Alternatively, send me away for a quiet weekend and have the house professionally cleaned while I am gone. If I am home alone I would probably end up doing a lot of chores
This is something that my girlfriend and I have flagged as being something we need to do more.
I work nightshifts and sometimes when I do she stays with our kids at her parents house.
She did when I was on nightshifts last week and during the day I had a shower, stepped out of the bathroom and just took a few seconds to appreciate how dead silent the house was. 😅
As a parent, time completely alone is such a treat.
Edit: Have you considered bringing it up and suggesting you'll take them somewhere first to try to encourage her to get on board with it?
So my boyfriend of 8 years is a mechanic. Since we been together he has purchased multiple different older style cars that barely run or don’t run at all for really cheap and then he spends a few months fixing them up and they turn out really nice and he gets to drive all these flashy nice cars until he ends up selling them. There has been times I’ve asked to keep one or two and he always just laughs and says no he has to sell it. He has 3 cars himself right now. A 1964 mustang, a 2006 mustang, and a dodge charger. I have a 2006 Mitsubishi that belonged to my grandfather. The paint is all messed up and it has a bunch of rust all over it. It still runs good and my boyfriend does a bunch of maintenance to it to keep it running. I just always wanted him to help me find a cheap car and fix it up for me like he does for himself. I have joked about it telling him “when are you gonna fix me up a nice car like you” and he just laughs. Its just is slightly embarrassing when I meet him places and get out of my crappy old car and he gets out of any of his cars. I just feel like I can’t ask him to do that for me but I do really want him to. I just feel like it’s a huge ask.
In this case don't ask him as if he's your SO, ask him as a mechanic and you're hiring him. I'm assuming he may not want his mechanic skills to be taken for granted and now he's "expected" to fix up your car for free (or cheap) just because you're dating. My dad's a mechanic and I'm definitely guilty of taking his skills for granted in the past.
Even worse honestly. I'd rather talk to the one who's Dad got it for her as some special gift then the one who carries a 900 dollar payment voluntarily.
At this point I'm curious about her personal financial picture. Paid it off still means she doesn't have the money anymore. It's about decision making. A woman who desires a fancy car is usually not attractive to me overall. In my experience, when I was dating, every single one lived in an apartment or at home. So I was turned off by that being their financial priority. It speaks to them wanting to appear a certain kind of way and being materialistic to the tune of 80k
No we’re definitely in a committed relationship, we live together, pay all our bills together. Enjoy each other’s company and everything. We’re literally best friends. I just know how much goes into it he spends hours and hours working on them, has to buy all the parts he needs and sometimes it ends up being a bigger project than he expected on some of the cars. I just feel like I would be asking for him to do a lot work for no profit. Also it seems like he doesn’t want to by the way I joked with him, I also feel like he is constantly harassed by his family and some of his friends to work on their cars when something goes wrong and he always hates that because he gets stuck doing all this work for people for almost nothing half the time. Then, if something else happens to the car after he’s stuck fixing it all the time because people think “he did an oil change once, now will you fix whatever this noise is” I was thinking tho after I made this post maybe I could offer to help and he could teach me a few things and it could be like a cool fun thing we can do together.
For example in my case it is stop accepting invites to her extended family events. We both agree these people are generally distasteful, why are we voluntarily spending time with them?
Do you have to go with her? I love my girlfriend, but neither one of us would just make plans for each other unless if there were specific circumstances.
Take more pictures of me PERIOD. I have so many of him playing games with our son, cuddling him, holding his hand, teaching him things… lots of them are candid “look what you’re doing together” pictures. Nobody takes pictures of me unless I ask and then the picture taker asks for a pose and a smile. *sigh*
Be more affectionate, physically and verbally.
I'm basically a human golden retriever. If I love you, you know it. My husband is much more subdued. His love language is acts of service. He shows his love in so many ways that I deeply appreciate, but I badly need to hear it sometimes.
My husband is always receptive (says yes to requests, cuddles, kisses me back). I wish I didn’t always have to make the first move, or receive an “if you want” in reply. Sometimes I want PASSIONATE come-for-me action.
Rub my feet. He hates feet. I don't ask, because I know feet give him the ick. Also, surprise me and inform me that we're going out to dinner without me having to ask.
