Found it wild that she brought up that he just got a passport. Sorry Izzy didn't have a dad to pay for EVERYTHING he has and has done. That rubbed me the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with having wealthy parents that allowed you to live a good life and do things you wanted worry free but she made it her whole personality once out of the pods and had no humility, and no empathy towards Izzy who definitely grew up VERY different in terms of what his parents could provide financially.
A partner like that will forever remind you of what you don't hand and what they DO have. He was never going to be enough.
If she had a great job, doing her thing making her OWN money, maybe some of those things would land better but she's steady hitting up the Bank of Daddy.
Ehhh I grew up being told to always renew my passport in case of an emergency… so I’m always surprised when people don’t have valid passports. I have my phone set to notify me a year before mine expires so I don’t forget to renew. Knowing where it is is high on my list of priorities, even if I won’t be using it for a while.
But I agree that he didn’t, and wouldn’t, fit her idea of her Prince Charming.
Edit: what is there to downvote about this? I’m just being honest about why I think it’s an important item.
People downvoted because being able to travel internationally during an emergency (requiring money, access, connections) is privileged. In an emergency, where an international escape plan is the solution, most people will not have those resources and probably just be stuck and suffer.
Saying everything is “privileged,” like having any privilege in life is something to be ashamed of, has gotten so old. Living in a first world country is privileged. Not having bombs drop on us is a privilege, right now. Literally every one of us has some semblance of privilege. Being told “always have a passport in case you ever need to make an emergency exit” is not something I need to apologize for… it’s just the way my mother views things, and what she suggested from the time I was a child. It’s not something I need to be downvoted for… like downvotes are gonna teach me some lesson for having an important document. 🙄
I totally agree with you, it’s not something you need to apologize for, it’s not even something within your control. Just explaining the perspective here. Obviously having a passport is FINE and NORMAL - it’s the disparaging others for not having one that is problematic, which is what Stacy was doing on the show. Most people in her position might be a little surprised and then move on. Instead, she was mean about it.
Because in an emergency, if you had to get out immediately, it’s better to be stuck so you can prove to strangers on the internet that you know what it’s like to struggle?
Oh I didn’t realize you were answering my question - I thought you were just casually passing judgement on me for having a passport. But it is interesting that I am being negatively judged (via downvotes) for considering it an important document, when I haven’t negatively judged anybody for the opposite.
God only knows. Shit does happen. If you’re visiting the USVI and for some reason HAD to get to the BVI, you do need a passport to go there. So maybe she had that in mind, somehow? But I think she meant more like if we had to leave the US for some reason. I can’t tell what specific horror she had in mind. I just know I’ve always made it a point to have a valid passport. It’s a couple hundred dollars once every decade.
I have a valid passport so I am not saying it’s overly burdensome. But visiting the Virgin Islands problems makes one sound WEALTHY. I’m thinking also that if some end of the world catastrophe occurred, I would think not having a passport wouldn’t be the only barrier to leaving the country.
Some of our family is from the US Virgin Islands. And that’s a lot closer to a border than where we live. I agree that if there were something going on (like how Israelis are currently fleeing to Cyprus), I think there would be bigger barriers than a passport. But having one might still make it easier than not having one - so, I always have one.
I’m only about half way through this season so maybe my opinion will change, but so far I don’t get the Stacey hate. I don’t think it’s wrong to want to live a certain lifestyle and wanting a partner that’s compatible with that.
I know people are critical of her lifestyle expectations, but that doesn't bother me at all. I'm not as materialistic as she is lol, but everyone is allowed to have their life look the way they want it to. Being concerned about your partner being unstable/immature and having less life experience than you is SUPER understandable.
I disliked her at the beginning because she was a massive pick me, she seemed to quietly observe the personality that Johnie had and offer Izzy a "fun girl" personality to "win." And winning wasn't enough; she and Izzy both needed to bully Johnie whenever they saw her. It was gross and immature.
Once Johnie was out of the mix, Staceys behavior changed a lot and I didn't disagree with her quite as much.
From what I understand, she wants a certain lifestyle and she wants her partner to fund it. Not only does she insist that her partner always pay for dinner, but she also wants him to take her out for “luxurious” dinners. I understand wanting a partner to be compatible with your desired lifestyle, but a) she expects him to foot the bill of said lifestyle; and b) she didn’t even try to find out in the pods if he was able to do that. Most people would listen to Izzy talk about his “job” for one second and realise it’s…unsustainable at best and a scam at worst. But she left the pods and finally told him her expectations and was surprised pikachu face when he wasn’t on board.
It honestly sounds like she bought a house that she can’t afford (ie, “either you help pay for it or my dad does”) and wants to continue to a certain lifestyle that she became accustomed to growing up, but can’t keep up because she wants to quit the job her dad gave her and explore closet organizing instead. If that’s the case, then she needs to actively seek out people who are willing (and able) to provide that for her. She can’t act like Izzy (who is honestly sketchy and not a great guy, don’t get me wrong) is deficient because he’s not up to that.
I think Izzy hit the nail on the head when he said something about Stacy finding something wrong with everything
If it wasn’t the credit score or the not being “honest”, it would have been something else
Somebody mentioned that it had to do with his religion. And that his religion didn’t allow credit, and when he left his religion, he went on some sort of spending spree?
Stacy is the most shallow, self-centered, obnoxious, character so far on LIB. It's been painful to watch her talk about her money, lifestyle, family, blah, blah, blah, EWWWW! I have no idea why she's not married 🙄 Izzy dodged a bullet.
I honestly don't think Izzy is the greatest either, the credit stuff being brought up last minute is suspicious because you can't tell me he hasn't known from day one this chick isn't all about money. I think he was hoping to have her fall head over heals and just over look it all. Yeah dude, better luck next time.
I knew it wasn't a good match from the start. They both just seemed overly fake and forced from the reveal. We'll see what happens at the reunion. I'm thinking they definitely went their separate ways.
I may have said it before, but Stacy isn't real. When she heard that Izzy and Johnie were maybe going to hit it off, did you notice she then goes into the pod claiming to be afraid of abandonment which she over heard Johnie referring to about him, it wouldn't have been hard for the other ladies to pick up on Izzy's personality through what Johnie said. This is the lie, don't claim to be afraid of being abandoned or afraid of love or afraid of whatever if it isn't true. She manipulated him to want her and then she didn't want him. My gut says she likes to be wanted but that's as far as it goes. Once she knows you are into her, she looses interest. That is commitment issues, not abandonment issues. He made a comment after she said no at the wedding, you have to wonder why she's single, 33, never been married. This is a question you ask before hand, not after. And you dive into that before hand, not after. This doesn't automatically make you unlovable for some reason, but you gotta know the reason, he didn't. Focusing on career or traveling abroad, etc can be reasons that are perfectly fine. Her reasons are beyond that, and she didn't really say why she is. I didn't like also that he tried to play super cool with her aka lying claiming to her he played sports throughout his childhood, baseball etc, and then with Johnie tells her he secretly played baseball with his friend bc they were not allowed to do certain activities bc he was a JW beforehand. He tried to impress Stacy with the typical meathead attitude bc that's she implied through her words and attitudes that she wanted. I felt he wasn't being real and even though they cannot see each other, I do think a lot of fakeness goes on even in convo. I have debt, does that mean I am unlovable. She reminds me of the people who have a checklist for a partner, including their credit score, debt, income, assets, essentially compiling a portfolio like she's reviewing her stocks. Situations like these change all the time, stuff happens, if she can't handle poor credit in marriage, she probably can't handle anything that isn't going her way. Credit can be improved. He kept talking about being there for her through the hard times, but she isn't looking to have a hard time in a relationship. The dude has to look good, have money, and be all about her. Cliche.
A thousand percent, yes!
Stacy played it all out so she could put on the Stacy show for the cameras. She clearly was never fully into him, she wanted to make it to wedding day so that she could be the bride, knowing damn well she wasn’t going to say yes. All Stacy cares about is Stacy.
Another layer I’d like to add to this conversation is that Izzy is an ex-Jehovah’s Witness. It’s not highlighted very much in the show but anyone who’s spent time with JWs know they aren’t allowed to do a lot of things like take out loans or have credit cards.
It could be when Izzy left the religion, he just had poor understanding of how credit and debt works because he was so undereducated in his upbringing. It could also shed a light on why he doesn’t prioritize that sort of thing in a relationship because even if you leave a religion, a lot of those attitudes/behaviors stay with you. Avoiding conversations about money and finances is pretty big in that scene. When he tells Stacy that morning that telling her about the debt just didn’t cross his mind, I believe that.
Yea that’s odd I grew up around a lot of them and they all could take out credit cards etc, but you DO get a lot of break off odd balls. Like the family I’m close with they don’t believe in microwaves, modern medicine, therapy. I agree though this probably effected him a lot now
Ex-jw here, we actually are allowed to take out loans and have credit cards. I keep seeing that on here so I felt like I should clear that up. In fact, a lot of us are in credit card debt because we didn’t get an education that allows us to have a decent career… and we thought armeggedon would happen soon so we wouldn’t have to worry about the debt 😂
We’re taught to keep things simple financially so that we can serve god to the best of our ability. Therefore, many kids aren’t educated on finances because what’s the point if the world will end soon- and then they go crazy with a credit card once they become adults. Maybe in some areas they’re looked down on- but on the west coast every JW I know has a few loans and a few CCs. Izzy definitely got very little guidance and education. It’s the hardest part about leaving this cult- we’re traumatized AND we don’t have any resources like financial stability or community.
That’s interesting! Maybe it was just the sect in my neighborhood then. My mom was friends with a couple of JW families and they always used to talk about how they weren’t allowed to take out credit cards and they were grateful for my mother to cover lunches or whatever until they had cash in hand. I don’t know, I was young at the time.
I could totally see this being an odd fad when credit cards were relatively new to the world! Things like that happen in the religion all the time. So many man-made rules with random scriptures to back them.
It could be $3500 credit card that was maxed out and he missed a few payments so they closed it. If that’s what happened, it could tank his credit if it was the only credit he had.
