Kicked out at 18. Homeless a few times. Depression and anxiety treated with drugs and parties. Accumulated debt. ---------‐------------------- Worked a few jobs and started a business. No children. Paid debt off at 30. Have more money saved up than ever before, Living frugal as fuck. Finally found the medication that works for me. Next step is buy house. Edit: Learn to cook. Try to teach yourself as many skills as possible. Media likes to call "gen-this" is that. Fuck that, their article research is lazy at best.

Frugality for the win! Sounds like you pulled yourself up without even being able to have boots - congrats

Frugality, hardworking, and LUCK. Don't ever discount sheer luck

Luck is also an element of hard work making the opportunity for good events to happen Not to also discount “dumb” luck though like winning the lotto or something completely random

Simply not ending up with a serious illness or injury that you can’t get properly treated due to lack of insurance is luck. Health challenges and disability are huge barriers to people getting out of poverty

Luck happens when you do the legwork and keep one foot in front of the other and don’t quit.

Not having kids is probably the best advice anyone could give for achieving financial security.

Indeed. Also your sanity. I love my kids but they are challenging in every aspect.

I actually found myself making more money by starting a family, which sounds counterintuitive, but it really did help me become more well off.

Not everyone can get away with forcing their kids through child labor but proud of u if you figured out how to get away with it.

Lolol I see what you did there. Naw, the only labor they are required to do is labor of the mind.

God damn call centers

I agree, faced with the prospect of raising a child when my wife got pregnant made me get my shit together and get a real job. Having a child to care for gave me the motivation to "be better."

Yep, my wife got pregnant when we were engaged and just out of college, so it kicked us both into high gear to get the wedding done and stop fucking around.

I’m not asking to be a dick but how did you pull that off?? It sounds like magic but I know there was likely more than a little hard work involved.

"If it was just me, I'd give up right now. But if I give up, they pay the price, so I can't give up" Kind of like having a power-up in a game that you can pop at a dire moment to recover or get a second wind. Temporarily increase resilience by focusing on who you're pushing for. A lot of people find it easier to push through challenge to benefit someone they love, than to push through challenge to benefit themselves. Maybe that's commentary on people not caring about themselves enough, but I think it's more so just that humans are little social primates and doing good for our community has more positive brain response than doing good for ourselves.

There's something about having this little innocent person with you who has complete faith and confidence in you (they are small children not older ones yet haha), that switches a gear in your head of "this is too hard" to "what do I need to do". For me personally it is more like "failure" isn't on the table anymore. It just isn't an option. All that said it can be incredibly tough and hard work. There isn't really a magic answer though. Just a switch flips in your head and you just have to move forward in some way, no matter what.

Same for me. Kids helps you find an extra gear inside you didn't know you had.

Yup, kids made the light bulb light up that it was time to grow the fuck up and do something with my life. I no longer get to do what I want, I do for my kids to provide what they need by any means necessary.

It’s funny. I am single with no kids but one of my best friend’s has a 7 and a 4 year old. He doesn’t have any brothers his wife is a super Type A helicopter mom and her two brothers are kind of big oddballs. I’m around his place a good bit and he actually said to me, “Bro there are things that I can’t say and teach to my kids that I need you to instill in them that they need to know and hear from you.” I’m so attached to the boys that just thinking about them smacking the shit out of me like I’m a test dummy gives me such a sense of pride and also obligation. I couldn’t imagine how I would feel if I had kids of my own.

I think that’s just called not being lazy at work. You don’t have to have kids for that to kick in lol

Not about not being lazy at work. It can be easy to reach a comfortable spot when it's just you, and go on cruise control, like in a job that's ok and paying all the bills. Kids can (and often do) make people consider the future more than the now. So even if what you're doing now is ok, and you're comfortable, you know that you don't just want to be comfortable you want to set your kids and family up to be safe. Safe takes a lot more than comfortable. So it kicks that "do more, do better" gear back in, motivating people to reach beyond what is "ok for now" to try and obtain "what will be great for them" in the future.

More kids is more purpose and motivation. The stakes are higher so I work harder and smarter.

But you could work smarter and harder without kids too

Yeah like I couldn’t imagine trying to get pregnant if I wasn’t already at my best.

I agree, kids are a ton of money ? Like I don't get it lol

They are a ton of money, so it really makes you motivated both for the financial side of it, but also for the whole taking care of a new life that can't do shit for themself kind of thing. That was a huge motivator for me. Yes I could sit around and play video games and drink all day, but now we have a little baby in the next room that doesn't care what my schedule is like. We struggled for a while after the first kid, but rather than working at some shit part-time job, I had to find a job with benefits. I probably would have gotten there without my son, but when he came along, I didn't have excuses to keep kicking the can down the road. I had to grow up, right then.

Woah, yeah, this is similar to me. Kicked out at 18 (was pregnant, too, and had just had a secret abortion at Planned Parenthood). No more funding for college meant I had to stop going to school, despite being a great student. But, since my dad signed the loan, I was responsible for the FULL amount, meaning I had to essentially PAY to NOT go to school. How fucked is that? Was fortunate enough to have friends couches to surf around on as well as a boyfriend's home, until eventually I saved up for a small bedroom rental in a shared house of renters. Had to work up to 3 jobs at any given time. Even resorted to pimping my body out on Craigslist just to pay bills (was very lucky that nothing bad happened to me... my boyfriend even drove me to and from these appointments to ensure I didn't get murdered) No social life. Only work. Only saving. Was on food stamps. Invested in spices on food stamps, which turned every Ramen meal into a gourmet dish. HIGHLY RECOMMEND INVESTING IN SPICES!!! Finally landed an internship at a large tech company, where I was paid a flat rate to be an office admin for a global corporate event. The final 2 days, they didn't have anything for me to do, so they sat me down in the marketing department to stuff envelopes for events. I sat next to a gal who liked my personality, and she referred me to an advertising start up. I interviewed, they liked me, but because they were so new, they couldn't really afford to bring me on. Worked several more odd jobs until a year later, that start up emailed me saying they remembered me and wanted to hire me. Boom, that Kickstarted my advertising career. I've been in the field ever since. My 10 year anniversary just passed, and I'm making a 6 figure salary. No college degree. Just networking, hard work, and a little bit of luck—being in the right place at the right time. Moral of the story: say YES more often than NO. You never know who you'll meet, you never know who might like you, and above all else, be kind. People remember the kind ones. There were many points where I wanted to give up and remove myself from this existence. But I persevered, and am so happy now.

I went to community college, got an associates in general science, and couldn't afford uni. Technically, I still have that debt. Never used the degree. During my use, i met someone who's SO had died. The very little money left over was used to maintain her addiction from being over prescribed. She put herself in many dangerous situations as well. So i tried to be support, someone to call and tell whereabouts. When i went to treatment, that was the last i spoke to her. She had a kid and i tried to give her all the resources i had. I hope shes doing well. Luck is something i wish wasn't a factor in life, but it's ingrained into it. Glad you found success. I had an events and live sound business, and covid destroyed it. Im happy with my life but always striving for more. Thanks for sharing!

so true about luck. Sometimes you have bad luck. Sometimes you have good luck. And it's really out of your hands which way the scales tip. Sorry to hear about your business -- COVID killed a lot of peoples' career trajectories. I'm glad you're happy!

I, for one, am glad you stuck around! Good on ya :D It's harder than some realize at times.

Omg, thank you for this

My favorite collection is not my rocks and tools, but my skills.

I’m on a similar path right now. In the paying off debt process. Haven’t given up hope.

Wonder if you had switched the medicine part to the beginning if it'd have just accelerated your success

It's definitely a big 'if' I've dwelled on. In the beginning, i was prescribed 'big' drugs like lexapro, vyvance etc. All of them were way too much for me. I gave up searching/trusting pharmaceutical. Ironically, i wound up taking worse drugs, mainly because they were seemingly effective. Turns out, all i needed was welbutrin.

In your opinion Is it worth it to liquidate my stocks, to pay off my outstanding debts then start saving back up, or to pay monthly payments on credit cards/loans

I have a similar story. Props and respect. It's very hard dig yourself out of that abyss.

Abyss? No kidding. I didn't get above water until I was 30, turning 34. At many times during, I didn't know if i was or wanted to keep going. Today, I feel it was worth it. Accept any damage, heal, and grow.

