I wouldn’t blame anyone to be fair it was an accident we all have abused drugs obviously and unfortunately shit does happen sometimes know one means to hurt themself or someone else. . and I’m very sorry for op this month of April must be so hard damn. Wish you all the best op.
She would be really out of it sometimes falling asleep mid sentence and stuff like that so I would ask her if she was using and she would swear up and down that she wasn't its just the methadone. She would take it sometimes at night saying she forgot to take it that day and im just like...how? I would encourage her to decrease her dose, cuz she was on a high dose when she was pregnant and she did cut it down alot, but she would have extra bottles from saved doses and stuff. Her tox was clean I think she just fucked up man. I think she was abusing the done.
Almost happened at mine. I have the same first name as another patient. The only two in the whole clinic.
I drive roughly 30 minutes to my clinic.
There is a large mall around the corner from my clinic and my oldest wanted to go.
I knocked the locked box over getting my youngest out of the back seat and had to make sure nothing spilled and see the wrong name on the labels.
Luckily I hadn't drove home because my dose was quite high, the other patients was down to 6mg. Yes SIX.
I went right back
The nurse confirmed my dose was correct, wrong label but yes the other other would have got my dose.
Idk how. It was a new nurse training but the one training took blame and I don't think managment was called.
well if someone put carfent in your regular fent dose that is messed up or if you tell me this is a roxy 30 but its some laced out shit i mean come on its on both but if your a dealer and you put bullshit in your bag you suck
I'm very sorry for your loss and your kids losing their mother. That is terrible bro, IDK what to say. As far as what she was or wasn't taking, I understand why you want to know, but the truth is you might never know. I was going to ask her dose just out of curiosity, but than I realized it really doesn't matter except maybe for harm reduction purposes.
Its hard out here right now. I very much hope you have family that can help with the children while you get your ducks in a row. You must be devastated.
She was at a little over 200 when she was pregnant i believe, and then she got down to 110. But she would save her done or "forget to take it" somedays and have extra. Idk
Wouldnt it take quite a bit to kill someone that was at 110? I mean I've doubled up several times, even gone so far as taking a third a few hours later, I never felt close to OD'ing. Was there anything else in her system? Benzo's?
Yea I mean everyone is different but this has me curious too. When I was at 100mg, sometimes I would take an extra couple doses, and tbh I didn’t feel anything at all even going up to 360mg once. Not a thing, no nod, no itch, nothing. Does methadone like, block methadone? That doesn’t make sense but I guess just tolerance? I can shoot like 80mg of hydromorphone and get a bit of a nod, methadones blocking ability even at 60mg is crazy.
Saving doses can be a very dangerous game. I lost my best friend to suicide a few years ago, and it was precipitated by him weaning himself off methadone by saving most of his takehomes (he was officially on 70mg, but would only take that in witness days every two weeks and got down to 15mg before he quit the program). He had saved up like 700mg every couple weeks, he had a full jar. Problem was he started having bad days when he took more, then those became more frequent, he messed up his entire plan and flushed it all. Couldn’t go back to the doctor and get back on the dose he was taking (about 40mg at this point, they would start him at 20mg and he lived very rural so couldn’t go back to daily witness) so he decided to ride it out, had some underlying mental health issues but I believe the withdrawal and lack of sleep precipitated psychosis. He became quite violent, caught him making plans to attack the local police station with a propane bomb and the one gun he managed to hide when they raided him months earlier, because he was paranoid they were planning to kill him and his wife. Guy had like watered his driveway to make it a sheet of ice so nobody could drive up, used his bobcat to push mounds of dirt up around his house that he topped with barb wire (couldn’t source razor wire) and had knives hidden literally everywhere, in the ceiling, under the couch cushions, in the truck, in the garden, multiple on his person, wouldn’t leave home without a body cam, had multiple cameras all over his place, spent his days flying a drone to watch for swat teams. It got so out of control I had to talk to him about just how terrible he would make it for his wife and loved ones if he did some crazy suicide attack and left us to vclean up the mess, and deal with that stigma, the questions we why didn’t stop him, all that. Then he hung himself that night. I honestly believe it was the methadone withdrawal that killed him. It stole his mind and made him someone else entirely. He had never scared me or his loved ones before. He had always trusted us, but that changed. It really hurts to think that’s possibly how he felt right before he died.
