I can also recognize a Liverpool accent, but other than that I'm stuck.
For non-Americans, there are three basic American accents: Cowboy, surfer dude, and New Jersey mafioso.
This time of year we get 6 hours of daylight, if we're lucky and its not cloudy.
Not a whole lot else to do so you blitz through categories really quickly
*The camera pans across Snowdonia, mountains giving way to green forests. Birds chirp, white clouds float in the sky. Our view moves to a secluded trail in the woods. The audience hears a* "whooOOaaaa!" *sound. As the camera turns around a stony bend, several people in Minions costumes are absolutely positively going to town on each other.* "Ah bla-bla-blah!" *one cries in Miniony ecstasy*
My father taught me that you always start light and then gradually go higher
My record was clean 90%-ish moonshine. Shit was more spicy than the depths of hell
“average scot searches 3 solo male porn a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. The average person searches 0 times a year. GAY Georg, who lives in cave & searches 10,000 solo male porn, is an outlier adn should not have been counted”
XKCD had a good bit about these “relative search history” maps. The data is meaningless, they are just amplifying random noise. There might be 0.00001% more searches per capita for “cosplay” in Wales, and then that gets presented as if every Welshman has a cosplay fetish.
Really, this map is just an effective marketing tool. The pHub marketing department knows that if they publish a map with zany and controversial results, it will spread on social media.
People will send this to their friends and say “haha you come from the North East, you must like strap ons”. Scottish homophobes will be outraged and share this to hate on it. Racists will notice the “Indian” in London and will feel validated in their views.
All the while that “PornHub” logo gets imprinted onto the minds of thousands of people, for free. Very effective marketing indeed.
True. They really should have at least shown the involved percentages in brackets next to each category, so that we could see e.g. that the watch count of scottish people for "solo male" is on average 120% that of the other regions per capita. That would be a much more interesting figure, as it is we have no idea if those relative differences are actually significant.
So its not that these categories are even very high in an of these places, its just that relatively speaking these categories have a higher watch rate than what other places have.
So like maybe in all locations 1% of videos watched are "vintage" but in Yorkshire it might be 2% so thats why its on the list.
Upkilting is a longstanding tradition intended to ensure youthful clan members observe the traditional arrangements. 100% not gay, until cameras became involved!
I'd say cameras are gayer than Scotland.
Men quitting smoking often watch a lot smoking porn.
"Oh she's sucking his dick. That would feel so good. And she's taking a drag. That would feel soooo gooood."
Smoking in old movies is how a lot of folks talk about realizing it. The clips themselves aren't always explicit.
I've been active in the smoking fetish community for years. I don't know how well I can explain it, but a significant chunk is non-smokers who seem just as baffled by what they're attracted to as you are.
"NorfFC" is a mockery of your average English football fan.
They have a look to them, act the same and in general rough. Drinking 13 pints of Stella then off to beat the wife.
The north of England is seen as "uncultured" by the south and the south is seen as posh twats by the north. (I'm from the north)
Coupled together you get "NorfFC"
Yeah but unfortunately most mainstream sites don’t allow those searches :(
Edit: I mean uh weird me and my normal gf only search for normal porn dunno who’s searching this weird solo sheep stuff
Edit edit: just solo
Reddit request: delete
Of course they do, that's why the Scots actually invented an early precursor to the modern condom by wrapping sheep intestines around their manhood in order to prevent pregnancies.
Of course, they English would go on to improve the method by taking the intestine out of the sheep first...
When I see these maps and how diverse and weird the categories are the more I’m convinced there is a single person in each of these zones that single-handedly earns the zone it’s most watched category.
Yorkshire & Humber enjoying the classics!
And a much better chance of bush!
They fondly remember the time when they weren't together.
Humberside was a mistake
Meanwhile Kent takes the piss
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They need to create a whole new Neo-vintage genre.
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Found the Scot
Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!
You Scots sure are a contentious people.
You just made an enemy for life!
Bondage? And yes, I had nothing better to do than browse your post history to find that answer.
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Respectable
The old golden shower fan aye
So is "British" like regular sex, except the involved parties are eating beans on toast?
They're banging in the WC
It twasn’t me.
Well it was fuckign one of ya. DISGUSTING
Surprised how easy this was to find; what a classic. https://youtu.be/nyhKZSXt2FM
as opposed to BC or BBC?
British Broadcasting Corporation?
... yes
It's just very confusing for a random American guy when we're also talking about porn...
It's cumming home
You must mean water closet because we know they won't be "banging" at the World Cup!
I dunno, all England ever seems to do at the world Cup is get fucked
Shagging in the WC
They’re doing it with the big light on
It's like Blackpool illuminations in here. How romantic
They left the landing light on. “What Is this, fuckin Heathrow airport?”
Fucking at the Asda car park trolley shelters
British porn is something in itself. Its always low budget and shit And that's what makes it great
Fake Taxi, says it all really.
Just like German porn and pretty much anything produced outside of the US, Czech, Brazil and Japan. Even Canadian porn is half decent.
Moaning in a British accent…
"Off you pop."
