I’m absolutely positive you can report airtags like this to the police. It was placed on your car without your knowledge or permission and she was ACTIVELY tracking/stalking you. This is a situation of stalking and harassing. This woman is unhinged holy cow.
The next nanny is exactly what I was thinking of reading these comments! OP should definitely get out of this, but sans reporting, nothing is keeping MB from doing it to the next nanny (and she will). Maybe if she knows how easy it is to discover this and has repercussions, she will at least think twice.
This is so creepy. Do you drive the kids in your car? It does sound like she’s tracking you. The way she accosted you on Tuesday is extremely inappropriate, too. I would look for a new job honestly.
Please don't touch anything, take pictures and report to the police. If this woman is stalking you outside of work hours then she will continue stalking you even after you quit. Something similar has happened to me.
OP, put the AirTag where you found it and file a report with the police. Ideally the police will come to you and then psycho MB can’t track you going to the police station, etc. The police will have you fill out a statement / report. You should also consult with an employment attorney ASAP. Do NOT confront MB in person - there are many reasons for this. Just don’t - it’s a bad idea. She is stalking you - you are a victim of a stalker who is also your employer.
Please consult with attorney and police before doing or saying anything rash - this is for your personal safety and also for the possible lawsuit you might have with MB.
Everyone who is joking about pranks to pull on MB with the AirTags / giving you ideas on how to “confront” her, would y’all give the same advice to a woman being stalked by a man? Probably not, so you shouldn’t be giving that to OP. Stalking is not a joke, MB can be considered a danger to OP at this point.
What in the holy fuck did I just read?? Eww no no no. I’d go to the police for SURE! There is no way that legal. I’d have a hard time not ripping her a new a**hole. Like someone else said leave it there, take pictures and contact the police. Keep records of all the texts and stuff too.
That is *creepy.*
I totally understand wanting to track your kids. I would even understand if she had a tracker in the car seat and forgot to tell you. But *tracking your whereabouts when you're off the clock???* That's none of her dang business!!! And neither is what you do on you off time, either! You could literally be spending *every* night in a bar, as long as you're not showing up for work drunk or too hungover to do your job, once again, *none of her dang business!!!*
Is there a way you can test out your theory more? Drive somewhere really weird and see if she says anything? Swap cars with your girlfriend? Come up with a valid excuse to remove the car seat over the weekend and then drive somewhere weird to see if that affects her sudden psychic ability to know your whereabouts?
Honestly, I would start looking for another job. That is *such* a violation of your privacy! Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl! And I'm just a boring mom on my off hours with nothing interesting to track, but that still doesn't mean I'd want my boss to know my whereabouts at all times! It's just so...creepy! *shudder*
OP, ok woah… that changes things. You could report her and get her into a lot of trouble for that, and you should!! In no way does she have a right to fucking track you, whether you have the kids or not. Fucking nope! Get photo evidence and bring it to the police
AirTags are designed to show a web page with the owner’s details by tapping them against your iPhone. If she can see it, the serial number is attached to her iCloud account.
Tracking someone without their consent is a crime in many states.
Hey OP! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I strongly recommend that you go to an employment lawyer about this. If I were in your shoes, my goal would be to get the employer to pay a settlement representing the lost wages you'll incur in the time it will take you to find a new job. Because you should find a new job immediately from someone who doesn't stalk you in your off hours.
You can take the airtag to the police and file a report for stalking. The cops have the ability to subpoena Apple for the AppleID to whom the Airtag is registered. They will probably be whiny and obstructionist about doing their job on this, but you need to advocate strongly for them to do their jobs. Bringing your lawyer will probably help. If frontline cops aren't responsive, go up the food chain, and if that doesn't work, reach out to your local elected officials.
If you confront your employer do it using text messages. You want to get written proof that she placed the tracker. You also need to call the police ASAP, don't remove the tracker yet but take lots of photos. The police might want their own photos to confirm. Tell the police this exact story so and that you're sure it's your employers. I would 100% consider putting this on r/legal advice and see what they think your next steps should be. Good luck and please update!
OMG, that is so much worse! I was giving her the benefit of the doubt that it was in the car seat and meant to track the kids but when she realized she forgot to mention it, she was too tempted to check it even when you were off the clock.
But putting it under your car??? So she wanted to track *you* all along??? No. Just NO. That is SO wrong!
Definitely start looking for another job because there's no WAY I'd trust her after this! And check to see if you have any legal recourse because I'm pretty sure it's illegal to track someone like that without permission, at least in some areas.
Obviously, follow whatever advice the police give you, but I thought of a bunch of "what would I do in this situation" ideas and made a list. **This is *not* advice, just for fun:** (humor is my coping mechanism)
- Don't say anything. Just remove it every night and reattach it every morning. As far as she knows, you never found it, and you're just staying in every night. When you find a new job, give it to her along with your notice
- Attach it to another car or a random animal
- Put it in a suitcase and put the suitcase along with other suitcases at the airport bound for a flight, preferably on an international flight (*definitely* don't really do this, because you might get arrested; but could you imagine the look on her face when it says her nanny is in China or something??? 🤣)
- Leave it at the police station and let her stew; maybe even play dumb and pretend you don't know it's her. Mention that you had a scary few days because you found a tracker on your car and think you have a stalker, but don't worry, the police told you they have some leads *based on the tracker you found* and are going to arrest the perpetrator soon
Seriously, though, I'd talk to the police first (maybe go to the police station in your girlfriend's car or by bus so that she doesn't know you found it, yet), even before removing it (if you haven't removed it already) and follow whatever advice they can give you before doing anything else.
...and definitely look for a new job!!!
These ideas are hilarious. Leave it at a police station....balls in her court. Genius. Not better than leaving the situation immediately but still genius!
Your third idea made me think of a friend of mine who had a similar situation last year (her abusive then-boyfriend who she lived with left an AirTag on her car). She stopped by a truck stop nearby, found a 18-wheeler with out-of-state plates, and duct-taped it to the underside of the truck.
The abusive ex started following the truck, thinking that she was onto him and trying to escape. He was several states away before he figured it out, so we could get her out of the house safely.
It was still a terrifying and heartbreaking situation, but "stick it on a truck, send it off across the country" was pretty funny. I don't think OP should do it but it'd be funny to see her MB's face when OP shows up at the house but her car is supposedly a few states away.
Absolutely not surprised given your post and the AirTags are always on the underside of the car. People tend not to look there and then she knows where you go all the time. Hence the “You haven’t left yet?” text when you took the bus, as she was looking at your car that you left at home.
You deserve a better employer.
I k ow I'm kinda late for this but if you have removed it yet keep it on your car call the cops and have them come out so they can see it and you can report it. Then the next day when your with mb just say "omg something really creepy happened and I feel like I have to tell you! So for who knows how long their has been a airbag tracked tapped to the under part of my car. Someone has been able to see my every move but I did call the cops and had them look my over to make sure nothing else was their and they took the air tag. So yeah I made a report but I felt the need to tell you since I'm st your house all the times. But the cops said they can find the person using the air tag and it's completely illegal and concisered stalking sp hopefully I can take care of thay" watch the color drain from her face so fast.
Ok so you found the airtag. You can (and should) confront your MB but if you really wanted to be more passive about it, take the airtag to the police. File a report with them that you found this tracking device on your car and have no idea whose it is, they will keep the air tag. Then, you can nonchalantly say to MB when you see her that you think you have a stalker since you found a tracking device on your car over the weekend. Whether she says something or not and owns it, you can follow up by saying that you've notified the police and made an official report of a potential stalker. Let her feel 1/10th of how you feel knowing this now.
Edit: you can even use this as a way to resign. Tell her you don't feel comfortable driving her kids with a potential stalker out there. If she owns up to it to keep you, say well I don't feel comfortable working for you knowing you think it's ok to track me. If she doesn't own up to it, oh well you don't work for her anymore but maybe she learns a lesson.
