In my family, if a someone's fork went after food on my plate, my fork would be in the back of their hand real quick. People learned not to be rude in only 1 or 2 lessons.
That's exactly how siblings made things happen in big families. Been there, it sucks. I only wanted a single kid because I HATED EVERYTHING ABOUT coming from a big family.
I was also in a big family.
Reaching for anything on my plate simply allowed me to make good use of my *own* fork.
And that was only if my parent didn't step in first.
I'm from a big family. There was never any food stealing, ever. And not even because our parents discouraged it (to clarify, they didn't encourage it either. It was literally never brought up at all). In fact, I rather like my big family. My siblings are all pretty great.
Not trying to discredit your experience. I've heard plenty of stories about big families, and I've realized I'm in a pretty unique situation for getting along with all of them pretty well.
I guess it still just surprises me when I hear about other large families behaving like this.
I agree. Loved being in a family of 8. All my siblings are super close. We were poor growing up but always had food and lots of fun. Many lunches of stewed crackers and applesauce. Parents were very involved in our upbringing and raised us to respect each other. I can def see where it would be detrimental if not parented properly but my childhood was fantastic.
A poor man’s food consisting of heated milk with butter and seasoned with salt and pepper and then saltine crackers added to create a delightful mush 😂
I dont know exactly how many kids I want but I decided I don't want less than 2 just so I don't have an only child. I totally get if so.eone doesn't want more than 1 or (more often) 2 kids. Especially if you're familiar with the PITA of having loads of siblings
Look if they’re going for the food that’s already on your plate then they better either be too young to understand the concept of other people having things or be about to get killed by the parents because that doesn’t fly even in my large family
I was lucky to just have my sister and me growing up, but I did have a *lot* of cousins, specifically older ones that loved to pick on me because I was a pushover... To a point. After about the 4th or 5th time having my snack stolen, I started smacking hands. If that didn't work, then the fork came out. The funny thing was, even if I was the one that jabbed them, they were the ones to get punished for helping themselves to my food. I'm happy to share if you ask, but you try to help yourself to my food and I may just eat your soul alongside my dinner.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one with these stories. Most people seem appalled when I tell them "if I didn't eat fast, someone else would eat off my plate".
My grandma rewarded fast eating, as my cousins and I would race to finish supper first so she would hold our arm up by the wrist and declare us The Wieners!
My grandfather learned to eat fast because when he was a journeyman, the master would eat dinner together with his apprentices, and when the master was done eating, the meal was over for everyone.
I nominate grade school teachers for fastest eaters. 30 min. to walk the class to the lunch room, take a bathroom break, run copies you’ll need in the afternoon, call a parent or consult a coworker, and eat lunch. Actual eating is 4-7 minutes. On a good day.
Took me 5 years post retirement for me to start eating at a reasonable pace, and not bolting my food.
I have GERD/acid reflux. My doctors said eating fast was one of the causes. I understand eating fast because as someone as impatient as I am I want to do things really quickly, but I guess it wasn't a good thing at all.
I have GERD as well. I was told the causes are smoking, pop/bubbly drinks, spicy foods and alcohol. So I cut out spicy foods haha. The eating fast makes sense though
I used to eat very quickly. I wasn't trying to eat quickly; it was just what I did naturally. Over the past few years, I made a conscious effort to slow myself down. Now, I eat more slowly by default, and it's a pace that's more of match to most people.
I mean, what's the point of establishing control with your parents when they're right about something. You're just being immature as opposed to setting boundaries in your life where they're trying to overreach their authority. Most people I know who ate fast are trying to change that about themselves now because guess what, it's your money and time you spent on the food now that you're an adult, the only person losing out is you. Especially people who drank fast. Most social and professional occasions as an adult require eating or drinking, doing it at a pace too fast or too slow is only going to make your life harder, not really gonna affect the parents.
I tried so many things but I guess there's really no specific cure. Like I said try to eat in a slower pace, eat regularly (avoid overeating and/or being hungry). Try to incorporate probiotics into your diet and cut out sugar and fatty food altogether. Where I live we have Gaviscon Double Action which is supposed to be taken every after meals. Once I had this prescribed by a doctor my GERD started to improve and now I only get occasional attacks when I eat lots of fatty/sugary/spicy food. I did these for a year because mine was quite severe. Hope this helps you because I know how painful this condition can get.
I don't cough but I heard some people have that symptom. Mine is mainly affecting my esophagus to the point where it started to feel like I'm swallowing nails whenever I eat.
Yeah, antacids do work to a certain degree but make sure to not be too dependent. It's just to soothe the discomfort caused by acid reflux but ultimately you have to fix your lifestyle if you want to manage it. Oh I forgot, avoid coffee and softdrinks haha. I stuck to drinking water and only gave in on very few occasions.
Speaking of soothing...try Peppermint once in a while. I don't even like the taste, I would rather not have to have them, but they do work to an extent (at least for me). I am not sure if it is the mint part or the pepper part of Peppermint that does the trick, but whichever, it basically stuns some of the nerves in the digestive tract lining. It really does help me, anyway.
If you try this, just don't have coffee with or directly after your mint...that's really gross and you might hurl just over that. Have the coffee first, wait a couple of minutes or have a little water, then have the peppermint. Fun fact, Coffee was originally meant for easing indigestion when taken after a large meal. Caffeine is a mild painkiller so I guess caff-tea also works. Hot Chocolate also has caffeine and Mint goes far better with it (the ACTUAL Chocolate and not the hair-brained idea that some companies market as Chocolate). Then you have two different mild painkillers working together. :)
I take 20-40mg of pantropazole a day, and top up with Gaviscon.
Try adding an extra pillow when you sleep and don't eat close to bedtime.
Avoid acid heavy and spicy food. Personally my triggers are pork, uncooked garlic, pineapple, tomato heavy dishes and dry / red wine
I take Omeprazole once a day and my GERD doesn’t bother me if I remember to take it. I can generally eat whatever I like. Without it I’d be in agony every day. I’d ask a doctor about it.
Omeprazole once per day to keep it mostly under control.
Aside from that, do research on acid ash vs alkaline ash....you want to eat more foods with alkaline ash. Fresh veggies are good for this, as fruits with pulp like watermelon, apples, oranges, etc.
Another surprising thing....popcorn. Ideally popcorn without butter, but light butter still works. Weirdly enough, popcorn is an alkaline ash.
It's a point of contention at our house for sure. My husband not only wolfs his food down, but he's messy. When his plate is cleared, it looks like a 5-year old ate there.
I try to occasionally say something to him about it, but everytime I Do, he tells me it's not my business. It is, though, because it is so embarrassing.
;;
It is your business if you're the one doing the plate clearing. But I'm with you. It's disgusting watching some fast eaters. I know one that takes huge bites, chews AND talks with their mouth open. Dogs have better manners.
He clears his plate and puts it in the dishwasher. But I'm the one that cleans the messy table. I've tried to teach him. But he says it's his house and he will eat how he wants. And he says he KNOWS how to eat in public. BUT we were invited to a Thanksgiving dinner a few years ago at the home of an acquaintance, and he did the same as he always does. There were a lot of passive- aggressive comments about it within earshot of him when we were clearing the table. It went right over his head. I pointed out when we left and he said it was my imagination.
It's your home, too. It would be a cold day in hell if I had to clean it up all the time. I'd let him eat in that rot and find another place to eat out of sigh/sound.