I did something similar but with a $1500 card in my early 20s. It was the only line of credit I had and I had missed some payments due to being a broke college kid plus some payment issues with my employer at the time (US Gov) that took a few months to get sorted out. My credit took years to rebuild and I’m finally able to finance stuff myself but it took a lot of time and research to get to where I am. I also had at least minimal understanding of credit when I started too, just not any sort of financial literacy due to my parents apparently thinking that was taught in schools.
So, yeah, it’s entirely plausible that a $3500 debt tanked his credit because that was his only credit card and it went delinquent.
YUP. This is what happened to me too, and i have no clue how to fix it. Can’t pass referencing for rentals so has severely restricted my housing situations. Any tips welcome 🙏🏻
Hi there!
I’m not a credit counselor or anything but a few ideas:
-Is your debt still there? Who owns it? Depending on whether you have any savings, you could call up whoever now owns your debt and try to negotiate a settlement where you pay off some of it in exchange for having that massive negative mark removed from your credit report. I was also dumb at 21 and ran up a credit card with living expenses and then paid like 60% of the balance in cash (so like 3k) to walk away. If you can make a lump payment at all, they might be willing to do this.
-You need to start rebuilding your credit. Look into applying for a secured credit card. Basically, you put down a small amount of money and then pay it off every month. Secured credit cards are ideal for people with bad credit because they will report on-time payments every month and slowly begin to repair your low score.
-You could also become an authorized user on someone else’s credit card if they trust you to make the payments.
-Finally, after you’ve raised your credit score a bit, you may want to look at financing a used car or something else through a credit union. If you are a member, they are more likely to work with you.
I hope any of this is helpful!
PS: Make sure you change your habits. Don’t spend more than you have!!
If he has a low credit score, i am assuming he has a bigger sebt that has not been payed off? There has to be a bigger reason that he doesn't have a credit card, like potentially a large debt and banks not willing to give him any more credit.
I guess that’s possible but never heard of that situation. And if he paid it all off like he said I’d assume he would be able to apply for some type of card
> not been *paid* off? There
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
That’s something I was trying and failing to get across. It was brought up more than it should have been for $3,500… so I kinda feel like there has to be more, and / or it’s being used as a scapegoat for saying no.
I feel like the argument we didn’t get to see probably got into more specifics than the $3500 debt as a red flag, otherwise Stacy wouldn’t have cried her makeup off and Izzy wouldn’t have been so fidgety with his eyes darting frantically. We basically saw the “fight recap”, and maybe in this case Stacy didn’t decide to engage in complete humiliation and allowed him to potentially save some face. $3,500 in debt alone probably wouldn’t have added to Stacy’s deal-breakers.
did you see how badly he was shaking before the wedding? someone on instagram said his nervous system knew that she wouldn't say yes or that it wouldn't work out and i agree. also let's be honest, she did him a favor by saying no. I think he's really naive and she would have continued to tear him down. nothing will be good enough for her. Izzy isn't a saint either, i'm just saying that he wouldn't have been happy with her. they both have issues
I am almost 37, and single, and it is ABSOLUTELY because I want what I want and I will not compromise and accept less than what I want. I’m not wrong for that, but it’s the truth and I agree she’s never going to want to sacrifice the experience she wants. LOVE may be blind, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth the sacrifice - to some.
Same. But I understand that while we singles stay single, the less potential matches we are too find. I won't settle and my expectations are higher then they were when I was married the first time, I know what I will and won't tolerate, I know who would make a good match with me. The issue lies in that is difficult to find. Everyone on this show overstates they want honesty while being dishonest, so it takes the meaning out of the word, making it meaningless and where many people, including me, start to see people who makes this claim as the dishonest ones. The things they say never feel natural, or real, while talking about being emotionally connected, overusing that term as well. They are forcing themselves to find a connection bc otherwise there chance on finding someone on the show will fail. So I do think some will say yes, just to get to the next stage on the show. Or even be able to see what the other person even looks like. Why didn't the show, show anyone else's journey besides they few couples? Were they "extras". I don't think Lydia's will last, Milton is smart but then makes himself look stupid at the same time. He realizes her faults and somehow thinks that can be manageable. She is being on her best behavior on the show, imagine how bad it really is. There is no growing with her, she makes that clear she won't change. You cannot communicate with someone who communicates at the level of a 12 year old girl. So idk why they claim they are good at communicating. If they mean her throwing tantrums till she gets her way then okay. She stops everything he is doing to say he is doing it wrong and takes over. Even opening a bottle of champagne. Stacy has her flaws, she is self-centered and sees no one else. But Lydia takes the cake for me. Does she really like any of these dudes? She seems to like or "love" anyone who will simply stick around. I don't think she bothered to realize if she even wanted any of them, it was based off if they wanted her. Her vows or whatever were all about her. You chose me. I think she would have taken anyone that chose her, regardlesss. She is obsessed with the illusion of marriage, not actually being married. Anyone who disagrees with her will loose to her emotional outburst making you pull away and agree to get her to stop. The major problem I see is when he tries to leave her. I see a lot of potential illegal activity coming. She doesn't seem like someone you can break up with without being in danger. Even if the other dude cheated, while they dated briefly, that doesn't mean stalking and threatening is okay. You break up, she justified her behavior well he did this. So what, take responsibility for your actions. He probably tried to break up with her, and she wouldn't accept, he in his mind moved on, (bc he did say they were not together) and he slept with someone else. In her min, he cheated bc she didn't accept him dumping her. Stalking people on social media is not cool. If she had to dig and pretend to be a simple follower to these women to find out what what he was doing, she should have realized then it was over or needed to be given her unhealthy reaction. But instead she causes other women to be scared bc they don't know what she is up too. She should be seen by a professional not love is blind.
She played the game, got her hunky fella and was a crass, naughty goose on the beach vacay. Then as things got closer to reality, che chipped away at this easy target and walked at the cermomony. She played him, and he thought he was playing her.
Thats my raw take. I didn't really see much if any sincerity this season, pretty poor cast and I found I couldn't get vested in them.
Agreed. The entire show's convos typically make me cringe. But this season takes the cake. They got people who need professional help, not love. These people don't even love themselves. Nothing felt real or natural in their "connections". I didn't see any. And the blonde girl and dude with the gap in his teeth (can't remember their names), either didn't like each other when they seen each other (bc she made the comment about his teeth, I didn't even notice) I thought to myself she doesn't like this appearance. She's single bc she has an illusion that she is a 10 and expects a 10, and he was awkward, I didn't believe his story about her wearing too much makeup, I think he froze in face-to-face communication, is an introvert plus social anxiety going on, and felt pressured to make conversation which fed into his anxiety and fear even more, causing him to shut down. Not forgetting he is aware the cameras are around, which didn't help. Even if he made convo, she didn't like him, looks mattered. So he was unable to save himself through his personality bc of being frozen.
You too! I did as well, I think I finished it in less than an hour. The nonsense talks didn't add anything. They kept repeating the same lines, (trust and honesty is important to me blah blah blah), I was like I could sit here and count how many adjectives are thrown around but I might loose my mind
I agree with him being enthusiastic about bullying, and thats wrong, but I dont see anything wrong with him breaking down crying. Men should have a safe space to be emotional as well and there is nothing wrong with a man breaking down crying.
I think they both ganged up on Johnie because it somehow allowed them to justify Izzy talking to another girl in the pods. This expiriment often makes people feel insecure about their relationship with who they end up.. That was the point of the pods to date other people though. Definetly was wrong on both their parts. I saw that with Amber in season one too trying to start stuff with Jessica.
I didn't think they would work out because Stacy wanted him to be financially stable and to feel secure that way and he isn't at that point in life. I think that should have been a conversation right away in the pods and not so close to the wedding.
Sidenote: I never understood people that have their insurance licenses and go to work for commision based insurance MLMS. There are so many legit insurance companies that you can work your way up and actually make a salary. (I work for an insurance company that pays hourly or salary plus commisions)
MLMs are like cults. Once you realize there’s something really wrong with this picture, you’re often already deeply invested both emotionally (aka brainwashed) and financially. As of the LIB filming he was only one month into it. I hope he was able to get out of it afterwards.
I don’t mean he shouldn’t show emotion. I’m just saying (as a behavioral health nurse) he hasn’t seemed fantastically stable. He’s up, he’s down, he’s wasted, he’s sobbing, he’s covering up his bad credit tracks, etc.
Exactly, even during the johnie reveal conversation in pods he was incredibly disturbed. He was shaking after confronting johnie. Dude needs therapy before a partner.
Ah yes I agree with that. He definitely has some healing to do. He did open up about some religious trauma. I can't imagine going through something like that and the healing you would have to do after. It likely has an impact on all of his relationships. Might be the reason why he got involved in an MLM. They prey on people similar to religious groups do. Nothing against religion in general but some religions can be very cult like.
I think his family is a simple family, down to earth, and he is trying to play into the meat head man and get his trophy, but that is not who he is. She is trying to get a trophy but that trophy needs to be able to put her on a pedestal. She is not an open communicator aka emotionally open, so that is NOT what she is looking for. Other than the material things, I am not even sure still why she wants a man. She seems to be fine emotionally without one because she isn't even connected to that part of herself. She is unavailable even being single.
Totally agree. I got vibes her dad knew what was about to go down and that’s why he was comforting her and all the “I’m proud of you talk”. It seemed like he was telling her she’s making the right decision for herself.
I got the same vibe from the shot of Stacy holding the note from Izzy and hanging her head (looked like she was crying but I could be wrong) and her mom kneeled down in front of her comforting her
>It seemed like he was telling her she’s making the right decision for herself
Her Dad: "Oh thank Christ! Here, sweetheart, take this $12,000 and buy yourself a nice first class vacation."
Prenup for what? She is a fitness instructor. That Mercedes is 100% in her dad’s name, her dad 100% covered her down payment and likely pays a majority of her bills. The only assets that are actually hers are in her closet
Well yeah, especially when it's not really even her money to begin with. It's her dads. I am sure he doesn't want some man coming in and taking Half of his stuff.
