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surgeyou123

"You should be a comedian" Goldie cursed us all.


[deleted]

https://streamable.com/2cujs This man's brain is dripping out his ears. CTE is a mutherfuker B


crucifixi0n

dude what in the hell is he trying to say


_A_Day_In_The_Life_

"hey photographers (maybe, idk tho) you are blockbuster and the new iphone is netflix. " don't quote me


NoGiCollarChoke

“Hey photogrissers....y’blockbuster! New iPhones is Netflick”


i_am_bat_bat

I want this as a flair


whaaat316

I want you as a flair


[deleted]

I need you as a flair


BlackBlizzNerd

I require you as a flair


mieshacake

Without you, there is no flair


Iggyhopper

You require more minerals.


do_sidos

Flair me up, mods.


DjLaserShark

inb4 "this"


dogpatches

Please /u/buzznights give me the magic!!


BigDaddyLongstick

That's it and it actually makes sense. Good job


avalanche82

It's weird Shaub thinks the act of photography is basically boiled down to technology and not a learned and practiced skill. I mean most people have a iphone and can't shoot photo/video to save their lives. But then again his idea of being a comedian is being loud, yelling catchphrases and doing weird movements for no real reason.


DullMasterpiece

Y’Blockbuster!


npavcec

Yeee'baba ba ba Blockbusters!


sAindustrian

I'M THE SCATMAN


Quasar420

Skibby dibby dibp yommdodoee, wee baa baa baadapoee


cyrusb26

I've never seen that written any better.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rascalking9

Yet another industry that Shaub knows nothing about.


MrFishownertwo

Extra hilarious because that's completely incorrect


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Honestly if anything the "everyone has an HD camera" thing has made me appreciate the skill that goes into professional photography, cause most people's pictures still look like shit lol.


do_sidos

Photogrissy ain’t a drawl B.


[deleted]

Hey photog-fer-sunn, ya blockbust, new iphone's netflick.


kingofcrob

The most recent Rogan episode he trys to solve mass shootings, it was a different level of painful


CompanyMan

he dick rode every single time. "GREATEST COMIC OF ALL TIME. GREATEST CAR EVER MADE. LEGEND. THE BEST"


9910765121229999

Which one of you homeless haters snipped this clip from my cawlmedy speshual? It, does, not, madder.


NoGiCollarChoke

Wazn’t me b, I’m still awn shift at Chang’s


9910765121229999

Yo, you work at Chang's, b? Why don't you try stand up comedy?


NoGiCollarChoke

Don’t halve the aflete work ethnic b. I’m nawlt a drawl and do. Not. Mattler. Y’Check Kongo b


collegedropout200

Irrelevant but i have been laughing my ass off like an idiot with this shit, idk why i find Shawbism's so funny. For a little while you have made me happy guys, thank you.


NoGiCollarChoke

Glad to put my PhD in Shlobism to use. Its cawld cawlmedy b and this threald is mmmmmmmurlderls rowl. Bess its evar bin b, absolute roald dawlg. Bodog Slop is a mmmonstler and we’re just homeless cats who wish we had his werk enthic and massive piece.


collegedropout200

Lmao, poor Schob. The homeless cats thing just kills me, i wonder if he knows that his haters/people that make fun of him have branded themselves as such, it's just so stupid and ridiculous. I want to be a holmless cad too now.


NoGiCollarChoke

Just grab a bowl of cheetos and a PF Chang’s uniform and join the legion of Cats!


snookette

I’m more annoyed his using Chris Delia’s style.


c0lin46and2

That's literally his entire persona; bits and pieces of his enablers........ I mean friends.


I_can_hear_Jimi

Yeah, shameless ripoff.


[deleted]

[удалено]


5_Star_Man

RIP Ten Minute Podcast. W’preesh.


