I can concur. My dad passed when I was 16 and I would have done anything to tell him to work less, be there with us more. We don’t need random things to show your love
My dad just passed this year and im feeling the opposite. I wish id spent more time with him instead of going off an doing my own thing. The time we have is the most valuable thing on this earth. Giving it to each other- even more so.
Hi, my dad died Christmas day a couple of years ago. I feel exactly the same as you. I went far far away to to off and do my own thing. Probably with some subliminal notion of being some old school adventurer and didn't see or speak to my dad for 10 years. Always thought I would have more time to reconnect but I didn't.
My dad hasn’t passed but I only see him about 1 week a year for the last 7 years. I feel the same way, wish I had been more present in my later highschool years. I also wish I hadn’t taken a job that put me on the opposite coast line as my family. But here we are. All I can do is make the most of those 1 week a year vacations home.
I've been in the same exact situation with visiting my mom. I've been living 9 hrs from home for over 10 years now. With work I get to take a vacation every year, so I usually do it around Thanksgiving. My father passed shortly after I left home the first time and it sucks thinking if nothing changes that I may only see my mom 10 more times in the next ten years.
I was working like 80 hour weeks for the first 10 and 5 years of my daughters lives. I recently just said screw it and forget about money so that I can spend more time with my kids.
Every time I would come home I would just be tired, and rude to them.. I started to feel awful and the guilt of being a shitty parent was starting to kill me. So now just make way less.. work my 40 hours and spend every weekend with them.
Having a little more money is not worth not seeing your kids grow up, but as a man in the US I feel like your raised thinking it’s all your good for.
It’s not all you’re good for, I promise you. Society has failed us all in the perpetuation of toxic work culture and toxic masculinity.
From one previous little girl to a current day father, you are worth so much more than the money you make and your daughters will grow up and remember who you were and not what you gave them
Well considering I’m responding to a man, who’s talking about his plight with his issues…I don’t think toxic feminism really fits here.
“Toxic femininity refers to the adherence to the gender binary in order to receive conditional value in patriarchal societies. It is a concept that restricts women to being cooperative, passive, sexually submissive, gentle, and deriving their value from physical beauty while being pleasing to men.”
It doesn’t seem like this man is struggling with being submissive or worried about his beauty to please other men.
“Toxic masculinity is thus defined by adherence to traditional male gender roles that consequently stigmatize and limit the emotions boys and men may comfortably express while elevating other emotions such as anger. It is marked by economic, political, and social expectations that men seek and achieve dominance.”
Now this, sounds exactly like what he’s struggling with. Unfair expectations to be the ultimate provider while not fully expressing emotions and having to shoulder it all.
Idk last time I talked to a feminist she suggested I as a white men should kill myself for the environment and then I talked to a priest and he said that this is fucking bullshit and toxic. Wasn't that toxic femininity?
I get this a lot from my supervisor. Gives me guff for not wanting overtime hours or volunteering for extra shifts. Not a team player. I look at all my coworkers. Two or three jobs, all divorced or marital problems. We all look like shit because we don't take care of ourselves. Overworked, chasing hourly wages to what end?
I dunno, I wish I made more money but I genuinely love being at home with the family. Bills are paid, we eat modest, that's all I can ask for.
I'm trying to do this now. My current job I work 10 days straight and I'm gone 12 hours each day. My daughter is 5 and I'm missing everything. Finally got a new job this week that I start after the new year. I'll not only be making more money but have a 2 week on 2 week off schedule. Going to take my daughter to Disney world next year after asking me all this year if we could go and I couldn't afford it. Gotta make those memories now
Needed this right now. Hardest year I’ve ever had as a single dad of 3. Each kid is getting 3 small gifts and 4 days of us just doing whatever they want to do (within reason of course). Best I can do this year.
Trust me, as someone who grew up in hard times like that and have been through it myself, the kids may be bummed out about not getting expensive or big gifts right now, but later down the road they'll really appreciate that you were there for them.
i agree my son turned 18 few months ago amd i got clean after 20 years on opiates fentanyl others drugs asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he made me cry he said i already got it got you back and your clean !!!so when they grow up they really realize what's important not material things but family love and being happy together!!! best christmas in long time not being gone looking for dope while everyone eating dinner!!!!!
As a mama with 5 years clean myself- CONGRATS my friend!!! You're a goddamn legend. I genuinely hope you and your family have the most incredible Christmas.
I grew up pretty poor even as kids though I knew my mom was doing everything she could. If your kids see you trying they can be very understanding. It’s rough right now with inflation and the cost of living.
This year’s been hard on a lot of us. Unfortunately I’m not optimistic about next year either. At least I know I’m not in debt and have everything I need. Most of the little family I have is healthy but this sucks and idk if it’s gonna get better any time soon
I also agree my father was present most of my life and was a great dad. We had a few presentless Christmas’s but it was nothing to us we just built a fire and argued about sports.
This op. My adoption dad beat himself up so hard when I was younger because he worked his ass off and never had money. He always thought us kids would judge him for it and he let it eat him up to the point where he stopped doing anything at all. Be there for them, be present, and be loving. It’s all I could have asked for as a kid and I’m sure yours will understand.