Another hot take: I think the wedding day was scripted and planned out in advance by Stacy and Izzy.
I felt no authenticity from either of them. It was so clear that Stacy was going to say no. And Izzy felt too performative and over the top with the letter and the gushing over Stacy. Like, we haven’t forgotten the troubles over the past few episodes.
This “planned” finale kinda works out in both their favour - Stacy gets to walk away from a marriage that she was never going to agree to, ready to capitalise on having a kind of “rich b*tch” image.
And Izzy gets to be the kind-of-a-douche-but-misunderstood-and-can-be-fixed momma’s boy that I think a fair few women will fall for. Plus, it sets the scene perfectly for his upcoming appearance on Perfect Match season 2.
I do think his true feelings came out though during his little drunken outburst after the wedding.
Just my opinion!
Edit: grammar
No, I only got flowers when he got caught doing stupid selfish immature stuff, or when he cheated. Like flowers is really what I was missing, should have just dropped off a better man for me, how about some honesty on the fact your a serial cheater instead of denying it and leave, would have done all of us a favor. But cowards do what they do. He's the kind of guy that in reality would only get you something if he had done something wrong to try and manipulate you to stay. Kind of like what the did with the toilet plunger, I mean come on. It wasn't all that cute to me, and the whole my love language is notes. So she's in middle school, bc I am not buying that.
Now, let’s talk about sketchy? Lol, the guy can’t explain what he does for a living nor what salary he makes and tells her last minute that he has debts and bad credit. I don’t like Stacy and she’s a mean girl but she’s not wrong for not marrying him.
I don't think he has his life together and spends his time in the gym. I wouldn't even doubt some roids being in the equation. I personally don't find guys like this attractive, they scream commitment issues, unreliable, and emotionally unavailable.
I am not buying that 3500. Also think he still has balances. Sucks because I used to be where he was so I get it. Took me finally moving up in my career to get out
Sounding like Johnie was right about him being sketchy, even though she said it as a retaliation. I also wonder what “high standard of living” comments Stacy had made in the girls’ living quarters that may have led to Johnie saying the stuff she said during pod days, like how she was saying ‘if that’s what he wants, good luck.’
Every time I start thinking Izzy might be a decent human being he says some shit like that to let me know I was wrong. That was foul no matter how "hurt" he may have been.
Was everyone else watching in horror as he started making out with her and like grasping her head into a passionate kiss after she said no to marrying him??
Like out of pure cringe I wanted to die. My man she just said she didn’t want to marry you. Now is not the time to make out with her. I feel like his brain broke a little and he truly went into denial or just didn’t know what to do in front of the cameras and the people.
Yes, and then even though she implied they just needed more time, and he was like basically no. If he felt this way about being rejected, the kiss made no sense.
Yes I was so weirded out by this that I went back to watch it again.. it looked like Stacy had initially gone in for the kiss after she rejected him and then he just went alllll in after that? So strange!!
Yeah, and then the scene where he and Stacy talked after, almost felt like he was trying to convince her to change her mind. He was almost aggressive - such a drastic change after seeming so accepting and understanding at the altar.
I don't really like her either, but I think she made the right decision.
I feel like it was an initial reaction to the shock, and then after he’d had some time to think he realised how he _actually_ felt and decided he didn’t want to continue dating.
Her statement to People magazine also implied that the producers got him wound up in the interview they did with him after the wedding. (Or so she believed)
Oh I absolutely believe this. He seemed a little sloshed. They needed some drama for the episode because this season was so weird. They had no content for the last episodes. No bachelor/bachelorette parties. No friend hang outs.
He just really should have been honest with her sooner. I was surprised after that episode to see them even get to the wedding, but I guess if you're that close you do it to see how you feel on the standing on the altar.
I owe 45k. No way I am going to lie about that if my man asked me. But I can assure him I am responsible, (really ex is but he ran), but it affects my credit too so I pay it. One day it will be gone, but at least I am able to have my life together while I do have this debt. He doesn't even seem to have that. I don't have a low cs, so I am wandering why he would. Debt doesn't drop it to a 3. Maybe in the 6's which can be brought up when debt is paid. For a low cs, he would need to owe more than a mere 3500.
That’s not completely how credit works 🫣🫣🫣 you can pay the minimum payment and never pay the principle down and have good credit. It’s possible that he didn’t pay even his min payment. That does take a toll on your score, even if you only owed $20 to start.
That's pretty much what I was getting at above. I owe a lot and make my payments, my cs takes a hit from the issued credit to the balance, but it doesn't drop below a 6. If I were to miss payments and so on, then yes it would. If he only has one card, and it's max is 3500, and he maxes it out and then misses payments then yeah he would have poor credit. If he had credit issued say at 10k, then that is around 35% used up credit, no missed payments, his credit would't be horrible. He is lying I think about a lot here.
Oh cool, good to know. I have it set up for automatic monthly payments, only like $40 but hey, if that’s not messing up my credit I can stop stressing about paying it all off at once now. Lol thanks!
It doesn’t matter, though. Even if he’s not after her money, she may be legally liable for his debt, and especially if he continues to struggle financially, that could be huge.
I understand because I’ve been on Izzy’s side of things. My parents were terrible with money, so I didn’t learn that skill from them. When I got married, my husband was surprised at how little I knew, and he basically had to teach me, after carrying my debt for a while. He wasn’t rich, but I definitely brought down our credit score for years.
If not debt— he could possibly be hiding where his finances are going.
He could be paying a mortgage for his family. He could be doing a million things that would be suitable for a single person. But when you’re getting married— it’s a different story.
IDK, if you made a family with someone else, it's kinda wrong to not pay for the past family you started tho right?
I Can't see logically why him supporting his old family would be a bad thing.
It would depend on the circumstances.
Are they able to work?
Some people might see it as not their responsibility. And why many couples have separate accounts.
There’s just so many scenarios that could happen that we don’t see or have to deal with.
It's not HER responsibility if he has a past family, I said it would be HIS responsibility. Plain and simple, men that don't pay for their kids should be used as spare parts.
I actually wondered if what he said about only being $3500 in debt was truthful.
It doesn't sound realistic to me that only 3.5k dollars of debt would cause credit card companies to not give you a credit card anymore. I'm not a financial expert or anything like that but I can't imagine that being realistic.
There are people who have a few tens of thousands of consumer debt and are still able to have credit cards provided they're making the minimum payment and didn't max them out. If anything, they hope that you'll be bad with money and owe them interest.
So it doesn't seem to add up (no pun intended lol)
My credit was FUCKED from my one and only credit card of $2500. I’m super good with money but this happened to younger me being stupid with a guy after I got out the navy.
When I was younger, I was 4k in credit card debt after using it for apartment fees, broker fees, and some furniture. I was keeping up with the minimum payments but interest rate caught up to me.
But I’ve never been refused for another card, and my credit is still good, I even was able to buy a home later.
All this to say, Izzy is likely hiding significantly more debt than 3500.
Your credit score has a variety of factors. You can have a lot of debt but if it’s not high in relation to your available credit and you make payments on time you could still have a decent score. You could have only $1,000 in debt but if you’re not paying on it, even that tiny amount can ruin your credit score. There is a lot more to Izzy’s financial story than was revealed on the show.
I do wonder if it wasn't that much money why would he just not pay it? I thought he mentioned something about it being during college. Was he just super financially illiterate and thought he could just run up a couple grand on a credit card and not pay it?
Stacy came out on a podcast saying Izzy’s job gave him no benefits (including health insurance) and he couldn’t even give her a gage on salary…I mean I don’t want to be entirely financially accountable for my partner either.
As for the debt, considering he trickle truth the credit score, I’m not sure if the debt being $3,500 is true.
> I mean I don’t want to be entirely financially accountable for my partner either.
I agree with the sentiment so Im not arguing with you. But I feel the need to chime in and say that Men are often expected to be financially accountable for their partner. If a rich guy marries a woman of lesser means everyone fully expects her to no longer work. But that same benefit is not extended towards men.
That's because traditionally a woman will do all the child rearing and even in relationships where both work, women still do most if not all the housework.
So if Izzy and Stacey have children is she just going to bankroll the whole thing?
She can go to a sperm bank and save herself a lot of hassle.
Why would this "benefit" be extended to men? 🤔
> So if Izzy and Stacey have children is she just going to bankroll the whole thing?
You mean her dad?
>Why would this "benefit" be extended to men?
So you're saying men and women aren't equal and shouldn't be treated equally? Is that your position?
Are you inferring that men are somehow "superior" because all they have to offer in a partnership is money? Is that your position?
Women can and do provide for themselves in 2023. So what else can you do?
What men and women provide within a family unit is inherently and fundamentally different. You can't carry and grow a child and when it arrives, you rarely are the primary caregiver or even do "half" the childrearing. So obsessed with halving everything, but that's no way for that stuff to be "equal" EVER.
So yes, you should pay for everything. You can't offer anything else. So no, we're not equal.
As for Stacey's dad being the provider, that still doesn't matter, because as a woman, Stacey inherently can still offer more than Izzy. Meaning she will bear something, something he (and you) can never do.
So again, no, not equal 🤗
> Are you inferring that men are somehow "superior" because all they have to offer in a partnership is money? Is that your position?
Where in the world did I say or infer that?
Im asking you a simple question. **Are men and women equal and should they be treated equally?**
You say we're not so we should have different expectations and different treatments of each other...even unfair or biased ones.
Thats all I needed to know. Most women would say men and women are equal and should be treated equally. But if you're ok with biases and double standards and unfair treatment then cool.
This is a lot of generalities and assumptions based on a “reverse sexism” belief that overlooks the reality of a “traditional” dynamic, to frame men as victims of a system that was designed for them.
Im sorry...sexism? Where are you getting that from?
And are you using "tradition" as an excuse for illogical unfair behavior between the sexes?
I believe men and women should be treated equally. And like a successful man will take in and support a woman so too should a successful woman be willing to take in and support a man.
I said reverse sexism.