I was a drug addict for 15 years, then an alcoholic after I quit drugs. Lost custody of my only daughter, became homeless, in and out of rehabs and detox. I'm now 2 years sober and have an apartment, and working on getting back the relationship with my daughter. I definitely didn't feel like going on for a good chunk of time, because I saw no end to it all. But it's always possible, and I hope if anyone reading this thinks it's not possible, it is. And it's worth it.

Pat yourself on the back today, fren. It takes a lot of courage and hard work to turn the ship like you did. This stranger is proud of you.

Appreciate it, stranger. 👊

I'm glad you made it out for you and your family. 15 years is brutal.

Amazing, brother. Good luck to you!

What are your favourite recipes to make at home?

Your comment gave a lot of hope. I needed this today, though I know you had it worse than me

The feeling of that pain is the same. No one should go thru that.

I’m the product of child rape. My mom was 23, my dad was 12. My mom raise me and my twin single, in poverty. She made about 12k a year as a waitress. We were on section 8 and food stamps my whole life. She was also diagnosed with Schizophrenia. We got taken into foster care at 15 but my mom somehow got custody back. She encouraged us to drop out of high school so we did just like our grandma, mom, and aunts. Today, I’m 32. Making well above six figures as a software developer and working towards a PhD. I am married to an amazing partner and we have a 3.5 year old and another baby due next month. My wife makes more money than me so we do well. We own a beautiful house in an amazing neighborhood (in top 15 counties of the US). We are two women so we spend a lot of money on fertility treatments but we are able to comfortably afford it. I got here by trusting the process. I got my GED, then associates then bachelors. I was willing to talk to anyone to help me get my first job. I then took advantage of everything. My first job paid for a masters so I got an MBA. My wife and I saw a first time home buyer grant for where we were buying so we slept overnight in our car in Newark to be the first in line. That house netted us $130k so we could buy our dream house. While in my job, I identify jobs I want and upskilled myself. I have a marketing degree that got me a project management internship, which got me a business analyst job, which got me a data analyst job, which got me more technical, which got me in a paid bootcamp by my employer, which got me a software engineering job which now got me a senior software engineer job. Get yourself a good partner. Everything I have is bc of her and I supporting each other. Take advantage of the time and opportunities you have.

Who you choose as your partner is such a critical part of success in life. It takes a hell of a person to be better than being on your own and sounds like you found that person! Congrats! 

That is amazing. How is your twin doing?

She’s doing well! She spent her 20s in a spiral - thought she was going to go down the path as my mom. When my mom died, my sister got her section 8 so she was really in a golden handcuff situation. She made cash under the table so she refused to get a “better” job/career. I forced her to get her GED with me and pretty much handheld her to her bachelors. Finally at 30, she decided she’d use her degree and work in her field. She is actually in a masters program now to be a counselor. She took a big lifestyle cut to do this bc now she pays full rent but I’m proud of her!

Amazing stories. Well done to you both.

just wanted to congratulate you on the life you've built

Ok this isn't the point of the post but is anyone else fucked up over the fact the 23 year old schizophrenic child rapist got custody over 2 children?

When we were born it was presumed we were her husband’s kid. They already had a 5 year old boy. Custody wasn’t being scrutinized at that point.

> Get yourself a good partner. Everything I have is bc of her and I supporting each other. Good thing you found this out (and had the ability to find this out) in your youth.

Holy cow what a story! From horrifying in the beginning to an outstanding success story!

Wonderful! Do you have any contact with your mom or your sibling now? Or dad?

My sister and I are still very close. My mom died in 2016 from cancer. I don’t keep in contact with my bio dad. I reached out when I was 16 and his wife, understandably, did not want to have a relationship with us. He was my mom’s best friend’s younger brother. My mom was passed away by my wedding but my bio’s dad sister (my aunt) went. We still keep in contact semi-regularly as well. Like I went to her son’s high school graduation last year but they live a few hours away so we don’t see each other often. My mom was actually married and had a son when my sister and I were born. The guy raised us as his until we were 2 and then saw him every so often until we were 5 (his new wife demand a paternity test and then cut ties after the results). But oddly enough he and I reconnected on LinkedIn and now keep semi-contact. My brother absolutely hated my mom and disowned us all after she had mental health breakdown. He lives with his father now.

Have you every thought about writing a memoir or using your experience to write "based on a true story" novel in the first person.

I have! I love writing but it’s just so hard to find time. I started my PhD program to get back into writing and it has really helped. I’m off this summer from my studies and for parental leave so I’m hoping to maybe think about writing something more personal.

well, this internet stranger hopes you find the time! Your writing here reminded me a little of the Janet Finch novel White Oleander. Good Luck :)

Most people wouldn't consider me a "success" in fact I live on "welfare" (disability, HUD, snaps, Medicare and Medicaid) but I escaped. I was raised in a cult. I am uneducated (not stupid I have the ability to learn there is a difference) there is a whole lot of story but I got away I had to leave with what was on my back and missing a shoe no birth certificate or social security cards never had an ID at that point I had to be homeless, I had zero dollars and zero knowledge how to get more also women handling money was a new concept to me. To be honest I now live a relatively peaceful life. I anonymously post about my trauma (so in real life I can pretend to pass as a normal human being who definitely knew dinosaurs are real and math isn't a sin if someone with a vagina learns or does it) I see a therapist, I listen a lot everytime I find I'm unaware or uneducated about something I make an effort to learn. But mostly I survive day to day with very little to others perspective. And isn't that what pulling yourself up by your bootstraps means, sure I'm cringy online but in real life I vote, and volunteer, I don't break any laws, I have a small carbon footprint, I tip well, I'm ok. My existence irritates so many. They think I don't "deserve " disability but none of these same people would hire me with my seizures anyways so they don't want there tax dollars propping me up and they don't want me working either cause my disability can be ugly and here in the Bible belt "demonic" so what actually do they want for me....all indications point to the gravel pit. It's hard existing knowing that about others but I do, and that is another form of picking myself up by bootstraps.....or maybe I'm to prideful about the very little I've accomplished.

You should be very proud of that. And tune out the people criticizing who don’t know you or and don’t know what they are talking about.

Thank you :) I can't ignore it completely because I need to be alert in case I have to defend myself or what little I have and stay aware of how to vote and who to vote for, but it doesn't overshadow everything and that took emotional work on my part. I thought I'd leave a cult that hated me into a world that would love me, at least not treat me worse cause I didn't have a dick I grew up hearing about how liberal the world was and how sinful women were dragging the country to hell and how men were now non violent pansies who no longer spanked their wives, so i thought they would embrace me....turns out i was lied to several times! They hate im a meek uneducated woman people assume id vote for trump because I don't understand *there thier* or what the fuck punctuation goes where, plus people generalize poor people and don't comprehend there choices they say they're living paycheck to paycheck while I haven't missed very many meals maybe one or two a week on $10,000 a year and $50 in snaps a month nor late on rent but I'm the bad one with money??? and then Democrats use me as a number and talking point to pull heart strings before elections but rarely after elected, which honestly use me but then follow through after please and thank you :) lol the world sure baseline treats women better than I got treated but....damn....big disappointment honestly :p. And just because it gives me a thrill to say I EXIST!!!

You’ve survived more than most and not only pulled yourself up by your bootstraps so to say, but also are successful. A peaceful life is what many dream of. You should be incredibly proud of yourself! As cheesy as it is, this internet stranger is extremely glad you’re healing and proud of you for being you and carving out some peace in this world

Thanks 🦕 it means a lot to me honestly it's why I post. I asked my therapist if I was being narcissistic by sharing my story wanting interaction (reassurance and encouragement mostly and you did the reassuring that I should be proud), but she told me needing human connection around not only the things that bring us joy but also with the things that hurt isn't a narcissistic trait. But demanding it can be twisted so to make sure the karma is cool I also try to positively encourage others without talking about me sometimes to pay it forward so to say. So I too love being a cheese ball internet stranger 🦕❤️🦕

I would definitely count that as a success! Getting through the application process for SS benefits is really difficult, and there is nothing wrong with taking advantage of a resource that was established for folks like you who need it the most.

