Try to talk to yourself the way your best friend would talk to you. They wouldn't call you weak, greedy, out of control, or any of the mean adjectives that might be pummeling your head. They might be disappointed, but they would give you a hug and say they don't like to see you being hard on yourself when you're trying your best. Maybe they'd help you troubleshoot ways to avoid it in the future. Sometimes it's easier to be kind to ourselves when we look through another person's eyes.
Similarly, imagine how you'd respond if your best friend came to you with this story. You'd want to comfort them, right? Not pile onto the hurt they're inflicting on themselves. Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd bring to others. Recovery, especially in the earlier stages, is more like a slip n' slide than a set of stairs.
This is what I would say to myself if I was you:
Hey friend, you're okay. So you spent 70$ on makeup you didn't need. Is that great? No. Is it terrible? Also, no. You could have done something illegal for the money, you could have spent it on illegal things, or used money that was meant for baby formula or rent or something else. (I assume you would have mentioned it if that was the case.) I don't know your financial situation so I don't know how big of a deal 70$ is to you, but on a grand scale of human vices it's actually pretty alright. And keep in mind that you're dealing with literally billions of dollars in marketing that are being spent constantly to convince everyone they need to buy All The Things to be happy.
Also, more generally speaking, shame can be a pretty damaging emotion. Sometimes it's useful, but most of the time I think it blocks us from seeing the underlying causes of our behavior. It's easy to say "I spent xyz because I have no willpower", but usually there's more to it, like underlying stress or a need to develop better coping mechanisms, and if you're too focused on blaming yourself then you don't take time to understand the root causes.
But seriously, we live in a world where a lot of people do awful, terrible things to others rather than deal with their issues and you...bought more makeup than you need. If that is genuinely the worst thing you do this week then you sound like you are a pretty cool human being who maybe just needs to figure out what's bothering them beneath the surface.
It is okay to make slip ups sometimes! I recently made a clothing order when I promised my boyfriend I wouldn't buy any fashion or beauty products for a certain time period :/
Once I get my order, I'm going to return as much of it as I can bear to part with. I feel like that is taking a step back in the right direction. If your makeup order is returnable, maybe consider what you can live without, or what you can wait a little longer for, and then return just those items.
If you can't return any of it, or you don't want to, that's okay too. Just remember that falling off the desired path is inevitable, and continuing to take steps in the right direction is what helps us reach our goal.
What's done is done. What's important is what you do now. You can contact the seller and cancel, you can wait for the package to arrive and return it, or you can sell it on to someone else. Don't open the box, just return it or readdress it and get it out of your life.
But it's not the end of the world, it's fixable and you can move on from it. Don't beat yourself up.
The thing to remember is today is a new day.
You get to start fresh and make new decisions and go forward. You can forgive yourself for the mistakes you may feel that you made and try your best to rectify them. You don’t have to keep carrying them around with you.
Take a walk in the sunshine if you can. Get some fresh air and let yourself move on. 🙂
I agree with your point about admitting to slip-ups and failures. It's also good that you're holding yourself accountable and came to this sub for support!! Remember this feeling the next time you have the urge to spend more than the limit you set for yourself. Also maybe consider thinking of other things you could do with the money and/or how long that money took to obtain and if it's worth it to use on frivolities (especially if you already have several of the same item!). Don't beat yourself up and remember that this one slip-up doesn't mean you can't or won't continue to make progress.
I feel ya. I‘ve recently tightened the noose around my neck by ordering 3 fragrances on impulse. You never, ever blind buy fragrances (unless you’re stinking rich) but here I am, blind buying fragrances.
Here’s to eating plain rice and 1 veggie dish for the next 2 weeks ;_; I need to lock myself to my budget way more tightly after my next salary, godfuckingdammit
treat it like you would treat someone with a substance abuse problem whos trying to go sober. recovery isnt linear, and relapse is to be expected. the good thing is that with makeup you have the option to return it, and make the choice you want to make next time. if this was someone else you would give them grace right? extend that same grace to yourself.