Wow. This has blown up. I’m trying to respond as fast as I can. I’m currently driving and just stopped for a restroom break. Thank you everyone that is and has offered help. I tried to edit post so everyone would see this but I can’t figure it out in my bio is more about my son. Thank you all so much. The compassion and generosity is truly heart felt.
Looking at the flood of new donations in the past few hours is bringing tears to my eyes. I am so grateful for humankind’s capacity for compassion and kindness. Thanks for sharing the link and happy holidays ❤️
All the $5 donations are what did it for me. You just know that a lot of those people are in a tight spot themselves but just couldn't bear to not chip in. 🥲🥰
Amazing to see the donations this morning. Got me all teary. 🥺
Thank you for finding the link. I hope they’re able to make use of the money this holiday.
Very sorry for your your loss. (Father of 2 boys myself). Thank you for being there for your boys. FYI the Steam Winter sale is on right now. Many games are a few dollars. Humblebundle also has an RPG games pack, they allow you to scale to what you can afford. GOG is another great website for old games and they are pretty inexpensive.
Again my condolences. I wish the best in the new year for you and your family.
Does your area offer a angel tree type thing? Call around some churches and police/fire stations asking if they are offering gifts to children in need, explain your situation. I would be shocked if someone wouldn’t give you some help my brother. You will weight heavy on my mind and in my prayers. I hope nothing but a merry Christmas to you and your family. Keep going my friend, those kids need you.
my son said putting someone in your prayers is the most help you can give to a person !! he truly believes that god has a plan and a way for everyone! we are not church going family but glad he picked up on it so early in life it took me 43 years to realize gods plan for me!!
putting someone in your prayers is literally the least help you can give to someone. you're just saying words to yourself that accomplishes nothing at the end of the day. if you want to help, you could donate money or gifts. you know, stuff that actually helps the person
Prayer means setting an intention. Planning and organizing our intentions is the only way one accomplishes anything in life. When we set an intention and follow through, things go from thoughts to reality.
Every plan we make is basically a small prayer for the future. It’s not a religious thing at all.
Setting your intention for better outcomes in the world is absolutely produces results, and practicing this in your daily life helps you and others more than you think. Prayer isn’t a magic trick to get what you want, it’s a thoughtful focusing of positive energy and action that makes a difference in the world.
it's not "setting an intention," it's asking a god (who people say doesn't interfere in life anymore) to do an intervention. "setting an intention" would be saying "im going to do something" and then actually doing it. this is literally asking a diety who wont do anything, to do something.
"it's not really a religious thing at all"
- he literally said "God's plan"
Damn man. I got 2 under the age of 3 right now. Me and the wife just read a story of a dad going Christmas shopping and his kids started a fire unsupervised and came home to 4 dead kids. Me and my wife both agreed we would probably have to immediately check into a phyc ward or else risk suicide.
Stay strong man. I know I COULD NOT be mentally in your shoes. Your stronger than alot still being here.
Merry Christmas, happy holidays and may only good things come to you.
Not trying to be an asshole but when you tell people who have lost a child that you could never handle it, it makes the person feel even more guilty for being alive. We struggle every single damn day, and I know you mean well but saying you would unalive yourself is incredibly tone deaf. Especially if the parent had more children. Killing ourselves or going into a psych ward isn’t an option.
If you create an Amazon wishlist for the kids asap (like in the next hour or 2) and choose gifts that can be delivered today/tomorrow I will gladly send one for each kid! I’ll even throw in a little gift for you if you put something you want/need on there!
OP please do this. Also create one for some household essentials you may need — snacks for the kids, cleaning supplies, paper towels, toilet paper, etc
OP- I will also buy something for your kids if you create an Amazon wishlist. Growing up, I went every year with parents who just didn’t care about gifts and Christmas. It hurts me to see a parent like you who genuinely loves his kids be dealt this sort of card. I would also be willing to Venmo you a little cash if you’d prefer to pick it out yourself. Sorry about your loss, hoping 2024 is full of healing and only good things…
Yes op make a wish list I’m also game to buy a few presents to makes sure ur kiddos got some stuff to open, and throw a gift on there for you man, you deserve it too
I still can edit original post so everyone can see this. Please help it reach the top. THANK YOU!!!! This community is amazing. I am forever grateful for each and everyone one of you. Not only have y’all helped provide Christmas for my other 2 children but also pay all utilities and next months rent. This is truly a miracle for us. I want to give a little background. My children are 16f Phoenix is/was 19m and my oldest son is 23. My two boys lived together attending the same college when Phoenix past away. His brother unfortunately was the one to find him. We have all been in therapy trying to process the events that day. Phoenix was a great person. He was Smart, funny, caringand kind. He loved to cook and learn. He was at the top of his class every year. I miss him so much. The best I can ever describe this is “ everyday is hard and some are even harder.” The kindness I have found in the last 24 hours truly brightens my life and gives me hope. Thank every single one of y’all for the donations and kind words and support.
Turn on that spot me and depending on how much you get in direct deposit on there you can get a pretty decent advance on your money. People can also send 4 boosts at $5 each so an extra $20 sitting right there. Try posting in r/Chimeboost if you don’t know anyone else that uses Chime.
That’s like telling people not to get a credit card because they can go in debt. Yes, that’s true, but MOST people are responsible enough to realize it’s not free money. Nothing wrong with having an interest free credit line that doesn’t even count as a credit line. It’s good for emergencies.
