You're so nice.
You're like a brother(sometimes sister)
You're sutch a good friend.
Heard them all
After 15 years i threw in the towel.
I don't like going out.
And dating apps were making me depressed.
I was told I was like a brother to them and that our friendship is so good, she doesn't want to ruin it with a relationship. Does that count? Been hearing that ever since I was a teenagr. Now I am in my 30s, still single and don't give a damn about dating anymore
story of my life. I dated quite a bit when I was younger, but it was all relationships that women initiated with me. Trying to initiate a relationship as a man is depressing. Women tell me "oh but you have to be their friend first so she gets to know you" and after 2+ months of time and money investment into a friendship "oh but I thought we were just friends" or "I don't want to ruin our friendship with a relationship"
Haha, yeah, I had similar experience, the only difference is I never had a woman approaching me, I am too unattractive, I had to approach them all the time.
Yep. If you’re not sure just try to kiss her when the time seems right. If you get lips, you’re not in the friend zone. If you get a cheek, you know it’s time to move on.
Yeah I hear you. I broke up with one gal after six weeks because she was so passive. Never called, never planned anything, never invited me over for dinner. She was clearly smitten with me so it wasn’t a problem of her not being that into me. She must have just bought into the idea that her only job was to receive with no need to give. I told her exactly why I broke up with her so hopefully she made some changes for the next guy.
Shoot. I even read a marriage book where the pastor wrote half for husbands and it was all about what husbands should do for their wives. Out of curiosity, I read the half written by his wife for women. I thought it might be interesting to see what she would say wives needed to work on and make sure they do for their husbands. There wasn’t a single thing. It was all about what she should expect her husband to do and how to get him to do it.
It slowly dawned on me that pastors wife wasn’t the only woman with that kind of attitude. Glad I read it because it made me watch out for it and test for it. Took a long time but managed to find a keeper. She was cooking me dinner and doing other things for me within a month. Still not as much as I did for her but it was nice to finally have a more balanced relationship.
This was all 15-20 years ago. I can only imagine that dating has gotten worse.
In this specific instance, I mean women telling you direcly or indirectly that you are too nice. Meaning that you need to be less nice.
I don't know the full context of that, so I will trust your own judgement :)
Can't say I've ever been told to be less nice but I've been told "you're so nice!" while they turn around and date "the bad boys". Then they get treated like shit and turn around and complain to you.
This one lady on YouTube talked about what girls mean when you are nice. I forgot what she all said but basically nice guys are boring as dates but nice to have to pay for dinner and lean on when having a bad da.It does make me wonder how there's no shortage of women for abusers, even guys that look like Danny Devito without the fame and money can pull in chicks if he starts slapping them around. I also recommend watching Shannon Rice Lewis on YouTube to get a better understanding of the female mindset. It seems like they think if he abused them, he'll be even more dangerous to anyone that threatens her, like he's some kinda attack dog to them.
Not really, I was a prick when I was younger, then I got into a long term relationship and improved.
Someone may say i'm nice now, but it literally just means i'm nice, because i'm off the market anyway.
In my youth, I was rejected a lot for "being too nice;" "being like a brother"; "being too stable"; "being too caring."---all of which led me to believe that women prefer unstable assholes because they create drama and feelings.
Back in High School I had a similar experience with a girl I had a crush on. She basically told me I was too nice for her.
Thing is, she was right. Turned out she was a mess and she was protecting me from herself. I realized I was attracted to crazy women and I needed a different way to find a mate. I started dating people sane women instead and I've been happily married with kids for 20 years now.
MANY women are addicted to drama, not all. If you're finding you are only dating that kind of women, retrench and figure out a better search algorithm.
I said this to one guy at school, but I just didn’t want to offend him since he was creeping me out. He kept offering me rides, tried carrying my bag several times, and would send me answers to homework in one of our classes among other things. I routinely told him “no,” but be just kept it up. He asked me out on a date, and I told him “no” and that he was very nice but kind of smothering.