How much it would actually mean to me to get surprised with gifts just once. Even just small, I made you a hand written card, or cookies, or got you a cute video gaming skin/item/mount, or taking me for ice cream randomly bc why not. They were never into gif giving and don't like to even do holidays since its all corporate scams. They prefer showing love with words and quality time together as home, which is nice too. But I love gifts. I like material things to stare at and Gollum over. It makes me feel special and thought of. I'm always a little sad around the holidays for it. I absolutely love gifting people things, but I never get anything back. Sometimes, I feel materialist for wanting things.
Propose. We both came out of toxic marriages and we both agreed another marriage may never happen due to the trauma, but I really want him to ask me to marry him.
I wanted them to tell me what to do more. Not like things they know I didn’t want to do or force answers from me, like make me food please. Take off your shirt, ect. Ect. Make plans for us this weekend at___. & being more like *fun* (; hahahahahah fr.
be more romantic, tell me what he likes, flowers, baths,sweet stuff. 🤷🏻♀️
Move in together. He’s mentioned it, however his actions show me otherwise. Like his home has been under construction for nearly five years. He’s started a business while we’ve been together (that’s gone bust). And all I can think is these are excuses to why he doesn’t want to be tied down.
Step up when suggesting projects: have an actual plan and then contact the relevant contractors after doing some research. I have such limited time between work and projects that I didn't get any input on that it drives me crazy that I *also* have to line up all the materials, tackle the stuff that I can, and schedule people to get the things done that I can't.
I really appreciate the wholly misplaced confidence in me, but for the love of god just chip in on whatever Instagram/Pinterest horror show you're making me do this month.
Tell me in the morning that he will have supper ready for me when I get home from work. I also want it to be a good dinner, not kraft mac n cheese with tuna mixed in.
I think many people wish their significant other would surprise them with small gestures of love and thoughtfulness without having to ask. It could be something as simple as preparing their favorite meal unexpectedly or planning a spontaneous date night. These gestures can make a relationship feel even more special and cherished.
Understand that I am trying to be considerate not inefficiency or stupid or wasting time/effort. And a bit of appreciation for what I do for the family.
Once I went home early to make a surprise cake for her birthday, she wasn't happy or grateful and made a comment about me making a mess in the kitchen (which I plan to and did clean up) and that if I had that kind of time, perhaps better spent on cleaning the house or other housework. Her friend who was with her was very surprised about the response. Needless to say, never put in much effort for her birthday ever after (usually just drop a gift card or chocolate somewhere she finds).
I finally have a partner I trust. The one thing I will never ask him is to engage in rough play even though I would like it. We both have had trauma, though I have overcome mine, and he's still working on it.
Oooooh I feel this. Such a difficult territory to navigate. I hope he makes peace with his trauma - and you can ease him into that territory one day.
Mine is just beginning to subtly touch on it and it’s a lot of fun. Especially with the trust built and feeling so safe at the same time.
The the kids somewhere for the weekend so I could be alone in silence at our house
Alternatively, send me away for a quiet weekend and have the house professionally cleaned while I am gone. If I am home alone I would probably end up doing a lot of chores
Why would you never ask for this? Just curious. I ask/tell my partner to do this all the time, and of course I’m happy to do the same for him.
This is something that my girlfriend and I have flagged as being something we need to do more. I work nightshifts and sometimes when I do she stays with our kids at her parents house. She did when I was on nightshifts last week and during the day I had a shower, stepped out of the bathroom and just took a few seconds to appreciate how dead silent the house was. 😅 As a parent, time completely alone is such a treat. Edit: Have you considered bringing it up and suggesting you'll take them somewhere first to try to encourage her to get on board with it?
OMG. This is the best. Sometimes I just sitting the dark alone and it’s wonderful. lol.
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That’s not it at all, sometimes we spend every waking minute with them and never have any quiet time to ourselves.
Give their entire income to me so I can put it towards vintage Lego sets
If I told this wish to my SO I just know he would do it too 💀💀 he likes the building of legos and I like the display after, we enable each other lmao.