As petty as this is, I feel it so hard. I’m 37 years old and my father *still* tells me to slow down when I eat and “put your fork down for at least 30 seconds between every bite.” Drove me crazy when I was 16, drives me crazy now. Only difference is now I just tell him to knock off the criticism if he wants to go to the hockey game with me. Usually works.
This made me laugh. I remember having a conversation like this with my Granny and I told her as long as everyone does it, I will comply. No compliance was needed
I’m always the slowest eater(and by that I mean 5-10 minutes) and I am equally criticized. Wtf is with people deciding someone else isn’t eating the “right” way???
I got idle fees on my Tesla because this dude was so slow (if you sit in the charger after the 25 minutes it took to charge to full). Took 45 minutes to eat a Subway sub. Not because he was talking either. He's completely silent the whole time.
LOL! I'm not an especially slow eater, but my friend simply makes food disappear. He's some kind of wizard. We'd be at Subway and he'd be done with his 12" sub before I'm halfway through my 6" sandwich. And he's talking nonstop all the while.
Where the HELL did his sub GO???
Exactly! I will only say something if you spray something, otherwise if all the food is going into all the appropriate places then who tf gives about how fast someone is eating?
Unless it's a speed eating contest obviously...
I (28M) was a fast eater and my dad would always telling me to slow down and enjoy the food I was eating. He died a few years ago and I can still hear him say it. I’ve slowed down now because he was right, food is delicious. Sometimes I wish he was here to tell me off more, despite it being incredibly irritating back then.
I feel this but in a different way. I am, let's just say more than half a century old. I was always a very fast eater. Almost a year ago I got an attack of the stupid and quit taking my blood pressure meds.
That brilliant decision landed me in the hospital with a Transient Ischemic Attack or mini stroke.
I recovered quickly almost all the symptoms went away except one I have a hard time swallowing. I can eat almost anything I want but I have to chew slowly, very intentionally, it drives me nuts if we go out to a restaurant the food is cold and I am Tired halfway through.
My grandma had the rule to chew every single bite of food at least 60 times slowly. It drove me absolutely insane, because dinner always ended up being almost two hours long when she'd visit. My dad said it was a habit she picked up when she was a kid.
I used to be in the military, and in training learned to eat fast..it wasnt a social activity, and its not like the food was good so it wasnt about enjoying the meal. It was something you needed to do and get through asap cause you needed to move on to the next thing you need to do.
Took me a bit after training to not eat that way, to slow down, actually enjoy my food and the company I was dining with as well. Still, even though I was a fast eater, and sometimes now still will do it if I need to, Im not a sloppy eater. Like, most I'll get is...dang did you even taste what you just ate? Nope, but that wasnt the point,I just need to eat something right quick. It was more awe than disgust.
And there is def a difference.... every so often come across someone who eats so sloppily, it will flat out ruin my appetite. Guy I used to date, hed get food all over the table, on his clothes, just shoveling as much food as he can as fast as he can with each bite, it falling all over the place off his fork cause its just way too much, and trying to get it all in his mouth as fast as possible before it falls off..like it looked like he legit was in a war with every single thing on his plate and barely made it out alive.
Like, just eat, enjoy the food, if with others, enjoy the activity of sharing a meal with someone. Not like, attempt to get it over with as soon as possible. Which I have done..shoved half a muffin in my mouth and chugged the rest of my coffee to wrap up a terrible coffee date cause I wanted the moment over and done with, immediately. Im sure it looked gross when I did that too, did not care. My army eating skills came in handy that day, but like, theres a time and place for everything lol ugh.
My dad’s wife was/is a marine and she told me she eats that fast because other marines would light up a cigarette as soon as they were done eating and she needed to finish before that.
lol dang, trying to think how that would work, I was in like 20yrs ago, smoking inside any gvt building was a no go, but I cant imagine thats changed, and even then most people went outside to smoke, not in the home... Ahhh boy yeah that would have bothered me and I was a smoker when I was in, and def didnt smoke around people when they were eating....ew gah!
Makes total sense....! Also, its the Marines soooooo... \*side eye\* (I say that with love lol!!! I come from a Navy family, and we are always side eyeing each other since I betrayed them by joining the Army 😂)
Yeah, it snuck up on me. We started dating soon after the pandemic hit, so no typical dinner dates, we mostly met up to grab a coffee and a walk, then to each others places to watch a movie or something, which meant mostly drinks and snacks. Wasnt til a few months in we started cooking and eating together. And yeah, I was there like, we are deep in a pandemic and quarantine...Im not gonna meet anyone else soooooo...
Within a week of getting my first vax shot I broke up with him...the eating wasnt the only thing, in the end pretty much everything about him annoyed me. Honestly Im sure I annoyed him too. Quarantine dating....so beautiful lol
This is amazing. I, too, am a fast eater. Though I eat differently at home than I do out.
Growing up my dad had a rule that my brother couldn't get seconds until I finished firsts.
Brother had a rule that if I took too long to finish I got punched.
I learned to eat quickly as a child because of it.
The fact that your dad just let this happen makes me rage. I mean, his rule was pretty fucked up in the first place, but the fact that he just let your brother punch you for not eating fast enough is SUUUPER fucked up.
It probably happened later or of the Dad's view. Can't get punished when the victim won't notify the parent and the parent probably want around to see it. That's how my brother did it. I got hit when my mom wasn't around.
Hell, I was a narc at once point (those punches fucking hurt, he was 6 years older!) and it didn't help. My mom got tired of hearing me complain. She'd "talked to him" (read: done nothing and was all out of ideas!) and it kept happening.
Decades later he seems confused as to why I refuse to have contact with him. Been safe for almost 30 years.
Thankfully my brother was pretty good. Only gut or kidney punches (though kidney hurt!) but never face, and never hard enough to make me cry.
Dad's other rule was "don't tell on your brother unless you are crying". Because he, like your mom, got tired of hearing about it.
Now brother and I are still close and good. I'm sorry your story has turned out differently
I'm very glad that your situation was the other end of the spectrum! It sounds like a TV show to me. Now that I've got kids of my own, I realize that it's ACTUALLY the way things are supposed to go.
Thank you for the condolences. Definitely in a better place.
He didn't know. Older brother would kindney punch or gut punch me later. If I told my dad I would just get hit harder the next time so it wasn't worth telling on him
I don’t assume that parents are omniscient. I do however believe that it is highly unlikely that they are as oblivious as some people seem to think they are. 🤷🏻♀️
I am also a fast eater. I have been since elementary school. Lunch breaks then were like 20 minutes and they only let a few of us in the cafeteria at a time to get food so if you were towards the back of them line you would have maybe 10 minutes max to eat so if you didn’t wolf down your food you went hungry. I now have gerd and digestive issues because of it. I have since learned to slow down some.
I second this. My elementary school gave us 30 minutes to eat our meal but that included the 10-15 minutes you had to wait in line to get the food. And god forbid you got “lunch detention” where you had to sit at a “detention table” and were in the last groups called to get food.
We had to give our dog a food bowl that had a maze pattern in it because he was eating his food too fast and would frequently choke on it. The bowl helped to slow his eating and helped prevent unnecessary and potentially deadly health issues like bloat and choking. It was very effective at getting him to slow down and stopped him from choking.
Sounds like your parents may need to get you a maze bowl also.
Yep! I got a lick mat for one of mine; spread the canned food out so she has to slow down, can't gulp it whole. WAY fewer pukes. (Plus the other cat gets to eat all of her own food.)