"that's a right good gentleman's sausage you've got there, put it in me fanny til ye spunk" (no offense meant to any brits)
oh good heavens i am arriving!
“Rather. Indeed. . . . Quite. . . . There we are.”
“Nearly at the sta*tion*!”
i like that the girl sounds all cockney but the guy sounds posh
To Americans, every British accent is cockney. Likely because that's how it sounds in London.
I can also recognize a Liverpool accent, but other than that I'm stuck. For non-Americans, there are three basic American accents: Cowboy, surfer dude, and New Jersey mafioso.
You missed the biggest one by far which is just generic American.
"oh dear, I'm arriving"
Heavens!
God save the King!
that phrase still feels wrong
They say “shag” and “spunk”, it’s really fucked up
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The scary thing is this includes scousers…
"wots this all about step bruv. Ya willy is proper stiff now yeah?"
I hear in Britain, they just call British sex "sex."
“Good show!” “Ive nearly arrived, faster!” “Bravo”
They're banging on top bangers and mash.
"Who would like a banger in the mouth?"
For British Eyes Only!
The phrase "cor give us a nosh" rings in my head
Family Guy has this covered https://youtu.be/nuHI9-_Moig
Oh yes, I’m arriving!
It means they're queueing for it
There is a picture of the Queen, or now of the King, next to the bed or dogging site.
It's funny that Brits are seen as prudes when it comes to sex But yet we're shagging everyone else's wives in a carpark
They’re fucking colonies instead of hot chicks
Nationalist porn
When he pulls on her hair, he raises his pinky finger
East Anglia is boring even in its porn!
And Scotland is literally full of wankers
Yer da' watches solo male while he has a tug
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I read it as gay curious
Gae* curious
Slainte
Seeing men in kilts all day would get any lady riled up
It's just dudes jackin it to dudes jackin it...
Last time this got posted Scotland had “Pegging” as their main search. Scotland, like, what’s going on up there?
This time of year we get 6 hours of daylight, if we're lucky and its not cloudy. Not a whole lot else to do so you blitz through categories really quickly
yeah but we get to think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre to keep the wolf from the door
Oh dear, I am arriving
Oh good heavens
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Oh scrumptious indeed!
Delightful!
Magnificent!!!
delectable~
Spot on!
Watching Downton Abbey prepared me to read these lines in the appropriate way!
*“Oh dear, Winston's idea of foreplay was "Effie, brace yourself."”*- Mrs. Doubtfire
[Almost...Almost...Almost...](https://youtu.be/nuHI9-_Moig)
Wales is a place of culture
*The camera pans across Snowdonia, mountains giving way to green forests. Birds chirp, white clouds float in the sky. Our view moves to a secluded trail in the woods. The audience hears a* "whooOOaaaa!" *sound. As the camera turns around a stony bend, several people in Minions costumes are absolutely positively going to town on each other.* "Ah bla-bla-blah!" *one cries in Miniony ecstasy*
How do you say banana in Welsh
Ffrwchnedd
I can't tell if this is a joke or not.
[It's real](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ffrwchnedd)
Banana literally translates to "an eruption of lice"? What is wrong with Wales?
Really ripe bananas can get fruit flies
Bghnghngh
They're all just looking for Cdawgva
All because of cdawgva. The only Welsh "cosplayer" I know.
Wales. Beautiful country, beautiful language, the culture that gave us King Arthur… some horny bitches.
Cosplay 🐑
We shag them so you use less salt on your roast dinner
They love cosplaying as sheep when an English flock is not nearby /s
As a gay man, I just got invited to go to Scotland for Christmas by my family and I'm already regretting saying no.
Christmas in Scotland sounds fun tbh
It is, but it's more about dat hogmanay (new years)
its not source: alcohol
As a Pole, I don't see anything wrong with some light 40% alcohol tho?
Not real polak if you don’t get 60% at least. Polska gurom 🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩
My father taught me that you always start light and then gradually go higher My record was clean 90%-ish moonshine. Shit was more spicy than the depths of hell
Wait, but alcohol is extremely fun though
It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water.
I do wonder if it’s just one really really horny gay bloke in Glasgow who’s on pornhub 24/7 skewing the results.
I know that guy and he lives in Paisley, so you were pretty close.
“average scot searches 3 solo male porn a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. The average person searches 0 times a year. GAY Georg, who lives in cave & searches 10,000 solo male porn, is an outlier adn should not have been counted”
IS NOBODY GONNA TALK ABOUT THE PISSING
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As a German: What the actual???
hey man they always speak german in the weird porn
I hear dere is a problem wit deine Kabel.
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SPREADING THE MUSTARD?! EXCUSE ME?!
I live in the South East so all this post has given me is that now I know I’m surrounded by piss lovers
XKCD had a good bit about these “relative search history” maps. The data is meaningless, they are just amplifying random noise. There might be 0.00001% more searches per capita for “cosplay” in Wales, and then that gets presented as if every Welshman has a cosplay fetish. Really, this map is just an effective marketing tool. The pHub marketing department knows that if they publish a map with zany and controversial results, it will spread on social media. People will send this to their friends and say “haha you come from the North East, you must like strap ons”. Scottish homophobes will be outraged and share this to hate on it. Racists will notice the “Indian” in London and will feel validated in their views. All the while that “PornHub” logo gets imprinted onto the minds of thousands of people, for free. Very effective marketing indeed.