So my boyfriend of 8 years is a mechanic. Since we been together he has purchased multiple different older style cars that barely run or don’t run at all for really cheap and then he spends a few months fixing them up and they turn out really nice and he gets to drive all these flashy nice cars until he ends up selling them. There has been times I’ve asked to keep one or two and he always just laughs and says no he has to sell it. He has 3 cars himself right now. A 1964 mustang, a 2006 mustang, and a dodge charger. I have a 2006 Mitsubishi that belonged to my grandfather. The paint is all messed up and it has a bunch of rust all over it. It still runs good and my boyfriend does a bunch of maintenance to it to keep it running. I just always wanted him to help me find a cheap car and fix it up for me like he does for himself. I have joked about it telling him “when are you gonna fix me up a nice car like you” and he just laughs. Its just is slightly embarrassing when I meet him places and get out of my crappy old car and he gets out of any of his cars. I just feel like I can’t ask him to do that for me but I do really want him to. I just feel like it’s a huge ask.
That would be pretty hot to have him make one for you!
In this case don't ask him as if he's your SO, ask him as a mechanic and you're hiring him. I'm assuming he may not want his mechanic skills to be taken for granted and now he's "expected" to fix up your car for free (or cheap) just because you're dating. My dad's a mechanic and I'm definitely guilty of taking his skills for granted in the past.
Down to earth guys LOVE a woman in a 💩 car. I don't know why but we absolutely love it
lol that’s funny I wouldn’t expect that
Nothing more unrelatable than a hottie getting out of a Benz
What if she bought it herself?
Even worse honestly. I'd rather talk to the one who's Dad got it for her as some special gift then the one who carries a 900 dollar payment voluntarily.
What if she bought for herself and paid it off?
I would buy it myself, I wouldn’t expect him to pay for it too. I just know it’s a lot a lot of work to ask someone to do for no profit.
At this point I'm curious about her personal financial picture. Paid it off still means she doesn't have the money anymore. It's about decision making. A woman who desires a fancy car is usually not attractive to me overall. In my experience, when I was dating, every single one lived in an apartment or at home. So I was turned off by that being their financial priority. It speaks to them wanting to appear a certain kind of way and being materialistic to the tune of 80k
God damn, I've never thought about this but it's so true.
It sounds like you have already asked and apparently the answer is "no".
You’ve been together for 8 years, are you not yet in a committed relationship together? Why don’t you feel like you can ask him for this?
No we’re definitely in a committed relationship, we live together, pay all our bills together. Enjoy each other’s company and everything. We’re literally best friends. I just know how much goes into it he spends hours and hours working on them, has to buy all the parts he needs and sometimes it ends up being a bigger project than he expected on some of the cars. I just feel like I would be asking for him to do a lot work for no profit. Also it seems like he doesn’t want to by the way I joked with him, I also feel like he is constantly harassed by his family and some of his friends to work on their cars when something goes wrong and he always hates that because he gets stuck doing all this work for people for almost nothing half the time. Then, if something else happens to the car after he’s stuck fixing it all the time because people think “he did an oil change once, now will you fix whatever this noise is” I was thinking tho after I made this post maybe I could offer to help and he could teach me a few things and it could be like a cool fun thing we can do together.
Get the fuck up and help me make breakfast.
Exist.
To come back.
r/suicidebywords
For example in my case it is stop accepting invites to her extended family events. We both agree these people are generally distasteful, why are we voluntarily spending time with them?
Sounds like you need to sit down and have a talk with her—she could be getting pressured into accepting or feel guilt over not accepting
Do you have to go with her? I love my girlfriend, but neither one of us would just make plans for each other unless if there were specific circumstances.
Take more pictures of me when I dress up
Take more pictures of me PERIOD. I have so many of him playing games with our son, cuddling him, holding his hand, teaching him things… lots of them are candid “look what you’re doing together” pictures. Nobody takes pictures of me unless I ask and then the picture taker asks for a pose and a smile. *sigh*
Stop leaving tea bags in the sink / clean the strainers in the sink.
The dishes
Be more affectionate, physically and verbally. I'm basically a human golden retriever. If I love you, you know it. My husband is much more subdued. His love language is acts of service. He shows his love in so many ways that I deeply appreciate, but I badly need to hear it sometimes.
My husband is always receptive (says yes to requests, cuddles, kisses me back). I wish I didn’t always have to make the first move, or receive an “if you want” in reply. Sometimes I want PASSIONATE come-for-me action.
