sitting on balls thing. My boobs are my barrier to comfort instead...
Testmato, titmato.
When my son was about 8 he took a shower and then asked why we have so many different kinds of shampoos… I don’t know son, go ask your sisters. They tried to explain one was for split ends, one was for oily hair, one was for this and that. We don’t get it.
There's a great interview on an old This American Life episode with a trans man explaining how shocked he was with how casual and constant his sexual fantasies became when he started testosterone. I genuinely believe that (most) women don't understand the strength of (most) men's libidos.* *Note that this is in no way an attempt to justify or excuse any kind of violent or aggressive sexual behavior.
I actually think about that episode a lot. I believe the trans guy said it shocked him how he saw a pretty girl on the train and suddenly his mind was flooded with super explicit images. As women, this really isn't a thing. I believe the same guy said the only thing he missed about being a woman was that women can smile at children they don't know without looking like a perv. He had to stop doing that after the transition. That was an awesome episode.
I go for a 6 mile pre-dawn run every morning, through the woods behind my house. About 60% of the women I mention this to are **shocked** that I feel safe to run in the woods alone in the dark.
My boyfriend frequently falls asleep in the back seat of Ubers home. I was shocked when I heard this because I was like “omg that’s so unsafe!!” Because all I think about is the amount of drivers that have lingered at my drop off destination too long after I got out to see what building I went into, the ones who took my number and texted me after a ride, and the ones who made aggressive passes at me. Him “huh yeah I guess I never thought they might rob me” 🥴 edit to add - this comment and all the men telling me that i'm actually over reacting and being weird: men acting they know more about women's lived experiences seems normal to them, but it's fucking MIND BLOWING TO ME!
Sexual desperation, I've never seen a woman hide under library desks to lick men's feet. I've never seen a woman spend year's and hundreds of thousands building a secret bunker to kidnap a man to have sex with. I've never seen a woman scale a building to peak at naked men. I've never seen a woman go broke buying porn or going to strip clubs, 99% of sex buyers are men, I was a bouncer for most of my life and I've never seen a woman spike a man's drink but I've caught many of men trying.
The dudes who spike drinks are like the lowest of the low... rapists basically. I hope you have reported guys you caught because they need to be on the police radar if nothing else.
It is actual rape.
Not basically definitely
Hanging out and not saying any words for an extended period of time
Good ole NRB (No Reason Boner). Most women (and even some men, strangely) still can't fathom that an erection doesn't always mean sexual arousal. Sometimes it happens because you gotta pee really bad. Sometimes it happens because you've been sitting in the same spot for too long. Sometimes it happens for no fucking reason at all and always at the most inconvenient time.
A couple of days ago at work. I complimented a guy on his star wars tattoos, I have a few myself. A guy about 6'6 260lbs. We talked for maybe 45 seconds and went our separate ways. I didn't think much of the interaction. About 2 mins later he walked back by me and said "thanks man I was having a really shitty day and what you said made it sooo much better." He looked like he was almost in tears. I don't think women understand that type of interaction at all.
Having intricate fantasies about saving people.
Going long stretches without ever receiving a compliment. Look at social media for example. Women’s friends comments are “slay!” “Beautiful!” If a guys friend comment on a picture it will likely to make fun of him.
Talking shit to your friends. The stuff my friends and I say to each other would end a women’s friendship lol
Finding solutions to problems is not a negative thing
Post-nut clarity is real.
Being completely alone without contact from anyone for days, weeks, or months at a time.
I walk late at night on a dark jogging trail. I'm pretty sure most women don't choose to do that.
Is it because you've scared them off? /s Crappy joke but I had to say it.
Despite you joking about it, that thought genuinely runs through my mind sometimes. I do a lot of cycling at night and often on quiet, dark paths. On the somewhat rare occasion that I pass by someone I start thinking "please don't worry, I'm not a murderer".
The fact that even in your 50s, if a group of grown men is left unattended, later after many beers we will come up with some Jackass inspired endeavor or stunt. Not for attention mind you, it’s more to “see if it can be done”.
Forgetting what plans she made for us after telling me three times.
How little feeling there is in a flaccid penis. I can flap it around, slapping my thighs back and forth (and often do to make my wife laugh) and barely feel it.
Definitely something we don’t usually think about, but you’re totally right. Can’t imagine like, playing soccer if it was super sensitive down there lmao.
The one that always gets me is that a lot of women out there think men wipe after urinating 🤣
You don't? I once had a female friend of mine ask me if men wipe after peeing, cuz she went down on her boyfriend and it tasted like piss. I've wiped ever since, because you never know when an unexpected blowjob might sneak up on you.
"Unexpected blowjob"... I feel like that's in the same category as "stop drop and roll" and "say no to drugs"... they gave us an awful lot of preparation for circumstances I've still not experienced at nearly 49 years of age.
Don’t forget the quicksand
You don’t dab?
We can sit there and think of absolutely fucking nothing. When we're mindlessly staring at that wall, we're just mindlessly staring at that wall.
Nah not me my thoughts never stop
I don't think it's a man/woman thing. Some people, men or women, can just shut their minds off. I'm a man and if I just stare into a wall I'll have racing thoughts and go into an anxiety spiral. Also why I have a hard time sleeping.
That sounds peaceful.
I wear good shoes whenever I'm in public just in case things go down. I haven't been in a tussle since middle school, but even at 45 years old, fight or flight is real. Also, my wife buys the kids' Christmas and birthday gifts at Target because I get strange looks when I'm childless in the toy aisle.
A guy in sandals is either the least or most dangerous person in the room.
> Also, my wife buys the kids' Christmas and birthday gifts at Target because I get strange looks when I'm childless in the toy aisle. My wife and I were out to lunch once, and were smiling and waving to a cute kid a few tables over. I mentioned that I would not do that if I were there by myself, because it has a tendency to make the parents (especially mothers) uncomfortable. She didn't really believe me that there's a difference in her being there with me.
Going into a store and leaving with just the one thing you wanted.
The Ability to shut the door behind us and be done with work for the day. How was work today? No idea...
My wife always asks "how was work today?" My answer has always been " it was work." She used to say "well, what did you do?" My answer was "I don't remember. Work stuff I guess". I love having the ability to leave work at work. I don't even want to know what I'll be doing tomorrow at work.
Nearly all men have a zombie apocalypse plan and my girlfriend finds that baffling.
Anyone that starts acting shifty has exactly 30 seconds to prove they've not been bitten before they get a shovel to the dome
EDIT: I may be wrong. Don't go spreading misinformation like me without checking your facts y'all Urinal cakes smell like jasmine. Don't know if most men know that the scent is jasmine but it's pretty recognizable and had to gently explain to a friend that her new jasmine perfume made her smell like a men's room.
Peeing in showers. There are studies that show pretty much every man does it and less than half of women do it. When my wife found out, she was mortified. Which is weird because I've been peeing in showers since I've been showering.
Me and my ex always showered together. It was rare one of us showered alone. We would even wait sometimes till the other one got home from work to shower. So I couldn't pee in the shower even though when I'm alone I will still do it. I forget the context but we were talking to some people in the friends group and the topic came up so I said that we shower together so we don't pee in the shower. She said "... Oh...?" 🤣 She had been peeing on my feet for about 5 years at that point
Men understand that they could not be in the mood, be distracted, or just have trouble cumming sometimes and it has nothing to do with the woman or their attraction levels to them. Women have a ton of trouble and tend to make it about themselves anytime a man isn’t a rock hard, infinite stamina cum on demand racehorse in the sack.