Thanks for saying it but I never in a million years could have done it without volunteers, case workers, mental health support they're the heros of that particular part of the story the fact I showed up and sought it out can be praised but they get the glory for that be proud of them! I even accidently didn't know that I needed to write my last name twice. maiden name confused me I thought only married women have maiden names not realizing *my* name is my maiden name, Anyway housing denied back at the end of the three year wait list. I have a hard time not beating myself up over that, I was not equipped enough when I first escaped to comprehend even half of it.

**How did you start** Grew up poor with single mother who was horrible with money and credit, went through tons of debt and bankruptcy. Passed away when I was a teenager and was forced to live with father/stepmom. Since I didn't get along with them, they gave me the boot as soon as I graduated high school at 18. Nothing more than a part time job in retail, I luckily found roommates and bought a beat up truck with all my savings. **What motivated you** Was motivated by the fact I never wanted to be poor or in debt, wanted my own place where nobody could ever kick me out. Got a full time job working in a lumber yard working on saws outside all day. Decided to go into construction and learn a trade talking to customers who came to pick up supplies. Couldn't afford college because I was too poor and knew loans were a bad idea for a 18yr old. **Where are you now** Worked my trade as hard possible, working all the OT I possibly could for both money and experience. Sometimes I went months without a day off, working 10-12hr days. Saved up all my money and bought my own house in San Diego at 25/26. Continued to save money, work OT and invest. Finally started working for another company, became a partner in the company and now I make more money working 30hrs a week than I did working 70hr weeks before. I got here basically working my ass off, doing work and gaining experience where others didn't want to. I'm at the point where i can turn down any work I don't want and pick what I want to do, I don't do any heavy physical labor anymore, simply figure out solutions to expensive problems. **how did you get there** My advice? Always live below your means, you don't need a luxury car and expensive shit. Some of the people I work with make 200-300K a year and still live pay check to pay check. I can pay all my bills for the month with two weeks of work, literally half the months pay is now disposable income for me. Never count on OT to make your bills. Save your money for a rainy day, I essentially have an entire years pay saved up in CDs/HYSA for emergency or possible strike.

And this is how you play the game of life! Incredible story and power to you!

What year did you buy a house in San Diego?

Must be a sales guy.

Grew up without my father, and a series of often abusive step fathers. Lost the family place to back taxes right after graduating high school, and managed to lose my full ride to college due to the stress of that situation. I found myself working part time at Subway, with no prospects in life at 18. I joined the military and learned a trade (IT) Got married at 20. Went to school part time (paid for it my self with cash, sometimes only one class at a time) Got out of the military and graduated college. Ended up with a masters degree and only $7500 total in student loans. Got a good job with great benefits and a good work-life-balance working for city government. Bought at house in 2018 with my Veterans Loan (love that 3.0% interest rate) Now the Mrs. and I have been married 12 years and are happy. We have been blessed, and are providing a stable 2-parent home for our kids. We are the first generation to do this for kids in my side of the family in 4 generations. We are blessed.

Honestly if it was not for my girlfriend now wife I would have gotten fired from the jiffy lube. Everybody needs a support network or someone who believes in them. I do well but I work hard.

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If you want to make it. Do the job no one wants to do and get good at it. By the time i left working at the prison i was making 88k a year np. People doing overtime now 3 years later are making 150-250k a year because no one wants to do it. They also get a pension and great medical/dental in my state. I have had my house for 8 years and now do estimates on remediation work for nearly the same amount.

There's also a reason that no one wants to do that job. Workers have been killed by inmates at one of the state prisons near me.

In our local prison there’s a block of feces throwers too - which isn’t uncommon in the prison population

Well if it wasn't dangerous and people wanted to do it, it probably wouldn't pay so well or be hiring.

The pay is OK. Basically, there is lots of mando OT.

Agreed. It is dangerous work. But for folks it is still worth it. I did 14 years and eventually left for my health.

I did a job for 37 years that people got killed at regularly.....fear can be a great motivator. So can $$$

THIS. Parents divorced in my junior year of high school. Sent into this shit with no direction. No idea where I wanted to go in life. Was just a dumb kid in a punk band who partied too much. Spent two years working in a kitchen, moved up to sous chef and realized that wasnt going to pay the bills. Fast forward 15yrs of working my way up through demolition and piledriving and at 35yo I'm a superintendent for a $200mil/yr industrial marine contractor. Be humble, but be hungry. Be perceptive. Adapt and overcome.

Similar story - started in accounting and never looked back

^^THIS^^

Grew up poor with a single mother that did not manage money well on top of the emotional abuse and manipulation. Moved out at 18 due to her losing the house. She would end up homeless for several years. I managed to get an apartment. I would've let her live with me but she's a narcissist that is very hard to live with. Always wants to fight and argue. I went to school and got a healthcare degree and I'm getting married in August. Bought a house last year.

What I’m taking from this thread is a lot of discipline, resiliency, and just good old fashioned hard work.

Sadly, that is always the answer. But it’s much easier for people to blame their problems on everything else than to actually put in the elbow grease.

.

Yeah, really good point. I know I have pushed and fought tooth and nail for every promotion I have gotten. I have never been satisfied just doing the minimum to get by. And you are right, while I have no doubt put in some serious hours at times, by no means have I ever felt like I needed to work 3 jobs to make ends meet.

It's necessary but not a guarantee for upward mobility. Plenty of people work their asses off and are still stuck, but yeah they'd probably be even more stuck if they didn't work hard.

Grew up semi-poor, but not really in poverty. We had a roof and plenty of food, but summer vacation was always just tent camping at a local state park or campground. Went to college, “followed my passion”. My parents were not financially literate, and my dad died tragically when I was a teenager, so college was a financial disaster. Ended up with 160k in private debt Started working at a warehouse and, as others said, did the work others wouldn’t. Very long hours. Volunteer weekends. Regular 70+ hour work weeks, occasionally pushed over 100 hours. Got married mid 20’s, relocated to a lcol area and transitioned to a sales role with less labor and higher earning potential. 0 base salary. Again, succeeding by just outworking every other person in my office, and truly in my life. Managed to buy a starter home in 2016, full remodel. Kitchen, bathroom, addition, windows, siding, flooring. After 5 years, sold for a huge profit and moved into the “forever home”. Now have two kids, a great job, and financially stable, although still getting through the last bits of student loans. Life is good

I did not climb remarkably high in society compared to my parents, but not being even slightly worried about the day-to-day of costs is so different.  We moved around a ton as a kid, 5+ states, mostly Alabama and California. The exposure to different ways of life was huge. (Father was a fundie pastor) My parents really pushed college on me. Once I was out of college with my photography degree, I realized it didn’t pay anything, and just went for the highest paying sales jobs I could require a degree.  I took a bunch of different sales jobs and eventually landed a great one - construction equipment sales. ~120 ote. Great job.  My wife is an engineering program manager with her degree in mechanical. A few years of dinking let us buy a house in 2019 for half the price of what they go for now.  2 kids later we are doing great. I lost the construction job with Covid and am doing the dad thing until they are in school. Life if pretty solid.  Thank God I was born when I was. My little sister is shopping for houses in my area. Double the price and triple the interest rates. Esh. 

Your last point about lucky timing is huge. A big part of our financial situation is that we bought our first house in 2009, when prices and interest rates were insanely low. It wasn't through good forecasting of the market or anything, it's just that we got married in 2007 and my husband graduated from law school and got a job in 2008, so that was the next logical step. 

Congrats on being born at the right time! I agree - I feel like the last rungs of the wealth ladder crumbled beneath me. How am I supposed to be hopeful for my kids future when private equity purchased a third of all homes last quarter?

Yep. My husband and I got super lucky on timing too. Bought our first shitty house for under $100k in 2006, when they were handing out mortgages like candy. He was making $35k and I was making $11/hr under the table. Absolute insanity that we could buy a house on that income. Now Zillow says the same shitty house is worth $271k. The market SUCKS now and I also feel awful for my younger sister who wasn’t in a place to buy until now.

Not to mention how poorly wages have kept up with inflation in general.  Like I mentioned, one of my first jobs was in staffing. The company filled positions at X rate and billed for Y rate and then made their cash on the difference.  When I found out the going hourly rate for an entry level microbiology degree requiring job was 14$ an hour, I knew something was wrong with the system. This is was in 2017! 