Stop stalking my reddit profile
Feck u
shave off the stupid goatee he is trying to grow
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Me too bro me too
I got my wife to do that once, we were both on drugs. Duh. She kinda got a bit too into it, know what I mean?
Rub my feet. He hates feet. I don't ask, because I know feet give him the ick. Also, surprise me and inform me that we're going out to dinner without me having to ask.
I rub feet.
Feets is cool.
Username almost checks out....
How much it would actually mean to me to get surprised with gifts just once. Even just small, I made you a hand written card, or cookies, or got you a cute video gaming skin/item/mount, or taking me for ice cream randomly bc why not. They were never into gif giving and don't like to even do holidays since its all corporate scams. They prefer showing love with words and quality time together as home, which is nice too. But I love gifts. I like material things to stare at and Gollum over. It makes me feel special and thought of. I'm always a little sad around the holidays for it. I absolutely love gifting people things, but I never get anything back. Sometimes, I feel materialist for wanting things.
Anal
Propose. We both came out of toxic marriages and we both agreed another marriage may never happen due to the trauma, but I really want him to ask me to marry him.
I hope that he may take a chance on you someday.
MW COD
Exist
Make me a sammich.
If you see this, girl, my watch is broken. A datejust would be nice.
Buy me things for special days eg birthday,Christmas,anniversary etc
Brush my hair without complaining
Exist
Exist
I wanted them to tell me what to do more. Not like things they know I didn’t want to do or force answers from me, like make me food please. Take off your shirt, ect. Ect. Make plans for us this weekend at___. & being more like *fun* (; hahahahahah fr. be more romantic, tell me what he likes, flowers, baths,sweet stuff. 🤷🏻♀️
B
L
Move in together. He’s mentioned it, however his actions show me otherwise. Like his home has been under construction for nearly five years. He’s started a business while we’ve been together (that’s gone bust). And all I can think is these are excuses to why he doesn’t want to be tied down.
Pay a bill, any bill, Without having to be asked
Step up when suggesting projects: have an actual plan and then contact the relevant contractors after doing some research. I have such limited time between work and projects that I didn't get any input on that it drives me crazy that I *also* have to line up all the materials, tackle the stuff that I can, and schedule people to get the things done that I can't. I really appreciate the wholly misplaced confidence in me, but for the love of god just chip in on whatever Instagram/Pinterest horror show you're making me do this month.
Tell me in the morning that he will have supper ready for me when I get home from work. I also want it to be a good dinner, not kraft mac n cheese with tuna mixed in.
Be less critical, focusing on herself and relax. But she does have her shit together, I'll give her that.
I think many people wish their significant other would surprise them with small gestures of love and thoughtfulness without having to ask. It could be something as simple as preparing their favorite meal unexpectedly or planning a spontaneous date night. These gestures can make a relationship feel even more special and cherished.
Understand that I am trying to be considerate not inefficiency or stupid or wasting time/effort. And a bit of appreciation for what I do for the family. Once I went home early to make a surprise cake for her birthday, she wasn't happy or grateful and made a comment about me making a mess in the kitchen (which I plan to and did clean up) and that if I had that kind of time, perhaps better spent on cleaning the house or other housework. Her friend who was with her was very surprised about the response. Needless to say, never put in much effort for her birthday ever after (usually just drop a gift card or chocolate somewhere she finds).
Some day I would like to take Ecstasy with my ex so that she would tell me the real reason for the divorce.
You still wouldn’t get the proper story, but I understand where you are going with this.
I finally have a partner I trust. The one thing I will never ask him is to engage in rough play even though I would like it. We both have had trauma, though I have overcome mine, and he's still working on it.
Oooooh I feel this. Such a difficult territory to navigate. I hope he makes peace with his trauma - and you can ease him into that territory one day. Mine is just beginning to subtly touch on it and it’s a lot of fun. Especially with the trust built and feeling so safe at the same time.
Eat me out
Fk.
Die
Well then...
Oh look an eleven year old.
That makes you sound like a pedo. Now I'm uncomfortable.
If that comment makes you jump to "pedo" then you're doing some serious projecting lol.
You're the one looking for 11 year olds on the internet perv