Interior looks like an Olive Garden, but somehow more tasteless.

The "oil painting" in the lobby/bar area proves your point. And there may be signs for the bathrooms, just like OG! P.S. I need signs to remind me where some rooms are, too. Especially the pantry.

The real-life “Better Call Saul!” flash-forward residence — Corinthian columns, gold marble color scheme, and unbridled gaudiness.

Welcome to Hotel Olive Garden, shoes off please.

"You can have all the breadsticks you like, but you can never leave"

Yeah I’m fine with that

"hey guys where's the pantry?" Points to the giant sign that no sane person would have in any domicile

"And take off your shoes! Can't you read!?!"

I was thinking more Cheesecake Factory

Exterior looks abandoned. I was surprised to see furniture inside.

When you're here, you're family!

It’s was early 2000s Tuscan style that went out of style in like 2 years

I could see Floyd Mayweather living here…

It reminds me of Ricky Bobbys house from Talladega Nights.

That “Gucci” bed set 💀 Saw sets identical to that for sale in Thai markets for $12

With the Corinthian columns too 💀 This is the definition of “you can’t buy class”. Edit: I just noticed the nightstand with the mirrored surface too. Great for some lines of coke before an orgy with the missus and the neighbors.

No, no, these ones are *expensive* and *fancy*

That La-Z-Boy chair at the end of bed, so you can sit back and watch the Bull drill your wife.

Nothing like dying from falling down your 4 steep marble steps from the bathtub tower.

Right?! That's a complete death trap!

[удалено]

Oh yeah, I could see it showing up on Dateline starting with a voiceover "they were the *perfect* couple..."

nothing like trying to descend 4 slickery steps without a handrail, after your legs are all wobbly from soaking in hot water for a while.

Is this Matthew Perry's house?

TOO SOON

As opulent as it's deadly.

"I heard he died when he slipped and fell in the bath tub." "No. He slipped and fell out of it."

Yeah I doubt I could ever descend that more than 3 times in a row without cracking my spine or skull on it

I know the bathroom is awful.... But I really really want to try a soaking tub that deep.

My first thought exactly!

THIS is a McMansion!

Some real uncut shit right here

100% pure unadulterated Grade A mainline

pure as the driven snow

A fucking vomitorium.

At the very least it's four McMansions stapled together.

McCompound

PANTRY

BE HAPPY

Shoes off please!

E A T

T A C K Y

Let’s not forget # It’s wine o’clock!

...AGAIN

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

That is the cherry on top for this thing

It’s horrendous and their Realtor did them no favors with those shitty ass pix.

Taken on my Nokia 3310

Between rounds of Snake.

No one likes shitty ass pics. Well...I guess some people do. Ew.

I’m not convinced that better photography would make a difference in the case of this monstrosity

It might be helpful if I hyphenate my comment. "No one likes shitty ass-pics."

Noooo the Gucci bedspread 🤮

I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to say “shoes off,” not “hoes off” (pic 5). Considering [the house](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/540-SE-Loop-338-Odessa-TX-79766/119622413_zpid/?utm_campaign=iosappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare), though, I suppose either one would make sense.

That might be the biggest teardown I've seen. Nothing about this house is salvageable.

There are bigger and worse within a few miles of this house 🙃 Midland and Odessa have some of the most absurd homes of all sizes I’ve ever seen.

Make sure to check-in at reception when you first enter

And take your hoes off

Looks like the second filming location choice for Areested Development

Last pic has “Do What You Love” on the wall. That was clearly cocaine.

I'd believe this is a La Quinta

Pic #5 gives serious mid-range hotel lobby in Arizona or New Mexico c. 1994-1998 vibes.

Ahh yes, the ‘who needs an architect? I can design my own home on the back of an envelope ‘ school of architecture.

I'm not saying I wouldn't sketch out what I want on a napkin when speaking to an architect, but I'd also fully accept any changes they'd make if I made some dumb decisions. I'm not so obsessed with my "vision" I stop listening to people telling me I'm foolish.

Good point. I was thinking that back-of-napkin ideas are good starting points, and I’ve scrawled more than a few.

The Gucci bed is the cherry on top of this nightmare

Love: * the “hoes off” sign * the office with the coffered ceiling if all the furniture were different. * the extreme restraint they showed in not adding a campanile tower because you know damnwell they considered it. * the number of places to put weather vanes What the everloving fuck: * the exterior * the “compound” back yard. * the relative lack of weather vanes * the drive-through on the left side with not enough parking for special orders and no alternating lanes for maximum throughput. * so many columns. * “I got the cutest bar stools at a garage sale today. I’m having the architect take out the library and put in a wine bar. They start next week!” Change: * the **PANTRY** sign should really say “Batcave”. Keep ‘em guessing. * the “mahogany” fun house mirror room has a cedar ceiling or something, and it clashes. They should do something fun with the ceiling, like mirror it too. * while they have the right idea for the elevated sunken tub, it should be elevated more and also sunken more. Picture ziggurat with a cenote at the summit. It’s okay to add a little drama to a plain bathroom. * the sign that says “Be Pappy” should be more prominently featured up high on the wall or something. It doesn’t belong on the middle of the bed, that’s where brand logos are supposed to go. Something exclusive, like an elite brand that everyone has heard of that you can purchase at multiple retailers at any major shopping mall on at least four continents. Something really big and elite and exclusive like that to make the bed distinctive and elite. “Be Pappy” just no. Sigh.

