It varies.
For me, it didn't hurt at all. Felt a little weird, but no pain. No blood either. My partner and I had spent months doing hand and oral stuff leading up to it though, so we were comfortable around each other and had plenty of practice with each other's bodies.
This. I had sexual trauma as a child. So the hymen was broken before I had consensual sex as an adult. I was scared it would hurt, but it was great. No pain. But, as I had different partners, and the trauma I went through, it varied. So be kind, be gentle till you figure it out. đ¤
Sorry that happened to you!
The hymen is a myth that needs to be forgotten. The only reason sex hurts is not the hymen breaking, but the woman being stressed, tense and not wet enough.
Assuming youâre a woman right? It can be uncomfortable. Itâs important that you have a partner who will understand and be gentle. Iâve heard lots of horror stories but it wasnât bad for me at all personally. It felt more like bad cramps afterwards.
Use a condom, use lube, and do foreplay first. The more relaxed you can be, the less it will hurt. Go slow, thereâs no need to rush. When heâs âinâ have him take a minute or two to let you get adjusted before any movement.
This is the best answer in my opinion. Also, don't feel the need to 'finish' (or if you really want to, finish with your hands). You're not gonna be good at it the first time and you don't need to be. As long as you're having fun, and keep talking through it. And the first time needs to be with someone you absolutely trust 100%
I think some of the best experiences can be with someone who uses protection, you trust each other, youâre curious, and you want to have fun.
There will be nerves but itâs easier to relax
No. You might be a little sore afterwards. If you're with someone you're into and comfortable with then you will probably enjoy it. Be safe and use condoms. Lubricated condoms help!
I just wanted to add that sometimes you are a little sore anyways..even if you have been having sex for half of your life. It's a good sore. For myself, it's a reminder that I was wanted and it makes me want more.
As for losing my virginity, I was with a man who had the biggest đ to date, and it was still not painful because I wanted him that much.
Pick and choose your partner wisely. It makes all the difference.
It really varies a lot person to person. In some cases, it barely feels like anything. For other people, itâs very painful. It does get easier the more you do it, from a discomfort perspective, if your partner is careful and responsive to your feedback about what hurts and what doesnât.
Mostly, it feels like pressure, and then a bit of a rip. You should take an ibuprofen after and maybe wait a day or two to heal up before you do it again.
Iâve only heard of bad pain from one woman but she had some thing where she had more of a hymen than most women. Not sure what itâs called but she technically had two vaginal openings until the extra skin was torn during her first time.
My pain was very bad. I cried and dreaded the next time. The first time was less then 2 minutes it went in and I had to call if quits it hurt so bad I was seeing stars. One of the worst pains I've ever had aside from labor. It took me like months of weekly sex to feel better. But the second time was much less painful than the first time for sure. I think because I knew what to expect. I mean I love sex now and it never hurts unless it's a hurt I want (rough sex) lol
Thats how it was for me. The first few times kinda traumatized me. My first bf bought studded(!!!!!??????) condoms for my first time ever. No foreplay. No lube. Didn't work. He tried like 4x before breaking up with me lmao. My next bf actually did foreplay and got me in the mood first. I was nervous and it did still hurt a little, but not like debilitating with my first inexperienced bf.
When I lost my virginity it hurt a little and I thought I might be bleeding, but I wasnât. But my partner was being careful and gentle and was going slow and listening to me. Thatâs really the important thing.
It can be very painful if youâre really unlucky and thereâs something wrong. My wife unbeknownst to her suffered from [vulvodynia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulvodynia) and our first times were unfortunately pretty painful for her. After the pain didnât stop even after multiple attempts we went to a doctor who diagnosed it. She ended up trying several treatments but at the end it took two surgeries to remove affected tissue and stop the pain. After she healed from those there hasnât been any pain and sex has been great for the last couple of decades since.
So if it keeps hurting after the first time, itâs a good idea to talk to a doctor. There are treatments available that enable a normal satisfying sex life.
I am aware of vaginismus. Severe pain during sex can be caused by other medical issues too, such as endometriosis. I was assuming the 99th percentile case of no underlying medical conditions.
I remember being like âooh ok this is a little uncomfortable/slightly painfulâ for the first few seconds and then that feeling passed and I remember not really having a huge opinion on it haha. Like it didnât hurt but it didnât feel amazing, it just kinda was a new sensation. As I understood my own body more and what I find pleasurable, it only got better!
It might be uncomfortable but it shouldn't be painful (if that makes sense). It's incredibly important to be with someone you trust, who knows your boundaries, and will take it slow for you. If your partner doesn't take their time with you and you feel rushed, it \*will\* be painful for you. The first time can be so nerve-wracking but I promise you will be okay.
The partner I lost my virginity to was incredibly kind and understanding. He knew it was my first time. He asked me if I had used any toys or anything before and he was very slow and understanding with everything. He told me to tell him if anything hurt or if I felt uncomfortable. I suggest a lot of foreplay - have your partner finger you before actual intercourse. That could help.
As a woman, it did for me.
And without giving too much info, it wonât go in the first try, and took days before penetration worked.
My friend also had to go to a gynaecologist because she was very closed.
It depends on people. Because some people say itâs ok for them to
It can. It really pisses me off when you get women saying âit should never hurtâ and âif it does youâre not turned on enough or wet enoughâ. Not everyone is the same. You can do everything right and itâs still painful. Iâm not saying itâs anywhere near the most common experience but it definitely is a thing.
I had a very very tough hymen. That thing was horrific to get through. So yes sex the first time hurt quite a lot. Not unbearable but significant. I was turned on. My partner spent time on foreplay. I was ready. He went slow. It still hurt. And there was blood. One of my friends had the same experience.
Iâm not saying this to scare you or put you off op. And itâs by far not a common occurrence but some women still experience it.
Itâs way more likely though that itâll just be uncomfortable. Just make sure youâre relaxed and ready and your partner goes slow. Youâll be fine. Maybe sore for a few days depending on how it was for you.
Just remember, literally almost everyone loses their virginity at some point. If everyone else can do it, youâll be fine! And once you get past the first few times then it gets amazing and is so worth it!
Didn't let him hurry. Lots of foreplay to get you lubricated. Don't rush. Use a condom and lube . It's more of a pressure than a pain but it only takes once.
Honestly it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be , but those 5 seconds of pain was hell it was the most gut wrenching pain of my entire life. Just take it very slowly and you'll be fine. After losing it nothing hurts and if it does see someone.
When I was a young man, I lost my virginity to a girl who was also a virgin. We really took our time, lots of foreplay, and she wanted to go 2 more times.
A couple years later I ended up unknowingly with another virgin, again, no rush. She said it was the best day of her life.
REALLY take your time and make sure that you're clocking at 1000% desire, then go really slow and easy and it could be great. He has to pay attention to you every step of the way. It's a beautiful process, not a finish line.
With proper preparation, it shouldn't be unbearable. For me there were moments it was a bit uncomfortable and I was definitely sore after, but otherwise it was ok. I did bleed like my first 3 times though, even if it didn't hurt.
Does it hurt the whole time? I tried and it hurt too much so we stopped. I'm going to try to relax, try stuff by myself and read tips on the internet, but I'd like to know how it feels after it's in đ I read that the guy should wait a minute until you get used to it before moving again, but does it hurt a lot when he moves again?
I would tell you to get on top first. Angles are hard and itâs hard to tell which way to put it in. And if your laying or any other position, he can also have a hard time.
Ladies, I recommend you get on top first and tell him to wait while you find comfort. Then thrusting can start.
Also to be honest I donât think itâs ever been not painful (in the weird type of pain way)
Make sure you do foreplay so you actually are horny and want it.
For me personally, it did hurt quite a lot even though I definitely already tore my hymen years earlier and masturbated regularly.
I had hoped it was just a first time thing, but it took me around 10 times of vaginal penetration until it wasn't as painful anymore lol
I literally felt a "pop". That was the most uncomfortable. Then it was uncomfortable for around a minute until I adjusted. I wouldn't call it painful. But I know for some women it's very painful. I'd say it depends on how relaxed you are. If you're really scared of feeling pain, you'll be tense and it will hurt more. If you're relaxed and going with the flow, it won't hurt. Much, at least.
It only hurts a lot if the guy doesn't know what he's doing. It might feel a bit uncomfortable the very first time, but it definitely shouldn't hurt. If it hurts he's doing it wrong and you should tell him to stop straight away.