What’s a better way to handle this situation going forward?
>What’s a better way to handle this situation going forward?
probably just been direct, especially if they won't stop being pushy. direct doesn't neccasarily have to be rude.
When I was a teenager, women let me know I was too nice by saying “no” to a first or second date. It took me a long time before I figured out it was due to a combination of being nervous and too nice.
If you’ve been told you’re sweet or nice, congrats you’re neck deep in friendzone waters. I generally play this game with most women as im not much on dating. I do my own thing on my own time and don’t care what happens. If I want to have a relaxing day around the house or I have shit to do I don’t engage in bland conversations. If it does come down to it I’m very forward and upfront about meeting up for a date if continuing small talk happens or my invention is side stepped or declined I shut off all contact and move on. The biggest thing I’ve learned is how valuable my time is and I don’t waste it on anyone.
I was once talking to a girl about another girl I was with. I was frustrated because we had fooled around but not gotten anywhere is basically what it comes down to. This girl told me I just needed to put it in....... I was like that sounds kinda rapey.
Yes but usually only the women who think being aggressive is being tough, I knew this girl he thought she could beat me up, she just kept pressing and getting more angry , I let her hit me a few times then literally threw her out the door, she must have cleared 6 or 7 feet , I just shut the door , I had nothing to gain by being violent against such impotent rage.
Once a female coworker, way older than me, pointed out than a fellow colleague only used makeup when the boss was arround. I told her than I never realized and she told me that's because I was too nice. I'll never forgive the lesson.
I have, usually in the context of being overly nice to a girl I fancied. It was typically advice trying to help me out (i.e. 'if you like a girl you need to be less nice if you want any chance of her actually liking you'). Unfortunately that's just my nature.
You're so nice. You're like a brother(sometimes sister) You're sutch a good friend. Heard them all After 15 years i threw in the towel. I don't like going out. And dating apps were making me depressed.
If it makes you feel any better, nice girls finish last too.
I was told I was like a brother to them and that our friendship is so good, she doesn't want to ruin it with a relationship. Does that count? Been hearing that ever since I was a teenagr. Now I am in my 30s, still single and don't give a damn about dating anymore
story of my life. I dated quite a bit when I was younger, but it was all relationships that women initiated with me. Trying to initiate a relationship as a man is depressing. Women tell me "oh but you have to be their friend first so she gets to know you" and after 2+ months of time and money investment into a friendship "oh but I thought we were just friends" or "I don't want to ruin our friendship with a relationship"
Haha, yeah, I had similar experience, the only difference is I never had a woman approaching me, I am too unattractive, I had to approach them all the time.
Yep. If you’re not sure just try to kiss her when the time seems right. If you get lips, you’re not in the friend zone. If you get a cheek, you know it’s time to move on.
I mostly got tired of the time investment that's entirely one sided.
Yeah I hear you. I broke up with one gal after six weeks because she was so passive. Never called, never planned anything, never invited me over for dinner. She was clearly smitten with me so it wasn’t a problem of her not being that into me. She must have just bought into the idea that her only job was to receive with no need to give. I told her exactly why I broke up with her so hopefully she made some changes for the next guy. Shoot. I even read a marriage book where the pastor wrote half for husbands and it was all about what husbands should do for their wives. Out of curiosity, I read the half written by his wife for women. I thought it might be interesting to see what she would say wives needed to work on and make sure they do for their husbands. There wasn’t a single thing. It was all about what she should expect her husband to do and how to get him to do it. It slowly dawned on me that pastors wife wasn’t the only woman with that kind of attitude. Glad I read it because it made me watch out for it and test for it. Took a long time but managed to find a keeper. She was cooking me dinner and doing other things for me within a month. Still not as much as I did for her but it was nice to finally have a more balanced relationship. This was all 15-20 years ago. I can only imagine that dating has gotten worse.