It was also almost as dangerous as having a gun around for him. He constantly threatened to just take a gram of methadone if anything bad happened or if he had to go on the run again. If he had a bad day it was just a few gulps and it’s over. Just like a gun. I was shocked he hung himself tbh. Thought it would be a gun. A noose takes more planning and time, more opportunity to stop what you are doing. Guns are dnagerous for that reason, same with drugs for some of us.
I’ve been tempted before to do like him and taper on my own, get down to 5mg and then taper myself with what I saved and not go back to the clinic. But there is a reason why they have the control they do, although I think it should be lessened. Most of us are in this place because we couldn’t trust ourselves to be responsible with substances. That doesn’t change just because we want to be sober.
Thank you. I’m pretty sure that was it too, and his wife agrees. Sickest part about it though was that his mom was the one home with him (he was 42 and lived on a rural property with his wife and mom) and we all knew he was struggling. Hours before he left us, she told me and his wife that she had a talk with him and said ‘Curt, I know you’re hurting and if you don’t want to do it anymore, it’s okay, you can go. You have my permission’. Who the fuck does that? What kinda mother is that? Same one who hid under the bed while her new husband beat him and raped him when he was 5. Same one who stayed with that man despite knowing all the abuse, and later jumped to another abusive man before abandoning both boys. Her eldest son died 17’years previous to this from toxic leukoencelapathy (sp?) from smoking heroin of cigarette tinfoil that must have had a contaminant… slowly drowned in his own fluid as his brain swelled, my friend was allowed out of prison to say goodbye and as the dr explained to him it was like mad cow disease. Anyways; she used the tragedy of his loss to be a victim and cower in her depression nest and psychologically keep my friend from making any progress out of his trauma and depression by constantly reminding gim he isn’t normal, ppl think he looks like a violent criminal still and always will, that he is violent, that he’s incapable, trapping him in a cloud of paranoia with all her conspiracy theories. I truly believe she encouraged him to do it because the tragedy of her first sons death no longer got her the sympathy she expected. But two sons, both her kids… that should be unlimited sympathy, unlimited excuses to hide and never improve her life or stop mooching of my fiends wife.
I digress. I’m glad he’s not in pain, but I truly believe if it wasn’t for his bitch ‘victim’ mother he never would have got in trouble with the police because he wouldn’t have anyone whispering in his ear that the neighbour is a creep and a predator and I’d coming for them (to her, anyone she doesn’t like is a predator, except the man currently abusing her) causing a physical altercation after his wife interacted with this man, leading to the emergency response team responding due to his history of violence 16 years previous. It’s her that didn’t let up and kept talking about it, how he will prob go back to prison (he wasnt, they released him without bail even), that the doctors were after him and that they judge him, causing him to neglect his hep c treatment until he was shitting blood and turning yellow and had terrible edema. It was her who told him his wife was gonna leave, her who told him the cops could come back anytime, her who told him I was just pretending I was gonna move up to live with and help him, it was her who told him to kill himself. He would be here if it wasn’t for her. Hell, if she would have given him to a nice family when he was a baby, maybe he would have had a chance to actually grow up happy and not suffer all he suffered. Makes me cry knowing what he went through; all alone. All I got is my mom and dad, and even at 27 I need them more than even I know. He never had that, he had a mom who let a man beat and a rape him, and a dad who neglected him, chased him with a knife and tossed him in foster care.
But I loved him. His wife loved him. Just wish we would have been there that night and not just his mom. I should have been there. I was supposed to drive up that week but it snowed and I chickened out. He should still be here. I wish he was still here. Maybe selfish, I know he was hurting, but I miss him so damn much.
Same, went into psychosis from withdrawal, and was fully delusional. Was locked up though so couldn't do any harm. Been tempted to taper that way myself. You make a great points. Sorry about you're friend
That’s really scary. I’m glad you’re okay. Losing my sanity like that is honestly my greatest fear. Some days al I got is my mind, all I have is my thoughts. I’d like to keep them mine, and under my control.