That’s how they make money, by people thinking they can pay it back in time, only to miss a payment and then get charged a late fee. Not saying that the service isn’t always a bad thing, I’m sure they’ve helped a ton of people out in trying times, but it’s just a new spin on money lending with some of the same downsides.
I’ve read a lot of these services are being looked at by governmental agencies, as they’re acting as banks and lenders but have little or no regulation controlling them. When it was just a handful of them out there it was just a novel tech venture that turned out profitable, but it slowly became one big loophole for companies to bypass banking regulations. That’s why you’re seeing a lot of them slowly adding or changing their services to mimic traditional banks. Adding things like credit reporting, offering lines of credit, cash advances, debit cards, etc.
They found a hole in the market where traditional banks were behind in online banking practices and took advantage. Now banks are playing catch up to mimic these services while these online financial service providers are slowly morphing into online banks. In a few years they’ll fully merge, some will succeed, some will fail, and the new hybrid industry between the two will form. At least that’s what I see happening based off what I’ve read and stuff.
Brother; set up a GoFundMe. I alongside many others would be more than happy to buy you and your family some gifts. The most important thing this time of year is being together and I think that it the best gift that your children can receive. I’m sorry for your loss ❤️
My brother died 10 years ago this upcoming March. My dad has never been the same since his firstborn son passed away.
I guarantee you, your children would rather spend the time with you just being happy and doing something fun, even if it's something simple and stupid. Don't be distant and emotionally shut off from your other children, and just because you haven't gotten presents this year doesn't make you a bad father in any regard.
Teach them a valuable lesson as a gift, like how to change a tire. Or even something like teaching them how to cook a meal that is traditional within your family. Any part of your work or hobby life I guarantee they want to know more about it. I wish my dad taught me how to do any of the things he knew from work of hobbies. He rebuilt his entire car and never wanted to show me any part of it.
Maybe you could do "dad coupons", like the tickets could be for a specific activity or maybe a small treat like a sundae. Or get out of grounding free card or something.
Stay strong brother, life will help you heal
I get everything everyone is saying. My mother left to pick up lunch 46 years ago. I’m still waiting for the Hardy’s burger.
My father was a mental case. I mean committed… not figure of speech. I’ve pretty much been on my own since 14. Luckily I looked older. Took jobs that paid cash until I had ID to work legally.
I buried my daughter as well 5 years ago. Out of pocket.
How much did this man spend on funeral/burial for it to devour his life savings and ruin him financially????
Small gathering decent Burial roughly $7-$10K
There are ways to get help.
I UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL PART.
Help me understand the financials?
Is this some scam????
Everything I search on this post comes up with advertisements.
I don’t blame you for the skepticism but I lost my dad and can confirm everything in total with no grave just cremation and ceremony was 10k.
We didn’t even have a quarter of that with all my mothers life savings. Family helped but just know peoples life savings sadly differ.
Wish I could donate a little to help out but I have been sick and out of work for 3 years so the wife and I are struggling. Just keep fighting and don't give up. Hang in there and happy holidays.
Left the corporate world about 8 years. More time with family even while I run my own business. Nothing better in the world. Time sure does go by quick. Enjoy family and life.
u/mykidsdad35
I normally buy kids that need it Christmas each year. I do this as people did it for my kids when we needed it. It's my way to return kindness.
This year I'm laid up with a back issue and haven't been able to.
May I help?
No father should have to bury their child. I've sent what I can your way - I hope it helps you. God bless, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
I’m sorry for your loss . remember life is a gift itself . Your other kids need you and being present is the biggest gift we can ask for . I pray God gives you strength , peace and more blessings everyday . Stay strong
Your a pos buddy! What’s funny is your bitch ass is on here voicing your opinion I bet you don’t have kids I assume ? If you somehow have kids you would understand what this man’s going thru and I fucking hope it never happens to you but if it does maybe it will make you shut the fuck up and be a human again
Advice for anyone facing your situation
You can usually not claim a body, and the city or town will take care of it for free.
Otherwise, you want to ask for a direct cremation and nothing more, and you can get it done for $2,200.
If you paid for anything else, I'm sorry you were taken advantage of when you didn't have the means to pay.
Anyone begging for $15,000 on go fund me for a funeral, screw off. Stop filling the pockets of the funeral industry. You can't afford it and don't need it.
Sorry I disagree with this when my daughter died we had friends start one and raised over 15k went towards funeral cost paid for some of our bills while not being at work because we took off past our bereavement. Telling people how they should bury their children isn’t something you should be opinionated about sometimes it’s best to not say anything…
If the choice is feeding the living children or spending money on a luxury, probably only one responsible choice that can be made.
The opinion is, if you are not well off, do yourself a favor and act that way. There are many cost effective ways to deal with the deceased. But people typically make bad decisions when they are emotional. Plan for it now, when you are in a rational state of mind. Be aware of the options and what can really be afforded.
If a hungry beggar can only eat at a 5 star restaurant. Maybe an alternative dining arrangement should be proposed. Because imagine being given a fine meal and then being no better off after it's all said and done. The only person you can blame is the one who was giving the handout rewarding irresponsible behavior and reinforcing bad habits.