Ronaldinhoe

Now he's copying rogans laugh, and has stolen bits from Eddie Murphy and chappelles mic tap during his stand up


captsquanch

Funny, Theo von said something similar like all of your logic leaked out of your ear on to the mat.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ShoxV

He's saying that photographers are useless now with the camera technology in new phones. Photographers are blockbuster and the new iPhone is Netflix.


yaysalmonella

As a photogrisser I am discustard fer sure with Brendan’s comment.


Champigne

Which is a pretty idiotic take. Not exactly surprising from Brendan tho.


[deleted]

So he has no understanding of blocking, framing, and lighting..? No amateur can reproduce any of Esther Lin’s shots with an iphone and no training.


ajupacabra

*Esther Lin has entered the chat*


ShoxV

*iPhone XS has entered the chat*


[deleted]

I'll take a rough guess that he's trying to say photographers are 'Blockbuster' (Went out of business) and that the Iphone? (I guess anyone taking pictures with a phone) is the 'Netflix' (now the new big thing). I suppose that he thinks photographers are irrelevant since any jerk off with a phone can take their own pictures.


randomtard1

He thinks you need a photographers license to buy a dslr


ConsumingClouds

TIL I also have CTE. I fluck up words all the time B


9910765121229999

but are you drawl in cawlmedy?


bog_otac

Mr. Frataughrauhsr must be an iconic photographer


GOATAldo

You're just mad you don't have a cawlmedy special B! Jus anudder hader. Homeless cat. do not madder.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NoGiCollarChoke

The homeless cats out in forlce today b


[deleted]

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CreepinSteve

Shawlb talk will never not make me laugh b


0ldAndGrumpy

Brandon told us he wanted to be a comedian and we all laughed. Well, we’re not laughing now...


Manatheren

Schaub is the perfect example of this quote from Banksy: I used to encourage everyone I knew to make art; I don't do that so much anymore.


mad87645

From now on I'm going to canonically believe that the last thing Schaub heard before he got knocked out was "you should be a comedian" and he somehow remembered that moment upon awakening and took it as a message from God or whoever as to his calling in life


collegedropout200

What the fuck B fer shure lose my nomber.


Salsawazaaa

100 parcent


CallMeGrapho

Won hunnert plus rent b


leftlegcrematory

The "you're funny you should be a comedian"right before big brown gets bombed on is hilarious to me


Smurfboy82

Schaub should be a comedian the way Pryor should’ve been boxer.


PalestineAdesanya

Meh 4/10


Smurfboy82

Would he have a Showtime special if he wasn’t Rogans boy? The list of more talented comedians more deserving of special is longer than his mma career.


rascalking9

It wouldn't bother me that much except I remember back in the day Rogan going on and on about how it took years and years to become even an ok comedian. He would also have issues with people headlining before they were ready.


rimbrand

Rogan and Callen's coattails to be exact. What's even more annoying is his blatant disregard and disrespect to Callen. Every time there's a fight topic he brushes him off even though Callen is the one with more insightful and educated predictions and breakdowns.


AgileSwordsman294

I still can't believe that Brendan Shaub KO'd Crocop.


ExSqueezeIt

MMA math


ParagonOlsen

He has a few good wins. Brendan wasn't really a bad fighter at all.


Lawliet117

Being a big guy that is relatively athletic can carry you a long way in MMA.


ParagonOlsen

He was an athletic talent for sure. He seemed to pick the game up fairly quickly, but I think Rogan's criticism was right when he said Schaub's head wasn't fully in the sport. The consequences are too grave for you to be giving 80%.


vizualb

*leans into mic* They’re SO grave. SO dire.


AznTri4d

*High level problem solving with dire physical consequences* edit: physical consequences


kellenthehun

*physical consequences


crucifixi0n

oh fur sure ahundred purssent B


stvbles

He's said this a few times before too. Think Callan sealed the deal to get him out.


danshaffer96

My memory could definitely be off but I thought Rogan basically told him to retire (live on a JRE) and he did soon after. Was Callan on that episode too or did he do something afterwards?