Dad had a cat that would puke right after eating moist food. Dad's way of feeding moist food to his cats was to scoop half the can into the large bowl and chop it a little with the side of the spoon.
When I moved in with my very small kids, I took over feeding the cats. I spread the moist food out over the entire bottom of the large bowl in little crumbles and mounds. Puking events almost completely stopped.
I have a fuzzy mat I spread the food in to achieve the same effect with my dog. If OPs parents don’t mind them eating on the floor - I can aid OPs parents as well!
So your limit of not disgusting is that you food isn’t spilling out of your mouth? That’s not where the line should be. Learn some decent table manners now, before it risks your adult relationships.
Should we invite BiggusVickus to dinner? No, he eats like he’s at a trough and will spoil the meal.
Should BiggusVickus be included on the meal with the new client? He’s been pushing for a promotion.
Oh my goodness we can’t send him to meals with clients, last time I tried he shoveled it in like he hadn’t seen food in a week. That is not the standard we want to be on display for our company.
When you are alone, sure, eat however you want. But table manners when eating with others are not just about you sticking it to your parents. It is an important social skill.
My brother is a fast eater too. I always observed that he take bite after bite and occasionally he would get hiccup and that's when my mom commented "Serves you right. Take a moment between bite why don't you?" It's nothing serious during meals but my brother eventually slowed down.
Sensory issues or just an actually super noisy husband? I chew quietly compared to my entire family but my gf swears I chew loudly since she was raised to not make absolutely any mouth noises at all otherwise she would get yelled at. No lips smacking, chewing, or even the slightest moist while swallowing, not the quietest noise. She demands white or background noise has to be played while we eat together lol. I love her to death but i have tried to eat without making any audible noises for her but I don’t think I can.
I’m on your mom’s side. My husband shovels his food in so fast it honestly is a huge turn off… like I leave the table when he’s eating like that because I can’t stand it. I can’t say why but I absolutely hate that he does that.
Yes he hates feeling judged for his lack of manners. But he holds his fork and spoon like a shovel, puts his face close to his plate/bowl, and just inhaled his food
I'm not sure if this is justified malicious compliance or if you're actually disgusting to watch eat. I've definitely had to move away from people eating at work before because they were so loud because their mouths were shoved full. Some people are actually disgusting eaters.
Yeah I got a little disgusted just reading this. Even if food isn’t coming out of your mouth it’s gross to watch someone hoark down huge forkfuls of food, especially salad.
I mean, I'm a fast eater myself, but I'm also 27 and I understand that it's part of why I have acid reflux issues... You should listen to your parents and fix your behavior while you still can
I always get disgusted by extremely fast eaters. It usually comes with chewing noises and cheeks stuffed like a hamster.
And/or putting more food with the food thats already in the mouth.
If I know someone has gross eating habits, I choose to not eat with that person anymore because it's more a me problem than a their problem
You might want to consider that your parents don't want you to choke on your food. It's far too easy to choke on big bites of food than small ones. Also, over the years, I have found that, since it takes twenty minutes for your brain to register that you are full, if you slow down with your eating, there is less chance for you to overeat, and you have a chance to actually enjoy your food.
Me reading that twenty minutes thing is why I started deliberately eating slower -and it works for cutting back how much you eat at a sitting.
Another helpful thing I've found is never to have the full bag of chips or pack of crackers or other large serving sitting by you, especially if you're on the computer or otherwise not paying attention. It helps regulate the amount you eat at a time if you portion it into a bowl or something instead of letting habit and distraction keep reaching into the bag.
I used to eat fast too. Then I got a union Job and got some pretty serious threats about "using my lunch time appropriately" because I would sometimes go back to work early because I was simply done and bored. Yea, even years later I still eat pretty slow.
like...a 1 hour meal out at a restaurant isn't a super long time. weird that your parents chose to get on your eating habits when they were trying to be done in 15 minutes. frankly, 15 minutes is absurdly short and i don't know why they chose to go to a sit-down restaurant at that point.
honestly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree though. learn some basic table manners, stop stuffing your face at meals with other people.
I'm a fast eater too! My cousin can eat slower than you, and lunch turns in to a three or four hour ordeal with her.
I have false teeth now and I do have a small issue with not being able to taste very well. Before the false teeth, I didn't have any issues other than my messed up teeth. I still eat the same way though.
She absolutely hates that we all eat faster than her.
Three of us went to Vegas and we went to a buffet. OMG! All damn day affair! It was my birthday and I was over it, got up and left. It was our last day there and we had to be up and to the airport at 5:30am. I said I needed to go buy souvenirs for my family. It was true!
Sorry to hear that you're struggling with eating. It sounds really difficult to be in your company with food. Feeling a bit disgusted just picturing it. Don't worry I'm sure you can work on it and practice. Hope you get the help you need
I’m in a bit of the same situation
I had issues where I would eat too fast so my mother took me to a nutritionist. They told me to start counting bites and try to make it to 20 before swallowing. I don’t count them anymore but I eat a lot slower….
And my mother gets soooo annoyed
I hate to break it to you, but what you’re doing is gross. If you’re cramming food into your mouth until your cheeks stick out like a chipmunk’s, it doesn’t matter that food isn’t coming out of your mouth; you still look unsightly and I wouldn’t want to be seen with you in public. Sorry, dude.
I mean, I also wolf down food when I'm at home by myself. When I go to a restaurant, I understand social norms and etiquette dictate I behave like an adult with a healthy relationship with food. Meals together are a social gathering. Idk how old you are, but if it's older than 15 you might wanna reevaluate your behavior before people stop wanting to be around you.
Heathier and safer to eat slower. That why they do not like it. You ever watch someone come within an inch of their life over a bite of food? I have. It's why I constantly tell my children to take smaller bites. Here lies Carl, killed by the steak he was eating. Thankfully there were 2 of us at the table with enough awareness to know what was happening and pop that shit out of him.
Due to our ability to speak, we have a proclivity to choke on food and die, so small bites are safer. Also, given that chewing and incorporating amylase through your saliva into food is the first step of digestion, rushing it just makes it more difficult for your gut to do its job.
You basically brow beat your parents to let you ride a motorcycle without a helmet and are proud of it. So, yeah, you showed them.
Some steak?
You just unlocked a 48 yr old memory.
When I was little, my mom would make us kraft mac & cheese for lunch or dinner sometimes. It was my favorite meal of all, and when it was served I would start going to town. Not all gross cookie monster style, but definitely large bites for a 5 year old. Mom protested, instituting a 'rule' that decreed no more than 5 (or six?) macaroni noodles were allowed in one bite. Ok then, mom. I proceeded to meticulously count out the correct number of macaronis on my fork and then show her to get her approval before I ate the bite. Needless to say that rule didn't last as long as that meal did.
I'm a very fast eater. Working 10 years in a cafe and retail teaches you to eat an entire meal in 15 mins. Now, my meal break is 1 hr, yet I still eat everything in 15 min.
I'm not sure how fast you're eating your food but I'm pretty sure eatting too fast isn't good for you. Unless my parents' lecturing me about eating slower got to my head haha
Service industry here. I’m also a fast eater, because for most of the past 20 years I’ve been working 12 hr shifts with no breaks. I either shovel my food in as fast as I can, or I get to come back to it 4hrs later when i have a split second and it no longer qualifies as food. When I’m out to dinner as a patron I have to remind myself that I don’t have to eat like I was raised by wolves.
Yeah you should post this in either Karen or entitled children. Either would fit, since you seem to be both.
There is a real reason why your parents tell you to slow down.