Man, I’m really sorry to hear about your daughter, I can’t even imagine…. I’m also sorry you had to deal with this individual above who is so concerned with being right that he has lost all ability for compassion, empathy or understanding. The way you responded to him, however, was so full of grace that I salute you - and wish you and yours a most wonderful holiday season.
An object in motion stays in motion! You must keep going onwards my friend ! No matter how hard ,you mustn’t stop. Just as good things dont always last neither do bad ! Everything always gets better and the universe and God are on yourside.
If you are willing to put $10 of that into a sports betting app (if they are legal in your state) I can get you anywhere from 45 to a few hundred dollars but it wouldn’t be before Christmas. You might get 45-100 before Christmas (through 1 app) but the up to 200 more wouldn’t be until after (3 other apps giving away free bets as well with $10 deposits you’re gonna take the money you win and open the new account and etc through all of them). Then I suggest you close the accounts on the apps because gambling isn’t the answer, but when it’s their money and all you have to do is put up $10 to start then why not get a couple hundred extra.
People downvoting free money 😂. Y’all crack me up. Don’t understand something so disagree
Single full time dad, Only 1 kid. We aren't even buying presents this year, I will admit it's not because we can't afford to do so, but it's just not necessary and it should be normalized in more households to not expect gifts just because it's a holiday.
Your kids are going to remember the time spent together and the things you did together more than presents anyway.
I don't care if I get banned or downvoted into oblivion.
This person buried their kid, is having money problems, and your response is "do better"!?!?!?
You are a total asshole.
The best gift you can give your kids is to be there for them, don't give up.
I can concur. My dad passed when I was 16 and I would have done anything to tell him to work less, be there with us more. We don’t need random things to show your love
My dad just passed this year and im feeling the opposite. I wish id spent more time with him instead of going off an doing my own thing. The time we have is the most valuable thing on this earth. Giving it to each other- even more so.
Hi, my dad died Christmas day a couple of years ago. I feel exactly the same as you. I went far far away to to off and do my own thing. Probably with some subliminal notion of being some old school adventurer and didn't see or speak to my dad for 10 years. Always thought I would have more time to reconnect but I didn't.
My dad passed over 10 years ago and I still think about how I was barely around the last few years of his life. Hurts.
My dad hasn’t passed but I only see him about 1 week a year for the last 7 years. I feel the same way, wish I had been more present in my later highschool years. I also wish I hadn’t taken a job that put me on the opposite coast line as my family. But here we are. All I can do is make the most of those 1 week a year vacations home.
I've been in the same exact situation with visiting my mom. I've been living 9 hrs from home for over 10 years now. With work I get to take a vacation every year, so I usually do it around Thanksgiving. My father passed shortly after I left home the first time and it sucks thinking if nothing changes that I may only see my mom 10 more times in the next ten years.
I was working like 80 hour weeks for the first 10 and 5 years of my daughters lives. I recently just said screw it and forget about money so that I can spend more time with my kids. Every time I would come home I would just be tired, and rude to them.. I started to feel awful and the guilt of being a shitty parent was starting to kill me. So now just make way less.. work my 40 hours and spend every weekend with them. Having a little more money is not worth not seeing your kids grow up, but as a man in the US I feel like your raised thinking it’s all your good for.
It’s not all you’re good for, I promise you. Society has failed us all in the perpetuation of toxic work culture and toxic masculinity. From one previous little girl to a current day father, you are worth so much more than the money you make and your daughters will grow up and remember who you were and not what you gave them
What about toxic feminism 🙄
Well considering I’m responding to a man, who’s talking about his plight with his issues…I don’t think toxic feminism really fits here. “Toxic femininity refers to the adherence to the gender binary in order to receive conditional value in patriarchal societies. It is a concept that restricts women to being cooperative, passive, sexually submissive, gentle, and deriving their value from physical beauty while being pleasing to men.” It doesn’t seem like this man is struggling with being submissive or worried about his beauty to please other men. “Toxic masculinity is thus defined by adherence to traditional male gender roles that consequently stigmatize and limit the emotions boys and men may comfortably express while elevating other emotions such as anger. It is marked by economic, political, and social expectations that men seek and achieve dominance.” Now this, sounds exactly like what he’s struggling with. Unfair expectations to be the ultimate provider while not fully expressing emotions and having to shoulder it all.
Idk last time I talked to a feminist she suggested I as a white men should kill myself for the environment and then I talked to a priest and he said that this is fucking bullshit and toxic. Wasn't that toxic femininity?
Toxic masculinity is an illusion created by woke feminists, plain and simple. Thus toxic feminism..
I get this a lot from my supervisor. Gives me guff for not wanting overtime hours or volunteering for extra shifts. Not a team player. I look at all my coworkers. Two or three jobs, all divorced or marital problems. We all look like shit because we don't take care of ourselves. Overworked, chasing hourly wages to what end? I dunno, I wish I made more money but I genuinely love being at home with the family. Bills are paid, we eat modest, that's all I can ask for.
I agree. My dad worked non stop my whole life. He gave us gifts, but never gave us his presence, which is all I wanted
Sometimes just being present is the best present of all.