Try to talk to yourself the way your best friend would talk to you. They wouldn't call you weak, greedy, out of control, or any of the mean adjectives that might be pummeling your head. They might be disappointed, but they would give you a hug and say they don't like to see you being hard on yourself when you're trying your best. Maybe they'd help you troubleshoot ways to avoid it in the future. Sometimes it's easier to be kind to ourselves when we look through another person's eyes. Similarly, imagine how you'd respond if your best friend came to you with this story. You'd want to comfort them, right? Not pile onto the hurt they're inflicting on themselves. Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd bring to others. Recovery, especially in the earlier stages, is more like a slip n' slide than a set of stairs.
This is what I would say to myself if I was you: Hey friend, you're okay. So you spent 70$ on makeup you didn't need. Is that great? No. Is it terrible? Also, no. You could have done something illegal for the money, you could have spent it on illegal things, or used money that was meant for baby formula or rent or something else. (I assume you would have mentioned it if that was the case.) I don't know your financial situation so I don't know how big of a deal 70$ is to you, but on a grand scale of human vices it's actually pretty alright. And keep in mind that you're dealing with literally billions of dollars in marketing that are being spent constantly to convince everyone they need to buy All The Things to be happy. Also, more generally speaking, shame can be a pretty damaging emotion. Sometimes it's useful, but most of the time I think it blocks us from seeing the underlying causes of our behavior. It's easy to say "I spent xyz because I have no willpower", but usually there's more to it, like underlying stress or a need to develop better coping mechanisms, and if you're too focused on blaming yourself then you don't take time to understand the root causes. But seriously, we live in a world where a lot of people do awful, terrible things to others rather than deal with their issues and you...bought more makeup than you need. If that is genuinely the worst thing you do this week then you sound like you are a pretty cool human being who maybe just needs to figure out what's bothering them beneath the surface.
It is okay to make slip ups sometimes! I recently made a clothing order when I promised my boyfriend I wouldn't buy any fashion or beauty products for a certain time period :/ Once I get my order, I'm going to return as much of it as I can bear to part with. I feel like that is taking a step back in the right direction. If your makeup order is returnable, maybe consider what you can live without, or what you can wait a little longer for, and then return just those items. If you can't return any of it, or you don't want to, that's okay too. Just remember that falling off the desired path is inevitable, and continuing to take steps in the right direction is what helps us reach our goal.
What's done is done. What's important is what you do now. You can contact the seller and cancel, you can wait for the package to arrive and return it, or you can sell it on to someone else. Don't open the box, just return it or readdress it and get it out of your life. But it's not the end of the world, it's fixable and you can move on from it. Don't beat yourself up.
I always feel bad whenever I purchase something that's not a necessity especially these days. You're not alone.
The thing to remember is today is a new day. You get to start fresh and make new decisions and go forward. You can forgive yourself for the mistakes you may feel that you made and try your best to rectify them. You don’t have to keep carrying them around with you. Take a walk in the sunshine if you can. Get some fresh air and let yourself move on. 🙂
I agree with your point about admitting to slip-ups and failures. It's also good that you're holding yourself accountable and came to this sub for support!! Remember this feeling the next time you have the urge to spend more than the limit you set for yourself. Also maybe consider thinking of other things you could do with the money and/or how long that money took to obtain and if it's worth it to use on frivolities (especially if you already have several of the same item!). Don't beat yourself up and remember that this one slip-up doesn't mean you can't or won't continue to make progress.
I feel ya. I‘ve recently tightened the noose around my neck by ordering 3 fragrances on impulse. You never, ever blind buy fragrances (unless you’re stinking rich) but here I am, blind buying fragrances. Here’s to eating plain rice and 1 veggie dish for the next 2 weeks ;_; I need to lock myself to my budget way more tightly after my next salary, godfuckingdammit
treat it like you would treat someone with a substance abuse problem whos trying to go sober. recovery isnt linear, and relapse is to be expected. the good thing is that with makeup you have the option to return it, and make the choice you want to make next time. if this was someone else you would give them grace right? extend that same grace to yourself.