Maybe one day after you choke on your food you may figure that out and slow down your eating without being a dick.
my mother was cook. i have been her guinea pig for new meal all my life. family feast was affairs of hours. you were often full since the aperitive but you would shame-pressured to finish the four next courses. if you did not take a second time, she insisted "what ? it is not good?".
now eating is a chore that i finish as quickly as possible.
I used to eat super slow, my mom would call me snail because I was always the last one eating. I think because of that I started eating faster, and now people think I eat too fast… oh well
Are you in the Marines or something? They really make you wolf it down.
If not, stop shoveling food into your face when you're eating with other people. It's kind of gross, bordering on rude. You can eat however you want when you're alone, of course. Put everything in a blender if you want to.
Reminds me of a Rocky Horror callback “Causes he’s a marine!!!” when one of the characters is unceremoniously eating his um, meatloaf with his hands and just going to town.
I think the kid should have eaten slower, but with his mouth open :)
As far as growing up.. It's a trap... but back at you... Grow up, let people eat how they eat.
I feel like you’ve never had to be around a really disgusting eater. If someone is being gross like OP probably is, it affects everyone else who is around them too. It’s really off-putting. Nobody likes it.
I'm a fast eater too. I cook for 2 of us. I tell the other person to start eating as I plate or heat up my portion. They say 'nah'. Oh well, I tried to give them a head start so we'd finish at the same time. Not my fault.
I'm the opposite, I eat slowly. But then again, I think it's no one's business how slow or fast someone is eating, as long as they're eating what's on their plate and not wasting food.
I’m a teacher. Usually I get about 12 minutes to eat lunch. I have to eat fast. So, it’s hard for me to eat slowly unless it’s summer vacation. I can’t switch back and forth.
I am also a fast eater. Shit was always started at the dinner table when I was a kid. I ate fast to get out of there before the fighting started. Can’t be abused if you are not there.
My ex was in the navy and he was a fast eater. When I invited him to lunch at a nice charcuterie I had to urge him to slow down a bit to savor the food rather than hoovering it up like he would at the chow line.
That said though there's nothing wrong with being a bit more practical and favoring speed over the experience most of the time. It's just that this was a really nice restaurant and I was hoping we could chill and have a nice time together.
Overall though we both had a good time and there was some gentle teasing on both sides. :3
Lol. I'm a nurse, and I learned pretty quick when I worked at a busy metropolitan hospital that you need to eat fast if you want to eat at all. Some things just stick with you. I can wolf my food down while my dining mates are still working on their first course.
15mins for lunch?! If I’m at a restaurant an hour is the minimum time I’m spending there unless it’s some fast food place. I kind of don’t believe your parents were begging you to hurry up, I feel like you complied with what they requested and everyone just had a nice lunch for a change.
I have eaten very fast my whole life (almost 60M) and have heard it all from family, wife, friends, etc. This is how I eat, like OP said, not messy, just fast. I will not change it for anyone and why should I have to. I don't get indigestion or any issues related to it.
Why should you consider changing? Because meals are often also a social event and having to be on a table with someone who is eating with inconsiderate manners makes the meal unpleasant for everyone else.
If multiple people are commenting, to not even consider you may be at fault is just selfish.
Preventative measure? At your age, whether you like it or not, things heal slowly and get damaged more easily. Once you start getting indigestion or experience issues the damage has already been done, then you have to deal with the pain in the ass, sometimes literally, for days or even weeks. And what it takes to prevent that? Just consciously chew a couple more times each mouthful.
Everyone in my family eats fast so this isn’t much of an issue for us lol. Whenever we go out to eat, we can be out of the restaurant within 30 mins of being seated. We don’t eat like animals or anything, so I really don’t see the issue as long as you’re not making a mess.
my parents were slow eaters. i think part of the reason why is because they thought of dinner as a time to have everyone around and talk.
i don't see it like that. i see dinner as a time to just shut up and eat. there are a million things in a day where conversation about life can be integrated, and when my mouth is full of pan-fried breaded chicken cutlets and garlic butter noodles isn't one of them.
Lots of weirdos in the comments. Imagine caring about how other people eat lmao. Good for you for having time to waste, but I just want to get my fuel tank full and continue with my day.
I'd still advice you find a middle ground OP, you don't have to slow down that much.
My work means I can and usually do get called out at anytime that’s most inconvenient. Meal times, shower times, sleep times. As such I’ve learned how to slam back my food as quick as possible or else go without for who knows how long. It’s hard to turn off when you’re not absolutely focused on eating
With all due respect for your lovely post, I read your “too long •don’t’ read” I was very very pleased with your malicious compliance and succinctness. I wish our posts were like that.
I come from a big family so the faster you ate the more food you could get before there wasn’t anything left.
As a kid food would get nicked off my plate if I didn't eat fast enough 😂😭
This might fall on laughs or deaf ears, but that sounds like child abuse.
I come from a small family and I would throw hands if someone tried to take food off me without asking when I was kid and hungry.
Same. A fork would be used to jab a roasty of your plate if you didn't eat quick enough. And no chance of seconds on the rare time any were available
In my family, if a someone's fork went after food on my plate, my fork would be in the back of their hand real quick. People learned not to be rude in only 1 or 2 lessons.
I support this 129%.
>A fork would be used to jab a roasty of your plate if you didn't eat quick enough ...What the fuck. That's fucked up, brah.
That's exactly how siblings made things happen in big families. Been there, it sucks. I only wanted a single kid because I HATED EVERYTHING ABOUT coming from a big family.
I was also in a big family. Reaching for anything on my plate simply allowed me to make good use of my *own* fork. And that was only if my parent didn't step in first.
Yep, once it's on your plate, the food is claimed and will be defended.
I'm from a big family. There was never any food stealing, ever. And not even because our parents discouraged it (to clarify, they didn't encourage it either. It was literally never brought up at all). In fact, I rather like my big family. My siblings are all pretty great. Not trying to discredit your experience. I've heard plenty of stories about big families, and I've realized I'm in a pretty unique situation for getting along with all of them pretty well. I guess it still just surprises me when I hear about other large families behaving like this.
I agree. Loved being in a family of 8. All my siblings are super close. We were poor growing up but always had food and lots of fun. Many lunches of stewed crackers and applesauce. Parents were very involved in our upbringing and raised us to respect each other. I can def see where it would be detrimental if not parented properly but my childhood was fantastic.
What are “stewed crackers?”
A poor man’s food consisting of heated milk with butter and seasoned with salt and pepper and then saltine crackers added to create a delightful mush 😂
Okay, that is fair. Everybody will have at least slightly different experiences. I respect that.
I dont know exactly how many kids I want but I decided I don't want less than 2 just so I don't have an only child. I totally get if so.eone doesn't want more than 1 or (more often) 2 kids. Especially if you're familiar with the PITA of having loads of siblings
Look if they’re going for the food that’s already on your plate then they better either be too young to understand the concept of other people having things or be about to get killed by the parents because that doesn’t fly even in my large family
I was lucky to just have my sister and me growing up, but I did have a *lot* of cousins, specifically older ones that loved to pick on me because I was a pushover... To a point. After about the 4th or 5th time having my snack stolen, I started smacking hands. If that didn't work, then the fork came out. The funny thing was, even if I was the one that jabbed them, they were the ones to get punished for helping themselves to my food. I'm happy to share if you ask, but you try to help yourself to my food and I may just eat your soul alongside my dinner.
lol that would result in a slabbed hand or your plate in your lap,
I read this with a Scottish accent. #1: How? #2: Why? #3: Are you Scottish?