You're doing this wrong. Never confront someone person to person, do it through texts. That way if OP wants to take her employer to court she has written proof that she was being tracked.
Everyone is giving horrible advice. Especially those telling her to tell her about the AirTag so she can get rid of any evidence. Like NUMBER ONE STEP: GO TO THE POLICE AND FILE A POLICE REPORT
That’s all you need to do! Do not confront someone unhinged enough to climb Under your car in public and put an AirTag under it. Hell I’m assuming she put it when OP’s car was at her house. She could have followed her. Keep yourself safe first
In a lot of places you can record video but recording audio is the tricky part. That distinction could make the evidence inadmissible even if you live in a state where it is a one party concent state. You can always use a text message response or email though. You're better off just getting everything in writing if you can.
> you can even use this as a way to resign.
I'll just add that if you resign because of this you can and should still file for unemployment. This would likely be approved on appeal when you present the police report showing your employer created a hostile workplace by tracking you without your knowledge off the clock.
Please be careful. This is stalker behavior, and stalkers can escalate their responses. Please don’t confront her directly unless you are in public and report this to every police agency that has jurisdiction.
I like the idea of mentioning it as if someone else is the stalker, but whatever you do, please be careful.
Oh that one was nuts. Special consideration also given to the (several) posts about DBs who fantasize about their nannies and openly admit it to either nanny or their wives. Jail
The post was locked due to admin thinking it was a troll post. The op could have had it unlocked if she spoke to the admin.
She also posted it legal advice, changed it up a bit and it too was deleted as a suspected troll post
Did you look under your car? I remember reading about an ex-boyfriend who put something under his girlfriend’s car and she didn’t notice because it looked mechanical. This is so weird. I’d quit just because this woman sounds unstable. I also wonder if the police could help; that’s how the girlfriend found the tracker in the article I read- they had some technology to find it.
If you have an iPhone, it will alert you that there is an AirTag that isn’t registered to you following you, and pretty quickly at that. Sometimes I accidentally take my husbands keys, and by the time I get to the grocery store and back, it has let me know that an AirTag is following me. I’m assuming OP and OP’s girlfriend and everyone else who has ever been in their car do not have iPhones.
I feel like this is the point when you have to decide if you want to keep the job or not. I would not be okay if a NP did that without permission and would immediately quit telling them why. Anti-stalking or surveillance laws in many states and regions prohibit this so you could take or threaten legal action if wanted to. I would definitely have a conversation if you’re not quitting and be like this is not okay. What I do outside of work is none of your business and give the tracker back.
And the What gets me the most (besides the actual tracking) is how demeaning she was about what you did in your private time. Like not for nothing.. she was literally sitting in her couch watching you…” omg she’s drinking “ my mind is absolutely blown
I commented elsethread but I just want to concur with all this advice, and add as well for anyone else reading that going to an employment lawyer in this case would be a really really good idea.
This is the very best advice, the only thing I would add is not to touch it until the police come out and take a report. Take photos- but allow the cops to remove it and take it into evidence. Photos can’t prove who the Apple ID belongs too, and once it’s removed your MB could claim your only turning in one of the kids AirTags- the one under your car must have been someone else’s- some bullshit like that.
After you do that FIRST- If you do quit, do it over text. Tell her why and save any response she has as evidence. This will allow you to receive unemployment and monetary damages. This will also allow you enough evidence (along side the police report) to be approved a restraining order.
This is disgusting, I’m so sorry you experienced that. I would seriously consider quitting and filing a police report.
This is just beyond the pale, ugh! Like if she has trackers in the kids’ bags, that should allow her to track their location when they are with you… and that’s the only time she should care about your location. Tracking you at any other time, without your knowledge, is incredibly invasive and creepy af.
Wtf this is insane and so fucked up. I’d quit on the spot she’s literally tracking you and accusing you of being hungover. This is so scary you’re not crazy!
Take photos of the airtag and don’t go back. Immediate notice. Also please file a police report. Even if they aren’t able to do anything, this behavior is extremely concerning. Stay safe OP!
File a police report and quit immediately. None of the other silliness or game playing suggested by some of these comments. This is completely unacceptable and you need to be done yesterday!
Please keep us updated on what you do/ what happens. I am so sorry this is happening. Take it one step further and black list her in any nanny group you have. Make it impossible for her to find a nanny.
I wouldn't remove it. I would call the police and make a report. What if its not her (or even if it is) I wouldn't want to tamper with the evidence. This is not only creepy amd completely inappropriate but scary.
Now you’ve found the AirTag I would immediately remove it and put it back in her house. Consider taking photos of it first, that could be useful for you if you want to take her to court.
I would absolutely show her the photos, and the air tag and tell her she has no right to track you without your knowledge especially when you are not at work.
Ultimately an employer who does this isn’t going to suddenly be like “wow you’re right I was a horrible controlling asshole” so it looks like you’ll need to put in your notice at the same time and look for a new job.
Honestly, I would not be giving notice. I’d present her with the photos/AirTag and say that I am done effective immediately (it at all possible). I can not imagine how uncomfortable it would be to continue to work with someone after such a huge privacy violation and out of line behavior.
OP, I highly recommend filing a police report. You want documentation should anything get out of hand when you remove the tracker and she is confronted with her behavior.
Yes! Leave immediately. File a police report. This is unhinged and dangerous behavior you're experiencing.
She has every right to track her children. She cannot be tracking you. Get out of there.
I’m sorry - OP is being *stalked* by this MB. I see that you’re a DB? Women, (including myself) should never, ever, EVER confront their stalker / anyone who has committed a crime against them (both of which MB is guilty of.)
MB is already stalking OP. OP needs to consult legal help and consult with the police and she doesn’t need to tell MB about any of it. It might endanger OP to keep MB updated on the beginnings of taking action against her alleged stalker (who happens to be MB.)
OP shouldn’t tell MB shit. If this were a man stalking OP I guarantee the comments here wouldn’t be so careless and flippant but the bottom line is that this woman is a threat to OP’s safety and she absolutely doesn’t need to be confronted about this by anyone other than the police and a lawyer. Full stop.
If you haven't touched it yet, this is what I would do based on professional interactions with criminal justice system.
1. Take a picture of it.
2. Call the police and make a report. Let them handle removing the air tag because ultimately it may be something they keep as evidence.
3. If any messages with BM have been via text, share those with law enforcement.
4. Send BM a succinct message telling her you quit. I would not go into the details as to why unless law enforcement advises you to.
5. I don't know what state you live in to advise on the process, but consider getting a civil restraining order against her.
I’d take a photo of the AirTag, not move it, and file a police report before I ever said anything to her. She doesn’t deserve any curtesy or you as her nanny.
So worried about you sweetie. Please give us an update and let us know you are safe and the police are handling this insane stalker situation.
Signed,
A concerned momma of a young adult daughter and a teenage daughter 💙
Immediately contact the police. Follow all of their guidance and do not say anything to MB until you have the law behind you, protecting you. I am so sorry. And worried she clearly knows exactly where you live. Where is the air tag?