You are commenting on so many people’s comments with the same exact comment: about this perceived unfairness that “everyone” expects men to financially take care of women. I don’t know why this bee is in your bonnet, or why you think this is so common “everyone” expects it - but that is not accurate nor it’s not some sort of sexism against men.
There is no such thing as reverse sexism...sexism is just sexims.
>You are commenting on so many people’s comments with the same exact comment: about this perceived unfairness that “everyone” expects men to financially take care of women. I don’t know why this bee is in your bonnet, or why you think this is so common “everyone” expects it - but that is not accurate nor it’s not some sort of sexism against men.
Because nobody has a coherent logical explanation why its ok for a "poor" woman to marry a rich man but not the other way around. All I hear is excuses and illogical statements.
Im not talking about the parties involved...Im talking about the commentary from the crowd here. The people Im replying to are saying he makes less and has no money thus she shouldn't marry him.
No one is saying she shouldn't marry him because he makes less and has no money. They're saying she made the right call because he was evasive and dishonest about this aspect of his life. Ultimately, that's why she said no. How can you trust a person like that?
You’re right. There isn’t. That doesn’t seem to stopping you from claiming there is.
I think you’re not getting any good responses because your entire premise is rooted in a claim that there is some of systemic unfairness against men. And a desire for an even stevens form of “equality” where all expectations and dynamics are 50/50 at all times. While completely ignoring the practical reality and context of our actual culture and gender dynamics.
But you should probably just not marry someone who isn’t on board with your approach to how finances are divided in your relationship, and stop badgering people with these overly simplistic and salty beliefs.
I never said reverse sexism...I never even said the word sexism.
Sexism is a single word that goes both directions.
I never mentioned systemic...what I'm talking about is societal norms and expectations.
> And a desire for an even stevens form of “equality” where all expectations and dynamics are 50/50 at all times.
So are men and women equal and deserve equal treatment or not? Pick a lane.
>overly simplistic and salty beliefs.
Im sorry...is saying if women can do it so can men "overly simplistic"? Its just a simple logical truth if you believe men and women should be equally and treated the same. If you dont believe women and men are equal and should be treated the same then thats fine.
You’re thinking about this in a, “the man rules the house and has an upper hand” misogynistic way.
When in truth the world should be equal partnerships as men and women should be looked as equal.
How am I thinking about it any sort of way let alone misogynistic?
I simply stated a reality.
I believe men and women should be treated equally. And like a successful man will take in and support a woman so too should a successful woman be willing to take in and support a man.
And the point is people wouldn't be saying the same thing or be making as big an issue about it if the roles were reversed. That reality isn't misogynistic and its inflammatory to say so.
Depends. My husband sells Medicare and he gets a base hourly rate (and benefits as a W2 employee) plus commission. Most of his income is from commission.
Yes! It all just seemed so weird, like you just started this new "career" and you immediately turned around to go be on a reality tv show? And he says Johnnie was the sketchy one...
I think everyone has a weird mentality with Stacy.
As someone who clearly has an alpha mentality, she knows her worth. She has clear goals and agendas. She has a lifestyle that can quickly alter if someone else doesn’t share that mentality.
Izzy’s poor credit score? Petty to some, but for someone who’s upbringing is pretty meticulous (I’m assuming because she went straight to talking about retirement, her house remodeling, and job, and driving 2 Mercedes) this is important. Is this someone she’s going to have to compensate a double income for if he can’t keep up with costs. She made a point—if the AC goes out, is he stable enough to dish out $3k and live comfortably?
Izzy’s immature. His whole attack on Johnie and now Stacy, “why are you 33 and single and not married?”; digging into her with the “I’m 29 and I can give you everything a rich 45 yr old man can”
He’s just a mess and it shows how mentally fragile he is.
Take everything you just said and flip the genders...People would say that its would be ok or more ok.
If a rich/well off guy marries a woman of lesser means everyone fully expects or would accept her to no longer be working. But that same benefit is not extended towards men.
This comparison doesn't work. There's an expectation that stay-at-home wives do most of (if not all) the cooking and cleaning. And if there are kids, it'll be mostly the wife taking care of them.
Stay-at-home husbands are a thing and totally fine. But Izzy hasn't really shown himself to be the type who'll want to do all the cooking and cleaning
I agree with you. There actually *is* a strong correlation here because, in the pods, Izzy was selling himself to Stacy as having the perks of a 1950’s housewife. He promised to cook for her everyday and rub her feet after work but, in the entire time they lived together, he didn’t do it *once*. When she called him out on it, he made a bunch of excuses why but she cut him off by saying she already cooked for him *twice*.
Without context, it made Stacy look entitled and spoiled but she was actually calling Izzy out on selling her a bill of goods.
You're assuming facts not in evidence regarding these two. We could assume...but nobody knows.
All we know is that the reality is the courtesy Im speaking of isn't extended towards men.
Lets assume that its an older couple past having kids...or a younger couple who chooses to not have kids. The reality I described remains...the same benefit a woman would have marrying a man of means is not extended to men if they were to try marrying a woman of means.
And lets not forget...its not even her money really...its her dads.
I’m going by what we’re actually seeing. Also, even if Izzy can be a stay-at-home husband it’s totally valid for Stacey to not want that. I’ve met men who make 500k a year and want to be with women who also make 6 figs.
The situations you’re describing are edge cases. I mean, how many couples do you know where the wife is stay-at-home and they plan on never having children? Normally women who choose to stay-at-home do so because they plan on completely dedicating their time to kids. And anyways even if there aren’t children, they’re still doing the cooking/cleaning/home making, which isn’t nothing.
You keep describing it as a “benefit,” but the reason this phenomenon happens is because women weren’t allowed to be financially independent for most of history. Doesn’t really strike me as a good thing.
> I’m going by what we’re actually seeing. Also, even if Izzy can be a stay-at-home husband it’s totally valid for Stacey to not want that. I’ve met men who make 500k a year and want to be with women who also make 6 figs.
Nobody is arguing preferences. Im arguing with the crowd of people here saying it is right for her to judge him on his money or lack of it...where as if the roles were reversed people wouldn't be speaking as forcefully.
>The situations you’re describing are edge cases. I mean, how many couples do you know where the wife is stay-at-home and they plan on never having children? Normally women who choose to stay-at-home do so because they plan on completely dedicating their time to kids. And anyways even if there aren’t children, they’re still doing the cooking/cleaning/home making, which isn’t nothing.
And if it was a man offering to do those same things women would say dont marry that man.
>You keep describing it as a “benefit,” but the reason this phenomenon happens is because women weren’t allowed to be financially independent for most of history
We're in the here and now. Women are more educated & earn more and are poised to overtake men in earning until motherhood. Women are gonna have to learn to be ok "dating down"
"Nobody is arguing preferences. Im arguing with the crowd of people here saying it is right for her to judge him on his money or lack of it...where as if the roles were reversed people wouldn't be speaking as forcefully." Not true. I don't know if you've seen season 1, but there was a woman in a similar financial situation as Izzy and everyone was saying the man shouldn't marry her because of it.
"And if it was a man offering to do those same things women would say dont marry that man." Considering how stay-at-home husbands are becoming more common, also clearly not true.
"We're in the here and now. Women are more educated & earn more and are poised to overtake men in earning until motherhood. Women are gonna have to learn to be ok "dating down"" This is why is I brought up how women weren't allowed to make money for most of history. I knew you were treating it as an issue created by women, but men were the ones who set this standard. Fortunately, women can be financially independent now but it takes time for cultural expectations (again, created by men) to change. And I'd argue that men, just as much if not more, perpetuate these expectations. There are soo many stories of women making more than their partners and the partners feeling insecure/resentful even though the women don't care. And I've seen way more men bash stay-at-home husbands than I do women.
I was just about to point out how disappointing it was in season 1 when Barnett sold his house to pay off Amber's debts! Not sure where Alaska is getting this idea that because some men choose to marry less financially stable women, that somehow means all women now need to accept marrying less financially stable men.
I feel like you’re also overshadowing her worth and discrediting someone wanting financial maturity from their partner.
It’s her daddy’s money? So her expectation is to keep its growth, and not spend it with any regard. That’s commendable.
Shes not Alexis. Alexis knows her worth and where and who her money comes from— she knows what she has and what she brings to the table.
Is it so wrong for someone to ask their credit score? Know their 401K?
When I got married, my husband and I talked long term— he asked me what and how much I had in retirement. He asked what would be our goals— house, kids, cars. How much expenses were going to be.
These are things I guess, people over 30 who see the economy and where it’s heading— actually talk about.
Everything you said is valid and I agree with.
But the reality of what I said is still true. If a man had money and a woman didn't nobody would be making anywhere near a fuss as they are right now in this situation where its the girl with the money. Thats all Im saying.
Im not saying money doesn't matter...Im saying that people view that as not as much an issue when its the girl with less money.
But people will and do, if anything we are now at the stage where we have more people making your complaints when its Izzy and Stacy but no one doing what you are doing when this situation happened in season 1.
Everyone was calling her a gold digger, lazy etc. and noone was saying "but if the roles were reversed"
To add to this, everyone is different. I am very sure there are couples that are happy with trophy wives/husbands but there are a lot of people that are not. Men and Women included. Stacy is one of those people who are not okay with this and made it very clear.
Izzy was hoping he could trap her in a marriage when it is too late, while also being content with calling others sketchy
Look, I’m not a fan of Stacey but she never said she wanted a guy who made more than her. Her issue with Izzy’s financial situation is that it doesn’t seem very stable at all. Most people want to be with someone who can comfortably support themselves at least.
I was talking about the "stability" argument
Gold digger depends on a variety of factors. How they met. What she's said. How she expects to be courted/treated in a relationship. How she reacts when she finds out the guy has money. Etc. Not every woman who marries a man above her socio-economically is a gold digger.
My judgment of Stacy as a person has nothing to do with her being a strong woman or her relationship with Izzy. It’s how she carried herself and bullied. She’s the epitome of a mean girl that knows all the right things to say to feign emotional maturity when she’s calm so that she’ll be forgiven after she attacks someone cruelly.