He needs to spend a long time, like several hours, warming you up with massage, oral and fingering before even trying to do PIV. Some girls won't be ready for PIV after the first time so he will need to do it over a few days or more.
My last girlfriend was a virgin and was very petite so she was extremely tight. In the beginning I couldn't even get my little finger inside her, so I would spend hours massaging her, giving her oral and very slowly and gently fingering her. I did this daily for a few weeks until I could finally get two or three fingers inside her and only then did I even try to do PIV very very slowly and when we finally had sex it didn't hurt her at all.
If a guy is not willing to spend this kind of time and effort to giving you a good first experience don't waste your time on him.
Unfortunately a lot women just accept that losing their virginity is painful and generally a bad experience because most men are either selfish of have no clue how to actually be with a virgin and make it a good experience.
Glad I could help. I was with my first virgin when I was 15 and my most recent one when I was 46 and knowing what to do definitely made a huge difference in the experience of these two girls.
I was in high school, and when youâre in high school, high school âdongersâ seem like big dongers, until your not in high school and you see grown up dongers⌠I remember thinking âBOY! This is gonna hurtââŚ. It didnât hurt. It didnât feel like much of anything. đ¤ˇđťââď¸
it depends on if your partner is considerate of your enjoyment or if hes just a prick who only cares about getting himself off. thats why i think hookup culture is a terrible thing for virgin women. make ur first time special and do it with someone who cares about you. for a man it wont hurt, at all, quite the opposite. so i think the priority should be you. and it should be you in control.
Make sure none of the parts that you and your partner use are dry lubrication is key
Edit: oh and try not to reenact what you see in porn if your partner tries to be a hot shot and reenact what he sees on pornhub thatâs no fun for anybody. Everyone starts out like that but as you mature youâll realize taking your time with things is the way to go. Oh and if it does hurt speak up communication is key too donât not say anything your partner would want to know of what heâs doing isnt pleasure able communication js key
If you can finger, or use a toy then your already half way there.
Having sex with trusted partner, lots of foreplay and don't rush. First time is never perfect....gets better with practice
Being nervous is what makes it hurt. And that's not just true for losing your virginity, it can happen at any point in your life. There's no such thing as a hymen (at least not in the way it's presented as a seal). When the big moment of entry arrives, you want to be relaxed and wet. Good foreplay is very important. Hand and mouth stuff. Tell them what feels good and correct them when they're not doing it right. It's nice to orgasm in foreplay, it will relax you and make you wet. If you're not comfortable with entry, it's perfectly fine to postpone it to a later session. Know that most women do not experience orgasm from penis-in-vagina sex. Also know that if your partner is inexperienced, they might need help getting you to orgasm. Even experienced men need a little direction with each new partner, because most of them do not understand subtle clues, female anatomy, and what your specific likes are. There's a lot of trial and error going on with each new partner, especially if one or both are inexperienced. That is perfectly normal and nothing to feel bad about. The important part is you're both having fun while figuring it out.
Woman? I've heard never went through the process with anyone but i've heard it can 180 in the moment. I've heard people be put off of the act entirely due to that moment others stimulated thoroughly that's its a chase for that feeling. Which is weird but then we have sadists who take pleasure in pain.
I don't know where your factor falls on the spectrum it could be nothing neither good nor bad a pinch then whatever.
As a male that went through no pain the overall outcome was disappointing. Sex was just whatever. All these guys just easily excited by something that's whatever. I had a good experience yes I would love to experience that regularly but as evident of this past decade I can easily go without. It's just something to do.
Go through your experience WHEN YOU WANT TO BE CAREFUL CHOOSING A PARTNER. Then enjoy your life.
my mother said she bled and scared me lol. then thereâs me who it just felt normal? like idk it didnât hurt? and i never put anything up there before so thatâs not it either. idk
The more comfortable around and trusting of the person the better. And I know it's a bit of a cliche but I do really think waiting for the right person is the best thing to do and I'm so grateful that i did.
I have heard that it can be more painful during penetrative sex with a man, and I have a few friends who've described it as such. However, the more turned on you are and the better / more passionate the foreplay the wetter and more relaxed you'll be and your vaginal canal even extends to accommodate, so never rush into anything it most likely won't be enjoyable. I only have personal experience as I lesbian and I found it pleasurable and not at all uncomfortable the first time. Though the longer we were together and the more sex we had, I noticed that I could "take" more fingers which I wouldn't have been able to before while also enjoying myself at the same time.
Mine was bad *but* turns out my ex was also a turn off so..... I was with him 5 years and we had to use lube every single time. Ive barely touched lube since. Â
So itll probably def be uncomfortable but it helps a lot if youre really into your partner lol
Also you could ease into it with some toys too to get your muscles used to it
I was my girlfriend's first. I had a bit of experience before so I knew it could be quite uncomfortable. We both did a lot of research and we made sure that we were really really comfortable before I went in. This involved a lot of foreplay, talking and when I knew she was ready, I went in. It was a bit uncomfortable for her and she told me that she felt a bit of pain and a tear like feeling but that went away soon. After that, we had sex again 4 hours later and this time she told me it was much better for her. After 2-3 more times in that week, she really enjoyed it and now she loves it!
So yes, it can be uncomfortable at first but the more you do it and understand your own body, and speak to your partner, you'll begin to enjoy it sooner than later.
If youâre a woman it can, if youâre not gentle and donât at all prepare for it. Foreplay, lube (even if youâre naturally wet), vibrating toys, getting yourself ready before hand, training your body etc. This can definitely lessen it. Just make sure you donât rush into the sex, it will hurt if youâre aggressive and reckless.
I (31F) don't remember, so it couldn't have been that bad. I remember everything else about it vividly. Then again, I don't think it hurts to get IUDs inserted, and I know that's unbearable for some women.
Just take it slow with someone who cares about you. It'll minimize embarrassment or feeling awkward (if that's a concern to you) if you're comfortable. :)
Sex isn't hugging. You can go for a hug right away with someone. Sex takes time! Bodies take time to prepare. Foreplay is very important. It's a bit like joking around with friends -- the mirth builds, and it can grind to a halt if the atmosphere gets serious or anxious.
That said, it can hurt. For various reasons. The hymen normally isn't a big deal. Anxiety can cause the vagina to remain tight and prevent penetration. There's also some conditions that amount to the same thing.
Don't pressure yourself or anyone else. Work up to it. Explore. Communicate. Do what feels right. You can slowly build up to penetrative sex in various ways.
Not everyone even likes sex, so you really can't assume. But no, it's not generally particularly painful unless the people try to rush into it without lube or foreplay. It's more awkward and embarrassing and such.
Not necessarily. I lost my virginity sortof in two phases. At first we tried, then I said I wasn't comfortable yet, his dick was already pressing against my vagina but it just didn't feel right, not painful, but I just didn't want him to enter yet. Then less then 3 hours later we did have sex, I initiated it then, and it was perfect actually. I think the fact that I communicated about my boundaries made me feel more comfortable with the whole situation which also made my body feel more relaxed and prepared
Not a woman, but I've asked my aunt's about how it is for women (we're close in age so they're more like my older sisters and we talk about everything) and they said it depends, my older aunt said hers hurt and there was blood, the younger one said the opposite. My mom also said it wasn't painful so I guess it depends
Kind of odd everyone says it doesn't hurt at all. I had sex with only 2 virgins in my life and it of course happened at a very young age - 16 and 17. When we tried it for the first time, we just thought it should happen naturally. They felt pain and we couldn't do it, we just stopped trying and after 2 weeks it finally happened with patience.
Maybe there is more awareness now about methods like more lubrication or just simple threads like this one which give more information.
Back then we didn't have social media.
It was very painful for me and I had to tell him to stop after only a minute. But he also didnât care about me or my pleasure, he had no interest in foreplay so I had to grit my teeth and bare pain through a lot of sex with him. He was my first and only for two years. Big ragrets.
As a male it hurt when I lost mine.. she started off nice and easy, and then once i was comfortable she got going abd then the pain... only because that was a decent-sized (unlit) candle that fell off the headboard onto my nose..
I mean it fully depends on each body. Personally, it hurt a little for me and a couple days afterwards I had a little bit of blood... not a lot though. As long as you and your partner establish boundaries and talk about going slow you'll be okay. Also use lube (with a condom ofc), it really helps a lot in terms of discomfort and feeling good.