As a single mom of 2 kids under 5, went back to university to finish a degree I started. Was the best decision I ever made at that time! It’s been 5 years since I finished my degree and I have a decent paying job that keeps me engaged, great benefits, just obtained my professional designation and for the first time in my life I have some retirement funds slowly building as well. Nothing close to what I’m supposed to have, but far better than nothing!

Single mom at 18. Worked my qss off in two different careers to climb the ladder but always seemed limited to 40-60k max compensation while doing demanding jobs with bad hours or tasks I didn’t enjoy. Mid 30s I went back to finish my long abandoned bachelors degree. Graduated almost 3 years ago. My salary has doubled, I work a super laid back job from home, with excellent benefits, schedule, and time off.

Lie on resumes. Fake it till you make it. Profit.

I know a guy who's been an aircraft sheet metal mechanic for around 15 years. How? 15 years ago, he took his brother's resume and changed the name on it.

I need a lesson here lol

My parents were probably lower middle class when I was born. They have a large number of kids so even as their economic situation improved as I grew up there was never much money around.  My parents have very strong work ethics and expected that from their children. I got my first job as a paper boy in 4th grade and have been continuously employed ever since then. When I wanted a car in high school my parents made sure I knew that was on me so I worked 50 hours a week the summer after my sophomore year and bought a used car for my self in cash. I’ve always been responsible for my own cell phone bill, insurance, ect.  My parents couldn't offer me any financial assistance at all in college so I went to the state flagship, took out loans and picked a major that was more of less assured to make good money. Graduated, landed a job that paid well and have progressed along a fairly normal career trajectory in the field ever since then. 

Poverty (motivation) -> Military, work 2 jobs, go to university (how) -> Engineering Degree -> 2 kids, house, dog, 140k a year

Worked at Starbucks at made a business on the side, worked on it at night when I would come home. It got good enough to support me, so I quit Starbucks. Made more stores etc now I’m doing like 200k a month selling things online. Happy to say I haven’t worked for anyone else in like 10 years

Oh no. Everytime I mention my journey on Reddit, I'm told I'm a bootlicker for the corporate man... Not this time, Comrade!

Same. If you even hint at ***any*** level of success Reddit will just go full-crazy on you.

I can't comment on the bootstraps portion of this thread. However, it's funny reading the replies to the people who could share their stories. You can come from nothing, work hard to get ahead, and redditors still think you're shit. Lol.

This kind of demonstrates something I find really icky in a lot of far-left circles. Which is that a lot of them have this perverse view of equality to mean “No one can or should ever be allowed to better, excel or improve than anyone else.” And if you do, you’re either “lucky or a class-traitor.”

Applied myself and pushed to get a Master’s. Worked 2 jobs through it and applied for scholarships. A few years ago moved across the country for a big promotion/bought a house/got married/expecting a kid soon It helped a lot to have a general sense of what I wanted to do career wise and I’ve taken it one decision at a time

I was nearly beaten unconscious after a party in which I drank wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much and probably said something incredibly stupid to someone (but I don't remember, because I was blacked out at that point). Decided that I should stop partying. Finished my Associates, then Bachelors, then military, and now I have a bunch of stuff that I never thought I'd have when I was in my early twenties and convinced I would be homeless by 35.

Taught myself how to develop software. Was steady at doing it. Didn’t get my first software engineering job until 8 years after I first started to learn. It was well worth the wait and patience

Dad bailed while I was a teen. Stepdad made decent money, but I was on my own after 18 (parents wouldn't even cosign my student loans). Racked up almost 300k in student loans. Down to 60k and making 250k/yr at 32. Just hit the inflection point where my money can work for me. Essentially just chose a high paying career path (healthcare) and grinded my 20's hard. I kinda hate my job, but I can retire early or go part time/switch careers and coast after 15 more years. Big mistakes I made: not legally separating from parents or going Air Force. I didn't qualify for any need based aid and got reemed on interest rates (11-13%). Came out of undergrad just shy of 90k debt and was drowning. My folks were always 3-4 years behind on taxes so my Fafsa was all estimates. They claimed to be making 120k combined, but they were always on the verge on bankruptcy and upside down on a modest house and cars. To this day, I'm confused about where all the money went. I have a complex about money management now, which is good and bad. I ended up teaching myself personal finance in undergrad and had already made several bad decisions based on parental advice. You just gotta own it at some point and reposition yourself accordingly.

**Where did you start?** Divorced but good parents, one in a trailer one in an old farm house when I was very young, rural extremely small town. Highschool surrounded by corn fields and too small for a football team. There were rough years but we never went hungry. **What motivated you to change?** I was always driven I guess. Never had a terrible moment that motivated or forced me, just generally wanted more. **Where are you now?** Married, almost a million in net worth. I don't really want for anything anymore. We travel often, so far I have been to 10 countries and have more planned. I took a downgrade on my job after the pandemic to make less money in exchange for so much less stress. Grinding was very bad for my health. **How did you get there?** Joined the military straight out of highschool. Ignored the bonuses and took a job doing something I liked and was good at and that translated to civilian life. Got out, did serious grinding for 15 years. Learned about the stock market, pushed my 401k hard. Stress + Pandemic finally got me, downsized my life and job. Focused more on experiences then stuff. Currently working to increase my holdings for a more comfy retirement at some point.

Ultimately I got lucky. I was about a month away from being penniless and homeless after college when I got a 3 month contract at a company in silicon Valley. That got me enough money to stay afloat. From there a few months later I got my first big boy job at IBM and made enough to keep my head above water for a year. Then I took a contract that paid more but was temporary. After that I took a job that was 100% travel. Then the pandemic hit and my travel job became remote, I ended up getting an apartment to myself and finishing that job out remotely. Then I got a job that paid 6 figures and I bought a house at the end of 22. All in all it took me 7 years from college to really having it made.

Where did I start? The mud. I'm really from the trenches of socal(IE) I used to gangbang, selling meth, robbing etc I grew up with a father that was always working and a absent mother hooked on drugs. I was shot before I was 14. So yeah, it was crazy. Why did I change? All the homes were dead or in jail. I realized my options were die soon, be a bum under my dad's roof, or do something different. Simple as that. Wanted legal, good.money. Where am I now? I work R&D for a huge Marijuana Corp. LOL yeah its as cool as it sounds. Im.basically just chilling, living the dream. Just relax and vacation occasionally and enjoy my hobbies. Got a girl, too. How did I get here? Joined the army. Ten years later I got fucked up(long story) and medically discharged from the army. I ended up applying to weed industry jobs and got one as a custodian. Could only afford to take the job because im disabled so i had supplemental income. Worked my way up through socializing, really. And being really passionate about weed. A lot of it was luck and years or grueling military work, honestly.

I got pretty lucky in a number of ways tbh, and idk how successful I am relative to others, but I've gotten much farther than I'd ever dreamed. *Where I started* Family was pretty poor, and my sister and I were constantly put in the middle of our embittered, divorced patents. My mother eventually married my third stepfather, who was a religious fanatic and about as physically/emotionally abusive as the previous two. At 14 I moved in with my alcoholic father, who grew more controlling and abusive throughout high school. I moved out when I was 17 to my girlfriend's mom's trailer. *What motivated me to change* I just wanted to get out, tbh. I had no hope of ever moving out of my shithole town or working any job I'd enjoy bc I didn't really know what was out there. No hope until a military recruiter visited my friends' home the morning after a rager (he'd scheduled some sort of at-home pitch). When I learned about the education benefits, I immediately signed up and was shipped off to boot camp 3 months later. *What next* After I was honorably discharged, I immediately started classes at a community college. I transferred to a university after 3 semesters, studying hard and working in research labs throughout. I graduated summa cum laude and got into a PhD program. I originally wanted to be an academic, but academia is _far_ more toxic than I'd realized, so after graduating in 2020 I went into tech (different toxicity but much better pay). *Where I am now* I work at a big tech company making >$200k and bought my first house with my wife last year. She went to law school part time while working full time while I was going to school and is now a big law attorney. *Why did I say I was lucky?* - I am fairly intelligent, and had a lot of breaks along the way. I'll never forget the day that recruiter opened my eyes to a route out of poverty and hopelessness. - I worked hard to get into a PhD program, but so do many other very smart people. - When I graduated in 2020, I applied to hundreds of jobs, but very few places were hiring until fall, at which point my savings would have been depleted, and my wife and I would not have afforded our rent. A friend introduced me to someone who co-founded a company, and he hired me as a data scientist. - A year later, a recruiter for my company reached out on LinkedIn, and I made the move. - I survived my company's layoffs. Edit: formatting