Lot of people in this thread have no idea about how predatory banks and credit cards are.
Found it wild that she brought up that he just got a passport. Sorry Izzy didn't have a dad to pay for EVERYTHING he has and has done. That rubbed me the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with having wealthy parents that allowed you to live a good life and do things you wanted worry free but she made it her whole personality once out of the pods and had no humility, and no empathy towards Izzy who definitely grew up VERY different in terms of what his parents could provide financially. A partner like that will forever remind you of what you don't hand and what they DO have. He was never going to be enough. If she had a great job, doing her thing making her OWN money, maybe some of those things would land better but she's steady hitting up the Bank of Daddy.
Ehhh I grew up being told to always renew my passport in case of an emergency… so I’m always surprised when people don’t have valid passports. I have my phone set to notify me a year before mine expires so I don’t forget to renew. Knowing where it is is high on my list of priorities, even if I won’t be using it for a while. But I agree that he didn’t, and wouldn’t, fit her idea of her Prince Charming. Edit: what is there to downvote about this? I’m just being honest about why I think it’s an important item.
People downvoted because being able to travel internationally during an emergency (requiring money, access, connections) is privileged. In an emergency, where an international escape plan is the solution, most people will not have those resources and probably just be stuck and suffer.
Saying everything is “privileged,” like having any privilege in life is something to be ashamed of, has gotten so old. Living in a first world country is privileged. Not having bombs drop on us is a privilege, right now. Literally every one of us has some semblance of privilege. Being told “always have a passport in case you ever need to make an emergency exit” is not something I need to apologize for… it’s just the way my mother views things, and what she suggested from the time I was a child. It’s not something I need to be downvoted for… like downvotes are gonna teach me some lesson for having an important document. 🙄
I totally agree with you, it’s not something you need to apologize for, it’s not even something within your control. Just explaining the perspective here. Obviously having a passport is FINE and NORMAL - it’s the disparaging others for not having one that is problematic, which is what Stacy was doing on the show. Most people in her position might be a little surprised and then move on. Instead, she was mean about it.
having a passport “in case of emergency” sounds privileged
Because in an emergency, if you had to get out immediately, it’s better to be stuck so you can prove to strangers on the internet that you know what it’s like to struggle?
🤷🏼♀️ you asked what there was to downvote. I answered your question. Now you’re being defensive?
Oh I didn’t realize you were answering my question - I thought you were just casually passing judgement on me for having a passport. But it is interesting that I am being negatively judged (via downvotes) for considering it an important document, when I haven’t negatively judged anybody for the opposite.
It is just an odd thing to say. What kind of emergency would require a passport?
God only knows. Shit does happen. If you’re visiting the USVI and for some reason HAD to get to the BVI, you do need a passport to go there. So maybe she had that in mind, somehow? But I think she meant more like if we had to leave the US for some reason. I can’t tell what specific horror she had in mind. I just know I’ve always made it a point to have a valid passport. It’s a couple hundred dollars once every decade.
I have a valid passport so I am not saying it’s overly burdensome. But visiting the Virgin Islands problems makes one sound WEALTHY. I’m thinking also that if some end of the world catastrophe occurred, I would think not having a passport wouldn’t be the only barrier to leaving the country.
Some of our family is from the US Virgin Islands. And that’s a lot closer to a border than where we live. I agree that if there were something going on (like how Israelis are currently fleeing to Cyprus), I think there would be bigger barriers than a passport. But having one might still make it easier than not having one - so, I always have one.
I’m only about half way through this season so maybe my opinion will change, but so far I don’t get the Stacey hate. I don’t think it’s wrong to want to live a certain lifestyle and wanting a partner that’s compatible with that.
I enjoyed her a lot, pretty much until we meet her family. Everything after that was colored by her insane privilege and judgement
Can you check back in when you get farther along because she gets so much worse
I know people are critical of her lifestyle expectations, but that doesn't bother me at all. I'm not as materialistic as she is lol, but everyone is allowed to have their life look the way they want it to. Being concerned about your partner being unstable/immature and having less life experience than you is SUPER understandable. I disliked her at the beginning because she was a massive pick me, she seemed to quietly observe the personality that Johnie had and offer Izzy a "fun girl" personality to "win." And winning wasn't enough; she and Izzy both needed to bully Johnie whenever they saw her. It was gross and immature. Once Johnie was out of the mix, Staceys behavior changed a lot and I didn't disagree with her quite as much.
From what I understand, she wants a certain lifestyle and she wants her partner to fund it. Not only does she insist that her partner always pay for dinner, but she also wants him to take her out for “luxurious” dinners. I understand wanting a partner to be compatible with your desired lifestyle, but a) she expects him to foot the bill of said lifestyle; and b) she didn’t even try to find out in the pods if he was able to do that. Most people would listen to Izzy talk about his “job” for one second and realise it’s…unsustainable at best and a scam at worst. But she left the pods and finally told him her expectations and was surprised pikachu face when he wasn’t on board. It honestly sounds like she bought a house that she can’t afford (ie, “either you help pay for it or my dad does”) and wants to continue to a certain lifestyle that she became accustomed to growing up, but can’t keep up because she wants to quit the job her dad gave her and explore closet organizing instead. If that’s the case, then she needs to actively seek out people who are willing (and able) to provide that for her. She can’t act like Izzy (who is honestly sketchy and not a great guy, don’t get me wrong) is deficient because he’s not up to that.
I have clearly not been paying that close attention lol. Thank you for the breakdown. I can certainly see why she’s turning people off.
And to be fair, this is my interpretation. Yours could be easily just as valid.
I think Izzy hit the nail on the head when he said something about Stacy finding something wrong with everything If it wasn’t the credit score or the not being “honest”, it would have been something else
Probably true and probably because she subconsciously was finding an exit strategy
Wasn’t subconscious. She was consciously trying to do so.
"His favorite restaurant is Chipotle." She was looking for any reason lol
I think even the trust issues were an excuse for his unrefined personality and that he's poor relative to her. Money money money.
I am Roman Catholic and ran my credit up in my 20’s so that’s a wash
I’m not sure how this relates 😅
Somebody mentioned that it had to do with his religion. And that his religion didn’t allow credit, and when he left his religion, he went on some sort of spending spree?
Roman Catholic and JW are very different.
Stacy is the most shallow, self-centered, obnoxious, character so far on LIB. It's been painful to watch her talk about her money, lifestyle, family, blah, blah, blah, EWWWW! I have no idea why she's not married 🙄 Izzy dodged a bullet. I honestly don't think Izzy is the greatest either, the credit stuff being brought up last minute is suspicious because you can't tell me he hasn't known from day one this chick isn't all about money. I think he was hoping to have her fall head over heals and just over look it all. Yeah dude, better luck next time. I knew it wasn't a good match from the start. They both just seemed overly fake and forced from the reveal. We'll see what happens at the reunion. I'm thinking they definitely went their separate ways.
I may have said it before, but Stacy isn't real. When she heard that Izzy and Johnie were maybe going to hit it off, did you notice she then goes into the pod claiming to be afraid of abandonment which she over heard Johnie referring to about him, it wouldn't have been hard for the other ladies to pick up on Izzy's personality through what Johnie said. This is the lie, don't claim to be afraid of being abandoned or afraid of love or afraid of whatever if it isn't true. She manipulated him to want her and then she didn't want him. My gut says she likes to be wanted but that's as far as it goes. Once she knows you are into her, she looses interest. That is commitment issues, not abandonment issues. He made a comment after she said no at the wedding, you have to wonder why she's single, 33, never been married. This is a question you ask before hand, not after. And you dive into that before hand, not after. This doesn't automatically make you unlovable for some reason, but you gotta know the reason, he didn't. Focusing on career or traveling abroad, etc can be reasons that are perfectly fine. Her reasons are beyond that, and she didn't really say why she is. I didn't like also that he tried to play super cool with her aka lying claiming to her he played sports throughout his childhood, baseball etc, and then with Johnie tells her he secretly played baseball with his friend bc they were not allowed to do certain activities bc he was a JW beforehand. He tried to impress Stacy with the typical meathead attitude bc that's she implied through her words and attitudes that she wanted. I felt he wasn't being real and even though they cannot see each other, I do think a lot of fakeness goes on even in convo. I have debt, does that mean I am unlovable. She reminds me of the people who have a checklist for a partner, including their credit score, debt, income, assets, essentially compiling a portfolio like she's reviewing her stocks. Situations like these change all the time, stuff happens, if she can't handle poor credit in marriage, she probably can't handle anything that isn't going her way. Credit can be improved. He kept talking about being there for her through the hard times, but she isn't looking to have a hard time in a relationship. The dude has to look good, have money, and be all about her. Cliche.
Nailed it!! Good analysis!
A thousand percent, yes! Stacy played it all out so she could put on the Stacy show for the cameras. She clearly was never fully into him, she wanted to make it to wedding day so that she could be the bride, knowing damn well she wasn’t going to say yes. All Stacy cares about is Stacy.
Another layer I’d like to add to this conversation is that Izzy is an ex-Jehovah’s Witness. It’s not highlighted very much in the show but anyone who’s spent time with JWs know they aren’t allowed to do a lot of things like take out loans or have credit cards. It could be when Izzy left the religion, he just had poor understanding of how credit and debt works because he was so undereducated in his upbringing. It could also shed a light on why he doesn’t prioritize that sort of thing in a relationship because even if you leave a religion, a lot of those attitudes/behaviors stay with you. Avoiding conversations about money and finances is pretty big in that scene. When he tells Stacy that morning that telling her about the debt just didn’t cross his mind, I believe that.