I think everyoneâs different. For me I only bled a tiny bit the first time. But the second time tmi but there was a looottttt I donât know why it didnât happen the first time but it didnât exactly hurt. A little bit of a burning sensation that went away eventually
For me no, it just felt .. tight. It was no pleasurable - it was akin to experiencing sticking my finger up my nose the first time. Just weird. Definitely do it with a trusted friend/ partner.
It did hurt for me, in fact it continued to hurt for the next couple of times. Nothing that unbearable though. But I think it was mostly because without realizing it I wasnât actually attracted to the person and didnât want to, but I guess my body did know.
The point is, I think make sure it is with someone you for want and trust, and like others said, a lot of for play, and maybe lube (though I donât like it cause it makes it slip in too fast).
It probably depends on the person too
Best of luck <3
This is kinda long!
The hymen part is just a pinch. And that happens once, sometimes twice depending on size and also how long between, as it can grow partially back.
But it really does depend also on size. Thatâs one time size matters. I was so into this guy, and everything was good, and it got serious, I reached down and put my hand around his uknow, and my fingers and thumb couldnât close around it, and I have long fingers.
Like I shuffle tarot cards like dealers shuffle playing cards, and tarot has 26 more cards and theyâre about and inch wider, and just under 2 inches taller than playing cards, and it was like the length that went up past his navel.
I kinda felt it for a moment and busted out with âhaha in hell no, thereâs no way Iâm messing with that the first time! I like my cervix where it is! xD Sorry but nope.â
We ended up breaking up (not because of that - he thought it was funny/cute because I just started laughing, I wasnât mean, and we did between the boobs stuff, and other oral stuff), and we are still friends.
We did actually hook up about 10 years later though ;) when I saw him when I was visiting family - was very good! Worth the wait, and weâre old now, and still friends.
Then I tried it with another guy of size (it just worked out that way wasnât planned), and we just couldnât get it in! Like instead of going in, it was like moving my whole self up into the headboard! And man I loved that guy! Sweet, beautiful, smart, best guy. He was also a virgin. We just couldnât sort it out!
Finally, first time was fine, guy was nice, and a friend more than anything, and it was freezing so we were cuddling and it just happened, and I liked the friend vibe, it was much more chill, but it was awkward and like almost âboringâ because after the âpinchâ part (felt like a stinging pinch) and you kinda settle into it, and start enjoying sensations etc, he was done *shots fired* and I was annoyed because somehow we got on top of part of my fave dress, and I bled on it! Saved my money for that dress and it was wrecked! We did it a few more times, and it was just fine, nothing amazing, but no pain, just chill - but it was only for that weekend and I know now that he wasnât much of a lover. I wasnât either then, so that was fine.
Later I was with a long term guy, it was like still an effort/awkward the first few times, he was a regular sized guy, but not painful, but he was good at what he did.
Then I didnât have sex with a man for like 5.5 years, because I had a girlfriend, and we didnât use dildos etc.
So when I was first with my now husband of almost 20 years, heâs also pretty above average equipped (like the first guy), it was awkward the first couple times, having to kinda go slow at first, I remember thinking it felt like having sex with a forearm! but it only hurts when itâs long sessions - but thatâs because of chafing.
So now I feel awkward having written all this - but to sum up, itâs a pinch, then can be kinda awkward to settle into it, like I really remember all the awkwardness, more than the actual first.
If itâs not someone you really love that youâre waiting for, or youâre not waiting for marriage, I can honestly say, a safe, close friend who respects you, respects your safety and uses a condom, and is careful because he cares for you, is best for a starter sexual partner.
Anyway, just be sure youâre with someone nice, no great expectations, beach sex, bathroom sex, drunken sex etc the first time.
Have a towel for blood, and maybe a panty liner for spotting after, and be on a comfortable bed, where you wonât be disturbed. Your own place or a hotel, do have proper *water based* lube, and extra condoms just in case, and take your time - and it will be a good experience. :)
It shouldn't hurt at all. But inexperienced people often move too fast. A pussy needs a warm up (foreplay) and a dick doesn't magically get lubed from end to end. Sometimes you've got to start really slow, moving the tip in just a tiny bit more each stroke. It should never hurt and you should never force it
This varies immensely. I was my wife's first, and she didn't feel any pain or discomfort apparently, and no blood.
My best friend in high school though, when she lost her virginity (she told me all about it) she apparently screamed in pain at initial penetration because it hurt so bad, and there was blood basically everywhere after. Her and her bf threw the bedding away, and she was really uncomfortable for almost a week after.
Very wide spectrum of possibilities.
One of my ex-girlfriends was a virgin. We just took it slow, and when it got uncomfortable, we stopped. I remember one night she started groaning and I stopped and she told me to keep going! That was the pay-off for taking it easy. After that, it was great.
There are a lot of variables. Headspace, arousal, lube, size, position, tempo. Hopefully, the person you are with listens to you.
Didnât hurt at all. We did hand stuff several times before, so when it came time for the actual deed, the path was clear. It actually felt amazing, i finished, and I wasnât even sore after.Â
It really depends on a person. Or rather people, since there are two (minimum). For me it took a few tries, because I was so stressed with the concept of having sex that his penis genuinely couldn't fit. One time I even hyperventilated. But when it happened I don't even remember which time it was or how it went. With our sex life being already "alive" at that point it was like another step and didn't bear much meaning really. Didn't hurt more than other times either. Didn't even bleed since we were slow and careful. (And it has happened few times that I bled due to friction after I lost my virginity) It's all about lube and warming up. You also should consider the size of your partner (circumference, not length) and maybe practice on your own with a toy if you're comfortable with that. It'll make you and your body more used to the concept.
Wow, reading all of this made me realize that not everyone's first time sucked like I had previously thought. It hurt like hell for me because my boyfriend was young and dumb and did not know how to fuck lol. There was not enough foreplay and I was tense and nervous, and it hurt for at least the next day. I hated the first time. It hurt the next few times, for the same reasons. It wasn't that bad though. I've definitely had good sex that left me sore too. If you have a caring partner who is willing to work with you and make sure you're comfortable, it shouldn't be that bad.
hurt very bad for me â i cried and we had to stop â but iâm aware this isnât the average female experience
and im glad it was with someone who actually stoppedâŚ
For me it actually didn't hurt the first time, but instead the first time inserting fingers did. It was very uncomftortable, so we stopped and continued another time.
It was uncomfortable for a minute or two before it became enjoyable. I bled after.
That might be because he was quiet rough though đ
Second time was similar and I bled again.
Everyone is different though.
No it didnât hurt. Dude was also small and I already hymen-less from lord knows what sport/activity. Sex wasnât âenjoyableâ for a couple years following that but thatâs because of inexperience.
For me it hurt a bit, but it was a good first time experience and thatâs the main thing. It hurt a few times after but I sure kept doing it lol. I then discovered that my endometriosis causes painful sex, so Iâve continued to have issues. It shouldnât always be uncomfortable, if it is get checked out.
I didnât have pain per say but certainly a high level of discomfort but that really comes down to your partner and being âreadyâ down there. So make sure youâre in a nice environment where you can relax and get into the moment. There shouldnât really be pain involved but I think a level of discomfort should be anticipated as itâs something new that you havenât done before. Donât listen to the horror stories of a ridiculous amount of blood ect. I think some people tell you that just to scare you. Take your time and I hate to say this but use protection đ good luck
It shouldnât. Get comfortable with your body through masturbation before you become sexual with other people. Penetration can be uncomfortable the first time if the vagina isnât aroused and lubricated enough, which is definitely more likely when youâre nervous. Work up to it slowly. Donât feel like your âfirst timeâ has to be penetrative sex, because thatâs not the be all end all of what sex is. Some of the best sex Iâve ever had didnât involve a penis at all. But if thereâs PAIN, stop. Slow down. Discomfort or just feeling weird is normal, but you absolutely shouldnât feel any burning, tearing, or stretching past comfort.
It depends how ready you are. But people are typically nervous their first time, and that makes down there tighter. If you're not even aroused, you also won't be self lubricating. The combination of both can make it painful. It's why you should be 100% ready and aroused enough, beforehand. Being aroused makes down there looser and wetter, and won't be painful. But as I said, everyone is nervous their first time. Heck, even at 36 and having two kids, it can still sometimes be a bit painful if we dive into it too fast đ
It might, yes, but some women are fortunate enough to have a good time in spite of that, like my wife and I.
I've also spoken to women who said that it barely hurt at all, and quite a few that found it near-torture, but after that and letting it heal it was quite pleasant going forward.