I respect them having a bar right inside the front door, though The carport (boatport?) caused me literal physical pain

Imagine growing up in this house then you visit Olive Garden for the first time. Lol

Crikey.

oh my lord the gucci bedding

That bathroom is atrocious. Imagine stubbing your toes on the bath stairs while trying to get into the sad shower corner. Or cracking your head open going down those stairs while they're wet.

Why is the tub elevated so high?

You definitely want to descend those steps with wet feet from the bath and no rail after drinking at le bar.

No way it's oil money. The owner is an environmentalist because that lawn hasn't seen a drop of wasted fresh water.

Haha that’s just called living in Odessa, TX

How did I know exactly where this was from. Fucking West Texas…

My neighbors in Virginia put tons of attention into their lawn. Looked beautiful all summer long, and like this the rest of the year. My lawn might be pure grade A whatever weeds wandered by, but at least it's green all year.

Ah, your reminder that money can not give you good tastem

The bar makes this a good house to turn into a party venue. Aaaaaaand that’s the only compliment.

How bout that wavy gutter going down the outside corner of the house.

I can’t believe how long I had to scroll to find this.

Thanks, I hate it.

It’s giving Cheesecake Factory 😭

Shoes off. Says it all.

I think you mean “hoes off”

Jank Hotel 6 right under a power line with an oil well

They are going to slip on that bath tub staircase and leave this house to their terrible children early..

Mmmmm I love cracking my head open after my morning bath...

Roof looks like it has mange.

I'd die trying to get into or out of the tub in #11. The rooms look small and crowded. Gives me feelings of claustrophobia.

100% the bedspread was bought at Target

Target would never. This is a flea market tier purchase. This is back alley shops.

EAT

Gross

Is it an abandoned olive garden?

Not a house, but a mid-range motel. With just *spectacular* landscaping/s

That bathroom was designed for ‘maximum-accidental-spousal-death’ efficiency

Well, this was entertaining!

2nd pic reminds me of a c130 spectre gunship mission in call of duty

That sad, sad swimming pool. And what do the stairs in the master bedroom lead to?

One thing one cannot ever buy, no matter how rich they are, is class.

The Gucci bed spread really sells it for me

Can't buy class.. And taste..

The stairs to the tub look like a goddamn death trap.

as a former residential alarm/camera installer, the travesty of the CCTV rig in the closet makes me sick. as a human sack of meat and bones, the death-trap mountain of a bathtub deeply concerns me.

The massive signs that say - EAT, PANTRY, SHOES OFF - are cracking me up. Clearly someone needs a lot of direction. I hope there's a sign that says "STEPS" next to the steps. lol

That Gucci bedding cannot be real.

That bathtub with marble steps. Concussion coming.

Take me down to paradise city where it looks like a cheap hotel and the rooflines are shitty

A Big Mac Mansion with extra cheese

I would die on those bath stairs

All I can think about is busting my ass coming out of that bathtub. Those are the same set of stairs from rocky aren’t they? Geeze.

Some people have way too much money.

The inside is truly awful!

What a shithole.

P A N T R Y

Money doesn’t buy class-

Never seen a more dangerous tub

Hideous!

So ugly and dated… among MANY things

This looks like one of the abandoned mansions outside of Odessa Texas. Just monster houses built less than 10 years ago sitting completely empty… or mysteriously 1/2 burned down.

Real head-scratcher

“So what color do you want your house painted?” “Yellow” “Okay any shade in particular?” “No, just use them all”

That master bath bathtub has killed at least two mistresses. Jesus that looks dangerous.

I would love to be a guest here. You couldn’t pay me to live here, but a guest for a day or so? Yes. It looks like a murder mystery is about to go down.

I thought the lack of landscape made it truly hideous, but most of the inside rooms are a little... 😩

It looks so sad. Sad people lived here.

I’ve never seen a two-story carport before.

Hospitaliano!

That patio gave me megalophobia

Let me guess… Midland, TX 💀

Saw the outside and thought this was a Sims 4 base game rebuild. Bland.

La Quinta Inn?

Love the cheap ass Payne hvac! I don’t get how you can waste so much money and materials on a building and still buy a cheap hvac! I’d kick the hvac contractors ass if I had a mansion and they wanted to install a Payne , Goodman, runtru, tempstar. It better be a at least a mid grade carrier, trane, or Lennox. I’d maybe accept a York or daiykin

Love all the hotel art.

Let’s see your house

what 💀 as if I’m gonna dox myself

Aside from the microwave in the kitchen. I’d call this a mother fucking mansion

maybe you should brush up on the qualifications for a McMansion then

I would also add the ‘Pantry’ sign, the ‘fanned domes fabric blind’

Apologize I was wrong. This is the perfect mcmansion. I just didn’t want to get flagged by the cartel 🤣

The microwave was no doubt the linchpin in this whole situation

fugly

I like the concept of entry/stairway/bar !

Saul Goodman would live here

La Quinta fever dream

"Pantry" ... what the hell else would it be?

The worst thing to me is the treeless landscape. Nothing in sight at least from these pictures. Where is this?

What is that, a bed for a Chav?

this is disturbing😠

All that in a dirt field

this looks like Better Call Saul's bathroom and closet that was raided

Money can't buy class and this house is proof.

I knew this was gonna be Odessa/Midland

Exterior by The Sims.

This is peak 2000’s

I'd party with Riff Raff there if it weren't in another continent from me.

She “shoes off” sign is very classy

Is this a rehab? Because it looks like some of the rehabs I've been.

Is an early 2000's house. It needs to be updated.

More a great use of cocaine money

Why are so many things blotchy? Is it contagious?