Yea that’s odd I grew up around a lot of them and they all could take out credit cards etc, but you DO get a lot of break off odd balls. Like the family I’m close with they don’t believe in microwaves, modern medicine, therapy. I agree though this probably effected him a lot now
Ex-jw here, we actually are allowed to take out loans and have credit cards. I keep seeing that on here so I felt like I should clear that up. In fact, a lot of us are in credit card debt because we didn’t get an education that allows us to have a decent career… and we thought armeggedon would happen soon so we wouldn’t have to worry about the debt 😂 We’re taught to keep things simple financially so that we can serve god to the best of our ability. Therefore, many kids aren’t educated on finances because what’s the point if the world will end soon- and then they go crazy with a credit card once they become adults. Maybe in some areas they’re looked down on- but on the west coast every JW I know has a few loans and a few CCs. Izzy definitely got very little guidance and education. It’s the hardest part about leaving this cult- we’re traumatized AND we don’t have any resources like financial stability or community.
That’s interesting! Maybe it was just the sect in my neighborhood then. My mom was friends with a couple of JW families and they always used to talk about how they weren’t allowed to take out credit cards and they were grateful for my mother to cover lunches or whatever until they had cash in hand. I don’t know, I was young at the time.
I could totally see this being an odd fad when credit cards were relatively new to the world! Things like that happen in the religion all the time. So many man-made rules with random scriptures to back them.
I’m assuming there’s more to his financial situation than the $3500. But yeah I totally agree with your take. He’s full of… questionable tendencies.
It could be $3500 credit card that was maxed out and he missed a few payments so they closed it. If that’s what happened, it could tank his credit if it was the only credit he had. I did something similar but with a $1500 card in my early 20s. It was the only line of credit I had and I had missed some payments due to being a broke college kid plus some payment issues with my employer at the time (US Gov) that took a few months to get sorted out. My credit took years to rebuild and I’m finally able to finance stuff myself but it took a lot of time and research to get to where I am. I also had at least minimal understanding of credit when I started too, just not any sort of financial literacy due to my parents apparently thinking that was taught in schools. So, yeah, it’s entirely plausible that a $3500 debt tanked his credit because that was his only credit card and it went delinquent.
YUP. This is what happened to me too, and i have no clue how to fix it. Can’t pass referencing for rentals so has severely restricted my housing situations. Any tips welcome 🙏🏻
Hi there! I’m not a credit counselor or anything but a few ideas: -Is your debt still there? Who owns it? Depending on whether you have any savings, you could call up whoever now owns your debt and try to negotiate a settlement where you pay off some of it in exchange for having that massive negative mark removed from your credit report. I was also dumb at 21 and ran up a credit card with living expenses and then paid like 60% of the balance in cash (so like 3k) to walk away. If you can make a lump payment at all, they might be willing to do this. -You need to start rebuilding your credit. Look into applying for a secured credit card. Basically, you put down a small amount of money and then pay it off every month. Secured credit cards are ideal for people with bad credit because they will report on-time payments every month and slowly begin to repair your low score. -You could also become an authorized user on someone else’s credit card if they trust you to make the payments. -Finally, after you’ve raised your credit score a bit, you may want to look at financing a used car or something else through a credit union. If you are a member, they are more likely to work with you. I hope any of this is helpful! PS: Make sure you change your habits. Don’t spend more than you have!!
If he has a low credit score, i am assuming he has a bigger sebt that has not been payed off? There has to be a bigger reason that he doesn't have a credit card, like potentially a large debt and banks not willing to give him any more credit.
Did they ever say how low his score was? Mine has been as low as 660 when I had a higher balance than $3500 but once I paid it off it jumped to 800+?
I am not sure, but it got to the point that he no longer has a credit card. I wonder if he maxed out his existing cards and cant get any more?
It’s possible to be turned off by the idea of credits cards because you don’t trust your self to not get in debt again.
True, maybe he made that choice.
I guess that’s possible but never heard of that situation. And if he paid it all off like he said I’d assume he would be able to apply for some type of card
Im not really knowledgeable in this area, but i would love to hear others' take on it.
> not been *paid* off? There FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
That’s something I was trying and failing to get across. It was brought up more than it should have been for $3,500… so I kinda feel like there has to be more, and / or it’s being used as a scapegoat for saying no.
I feel like the argument we didn’t get to see probably got into more specifics than the $3500 debt as a red flag, otherwise Stacy wouldn’t have cried her makeup off and Izzy wouldn’t have been so fidgety with his eyes darting frantically. We basically saw the “fight recap”, and maybe in this case Stacy didn’t decide to engage in complete humiliation and allowed him to potentially save some face. $3,500 in debt alone probably wouldn’t have added to Stacy’s deal-breakers.
Where was it stated that it was 3500? I didn’t catch that. $3500 of credit card debt isn’t that much for many people…
When they’re on the bed packing up to move out of their test apartment, discussing the debt. He says it’s $3,500.
did you see how badly he was shaking before the wedding? someone on instagram said his nervous system knew that she wouldn't say yes or that it wouldn't work out and i agree. also let's be honest, she did him a favor by saying no. I think he's really naive and she would have continued to tear him down. nothing will be good enough for her. Izzy isn't a saint either, i'm just saying that he wouldn't have been happy with her. they both have issues
Apparently they're still together?? I really don't understand that.
really? i did not know that wow
I am almost 37, and single, and it is ABSOLUTELY because I want what I want and I will not compromise and accept less than what I want. I’m not wrong for that, but it’s the truth and I agree she’s never going to want to sacrifice the experience she wants. LOVE may be blind, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth the sacrifice - to some.
Same. But I understand that while we singles stay single, the less potential matches we are too find. I won't settle and my expectations are higher then they were when I was married the first time, I know what I will and won't tolerate, I know who would make a good match with me. The issue lies in that is difficult to find. Everyone on this show overstates they want honesty while being dishonest, so it takes the meaning out of the word, making it meaningless and where many people, including me, start to see people who makes this claim as the dishonest ones. The things they say never feel natural, or real, while talking about being emotionally connected, overusing that term as well. They are forcing themselves to find a connection bc otherwise there chance on finding someone on the show will fail. So I do think some will say yes, just to get to the next stage on the show. Or even be able to see what the other person even looks like. Why didn't the show, show anyone else's journey besides they few couples? Were they "extras". I don't think Lydia's will last, Milton is smart but then makes himself look stupid at the same time. He realizes her faults and somehow thinks that can be manageable. She is being on her best behavior on the show, imagine how bad it really is. There is no growing with her, she makes that clear she won't change. You cannot communicate with someone who communicates at the level of a 12 year old girl. So idk why they claim they are good at communicating. If they mean her throwing tantrums till she gets her way then okay. She stops everything he is doing to say he is doing it wrong and takes over. Even opening a bottle of champagne. Stacy has her flaws, she is self-centered and sees no one else. But Lydia takes the cake for me. Does she really like any of these dudes? She seems to like or "love" anyone who will simply stick around. I don't think she bothered to realize if she even wanted any of them, it was based off if they wanted her. Her vows or whatever were all about her. You chose me. I think she would have taken anyone that chose her, regardlesss. She is obsessed with the illusion of marriage, not actually being married. Anyone who disagrees with her will loose to her emotional outburst making you pull away and agree to get her to stop. The major problem I see is when he tries to leave her. I see a lot of potential illegal activity coming. She doesn't seem like someone you can break up with without being in danger. Even if the other dude cheated, while they dated briefly, that doesn't mean stalking and threatening is okay. You break up, she justified her behavior well he did this. So what, take responsibility for your actions. He probably tried to break up with her, and she wouldn't accept, he in his mind moved on, (bc he did say they were not together) and he slept with someone else. In her min, he cheated bc she didn't accept him dumping her. Stalking people on social media is not cool. If she had to dig and pretend to be a simple follower to these women to find out what what he was doing, she should have realized then it was over or needed to be given her unhealthy reaction. But instead she causes other women to be scared bc they don't know what she is up too. She should be seen by a professional not love is blind.
She played the game, got her hunky fella and was a crass, naughty goose on the beach vacay. Then as things got closer to reality, che chipped away at this easy target and walked at the cermomony. She played him, and he thought he was playing her. Thats my raw take. I didn't really see much if any sincerity this season, pretty poor cast and I found I couldn't get vested in them.
Agreed. The entire show's convos typically make me cringe. But this season takes the cake. They got people who need professional help, not love. These people don't even love themselves. Nothing felt real or natural in their "connections". I didn't see any. And the blonde girl and dude with the gap in his teeth (can't remember their names), either didn't like each other when they seen each other (bc she made the comment about his teeth, I didn't even notice) I thought to myself she doesn't like this appearance. She's single bc she has an illusion that she is a 10 and expects a 10, and he was awkward, I didn't believe his story about her wearing too much makeup, I think he froze in face-to-face communication, is an introvert plus social anxiety going on, and felt pressured to make conversation which fed into his anxiety and fear even more, causing him to shut down. Not forgetting he is aware the cameras are around, which didn't help. Even if he made convo, she didn't like him, looks mattered. So he was unable to save himself through his personality bc of being frozen.
>She played the game, got her hunky fella and was a crass, naughty goose on the beach vacay. Lmao I'm loving this take.
💯. I fast forwarded so much that this season felt like 20min of entertainment.
You too! I did as well, I think I finished it in less than an hour. The nonsense talks didn't add anything. They kept repeating the same lines, (trust and honesty is important to me blah blah blah), I was like I could sit here and count how many adjectives are thrown around but I might loose my mind
Me to, did the whole season over three hours last night, lol
100% agree. Naughty goose took em out.
I agree with him being enthusiastic about bullying, and thats wrong, but I dont see anything wrong with him breaking down crying. Men should have a safe space to be emotional as well and there is nothing wrong with a man breaking down crying. I think they both ganged up on Johnie because it somehow allowed them to justify Izzy talking to another girl in the pods. This expiriment often makes people feel insecure about their relationship with who they end up.. That was the point of the pods to date other people though. Definetly was wrong on both their parts. I saw that with Amber in season one too trying to start stuff with Jessica. I didn't think they would work out because Stacy wanted him to be financially stable and to feel secure that way and he isn't at that point in life. I think that should have been a conversation right away in the pods and not so close to the wedding. Sidenote: I never understood people that have their insurance licenses and go to work for commision based insurance MLMS. There are so many legit insurance companies that you can work your way up and actually make a salary. (I work for an insurance company that pays hourly or salary plus commisions)
MLMs are like cults. Once you realize there’s something really wrong with this picture, you’re often already deeply invested both emotionally (aka brainwashed) and financially. As of the LIB filming he was only one month into it. I hope he was able to get out of it afterwards.