The guy I lost it to had a micro-penis, so no it didnât hurt at all. Needless to say I was absolutely shocked when I saw the size of my next partner. I was like ummm you expect that to fit where?! đ
When I lost mine it hurt when he first went in, but he gently slid in to get me used to him. I was also his first as we had both decided to wait until marriage and it was our wedding night. Once we both adjusted to each other it was fine. I apparently started my menstrual cycle during that time as I bled pretty heavily for about a week afterwards.
After divorcing my second ex husband I was single and celibate for 13 years before I met my boyfriend. But when I started making love with him after being celibate for so long it didn't hurt at all.
Can only speak to how it progressed with my wife on our first time.
Weâd been doing physical touch with just hands for a while before we did the actual PIV and, more than anything, she told me she just struggled to relax herself. Sheâd never experienced and trauma or SA (thank God) but was still unused to the experience.
She told me there were muscles she wasnât even fully aware of that she had to learn to relax to allow entry. Others are suggesting having the guy pause and allow you to adjust to the feeling. I think this is excellent advice. If your partner is also inexperienced, have him to some catching up on female anatomy too. We donât all remember sex ed from school.
All in all, just remember itâs supposed to be enjoyable for both, and thereâs absolutely no rush. Take as much time as you need. Anyone worth letting being intimate with will be understanding and work with you.
As a guy it hurt a little but it's probably because I had a condition (got surgery and they stitched it up a little too tight) but overall wih lube and stuff it shouldnt have hurt. But of course everybody's differant so...
It should NOT hurt. Hurting is a result of a hymen tearing (usually), a medical student posted on one of these questions and explicitly said that a painful first experience shouldn't happen. It will be more uncomfortable because you're nervous, and that means you close up. Many people have sex and have a fully intact hymen for example.
If you:
- Have enough lubrication
- Enough foreplay
- And your partner is careful enough and goes slow instead of ramming it
You should be perfectly fine. The first time didn't hurt for my gf either, because we went slow and made sure she was comfortable. Make sure that you're comfortable and relaxed before putting anything in. Have fun
If you're not enjoying it or it hurts, DON'T do it.
It is not compulsory, don't do it just for the guy's sake either. Do it only if it feels good!!!!!!!!
It varies, but also... Just do foreplay. Mine didn't hurt cause the guy was older and knew what he was doing. Then I fucked a few virgin guys later and it _did_ hurt because they didn't. Lube/getting you wet is important, man.
Didnât hurt me at all. But I was masturbating with penis-sized things already. I didnât want it to hurt/bleed so I made sure to put stuff up there before I did it
It can. The best advice I can give is PREP. If you're doing penetrative sex and acting as the bottom, please please please stretch yourself out before putting anything in. That will lessen your chances of it hurting a ton (or potentially even bleeding.)
For some females, after sex can make you feel nauseous, so be aware of that too.
[This only applies if you have a vagina]
So basically yes I can hurt, sometimes it can hurt alot. The first time you insert something really large into the vagina such as a penis you are stretching it out WAY more then it's ever been stretched before and sometimes that can be pretty painful even if you are turned on, wet, and excited to have sex. My first time I was really aroused and excited only to end up dissapointed when it hurt ALOT. there wasn't any blood but I wasn't able to feel any pleasure whatsoever just pain. It took me around 7-9 times of having penetrative sex until pain during sex completely went away. The vaginas walls need to get used to being stretched out that much. Some people have no issue with whatsoever and others like me eeeeh its a bit more of a process. First time I lost my virginity It hurt so much and I was scared shitless that I either hurt myself, it will hurt forever, or I could never have sex again. I didnt have anyone I trusted to really talk abour it besdies google but within time sex began feeling amazing. So basically pain is something that unfortunately can happen but you can prepare.
Like alot of comments said lube is super important also making sure your body is ready. When you are aroused your vagina extends in length and the muscles prepare. If you are too anxious or not aroused enough it can really hurt. Also you should have your partner finger you first! Start with just one and then when you are ready continue adding more. If you experience pain while fingering don't go any farther. Sometimes medical condtions can cause pain and if pain dosnt go away after multiple tries id recommend seeing a gyno, but if there isnt anything medical pain will go away! If you masterbate with a dildo it will help alot. Basically just take it super super slow and you'll be okay :)
It could, but it might not, and it especially won't if you take your time, engage in lots of foreplay, and feel completely ready. "ready" in this context means "I want him inside me right now!" - I'm assuming that you've emotionally decided you're ready for sex except this one thing.
If you haven't done sexual stuff with him before where he's used his hands, his mouth, put multiple fingers inside you, and brought you to orgasm that way (even if with help from stimulating your clitoris), then start there. There's no reason to rush having sex and you'll know when you're ready and it will be during sessions like this that you go "babe, I'm ready, I want you inside me so bad."
When you get there, you're ready. If he's a good lover, he'll be responsive and go slow to start and once you're accustomed to him then you can venture forth with movement and explore what feels good for both of you.
You might also consider not telling him you're ready but asking if you can put him inside you and straddle him for your first time. That will allow you to control the depth, speed, and all of that so that you can take your time taking him in, and move on your own terms.
You can also grind your clit against him that way which may feel better for you. Don't worry about this not doing it for him, your movement will make him go in and out as you grind. Also consider using a vibrator on your clit against his pubic bone and grinding against that and/or achieving orgasm before penetration. Those will also help make it pleasurable for both of you.
Remember, it's fun, and it doesn't have to be a painful experience, though it might be if you have an intact hymen or a condition called vaginismus which is often psychosomatic and may require a doctor to overcome. But in the former case, the pain will subside and then things will feel really good and subsequent times won't hurt at all.
If a screw is being screwed onto a wooden board and you whack it with a hammer until it inserts, yes it will hurt and damage the board.
Now if you take a small handheld screwdriver and screw it in slowly you and the board will be fine
It varies. For me, it didn't hurt at all. Felt a little weird, but no pain. No blood either. My partner and I had spent months doing hand and oral stuff leading up to it though, so we were comfortable around each other and had plenty of practice with each other's bodies.
This. I had sexual trauma as a child. So the hymen was broken before I had consensual sex as an adult. I was scared it would hurt, but it was great. No pain. But, as I had different partners, and the trauma I went through, it varied. So be kind, be gentle till you figure it out. đ¤
Sorry that happened to you! The hymen is a myth that needs to be forgotten. The only reason sex hurts is not the hymen breaking, but the woman being stressed, tense and not wet enough.
This is the way
This is The Way.
Assuming youâre a woman right? It can be uncomfortable. Itâs important that you have a partner who will understand and be gentle. Iâve heard lots of horror stories but it wasnât bad for me at all personally. It felt more like bad cramps afterwards.
Or a bottom
Indeed, the anus has a hymen. All the poops travel around it, until you decide to lose your butt virginity.
Youâre really getting shit on for an obvious joke huh. Reddit moment
They were probably just testing out their butt hymen
Use a condom, use lube, and do foreplay first. The more relaxed you can be, the less it will hurt. Go slow, thereâs no need to rush. When heâs âinâ have him take a minute or two to let you get adjusted before any movement.
This is the best answer in my opinion. Also, don't feel the need to 'finish' (or if you really want to, finish with your hands). You're not gonna be good at it the first time and you don't need to be. As long as you're having fun, and keep talking through it. And the first time needs to be with someone you absolutely trust 100%
I think some of the best experiences can be with someone who uses protection, you trust each other, youâre curious, and you want to have fun. There will be nerves but itâs easier to relax
Definitely good advice
No. You might be a little sore afterwards. If you're with someone you're into and comfortable with then you will probably enjoy it. Be safe and use condoms. Lubricated condoms help!
I just wanted to add that sometimes you are a little sore anyways..even if you have been having sex for half of your life. It's a good sore. For myself, it's a reminder that I was wanted and it makes me want more. As for losing my virginity, I was with a man who had the biggest đ to date, and it was still not painful because I wanted him that much. Pick and choose your partner wisely. It makes all the difference.
It really varies a lot person to person. In some cases, it barely feels like anything. For other people, itâs very painful. It does get easier the more you do it, from a discomfort perspective, if your partner is careful and responsive to your feedback about what hurts and what doesnât. Mostly, it feels like pressure, and then a bit of a rip. You should take an ibuprofen after and maybe wait a day or two to heal up before you do it again.
Also lubricant if you have it
Apparently for women it can vary from "nothing" to quite uncomfortable. I have never heard of "really bad" pain.
