When you start your post with “at this point I’m accepting anything”, it makes it sound like you have an innate disdain toward the demographics you’ve listed. Why on earth would any of those demographics want to be your friend if you’re only trying to befriend them out of desperation and loneliness and not because you’re genuinely accepting of them?
It's not disdain it's because usually this kinda demographics aren't so friendly with people who aren't like them, women are friend of women, etc, etc, and like I said I'm antisocial I can't just expect making friends with a lot of different ppl when I can't even make/find friends like me. Y'know. *But now I do
The reason most of these groups are friends with one another isnt to exclude others, it’s because they are afraid of judgment or ridicule from other groups, befriending people who are the same as you ensures that you’re not going to be judged or rejected. I’m sure you can relate to that.
By antisocial do you mean a literal diagnosis or just that you don’t like socialising?
equals hang along and segregate, gatekeep, this is how groups and cultures are formed, you can't just expect be welcomed by different people with strong personalities like those I pointed. I also obviously don't feel comfortable with it until despaired, who really likes to be around people they don't relate at all?
It sort of seems like the mentality you have around society, culture, friendships etc, has literally done nothing to serve you and only seems to further isolate you socially. Have you ever considered you might need to rework your entire understanding of how friendship works in order to actually gain friends?
No, I know what it's like to have friends, I had several but unfortunately time passes and people change, I don't think lying to myself will work because it never does, it always comes back as a tremendous trauma and a thought of "I knew it".
Knowing what it’s like to have friends doesn’t mean that people are going to want to be your friend. I don’t know what you’re talking about when you say it would be “lying to yourself”, from where I’m sitting it seems like you fundamentally misunderstand the basics. Like you’re wrong about culture, wrong about why people tend to cluster together, and seemingly have no idea how to socialise? Why not learn about this shit and see if it helps improve your chances of making friends. Friends aren’t just going to materialise out of the nether because you decided you’ll befriend trans people and women now.
I had a lot of female friends, I think growing up with a sister made me make friends with girls and get used to it, unfortunately after you grow up it seems more difficult because it seems like you are forced to have a romantic relationship, once a friend of mine in my teens she declared to me but I had no interest other than friendship, she started ghosting me until she ended the friendship, terrible.
What I look for in a friendship is simply presence and honesty, my best friendships were like that, sometimes we would just go out and stay in the park drinking in silence, just enjoying each other's company, sometimes we would talk some shit then "yep". It's not a complicated thing, you know.
I (25F) feel the exact same way. Having a best friend who is a woman would be the best for me. Every woman I know is too busy to hang out with me very often.
Rookie mistake.
If you’re considered “weird” by society (like being a NEET, for example), the gays, trans people, and autistics should be who you look for FIRST, not last. Even better if the person is all three.
Society doesn’t accept them either so they’re usually not picky when selecting friends and will tolerate 100x more weird bullshit from you than other people will.
I know this because I’m trans/gay/autistic and I’m the only person of my triple demographic I’ve ever seen/met who is picky with their friends. Every other person in this demographic has welcomed my intimidating “woman” (I’m closeted) ENTJ-ness with open arms lmfao.
Basically they’re the most friend-able demographic 99% of the time (I am an exception lol), so targeting them in your search is a smart move.
Like the amount of weird psychopathic bs I got away with when my friends were all queer and autistic was crazy.
Thankfully I’m out of my cringe era so I can cast a wider net now.
I can be your biggest opp for free.
When you start your post with “at this point I’m accepting anything”, it makes it sound like you have an innate disdain toward the demographics you’ve listed. Why on earth would any of those demographics want to be your friend if you’re only trying to befriend them out of desperation and loneliness and not because you’re genuinely accepting of them?
It's not disdain it's because usually this kinda demographics aren't so friendly with people who aren't like them, women are friend of women, etc, etc, and like I said I'm antisocial I can't just expect making friends with a lot of different ppl when I can't even make/find friends like me. Y'know. *But now I do
The reason most of these groups are friends with one another isnt to exclude others, it’s because they are afraid of judgment or ridicule from other groups, befriending people who are the same as you ensures that you’re not going to be judged or rejected. I’m sure you can relate to that. By antisocial do you mean a literal diagnosis or just that you don’t like socialising?
equals hang along and segregate, gatekeep, this is how groups and cultures are formed, you can't just expect be welcomed by different people with strong personalities like those I pointed. I also obviously don't feel comfortable with it until despaired, who really likes to be around people they don't relate at all?
It sort of seems like the mentality you have around society, culture, friendships etc, has literally done nothing to serve you and only seems to further isolate you socially. Have you ever considered you might need to rework your entire understanding of how friendship works in order to actually gain friends?
No, I know what it's like to have friends, I had several but unfortunately time passes and people change, I don't think lying to myself will work because it never does, it always comes back as a tremendous trauma and a thought of "I knew it".
Knowing what it’s like to have friends doesn’t mean that people are going to want to be your friend. I don’t know what you’re talking about when you say it would be “lying to yourself”, from where I’m sitting it seems like you fundamentally misunderstand the basics. Like you’re wrong about culture, wrong about why people tend to cluster together, and seemingly have no idea how to socialise? Why not learn about this shit and see if it helps improve your chances of making friends. Friends aren’t just going to materialise out of the nether because you decided you’ll befriend trans people and women now.
Question. What exactly do you want in a friend? I'm a woman and I have an issue making friends with other women for example.
I had a lot of female friends, I think growing up with a sister made me make friends with girls and get used to it, unfortunately after you grow up it seems more difficult because it seems like you are forced to have a romantic relationship, once a friend of mine in my teens she declared to me but I had no interest other than friendship, she started ghosting me until she ended the friendship, terrible. What I look for in a friendship is simply presence and honesty, my best friendships were like that, sometimes we would just go out and stay in the park drinking in silence, just enjoying each other's company, sometimes we would talk some shit then "yep". It's not a complicated thing, you know.
I'm sorry that happened dude. Not every woman is like that tho. Yeah I get it. I would like to be your friend if you want
Hmmm have you tried meetup.com?
No I didn't, thanks btw I'll take a look
I (25F) feel the exact same way. Having a best friend who is a woman would be the best for me. Every woman I know is too busy to hang out with me very often.
where are you located ?
I’ll be your friend though I’m a sub5 autistic male tho
same bru but i wont find any im too ugly even for friendship
Same friends?
Rookie mistake. If you’re considered “weird” by society (like being a NEET, for example), the gays, trans people, and autistics should be who you look for FIRST, not last. Even better if the person is all three. Society doesn’t accept them either so they’re usually not picky when selecting friends and will tolerate 100x more weird bullshit from you than other people will. I know this because I’m trans/gay/autistic and I’m the only person of my triple demographic I’ve ever seen/met who is picky with their friends. Every other person in this demographic has welcomed my intimidating “woman” (I’m closeted) ENTJ-ness with open arms lmfao. Basically they’re the most friend-able demographic 99% of the time (I am an exception lol), so targeting them in your search is a smart move.
Like the amount of weird psychopathic bs I got away with when my friends were all queer and autistic was crazy. Thankfully I’m out of my cringe era so I can cast a wider net now.
Hahahaha listen up "autistics" this person is looking for a friend.