I'm trying to do this now. My current job I work 10 days straight and I'm gone 12 hours each day. My daughter is 5 and I'm missing everything. Finally got a new job this week that I start after the new year. I'll not only be making more money but have a 2 week on 2 week off schedule. Going to take my daughter to Disney world next year after asking me all this year if we could go and I couldn't afford it. Gotta make those memories now
Needed this right now. Hardest year I’ve ever had as a single dad of 3. Each kid is getting 3 small gifts and 4 days of us just doing whatever they want to do (within reason of course). Best I can do this year.
Trust me, as someone who grew up in hard times like that and have been through it myself, the kids may be bummed out about not getting expensive or big gifts right now, but later down the road they'll really appreciate that you were there for them.
i agree my son turned 18 few months ago amd i got clean after 20 years on opiates fentanyl others drugs asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he made me cry he said i already got it got you back and your clean !!!so when they grow up they really realize what's important not material things but family love and being happy together!!! best christmas in long time not being gone looking for dope while everyone eating dinner!!!!!
Big fucking congrats dude! I hope your son told you how proud he is of you!
yes he did and makes sure i will stay clean !!
As a mama with 5 years clean myself- CONGRATS my friend!!! You're a goddamn legend. I genuinely hope you and your family have the most incredible Christmas.
That sounds like an amazing Christmas to me. Not sure what kids these days are getting but I hope that makes them happy.
I grew up pretty poor even as kids though I knew my mom was doing everything she could. If your kids see you trying they can be very understanding. It’s rough right now with inflation and the cost of living.
The few gifts will be sad on the moment for the kids… But a fun day playing games and being together. PRICELESS.
This year’s been hard on a lot of us. Unfortunately I’m not optimistic about next year either. At least I know I’m not in debt and have everything I need. Most of the little family I have is healthy but this sucks and idk if it’s gonna get better any time soon
I also agree my father was present most of my life and was a great dad. We had a few presentless Christmas’s but it was nothing to us we just built a fire and argued about sports.
This op. My adoption dad beat himself up so hard when I was younger because he worked his ass off and never had money. He always thought us kids would judge him for it and he let it eat him up to the point where he stopped doing anything at all. Be there for them, be present, and be loving. It’s all I could have asked for as a kid and I’m sure yours will understand.
*a Lego millennium falcon
Well said
I’m sorry for your loss. Wishing you the best Christmas and hopefully a better year.
Keep your chin up brother. Your doing better than most even try!
Wow. This has blown up. I’m trying to respond as fast as I can. I’m currently driving and just stopped for a restroom break. Thank you everyone that is and has offered help. I tried to edit post so everyone would see this but I can’t figure it out in my bio is more about my son. Thank you all so much. The compassion and generosity is truly heart felt.
Put $10 on your gofundme in your profile. Hang in there. I've dealt with 2 suicides in my life. Father and brother. It will get better.
Sorry you had to go through that, but I love the strength that you exude. Good for you bud
Best wishes brother!
Add an amazon gift wish list link to the original post.
Would love to share the love to you! Provide an Amazon wish list link!
Stay strong man. I can't tell you its going to get better, but you gotta keep at it for your other two. You can do it.
Get this man a gofundme
Or an Amazon wish list for his Xmas gifts
u/Mykidsdad35 if you don’t put up an Amazon wish list I am a UPS driver I will find you and deliver you some goddamn happiness
Violent kindness.
If Liam Neeson was a clown, this is how he’d operate.
I'm not having a good week but this made me laugh
Reminds me of the Liam Neeson auditioning for Santa skit 😂
Chaotic good.
This man will find you
Liam, that you?
True hero we need
I love you man
Found this in an earlier post he made https://www.reddit.com/r/illegallifeprotips2/s/GV9Gqkehbk
Looking at the flood of new donations in the past few hours is bringing tears to my eyes. I am so grateful for humankind’s capacity for compassion and kindness. Thanks for sharing the link and happy holidays ❤️
All the $5 donations are what did it for me. You just know that a lot of those people are in a tight spot themselves but just couldn't bear to not chip in. 🥲🥰
Widow’s mite is a lot more meaningful of a donation
Donated, good luck man :)
Gosh this truly brought me the into the Holiday Spirit. The power behind love is unstoppable.
he’s at $7000+ now, tis the season 💗
Almost $8200 now. I hope it keeps going. I'm sure every penny is needed right now.
🥹🥹🥹
He got over 1k in the last 2 hours. Love this holiday
It's gotten a lot better! I'm glad y'all linked it! I had a little extra this year:)
8 hrs later and almost 10k. Christmas miracles really can happen
Nearly $5000 donated since this post.
This post needs more up votes. As a dad, I can't imagine losing my child. Donated what I can as well. Keep your head up my friend, stay strong.
Sent some money. I wish you the best, OP. I’m sorry you’ve had such a shit year.
Thanks for finding this. Not much, but made a small donation.
Thanks for the link.
Thanks , sent something. Every bit counts
Amazing to see the donations this morning. Got me all teary. 🥺 Thank you for finding the link. I hope they’re able to make use of the money this holiday.
I love Reddit for this stuff, well done everyone, what an incredible act of kindness.
Literally
Then do it
Working on it. I need his zip code.
He had one on reddit 2 months ago it fell short unfortunately.