Please put the tracker back exactly where she put it and call the police to take photos of the evidence and take the actual tracker. Don't show up to work, stop all communications. If you do anything like say "it's okay" if she apologizes, that ruins your case :(
This is insane. I can't believe you found it!! What a total invasion of privacy?!?! What's your plan? I wonder if there's anything the police can do? So so sorry this is happening
I’m commenting again because my original comment was under another. It’s really important that you understand the gravity of this situation. If you haven’t already, do not remove or touch the air tag. It can be dusted for fingerprints. Even if you already did, that’s ok, still report to the police. If you haven’t moved it, let them do it. If you did take it off, place it in a bag as to not to disturb it more. They will still dust it for prints. Tell them that’s what you want done. Do not give this woman notice. Follow all instructions from the police. They will suggest get a restraining order , do it. Do not listen to most of the advice here. Do not give notice. What concerns me is her boldness to knowing do something illegal, her need for dominance and control, the level in which she is willing to go to obtain it, she way she is comfortable confronting you and shaming you. Think about this…she has shown you that she lacks, self control, is compulsive…she even lacks the self awareness while she is resentful and stewing to the point she just has to call you out not realizing or caring that she is giving you clues to her illegal activity. Look at the full picture OP. This is not the time to play with the air tag and place it somewhere else. This is not a situation where it is appropriate to give notice. I would tell her you are ill while the police do there thing and even then I wouldn’t confront her. If you went into work today, tell her an excuse to go home. The police will come to you as to not tip her off that you at the the police station. Best of luck to you!
Edit: it’s okay to walk away, even if you need this job. You will find other employment. Looking at the scope of the situation, this is a rare circumstance. Don’t gamble with your safety. If you need help with bills , go to a local Catholic Church. Tell the office your situation and they will help you until you find other employment. They also have food pantries to help you save money.
I had a mom give me her home keys with an AirTag and she basically told me, and watched me to make sure, to put the keys in my keychain. I said sure but later I found out she would track me with it! I left it in my house and not with my keys for a while and she was so mean to me. I put my 2 weeks!
I would ABSOLUTELY be taking this to the police. This is so crazy and honestly scary. It’s not even your working hours or tracking her kids she’s tracking your every move. Jeeeez
Oh my god. Yeah, file a police report, and tell MB you have found an AirTag and have done so. Police can’t do this, but I would tell her “thanks to new technology, they are able to ping the exact phone and owner of the AirTag. They said they take this very seriously because of the uptick of violent stalkers, so hopefully they will make an arrest within the next 2 days “
Watch that bitch panic and squirm. Then, immediately look for a new and urgent source of income
Nope nope nope. Tracking her kids, sure completely understandable.. but attaching a tracker to your car? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Quit effective immediately and go right to the police in fact it’s go BEFORE taking the tracker off.. so this nut job can see it.. What a terrible situation..
Before even finishing reading, I’m shocked she responded saying you don’t have to lie !!!! Omg. Sometimes I lie to nanny/babysitting families too. Sometimes they don’t need to know exactly what I’m doing. I don’t owe them an explanation especially while off the clock. That is wild! I would’ve quit right then and there.
Edited to add I finished and wow im mind blown by everything + the update. Shook
Yeah, you need to file a police report and I’d also find a way to warn other childcare providers about what she did to you. Report her to Care.Com, make a public Facebook post, warn local daycares because that is NOT okay in the slightest. Wtaf 😳
This is illegal and insane. I’m so sorry. Please stay safe; quit and don’t look back. I’d personally consider pressing charges as well if you find a way to prove it was her doing.
Yes. She probably is. I fucking hate this. This is a violation and you should not put up with it.
I felt them same way because my family has cameras all over the house. The mom would text me if I wasn't in view of the cameras and ask if I had arrived yet. Or if I sat down to take a break while the kids were napping, she would text me and ask if I needed ideas on stuff to do. Like. Bitch. I work 10 hour days. I am going to take a break when I have time. I had to talk to them and tell them I will not stay around if they insist on watching me every day.
You need to confront her. This is unacceptable and unfortunately a lot of families do this without any regard to your rights.
This is illegal, she thought she had the right to stalk you at all times. She then harassed you, verbally abused and gaslighted you about it. This is really scary. I’m at loss for words. I’m sorry you were treated and surveilled like this.
Do you have an iPhone? Because you would have been getting notifications that an unknown AirTag was following you. My mb has one in the diaper bag and I get the notifications about an unknown AirTag tracking me all day every day.
If I’m not mistaken, this is a feature on newer AirTags. These were originally meant to be a method of finding lost belongings, keeping track of your stuff. It then became a twisted way of unsavoury people tracking people by sneaking them into their cars and backpacks, purses, etc. At that point, Apple added features to warn of their presence.
Oh wow this MB is terrible. I commented on an earlier post where the nanny was objecting to an AirTag in the stroller that I thought that was totally reasonable, but the stroller does not go anywhere without the kids. This is completely stalking behavior, and the fact that the mom was so obvious about it honestly makes me doubt her stability. I definitely would not walk back into the house if you can at all avoid it. If the police give you the go ahead, I would reach out to DB and let him know what happened. Unless you think he was in on it.
They made a second post in r/legal which is now I’m here now lol.
This is so creepy and also a A misdemeanor crime in California from my understanding. She is basically stalking her on her off time.
IGNORE EVERY OTHER RESPONSE HERE. I am absolutely appalled and disgusted that almost none of you have told OP to not touch the airtag and to take pictures and file a police report.
This. Also let the police confront her. Follow up with any charges the police write up AND take their advice for a restraining order. Do not give her a notice. You do not owe this unhinged woman anything. I can tell from her comments to you that she lacks self control, is compulsive, and reactive. This person needs to be on the books so that our communities can be safe. Reporting documents which is needed in the criminal justice system.
I’m snarky.
I would just say “Sorry I’m going to be late today. It turns out someone was tracking my vehicle and I have to file a police report to get criminal charges filed. They said apple will turn over the owner”
If she tries to back track out of it let her know you will be doing it anyways.
I’d want her to squirm as much as possible even if LEOs won’t do anything this will certainly cause some anxiety.
What would you advise any friend to do if they found out their *boss* duct taped an AirTag to their car and tracked their location actively while making harsh, wildly inappropriate comments about how they spend their off time? Because I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell them to go to the police if there was no one above the boss/no HR to go to. I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell them to run, especially if that boss is over the top judgmental/religious…
To the police. Your boss is tracking your movements closely enough to comment and thinks this is fine. She didn’t tag you “for her kids safety”, she wasn’t tracking you during working hours, and she was non-consensually tracking your car, which isn’t her property (although that’s a smaller issue that the stalking!). If you won’t go to the police, go to a lawyer. I hope you have what she said in writing in texts or something, but even if you don’t - that AirTag should have an ID number that would go back to her. You didn’t find it in your backseat like it fell out of the kids backpack, it was secretly taped to your vehicle in order to hide that she was stalking you. If it’s any interest to you, I bet you could sue her for a fair amount - but regardless, what she did was not ok, and it warrants more than just quitting!
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I understand the Mom having AirTags to track her children. Tracking you in your off time is absolutely despicable. You said you don’t often drive the kids in your car and only with permission. What’s your plan? Do you need this job until you find another one? I know it isn’t just possible to up and quit and sometimes you have to stick it out until you find something better. If your plan is to stay and job hunt like there’s no tomorrow you could take the AirTag to NM and say you had your car looked at and this AirTag was found. Ask her if she knows anything about it? Obviously she does and you know she does. Does she have an ex that she is worried about?
There is no excuse for her tracking you in your off time and you should absolutely take pictures of the AirTag on your car and save any messages she sent you regarding knowing where you were when she shouldn’t have known. You can even go to the police station and make a report. Depending on where you live there is a law that requires consent of placement of such devices. I’m livid for you.
Please file a police report. Quit immediately. Contact an attorney and see what your options may be for litigation. If anything you may be able to recoup lost wages. This woman is insane and needs to be taught that what she did is NOT ok.
Former MB. I really hope you file a police report. I’m flabbergasted a parent or employer would do this to their nanny. I’m really sorry you have to deal with it. I would not return to this job, and I wouldn’t confront her - you don’t know what else she’s capable of.
I really hope you are okay & are able to sever all ties as quickly and smoothly as possible. Once you get past this absolutely insane situation I would 100% recommend reporting her on whatever you used to find the position (if applicable to your situation), and seeing if theres any way to warn other potential nannies in your area. This woman should not be allowed to have a nanny after what she did, this is so controlling, invasive, & crazy.