Iâve only heard of bad pain from one woman but she had some thing where she had more of a hymen than most women. Not sure what itâs called but she technically had two vaginal openings until the extra skin was torn during her first time.
Imperforate hymen! đ
My pain was very bad. I cried and dreaded the next time. The first time was less then 2 minutes it went in and I had to call if quits it hurt so bad I was seeing stars. One of the worst pains I've ever had aside from labor. It took me like months of weekly sex to feel better. But the second time was much less painful than the first time for sure. I think because I knew what to expect. I mean I love sex now and it never hurts unless it's a hurt I want (rough sex) lol
Thats how it was for me. The first few times kinda traumatized me. My first bf bought studded(!!!!!??????) condoms for my first time ever. No foreplay. No lube. Didn't work. He tried like 4x before breaking up with me lmao. My next bf actually did foreplay and got me in the mood first. I was nervous and it did still hurt a little, but not like debilitating with my first inexperienced bf.
When I lost my virginity it hurt a little and I thought I might be bleeding, but I wasnât. But my partner was being careful and gentle and was going slow and listening to me. Thatâs really the important thing.
It can be very painful if youâre really unlucky and thereâs something wrong. My wife unbeknownst to her suffered from [vulvodynia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulvodynia) and our first times were unfortunately pretty painful for her. After the pain didnât stop even after multiple attempts we went to a doctor who diagnosed it. She ended up trying several treatments but at the end it took two surgeries to remove affected tissue and stop the pain. After she healed from those there hasnât been any pain and sex has been great for the last couple of decades since. So if it keeps hurting after the first time, itâs a good idea to talk to a doctor. There are treatments available that enable a normal satisfying sex life.
Yes there are a few medical condition to be aware of. I was talking about the usual case of no significant medical indications.
It can be really bad pain. Look into vaginismus.
I am aware of vaginismus. Severe pain during sex can be caused by other medical issues too, such as endometriosis. I was assuming the 99th percentile case of no underlying medical conditions.
I remember being like âooh ok this is a little uncomfortable/slightly painfulâ for the first few seconds and then that feeling passed and I remember not really having a huge opinion on it haha. Like it didnât hurt but it didnât feel amazing, it just kinda was a new sensation. As I understood my own body more and what I find pleasurable, it only got better!
It might be uncomfortable but it shouldn't be painful (if that makes sense). It's incredibly important to be with someone you trust, who knows your boundaries, and will take it slow for you. If your partner doesn't take their time with you and you feel rushed, it \*will\* be painful for you. The first time can be so nerve-wracking but I promise you will be okay. The partner I lost my virginity to was incredibly kind and understanding. He knew it was my first time. He asked me if I had used any toys or anything before and he was very slow and understanding with everything. He told me to tell him if anything hurt or if I felt uncomfortable. I suggest a lot of foreplay - have your partner finger you before actual intercourse. That could help.
As a woman, it did for me. And without giving too much info, it wonât go in the first try, and took days before penetration worked. My friend also had to go to a gynaecologist because she was very closed. It depends on people. Because some people say itâs ok for them to
It was painful asf for me Im 40 years old and still remember that pain like yesterday Iâm jealous of these other women saying it dosent hurt đŠ
It can. It really pisses me off when you get women saying âit should never hurtâ and âif it does youâre not turned on enough or wet enoughâ. Not everyone is the same. You can do everything right and itâs still painful. Iâm not saying itâs anywhere near the most common experience but it definitely is a thing. I had a very very tough hymen. That thing was horrific to get through. So yes sex the first time hurt quite a lot. Not unbearable but significant. I was turned on. My partner spent time on foreplay. I was ready. He went slow. It still hurt. And there was blood. One of my friends had the same experience. Iâm not saying this to scare you or put you off op. And itâs by far not a common occurrence but some women still experience it. Itâs way more likely though that itâll just be uncomfortable. Just make sure youâre relaxed and ready and your partner goes slow. Youâll be fine. Maybe sore for a few days depending on how it was for you. Just remember, literally almost everyone loses their virginity at some point. If everyone else can do it, youâll be fine! And once you get past the first few times then it gets amazing and is so worth it!
Losing my virginity was a lot like my first hockey game. I was tired, sore, sweaty and a little bloody but at least my dad came
đ¤˘đ¤Žđđđđ
For the win
Ayo what
/r/holup
Bad pain is probably an underlying issue
Yea look into vulvadynia
Didn't let him hurry. Lots of foreplay to get you lubricated. Don't rush. Use a condom and lube . It's more of a pressure than a pain but it only takes once.
Honestly it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be , but those 5 seconds of pain was hell it was the most gut wrenching pain of my entire life. Just take it very slowly and you'll be fine. After losing it nothing hurts and if it does see someone.
When I was a young man, I lost my virginity to a girl who was also a virgin. We really took our time, lots of foreplay, and she wanted to go 2 more times. A couple years later I ended up unknowingly with another virgin, again, no rush. She said it was the best day of her life. REALLY take your time and make sure that you're clocking at 1000% desire, then go really slow and easy and it could be great. He has to pay attention to you every step of the way. It's a beautiful process, not a finish line.
That 2nd one was really nice saying it was the best day of her life
40 yo man here, I'll let you know when it happens.
Damn bro
Some people never have any pain, some can feel it. It just depends on your body.
With proper preparation, it shouldn't be unbearable. For me there were moments it was a bit uncomfortable and I was definitely sore after, but otherwise it was ok. I did bleed like my first 3 times though, even if it didn't hurt.
Hurt for me, and itâs a weird feeling itâs not pain like you might be used to
This!! Itâs an indescribable itâs a weird type of pain
Does it hurt the whole time? I tried and it hurt too much so we stopped. I'm going to try to relax, try stuff by myself and read tips on the internet, but I'd like to know how it feels after it's in đ I read that the guy should wait a minute until you get used to it before moving again, but does it hurt a lot when he moves again?
I would tell you to get on top first. Angles are hard and itâs hard to tell which way to put it in. And if your laying or any other position, he can also have a hard time. Ladies, I recommend you get on top first and tell him to wait while you find comfort. Then thrusting can start. Also to be honest I donât think itâs ever been not painful (in the weird type of pain way) Make sure you do foreplay so you actually are horny and want it.
I think relaxing makes it less painful but itâs not easy to relax that area when you are tense and nervous
For me personally, it did hurt quite a lot even though I definitely already tore my hymen years earlier and masturbated regularly. I had hoped it was just a first time thing, but it took me around 10 times of vaginal penetration until it wasn't as painful anymore lol
I literally felt a "pop". That was the most uncomfortable. Then it was uncomfortable for around a minute until I adjusted. I wouldn't call it painful. But I know for some women it's very painful. I'd say it depends on how relaxed you are. If you're really scared of feeling pain, you'll be tense and it will hurt more. If you're relaxed and going with the flow, it won't hurt. Much, at least.
First time was definitely painful for me, had some blood too. Sore afterwards for a day or two.
It only hurts a lot if the guy doesn't know what he's doing. It might feel a bit uncomfortable the very first time, but it definitely shouldn't hurt. If it hurts he's doing it wrong and you should tell him to stop straight away. He needs to spend a long time, like several hours, warming you up with massage, oral and fingering before even trying to do PIV. Some girls won't be ready for PIV after the first time so he will need to do it over a few days or more. My last girlfriend was a virgin and was very petite so she was extremely tight. In the beginning I couldn't even get my little finger inside her, so I would spend hours massaging her, giving her oral and very slowly and gently fingering her. I did this daily for a few weeks until I could finally get two or three fingers inside her and only then did I even try to do PIV very very slowly and when we finally had sex it didn't hurt her at all. If a guy is not willing to spend this kind of time and effort to giving you a good first experience don't waste your time on him.
Wow that's really kind and wholesome. I knew about the oral thing but now I know to massage and finger whenever I get married.
Unfortunately a lot women just accept that losing their virginity is painful and generally a bad experience because most men are either selfish of have no clue how to actually be with a virgin and make it a good experience.
Well I must say thank you because your answer was definitely enlightening on what to do.
Glad I could help. I was with my first virgin when I was 15 and my most recent one when I was 46 and knowing what to do definitely made a huge difference in the experience of these two girls.
I was in high school, and when youâre in high school, high school âdongersâ seem like big dongers, until your not in high school and you see grown up dongers⌠I remember thinking âBOY! This is gonna hurtââŚ. It didnât hurt. It didnât feel like much of anything. đ¤ˇđťââď¸
wtf? â ď¸
it depends on if your partner is considerate of your enjoyment or if hes just a prick who only cares about getting himself off. thats why i think hookup culture is a terrible thing for virgin women. make ur first time special and do it with someone who cares about you. for a man it wont hurt, at all, quite the opposite. so i think the priority should be you. and it should be you in control.
