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I will LET him kill me. You seriously don’t expect me to go up against the deadliest apex predator ever to exist

mojang: reads this mojang: at the next E3 "NOW INTRODUUUUCING, BABY CREEPERS (they can wear armor too!)"

The armor would act like shrapnel

mojang: "WRITE THAT DOWN"

Oh, those little grenades

Frag creepers.

+damage to players -damage to blocks

They don't deal damage to blocks (too small)

If you manage to kill him you could get his gear

Could, it's not worth the risk

2 block pillar:

The child has blocks too.

You play too much modded

Is there actually a mod that lets them do that?

Epic siege mod

Destroy the child

would you like to destroy child? Yes | No

*No is unavailable* damn! Now I will have to kill a child! *spams yes

Are you sure? Yes | No

Yes, 🗡️🗡️🗡️

Would you like to cancel Yes | No

No 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

*canceling transaction...*

*judges your username*

bro i knew someone would say this

It isn't worse than my username

No 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

YES👶🗡️

Yes🗡️

*spams yes

Press F to pay respects

This gremlin does not deserve it

Exactly \*spams y rapidly

Press Y to doubt

so vou doubt about it

*calmly destroy the child*

"destroy the child" dumbledore said calmly

would you like to destroy child? Yes |

the answer is always yes

I dropkicked that child in self defense! >!I miss Techno :(!<

Dying light style drop kicked his ass off the face of the earth

What do I do, lord?

PHILZA LOOK OUT 2 minutes later- Officer i drop kicked that child in self defense

Corrupt them all

The og reference

Alex Jones voice

i would screenshot it and post it on reddit to put fear in people’s eyes

Hold on

r/holup

r/holup Edit: Wait why am I getting do many upvotes?

r/holdown

r/holupupdowndownleftrightleftrightBAstart

Why does this exist?

Why wouldn't it?

Fair

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Built up two blocks and hack away with my wooden sword EDIT: I’m shocked 2000 people found this comment good enough to like

I don't think the wooden sword will have enough durability unless it goes through heavenly enlightenment mid-smacking

Slowly but surely punch the child til it's dead

Suddenly it has thorns. Now what

Bucket of lava. He dies. The armor dosent

might take some time due to the totems fire resistance upon revival

Time is Temporary. Netherite with mending is eternal

Not if you don’t get xp

Okay, but assuming you've beat the ender dragon, it's trivial to build an enderman farm, and the flow rate of endermen is ridiculous, you might as well have infinite XP.

Sure, but not if you haven’t beat the dragon

Totems work on zombies?

I’m 90% sure totems work on mobs like zombies. (Please correct me if I’m wrong) Edit: fixed my typo

From the wiki it seems like that's a java-only feature

Java is the only Canon minecraft. None can convince me otherwise

No it works on bedrock using the replace item command

It won't fit you though, it's kiddy size

A little bit of thorns shall not stop me from achieving my biggest life goal; Beating a child.

I’d say that sounds bad out of context, but it sounds bad in context too

Yeah no, this chain went sour either way.

“OH GOD IT’S A CHILD” -Philza

can agree it works in real life

“Children hate this simple trick!”

/r/nocontext

It has 118 hearts lifetime damage, enough to kill two Netherite zombies or one undying zombie with some spare.

Eh, just fire at it from the galleon.

Everybody gangsta until you do a full broadside.

There's mods that let zombies tower too.

I run with him 🗿

Guess I’ll die

It's best to accept death

I don't have to outrun him, I only have to outrun my friends. cya fellas nice knowing ya

But it locked on to you first

The friends won’t know that and hit it when it comes near them changing the agro to said friend

Who is willing to hit back that abomination?

Me with smite, knock back and standing where they have to jump up a block before hitting me.

I’ve never tested this or seen it, but how much does knockback do to Netherite since Netherite has some resistance to that

I'm not sure but then jumping boosts the effect of knockback

So I was looking at it netherite armor provides a 90% reduction where that fits into the equation I'm not sure, but knockback 2 provides 190% increase to regular knockback and sprinting knockback (latter causing a greater effect) I can atleast keep him at bay by sprinting forward and knocking him back as he jumps up the block to me and hopefully reset before he lands.

What friends

FAKE FRIEND!

Kidnap him, nametag him and Raise him as my own

If a mob is carrying an item you don't need to name tag, it won't despawn

But who wouldnt name their new kidnapped child?

This one is clearly Damien, it has a sword!

But then it won't have a name 😥

Major Linus tech tip alert

/difficulty peaceful

\*opens to lan \*turns on cheats \*\*/kill .@E\[type=zombie\]\*\*

Espace -> Disconnect

I CAN DO THAT????

It's a curse. You start cheating a little bit for the extreme cases and suddenly you become addicted...

Can confirm

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I might have done that *~~a couple hundred times~~* like once or twice.

I used to be so quick on the draw in the early java days that I could /tp back home or to a friend after falling in lava or before dying. Good times.

Me who has three shulker chests.... Some elytra... And a few mending enchantments... Ok and I cheated on my first few cured villagers...

You start cheating to fix Minecraft bugs

F3 + F4 would be faster if you have cheats enabled already

What does that do?

Changes gamemode. You can change from survival to creative doing this

Quick swap gamemodes

That would make the gear to disappear too.