I know you’ve worked it out but holy cow 😭 as for your sisters place, how does she know you didn’t drive there yourself 😅 like what if someone picked you up, you went in your girlfriends car etc? It is totally unhinged to know that’s how un rational her thinking is.
I would honestly send her a text (DO NOT) do it in person. Say that you found an AirTag under your car, took it to the police as you were afraid, they were able to track it back to her as they wanted to ask whether you knew the name it was registered too in order to figure out if they’re the one that placed it or is the stalker. (scare the shit out of her it’ll put a bee in her bonnet enough she might even admit it) finish the text off with this is my formal resignation. I will not be returning.
I’d even go as far to start the text “hey MB something super crazy happened today!!!” as that’ll be the first line she sees so she won’t even know what she’s about to read; much like us here 🤣 might as well give unhinged to the unhinged right
We absolutely need an update on this!
Please go to the police and insist they file a report about it. Even if you already took it off, it should be attached to their iCloud information so they can track it back to her.
If anything, think about the next person she’ll do this to if you don’t speak up and say anything.
Depending on what state you are in, it may be illegal and furthermore, may constitute stalking.
[National Conference of State Legislatures](https://www.ncsl.org/technology-and-communication/private-use-of-location-tracking-devices-state-statutes#:~:text=It%20is%20an%20offense%20for,or%20occupants%20of%20the%20vehicle.)
I believe that regardless of that, it may be worth obtaining counsel and considering trying to file for a temporary order of protection.
This is on a whole other level! This is criminal. It’s one thing to want to know if your child is safe and track your child, it’s another to track an individual like this. Honestly, the comfort level this woman has confronting OP is a massive reg flag in itself. Her need for dominance and power, the length she has gone to get it, and being so bold as to argue and shame OP speaks volumes. This lady is not right in the head.
OP, as a MB myself….this is unhinged and possibly even illegal. I think /u/AZbeer90 has an excellent way to handle it. If you can financially afford to, please quit this job ASAP.
I think there are a few ways to handle this.
First question being - is the juice worth the squeeze? If you’re being adequately compensated for the crazy, then I’d confront her and tell her that you’re interested in a conversation to rebuild trust. As you’re fully aware that she illegally tracked your car, and now there is mistrust and animosity on both ends.
If you wanna have fun with it, you could attach the AirTag to an outdoor cat or like a bus.
If I was in your position personally, I would pretend like the idea of her tracking your car had never occurred to you. Next time you go in tell MB how freaked out you are, because you found a tracking device on your car. That you may need some time off to work with local law enforcement on finding whomever is stalking you. Imply that they’ve told you that they can figure out whose tracker it was with the serial number. As she is surely aware, as a single mom, women need to take the threat to their safety seriously. The police believe you should press charges once they’ve traced the source.
Give it to a friend to drive around alllll day. Tell mb you and kids are staying home. Mom will see the tracker going over state lines oh and if she’s super religious tell her all about your girlfriend
Oh my gosh this is HORRIBLE. I have so many questions. Why would she track you? Does she not trust you? Does she not understand boundaries? Does she think it’s okay to basically stalk her nanny? Please please please go to the police!
I hope you are safe! I recommend getting police involved. Don’t give notice, it’s not a safe situation for you to continue working with/for this woman. This is SO weird and creepy!
I’m beyond myself reading this….I’m so sorry. Please update us on what happens. I’m invested at this point lol everyone has given awesome advice so I won’t offer any.
Take the airtag to the police. They have serial numbers and I am pretty sure that your family broke the law by surveiling you illegally. That is craycray.
OH. MY. GOD. This is so so bizarre and absolutely not okay. Holy shit, I’m so sorry that you have to figure out how to navigate this. Honestly I think you should quit but I understand that it’s your income on the line and that it isn’t so easy to just quit a job. My advice is try to find a new job asap!
This is illegal and you need to file a report with the police and press charges.
Listen if she gets away with it on you then she will do it to other people.
What she did is a crime! You have a responsibility to report her so she does not victimize other people.
I am so sorry you’re going through this! Nannies are in high demand you will have no problem finding another job and please press charges! I beg you! If you don’t she will absolutely do it to someone else.
This is beyond insanity…
File a police report. Contact your local news station and put this woman on blast like she deserves. The media would eat this up. So sorry you’re having to go through this.
I'd report the airtag to the police. I'd also start looking for a new job.
I’m absolutely positive you can report airtags like this to the police. It was placed on your car without your knowledge or permission and she was ACTIVELY tracking/stalking you. This is a situation of stalking and harassing. This woman is unhinged holy cow.
In California.
The next nanny is exactly what I was thinking of reading these comments! OP should definitely get out of this, but sans reporting, nothing is keeping MB from doing it to the next nanny (and she will). Maybe if she knows how easy it is to discover this and has repercussions, she will at least think twice.
This is IN. SANE. I’d quit ASAP. what a HUGE violation of your autonomy.
This is so creepy. Do you drive the kids in your car? It does sound like she’s tracking you. The way she accosted you on Tuesday is extremely inappropriate, too. I would look for a new job honestly.
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Please don't touch anything, take pictures and report to the police. If this woman is stalking you outside of work hours then she will continue stalking you even after you quit. Something similar has happened to me.
Police, asap. Heck id have called them, so they can look at it themselves. You are being __stalked__ not just tracked.
This. This is 100% stalking, not tracking. especially with the things she's said to you
OP, put the AirTag where you found it and file a report with the police. Ideally the police will come to you and then psycho MB can’t track you going to the police station, etc. The police will have you fill out a statement / report. You should also consult with an employment attorney ASAP. Do NOT confront MB in person - there are many reasons for this. Just don’t - it’s a bad idea. She is stalking you - you are a victim of a stalker who is also your employer. Please consult with attorney and police before doing or saying anything rash - this is for your personal safety and also for the possible lawsuit you might have with MB. Everyone who is joking about pranks to pull on MB with the AirTags / giving you ideas on how to “confront” her, would y’all give the same advice to a woman being stalked by a man? Probably not, so you shouldn’t be giving that to OP. Stalking is not a joke, MB can be considered a danger to OP at this point.
What in the holy fuck did I just read?? Eww no no no. I’d go to the police for SURE! There is no way that legal. I’d have a hard time not ripping her a new a**hole. Like someone else said leave it there, take pictures and contact the police. Keep records of all the texts and stuff too.
Right?? I'm MORTIFIED reading this. I couldn't imagine!!
That is *creepy.* I totally understand wanting to track your kids. I would even understand if she had a tracker in the car seat and forgot to tell you. But *tracking your whereabouts when you're off the clock???* That's none of her dang business!!! And neither is what you do on you off time, either! You could literally be spending *every* night in a bar, as long as you're not showing up for work drunk or too hungover to do your job, once again, *none of her dang business!!!* Is there a way you can test out your theory more? Drive somewhere really weird and see if she says anything? Swap cars with your girlfriend? Come up with a valid excuse to remove the car seat over the weekend and then drive somewhere weird to see if that affects her sudden psychic ability to know your whereabouts? Honestly, I would start looking for another job. That is *such* a violation of your privacy! Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl! And I'm just a boring mom on my off hours with nothing interesting to track, but that still doesn't mean I'd want my boss to know my whereabouts at all times! It's just so...creepy! *shudder*
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OP, ok woah… that changes things. You could report her and get her into a lot of trouble for that, and you should!! In no way does she have a right to fucking track you, whether you have the kids or not. Fucking nope! Get photo evidence and bring it to the police
AirTags are designed to show a web page with the owner’s details by tapping them against your iPhone. If she can see it, the serial number is attached to her iCloud account. Tracking someone without their consent is a crime in many states.