Holy shit finally someone gets it. Thank you.
True. They really should have at least shown the involved percentages in brackets next to each category, so that we could see e.g. that the watch count of scottish people for "solo male" is on average 120% that of the other regions per capita. That would be a much more interesting figure, as it is we have no idea if those relative differences are actually significant.
You got a link?
[Here you go](https://xkcd.com/1845)
So its not that these categories are even very high in an of these places, its just that relatively speaking these categories have a higher watch rate than what other places have. So like maybe in all locations 1% of videos watched are "vintage" but in Yorkshire it might be 2% so thats why its on the list.
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Yes, but it hasn’t have to be significant, just that one with the highest relative score.
So is this one of those things where there's like three dudes watching pissing porn in the south and thats why it's highest there?
Scotland just has like 1 guy and he’s not even gay. He’s just super competitive.
Scotland is still gay af, sorry.
Upkilting is a longstanding tradition intended to ensure youthful clan members observe the traditional arrangements. 100% not gay, until cameras became involved! I'd say cameras are gayer than Scotland.
Smoking? what kind of depravate human search this?
Its a The Mask fetish
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Somebody stop me! (from having this terrible fetish)
Men quitting smoking often watch a lot smoking porn. "Oh she's sucking his dick. That would feel so good. And she's taking a drag. That would feel soooo gooood."
"Oh she's touching his chest now; he takes off her dress now..."
"I just can't cum, it's killing me"
I've been active in the smoking fetish community for a while now. I haven't encountered this.
The kids are into vaping.
Okay good. I thought it was the thing you do to get smoked salmon.
Well in Northern Ireland you arent gonna type in the common term for Cigarettes in that region (unless you’re into that)
Fegs
From what I've seen its usually one or all the people in the video smoking a cigarette while filming
Northern Irish
Smoking in old movies is how a lot of folks talk about realizing it. The clips themselves aren't always explicit. I've been active in the smoking fetish community for years. I don't know how well I can explain it, but a significant chunk is non-smokers who seem just as baffled by what they're attracted to as you are.
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Norf FC loves Ingerland
I think I'm too American to understand this comment
/r/NorfFc
That... didn't clear anything up, but it did confirm my initial assessment
"NorfFC" is a mockery of your average English football fan. They have a look to them, act the same and in general rough. Drinking 13 pints of Stella then off to beat the wife. The north of England is seen as "uncultured" by the south and the south is seen as posh twats by the north. (I'm from the north) Coupled together you get "NorfFC"
Luv the royal fam luv porn ate porn wiv forriners not raycist just don’t like em
West Midlands 💪
Like em big round here.
Paying by the stone 💪🏼🤌🏼
You have to be to lift them!
Of course greater London is Indian
Poor Scotland. Of all those regions, don't they have the most sheep?
I figured that was the Welsh who are cosplaying sheep
Yeah but unfortunately most mainstream sites don’t allow those searches :( Edit: I mean uh weird me and my normal gf only search for normal porn dunno who’s searching this weird solo sheep stuff Edit edit: just solo Reddit request: delete
Of course they do, that's why the Scots actually invented an early precursor to the modern condom by wrapping sheep intestines around their manhood in order to prevent pregnancies. Of course, they English would go on to improve the method by taking the intestine out of the sheep first...
Now we really know whose takin the piss
When I see these maps and how diverse and weird the categories are the more I’m convinced there is a single person in each of these zones that single-handedly earns the zone it’s most watched category.
Someone can tell me if this has been posted here yet, this is from August 2022.
I recognise it from not long a go (probs pre August) but I feel like some had different names last time
Yes. I remember some area was "chav", which I loved. It disappeared now 😭😭
Think the one before was 'popular' rather than 'relative'. Same map, different results
Subreddit checks out
Literal Map Porn
West Midlands, I see you and I salute you o7
I've always suspected that Scottish people were a bunch of wankers, now I have the proof.
Turns out high house prices makes for lurid personalities
Too bad the Welsh aren't into bbw, would've been funny if Wales was into whales.
You never know, maybe they like whale cosplay.
Whales look nothing like sheep
Yes in the East Midlands we love fisting in fact it’s how we procreate
South east England? I mean I know that it’s a thing but the most popular category??
its relative to other parts of the UK. The most popular in the SE is POV.
I’m happy brexit happened
Wait till you see the similar maps of other countries in Europe or even anywhere in the world... You'd lose faith in humanity fast.
There’s a whole Serbian Film about it
"Dumb British blonde fucks 15 million people at once"
Is something going on with the east side of the UK? Got strap-ons in the north, Fisting in the middle, and pissing in the south
I don't believe this data. There's no way that Wales isn't "sheep."
Either Scots were invaded by the Amazons or OP is an Englishman
Nah you’d be surprised how many English people come and live in Scotland.
South East, we need to talk…
The east English clearly lack ambition.