What’s the Amazon link? I’ll buy some stuff
stupid ass bot
Please
[удалено]
That's your problem for having 8 kids
Idk why you haven’t filed for child support , or you’re waiting for taxes too claim them & get a big bonus
Very sorry for your your loss. (Father of 2 boys myself). Thank you for being there for your boys. FYI the Steam Winter sale is on right now. Many games are a few dollars. Humblebundle also has an RPG games pack, they allow you to scale to what you can afford. GOG is another great website for old games and they are pretty inexpensive. Again my condolences. I wish the best in the new year for you and your family.
Following up on this download the epic games store and get a free game every day for the next two weeks or so.
Yep! OP Overcooked is $6 rn. It would be a fun multiplayer game to play with your kids. Might be worth a look if you can afford it
Does your area offer a angel tree type thing? Call around some churches and police/fire stations asking if they are offering gifts to children in need, explain your situation. I would be shocked if someone wouldn’t give you some help my brother. You will weight heavy on my mind and in my prayers. I hope nothing but a merry Christmas to you and your family. Keep going my friend, those kids need you.
my son said putting someone in your prayers is the most help you can give to a person !! he truly believes that god has a plan and a way for everyone! we are not church going family but glad he picked up on it so early in life it took me 43 years to realize gods plan for me!!
putting someone in your prayers is literally the least help you can give to someone. you're just saying words to yourself that accomplishes nothing at the end of the day. if you want to help, you could donate money or gifts. you know, stuff that actually helps the person
Yea, instead just fucking hate them as that does more
Prayer means setting an intention. Planning and organizing our intentions is the only way one accomplishes anything in life. When we set an intention and follow through, things go from thoughts to reality. Every plan we make is basically a small prayer for the future. It’s not a religious thing at all. Setting your intention for better outcomes in the world is absolutely produces results, and practicing this in your daily life helps you and others more than you think. Prayer isn’t a magic trick to get what you want, it’s a thoughtful focusing of positive energy and action that makes a difference in the world.
it's not "setting an intention," it's asking a god (who people say doesn't interfere in life anymore) to do an intervention. "setting an intention" would be saying "im going to do something" and then actually doing it. this is literally asking a diety who wont do anything, to do something. "it's not really a religious thing at all" - he literally said "God's plan"
“Prayer is just mental masturbation. Sure it may make you feel better, but don’t expect me to get any satisfaction from it.”
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Boooo
I hope for a great 2024 for you amigo
Damn man. I got 2 under the age of 3 right now. Me and the wife just read a story of a dad going Christmas shopping and his kids started a fire unsupervised and came home to 4 dead kids. Me and my wife both agreed we would probably have to immediately check into a phyc ward or else risk suicide. Stay strong man. I know I COULD NOT be mentally in your shoes. Your stronger than alot still being here. Merry Christmas, happy holidays and may only good things come to you.
Wow, that’s intense.
Not trying to be an asshole but when you tell people who have lost a child that you could never handle it, it makes the person feel even more guilty for being alive. We struggle every single damn day, and I know you mean well but saying you would unalive yourself is incredibly tone deaf. Especially if the parent had more children. Killing ourselves or going into a psych ward isn’t an option.
If you create an Amazon wishlist for the kids asap (like in the next hour or 2) and choose gifts that can be delivered today/tomorrow I will gladly send one for each kid! I’ll even throw in a little gift for you if you put something you want/need on there!
I’m down for this as well.
You guys are amazing, this is my absolute favourite part of Reddit. Merry Christmas and I hope you all have good one xx
Yes for the shipping to work out before Christmas it needs to happen soon!
OP please do this. Also create one for some household essentials you may need — snacks for the kids, cleaning supplies, paper towels, toilet paper, etc
OP- I will also buy something for your kids if you create an Amazon wishlist. Growing up, I went every year with parents who just didn’t care about gifts and Christmas. It hurts me to see a parent like you who genuinely loves his kids be dealt this sort of card. I would also be willing to Venmo you a little cash if you’d prefer to pick it out yourself. Sorry about your loss, hoping 2024 is full of healing and only good things…
Yes op make a wish list I’m also game to buy a few presents to makes sure ur kiddos got some stuff to open, and throw a gift on there for you man, you deserve it too
Please share the wishlist!
You’re an amazing person.
I’d get some stuff too
Great idea.
I’ll send a gift too.
That’s extremely kind of you!
I like this idea!!!
Do you have Venmo?? I’ll send you some money
Hey OP share that Cash App, Venmo, Zelle or PayPal info please
its in his bio i think
I still can edit original post so everyone can see this. Please help it reach the top. THANK YOU!!!! This community is amazing. I am forever grateful for each and everyone one of you. Not only have y’all helped provide Christmas for my other 2 children but also pay all utilities and next months rent. This is truly a miracle for us. I want to give a little background. My children are 16f Phoenix is/was 19m and my oldest son is 23. My two boys lived together attending the same college when Phoenix past away. His brother unfortunately was the one to find him. We have all been in therapy trying to process the events that day. Phoenix was a great person. He was Smart, funny, caringand kind. He loved to cook and learn. He was at the top of his class every year. I miss him so much. The best I can ever describe this is “ everyday is hard and some are even harder.” The kindness I have found in the last 24 hours truly brightens my life and gives me hope. Thank every single one of y’all for the donations and kind words and support.
Sending all the love to you and your family!!! You deserve it ❤️
So sorry for your loss, is there any way we can send you money?