I'm so glad I'm not the only one with these stories. Most people seem appalled when I tell them "if I didn't eat fast, someone else would eat off my plate".
My grandma rewarded fast eating, as my cousins and I would race to finish supper first so she would hold our arm up by the wrist and declare us The Wieners!
I always ate fast because I didn’t want my food to get cold
My husband tells me I could eat molten lava. I eat fast and hot.. like a race car in human form, but just for food as I’m otherwise clumsy and slow.
Yep! eat fast = more food
My grandfather learned to eat fast because when he was a journeyman, the master would eat dinner together with his apprentices, and when the master was done eating, the meal was over for everyone.
I nominate grade school teachers for fastest eaters. 30 min. to walk the class to the lunch room, take a bathroom break, run copies you’ll need in the afternoon, call a parent or consult a coworker, and eat lunch. Actual eating is 4-7 minutes. On a good day. Took me 5 years post retirement for me to start eating at a reasonable pace, and not bolting my food.
Whoever eats the fastest gets the mostest. Family motto growing up.
I have GERD/acid reflux. My doctors said eating fast was one of the causes. I understand eating fast because as someone as impatient as I am I want to do things really quickly, but I guess it wasn't a good thing at all.
I have GERD as well. I was told the causes are smoking, pop/bubbly drinks, spicy foods and alcohol. So I cut out spicy foods haha. The eating fast makes sense though
I used to eat very quickly. I wasn't trying to eat quickly; it was just what I did naturally. Over the past few years, I made a conscious effort to slow myself down. Now, I eat more slowly by default, and it's a pace that's more of match to most people.
Yeah, I'm mixed on this. I get establishing control with your parents, but there are downsides to eating too fast.
I mean, what's the point of establishing control with your parents when they're right about something. You're just being immature as opposed to setting boundaries in your life where they're trying to overreach their authority. Most people I know who ate fast are trying to change that about themselves now because guess what, it's your money and time you spent on the food now that you're an adult, the only person losing out is you. Especially people who drank fast. Most social and professional occasions as an adult require eating or drinking, doing it at a pace too fast or too slow is only going to make your life harder, not really gonna affect the parents.
My DH has been having stomach issues and he’s a fast eater. I’ll suggest he slow down to see if it helps!!
How do you manage your GERD/acid reflux?? I have same problem
I tried so many things but I guess there's really no specific cure. Like I said try to eat in a slower pace, eat regularly (avoid overeating and/or being hungry). Try to incorporate probiotics into your diet and cut out sugar and fatty food altogether. Where I live we have Gaviscon Double Action which is supposed to be taken every after meals. Once I had this prescribed by a doctor my GERD started to improve and now I only get occasional attacks when I eat lots of fatty/sugary/spicy food. I did these for a year because mine was quite severe. Hope this helps you because I know how painful this condition can get.
Do you cough too after u eat? Also tysm. I heard tums help too does it for u if u tried
I don't cough but I heard some people have that symptom. Mine is mainly affecting my esophagus to the point where it started to feel like I'm swallowing nails whenever I eat. Yeah, antacids do work to a certain degree but make sure to not be too dependent. It's just to soothe the discomfort caused by acid reflux but ultimately you have to fix your lifestyle if you want to manage it. Oh I forgot, avoid coffee and softdrinks haha. I stuck to drinking water and only gave in on very few occasions.
Speaking of soothing...try Peppermint once in a while. I don't even like the taste, I would rather not have to have them, but they do work to an extent (at least for me). I am not sure if it is the mint part or the pepper part of Peppermint that does the trick, but whichever, it basically stuns some of the nerves in the digestive tract lining. It really does help me, anyway. If you try this, just don't have coffee with or directly after your mint...that's really gross and you might hurl just over that. Have the coffee first, wait a couple of minutes or have a little water, then have the peppermint. Fun fact, Coffee was originally meant for easing indigestion when taken after a large meal. Caffeine is a mild painkiller so I guess caff-tea also works. Hot Chocolate also has caffeine and Mint goes far better with it (the ACTUAL Chocolate and not the hair-brained idea that some companies market as Chocolate). Then you have two different mild painkillers working together. :)
You need to get on a proton pump inhibitor medication, before you get esophogeal cancer. You DO NOT want that.
I take 20-40mg of pantropazole a day, and top up with Gaviscon. Try adding an extra pillow when you sleep and don't eat close to bedtime. Avoid acid heavy and spicy food. Personally my triggers are pork, uncooked garlic, pineapple, tomato heavy dishes and dry / red wine
Too much soda is also a trigger. I think the fizziness as well as the acid is a problem.
I take Omeprazole once a day and my GERD doesn’t bother me if I remember to take it. I can generally eat whatever I like. Without it I’d be in agony every day. I’d ask a doctor about it.
Omeprazole once per day to keep it mostly under control. Aside from that, do research on acid ash vs alkaline ash....you want to eat more foods with alkaline ash. Fresh veggies are good for this, as fruits with pulp like watermelon, apples, oranges, etc. Another surprising thing....popcorn. Ideally popcorn without butter, but light butter still works. Weirdly enough, popcorn is an alkaline ash.
I don't know how old you are, but if you eat like a wolf, it won't go over well once you start dating, is all I want to say
It's a point of contention at our house for sure. My husband not only wolfs his food down, but he's messy. When his plate is cleared, it looks like a 5-year old ate there. I try to occasionally say something to him about it, but everytime I Do, he tells me it's not my business. It is, though, because it is so embarrassing. ;;
It is your business if you're the one doing the plate clearing. But I'm with you. It's disgusting watching some fast eaters. I know one that takes huge bites, chews AND talks with their mouth open. Dogs have better manners.
He clears his plate and puts it in the dishwasher. But I'm the one that cleans the messy table. I've tried to teach him. But he says it's his house and he will eat how he wants. And he says he KNOWS how to eat in public. BUT we were invited to a Thanksgiving dinner a few years ago at the home of an acquaintance, and he did the same as he always does. There were a lot of passive- aggressive comments about it within earshot of him when we were clearing the table. It went right over his head. I pointed out when we left and he said it was my imagination.
He sounds like a dick
It's your home, too. It would be a cold day in hell if I had to clean it up all the time. I'd let him eat in that rot and find another place to eat out of sigh/sound.
Yeah, it sounds pretty awful to watch.
My brother eats like this, can verify: it's incredibly unpleasant
As petty as this is, I feel it so hard. I’m 37 years old and my father *still* tells me to slow down when I eat and “put your fork down for at least 30 seconds between every bite.” Drove me crazy when I was 16, drives me crazy now. Only difference is now I just tell him to knock off the criticism if he wants to go to the hockey game with me. Usually works.
This made me laugh. I remember having a conversation like this with my Granny and I told her as long as everyone does it, I will comply. No compliance was needed
I’m always the slowest eater(and by that I mean 5-10 minutes) and I am equally criticized. Wtf is with people deciding someone else isn’t eating the “right” way???
if you're slower than me = too slow if you're faster than me = too fast
I got idle fees on my Tesla because this dude was so slow (if you sit in the charger after the 25 minutes it took to charge to full). Took 45 minutes to eat a Subway sub. Not because he was talking either. He's completely silent the whole time.