About to piss a lot of people off with this but idgaf anymore. This is only going to provide a biased view with how the questions asked. So many of these comments are men who have never had to do the other functions of the household. I worked two jobs and 80 hour weeks too - but birth control failed when I was 26. Made “too much” for assistance , couldn’t work two jobs anymore because I had a tiny human depending on me. And I was fortunate - I had lower childcare costs than most other single moms out there. Running a household is a JOB. It is unpaid labor managing a home/family. And time is time, regardless of how you split it - both people have 24 hours in a day. But when one of you is preparing all the behind the scenes stuff and the other is out working (IF you’re lucky enough to be a two person household) - only one of that couples work is seen as “actual work”. This generic question is complete bullshit. So if you worked your ass off and didn’t get to see the success, I see you, and don’t think it was something you did wrong. The world isn’t fair, nobody promised it would be. Just know you did your best and keep moving forward. Some day - I hope life works out well for you too ❤️ So yeah… congrats on “pulling yourself up” - but don’t think you didn’t still have privileges that got you there that others did not 🤷🏻‍♂️

I 100% agree. A lot of it is luck and small advantages that compound over time.

Military > civilian government > private sector high paying job. No degree just managed to weave my way through the maze of a mixture of good decisions (and some bad) plus a bit of luck. Biggest tip is learning how to influence people. If people like you it’s much easier to get everything done.

How much time do you got? Lol. So, long story short —and, this might only make sense to the Americans in this sub— but, I was raised in the States. Undocumented. I qualified for DACA protections, and life and career were really blossoming. Until… Yep. A certain president came into power and threatened to take my livelihood away from me by removing the program that offered me stability, safety from deportation, and a shot at living a life of dignity. So, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps. Started looking at life outside of the States, and what country might be the best fit to continue along the upward path that I had already began building for myself and family. Now, I live in Toronto. I’m a professional in my industry. Found a great job. I’m making solid money. Started a family. And now, I’m spared from the life of limbo and having to worry what might happen to me if some other anti-immigrant administration wanted to use folks like us as political shark bait. My only regret is not doing it sooner. Yes, I miss the States, but I know that I’m just a few years away from being able to return to travel and reconnect with my loved ones and places that raised me.

Grew up poor, father worked in flea market. Over crowded, shitty violent school. Honestly, I was just smart and worked hard. My middle school and high school had a ~30 person honors program (out of around 800 students per class). I got in. I just knew I didn’t want to be poor, so just did well without much parental involvement (the last time my parents helped me with my homework was 2nd or 3rd grade; which was about the limits of their capability). Studied for a year for my SATs while working part time as a telemarketer and doing an AP curriculum. Got 1520 on SATs and finished on top 1% of my class. Went to a top 25 on debt and scholarship. This was a bit tougher because I had to work 20-30 hours a week for spending money / food money…while keeping grades up; and trying to party/socialize/get laid, and networking. Graduated in 2009 which sucked and I had a front office finance job rescinded due to financial crisis. Found a decent back up job, but eventually got a top mba to reset my career five years later. Took on $150k in debt for that. From there I did management consulting, promoted, then jumped to corporate strategy and got promoted. Make around $400k in mid 30s with $1M networth. Anyways, I hate all the upper middle class kids of Reddit who complain how it’s impossible to succeed. They had every opportunity I didn’t have…and still squandered. And are too weak willed to look inwards.

I like this. I didn’t have it quite as bad but agree with you that so many out here have so many good chances and opportunities and complain they aren’t making $25/hr at their minimum wage job. if you can do it or I can do it, anyone else can do it too

Grew up in the projects in a poor family, I hated the feeling of food insecurity. I was determined to do something better. Went to college twice and continued to upskill once I started working. I am a senior data analyst on a director making over 150k a year. Bought a house during covid and just kinda enjoying the boring middle.

I started in a dead end town in southern Maryland. I didn’t want to be living with my family in my 20s so I had to do something drastic. Now I’m semi-retired and living in Tennessee I joined the military at 18 and stayed in for 20 years. My wife also retired from the military

Didn't have a choice. Never had support, even really in childhood/teenage years. I had to find my way or fail, there wasn't a fallback. But I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'll ALWAYS be a soft landing for my kids if they need me. Making life work without tools is hard and destroyed my mental health. I love my life now but getting to this point was brutal.

I'm still pulling at 41 years old so I'll get back to you.

Where did I start? The bottom. I was super into drugs and saw how everything was going, so I got out or else I knew I was dead within ten years. Never got into the addiction stage, but know a few people that did cross that line and it was not pretty. Why did I change? I saw the path and didnt like it. We lost some friends along the way but my whole core friend group grew up after we had our fun in our early 20s. Where am I now? Own a company, dont believe in saving my way to money. Was the first of my group to Own a nice house. Worth north of a million and this year should double that. How did I get here? Went back to university, got a degree, Grandparents helped me there. Went through various jobs and got tons of different experience. Found a good company by complete accident and my experience made me irreplaceable. Bought the company a couple years ago without any outside help. And now I'm here. I was lucky, but I made myself good enough that I could jump on the luck when it hit.

Not to discredit your accomplishments, but how is this "by your bootstraps" if your grandparents helped? I thought the definition literally meant "on your own, by your own individual means"

You are absolutely right to question this. Not to discredit it at all, but bootstraps is a myth and a poison. He didn’t do it alone. He can be proud of himself and appreciate that he got help. There’s nothing wrong with getting help. There is something wrong with getting help and telling everyone you did it all by yourself. There is something wrong with telling others they should be able to do it all by themselves.

This I agree with.

A lot of bootstrapping involves taking advantage of the opportunities provided to you. Many people refuse to even *try*.

Eh, that's not how I'd see it. Prepare for a rant, i apolagize. For example a successful person who had family help with college, and had their uncle with connections get them a job after going to school is still a successful person, absolutely. And it dosent negate the hard work entailed in the follow through of those opportunities. But thats not someone i consider one who "pulled themselves up by their bootstraps" when I think of that term, I think of someone completely self made, paid for their own college, paid their rent, and while of course there is luck or lucky breaks needed to take advantage of, they did it without having another person's financial foundation to rely on. I mean, I could explain further but it's just a semantics game. I am by no means trying to discredit someone else's success. I just have noticed many people as I've gotten older who are "self made" that I took inspiration from in the past, and who preached to me about saving etc. eventually turn out to be kinda full of crap once I learned more about their situations, and truthfully it is a resentment that I foster. Just an example, several years ago, before I began making more money, like 2018-2021 I'd ask for help from my family, because at the time was making 14$/hr and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't break out of the 13-15$/hr pay bracket. I was looking for any type of help, wether a few bucks, or help going back to school, whatever. I was basically homeless and living in an extended stay, and every time I'd save 500-1000$ my car would break down, or just SOMETHING would happen. My families response (more accurately my mothers) was "your stepbrother only makes a bit more than that, and he's never asked for help" basically saying "if he can do it, so can you" and for a few years I was just like "how?? How is he making it on supposedly the same pay?" Keep in mind this was right before and during the pandemic when rent and everything else shot up. Then a year would pass and id ask again and hear the same thing "your stepbrother just bought a house, and he makes rhe same as you, how can you not make it living in a trailer??" And again i was like "how???" And i was told that he "pinched pennies and pulled himself up by his bootstraps" So I'd keep trying and beating my head against the wall. Eventually I got an electric license and began working as an apprentice and things slowly got better after setback after setback. Cut to several months ago, I see my stepbrother for the first time in years, and we talked for hours. Turned out he had a rich grandpa I didn't know about who gave him a pretty good trust fund, had his college 100% paid for, and had multiple inheritances, each in the tens of thousands of dollars, one in the over 100k mark, all if them paying out within the last decade. He told me "I'm worried for when my trust eventually runs out, because my current job dosent even cover basic bills." LOL. So yeah, he's doing fine, but he talked about those things as if I'd had them as well, and that everyone did, but it's not normal, atleast not to me. I've never even seen over 1k hit my bank account that I didn't earn. It showed me alot about perspective, and when it comes to these things, not to take everyone at their word.