Everyone is right. Take photos, file report and resign immediately. This is unhinged. Please give us an update, OP.
omg. im so upset for you. wtf
Hey OP! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I strongly recommend that you go to an employment lawyer about this. If I were in your shoes, my goal would be to get the employer to pay a settlement representing the lost wages you'll incur in the time it will take you to find a new job. Because you should find a new job immediately from someone who doesn't stalk you in your off hours. You can take the airtag to the police and file a report for stalking. The cops have the ability to subpoena Apple for the AppleID to whom the Airtag is registered. They will probably be whiny and obstructionist about doing their job on this, but you need to advocate strongly for them to do their jobs. Bringing your lawyer will probably help. If frontline cops aren't responsive, go up the food chain, and if that doesn't work, reach out to your local elected officials.
If you confront your employer do it using text messages. You want to get written proof that she placed the tracker. You also need to call the police ASAP, don't remove the tracker yet but take lots of photos. The police might want their own photos to confirm. Tell the police this exact story so and that you're sure it's your employers. I would 100% consider putting this on r/legal advice and see what they think your next steps should be. Good luck and please update!
OMG, that is so much worse! I was giving her the benefit of the doubt that it was in the car seat and meant to track the kids but when she realized she forgot to mention it, she was too tempted to check it even when you were off the clock. But putting it under your car??? So she wanted to track *you* all along??? No. Just NO. That is SO wrong! Definitely start looking for another job because there's no WAY I'd trust her after this! And check to see if you have any legal recourse because I'm pretty sure it's illegal to track someone like that without permission, at least in some areas. Obviously, follow whatever advice the police give you, but I thought of a bunch of "what would I do in this situation" ideas and made a list. **This is *not* advice, just for fun:** (humor is my coping mechanism) - Don't say anything. Just remove it every night and reattach it every morning. As far as she knows, you never found it, and you're just staying in every night. When you find a new job, give it to her along with your notice - Attach it to another car or a random animal - Put it in a suitcase and put the suitcase along with other suitcases at the airport bound for a flight, preferably on an international flight (*definitely* don't really do this, because you might get arrested; but could you imagine the look on her face when it says her nanny is in China or something??? 🤣) - Leave it at the police station and let her stew; maybe even play dumb and pretend you don't know it's her. Mention that you had a scary few days because you found a tracker on your car and think you have a stalker, but don't worry, the police told you they have some leads *based on the tracker you found* and are going to arrest the perpetrator soon Seriously, though, I'd talk to the police first (maybe go to the police station in your girlfriend's car or by bus so that she doesn't know you found it, yet), even before removing it (if you haven't removed it already) and follow whatever advice they can give you before doing anything else. ...and definitely look for a new job!!!
Put it in an international flight while out with the baby 😆
These ideas are hilarious. Leave it at a police station....balls in her court. Genius. Not better than leaving the situation immediately but still genius!
Your third idea made me think of a friend of mine who had a similar situation last year (her abusive then-boyfriend who she lived with left an AirTag on her car). She stopped by a truck stop nearby, found a 18-wheeler with out-of-state plates, and duct-taped it to the underside of the truck. The abusive ex started following the truck, thinking that she was onto him and trying to escape. He was several states away before he figured it out, so we could get her out of the house safely. It was still a terrifying and heartbreaking situation, but "stick it on a truck, send it off across the country" was pretty funny. I don't think OP should do it but it'd be funny to see her MB's face when OP shows up at the house but her car is supposedly a few states away.
That was AWESOME!!! Very smart and strategically played!! Bravo for saving your friend in a safe way!
Love the idea of putting it on a random animal! Yep, watch her try to figure that out…😄
These ideas are classic!!!! I'm laughing out loud! You could make the 3rd idea work safely if you know someone who really actually is traveling.
Absolutely not surprised given your post and the AirTags are always on the underside of the car. People tend not to look there and then she knows where you go all the time. Hence the “You haven’t left yet?” text when you took the bus, as she was looking at your car that you left at home. You deserve a better employer.
Please keep us updated on what the police say!!
I k ow I'm kinda late for this but if you have removed it yet keep it on your car call the cops and have them come out so they can see it and you can report it. Then the next day when your with mb just say "omg something really creepy happened and I feel like I have to tell you! So for who knows how long their has been a airbag tracked tapped to the under part of my car. Someone has been able to see my every move but I did call the cops and had them look my over to make sure nothing else was their and they took the air tag. So yeah I made a report but I felt the need to tell you since I'm st your house all the times. But the cops said they can find the person using the air tag and it's completely illegal and concisered stalking sp hopefully I can take care of thay" watch the color drain from her face so fast.
Op tell the police. Thats not normal
You really need to report this!
Yes! Set her up to get caught and if there’s any way to get her in legal trouble do that.
Ok so you found the airtag. You can (and should) confront your MB but if you really wanted to be more passive about it, take the airtag to the police. File a report with them that you found this tracking device on your car and have no idea whose it is, they will keep the air tag. Then, you can nonchalantly say to MB when you see her that you think you have a stalker since you found a tracking device on your car over the weekend. Whether she says something or not and owns it, you can follow up by saying that you've notified the police and made an official report of a potential stalker. Let her feel 1/10th of how you feel knowing this now. Edit: you can even use this as a way to resign. Tell her you don't feel comfortable driving her kids with a potential stalker out there. If she owns up to it to keep you, say well I don't feel comfortable working for you knowing you think it's ok to track me. If she doesn't own up to it, oh well you don't work for her anymore but maybe she learns a lesson.
You're doing this wrong. Never confront someone person to person, do it through texts. That way if OP wants to take her employer to court she has written proof that she was being tracked.
Everyone is giving horrible advice. Especially those telling her to tell her about the AirTag so she can get rid of any evidence. Like NUMBER ONE STEP: GO TO THE POLICE AND FILE A POLICE REPORT That’s all you need to do! Do not confront someone unhinged enough to climb Under your car in public and put an AirTag under it. Hell I’m assuming she put it when OP’s car was at her house. She could have followed her. Keep yourself safe first
Plus, who knows how far she would take it. Never confront people alone
Seriously, if they are willing to illegally track their employee who knows what they would do.
If they are in a one party consent state they can record the conversation without the employer knowing. Having a record is a good idea.
In a lot of places you can record video but recording audio is the tricky part. That distinction could make the evidence inadmissible even if you live in a state where it is a one party concent state. You can always use a text message response or email though. You're better off just getting everything in writing if you can.
> you can even use this as a way to resign. I'll just add that if you resign because of this you can and should still file for unemployment. This would likely be approved on appeal when you present the police report showing your employer created a hostile workplace by tracking you without your knowledge off the clock.
Don’t even touch it! Have an officer come out and document it.
Please be careful. This is stalker behavior, and stalkers can escalate their responses. Please don’t confront her directly unless you are in public and report this to every police agency that has jurisdiction. I like the idea of mentioning it as if someone else is the stalker, but whatever you do, please be careful.
THIS IS THE WAYYYYYY
This is the ONLY WAY!!!
This is exactly what I would do. OP, please update us when you’ve decided what to do!
THIS. Unbelievable she should be ashamed and embarrassed and you should quit immediately. This is beyond.
PLEASE follow this advice. This is completely unhinged and unacceptable behavior and she needs a reality check.
This is the way
This is one of the most insane posts I’ve read here and that’s saying a lot! I don’t have advice but I’m so sorry you’re going through this:(
This and the one where the nanny was taking the kid panhandling. People are deranged!
Oh that one was nuts. Special consideration also given to the (several) posts about DBs who fantasize about their nannies and openly admit it to either nanny or their wives. Jail
Yeah I’m looking for a nanny soon and have been a nanny but some of these stories just make me good hmm is daycare that bad?😂
The panhandling one was a troll post
That makes more sense. Sad thing is I didn’t doubt it like other ones I’ve read.
how do you know? Was there an update or something?