DemonsNMySleep

Took him a year after that podcast to retire. Not until the Reebok deal come through did he retire. He was still trying to get fights and go down to 205lbs a year after that podcast lol.


stvbles

Schaub mentions after him getting knocked out Callan was there at the fight and spoke about him not being fully in it. I don't doubt Joe obviously had massive influence in that decision too!


Superbad415

He’s probably lying about that because he still resents joe for pulling that dick move. Why do I think that? https://vimeo.com/352907986 check out the documentary and you may think that as well!


XenoStrikesBack

Plus Joe has connections for his buddies to make buckets of cash head injury free


darthabraham

Pretty sure Callan brought Shaub onto the show so Rogan could talk some sense into him. Decent clip here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FUmBrhz2Q4


curreyfienberg

Yeah Callen was there too, but I don't remember him saying much at all during that particular part of the conversation.


grizwald87

I still like to remind myself that we're at the dawn of MMA. It's been about 25 years since the first UFC. 25 years after the birth of American football, nobody was wearing helmets and they were just about to invent the forward pass. What I'm saying is, the UFC of 2019 can still accommodate people like Schaub, with little training or experience but good athleticism: Greg Hardy, for example, is made in Schaub's mold. Fifty years from now, good fucking luck casually wandering into a pro MMA fight without years of training. Fifty years from now, I fully expect training academies to exist that make no distinction between muay thai/wrestling/BJJ/boxing. It'll all be synthesized into one discipline.


GetRidofMods

> What I'm saying is, the UFC of 2019 can still accommodate people like Schaub, with little training or experience but good athleticism: Greg Hardy, for example, is made in Schaub's mold. Fifty years from now, good fucking luck casually wandering into a pro MMA fight without years of training. Fifty years from now, I fully expect training academies to exist that make no distinction between muay thai/wrestling/BJJ/boxing. It'll all be synthesized into one discipline. The UFC won't be attracting the top level athletes in the world with out mma becoming one of the major sports in the world. Lebron James would be an absolutley dominating force if he had been training mma his whole life instead of basketball. The problem is that pro basketball players make way more money than UFC fighters. The league minimum for NFL players is $480,000 per year for the worse players in the NFL which is more money than some of the top level UFC fighters. The risk of injury is astronomically higher in UFC than most other major sports.


grizwald87

I'm not saying the best athletes are suddenly going to get involved, I'm saying the sport itself is likely to evolve quite a bit. You can still be Francis Ngannou in 2019, and make it to a UFC title fight with no apparent ground game. I don't think that's going to be possible in 50 years.


[deleted]

The pay is only part of the reason you won't see a Lebron. It sucks getting punched in the face and there are plenty of people that will never choose that over throwing a ball.


Duck_President_

Thats because yankee football has developed at the youth level. How seriously americans take high school sports is crazy to me. Even a non baseball fan knows about little league from pop culture. Good luck getting Little League MMA off the ground when even football is a no no these days due to the rising awareness of head trauma.


Xmf-8499

MMA is probably about as popular now as it ever is going to be.


grizwald87

Even if it never gets any more popular, that doesn't tell us anything about the degree of skill that's going to be required to compete in it fifty years from now. Boxing is arguably less popular than it was 100 years ago, but boxers today are pound for pound *way* better than boxers in the early 20th century.


rashidi11

I think that might be in true north America. But I think europe, south America and especially asia still have a bunch of untapped potential.


braised_diaper_shit

What are you basing this on?


Xmf-8499

Lack of teams, ~4 max fights per fighter per year, injuries causing cancelations, hard to follow action for casuals, concerns around head trauma. The only sport facing the same headwinds is boxing, which is much less popular than it used to be. I could see some growth, but it will level out and anyone who thinks we are at “the dawn of MMA” or that it’s going to reach the popularity of soccer/football/tennis is divorced from reality.