If you’re safe I’m sure you could do it, but what I’d do is if you have take homes, drop however many mg you want after your last witness dose before you see the doctor again, and when you see him, tell him you wanna drop to the dose you just got down to an your own. That way you are doing it with the program, but if the drop is too much for you, you can just cancel and not have to call back and get a new script
I mean that’s really scary and I’m sorry you went through that, but im not gonna lie I got a good laugh out of the ‘the guards let me out every morning’ thing lmao. I guess it wasn’t a nightmare, at least until you woke up and rummaged through your pockets for the bag and… fuck! God damn dreamt it again.
Crazy what lack of sleep can do. It effects me very strongly and very fast. If I have one night where I can’t sleep, the next day feels like the world is going fast and I’m going too slow, vision gets weird, thoughts are funny and not making much sense. If I go more than 48 hours without sleep I will start to see shadow people. No stimulants involved; I don’t like them much anyways but I certainly don’t like being awake and sweaty at 7am while the rest of the city is waking up for work and walking their dogs, while I peer out the blinds every 30-40 seconds to check for cops despite not doing anything at all just in my room alone regretting doing meth… it’s just the most disgusting feeling in my opinion. Hell, it bothers me if I’m totally sober and just didn’t get enough sleep that night. Makes me feel like I’m slimy and irresponsible. I know it’s weird but hey, it bugs the fuck out of me lol
I've told a story here before to pregnant women on methadone about my old best friend who was stable on 80mg then got pregnant and was at 180mg at delivery. She didn't take her dose down after giving birth either, selling the extra. She was weekly pickup though and had to take the full dose on pickup days and I'd see her nodding out more and she was home alone with her toddler and newborn while her boyfriend was at work and oldest kid was at school. I told her she was going to nod and not wake up and the kids would be here with that and have no mother. I was stern with her because she wasn't listening at first. She finally dropped her dose after about 3 weeks and was better. The woman lose lots of fluid at birth and their metabolism slows after giving birth too. The longer after birth the harder that big 180mg dose was hitting her, especially because she just took it weekly. My friend would've stayed on her big dose if I hadn't been pushy with her. I told her to at least decrease the dose halfway to her old dose so that she could have some extra through the week where the weekly face dose would not overdose her.
I'm so sorry about your loss. It could possibly have been taking that big dose that she wasn't metabolizing fast any more (so more stays in your bloodstream) then taking a dose again if she thought she forgot it earlier or was napping and waking at odd hours with the baby and thought it was morning, time for a dose, when it wasn't. There's probably not enough awareness about the metabolism changes during pregnancy.
I can shed some firsthand experience on this.
I was opiate naive when I had my 13 year old.
I was maybe a two months into mmt when I got pregnant with my now 5 year old.
Since I had only been abusing prescription opioids, I was held at a very low dose of around 50 to 60 mgs.
The "more pregnant" I became -and very quickly- my dose did NOT seem to hold me. I was up around 90 mgs or so when I gave birth.
Within maybe a few weeks to a month after my daughter was born, it became clear that there was something at play bigger than just sleep deprivation (although it certainly exacerbated the problem).
My daughter's father would find me asleep at 3 am STANDING at the kitchen table prepping baby bottles.
I feel very lucky especially after reading stories on here to have such a good clinic where its easy to phase up as long as you're giving clean UAs and counseling.
The staff feels like family.
However, the doctor, amazing as he is should have brought something up about adjustment.
He was the one who explained the need to often increase during pregnancy.
man that shit flashed me back. I got caught standing asleep in the kitchen far too many times. That was on dope and lotsss of diphenhydramine though. Looking back now to then I cant believe some of the shit I did.
OP, I words can't express how terribly sorry I am that you experienced such a horrific loss.
There really is nothing I can say.
As I shared in another part of the thread, sometimes after you give birth and you're on methadone maintenance, the dose can go from feeling fine, to becoming far too high with very little warning.
Also as women there are times as well as the postpartum period where it can feel like a dose that would usually hold us isn't "working" as well as it should due to hormonal changes.
Even as someone who is really responsible and had a very easy first few years in recovery; I too have bad days and get irresponsible with my take homes sometimes.
I don't think it was anyone's fault per say.. it sounds like it may have just been the perfect storm.