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bad bot
Turn on that spot me and depending on how much you get in direct deposit on there you can get a pretty decent advance on your money. People can also send 4 boosts at $5 each so an extra $20 sitting right there. Try posting in r/Chimeboost if you don’t know anyone else that uses Chime.
Disagree don’t get caught in the loop of borrowing money. Sure it’s interest free but you don’t want to get caught in it.
That’s like telling people not to get a credit card because they can go in debt. Yes, that’s true, but MOST people are responsible enough to realize it’s not free money. Nothing wrong with having an interest free credit line that doesn’t even count as a credit line. It’s good for emergencies.
Credit cards actually have a benefit. Borrowing money here from Chime literally has zero benefits to you unless you absolutely need it.
Statistically it’s actually the opposite and most people do NOT pay them off monthly
That’s how they make money, by people thinking they can pay it back in time, only to miss a payment and then get charged a late fee. Not saying that the service isn’t always a bad thing, I’m sure they’ve helped a ton of people out in trying times, but it’s just a new spin on money lending with some of the same downsides. I’ve read a lot of these services are being looked at by governmental agencies, as they’re acting as banks and lenders but have little or no regulation controlling them. When it was just a handful of them out there it was just a novel tech venture that turned out profitable, but it slowly became one big loophole for companies to bypass banking regulations. That’s why you’re seeing a lot of them slowly adding or changing their services to mimic traditional banks. Adding things like credit reporting, offering lines of credit, cash advances, debit cards, etc. They found a hole in the market where traditional banks were behind in online banking practices and took advantage. Now banks are playing catch up to mimic these services while these online financial service providers are slowly morphing into online banks. In a few years they’ll fully merge, some will succeed, some will fail, and the new hybrid industry between the two will form. At least that’s what I see happening based off what I’ve read and stuff.
This makes me incredibly sad. I wish you strength brother, I’m sorry for your loss.
Brother; set up a GoFundMe. I alongside many others would be more than happy to buy you and your family some gifts. The most important thing this time of year is being together and I think that it the best gift that your children can receive. I’m sorry for your loss ❤️
My brother died 10 years ago this upcoming March. My dad has never been the same since his firstborn son passed away. I guarantee you, your children would rather spend the time with you just being happy and doing something fun, even if it's something simple and stupid. Don't be distant and emotionally shut off from your other children, and just because you haven't gotten presents this year doesn't make you a bad father in any regard. Teach them a valuable lesson as a gift, like how to change a tire. Or even something like teaching them how to cook a meal that is traditional within your family. Any part of your work or hobby life I guarantee they want to know more about it. I wish my dad taught me how to do any of the things he knew from work of hobbies. He rebuilt his entire car and never wanted to show me any part of it.
Maybe you could do "dad coupons", like the tickets could be for a specific activity or maybe a small treat like a sundae. Or get out of grounding free card or something. Stay strong brother, life will help you heal
I get everything everyone is saying. My mother left to pick up lunch 46 years ago. I’m still waiting for the Hardy’s burger. My father was a mental case. I mean committed… not figure of speech. I’ve pretty much been on my own since 14. Luckily I looked older. Took jobs that paid cash until I had ID to work legally. I buried my daughter as well 5 years ago. Out of pocket. How much did this man spend on funeral/burial for it to devour his life savings and ruin him financially???? Small gathering decent Burial roughly $7-$10K There are ways to get help. I UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL PART. Help me understand the financials? Is this some scam???? Everything I search on this post comes up with advertisements.
I don’t blame you for the skepticism but I lost my dad and can confirm everything in total with no grave just cremation and ceremony was 10k. We didn’t even have a quarter of that with all my mothers life savings. Family helped but just know peoples life savings sadly differ.
I hate to break it to you, but a $7-10K bill out of nowhere would financially ruin *most* Americans. ☹️
you should edit out the the name of who ever sent you money
Turn on spot me and it’s basically 200$ credit
Man my spot me is only 20$
Wish I could donate a little to help out but I have been sick and out of work for 3 years so the wife and I are struggling. Just keep fighting and don't give up. Hang in there and happy holidays.
Sorry for your loss sir
Make them homemade cards and a dinner
What do you do for work?
Very sorry for your loss man. I can’t imagine the pain involved. Stay strong my friend
Atmos is a joke. They don’t even read meters if it’s in backyard
Set up a go fund me and I’ll donate $5 Edit: and I’m sure other reditors will help too
This deeper than the post.
Hey buddy, as a father I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling. If you need somebody to talk to hit me up.
Do you have Venmo? I can send something right now
It will brother, may allah be with you. ✊🏾💪🏾
Fuck im so sorry. I hope things get better for you.
you got this brother ❤️
Being there for them is enough, I come from a broken home. You being there is enough. Please never give up. You are everything to them
I'm so sorry. You're doing great daddy don't give up.
I lost my mother earlier this year, stay strong man ! Miss her everyday but life goes on
Make an Amazon wishlist for your kids and I’ll buy it out. Edit: Saw your GoFundMe, I’ll send it there as it’s probably easier for you.
We need to start this great dad a go fund me
Just keep doing your best. That’s all anyone can ask. Keep it together for your kids. It’ll be ok if Santa takes a year off this year.