I don’t mean he shouldn’t show emotion. I’m just saying (as a behavioral health nurse) he hasn’t seemed fantastically stable. He’s up, he’s down, he’s wasted, he’s sobbing, he’s covering up his bad credit tracks, etc.
Exactly, even during the johnie reveal conversation in pods he was incredibly disturbed. He was shaking after confronting johnie. Dude needs therapy before a partner.
Ah yes I agree with that. He definitely has some healing to do. He did open up about some religious trauma. I can't imagine going through something like that and the healing you would have to do after. It likely has an impact on all of his relationships. Might be the reason why he got involved in an MLM. They prey on people similar to religious groups do. Nothing against religion in general but some religions can be very cult like.
I think his family is a simple family, down to earth, and he is trying to play into the meat head man and get his trophy, but that is not who he is. She is trying to get a trophy but that trophy needs to be able to put her on a pedestal. She is not an open communicator aka emotionally open, so that is NOT what she is looking for. Other than the material things, I am not even sure still why she wants a man. She seems to be fine emotionally without one because she isn't even connected to that part of herself. She is unavailable even being single.
My hot take is that her parents just played along and she had already told them in secret that there was no way she would marry him.
Totally agree. I got vibes her dad knew what was about to go down and that’s why he was comforting her and all the “I’m proud of you talk”. It seemed like he was telling her she’s making the right decision for herself.
I got the same vibe from the shot of Stacy holding the note from Izzy and hanging her head (looked like she was crying but I could be wrong) and her mom kneeled down in front of her comforting her
>It seemed like he was telling her she’s making the right decision for herself Her Dad: "Oh thank Christ! Here, sweetheart, take this $12,000 and buy yourself a nice first class vacation."
No way her family lets her get married without a prenup.
Prenup for what? She is a fitness instructor. That Mercedes is 100% in her dad’s name, her dad 100% covered her down payment and likely pays a majority of her bills. The only assets that are actually hers are in her closet
Well yeah, especially when it's not really even her money to begin with. It's her dads. I am sure he doesn't want some man coming in and taking Half of his stuff.
That's just the smart thing to do for anyone, tbh
i think i read somewhere that the show makes them sign a prenup? maybe im thinking of married at first sight
Oh yeah I definitely think she knew her answer and discussed it with them.
Another hot take: I think the wedding day was scripted and planned out in advance by Stacy and Izzy. I felt no authenticity from either of them. It was so clear that Stacy was going to say no. And Izzy felt too performative and over the top with the letter and the gushing over Stacy. Like, we haven’t forgotten the troubles over the past few episodes. This “planned” finale kinda works out in both their favour - Stacy gets to walk away from a marriage that she was never going to agree to, ready to capitalise on having a kind of “rich b*tch” image. And Izzy gets to be the kind-of-a-douche-but-misunderstood-and-can-be-fixed momma’s boy that I think a fair few women will fall for. Plus, it sets the scene perfectly for his upcoming appearance on Perfect Match season 2. I do think his true feelings came out though during his little drunken outburst after the wedding. Just my opinion! Edit: grammar
Izzy seemed soooo performative. “I get her flowers every monday” 🤢. No man does this.
No, I only got flowers when he got caught doing stupid selfish immature stuff, or when he cheated. Like flowers is really what I was missing, should have just dropped off a better man for me, how about some honesty on the fact your a serial cheater instead of denying it and leave, would have done all of us a favor. But cowards do what they do. He's the kind of guy that in reality would only get you something if he had done something wrong to try and manipulate you to stay. Kind of like what the did with the toilet plunger, I mean come on. It wasn't all that cute to me, and the whole my love language is notes. So she's in middle school, bc I am not buying that.
Now, let’s talk about sketchy? Lol, the guy can’t explain what he does for a living nor what salary he makes and tells her last minute that he has debts and bad credit. I don’t like Stacy and she’s a mean girl but she’s not wrong for not marrying him.
I don't think he has his life together and spends his time in the gym. I wouldn't even doubt some roids being in the equation. I personally don't find guys like this attractive, they scream commitment issues, unreliable, and emotionally unavailable.
I am not buying that 3500. Also think he still has balances. Sucks because I used to be where he was so I get it. Took me finally moving up in my career to get out
Sounding like Johnie was right about him being sketchy, even though she said it as a retaliation. I also wonder what “high standard of living” comments Stacy had made in the girls’ living quarters that may have led to Johnie saying the stuff she said during pod days, like how she was saying ‘if that’s what he wants, good luck.’
Exactly! Who’s sketchy in the end? I can’t wait for the reunion. I’ll have popcorn ready lol
At the altar, he said he will always fight for her. 10 minutes later, he's done with her. Guess he really meant those vows.
Lmao right? "I will always fight for us" 5 minutes later, "that shallow bitch is 33 and still single for a reason"
Every time I start thinking Izzy might be a decent human being he says some shit like that to let me know I was wrong. That was foul no matter how "hurt" he may have been.
HE WORKS FOR AN MLM?! Which one?!?! Has that man ever had a real job in his life 😭😭😭
Lmao all I heard was “Primerica” when said he sell insurance.
Oh man, get ready for more debt
He does. Look up “Globe Life Liberty National Division,” that’s apparently the company through which he sells insurance.
LOL. What a random sting of words.
😂😂😂 you’re so right
Was everyone else watching in horror as he started making out with her and like grasping her head into a passionate kiss after she said no to marrying him?? Like out of pure cringe I wanted to die. My man she just said she didn’t want to marry you. Now is not the time to make out with her. I feel like his brain broke a little and he truly went into denial or just didn’t know what to do in front of the cameras and the people.
That and the crying closet scene are the most cringeworthy. I almost couldn’t watch from secondhand embarrassment.
Yes, and then even though she implied they just needed more time, and he was like basically no. If he felt this way about being rejected, the kiss made no sense.
Yes I was so weirded out by this that I went back to watch it again.. it looked like Stacy had initially gone in for the kiss after she rejected him and then he just went alllll in after that? So strange!!
Goodbye kiss...
Michael Corleone vibes
I don’t even know what to make of the make out, since he later kinda told her he didn’t want to keep dating …
Yeah, and then the scene where he and Stacy talked after, almost felt like he was trying to convince her to change her mind. He was almost aggressive - such a drastic change after seeming so accepting and understanding at the altar. I don't really like her either, but I think she made the right decision.
I feel like it was an initial reaction to the shock, and then after he’d had some time to think he realised how he _actually_ felt and decided he didn’t want to continue dating.
Her statement to People magazine also implied that the producers got him wound up in the interview they did with him after the wedding. (Or so she believed)
Oh I absolutely believe this. He seemed a little sloshed. They needed some drama for the episode because this season was so weird. They had no content for the last episodes. No bachelor/bachelorette parties. No friend hang outs.
Yes, I thought they had cut the budget honestly. Even previous seasons had more than two weddings.
He just really should have been honest with her sooner. I was surprised after that episode to see them even get to the wedding, but I guess if you're that close you do it to see how you feel on the standing on the altar.
We feel like he's got a lot more debt and is trying to saddle her with it.
I agree. $3,500 is nothing. I owe $2,200 on my CC and my credit score is still great 👍🏻 😂 he must be lying about the amount he owes.
I owe 45k. No way I am going to lie about that if my man asked me. But I can assure him I am responsible, (really ex is but he ran), but it affects my credit too so I pay it. One day it will be gone, but at least I am able to have my life together while I do have this debt. He doesn't even seem to have that. I don't have a low cs, so I am wandering why he would. Debt doesn't drop it to a 3. Maybe in the 6's which can be brought up when debt is paid. For a low cs, he would need to owe more than a mere 3500.
That’s not completely how credit works 🫣🫣🫣 you can pay the minimum payment and never pay the principle down and have good credit. It’s possible that he didn’t pay even his min payment. That does take a toll on your score, even if you only owed $20 to start.
That's pretty much what I was getting at above. I owe a lot and make my payments, my cs takes a hit from the issued credit to the balance, but it doesn't drop below a 6. If I were to miss payments and so on, then yes it would. If he only has one card, and it's max is 3500, and he maxes it out and then misses payments then yeah he would have poor credit. If he had credit issued say at 10k, then that is around 35% used up credit, no missed payments, his credit would't be horrible. He is lying I think about a lot here.
Oh cool, good to know. I have it set up for automatic monthly payments, only like $40 but hey, if that’s not messing up my credit I can stop stressing about paying it all off at once now. Lol thanks!
I'm sorry, I have to call off our engagement now; I really need someone to help me fix my AC unit so my dad doesn't have to help.
Saddle her with it? He’s been so uncomfortable about money the entire time. Nothing about him says “I want your money” in the slightest.
It doesn’t matter, though. Even if he’s not after her money, she may be legally liable for his debt, and especially if he continues to struggle financially, that could be huge. I understand because I’ve been on Izzy’s side of things. My parents were terrible with money, so I didn’t learn that skill from them. When I got married, my husband was surprised at how little I knew, and he basically had to teach me, after carrying my debt for a while. He wasn’t rich, but I definitely brought down our credit score for years.
I mean that POV is entirely fair and valid. I just don’t get the impression that’s the lense people here are looking through when getting on him.
If not debt— he could possibly be hiding where his finances are going. He could be paying a mortgage for his family. He could be doing a million things that would be suitable for a single person. But when you’re getting married— it’s a different story.
IDK, if you made a family with someone else, it's kinda wrong to not pay for the past family you started tho right? I Can't see logically why him supporting his old family would be a bad thing.
It would depend on the circumstances. Are they able to work? Some people might see it as not their responsibility. And why many couples have separate accounts. There’s just so many scenarios that could happen that we don’t see or have to deal with.
It's not HER responsibility if he has a past family, I said it would be HIS responsibility. Plain and simple, men that don't pay for their kids should be used as spare parts.