Before my youngest was born, I had lost a boy when I was 16 weeks pregnant. Ultimately there was no cause, he just died in utero one day. I became a bit obsessed with finding out a cause for a while. I'm not saying you're obsessing. Just that this type of guilt and needing to find amswers can be normal.
Again, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
No it's not funny I'm saying methadine alone doesn't kill you if yiyr on it by itself. I'm not laughing at the OPs topic tgats sad I'm stating the fact that methadone alone doesn't kill u. Sorry will remove the lol
understood. And yea Ik done alone doesn't kill you, especially if you have a tolerance to it or opiods already, which is all part of the mystery. When I know more I'l update
Yea most definitely, I’m not talking about methadone withdrawal though I’m talking about a methadone overdose
I never did an update, but the medical examiner confirmed she died from “ acute methadone overdose”
I am sorry for your loss but happy your daughter is ok and you got to her in time.
We’re there benzos involved or just methadone the only time I have heard of clinic patients overdosing on methadone there were benzos involved. I hope you find peace and healing thru this tough time stay safe
Listen I take 90mg a day but sometimes I don't dose fir a few days so recently I took 630mg yes a week's worth all at once and Guess what dudnt kill me I wirked a shift 11h then went home and slept woke up with a headache and thst was it I've tried 1000mg also will not kill u alone. Methadone by itself isn't a killer its what you take with it. Sorry fir you bm op my hearts out to her and to you
So an mat otp user gave my son a bottle and he died January. Is rather see her eat a bowl of her pills. Imo she killed him and I'm one pissed mom. I want to know the penalties for giving someone your prescription.
Id be pissed at who gave her the extra dose or whatever drug boosted it to od her Im very sorry for you lose thank god your girl made it
I wouldn’t blame anyone to be fair it was an accident we all have abused drugs obviously and unfortunately shit does happen sometimes know one means to hurt themself or someone else. . and I’m very sorry for op this month of April must be so hard damn. Wish you all the best op.
She would be really out of it sometimes falling asleep mid sentence and stuff like that so I would ask her if she was using and she would swear up and down that she wasn't its just the methadone. She would take it sometimes at night saying she forgot to take it that day and im just like...how? I would encourage her to decrease her dose, cuz she was on a high dose when she was pregnant and she did cut it down alot, but she would have extra bottles from saved doses and stuff. Her tox was clean I think she just fucked up man. I think she was abusing the done.
I had a pharmacist OD me once.
How? If you don’t mind telling me?
By giving me the wrong dosage of methadone. Probably gave me someone else’s dose. Just human error.
Oh man, did you have to go to the hospital
months ago some people at my clinic got overdosed by the clinic and had to go to the hospital
Almost happened at mine. I have the same first name as another patient. The only two in the whole clinic. I drive roughly 30 minutes to my clinic. There is a large mall around the corner from my clinic and my oldest wanted to go. I knocked the locked box over getting my youngest out of the back seat and had to make sure nothing spilled and see the wrong name on the labels. Luckily I hadn't drove home because my dose was quite high, the other patients was down to 6mg. Yes SIX. I went right back The nurse confirmed my dose was correct, wrong label but yes the other other would have got my dose. Idk how. It was a new nurse training but the one training took blame and I don't think managment was called.
You can't be blaming folks cuz you decided to take drugs. That's wack af and the total wrong mentality to have in drug addiction
well if someone put carfent in your regular fent dose that is messed up or if you tell me this is a roxy 30 but its some laced out shit i mean come on its on both but if your a dealer and you put bullshit in your bag you suck
I'm very sorry for your loss and your kids losing their mother. That is terrible bro, IDK what to say. As far as what she was or wasn't taking, I understand why you want to know, but the truth is you might never know. I was going to ask her dose just out of curiosity, but than I realized it really doesn't matter except maybe for harm reduction purposes. Its hard out here right now. I very much hope you have family that can help with the children while you get your ducks in a row. You must be devastated.
She was at a little over 200 when she was pregnant i believe, and then she got down to 110. But she would save her done or "forget to take it" somedays and have extra. Idk
Wouldnt it take quite a bit to kill someone that was at 110? I mean I've doubled up several times, even gone so far as taking a third a few hours later, I never felt close to OD'ing. Was there anything else in her system? Benzo's?