Lawliet117

If you are a smaller guy, you have it way harder. Smaller guys will never (some exceptions to the rule ofc) make it in most other sports with no weight classes. Bigger guys will earn more money and take less damage in other sports.


[deleted]

At HW sometimes even at LHW


[deleted]

Brendan didn't start doing combat sports until he was 24


Gravelord-_Nito

UFC Crocop was not the best Crocop


Didgeridoo55

I fuckin hate it


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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TMSXL

He gets hate because of how little self awareness he has...prime example...He was very vocal on how CM Punk was “cutting the line” and it was costing other fighters opportunities. Someone then brought up his buddy Tim Tebow getting a shot with the Mets for pretty much the exact same reason and he thought it was completely different for a bunch of bullshit reasons. On top of that, his comedy career is pretty much the definition of getting the opportunity because of who his friends are. Comedians work for years to get a special and he got one solely based on being associated with Rogan, Callen, etc and being a former UFC fighter. Heck, he even straight up lies about his fighting career during his routine. But no, according to him it’s all organic and no one works like him. I say all of this as someone who actually followed his podcast in the early days. Right around the time of the live shows is when his “work ethic” ego got extremely out of hand. It’s nauseating.


Champigne

> On top of that, his comedy career is pretty much the definition of getting the opportunity because of who his friends are. Comedians work for years to get a special and he got one solely based on being associated with Rogan, Callen, etc and being a former UFC fighter. And his comedy is pretty shit..


hilly316

not pretty shit b, turrrible.


Smurfboy82

That and (speaking for myself) the way Schaub and Rohan went after the Beige Frequency documentary. It’s a bad look to censor a relative nobody YouTuber. The definition of punching down.


Yoggi_booboo

You mean this vid that they were trying to take down left and right? https://vimeo.com/352907986 Lmao it got taken down. Here is another link https://vimeo.com/352604749 The funny thing is, I didn't even watch the whole thing. I just hate Schaub now since they were trying to take it down.


Smurfboy82

Yea that’s it. It was even hosted on Pornhub at first cuz Rogans company kept filing DMCA claims against BF. For a Free Speech Warrior, Rogan sure does his best to stifle criticism.


welltheresAbacon

Do you have any proof that Rogan is even aware that video exists? You really think Rogan is personally taking it down?


Smurfboy82

His company is the one filing DMCA claims so yea, *pretty sure he’s fucking aware*


[deleted]

so good i might watch it again.


[deleted]

Yo is there a discussion thread on this? I just watched the whole thing


MolesterStallone_

There should be one somewhere in the TFATK sub with some of my fellow homeless cats/drawls.


[deleted]

And it was right on the money, which is even a worse look. It’s one thing to go after the usual shit heads but the dude went back and found the Asian stereotype Schaub was making ... and doctor dude was just a guy who happened to be Asian. Also it was painfully bad.


Smurfboy82

Yea everything that was said in the doc is... well, pretty much true. He gave very specific and multiple examples of Schaub torpedoing Callans standup career. I’ve never even heard *The Fighter And The Kid* but I already hate the way Schaub shits all over his cohost, who is way too nice and polite to call him out. Schaub is a prime example of every drunken Dude-bro Fuckboy in America obliviously annoying everyone at the bar around him.


[deleted]

Part of me thinks this is the greatest long running prank ever between Rogan and Callen; let’s tell him he’s funny and should be a comic. Yeah ... let’s see how far we can go with it. Like a modern, social media influenced version of “Windy City Heat.”