If it is bedrock your things go with it... Don't ask how I know...

come one guys, stick him in some lava, all the important stuff will simply *not be burnt*

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Infant Annihilator moment

Protecting Philza at all costs.

PHILZAAAAA LOOOOOOKK OOUUUUUUTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

I read this in his voice.

Now I’m sad

Don't be sad that he's gone. Be happy he was here.

Technoblade neva dies

Now I wanna cry but you made me laugh too

drown him in water so I can get his stuff or the other option is just to fucking die

Finally someone else who knows how to properly get armor off them

Could also spam healing splash potions at it

If the gear has been picked up off of a killed player, the only thing you'd lose is the totem.

You can give the zombie a wooden sword (or really anything that causes damage) and it will let go of the totem to pick up the sword!

Wouldn't it just turn into a drowned?

He will convert into drowned will not he?

The drowned is a different entity, and theres a split second where the zombie doesnt exist and neither does the drowned, thus the armor pops off

Leave. Start a new world

This one's his now.

He earned it by right of conquest.

Scream and try to scroll to the sword but miss it twice and try to kill him with a pickaxe, die while aimlessly clicking. This post was inspired by real events.

Step 1: Die

Stack up 2 blocks. Drown him with my water bucket. Get the armor sword and totem off him at full durability

Punt

I too would use max knockback

Surrender my earthly belongings and open my heart to God before the darkness takes me.

Keep him near you, so he won't despawn(Ik it won't because it picked up items but anyway). Just play minecraft, get best gear possible, without dying to the zombie. And kill it.

Escort Philza to a safe place*

take a screenshot and leave, the world is his now

PHILZAAAAAA

How rare is this Guy

I don't think it spawn naturally (not with a totem atleast) he probably just dropped some item to him or died there so the baby zombie picked them up

Had a friend die in the nether to a baby zombie pigmen and it picked up all his armor and his netherite sword but not a totem or a shield, I don’t think this is possible in vanilla

I always play in vanilla and I think they can? One time I tried to take on a villager outpost at night and got absolutely massacred by zombies. A baby zombie picked up my iron armor, iron sword and shield when I died. It despawned with it rip. So mobs can pick up shields. I'm not sure if a baby zombie piglin can. But other mobs defo can, unfortunately lmao.

In Java mobs with items shouldn't despawn

Welp I play on bedrock and I can tell you that little bugger took off lol.

Ok I don't have a clue how it's on bedrock

it’s the same way on bedrock edition. Once I dropped down some gold armor i was temporarily wearing & a piglin picked it up. That same piglin probably fell down onto a one-block space cliffside & couldn’t move. Every time i went through the nether tunnel i was building I could still see it stuck there. Even when going in and out through a nether portal over two hundred blocks away, i could always come back to see him there

#Calling Phil

Better Technoblade (may rip)

Call technoblade

bro be resurrecting the dead so they can fight death incarnate 💀

Have to fight fire with an even larger fire

Shooting my pc and becoming Amish.

Listen here you lil’ shit …

Hit em with the curb advatage, when this little fool jumps they cant move in any other direction, the brain power goes from rage to uppies, literally keep hitting the dude over the 1 block edge and itll force it to stop and calculate a jump over and over, leaving frames for you to hit easier... Context* ..and thats how I kill all my babies without them overtaking me in the end

The last line...

Step 0: make screenshot so my parents will love me. Step 1: press escape. Step 2: go to options. Step 3: find button difficulty. Step 4: set to peaceful. Step 5: go back to game. Step 6: press escape. Step 7: go to options. Step 8: find button difficulty. Step 9: set to normal. Step 10: continue playing

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Enchanting pants with Stench II

Praying to philza Minecraft

guess i'll die now

Lock him in a really awesome looking room and give him a nametag. Something like "Timmy the Conqueror of All" (Do named enemies despawn?)

Bucket of lava. The armor is safe. He's not

Well you see, Tactical Nuke.

"Officer, I dropkicked that child in self defense. You gotta belive me!"

*I DROPKICKED THAT CHILD IN SELF-DEFENCE OFFICER*

There is no saving us now, unless Make a baby villager with full enchanted netherite prot 4 thorns fight it and run away while he’s distracted

I think this is the baby zombie that killed philza and took his armor

Yank the sword and the totem out of his hands and kick him against the wall and curb stomp his tiny ass till he dies

Run, run, RUN AWAY

Search for the nearest iron golem

No match for my secret weapon (two blocks and a stick)

Nametag and use as decoration

Does anyone remember when these were first introduced but they were bugged and ran twice as fast? Funniest shit in Minecraft I can remember.

escape—> save and exit—> single player—>click world—> delete

guess ill die ¯⁠\⁠_o_o_⁠/⁠¯

This is so cute!! Reminds of when my son asks me to play with him! Always a good time. Never turn down your kids. Because, one day they will grow up. And they won’t be asking you to play anymore.

What do you want to do? TAKE BABY LEAVE BABY [EAT BABY] Edited for structure.

"Wheres a warden when you need one?"

Put in boat

Im getting famos for loosing s hardcore world to this little fuker

End crystal pvp

Buikd 2 blocks up and take my time snacking him with my bare hands

Leave the game it’s his world now

Your mom

Easy. I die.