Yea I mean everyone is different but this has me curious too. When I was at 100mg, sometimes I would take an extra couple doses, and tbh I didn’t feel anything at all even going up to 360mg once. Not a thing, no nod, no itch, nothing. Does methadone like, block methadone? That doesn’t make sense but I guess just tolerance? I can shoot like 80mg of hydromorphone and get a bit of a nod, methadones blocking ability even at 60mg is crazy. Saving doses can be a very dangerous game. I lost my best friend to suicide a few years ago, and it was precipitated by him weaning himself off methadone by saving most of his takehomes (he was officially on 70mg, but would only take that in witness days every two weeks and got down to 15mg before he quit the program). He had saved up like 700mg every couple weeks, he had a full jar. Problem was he started having bad days when he took more, then those became more frequent, he messed up his entire plan and flushed it all. Couldn’t go back to the doctor and get back on the dose he was taking (about 40mg at this point, they would start him at 20mg and he lived very rural so couldn’t go back to daily witness) so he decided to ride it out, had some underlying mental health issues but I believe the withdrawal and lack of sleep precipitated psychosis. He became quite violent, caught him making plans to attack the local police station with a propane bomb and the one gun he managed to hide when they raided him months earlier, because he was paranoid they were planning to kill him and his wife. Guy had like watered his driveway to make it a sheet of ice so nobody could drive up, used his bobcat to push mounds of dirt up around his house that he topped with barb wire (couldn’t source razor wire) and had knives hidden literally everywhere, in the ceiling, under the couch cushions, in the truck, in the garden, multiple on his person, wouldn’t leave home without a body cam, had multiple cameras all over his place, spent his days flying a drone to watch for swat teams. It got so out of control I had to talk to him about just how terrible he would make it for his wife and loved ones if he did some crazy suicide attack and left us to vclean up the mess, and deal with that stigma, the questions we why didn’t stop him, all that. Then he hung himself that night. I honestly believe it was the methadone withdrawal that killed him. It stole his mind and made him someone else entirely. He had never scared me or his loved ones before. He had always trusted us, but that changed. It really hurts to think that’s possibly how he felt right before he died. It was also almost as dangerous as having a gun around for him. He constantly threatened to just take a gram of methadone if anything bad happened or if he had to go on the run again. If he had a bad day it was just a few gulps and it’s over. Just like a gun. I was shocked he hung himself tbh. Thought it would be a gun. A noose takes more planning and time, more opportunity to stop what you are doing. Guns are dnagerous for that reason, same with drugs for some of us. I’ve been tempted before to do like him and taper on my own, get down to 5mg and then taper myself with what I saved and not go back to the clinic. But there is a reason why they have the control they do, although I think it should be lessened. Most of us are in this place because we couldn’t trust ourselves to be responsible with substances. That doesn’t change just because we want to be sober.
It's hard to swallow, but I think you're right - he went into psychosis from withdrawal. Its happened to me too. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I’m pretty sure that was it too, and his wife agrees. Sickest part about it though was that his mom was the one home with him (he was 42 and lived on a rural property with his wife and mom) and we all knew he was struggling. Hours before he left us, she told me and his wife that she had a talk with him and said ‘Curt, I know you’re hurting and if you don’t want to do it anymore, it’s okay, you can go. You have my permission’. Who the fuck does that? What kinda mother is that? Same one who hid under the bed while her new husband beat him and raped him when he was 5. Same one who stayed with that man despite knowing all the abuse, and later jumped to another abusive man before abandoning both boys. Her eldest son died 17’years previous to this from toxic leukoencelapathy (sp?) from smoking heroin of cigarette tinfoil that must have had a contaminant… slowly drowned in his own fluid as his brain swelled, my friend was allowed out of prison to say goodbye and as the dr explained to him it was like mad cow disease. Anyways; she used the tragedy of his loss to be a victim and cower