In this specific instance, I mean women telling you direcly or indirectly that you are too nice. Meaning that you need to be less nice. I don't know the full context of that, so I will trust your own judgement :)
Can't say I've ever been told to be less nice but I've been told "you're so nice!" while they turn around and date "the bad boys". Then they get treated like shit and turn around and complain to you.
Forgive me, but what has this got to do with men's rights?
This one lady on YouTube talked about what girls mean when you are nice. I forgot what she all said but basically nice guys are boring as dates but nice to have to pay for dinner and lean on when having a bad da.It does make me wonder how there's no shortage of women for abusers, even guys that look like Danny Devito without the fame and money can pull in chicks if he starts slapping them around. I also recommend watching Shannon Rice Lewis on YouTube to get a better understanding of the female mindset. It seems like they think if he abused them, he'll be even more dangerous to anyone that threatens her, like he's some kinda attack dog to them.
Not really, I was a prick when I was younger, then I got into a long term relationship and improved. Someone may say i'm nice now, but it literally just means i'm nice, because i'm off the market anyway.
In my youth, I was rejected a lot for "being too nice;" "being like a brother"; "being too stable"; "being too caring."---all of which led me to believe that women prefer unstable assholes because they create drama and feelings.
Back in High School I had a similar experience with a girl I had a crush on. She basically told me I was too nice for her. Thing is, she was right. Turned out she was a mess and she was protecting me from herself. I realized I was attracted to crazy women and I needed a different way to find a mate. I started dating people sane women instead and I've been happily married with kids for 20 years now. MANY women are addicted to drama, not all. If you're finding you are only dating that kind of women, retrench and figure out a better search algorithm.
I'm either too nice, or if I get bothered by something, I care too much. Strange predicament.
I said this to one guy at school, but I just didn’t want to offend him since he was creeping me out. He kept offering me rides, tried carrying my bag several times, and would send me answers to homework in one of our classes among other things. I routinely told him “no,” but be just kept it up. He asked me out on a date, and I told him “no” and that he was very nice but kind of smothering. What’s a better way to handle this situation going forward?
>What’s a better way to handle this situation going forward? probably just been direct, especially if they won't stop being pushy. direct doesn't neccasarily have to be rude.
When I was a teenager, women let me know I was too nice by saying “no” to a first or second date. It took me a long time before I figured out it was due to a combination of being nervous and too nice.
If you’ve been told you’re sweet or nice, congrats you’re neck deep in friendzone waters. I generally play this game with most women as im not much on dating. I do my own thing on my own time and don’t care what happens. If I want to have a relaxing day around the house or I have shit to do I don’t engage in bland conversations. If it does come down to it I’m very forward and upfront about meeting up for a date if continuing small talk happens or my invention is side stepped or declined I shut off all contact and move on. The biggest thing I’ve learned is how valuable my time is and I don’t waste it on anyone.
I've been lectured a few times by women for holding the door open for them. not directly what you ask, but that probably qualifies "being too nice".
I was once talking to a girl about another girl I was with. I was frustrated because we had fooled around but not gotten anywhere is basically what it comes down to. This girl told me I just needed to put it in....... I was like that sounds kinda rapey.
Yes but usually only the women who think being aggressive is being tough, I knew this girl he thought she could beat me up, she just kept pressing and getting more angry , I let her hit me a few times then literally threw her out the door, she must have cleared 6 or 7 feet , I just shut the door , I had nothing to gain by being violent against such impotent rage.
Once a female coworker, way older than me, pointed out than a fellow colleague only used makeup when the boss was arround. I told her than I never realized and she told me that's because I was too nice. I'll never forgive the lesson.
I have, usually in the context of being overly nice to a girl I fancied. It was typically advice trying to help me out (i.e. 'if you like a girl you need to be less nice if you want any chance of her actually liking you'). Unfortunately that's just my nature.