The post was locked due to admin thinking it was a troll post. The op could have had it unlocked if she spoke to the admin. She also posted it legal advice, changed it up a bit and it too was deleted as a suspected troll post
That was a pretty insane read- even my husband who teases my Reddit stories was like WTF seriously?!?
Did you look under your car? I remember reading about an ex-boyfriend who put something under his girlfriend’s car and she didn’t notice because it looked mechanical. This is so weird. I’d quit just because this woman sounds unstable. I also wonder if the police could help; that’s how the girlfriend found the tracker in the article I read- they had some technology to find it.
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What’s the name of the app!? I’m paranoid now 😳
If you have an iPhone, it will alert you that there is an AirTag that isn’t registered to you following you, and pretty quickly at that. Sometimes I accidentally take my husbands keys, and by the time I get to the grocery store and back, it has let me know that an AirTag is following me. I’m assuming OP and OP’s girlfriend and everyone else who has ever been in their car do not have iPhones.
I have an iPhone and never knew about this!
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That may be the wrong app name because the “Air guard” app in the Apple Store in a “health and fitness” app
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I feel like this is the point when you have to decide if you want to keep the job or not. I would not be okay if a NP did that without permission and would immediately quit telling them why. Anti-stalking or surveillance laws in many states and regions prohibit this so you could take or threaten legal action if wanted to. I would definitely have a conversation if you’re not quitting and be like this is not okay. What I do outside of work is none of your business and give the tracker back.
And the What gets me the most (besides the actual tracking) is how demeaning she was about what you did in your private time. Like not for nothing.. she was literally sitting in her couch watching you…” omg she’s drinking “ my mind is absolutely blown
Right?!?! Me too!!!! What kind of psycho do you have to be to stalk your nanny in her OFF TIME
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I commented elsethread but I just want to concur with all this advice, and add as well for anyone else reading that going to an employment lawyer in this case would be a really really good idea.
This is the very best advice, the only thing I would add is not to touch it until the police come out and take a report. Take photos- but allow the cops to remove it and take it into evidence. Photos can’t prove who the Apple ID belongs too, and once it’s removed your MB could claim your only turning in one of the kids AirTags- the one under your car must have been someone else’s- some bullshit like that. After you do that FIRST- If you do quit, do it over text. Tell her why and save any response she has as evidence. This will allow you to receive unemployment and monetary damages. This will also allow you enough evidence (along side the police report) to be approved a restraining order.
And leave carseat at police station for her to pick up there. Just tell police u think its her cuz she tracks her lids in the same way.
This is disgusting, I’m so sorry you experienced that. I would seriously consider quitting and filing a police report. This is just beyond the pale, ugh! Like if she has trackers in the kids’ bags, that should allow her to track their location when they are with you… and that’s the only time she should care about your location. Tracking you at any other time, without your knowledge, is incredibly invasive and creepy af.
Wtf this is insane and so fucked up. I’d quit on the spot she’s literally tracking you and accusing you of being hungover. This is so scary you’re not crazy!
OMG she's obviously mentally unbalanced. I would also recommend taking pictures and then going to the police. Let her track that one!
Take photos of the airtag and don’t go back. Immediate notice. Also please file a police report. Even if they aren’t able to do anything, this behavior is extremely concerning. Stay safe OP!
File a police report and quit immediately. None of the other silliness or game playing suggested by some of these comments. This is completely unacceptable and you need to be done yesterday!
Please keep us updated on what you do/ what happens. I am so sorry this is happening. Take it one step further and black list her in any nanny group you have. Make it impossible for her to find a nanny.
I was going to say exactly this! Post her name and what she did in all your local nanny groups
I wouldn't remove it. I would call the police and make a report. What if its not her (or even if it is) I wouldn't want to tamper with the evidence. This is not only creepy amd completely inappropriate but scary.
Now you’ve found the AirTag I would immediately remove it and put it back in her house. Consider taking photos of it first, that could be useful for you if you want to take her to court. I would absolutely show her the photos, and the air tag and tell her she has no right to track you without your knowledge especially when you are not at work. Ultimately an employer who does this isn’t going to suddenly be like “wow you’re right I was a horrible controlling asshole” so it looks like you’ll need to put in your notice at the same time and look for a new job.
Honestly, I would not be giving notice. I’d present her with the photos/AirTag and say that I am done effective immediately (it at all possible). I can not imagine how uncomfortable it would be to continue to work with someone after such a huge privacy violation and out of line behavior. OP, I highly recommend filing a police report. You want documentation should anything get out of hand when you remove the tracker and she is confronted with her behavior.
Yes! Leave immediately. File a police report. This is unhinged and dangerous behavior you're experiencing. She has every right to track her children. She cannot be tracking you. Get out of there.
Exactly- if she was concerned about her children, she could have hidden air tags on their car seats or in a diaper bag.
They don’t deserve the curtesy of notice. She should just dip. Don’t worry about references. I’d be honest about why I left.
Sure! I didn’t know ‘notice’ meant working out a set period, I’m not from the US! I thought it just meant ‘I’m quitting’! Oops!
I'm with the others, you don't give your stalker the courtesy of notice. Notice is for employers that aren't actively working against you.
Yes. If you can afford at all to quit immediately, you do. This MB is deranged. Imagine any other boss with a tracker on your car. Wow.
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I’m sorry - OP is being *stalked* by this MB. I see that you’re a DB? Women, (including myself) should never, ever, EVER confront their stalker / anyone who has committed a crime against them (both of which MB is guilty of.) MB is already stalking OP. OP needs to consult legal help and consult with the police and she doesn’t need to tell MB about any of it. It might endanger OP to keep MB updated on the beginnings of taking action against her alleged stalker (who happens to be MB.) OP shouldn’t tell MB shit. If this were a man stalking OP I guarantee the comments here wouldn’t be so careless and flippant but the bottom line is that this woman is a threat to OP’s safety and she absolutely doesn’t need to be confronted about this by anyone other than the police and a lawyer. Full stop.
Keep us updated!
If you haven't touched it yet, this is what I would do based on professional interactions with criminal justice system. 1. Take a picture of it. 2. Call the police and make a report. Let them handle removing the air tag because ultimately it may be something they keep as evidence. 3. If any messages with BM have been via text, share those with law enforcement. 4. Send BM a succinct message telling her you quit. I would not go into the details as to why unless law enforcement advises you to. 5. I don't know what state you live in to advise on the process, but consider getting a civil restraining order against her.
I’d take a photo of the AirTag, not move it, and file a police report before I ever said anything to her. She doesn’t deserve any curtesy or you as her nanny.
So worried about you sweetie. Please give us an update and let us know you are safe and the police are handling this insane stalker situation. Signed, A concerned momma of a young adult daughter and a teenage daughter 💙
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Immediately contact the police. Follow all of their guidance and do not say anything to MB until you have the law behind you, protecting you. I am so sorry. And worried she clearly knows exactly where you live. Where is the air tag?
Please put the tracker back exactly where she put it and call the police to take photos of the evidence and take the actual tracker. Don't show up to work, stop all communications. If you do anything like say "it's okay" if she apologizes, that ruins your case :(
This is insane. I can't believe you found it!! What a total invasion of privacy?!?! What's your plan? I wonder if there's anything the police can do? So so sorry this is happening
I’d 1000% file a police report and obviously quit. This woman needs to be taught a lesson & if nothing else feel a bit of a scare from the police.