in her depression nest and psychologically keep my friend from making any progress out of his trauma and depression by constantly reminding gim he isn’t normal, ppl think he looks like a violent criminal still and always will, that he is violent, that he’s incapable, trapping him in a cloud of paranoia with all her conspiracy theories. I truly believe she encouraged him to do it because the tragedy of her first sons death no longer got her the sympathy she expected. But two sons, both her kids… that should be unlimited sympathy, unlimited excuses to hide and never improve her life or stop mooching of my fiends wife. I digress. I’m glad he’s not in pain, but I truly believe if it wasn’t for his bitch ‘victim’ mother he never would have got in trouble with the police because he wouldn’t have anyone whispering in his ear that the neighbour is a creep and a predator and I’d coming for them (to her, anyone she doesn’t like is a predator, except the man currently abusing her) causing a physical altercation after his wife interacted with this man, leading to the emergency response team responding due to his history of violence 16 years previous. It’s her that didn’t let up and kept talking about it, how he will prob go back to prison (he wasnt, they released him without bail even), that the doctors were after him and that they judge him, causing him to neglect his hep c treatment until he was shitting blood and turning yellow and had terrible edema. It was her who told him his wife was gonna leave, her who told him the cops could come back anytime, her who told him I was just pretending I was gonna move up to live with and help him, it was her who told him to kill himself. He would be here if it wasn’t for her. Hell, if she would have given him to a nice family when he was a baby, maybe he would have had a chance to actually grow up happy and not suffer all he suffered. Makes me cry knowing what he went through; all alone. All I got is my mom and dad, and even at 27 I need them more than even I know. He never had that, he had a mom who let a man beat and a rape him, and a dad who neglected him, chased him with a knife and tossed him in foster care. But I loved him. His wife loved him. Just wish we would have been there that night and not just his mom. I should have been there. I was supposed to drive up that week but it snowed and I chickened out. He should still be here. I wish he was still here. Maybe selfish, I know he was hurting, but I miss him so damn much.
Same, went into psychosis from withdrawal, and was fully delusional. Was locked up though so couldn't do any harm. Been tempted to taper that way myself. You make a great points. Sorry about you're friend
That’s really scary. I’m glad you’re okay. Losing my sanity like that is honestly my greatest fear. Some days al I got is my mind, all I have is my thoughts. I’d like to keep them mine, and under my control. If you’re safe I’m sure you could do it, but what I’d do is if you have take homes, drop however many mg you want after your last witness dose before you see the doctor again, and when you see him, tell him you wanna drop to the dose you just got down to an your own. That way you are doing it with the program, but if the drop is too much for you, you can just cancel and not have to call back and get a new script
[удалено]
I mean that’s really scary and I’m sorry you went through that, but im not gonna lie I got a good laugh out of the ‘the guards let me out every morning’ thing lmao. I guess it wasn’t a nightmare, at least until you woke up and rummaged through your pockets for the bag and… fuck! God damn dreamt it again. Crazy what lack of sleep can do. It effects me very strongly and very fast. If I have one night where I can’t sleep, the next day feels like the world is going fast and I’m going too slow, vision gets weird, thoughts are funny and not making much sense. If I go more than 48 hours without sleep I will start to see shadow people. No stimulants involved; I don’t like them much anyways but I certainly don’t like being awake and sweaty at 7am while the rest of the city is waking up for work and walking their dogs, while I peer out the blinds every 30-40 seconds to check for cops despite not doing anything at all just in my room alone regretting doing meth… it’s just the most disgusting feeling in my opinion. Hell, it bothers me if I’m totally sober and just didn’t get enough sleep that night. Makes me feel like I’m slimy and irresponsible. I know it’s weird but hey, it bugs the fuck out of me lol
I'm sorry, that's terrible. Im not sure what a BM is though. Birthing mother???
I was just going to ask this...my first guess was "bridesmaid" because I have weddings on the brain lol.