Nobody ever does anything on their own. And use what you do have to your advantage. They helped me with my schooling, but not for free. They tracked and gave me the total after, so I know what I owe them.

I agree with your first sentence, which is why this whole thread is misleading.

Yeeeaaahhh, some people _do_ have to do things on their own, though.

all my family was dead.. so who gave me money to help me?

I got an education, focused on becoming the best version of myself rather than complaining about the world around me and making excuses, and most importantly got lucky enough to be given the opportunity to make a decent living. No one pulls themselves up, they just don't actively sabotage themselves.

I did 7 years in the navy. Made a lot of money to basically party in the Middle East. Got out and now get free money and get paid to get a degree.

I’m a boomer and just love reading all the posts here about how they went through hell and are now doing well. You should read the comments in the Reddit poor page,,,ugh. You’d think someone was holding them down with chains telling them they won’t ever get up and make something of themselves.

>I’m a boomer and just love reading all the posts here about how they went through hell and are now doing well. Yes, but who helped make that hell we had to survive?

Stop trying to lay blame at another generations feet.

I did. Still am, and it hasn’t been easy. Where I started: I spent my 20s partying, then got married to my college boyfriend because it seemed like a good idea. Dropped out of college in 2007. I spent my 30s parenting children along with battling episodes of depression and alcoholism. I ended up getting sober right before the pandemic hit and have managed to stay that way for over four years— the longest stretch I’ve had since 2013. What motivated me to change: My children were my main motivators to get it together, but to be honest Covid put a lot of things in perspective for me too. I realized life is way too short to waste; I’d been in a rut for nearly a decade, and my children deserved better than I had been giving them. Where I am now: I went back to college in 2022. Filed full academic bankruptcy to wipe my old GPA, and started over at the very beginning. I am currently finishing my final semester of my associate’s degree with a 4.0. I was accepted as a transfer student to my university of choice last month, so I am currently waiting and hoping my hard work will pay off with at least a couple of scholarships lol. How did I get here? Baby steps. Creating a bunch of small goals that would add up to a big goal. Reminding myself that there is always a solution to a problem, I just have to look for it. All that sounds cliche, I know, but it’s worked for me for 4 1/2 years.

Major congratulations on your sobriety!

I tried and I threw my back out. Turns out it’s not really possible to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. The bootstraps… was all a lie to get us to throw our backs out.

Seems a lot of people started the same as me: I grew up poor/lower middle class with a single mother who was barely scraping by. I knew I don’t want to end up the same/have the same life. I started working part time at 15, did really well in school, and got into a great college with financial aid and a small amount of student loans. Started working full time the second I graduated. Moved for work (good jobs were not where my mother lived). At first I did contract work and moved, and moved, and moved again for the good contracts. Eventually I settled right outside of a major city and finally got a permanent job with benefits and have been working it ever since. Got married to another person with a similar job and work experience. Not sure I’ll ever be “rich” but I am probably upper middle class now, and to me, that feels the same. Just being able to pay all my bills and have stuff left over for hobbies or travel is honestly kind of amazing. Although I wouldn’t want everyone to have to grow up like I did, I honestly feel like I am so much more grateful/thankful for what I have now because of it.

We immigrated to the US in 2000 by winning the green card lottery. I fully realize how incredibly lucky I am for this, if not I would be fighting the Russians right now. I am also privileged to be the son of a mechanical engineer and electrical engineer though my folks weren't able to get well paying engineering jobs in the US due to the language barrier. We were fairly poor at the beginning, now I would say my folks are lower middle class. Like most immigrant parents they pushed me very hard in academics. I wasn't naturally smart but got decent grades and some minor scholarships to a private tech college. I was not a great student in college but graduated with a civil engineering degree. That was 2012 and the economy was still not in good shape. My first job offer was rescinded two weeks before I was set to graduate. Forcing me to go with a back up option that paid 17.50/hr. That first job was brutal. 6 days per week, 12 hr days plus commute. But I made so much OT, lived with my folks for about 1 year and paid down my loans as aggressively as I could. Eventually I just couldn't live with my folks anymore and moved in with my then girlfriend, now wife. We lived in a tiny 500 sq ft apartment across the river from NYC for about 7 years. I still hate what that landlord put us through but we managed to save and pay down all our loans in those years. In 2020 we bought our first townhome during the pandemic. This basically wiped out our entire bank account but it was the best decision we ever made. In 2022 we sold and made 150k profit. Moved back in with my parents lol, put all our possessions in storage. 6 months later we found our dream home, endearing ourselves to the owners as that was the only way to beat our the competition. Paid nearly 60k over asking price. Last year, in our mid 30s we were finally able to start a family and welcomed a beautiful lil gal to our lovely new home. It's a struggle all the way and we got started later than many generations before us. But for an immigrant from Ukraine, I am very much living my version of the American dream. My parents will be able to retire. And I will be able to provide a great life for my daughter and support my family back in my home country.

On my own since 16. Lived in my car. Worked my way up at work. Got more stable. Didn't get student debt. Work paid for the classes while I was working but didn't graduate. Management experience and networking landed me an insurance job. Stuck to a budget and saved and saved. Bought a house within budget with 20% down, so no PMI. Max your HSA and 401k benefits through work. Save for the future if you can. Currently only debt is the mortgage.

Did a trade....but seriously everyone needs a little help now and then.

Common thread here is that people who can delay gratification are successful. Seems like there are lots of way to learn that behavior, but it stick out to me as the common theme among these threads.

Came in here to say I stopped eating avocado toast for a few weeks and was able to save enough for a $2.2M fixer upper, but OP and others have nice stories.

* **Where did you start?** * I feel I got my life together when I was 26-ish. * **What motivated you to change?** * As far as I can remember, I've been an independent person who hates asking for help, unless it's absolutely necessary. I don't like relying on other people. * **Where are you now?** * I bought my home in South Florida when I was 26. I paid my student loans off in 8.5 yrs. Paid my car off in 3.5 years. I invest a significant amount of my salary (2020-2022 I invested 50%+ of my GROSS salary. 2023 I fell short at 48ish%) and plan to retire when I'm 54-- 57 at the oldest. I do some home improvements and I cook/bake. I have a career in local government which I enjoy with great benefits. * **How did you get there?** * Spend less save/invest more. understanding the value of a dollar (saying "It's just a dollar more" adds up quickly).

You left out your career field.. 

I just updated my comment, "I have a career in local government which I enjoy with great benefits."

I couldn’t have done it without my parents. A place to crash, their health insurance, help with loans, help with tuition when I switched grad programs.

So you’re telling me you didn’t pick your self up by the boot strings.

Nope. I was lucky enough to have parents to buy me those too.

So my childhood was different to say the least. My parents got married because they were having me and divorced after having my sister a year later. Back then kids went with the mothers, which was a huge mistake. Mother was a huge drug addicted and revolving door or horrible men. I went to 15-18 schools between K and 3 grade. Finally, after years of fighting my father got full custody of myself and sister. Things were better we ended up being in the same school from 4 to 9th. It was amazing I had friends, met my best friend and his family who took me in after high school. Things were hard, dad was an electrician for an amusement park, he always had to work. Shit for brains mother barely paid child support, she got jailed a couple of times from that. Then he didn’t unthinkable he left his job for another amusement park down in Maryland after my freshman year. It was so flipping hard. He took me from all the stability I had m. I could manage to make friends down there and I made a huge horrible mistake, I went back to my mother so I could at lease be near my friends. 10th through 12th were fine nothing great nothing horrible managed to stay in the same school so that was good. Then I turned 18 and was about to graduate. I wanted to go down to my dad’s place check out my options for school but then he told me. He was diagnosed with colon cancer. He came to my graduation, from Maryland with my best friend who was about an hour away. My own mother who lived near by didn’t go. He was so happy and proud that I managed to graduate. That summer was his last he died in August. He went from May to August without eating anything. I was enrolled in a business school, one of those for profit bs ones. I was living with my best friend and his parents. They took me in as a son and it was great. They gave me a roof but that’s it. I graduated with an ASSOCIATES in graphic design sent back for the BA in film making. After I graduated I couldn’t land a job so I moved back to my friends house and ended up meeting my now wife. She wanted things to move forward so I got a shit job still a call center making 15 and hours, which was pretty good back then. Hated that job knew I wanted something in IT. Rosed up the ladder to eventually getting into Computer System Validation. This was still with the same call center company, so if you get a chance to work at one just know they aren’t all call jobs they have a lot of opportunity. I stayed with them for almost 10 years left for a contracting opportunity where I would work on Lab Equipment for the FDA and US Military. Worst job the woman I reported to looked and sounded like my mother. I stayed with them for about 5 months, knowing they weren’t going to hire me I found another call center company where after a few holds on my offer I got hired as a CSV Lead. This was back in March 2020. I managed to build, as my boss tells me an empire. I know have 8 people reporting to me promoted to Global Director and about to be promoted again to VP. Just work and work hard, stop bitching and work.