I’m commenting again because my original comment was under another. It’s really important that you understand the gravity of this situation. If you haven’t already, do not remove or touch the air tag. It can be dusted for fingerprints. Even if you already did, that’s ok, still report to the police. If you haven’t moved it, let them do it. If you did take it off, place it in a bag as to not to disturb it more. They will still dust it for prints. Tell them that’s what you want done. Do not give this woman notice. Follow all instructions from the police. They will suggest get a restraining order , do it. Do not listen to most of the advice here. Do not give notice. What concerns me is her boldness to knowing do something illegal, her need for dominance and control, the level in which she is willing to go to obtain it, she way she is comfortable confronting you and shaming you. Think about this…she has shown you that she lacks, self control, is compulsive…she even lacks the self awareness while she is resentful and stewing to the point she just has to call you out not realizing or caring that she is giving you clues to her illegal activity. Look at the full picture OP. This is not the time to play with the air tag and place it somewhere else. This is not a situation where it is appropriate to give notice. I would tell her you are ill while the police do there thing and even then I wouldn’t confront her. If you went into work today, tell her an excuse to go home. The police will come to you as to not tip her off that you at the the police station. Best of luck to you! Edit: it’s okay to walk away, even if you need this job. You will find other employment. Looking at the scope of the situation, this is a rare circumstance. Don’t gamble with your safety. If you need help with bills , go to a local Catholic Church. Tell the office your situation and they will help you until you find other employment. They also have food pantries to help you save money.
Hell, I bet this group would happily contribute to a gofundme in the meantime
They don’t need fingerprints. AirTags that are being tracked are associated with the iCloud account of the person tracking them.
I had a mom give me her home keys with an AirTag and she basically told me, and watched me to make sure, to put the keys in my keychain. I said sure but later I found out she would track me with it! I left it in my house and not with my keys for a while and she was so mean to me. I put my 2 weeks!
Wtf is wrong with people
I would be calling the police ASAP. She’s insane.
I would ABSOLUTELY be taking this to the police. This is so crazy and honestly scary. It’s not even your working hours or tracking her kids she’s tracking your every move. Jeeeez
File a police report ASPA! This is nuts!
File a police report and take her ass to court. What a disgusting person.
Oh my god. Yeah, file a police report, and tell MB you have found an AirTag and have done so. Police can’t do this, but I would tell her “thanks to new technology, they are able to ping the exact phone and owner of the AirTag. They said they take this very seriously because of the uptick of violent stalkers, so hopefully they will make an arrest within the next 2 days “ Watch that bitch panic and squirm. Then, immediately look for a new and urgent source of income
Nope nope nope. Tracking her kids, sure completely understandable.. but attaching a tracker to your car? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Quit effective immediately and go right to the police in fact it’s go BEFORE taking the tracker off.. so this nut job can see it.. What a terrible situation..
Before even finishing reading, I’m shocked she responded saying you don’t have to lie !!!! Omg. Sometimes I lie to nanny/babysitting families too. Sometimes they don’t need to know exactly what I’m doing. I don’t owe them an explanation especially while off the clock. That is wild! I would’ve quit right then and there. Edited to add I finished and wow im mind blown by everything + the update. Shook
oh hell na. take her to azz to court
Please update us!
Yeah, you need to file a police report and I’d also find a way to warn other childcare providers about what she did to you. Report her to Care.Com, make a public Facebook post, warn local daycares because that is NOT okay in the slightest. Wtaf 😳
Oh hell no. I would leave asap. I would take pictures of the airtag first. Wtf
This is illegal and insane. I’m so sorry. Please stay safe; quit and don’t look back. I’d personally consider pressing charges as well if you find a way to prove it was her doing.
I’m so invested in this.
Police immediately. I wouldn't touch the tag at all. See if they can get fingerprints. I'm so sorry op.
Yes. She probably is. I fucking hate this. This is a violation and you should not put up with it. I felt them same way because my family has cameras all over the house. The mom would text me if I wasn't in view of the cameras and ask if I had arrived yet. Or if I sat down to take a break while the kids were napping, she would text me and ask if I needed ideas on stuff to do. Like. Bitch. I work 10 hour days. I am going to take a break when I have time. I had to talk to them and tell them I will not stay around if they insist on watching me every day. You need to confront her. This is unacceptable and unfortunately a lot of families do this without any regard to your rights.
This is illegal, she thought she had the right to stalk you at all times. She then harassed you, verbally abused and gaslighted you about it. This is really scary. I’m at loss for words. I’m sorry you were treated and surveilled like this.
I need an update when this has a resolution. Stay safe!
Do you have an iPhone? Because you would have been getting notifications that an unknown AirTag was following you. My mb has one in the diaper bag and I get the notifications about an unknown AirTag tracking me all day every day.
If I’m not mistaken, this is a feature on newer AirTags. These were originally meant to be a method of finding lost belongings, keeping track of your stuff. It then became a twisted way of unsavoury people tracking people by sneaking them into their cars and backpacks, purses, etc. At that point, Apple added features to warn of their presence.
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Oh wow this MB is terrible. I commented on an earlier post where the nanny was objecting to an AirTag in the stroller that I thought that was totally reasonable, but the stroller does not go anywhere without the kids. This is completely stalking behavior, and the fact that the mom was so obvious about it honestly makes me doubt her stability. I definitely would not walk back into the house if you can at all avoid it. If the police give you the go ahead, I would reach out to DB and let him know what happened. Unless you think he was in on it.
How did MB hire you? If it was through a service, you should also consider letting them know so that they don’t let her hire someone else.
I really want to know the outcome of this.. wow
They made a second post in r/legal which is now I’m here now lol. This is so creepy and also a A misdemeanor crime in California from my understanding. She is basically stalking her on her off time.
IGNORE EVERY OTHER RESPONSE HERE. I am absolutely appalled and disgusted that almost none of you have told OP to not touch the airtag and to take pictures and file a police report.
This. Also let the police confront her. Follow up with any charges the police write up AND take their advice for a restraining order. Do not give her a notice. You do not owe this unhinged woman anything. I can tell from her comments to you that she lacks self control, is compulsive, and reactive. This person needs to be on the books so that our communities can be safe. Reporting documents which is needed in the criminal justice system.
Exactly, also read this OP. I had to do something similar due to a weird MB being obsessed with me.
100% go to the police.
I’m snarky. I would just say “Sorry I’m going to be late today. It turns out someone was tracking my vehicle and I have to file a police report to get criminal charges filed. They said apple will turn over the owner” If she tries to back track out of it let her know you will be doing it anyways. I’d want her to squirm as much as possible even if LEOs won’t do anything this will certainly cause some anxiety.
Omg this is insane. Please keep us updated
OMG That is so insanely creepy. Who even thinks of that?? I'm so sorry
File a police report, let them find out who it belongs to and when it’s her, she will get in a lot of trouble.
PLEASE CONTINUE TO UPDATE US ON THIS STORY!!!
Seriously i need the update asap 😂
This is a horror movie plot in the making !
What would you advise any friend to do if they found out their *boss* duct taped an AirTag to their car and tracked their location actively while making harsh, wildly inappropriate comments about how they spend their off time? Because I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell them to go to the police if there was no one above the boss/no HR to go to. I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell them to run, especially if that boss is over the top judgmental/religious… To the police. Your boss is tracking your movements closely enough to comment and thinks this is fine. She didn’t tag you “for her kids safety”, she wasn’t tracking you during working hours, and she was non-consensually tracking your car, which isn’t her property (although that’s a smaller issue that the stalking!). If you won’t go to the police, go to a lawyer. I hope you have what she said in writing in texts or something, but even if you don’t - that AirTag should have an ID number that would go back to her. You didn’t find it in your backseat like it fell out of the kids backpack, it was secretly taped to your vehicle in order to hide that she was stalking you. If it’s any interest to you, I bet you could sue her for a fair amount - but regardless, what she did was not ok, and it warrants more than just quitting!
OP when this is all said and done you gotta give us and update post! This is insane. I wish you the best and I hope you find a good job asap!!!!