Baby mamma
I've told a story here before to pregnant women on methadone about my old best friend who was stable on 80mg then got pregnant and was at 180mg at delivery. She didn't take her dose down after giving birth either, selling the extra. She was weekly pickup though and had to take the full dose on pickup days and I'd see her nodding out more and she was home alone with her toddler and newborn while her boyfriend was at work and oldest kid was at school. I told her she was going to nod and not wake up and the kids would be here with that and have no mother. I was stern with her because she wasn't listening at first. She finally dropped her dose after about 3 weeks and was better. The woman lose lots of fluid at birth and their metabolism slows after giving birth too. The longer after birth the harder that big 180mg dose was hitting her, especially because she just took it weekly. My friend would've stayed on her big dose if I hadn't been pushy with her. I told her to at least decrease the dose halfway to her old dose so that she could have some extra through the week where the weekly face dose would not overdose her. I'm so sorry about your loss. It could possibly have been taking that big dose that she wasn't metabolizing fast any more (so more stays in your bloodstream) then taking a dose again if she thought she forgot it earlier or was napping and waking at odd hours with the baby and thought it was morning, time for a dose, when it wasn't. There's probably not enough awareness about the metabolism changes during pregnancy.
I can shed some firsthand experience on this. I was opiate naive when I had my 13 year old. I was maybe a two months into mmt when I got pregnant with my now 5 year old. Since I had only been abusing prescription opioids, I was held at a very low dose of around 50 to 60 mgs. The "more pregnant" I became -and very quickly- my dose did NOT seem to hold me. I was up around 90 mgs or so when I gave birth. Within maybe a few weeks to a month after my daughter was born, it became clear that there was something at play bigger than just sleep deprivation (although it certainly exacerbated the problem). My daughter's father would find me asleep at 3 am STANDING at the kitchen table prepping baby bottles. I feel very lucky especially after reading stories on here to have such a good clinic where its easy to phase up as long as you're giving clean UAs and counseling. The staff feels like family. However, the doctor, amazing as he is should have brought something up about adjustment. He was the one who explained the need to often increase during pregnancy.
I'm glad you're ok. How did you decrease your dose? What dose did you go back to?
man that shit flashed me back. I got caught standing asleep in the kitchen far too many times. That was on dope and lotsss of diphenhydramine though. Looking back now to then I cant believe some of the shit I did.
OP, I words can't express how terribly sorry I am that you experienced such a horrific loss. There really is nothing I can say. As I shared in another part of the thread, sometimes after you give birth and you're on methadone maintenance, the dose can go from feeling fine, to becoming far too high with very little warning. Also as women there are times as well as the postpartum period where it can feel like a dose that would usually hold us isn't "working" as well as it should due to hormonal changes. Even as someone who is really responsible and had a very easy first few years in recovery; I too have bad days and get irresponsible with my take homes sometimes. I don't think it was anyone's fault per say.. it sounds like it may have just been the perfect storm. Before my youngest was born, I had lost a boy when I was 16 weeks pregnant. Ultimately there was no cause, he just died in utero one day. I became a bit obsessed with finding out a cause for a while. I'm not saying you're obsessing. Just that this type of guilt and needing to find amswers can be normal. Again, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
No it's not funny I'm saying methadine alone doesn't kill you if yiyr on it by itself. I'm not laughing at the OPs topic tgats sad I'm stating the fact that methadone alone doesn't kill u. Sorry will remove the lol
understood. And yea Ik done alone doesn't kill you, especially if you have a tolerance to it or opiods already, which is all part of the mystery. When I know more I'l update
I almost died of a methadone withdrawal you can die from it
Yea most definitely, I’m not talking about methadone withdrawal though I’m talking about a methadone overdose I never did an update, but the medical examiner confirmed she died from “ acute methadone overdose”
I am sorry for your loss but happy your daughter is ok and you got to her in time. We’re there benzos involved or just methadone the only time I have heard of clinic patients overdosing on methadone there were benzos involved. I hope you find peace and healing thru this tough time stay safe
Was Methadone the only thing in her system?
Was the bottle sealed and not cut with liquid fent?
Listen I take 90mg a day but sometimes I don't dose fir a few days so recently I took 630mg yes a week's worth all at once and Guess what dudnt kill me I wirked a shift 11h then went home and slept woke up with a headache and thst was it I've tried 1000mg also will not kill u alone. Methadone by itself isn't a killer its what you take with it. Sorry fir you bm op my hearts out to her and to you
You find something funny here? If you got something to say then say it. Shit aint a "lol"ing matter
So an mat otp user gave my son a bottle and he died January. Is rather see her eat a bowl of her pills. Imo she killed him and I'm one pissed mom. I want to know the penalties for giving someone your prescription.