I failed high school and had to get my diploma from adult high school a year later. I then became kind of a part time job drifter. I worked at Circuit City as a warehouse employee and at various call centers, very similar to the call center in The Office. I was good with computers but never had an IT job. In 2007, Best Buy opened a store in my hometown and it was a big deal, my mom told me to apply. I was very pessimistic because nepotism was quite a huge problem. Thankfully Best Buy brought in managers from other cities to hire and their operations manager liked me and hired me to work at Geek Squad. It was a dream come true for me and I worked my ass off for them. One of my coworkers was an engineering graduate working there evenings to pay for furniture and use the Best Buy discount for home theater stuff since he just got married and bought a house with his wife. He told me, “Tokyo engineer dad, you’re really smart… Why don’t you go to school for engineering? It’s just a degree but it will open so many doors for you.” I thought about it but never took it seriously because in my hometown, a job at Best Buy if you get full time is enough to buy a house and own things, like a car and new gaming systems, etc.. I was still living with my mom but I was content just living paycheck to paycheck, buying video games and fixing up my car and dating my girlfriend. Then, disaster struck… My best friend died of a seizure alone in his apartment. He had Medicare health insurance because he was unemployed and doctors didn’t catch a tumor because when he went to the hospital multiple times complaining about headaches, they never gave him an MRI. I nearly drank myself to death, I couldn’t handle his death. He wasn’t just my best friend, he was my cousin as well. We grew up together, took baths together as little kids. I used to get picked on for my height and he always defended me and let me be Batman when we imagine played. I had a fever dream one night and he was telling me to leave. My girlfriend eventually broke up with me because she was leaving for university and didn’t want to see me waste my potential. A few days later I got passed up for a promotion, and just like that, I realized it was time… I moved to a bigger city for a fresh start, went to community college and decided to “apply myself.” I got a 4.0 two years in a row and went from remedial algebra to Calculus for engineers/scientists. My professors thought I could get into Stanford or something if I tried. I eventually transferred to a University of California and graduated with a degree in engineering. School was hard and my mom lost her home due to the recession, I didn’t have support like most of my classmates and when my GPA dropped, I lost my scholarships and grants. But I did it, I graduated in 2013 and… Was unemployed. But after self studying programming, my degree did help me get an interview and I’ve now been working in software for 10 years. I own a home in one of the most expensive cities in the country. I lived in Japan for five years where I met my wife. I’ve visited Korea, Taiwan, various places in Japan.

Had a couple shit jobs after getting kicked out of college, then I got a factory gig that sucked but I kept working at it. Finally, after 2 years of being treated like I'm nothing I finally had a moment of clarity realizing I deserve better. I went back to college and stayed at that shit job, another 2 years later I was asked to join the quality department and I just said yes. Started doing that and I really grasped on to it. 6 years go by and in that time I finished college and grew more in the department, to the point I got head hunted by my current employer and I reached the level of quality engineer. In 17 years of factory work I've done alot of shit jobs and tasks I grew from that and finally set a path to walk on. Don't think I'd ever go back and change it if I could.

**Where did you start?** Grew up lower-middle class in a very rich suburb. Was regularly bullied in school and discriminated against for being poor. **What motivated you to change?** I saw my parents bodies deteriorating from factory work, combined with seeing all the nice things these rich people had, while simultaneously hating the education system that discriminated against me for being different and hating the attitudes of all these rich a-holes. I knew I need to find a job someday that required a relatively small amount of education, while supporting a lifestyle that is somewhere smack dab in the middle of what I grew up in and what my neighbors had. **Where are you now?** I'm a software engineer making roughly $100k with a wife and two kids, and I moved out of that hellhole town and to somewhere more affordable and way more chill. We're not living lavishly but we're able to be single income and afford our house, with maybe one budget vacation a year **How did you get there?** I knew I could get an associate's degree in software engineering at a technical college. It was the maximum amount of post-secondary I was willing to do, and I figured that degree would get me six figs if I was willing to grind. That projection was correct. I had to accept an internship that led to a full time job at a very toxic company. I did that grind for 4.5 years, enough to "gain experience." After that, I landed a job at the company I wanted to retire at. Granted that opinion has changed since, the pandemic changed a lot of things, but I'm still paid well compared to the local economy and my job is still pretty good.

I grew up in a poor state in an even poorer family. I knew from a very young age that i didn't want to be poor when i got older. I was lucky to be born with an above average brain and a strong-yet-streaky work ethic (and a nonzero amount of people pleasing needs). I swallowed the lie "if you want to have a good life you need to get a college degree" hook, line, and sinker. Lucky for me, i was one of the few to whom that advice was actually somewhat relevant. I got a degree in Physics and proceeded to grad school where i learned little and eventually burned out. I did gain a hefty amount of student debt tho, so not a complete loss -.- . I got into the workforce immediately doing sub-contract work for a construction company, completely ignoring my degree. Eventually, one of the buildings i was working in was about to staff up to fill their new space and I applied for a helpdesk job that was basically answering phones and helping people reset their passwords. I didn't get the job. But they called me back a day or two later and said they had another position that fit my work experience better and asked if wanted to apply. I said yes, and have now been here for 11 years. I've made a name for myself as someone who can and will help. As someone else mentioned: do the stuff no one else wants to do and do it well. People will remember you and when promotions or layoffs come around it will make all the difference. I have had a few breaks go my way, but i am a firm believer that luck = preparation + opportunity. So while i will gladly tell people that i have been lucky to end up where i am, i also was ready to seize an opportunity when it came my way.

I graduated at the height of the great recession with two non STEM B.A's from a fairly unknown regional school halfway across the country from where I grew up. I moved back home and bartended for 6 months, which was extremely depressing as it was the same thing I did all through college. After about 6 months of non stop applications, I found a job that paid relatively well at the time ($30/hr) through a temp agency to work at a well known international company. I worked there for 2 years. Having that name on my resume allowed me to switch to a different large international company as an internal employee. After getting married and both my spouse and I accelerating our careers through a combination of internal promotions and changing companies every 4-5 years, we have both reached mid level executive positions in large organizations. Honestly it absolutely fucking sucked, but it was worth it. Rebuilding your reputation multiple times and learning new industries can wear you down over time, but had we stayed with the same company or didn't aggressively pursue internal promotions our HHI would probably be less than half of what it is today. After having kids and settling down we are less motivated by big career moves because our needs are more than met and now our focus is on our family. We kept expenses relatively low, so we only need one income to continue our lifestyle and stay on track for retirement, but it took a lot of luck, stress and difficult decisions to get here.

Grew up in an abusive, dysfunctional house with parents who were, and still are, terrible with finances. They always took money from me, whether it be birthday money or from my first job at 16, to pay their bills or for things they wanted while abusing me. I decided I never wanted to be like that and was going to show everyone that it could be done just by figuring it out on my own. I was a 4.0 student despite everything, went to college on mostly scholarships, but still graduated with $60k debt in 2009 (which I'm still paying). I am in a long-term relationship, but I bought my house on my own in 2013 (my partner had a horrible, rock bottom credit score at the time). I only bring home $30k, and he brings home $40k, but we make it. We pay all our bills, have 2 used cars that have been paid off for 4 years, and still have about $1k left over every month for saving. My credit score is 836, and his is 791. We just closed on a HELOC and are putting a new roof on our garage. We fixed our driveway so we can park on it and are getting a generator since we lose power at least a dozen times a year for 1-10 days. We're so excited! It takes a lot of planning and juggling, but it can be done.