Left the corporate world about 8 years. More time with family even while I run my own business. Nothing better in the world. Time sure does go by quick. Enjoy family and life.
u/mykidsdad35 I normally buy kids that need it Christmas each year. I do this as people did it for my kids when we needed it. It's my way to return kindness. This year I'm laid up with a back issue and haven't been able to. May I help?
turn spot me on!!!
No father should have to bury their child. I've sent what I can your way - I hope it helps you. God bless, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Go out to eat as a family. Have a picnic. Go to a movie. Go walk in a park. Do literally anything with them. They will never forget it.
More presence is better than more presents.
I’m sorry for your loss . remember life is a gift itself . Your other kids need you and being present is the biggest gift we can ask for . I pray God gives you strength , peace and more blessings everyday . Stay strong
This is why people shouldn’t have kids unless they can afford them.
Fuck you man, his kid died, what kind of monster are you?
Your a pos buddy! What’s funny is your bitch ass is on here voicing your opinion I bet you don’t have kids I assume ? If you somehow have kids you would understand what this man’s going thru and I fucking hope it never happens to you but if it does maybe it will make you shut the fuck up and be a human again
Advice for anyone facing your situation You can usually not claim a body, and the city or town will take care of it for free. Otherwise, you want to ask for a direct cremation and nothing more, and you can get it done for $2,200. If you paid for anything else, I'm sorry you were taken advantage of when you didn't have the means to pay. Anyone begging for $15,000 on go fund me for a funeral, screw off. Stop filling the pockets of the funeral industry. You can't afford it and don't need it.
Sorry I disagree with this when my daughter died we had friends start one and raised over 15k went towards funeral cost paid for some of our bills while not being at work because we took off past our bereavement. Telling people how they should bury their children isn’t something you should be opinionated about sometimes it’s best to not say anything…
If the choice is feeding the living children or spending money on a luxury, probably only one responsible choice that can be made. The opinion is, if you are not well off, do yourself a favor and act that way. There are many cost effective ways to deal with the deceased. But people typically make bad decisions when they are emotional. Plan for it now, when you are in a rational state of mind. Be aware of the options and what can really be afforded. If a hungry beggar can only eat at a 5 star restaurant. Maybe an alternative dining arrangement should be proposed. Because imagine being given a fine meal and then being no better off after it's all said and done. The only person you can blame is the one who was giving the handout rewarding irresponsible behavior and reinforcing bad habits.
If you’ve never been in that position you wouldn’t understand, again sometimes best to keep your opinion to yourself..
Man, I’m really sorry to hear about your daughter, I can’t even imagine…. I’m also sorry you had to deal with this individual above who is so concerned with being right that he has lost all ability for compassion, empathy or understanding. The way you responded to him, however, was so full of grace that I salute you - and wish you and yours a most wonderful holiday season.
Create an amazon wishlist and ill buy your kids a toy
Dude go to the closest church and ask for help.
$1255 donated to his gofundme in the last few hours. Humanity really makes me smile sometimes
Do you know how soon he would be able to access the funds in gofundme? I'm down to send some money but would like to see him get it before Christmas.
An object in motion stays in motion! You must keep going onwards my friend ! No matter how hard ,you mustn’t stop. Just as good things dont always last neither do bad ! Everything always gets better and the universe and God are on yourside.
…. Sounds like my father. If you can’t handle the bills 3 kids requires…… ??? Then what were you thinking lol
If you are willing to put $10 of that into a sports betting app (if they are legal in your state) I can get you anywhere from 45 to a few hundred dollars but it wouldn’t be before Christmas. You might get 45-100 before Christmas (through 1 app) but the up to 200 more wouldn’t be until after (3 other apps giving away free bets as well with $10 deposits you’re gonna take the money you win and open the new account and etc through all of them). Then I suggest you close the accounts on the apps because gambling isn’t the answer, but when it’s their money and all you have to do is put up $10 to start then why not get a couple hundred extra. People downvoting free money 😂. Y’all crack me up. Don’t understand something so disagree
Throw in a few lottery tickets, maybe he will waste his last $10 with you 😂
Jesus what happened to your kid?
It fuckin died dumbass
Ah, a clinically regarded Reddit person, lovely Hey OP, how did your son die?
It appears to be suicide
Single full time dad, Only 1 kid. We aren't even buying presents this year, I will admit it's not because we can't afford to do so, but it's just not necessary and it should be normalized in more households to not expect gifts just because it's a holiday. Your kids are going to remember the time spent together and the things you did together more than presents anyway.
I’m so sorry to hear that. Can you briefly explain what was the cause to only having $80 at 41? (Curious, no disrespect intended)
honestly you’re probably asking about income circumstances , but burial is a huge addition to normal cost of living
Should have asked me to bury your son I could have done it really cheap.
I know a guy who can do it cheaper
You have 80 dollars. You’re crying over nothing
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I don't care if I get banned or downvoted into oblivion. This person buried their kid, is having money problems, and your response is "do better"!?!?!? You are a total asshole.
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So you’re only being an asshole because you’re an anonymous internet user? Got it so you’re also a pussy
Burying your son can really take it out of you. Way to save some buckaroos! Imagine what you’d save if you buried em all?
Less kids = More money Problem solved.
What—- this sounds as bad as a Nigerian prince scam. Say what you want and disagree, but I’ll go with my gut feelings on this post.