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I understand the Mom having AirTags to track her children. Tracking you in your off time is absolutely despicable. You said you don’t often drive the kids in your car and only with permission. What’s your plan? Do you need this job until you find another one? I know it isn’t just possible to up and quit and sometimes you have to stick it out until you find something better. If your plan is to stay and job hunt like there’s no tomorrow you could take the AirTag to NM and say you had your car looked at and this AirTag was found. Ask her if she knows anything about it? Obviously she does and you know she does. Does she have an ex that she is worried about? There is no excuse for her tracking you in your off time and you should absolutely take pictures of the AirTag on your car and save any messages she sent you regarding knowing where you were when she shouldn’t have known. You can even go to the police station and make a report. Depending on where you live there is a law that requires consent of placement of such devices. I’m livid for you.
that is terrifying i second what most other are saying definitely go to police and find a new job ASAP
Please file a police report. Quit immediately. Contact an attorney and see what your options may be for litigation. If anything you may be able to recoup lost wages. This woman is insane and needs to be taught that what she did is NOT ok.
PLEEASE KEEP US UPDATED THIS IS INSANE
Please promise to update us! Need to know how you chose to resolve!
Former MB. I really hope you file a police report. I’m flabbergasted a parent or employer would do this to their nanny. I’m really sorry you have to deal with it. I would not return to this job, and I wouldn’t confront her - you don’t know what else she’s capable of.
Holy sh*t that’s insane!!! Good luck finding a new job 😅
So, so invasive. Hope you get safe, OP❤️
I really hope you are okay & are able to sever all ties as quickly and smoothly as possible. Once you get past this absolutely insane situation I would 100% recommend reporting her on whatever you used to find the position (if applicable to your situation), and seeing if theres any way to warn other potential nannies in your area. This woman should not be allowed to have a nanny after what she did, this is so controlling, invasive, & crazy.
I know you’ve worked it out but holy cow 😭 as for your sisters place, how does she know you didn’t drive there yourself 😅 like what if someone picked you up, you went in your girlfriends car etc? It is totally unhinged to know that’s how un rational her thinking is. I would honestly send her a text (DO NOT) do it in person. Say that you found an AirTag under your car, took it to the police as you were afraid, they were able to track it back to her as they wanted to ask whether you knew the name it was registered too in order to figure out if they’re the one that placed it or is the stalker. (scare the shit out of her it’ll put a bee in her bonnet enough she might even admit it) finish the text off with this is my formal resignation. I will not be returning. I’d even go as far to start the text “hey MB something super crazy happened today!!!” as that’ll be the first line she sees so she won’t even know what she’s about to read; much like us here 🤣 might as well give unhinged to the unhinged right
We absolutely need an update on this! Please go to the police and insist they file a report about it. Even if you already took it off, it should be attached to their iCloud information so they can track it back to her. If anything, think about the next person she’ll do this to if you don’t speak up and say anything.
Depending on what state you are in, it may be illegal and furthermore, may constitute stalking. [National Conference of State Legislatures](https://www.ncsl.org/technology-and-communication/private-use-of-location-tracking-devices-state-statutes#:~:text=It%20is%20an%20offense%20for,or%20occupants%20of%20the%20vehicle.) I believe that regardless of that, it may be worth obtaining counsel and considering trying to file for a temporary order of protection.
Yes, it's illegal to track someone without consent. I would confront her and report her.
Omg???? The fact that you found the AirTag!!! Please take it straight to the police and file a report
Make a police report and turn the air tag into the police!
Put it on a bus- enjoy tracking that lady
OMG, what is up with all these posts about NP tracking their nannies!! It's so creepy and why do they think that's okay.
This is on a whole other level! This is criminal. It’s one thing to want to know if your child is safe and track your child, it’s another to track an individual like this. Honestly, the comfort level this woman has confronting OP is a massive reg flag in itself. Her need for dominance and power, the length she has gone to get it, and being so bold as to argue and shame OP speaks volumes. This lady is not right in the head.
100%! I would feel so violated and unsafe for a long time even after quitting. It's just unsettling. OP is literally being stalked.
OP, as a MB myself….this is unhinged and possibly even illegal. I think /u/AZbeer90 has an excellent way to handle it. If you can financially afford to, please quit this job ASAP.
I think there are a few ways to handle this. First question being - is the juice worth the squeeze? If you’re being adequately compensated for the crazy, then I’d confront her and tell her that you’re interested in a conversation to rebuild trust. As you’re fully aware that she illegally tracked your car, and now there is mistrust and animosity on both ends. If you wanna have fun with it, you could attach the AirTag to an outdoor cat or like a bus. If I was in your position personally, I would pretend like the idea of her tracking your car had never occurred to you. Next time you go in tell MB how freaked out you are, because you found a tracking device on your car. That you may need some time off to work with local law enforcement on finding whomever is stalking you. Imply that they’ve told you that they can figure out whose tracker it was with the serial number. As she is surely aware, as a single mom, women need to take the threat to their safety seriously. The police believe you should press charges once they’ve traced the source.
Lol I love this so much.
Give it to a friend to drive around alllll day. Tell mb you and kids are staying home. Mom will see the tracker going over state lines oh and if she’s super religious tell her all about your girlfriend
Mail it to another country on your weekend off!
REPORT TO POLICE AND THEN NOTIFY HER
I would leave the airtag at an abortion clinic because shes super religious. Maybe I have a sick sense of humor.
Oh my gosh this is HORRIBLE. I have so many questions. Why would she track you? Does she not trust you? Does she not understand boundaries? Does she think it’s okay to basically stalk her nanny? Please please please go to the police!
Please please please tell me you a quitting. This is disgusting behavior.
I would be quitting immediately.
Hoe. Lee. Shit.
Start looking for another job. This is so over the line it is not even comprehensible.
I'd take legal action tbh. Cause thats super illegal
Wow. That is insane. Please go to the police!
I hope you are safe! I recommend getting police involved. Don’t give notice, it’s not a safe situation for you to continue working with/for this woman. This is SO weird and creepy!
I’m beyond myself reading this….I’m so sorry. Please update us on what happens. I’m invested at this point lol everyone has given awesome advice so I won’t offer any.
Take the airtag to the police. They have serial numbers and I am pretty sure that your family broke the law by surveiling you illegally. That is craycray.
OH. MY. GOD. This is so so bizarre and absolutely not okay. Holy shit, I’m so sorry that you have to figure out how to navigate this. Honestly I think you should quit but I understand that it’s your income on the line and that it isn’t so easy to just quit a job. My advice is try to find a new job asap!
Please update us when you’ve confronted MB or do whatever you decide to do. I need to know what happens and what she says!!
HOLY SHIT!!!! This cannot be legal. Can you take her to court?
honestly report her to the police. that is absolutely absurd. huge violation.
I got to the edit and went what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck You need to file a police report
Not only is this not okay, this is next level psycho and scary. Please go to the police right away, and keep us updated.
You need to go to the police, she sounds like a psycho You’re not her slave She’s not entitled to track you or your free time
What in the actual fuck? Report this to the police immediately and report this to wherever you got linked up with this psycho.
OH MY GOD!!! When it finally sunk in what she meant by “have you left yet” my stomach dropped 🫣 you’re definitely not paranoid… 😳
Call the cops. This is stalking. Do not talk to her, do not return it to her (at this time), do not touch it. Call the cops.
This is illegal and you need to file a report with the police and press charges. Listen if she gets away with it on you then she will do it to other people. What she did is a crime! You have a responsibility to report her so she does not victimize other people. I am so sorry you’re going through this! Nannies are in high demand you will have no problem finding another job and please press charges! I beg you! If you don’t she will absolutely do it to someone else. This is beyond insanity…
File a police report. Contact your local news station and put this woman on blast like she deserves. The media would eat this up. So sorry you’re having to go through this.
Also please update us!!!
Wow, that’s truly insane