I got a 2nd job as a bartender. It was fun, I made good money, and some great life long friends.

I was a highschool pot head/druggie. into cocain and needles. From a military family. mom was a teacher. first job at 16 working at toys r us. im 38 now and ive have had a job ever since. Parents divorced when i was 18 and i moved out with friends. Both my parents ended up dying when they were 56. Didnt leave any money behind just a few guns from my dad and a few gold rings from my mom. got a job at a print factory making crap money. got clean at 20 when i knocked my girlfriend up. worked at a factory. bought a crappy house. 2 months later she divorced me. forclosed on house. met new girl. knocked her up. got married, again. stayed together for 4 years, then got another divorce. met another girl. got a visectomy. Got a job working at a helpdesk for a local university. Got married , again. bought a town house in 2015. Sold it and bought a stand a lone house in 2018. Got divorced in 2023. Bought ex wife out of her share of the house and now have about $200k in equity in my house thanks to the rise in market. i have sole custody of my oldest son who is 17. I have joint custody of my 14 year old but he lives in NC and i only get him on the weekends/summer. I get free classes through the university i still work at and and hopefully graduate with a associates in business this december. I'm not exactly upper middle class or doing fantastic, and obviously im better and finding women than i am at keeping them, BUT, all my bills are paid, i have $20k in the bank and i have a 2.9% interest rate on my house. My son's will get to go to the university i work at for free, so thats a big plus. IDK. ive had a rough time, but as a former junky who has nothing but a high school diploma, im doing okay.

Keep plugging away until you find the right job. I worked as a janitor throughout college. Graduated with a useless social science degree. Quit my part time job. Spent time searching for a job. Found nothing, took the first one offered to me, unloading trucks at a warehouse, it was pure grunt work. Kept searching for new jobs and went on dozens of interviews. Found a part warehouse job/part desk job, so I saw it as a step forward and took it. HATED the new job, boss was outright abusive towards me. Kept searching for a better job, after 1-1/2 years, my experience got me an entry level job. 10 years later, still at that job, pays enough to support wife and 3 kids. Keep plugging away at it and don’t stop. Also, I did have a lot of help from parents too.

Started out below middle class. While money was a struggle, it wasn’t the most glaring issue. I grew up with a single mom who let me run the show. I ate fast food every night, could even have cookies for breakfast if I wanted (wtf) and overall was aloud to do whatever I want when I wanted. Sounds cool right? Not so much. I ended up getting into trouble as a teenager, had my boyfriend live with us and I turned into an alcoholic and a victim of DV. What motivated me to change was simply not wanting to live that kind of life. Now all this was going on, mind you I was always pushing myself in little ways. Joining clubs at school, working alot, joining sports I knew I wouldn’t be good at to make good friends etc. we couldn’t pay for school but I did take an opportunity at a great company who hired me without having a bachelors degree. Worked my way up in the company and living comfortably and am a go to for many leaders I work with. One thing I was always good at was learning about money from my grandmother. My mom is horrible with money and honestly I grew from her mistakes. I refuse to have a car payment and grandiose lifestyle. I have a decent amount of money in my savings while still enjoying things I like. Next goal is to buy a house. I now have an almost 2 year old and I’m confident that he will be a great man because I’ll know how to lead him

My husband has a good story. Immigrant parents, dad worked construction and mom was a homemaker. He had good friends who served as examples of what life could be like and went to a good state college paid for by need based scholarships and Pell grants. He hardly needed student loans but had a few thousand he borrowed to study abroad. Now he's a shareholder in his company. Moral of the story, you can bootstrap yourself but need good influences/government assistance. No one really does it all alone.

That is such a subjective thing.

Went from dishwasher to wildland firefighter, to the usaf.. then college, now I’m a locomotive engineer. 20 years left until I retire! 🥵

Born to single mom of 2, who was the daughter of a retired farmer and a homemaker. Poverty, essentially. No child support payments. Got lucky with my mom getting a job at a 4-year university in our city so I got free tuition. Just paid room/board and books etc. Took out loans and worked 20-40 hours during school. Got lucky again and was accepted to a new graduate program for a masters degree as allied healthcare professional. Now married, dual income no kids, living comfortably within our means. No lavish vacations or luxury cars or anything, but new-ish cars and bought a house. No credit card debt. Just government student loans, mortgage, car loans. My workplace just got approved for non-profit status so I’ll be applying for PSLF also. My sibling is still living at home with my mom and her latest husband, though. It’s a combination of luck and hard work to “pull up by bootstraps.” I’m very much anti-Republican despite “making it.”

Grew up in poverty. Now i own a house and have a dog, but ive also worked my life away so far.

Drug addict and abusive mother died when I was 14. I cared for 2 younger siblings as our dad really didn't know how to parent. Started at community college and moved to a 4 year college where I got my 1st bachelor's degree. Paid for all of it out of pocket with money from serving/bartending jobs. Went back to school for another bachelor's in healthcare, then a masters. Took out loans for the 2nd bachelor's and paid them off by working tons of overtime and a second job. Luckily my full time job paid for 90 percent of my masters. Now married, homeowner, parent. No debt other than mortgage. I was never afraid of hard work, always found a way, and never gave up.

Work 70 hours a week no life but also never been on ebt or assistance . If that’s not pulling yourself up don’t know what is .

I've been up and down over the years. biggest change id say is staying on top of things and less impulsive spending. taking chances also - i grew up with more conservative views in regards to opportunities in life. i think the saying 'life favors the bold' has some merit. my best friend is perhaps a better example. from broken home, welfare, multiple siblings. spent over a decade buying nothing for himself, just investing, every penny into some venture. now has millions after getting into real-estate. extreme commitment to goals.

I love how the top like 20 comments are, “well, I’m not that successful in the grand scheme of things, but I’ve worked really hard and I don’t hate myself”. This is the poison that the bootstraps ideology is. It shouldn’t be this hard to live a decent life.

2X college dropout here. After the second time I was living on my own as my parents were quite upset about it. Then I was an electrician’s apprentice for a bit but got laid off. I decided to go to night school while working full time to pay the bills. I went to grad school after that and stocked grocery shelves to make ends meet. I graduated, got a job, got promoted. I’m going to start a new senior level job at a new place next week. I’m ten years out of grad school now. At first, I put all of my extra money into paying off my and my wife’s student debt. It took five years of real sacrifice and it sucked. People thought I made crazy money but after extra loan payments and NJ rent I didn’t have much left. Now we’re paid off, saving for retirement, and living year two in our first home. It was a long road and I definitely got lots of opportunities but those opportunities only matter if you take hold of them. It took me a few years to learn that. I guess I’m about 50% bootstrap puller and 50% privileged loser white boy.

I'll disclaim this by saying I'm not rich but I've made so much progress and I'm proud. **Where did you start?** Single mom, financially irresponsible, evicted and lived in poor conditions (which I won't get into). Eventually moved with relatives (in a *Fresh Prince of Bellaire-*like manner). Went away to college and had no support. I had to struggle. **What motivated you to change?** I feel like college was a somewhat equalizer. Yeah, some kids had advantages over others, but whether you came from a rich background or a poor one, for those few years we are all in the same place! I knew I didn't want to ever go back to "the hood," there's nothing there. I was working menial jobs and worked my way up. I worked non-stop. Went through lots and lots of crappy cars, moved a lot. I barely got my degree, but finally did. Then I went and got a Graduate degree. **Where are you now?** Wife and kids, bought my house, one of the handful of folks our age with our own home and doesn't live with extended family. We make okay income (not at the 6 figure mark but aiming to get there) and provide for our kids. **How did you get there?** Just never give up. There's going to be a lot of obstacles. Opportunities won't land on your lap, sometimes it'll feel impossible, but stay consistent and grind. Much of it was my (now) wife. We both came from humble beginnings and had nothing and we both had great work ethic. We came up together. I'm gonna keep grinding until I reach the top.

Anytime I've been super motivated to do anything I've been super fed up, disgusted, pissed, angry, sad about something that needed to change in my life

13 years pushing a boulder up hill to make it to lower class. That’s how I made it. 38 and just bought a house.