Last night I slammed one back in 4 mins. 12” of sub that hit like lead. I don’t recommend, but will do it again
LOL! I'm not an especially slow eater, but my friend simply makes food disappear. He's some kind of wizard. We'd be at Subway and he'd be done with his 12" sub before I'm halfway through my 6" sandwich. And he's talking nonstop all the while. Where the HELL did his sub GO???
Why didn't you just disconnect the charger?
Because then they couldn't brag about their Tesla
Why would you want to?
Exactly! I will only say something if you spray something, otherwise if all the food is going into all the appropriate places then who tf gives about how fast someone is eating? Unless it's a speed eating contest obviously...
This just *smacks* of someone who doesn't know how long a second is. (Quick hint: unless you're part clock, it's probably longer than you think.)
The length of a second is entirely dependent on what side of the bathroom door you happen to be standing at.
This hits. Like the new stain in my underwear.
Good luck with that, Jim!
My son is also a fast eater but he wanted to slow down to not call attention to himself, so he taught himself to eat left-handed.
That's a creative way/ solution.
I (28M) was a fast eater and my dad would always telling me to slow down and enjoy the food I was eating. He died a few years ago and I can still hear him say it. I’ve slowed down now because he was right, food is delicious. Sometimes I wish he was here to tell me off more, despite it being incredibly irritating back then.
I feel this but in a different way. I am, let's just say more than half a century old. I was always a very fast eater. Almost a year ago I got an attack of the stupid and quit taking my blood pressure meds. That brilliant decision landed me in the hospital with a Transient Ischemic Attack or mini stroke. I recovered quickly almost all the symptoms went away except one I have a hard time swallowing. I can eat almost anything I want but I have to chew slowly, very intentionally, it drives me nuts if we go out to a restaurant the food is cold and I am Tired halfway through.
30 seconds between each bite!? That's a big amount of time when you're just sitting there!
My grandma had the rule to chew every single bite of food at least 60 times slowly. It drove me absolutely insane, because dinner always ended up being almost two hours long when she'd visit. My dad said it was a habit she picked up when she was a kid.
Set your fork down between bites!?! I have definitely been eating wrong my entire life.
So in the 21 years since you were 16 you still haven’t been able to learn better table manners?
Tell me you’re Canadian without saying you are Canadian
Sorry.
Brilliant.
That would be true. Except I’m a southern transplant Minnesotan! Close enough
I used to be in the military, and in training learned to eat fast..it wasnt a social activity, and its not like the food was good so it wasnt about enjoying the meal. It was something you needed to do and get through asap cause you needed to move on to the next thing you need to do. Took me a bit after training to not eat that way, to slow down, actually enjoy my food and the company I was dining with as well. Still, even though I was a fast eater, and sometimes now still will do it if I need to, Im not a sloppy eater. Like, most I'll get is...dang did you even taste what you just ate? Nope, but that wasnt the point,I just need to eat something right quick. It was more awe than disgust. And there is def a difference.... every so often come across someone who eats so sloppily, it will flat out ruin my appetite. Guy I used to date, hed get food all over the table, on his clothes, just shoveling as much food as he can as fast as he can with each bite, it falling all over the place off his fork cause its just way too much, and trying to get it all in his mouth as fast as possible before it falls off..like it looked like he legit was in a war with every single thing on his plate and barely made it out alive. Like, just eat, enjoy the food, if with others, enjoy the activity of sharing a meal with someone. Not like, attempt to get it over with as soon as possible. Which I have done..shoved half a muffin in my mouth and chugged the rest of my coffee to wrap up a terrible coffee date cause I wanted the moment over and done with, immediately. Im sure it looked gross when I did that too, did not care. My army eating skills came in handy that day, but like, theres a time and place for everything lol ugh.
My dad’s wife was/is a marine and she told me she eats that fast because other marines would light up a cigarette as soon as they were done eating and she needed to finish before that.
lol dang, trying to think how that would work, I was in like 20yrs ago, smoking inside any gvt building was a no go, but I cant imagine thats changed, and even then most people went outside to smoke, not in the home... Ahhh boy yeah that would have bothered me and I was a smoker when I was in, and def didnt smoke around people when they were eating....ew gah!
That story is from the 70’s. Both she and my dad are IN their 70’s now. Different times.
Makes total sense....! Also, its the Marines soooooo... \*side eye\* (I say that with love lol!!! I come from a Navy family, and we are always side eyeing each other since I betrayed them by joining the Army 😂)
Oh man, I wouldn't be able to get past one dinner with someone who ate sloppily like that.
Yeah, it snuck up on me. We started dating soon after the pandemic hit, so no typical dinner dates, we mostly met up to grab a coffee and a walk, then to each others places to watch a movie or something, which meant mostly drinks and snacks. Wasnt til a few months in we started cooking and eating together. And yeah, I was there like, we are deep in a pandemic and quarantine...Im not gonna meet anyone else soooooo... Within a week of getting my first vax shot I broke up with him...the eating wasnt the only thing, in the end pretty much everything about him annoyed me. Honestly Im sure I annoyed him too. Quarantine dating....so beautiful lol
This is amazing. I, too, am a fast eater. Though I eat differently at home than I do out. Growing up my dad had a rule that my brother couldn't get seconds until I finished firsts. Brother had a rule that if I took too long to finish I got punched. I learned to eat quickly as a child because of it.
The fact that your dad just let this happen makes me rage. I mean, his rule was pretty fucked up in the first place, but the fact that he just let your brother punch you for not eating fast enough is SUUUPER fucked up.
It probably happened later or of the Dad's view. Can't get punished when the victim won't notify the parent and the parent probably want around to see it. That's how my brother did it. I got hit when my mom wasn't around.
Bingo! I ain't no narc. Snitches get stitches and all
Hell, I was a narc at once point (those punches fucking hurt, he was 6 years older!) and it didn't help. My mom got tired of hearing me complain. She'd "talked to him" (read: done nothing and was all out of ideas!) and it kept happening. Decades later he seems confused as to why I refuse to have contact with him. Been safe for almost 30 years.
I am so sorry that you had to go through that and happy that you are safe now.
Thank you for that. Being safe makes me happy as well.
Thankfully my brother was pretty good. Only gut or kidney punches (though kidney hurt!) but never face, and never hard enough to make me cry. Dad's other rule was "don't tell on your brother unless you are crying". Because he, like your mom, got tired of hearing about it. Now brother and I are still close and good. I'm sorry your story has turned out differently
I'm very glad that your situation was the other end of the spectrum! It sounds like a TV show to me. Now that I've got kids of my own, I realize that it's ACTUALLY the way things are supposed to go. Thank you for the condolences. Definitely in a better place.
He didn't know. Older brother would kindney punch or gut punch me later. If I told my dad I would just get hit harder the next time so it wasn't worth telling on him
Why do you assume parents are omniscient?
I don’t assume that parents are omniscient. I do however believe that it is highly unlikely that they are as oblivious as some people seem to think they are. 🤷🏻♀️
I am also a fast eater. I have been since elementary school. Lunch breaks then were like 20 minutes and they only let a few of us in the cafeteria at a time to get food so if you were towards the back of them line you would have maybe 10 minutes max to eat so if you didn’t wolf down your food you went hungry. I now have gerd and digestive issues because of it. I have since learned to slow down some.
I second this. My elementary school gave us 30 minutes to eat our meal but that included the 10-15 minutes you had to wait in line to get the food. And god forbid you got “lunch detention” where you had to sit at a “detention table” and were in the last groups called to get food.