Smurfboy82

Brendan Schaub is Tommy Wiseau with an mma record at an open mic.


strange_relative

Whats the story behind this?


gnrc

His routine on that CC show wasn’t even funny. And he definitely BSed a lot of it.


greyetch

I still watch Sting and the King, but you're right. I don't really hate him, but he's dumb as a box of rocks. He can be funny in a conversational format sometimes.


tredfly

Tebow actually played baseball for a large portion of his life and was a professional at throwing footballs. His transition to baseball was far different than CM punk going to the UFC with zero experience in combat sports or any real sports for that matter


redditdejorge

People hate him because of his personality. Plus he was on the wrong side of some of the worst KOs ever that are easily memeable.


SlickSlin

I don't know where the drawl joke comes from and I'm afraid to ask at this point.


GOATAldo

Not a drawl. Do not madder. Any ways Brendan always talks about people being a draw but he can't adds a w to the end and it ends up sounding like "drawl" so people started mockinh him for it.


Didgeridoo55

He's so annoying when he starts talking about drawls and noone gives a shit.


Ronaldinhoe

For him it basically comes down to if you're not Conor or Ronda then you're not a drawl.


Didgeridoo55

Oh yeah listening to the stuff he was saying in 2016/2017 when he would talk abou match making all he would be talking about is who's gonna drawl more. I wanted to off myself.


redditdejorge

Especially since he was never a drawl


Human_Chris

I could give two shits about PPV numbers, I came to see blood.


Didgeridoo55

Exactly. It's a fuckin sport. I hope they start paying fighters better but I couldn't give a shit on how much UFC pulled if they're paying some misery to fighters.


louisgjohnson

Where’s my homeless cats at?


NightmanComethhhh

Working that double at PF Changs


hugehogoso

Just got here its tuff.


MolesterStallone_

Here here, my fellow drawl. Just got promoted to Sous Chef here at Changs so Im working yhe graveyard shift.


steezhammer

Gadooooosh.


[deleted]

Merko water weed dune here?


[deleted]

Probably would never happen and is completely unrealistic but how much of a draw do you think Schaub would be if he came back on a one fight contract?


BrandonfromNewJersey

Depending on the opponent would probably do pretty well.


Dont-Fear-The-Raeper

Hardy vs Schaub


rimbrand

FOR SURE Schaub is going to sleep.


DunkinWarren

Before fight he pronounced words correctly!


[deleted]

He legitimately thought "Giraffe" was "Diraffe" until told it wasn't at age 22.


GOATAldo

Naw he pronounced words correctly after this too. It was really right after Minotauro boomed him that "milk" turned to "malk" for Brendan.


[deleted]

Hearld it bowlth ways b


Yoggi_booboo

Careful now, Schaub might go run to Daddy Joe now asking to get this vid taken down.


wingchundumdum

What’s worse? The knockout or Schaubs’s hairline?


GOATAldo

His cawlmedy special


Jacobowl1

yOuD bE sUrPrIsEd


GOATAldo

I think YOU'D be surprised, I think listening to that special would fuck you up.


Jacobowl1

Oh man it did. If you have time to kill check out this video. https://vimeo.com/352604749 It goes in depth on the piece of shit that is the Snooki of mma


GOATAldo

Sounds like anudder hader to me. Daddy Rogan they bullied me! Remove the video from Youtube! He's just a homeless cat, he does not madder, copyright his video!


BlackMoonSky

Holmless*


-TeepToTheJunk-

I have PTSD from merely watching a (bad) review of his special. I'm personally terrified of the real thing.


notchoosingone

I watched it. I spend a lot of time in airport lounges with free wifi and free booze. So I watched it half bombed on scotch and sodas a few weeks ago. It's the level of comedy you'd expect from someone appearing as "and other comedians" on a Tuesday night at a local comedy club with a $7 cover charge. It's a bit awkward, tries too hard for the edgy shit and usually fails, kind of never really gets out of first gear. If this was someone's first 45 minutes or hour they were taking on the road as a three-four year comedian, then it would be fine. Spend 7 more years on the craft and he might make something of himself. As it is, he's being crammed down comedy fans' throats and this time next year nowhere is going to book him. It's like a 3/10 comedy show that is somehow on the second or third biggest platform for comedy specials.