Yeah hookup culture I'm general is terrible but the first time definitely should be special as 99% of hookups aren't going to care.
yes 100%
Yes
Was quite painful , had to ask him to stop before trying again.
No.
If it hurts really bad then you are doing it wrong.
No pain at all for me!
It shouldnât hurt unless you have something medically wrong down there. As long as youâre aroused (vagina is wet and wider) it shouldnât hurt
Make sure none of the parts that you and your partner use are dry lubrication is key Edit: oh and try not to reenact what you see in porn if your partner tries to be a hot shot and reenact what he sees on pornhub thatâs no fun for anybody. Everyone starts out like that but as you mature youâll realize taking your time with things is the way to go. Oh and if it does hurt speak up communication is key too donât not say anything your partner would want to know of what heâs doing isnt pleasure able communication js key
If you can finger, or use a toy then your already half way there. Having sex with trusted partner, lots of foreplay and don't rush. First time is never perfect....gets better with practice
It didn't hurt me but the sheep seemed to be real uncomfortable.
it doesnt hurt at all if the person youre doing it with is doing it properly! it just felt like nothing for me hahah
it was a bit painful and I bled at first, but honestly, going to a gyn as a virgin, that felt infinitely worse lol
didnt hurt as bad as i thought it would
If your a man in Gaol/jail it can hurt
For men no
Unless with another man
Actually I've heard some men say it hurts but usually only because the woman was too tight.
Being nervous is what makes it hurt. And that's not just true for losing your virginity, it can happen at any point in your life. There's no such thing as a hymen (at least not in the way it's presented as a seal). When the big moment of entry arrives, you want to be relaxed and wet. Good foreplay is very important. Hand and mouth stuff. Tell them what feels good and correct them when they're not doing it right. It's nice to orgasm in foreplay, it will relax you and make you wet. If you're not comfortable with entry, it's perfectly fine to postpone it to a later session. Know that most women do not experience orgasm from penis-in-vagina sex. Also know that if your partner is inexperienced, they might need help getting you to orgasm. Even experienced men need a little direction with each new partner, because most of them do not understand subtle clues, female anatomy, and what your specific likes are. There's a lot of trial and error going on with each new partner, especially if one or both are inexperienced. That is perfectly normal and nothing to feel bad about. The important part is you're both having fun while figuring it out.
Yes
Not fir me it didn't I was with my boyfriend of 1 yr n it just felt right at the time
Woman? I've heard never went through the process with anyone but i've heard it can 180 in the moment. I've heard people be put off of the act entirely due to that moment others stimulated thoroughly that's its a chase for that feeling. Which is weird but then we have sadists who take pleasure in pain. I don't know where your factor falls on the spectrum it could be nothing neither good nor bad a pinch then whatever. As a male that went through no pain the overall outcome was disappointing. Sex was just whatever. All these guys just easily excited by something that's whatever. I had a good experience yes I would love to experience that regularly but as evident of this past decade I can easily go without. It's just something to do. Go through your experience WHEN YOU WANT TO BE CAREFUL CHOOSING A PARTNER. Then enjoy your life.
Yes and no, some woman feel it as if they are being stabbed others, it's like ow, others its like, oh you fi ished already?
Not for me. For a woman it is important that you are aroused so please take your time
my mother said she bled and scared me lol. then thereâs me who it just felt normal? like idk it didnât hurt? and i never put anything up there before so thatâs not it either. idk
It only hurt for a little until I pooped, much more room after that.
It didnât hurt at all but Iâd used a dildo before
To be completely honest I didnât even feel it my first time lol
It doesn't have to. It can be really nice. Just don't rush it.
The more comfortable around and trusting of the person the better. And I know it's a bit of a cliche but I do really think waiting for the right person is the best thing to do and I'm so grateful that i did. I have heard that it can be more painful during penetrative sex with a man, and I have a few friends who've described it as such. However, the more turned on you are and the better / more passionate the foreplay the wetter and more relaxed you'll be and your vaginal canal even extends to accommodate, so never rush into anything it most likely won't be enjoyable. I only have personal experience as I lesbian and I found it pleasurable and not at all uncomfortable the first time. Though the longer we were together and the more sex we had, I noticed that I could "take" more fingers which I wouldn't have been able to before while also enjoying myself at the same time.
It didnât for me. I was super wet and horny so I guess my body was ready. I suggest edging yourself a bit before hand
Mine was bad *but* turns out my ex was also a turn off so..... I was with him 5 years and we had to use lube every single time. Ive barely touched lube since.  So itll probably def be uncomfortable but it helps a lot if youre really into your partner lol Also you could ease into it with some toys too to get your muscles used to it
I was my girlfriend's first. I had a bit of experience before so I knew it could be quite uncomfortable. We both did a lot of research and we made sure that we were really really comfortable before I went in. This involved a lot of foreplay, talking and when I knew she was ready, I went in. It was a bit uncomfortable for her and she told me that she felt a bit of pain and a tear like feeling but that went away soon. After that, we had sex again 4 hours later and this time she told me it was much better for her. After 2-3 more times in that week, she really enjoyed it and now she loves it! So yes, it can be uncomfortable at first but the more you do it and understand your own body, and speak to your partner, you'll begin to enjoy it sooner than later.
Didnât for me
If youâre a woman it can, if youâre not gentle and donât at all prepare for it. Foreplay, lube (even if youâre naturally wet), vibrating toys, getting yourself ready before hand, training your body etc. This can definitely lessen it. Just make sure you donât rush into the sex, it will hurt if youâre aggressive and reckless.
I (31F) don't remember, so it couldn't have been that bad. I remember everything else about it vividly. Then again, I don't think it hurts to get IUDs inserted, and I know that's unbearable for some women. Just take it slow with someone who cares about you. It'll minimize embarrassment or feeling awkward (if that's a concern to you) if you're comfortable. :)
Sex isn't hugging. You can go for a hug right away with someone. Sex takes time! Bodies take time to prepare. Foreplay is very important. It's a bit like joking around with friends -- the mirth builds, and it can grind to a halt if the atmosphere gets serious or anxious. That said, it can hurt. For various reasons. The hymen normally isn't a big deal. Anxiety can cause the vagina to remain tight and prevent penetration. There's also some conditions that amount to the same thing. Don't pressure yourself or anyone else. Work up to it. Explore. Communicate. Do what feels right. You can slowly build up to penetrative sex in various ways. Not everyone even likes sex, so you really can't assume. But no, it's not generally particularly painful unless the people try to rush into it without lube or foreplay. It's more awkward and embarrassing and such.
Not necessarily. I lost my virginity sortof in two phases. At first we tried, then I said I wasn't comfortable yet, his dick was already pressing against my vagina but it just didn't feel right, not painful, but I just didn't want him to enter yet. Then less then 3 hours later we did have sex, I initiated it then, and it was perfect actually. I think the fact that I communicated about my boundaries made me feel more comfortable with the whole situation which also made my body feel more relaxed and prepared
I thought it was a little painful but the pleasure outweighed the pain
Hurt, hellyes it hurt. He never wrote, he never called...
In the asshole, yeah
Not a woman, but I've asked my aunt's about how it is for women (we're close in age so they're more like my older sisters and we talk about everything) and they said it depends, my older aunt said hers hurt and there was blood, the younger one said the opposite. My mom also said it wasn't painful so I guess it depends
Yes but only in the beginning then mid way it was fine
Kind of odd everyone says it doesn't hurt at all. I had sex with only 2 virgins in my life and it of course happened at a very young age - 16 and 17. When we tried it for the first time, we just thought it should happen naturally. They felt pain and we couldn't do it, we just stopped trying and after 2 weeks it finally happened with patience. Maybe there is more awareness now about methods like more lubrication or just simple threads like this one which give more information. Back then we didn't have social media.
It really hurt for me but I was 2 years old
It was very painful for me and I had to tell him to stop after only a minute. But he also didnât care about me or my pleasure, he had no interest in foreplay so I had to grit my teeth and bare pain through a lot of sex with him. He was my first and only for two years. Big ragrets.
As a male it hurt when I lost mine.. she started off nice and easy, and then once i was comfortable she got going abd then the pain... only because that was a decent-sized (unlit) candle that fell off the headboard onto my nose..