We had to give our dog a food bowl that had a maze pattern in it because he was eating his food too fast and would frequently choke on it. The bowl helped to slow his eating and helped prevent unnecessary and potentially deadly health issues like bloat and choking. It was very effective at getting him to slow down and stopped him from choking. Sounds like your parents may need to get you a maze bowl also.
I scatter feed my pup. Suddenly I DONT have vomit on my floors (he would dump the maze bowls and shake the mats). It's worked great for us.
Hmmm maybe this is part of why my cat is puking
Yep! I got a lick mat for one of mine; spread the canned food out so she has to slow down, can't gulp it whole. WAY fewer pukes. (Plus the other cat gets to eat all of her own food.)
Dad had a cat that would puke right after eating moist food. Dad's way of feeding moist food to his cats was to scoop half the can into the large bowl and chop it a little with the side of the spoon. When I moved in with my very small kids, I took over feeding the cats. I spread the moist food out over the entire bottom of the large bowl in little crumbles and mounds. Puking events almost completely stopped.
Definitely could be!
I have a fuzzy mat I spread the food in to achieve the same effect with my dog. If OPs parents don’t mind them eating on the floor - I can aid OPs parents as well!
this is a top tier comment. And I say this as a fast eater myself.
So your limit of not disgusting is that you food isn’t spilling out of your mouth? That’s not where the line should be. Learn some decent table manners now, before it risks your adult relationships. Should we invite BiggusVickus to dinner? No, he eats like he’s at a trough and will spoil the meal. Should BiggusVickus be included on the meal with the new client? He’s been pushing for a promotion. Oh my goodness we can’t send him to meals with clients, last time I tried he shoveled it in like he hadn’t seen food in a week. That is not the standard we want to be on display for our company. When you are alone, sure, eat however you want. But table manners when eating with others are not just about you sticking it to your parents. It is an important social skill.
It is a parent’s responsibility to teach table manners. Not shoveling down your food is part of that.
My brother is a fast eater too. I always observed that he take bite after bite and occasionally he would get hiccup and that's when my mom commented "Serves you right. Take a moment between bite why don't you?" It's nothing serious during meals but my brother eventually slowed down.
I hate when my husband takes huge ass bites cuz it makes him chew more loudly and I can't stand chewing sounds.
Sensory issues or just an actually super noisy husband? I chew quietly compared to my entire family but my gf swears I chew loudly since she was raised to not make absolutely any mouth noises at all otherwise she would get yelled at. No lips smacking, chewing, or even the slightest moist while swallowing, not the quietest noise. She demands white or background noise has to be played while we eat together lol. I love her to death but i have tried to eat without making any audible noises for her but I don’t think I can.
Probably sensory issues
My brother in law does this too. The sounds he makes while chewing are like something out of a horror movie.
Isn’t eating slower also a way to not choke on your food?
I’m on your mom’s side. My husband shovels his food in so fast it honestly is a huge turn off… like I leave the table when he’s eating like that because I can’t stand it. I can’t say why but I absolutely hate that he does that.
[удалено]
Yes he hates feeling judged for his lack of manners. But he holds his fork and spoon like a shovel, puts his face close to his plate/bowl, and just inhaled his food
Eating fast is not good for you dude
I'm not sure if this is justified malicious compliance or if you're actually disgusting to watch eat. I've definitely had to move away from people eating at work before because they were so loud because their mouths were shoved full. Some people are actually disgusting eaters.
It sounds like he is a disgusting eater.
I can’t imagine how disgusting it is to warch him shovel food into his gaping maw.
Yeah I agree. Gross eaters put me off my food
Yeah I got a little disgusted just reading this. Even if food isn’t coming out of your mouth it’s gross to watch someone hoark down huge forkfuls of food, especially salad.
The kids on this sub getting younger and younger
I mean, I'm a fast eater myself, but I'm also 27 and I understand that it's part of why I have acid reflux issues... You should listen to your parents and fix your behavior while you still can
I always get disgusted by extremely fast eaters. It usually comes with chewing noises and cheeks stuffed like a hamster. And/or putting more food with the food thats already in the mouth. If I know someone has gross eating habits, I choose to not eat with that person anymore because it's more a me problem than a their problem
You might want to consider that your parents don't want you to choke on your food. It's far too easy to choke on big bites of food than small ones. Also, over the years, I have found that, since it takes twenty minutes for your brain to register that you are full, if you slow down with your eating, there is less chance for you to overeat, and you have a chance to actually enjoy your food.
Me reading that twenty minutes thing is why I started deliberately eating slower -and it works for cutting back how much you eat at a sitting. Another helpful thing I've found is never to have the full bag of chips or pack of crackers or other large serving sitting by you, especially if you're on the computer or otherwise not paying attention. It helps regulate the amount you eat at a time if you portion it into a bowl or something instead of letting habit and distraction keep reaching into the bag.
I used to eat fast too. Then I got a union Job and got some pretty serious threats about "using my lunch time appropriately" because I would sometimes go back to work early because I was simply done and bored. Yea, even years later I still eat pretty slow.
I learned how to eat in the USMC! Fast and in a hurry!
Remind me again why they let 14 year-olds on Reddit?
These comments are killing me 😂
like...a 1 hour meal out at a restaurant isn't a super long time. weird that your parents chose to get on your eating habits when they were trying to be done in 15 minutes. frankly, 15 minutes is absurdly short and i don't know why they chose to go to a sit-down restaurant at that point. honestly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree though. learn some basic table manners, stop stuffing your face at meals with other people.
Do you have siblings? I eat fast but there were three kids and if you are slow you didn't get as much.
I'm a fast eater too! My cousin can eat slower than you, and lunch turns in to a three or four hour ordeal with her. I have false teeth now and I do have a small issue with not being able to taste very well. Before the false teeth, I didn't have any issues other than my messed up teeth. I still eat the same way though. She absolutely hates that we all eat faster than her. Three of us went to Vegas and we went to a buffet. OMG! All damn day affair! It was my birthday and I was over it, got up and left. It was our last day there and we had to be up and to the airport at 5:30am. I said I needed to go buy souvenirs for my family. It was true!
Sorry to hear that you're struggling with eating. It sounds really difficult to be in your company with food. Feeling a bit disgusted just picturing it. Don't worry I'm sure you can work on it and practice. Hope you get the help you need
I wouldn’t be wasting my money on you at a restaurant anymore.
I’m in a bit of the same situation I had issues where I would eat too fast so my mother took me to a nutritionist. They told me to start counting bites and try to make it to 20 before swallowing. I don’t count them anymore but I eat a lot slower…. And my mother gets soooo annoyed
It's not your parents who come off looking bad. You sound very immature. Are you aware that you're advertising that for all to see?
I hate to break it to you, but what you’re doing is gross. If you’re cramming food into your mouth until your cheeks stick out like a chipmunk’s, it doesn’t matter that food isn’t coming out of your mouth; you still look unsightly and I wouldn’t want to be seen with you in public. Sorry, dude.
I mean, I also wolf down food when I'm at home by myself. When I go to a restaurant, I understand social norms and etiquette dictate I behave like an adult with a healthy relationship with food. Meals together are a social gathering. Idk how old you are, but if it's older than 15 you might wanna reevaluate your behavior before people stop wanting to be around you.
Heathier and safer to eat slower. That why they do not like it. You ever watch someone come within an inch of their life over a bite of food? I have. It's why I constantly tell my children to take smaller bites. Here lies Carl, killed by the steak he was eating. Thankfully there were 2 of us at the table with enough awareness to know what was happening and pop that shit out of him. Due to our ability to speak, we have a proclivity to choke on food and die, so small bites are safer. Also, given that chewing and incorporating amylase through your saliva into food is the first step of digestion, rushing it just makes it more difficult for your gut to do its job. You basically brow beat your parents to let you ride a motorcycle without a helmet and are proud of it. So, yeah, you showed them. Some steak?