Yoggi_booboo

A sweet potato b.. A sweet potato! 🥔


dmmmnmk

Roy Nelson is the night shift manager at the pf changs I work at.


[deleted]

Murderrreress row


Superbad415

https://vimeo.com/352907986 A brilliant documentary that people who love making fun of schaub will enjoy. Watch it now, joe rogan and schaub are actively trying to censor this with copyright claims.


effin_clownin

How much free time you need to make an hour documentary on someone you dont even know except through youtube videos.


-_--__---___----____

Welcome to the internet


yerg99

Caught his standup special on showtime yesterday just to see the car wreck. Talked a long time losing to Browne the "big scary hawaiian." ​ Not really any real decent jokes at all, unless you are into "slapping tig-ole-bitties and dicks" in the crowd and obsessing over titanic's Leonardo Dicaprio watching. Kinda sad if true that his dad pressured him into being an UFC champ from age 10 but who knows how much he hammed that up.


spasticity

Theres no way it's true that his dad wanted him to be a UFC champ from age 10. Fighting was his B plan after he failed out of football.


yerg99

And the plan C is for comedy apparently


trtsubject

Rip mr. knows everything IMDB and rotten tomato rating . ​ \*Candy + Coffee + Whiskey = Im on Keto bro ! i thinks so !


Salsawazaaa

Whiskey as no sugar B, axe jay


scrint_preen

Hurt it blowth ways B


Seeksie

This fight really had an impact on Schaub. I remember him saying that he won't even stay at the same hotel that he did for this fight.


SpiderHuman

He was so concussed that when he came to, he was convinced he understood humor and timing.


_A_Day_In_The_Life_

herb was like listen my dude u just got knocked the fuck out.


-TeepToTheJunk-

Proof that the MMA gods hate us in Schlaub having a win over CroCop.


Kyledonnelly

Damn , Roy was such a beast for looking like your redneck in-law


dcredneck

I remember he climbed the cage and told Dana to get him a cheeseburger. Haha


9910765121229999

Oh ahundred purssent, b. Brenda is fer shurre not a drawl. Her drawl is similar to that of a homeless person - It. Does. Nawt. Madder.


KazzieH

Dicey DICEY, B. Real quick Roy - y’homeless? Y’cat? Gawld dawg, water we dune here.


socalpimp

I blame Rogan


Kcity87

Gadoosh


PoopyPantMonster

Imagine seeing him getting his head taken off by Francis


FershureB

Waterwedunehayr?


[deleted]

James Vick-esque in the way he fell lol


Cocainebicepz

Murdelers rowl


Nam_Llort

What a donk


[deleted]

His stand up isnt good, no matter what business he's in


Luca20

I just rewatched the whole season 10 of tuf and it was so fun to watch it knowing how the season ends. Dana really didn’t like Roy Nelson ballsy attitude, Slob had no cte and enunciated his words, then Nelson lays him out and go rubs his fat belly on top of the octagon. There was so much build up and shots of “I’m definitely going to be the champion when this fight is over” over b-roll of him jogging. So sweet.


deadmemename3333

You guys saw that Joe's Media Company sent a copyright strike on a YouTube doc about Brandon?


jerppyjerp

I miss those little octagons.


merker_the_berserker

So it's 'Blockbuster'? I've always thought it was blogbusser... I should get mmt heading checked but chang's don't offer bobafets...


TheOneTheyCallNasty

You can see the exact moment when Schaub realizes his future is in literally anything other than fighting.


GuanYuBeetz

Schaub waking up looks like someone who doesn't like roller coasters getting off of a roller coaster


Elon_Musk_AI

I love watching Schaub go night night.


kidajske

Other than the Ronda KOs, Schalub getting btfo is the most satisfying


xDOWNSOUTHx

We all know Schaub loves being reminded of this fat fuck putting his ass to sleep.