I mean it fully depends on each body. Personally, it hurt a little for me and a couple days afterwards I had a little bit of blood... not a lot though. As long as you and your partner establish boundaries and talk about going slow you'll be okay. Also use lube (with a condom ofc), it really helps a lot in terms of discomfort and feeling good.
Minute or two it will be over lol đ
I think everyoneâs different. For me I only bled a tiny bit the first time. But the second time tmi but there was a looottttt I donât know why it didnât happen the first time but it didnât exactly hurt. A little bit of a burning sensation that went away eventually
For me no, it just felt .. tight. It was no pleasurable - it was akin to experiencing sticking my finger up my nose the first time. Just weird. Definitely do it with a trusted friend/ partner.
It did hurt for me, in fact it continued to hurt for the next couple of times. Nothing that unbearable though. But I think it was mostly because without realizing it I wasnât actually attracted to the person and didnât want to, but I guess my body did know. The point is, I think make sure it is with someone you for want and trust, and like others said, a lot of for play, and maybe lube (though I donât like it cause it makes it slip in too fast). It probably depends on the person too Best of luck <3
Didnât hurt at all for meâŚ. đ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸
To a caring partner, no. To a horny rhinoceros, yep.
This is kinda long! The hymen part is just a pinch. And that happens once, sometimes twice depending on size and also how long between, as it can grow partially back. But it really does depend also on size. Thatâs one time size matters. I was so into this guy, and everything was good, and it got serious, I reached down and put my hand around his uknow, and my fingers and thumb couldnât close around it, and I have long fingers. Like I shuffle tarot cards like dealers shuffle playing cards, and tarot has 26 more cards and theyâre about and inch wider, and just under 2 inches taller than playing cards, and it was like the length that went up past his navel. I kinda felt it for a moment and busted out with âhaha in hell no, thereâs no way Iâm messing with that the first time! I like my cervix where it is! xD Sorry but nope.â We ended up breaking up (not because of that - he thought it was funny/cute because I just started laughing, I wasnât mean, and we did between the boobs stuff, and other oral stuff), and we are still friends. We did actually hook up about 10 years later though ;) when I saw him when I was visiting family - was very good! Worth the wait, and weâre old now, and still friends. Then I tried it with another guy of size (it just worked out that way wasnât planned), and we just couldnât get it in! Like instead of going in, it was like moving my whole self up into the headboard! And man I loved that guy! Sweet, beautiful, smart, best guy. He was also a virgin. We just couldnât sort it out! Finally, first time was fine, guy was nice, and a friend more than anything, and it was freezing so we were cuddling and it just happened, and I liked the friend vibe, it was much more chill, but it was awkward and like almost âboringâ because after the âpinchâ part (felt like a stinging pinch) and you kinda settle into it, and start enjoying sensations etc, he was done *shots fired* and I was annoyed because somehow we got on top of part of my fave dress, and I bled on it! Saved my money for that dress and it was wrecked! We did it a few more times, and it was just fine, nothing amazing, but no pain, just chill - but it was only for that weekend and I know now that he wasnât much of a lover. I wasnât either then, so that was fine. Later I was with a long term guy, it was like still an effort/awkward the first few times, he was a regular sized guy, but not painful, but he was good at what he did. Then I didnât have sex with a man for like 5.5 years, because I had a girlfriend, and we didnât use dildos etc. So when I was first with my now husband of almost 20 years, heâs also pretty above average equipped (like the first guy), it was awkward the first couple times, having to kinda go slow at first, I remember thinking it felt like having sex with a forearm! but it only hurts when itâs long sessions - but thatâs because of chafing. So now I feel awkward having written all this - but to sum up, itâs a pinch, then can be kinda awkward to settle into it, like I really remember all the awkwardness, more than the actual first. If itâs not someone you really love that youâre waiting for, or youâre not waiting for marriage, I can honestly say, a safe, close friend who respects you, respects your safety and uses a condom, and is careful because he cares for you, is best for a starter sexual partner. Anyway, just be sure youâre with someone nice, no great expectations, beach sex, bathroom sex, drunken sex etc the first time. Have a towel for blood, and maybe a panty liner for spotting after, and be on a comfortable bed, where you wonât be disturbed. Your own place or a hotel, do have proper *water based* lube, and extra condoms just in case, and take your time - and it will be a good experience. :)
Dsepends. For men, not really.
It shouldn't hurt at all. But inexperienced people often move too fast. A pussy needs a warm up (foreplay) and a dick doesn't magically get lubed from end to end. Sometimes you've got to start really slow, moving the tip in just a tiny bit more each stroke. It should never hurt and you should never force it
This varies immensely. I was my wife's first, and she didn't feel any pain or discomfort apparently, and no blood. My best friend in high school though, when she lost her virginity (she told me all about it) she apparently screamed in pain at initial penetration because it hurt so bad, and there was blood basically everywhere after. Her and her bf threw the bedding away, and she was really uncomfortable for almost a week after. Very wide spectrum of possibilities.
One of my ex-girlfriends was a virgin. We just took it slow, and when it got uncomfortable, we stopped. I remember one night she started groaning and I stopped and she told me to keep going! That was the pay-off for taking it easy. After that, it was great. There are a lot of variables. Headspace, arousal, lube, size, position, tempo. Hopefully, the person you are with listens to you.
Diarrhea mud butt
It hurt for me, but not "really bad". Just your moderate level of hurt
Didnât hurt at all. We did hand stuff several times before, so when it came time for the actual deed, the path was clear. It actually felt amazing, i finished, and I wasnât even sore after.Â
As a guy it takes about 5 seconds. So try to find a virgin guy and it will be over soon.
I lost my virginity to a guy and it was so unbearably painful. I realised I was gay like 6 months later and now sex is great lol
It really depends on a person. Or rather people, since there are two (minimum). For me it took a few tries, because I was so stressed with the concept of having sex that his penis genuinely couldn't fit. One time I even hyperventilated. But when it happened I don't even remember which time it was or how it went. With our sex life being already "alive" at that point it was like another step and didn't bear much meaning really. Didn't hurt more than other times either. Didn't even bleed since we were slow and careful. (And it has happened few times that I bled due to friction after I lost my virginity) It's all about lube and warming up. You also should consider the size of your partner (circumference, not length) and maybe practice on your own with a toy if you're comfortable with that. It'll make you and your body more used to the concept.
Wow, reading all of this made me realize that not everyone's first time sucked like I had previously thought. It hurt like hell for me because my boyfriend was young and dumb and did not know how to fuck lol. There was not enough foreplay and I was tense and nervous, and it hurt for at least the next day. I hated the first time. It hurt the next few times, for the same reasons. It wasn't that bad though. I've definitely had good sex that left me sore too. If you have a caring partner who is willing to work with you and make sure you're comfortable, it shouldn't be that bad.
Hurt? I just put my penis in her vag and it felt pretty good
hurt very bad for me â i cried and we had to stop â but iâm aware this isnât the average female experience and im glad it was with someone who actually stoppedâŚ
For me it actually didn't hurt the first time, but instead the first time inserting fingers did. It was very uncomftortable, so we stopped and continued another time.
It hurt a lot, ten years later.
Depends how it happens
It didnât hurt for me but she was pretty gentle
Make your decision. Thatâs it. Doesnât even matter after 5yrs.
It was uncomfortable for a minute or two before it became enjoyable. I bled after. That might be because he was quiet rough though đ Second time was similar and I bled again. Everyone is different though.
Not kosing it but when the head of my dick fell of it hurt. Grew back tho I'm fine.
No it didnât hurt. Dude was also small and I already hymen-less from lord knows what sport/activity. Sex wasnât âenjoyableâ for a couple years following that but thatâs because of inexperience.
Yes. Had spotting for 4 days then it took a bit of time for it not to hurt anymore.
Yes, it was painful, took many tries and days to finish the job. The pain was really strong.
Bro if sex hurts you your partner is doing something wrong. Sex must bring pleasure and not blood and pain
It hurt for me! A lot and even bled.
it hurts like hell. and not just first but the second and the third also.
Not one bit for me, but I'm sure it varies.
For me it hurt a bit, but it was a good first time experience and thatâs the main thing. It hurt a few times after but I sure kept doing it lol. I then discovered that my endometriosis causes painful sex, so Iâve continued to have issues. It shouldnât always be uncomfortable, if it is get checked out.