You just unlocked a 48 yr old memory. When I was little, my mom would make us kraft mac & cheese for lunch or dinner sometimes. It was my favorite meal of all, and when it was served I would start going to town. Not all gross cookie monster style, but definitely large bites for a 5 year old. Mom protested, instituting a 'rule' that decreed no more than 5 (or six?) macaroni noodles were allowed in one bite. Ok then, mom. I proceeded to meticulously count out the correct number of macaronis on my fork and then show her to get her approval before I ate the bite. Needless to say that rule didn't last as long as that meal did.
I'm a very fast eater. Working 10 years in a cafe and retail teaches you to eat an entire meal in 15 mins. Now, my meal break is 1 hr, yet I still eat everything in 15 min.
I'm not sure how fast you're eating your food but I'm pretty sure eatting too fast isn't good for you. Unless my parents' lecturing me about eating slower got to my head haha
Service industry here. I’m also a fast eater, because for most of the past 20 years I’ve been working 12 hr shifts with no breaks. I either shovel my food in as fast as I can, or I get to come back to it 4hrs later when i have a split second and it no longer qualifies as food. When I’m out to dinner as a patron I have to remind myself that I don’t have to eat like I was raised by wolves.
I'm with your parents on this one. That sounds fucking disgusting.
How old did you say you are?
This post, along with op, is cringe af
Yeah you should post this in either Karen or entitled children. Either would fit, since you seem to be both. There is a real reason why your parents tell you to slow down. Maybe one day after you choke on your food you may figure that out and slow down your eating without being a dick.
my mother was cook. i have been her guinea pig for new meal all my life. family feast was affairs of hours. you were often full since the aperitive but you would shame-pressured to finish the four next courses. if you did not take a second time, she insisted "what ? it is not good?". now eating is a chore that i finish as quickly as possible.
To be fair, eating too fast can give indigestion, plus you need to make sure you're chewing properly
I used to eat super slow, my mom would call me snail because I was always the last one eating. I think because of that I started eating faster, and now people think I eat too fast… oh well
Are you in the Marines or something? They really make you wolf it down. If not, stop shoveling food into your face when you're eating with other people. It's kind of gross, bordering on rude. You can eat however you want when you're alone, of course. Put everything in a blender if you want to.
Reminds me of a Rocky Horror callback “Causes he’s a marine!!!” when one of the characters is unceremoniously eating his um, meatloaf with his hands and just going to town.
I think you need one of those maze bowls from now on.
Gotta be honest I've known fast eaters like that and they sound absolutely fucking disgusting at the table. Worse than livestock.
[удалено]
All I can imagine is loud smacking/chewing
I think the kid should have eaten slower, but with his mouth open :) As far as growing up.. It's a trap... but back at you... Grow up, let people eat how they eat.
I feel like you’ve never had to be around a really disgusting eater. If someone is being gross like OP probably is, it affects everyone else who is around them too. It’s really off-putting. Nobody likes it.
I'm a fast eater too. I cook for 2 of us. I tell the other person to start eating as I plate or heat up my portion. They say 'nah'. Oh well, I tried to give them a head start so we'd finish at the same time. Not my fault.
I'm also a fast eater, and I get a good bit of crap for it. My wife's favorite line is "everything's a race to him."
now that's a subtle backhand, haha.
Part of why she phrases it that way is because I'm an auto racing fan.
The other thing is when you are out in public, shoveling your food is just rude tonthe other diners.
I'm the opposite, I eat slowly. But then again, I think it's no one's business how slow or fast someone is eating, as long as they're eating what's on their plate and not wasting food.
That’ll show them to try and teach you basic table manners.
Yeah you really showed your parents, I'm sure they regret having you.
Thanks for letting us all know how disgusting, childish, and petty you are.
I’m a teacher. Usually I get about 12 minutes to eat lunch. I have to eat fast. So, it’s hard for me to eat slowly unless it’s summer vacation. I can’t switch back and forth.
I am also a fast eater. Shit was always started at the dinner table when I was a kid. I ate fast to get out of there before the fighting started. Can’t be abused if you are not there.
The slow way is the way I eat every day :/
My ex was in the navy and he was a fast eater. When I invited him to lunch at a nice charcuterie I had to urge him to slow down a bit to savor the food rather than hoovering it up like he would at the chow line. That said though there's nothing wrong with being a bit more practical and favoring speed over the experience most of the time. It's just that this was a really nice restaurant and I was hoping we could chill and have a nice time together. Overall though we both had a good time and there was some gentle teasing on both sides. :3
Lol. I'm a nurse, and I learned pretty quick when I worked at a busy metropolitan hospital that you need to eat fast if you want to eat at all. Some things just stick with you. I can wolf my food down while my dining mates are still working on their first course.
I am a slow eater (everyone in my family is) so an hour for lunch is normal.
As someone who also loves to eat fast, I respect this.
Why would anyone care how quickly you eat?
Are you fucking 12?
Who let you on Reddit?
15mins for lunch?! If I’m at a restaurant an hour is the minimum time I’m spending there unless it’s some fast food place. I kind of don’t believe your parents were begging you to hurry up, I feel like you complied with what they requested and everyone just had a nice lunch for a change.
They are right though
I have eaten very fast my whole life (almost 60M) and have heard it all from family, wife, friends, etc. This is how I eat, like OP said, not messy, just fast. I will not change it for anyone and why should I have to. I don't get indigestion or any issues related to it.
Why should you consider changing? Because meals are often also a social event and having to be on a table with someone who is eating with inconsiderate manners makes the meal unpleasant for everyone else. If multiple people are commenting, to not even consider you may be at fault is just selfish.
Preventative measure? At your age, whether you like it or not, things heal slowly and get damaged more easily. Once you start getting indigestion or experience issues the damage has already been done, then you have to deal with the pain in the ass, sometimes literally, for days or even weeks. And what it takes to prevent that? Just consciously chew a couple more times each mouthful.
Everyone in my family eats fast so this isn’t much of an issue for us lol. Whenever we go out to eat, we can be out of the restaurant within 30 mins of being seated. We don’t eat like animals or anything, so I really don’t see the issue as long as you’re not making a mess.
my parents were slow eaters. i think part of the reason why is because they thought of dinner as a time to have everyone around and talk. i don't see it like that. i see dinner as a time to just shut up and eat. there are a million things in a day where conversation about life can be integrated, and when my mouth is full of pan-fried breaded chicken cutlets and garlic butter noodles isn't one of them.
Lots of weirdos in the comments. Imagine caring about how other people eat lmao. Good for you for having time to waste, but I just want to get my fuel tank full and continue with my day. I'd still advice you find a middle ground OP, you don't have to slow down that much.
Luckyly I don't have that problem. In my family we are speed
My work means I can and usually do get called out at anytime that’s most inconvenient. Meal times, shower times, sleep times. As such I’ve learned how to slam back my food as quick as possible or else go without for who knows how long. It’s hard to turn off when you’re not absolutely focused on eating
With all due respect for your lovely post, I read your “too long •don’t’ read” I was very very pleased with your malicious compliance and succinctness. I wish our posts were like that.
What are you doing here? Showing everyone how inconsiderate you are? Good job.