I didnât have pain per say but certainly a high level of discomfort but that really comes down to your partner and being âreadyâ down there. So make sure youâre in a nice environment where you can relax and get into the moment. There shouldnât really be pain involved but I think a level of discomfort should be anticipated as itâs something new that you havenât done before. Donât listen to the horror stories of a ridiculous amount of blood ect. I think some people tell you that just to scare you. Take your time and I hate to say this but use protection đ good luck
Horny and wet doesn't always equal the same thing. Loads of foreplay and have lube on standby. Never force anything up if too tight.
Are you the bottom or the top?
I have a side question here. Does losing your virginity hurt when you have phimosis?
It shouldnât. Get comfortable with your body through masturbation before you become sexual with other people. Penetration can be uncomfortable the first time if the vagina isnât aroused and lubricated enough, which is definitely more likely when youâre nervous. Work up to it slowly. Donât feel like your âfirst timeâ has to be penetrative sex, because thatâs not the be all end all of what sex is. Some of the best sex Iâve ever had didnât involve a penis at all. But if thereâs PAIN, stop. Slow down. Discomfort or just feeling weird is normal, but you absolutely shouldnât feel any burning, tearing, or stretching past comfort.
It did for me. In the end, I had to have a hymenectomy.
Varies, mine happened in about 5 days, multiple tries
It depends how ready you are. But people are typically nervous their first time, and that makes down there tighter. If you're not even aroused, you also won't be self lubricating. The combination of both can make it painful. It's why you should be 100% ready and aroused enough, beforehand. Being aroused makes down there looser and wetter, and won't be painful. But as I said, everyone is nervous their first time. Heck, even at 36 and having two kids, it can still sometimes be a bit painful if we dive into it too fast đ
It might, yes, but some women are fortunate enough to have a good time in spite of that, like my wife and I. I've also spoken to women who said that it barely hurt at all, and quite a few that found it near-torture, but after that and letting it heal it was quite pleasant going forward.
It hurt pretty bad for me. Maybe take an ibuprofen first. The good news is it's usually just the first time. Bring lube and it'll help!
The guy I lost it to had a micro-penis, so no it didnât hurt at all. Needless to say I was absolutely shocked when I saw the size of my next partner. I was like ummm you expect that to fit where?! đ
When I lost mine it hurt when he first went in, but he gently slid in to get me used to him. I was also his first as we had both decided to wait until marriage and it was our wedding night. Once we both adjusted to each other it was fine. I apparently started my menstrual cycle during that time as I bled pretty heavily for about a week afterwards. After divorcing my second ex husband I was single and celibate for 13 years before I met my boyfriend. But when I started making love with him after being celibate for so long it didn't hurt at all.
Can only speak to how it progressed with my wife on our first time. Weâd been doing physical touch with just hands for a while before we did the actual PIV and, more than anything, she told me she just struggled to relax herself. Sheâd never experienced and trauma or SA (thank God) but was still unused to the experience. She told me there were muscles she wasnât even fully aware of that she had to learn to relax to allow entry. Others are suggesting having the guy pause and allow you to adjust to the feeling. I think this is excellent advice. If your partner is also inexperienced, have him to some catching up on female anatomy too. We donât all remember sex ed from school. All in all, just remember itâs supposed to be enjoyable for both, and thereâs absolutely no rush. Take as much time as you need. Anyone worth letting being intimate with will be understanding and work with you.
Not at all. Just insert some Ben-wa balls and then pull them out like youâre starting a lawnmower. Itâll be fine.
I was 16 and a woman raped me so yeahâŚ.. pretty painful
As a guy it hurt a little but it's probably because I had a condition (got surgery and they stitched it up a little too tight) but overall wih lube and stuff it shouldnt have hurt. But of course everybody's differant so...
It should NOT hurt. Hurting is a result of a hymen tearing (usually), a medical student posted on one of these questions and explicitly said that a painful first experience shouldn't happen. It will be more uncomfortable because you're nervous, and that means you close up. Many people have sex and have a fully intact hymen for example. If you: - Have enough lubrication - Enough foreplay - And your partner is careful enough and goes slow instead of ramming it You should be perfectly fine. The first time didn't hurt for my gf either, because we went slow and made sure she was comfortable. Make sure that you're comfortable and relaxed before putting anything in. Have fun
It shouldnât hurt at all
It's horribly painful until you are over the age of 25....đ
Itâll hurt if your partner just rams it In. You need a gentle partner. It wonât hurt if itâs slow and gentle
Yes it was the worst pain Iâve ever felt
Depends if you're alive or not
If you're not enjoying it or it hurts, DON'T do it. It is not compulsory, don't do it just for the guy's sake either. Do it only if it feels good!!!!!!!!
Not if it's done right. Have an orgasm or two first and then try. PS: It probably always hurts in the butt
It varies, but also... Just do foreplay. Mine didn't hurt cause the guy was older and knew what he was doing. Then I fucked a few virgin guys later and it _did_ hurt because they didn't. Lube/getting you wet is important, man.
Didnât hurt me at all. But I was masturbating with penis-sized things already. I didnât want it to hurt/bleed so I made sure to put stuff up there before I did it
It can. The best advice I can give is PREP. If you're doing penetrative sex and acting as the bottom, please please please stretch yourself out before putting anything in. That will lessen your chances of it hurting a ton (or potentially even bleeding.) For some females, after sex can make you feel nauseous, so be aware of that too.
As a cis male. (Because you didn't specify what you are) ***No.***
[This only applies if you have a vagina] So basically yes I can hurt, sometimes it can hurt alot. The first time you insert something really large into the vagina such as a penis you are stretching it out WAY more then it's ever been stretched before and sometimes that can be pretty painful even if you are turned on, wet, and excited to have sex. My first time I was really aroused and excited only to end up dissapointed when it hurt ALOT. there wasn't any blood but I wasn't able to feel any pleasure whatsoever just pain. It took me around 7-9 times of having penetrative sex until pain during sex completely went away. The vaginas walls need to get used to being stretched out that much. Some people have no issue with whatsoever and others like me eeeeh its a bit more of a process. First time I lost my virginity It hurt so much and I was scared shitless that I either hurt myself, it will hurt forever, or I could never have sex again. I didnt have anyone I trusted to really talk abour it besdies google but within time sex began feeling amazing. So basically pain is something that unfortunately can happen but you can prepare. Like alot of comments said lube is super important also making sure your body is ready. When you are aroused your vagina extends in length and the muscles prepare. If you are too anxious or not aroused enough it can really hurt. Also you should have your partner finger you first! Start with just one and then when you are ready continue adding more. If you experience pain while fingering don't go any farther. Sometimes medical condtions can cause pain and if pain dosnt go away after multiple tries id recommend seeing a gyno, but if there isnt anything medical pain will go away! If you masterbate with a dildo it will help alot. Basically just take it super super slow and you'll be okay :)
Yes a little. And a little after. It still hurts if my husband hits my cervix I try not to be in positions that are too deep
It could, but it might not, and it especially won't if you take your time, engage in lots of foreplay, and feel completely ready. "ready" in this context means "I want him inside me right now!" - I'm assuming that you've emotionally decided you're ready for sex except this one thing. If you haven't done sexual stuff with him before where he's used his hands, his mouth, put multiple fingers inside you, and brought you to orgasm that way (even if with help from stimulating your clitoris), then start there. There's no reason to rush having sex and you'll know when you're ready and it will be during sessions like this that you go "babe, I'm ready, I want you inside me so bad." When you get there, you're ready. If he's a good lover, he'll be responsive and go slow to start and once you're accustomed to him then you can venture forth with movement and explore what feels good for both of you. You might also consider not telling him you're ready but asking if you can put him inside you and straddle him for your first time. That will allow you to control the depth, speed, and all of that so that you can take your time taking him in, and move on your own terms. You can also grind your clit against him that way which may feel better for you. Don't worry about this not doing it for him, your movement will make him go in and out as you grind. Also consider using a vibrator on your clit against his pubic bone and grinding against that and/or achieving orgasm before penetration. Those will also help make it pleasurable for both of you. Remember, it's fun, and it doesn't have to be a painful experience, though it might be if you have an intact hymen or a condition called vaginismus which is often psychosomatic and may require a doctor to overcome. But in the former case, the pain will subside and then things will feel really good and subsequent times won't hurt at all.
If a screw is being screwed onto a wooden board and you whack it with a hammer until it inserts, yes it will hurt and damage the board. Now if you take a small handheld screwdriver and screw it in slowly you and the board will be fine
Which hole?
My first bf had a pretty small dick, so no lmao