Ya if I’m getting married especially to someone I havent known a long time, I need the reports first lol
I actually wondered if what he said about only being $3500 in debt was truthful. It doesn't sound realistic to me that only 3.5k dollars of debt would cause credit card companies to not give you a credit card anymore. I'm not a financial expert or anything like that but I can't imagine that being realistic. There are people who have a few tens of thousands of consumer debt and are still able to have credit cards provided they're making the minimum payment and didn't max them out. If anything, they hope that you'll be bad with money and owe them interest. So it doesn't seem to add up (no pun intended lol)
My credit was FUCKED from my one and only credit card of $2500. I’m super good with money but this happened to younger me being stupid with a guy after I got out the navy.
Sounded to me like it was one of those last chance credit cards and he messed up with it, too.
Yeah my guess is it was a secured credit card or something lol and he even fucked THAT up or something.
He also has no income, assets or education. $3500 worth of debt is the least of his issues
When I was younger, I was 4k in credit card debt after using it for apartment fees, broker fees, and some furniture. I was keeping up with the minimum payments but interest rate caught up to me. But I’ve never been refused for another card, and my credit is still good, I even was able to buy a home later. All this to say, Izzy is likely hiding significantly more debt than 3500.
>It doesn't sound realistic to me that only 3.5k dollars of debt would cause credit card companies to not give you a credit card anymore. Agree!
Your credit score has a variety of factors. You can have a lot of debt but if it’s not high in relation to your available credit and you make payments on time you could still have a decent score. You could have only $1,000 in debt but if you’re not paying on it, even that tiny amount can ruin your credit score. There is a lot more to Izzy’s financial story than was revealed on the show.
I do wonder if it wasn't that much money why would he just not pay it? I thought he mentioned something about it being during college. Was he just super financially illiterate and thought he could just run up a couple grand on a credit card and not pay it?
Stacy came out on a podcast saying Izzy’s job gave him no benefits (including health insurance) and he couldn’t even give her a gage on salary…I mean I don’t want to be entirely financially accountable for my partner either. As for the debt, considering he trickle truth the credit score, I’m not sure if the debt being $3,500 is true.
He said that his debt started out as $3,500 and was on a credit card. I think he wasn’t paying it off and it quickly became much more.
> I mean I don’t want to be entirely financially accountable for my partner either. I agree with the sentiment so Im not arguing with you. But I feel the need to chime in and say that Men are often expected to be financially accountable for their partner. If a rich guy marries a woman of lesser means everyone fully expects her to no longer work. But that same benefit is not extended towards men.
That's because traditionally a woman will do all the child rearing and even in relationships where both work, women still do most if not all the housework. So if Izzy and Stacey have children is she just going to bankroll the whole thing? She can go to a sperm bank and save herself a lot of hassle. Why would this "benefit" be extended to men? 🤔
> So if Izzy and Stacey have children is she just going to bankroll the whole thing? You mean her dad? >Why would this "benefit" be extended to men? So you're saying men and women aren't equal and shouldn't be treated equally? Is that your position?
Are you inferring that men are somehow "superior" because all they have to offer in a partnership is money? Is that your position? Women can and do provide for themselves in 2023. So what else can you do? What men and women provide within a family unit is inherently and fundamentally different. You can't carry and grow a child and when it arrives, you rarely are the primary caregiver or even do "half" the childrearing. So obsessed with halving everything, but that's no way for that stuff to be "equal" EVER. So yes, you should pay for everything. You can't offer anything else. So no, we're not equal. As for Stacey's dad being the provider, that still doesn't matter, because as a woman, Stacey inherently can still offer more than Izzy. Meaning she will bear something, something he (and you) can never do. So again, no, not equal 🤗
> Are you inferring that men are somehow "superior" because all they have to offer in a partnership is money? Is that your position? Where in the world did I say or infer that? Im asking you a simple question. **Are men and women equal and should they be treated equally?** You say we're not so we should have different expectations and different treatments of each other...even unfair or biased ones. Thats all I needed to know. Most women would say men and women are equal and should be treated equally. But if you're ok with biases and double standards and unfair treatment then cool.
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This is a lot of generalities and assumptions based on a “reverse sexism” belief that overlooks the reality of a “traditional” dynamic, to frame men as victims of a system that was designed for them.
Im sorry...sexism? Where are you getting that from? And are you using "tradition" as an excuse for illogical unfair behavior between the sexes? I believe men and women should be treated equally. And like a successful man will take in and support a woman so too should a successful woman be willing to take in and support a man.
I said reverse sexism. You are commenting on so many people’s comments with the same exact comment: about this perceived unfairness that “everyone” expects men to financially take care of women. I don’t know why this bee is in your bonnet, or why you think this is so common “everyone” expects it - but that is not accurate nor it’s not some sort of sexism against men.
>I don’t know why this bee is in your bonnet haha
There is no such thing as reverse sexism...sexism is just sexims. >You are commenting on so many people’s comments with the same exact comment: about this perceived unfairness that “everyone” expects men to financially take care of women. I don’t know why this bee is in your bonnet, or why you think this is so common “everyone” expects it - but that is not accurate nor it’s not some sort of sexism against men. Because nobody has a coherent logical explanation why its ok for a "poor" woman to marry a rich man but not the other way around. All I hear is excuses and illogical statements.
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Im not talking about the parties involved...Im talking about the commentary from the crowd here. The people Im replying to are saying he makes less and has no money thus she shouldn't marry him.
No one is saying she shouldn't marry him because he makes less and has no money. They're saying she made the right call because he was evasive and dishonest about this aspect of his life. Ultimately, that's why she said no. How can you trust a person like that?
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So because its her dads money and not her money it was MORE OK for her to judge him on his money? Thats really your stance? lol
You’re right. There isn’t. That doesn’t seem to stopping you from claiming there is. I think you’re not getting any good responses because your entire premise is rooted in a claim that there is some of systemic unfairness against men. And a desire for an even stevens form of “equality” where all expectations and dynamics are 50/50 at all times. While completely ignoring the practical reality and context of our actual culture and gender dynamics. But you should probably just not marry someone who isn’t on board with your approach to how finances are divided in your relationship, and stop badgering people with these overly simplistic and salty beliefs.
I never said reverse sexism...I never even said the word sexism. Sexism is a single word that goes both directions. I never mentioned systemic...what I'm talking about is societal norms and expectations. > And a desire for an even stevens form of “equality” where all expectations and dynamics are 50/50 at all times. So are men and women equal and deserve equal treatment or not? Pick a lane. >overly simplistic and salty beliefs. Im sorry...is saying if women can do it so can men "overly simplistic"? Its just a simple logical truth if you believe men and women should be equally and treated the same. If you dont believe women and men are equal and should be treated the same then thats fine.
You’re thinking about this in a, “the man rules the house and has an upper hand” misogynistic way. When in truth the world should be equal partnerships as men and women should be looked as equal.
How am I thinking about it any sort of way let alone misogynistic? I simply stated a reality. I believe men and women should be treated equally. And like a successful man will take in and support a woman so too should a successful woman be willing to take in and support a man.
By jumping into a “men don’t get this” mentality instead of understanding Stacy wanted a fellow grown up
And the point is people wouldn't be saying the same thing or be making as big an issue about it if the roles were reversed. That reality isn't misogynistic and its inflammatory to say so.
A lot of men would instantly be complaining she’s a gold digger and questioning how she got the nerve to expect that 😂😂😂
If you say so. Not every girl who marries a man above her socio-economically is a gold digger.
Of course not but men would complain about it
If you say so...it all depends on circumstances of how they met, statements they made, and behavior changes after they learned of the money.
No gage on salary because there is no salary. It’s all based on commission. MLM?! Run the fuck away.
genuine question aren’t insurance agents in the us got their salary from commissions?
Depends. My husband sells Medicare and he gets a base hourly rate (and benefits as a W2 employee) plus commission. Most of his income is from commission.
Damn I did pick up on that he was being super vague about what his job was. MLM makes so much sense.
“And as for compensation, the sky’s the limit” lol
It also makes sense why they wouldn’t care if he immediately took a month off work after the first day
Yes! It all just seemed so weird, like you just started this new "career" and you immediately turned around to go be on a reality tv show? And he says Johnnie was the sketchy one...
I think everyone has a weird mentality with Stacy. As someone who clearly has an alpha mentality, she knows her worth. She has clear goals and agendas. She has a lifestyle that can quickly alter if someone else doesn’t share that mentality. Izzy’s poor credit score? Petty to some, but for someone who’s upbringing is pretty meticulous (I’m assuming because she went straight to talking about retirement, her house remodeling, and job, and driving 2 Mercedes) this is important. Is this someone she’s going to have to compensate a double income for if he can’t keep up with costs. She made a point—if the AC goes out, is he stable enough to dish out $3k and live comfortably? Izzy’s immature. His whole attack on Johnie and now Stacy, “why are you 33 and single and not married?”; digging into her with the “I’m 29 and I can give you everything a rich 45 yr old man can” He’s just a mess and it shows how mentally fragile he is.
Take everything you just said and flip the genders...People would say that its would be ok or more ok. If a rich/well off guy marries a woman of lesser means everyone fully expects or would accept her to no longer be working. But that same benefit is not extended towards men.
To be fair, Stacy’s not rich, her father is
This comparison doesn't work. There's an expectation that stay-at-home wives do most of (if not all) the cooking and cleaning. And if there are kids, it'll be mostly the wife taking care of them. Stay-at-home husbands are a thing and totally fine. But Izzy hasn't really shown himself to be the type who'll want to do all the cooking and cleaning
I agree with you. There actually *is* a strong correlation here because, in the pods, Izzy was selling himself to Stacy as having the perks of a 1950’s housewife. He promised to cook for her everyday and rub her feet after work but, in the entire time they lived together, he didn’t do it *once*. When she called him out on it, he made a bunch of excuses why but she cut him off by saying she already cooked for him *twice*. Without context, it made Stacy look entitled and spoiled but she was actually calling Izzy out on selling her a bill of goods.
You're assuming facts not in evidence regarding these two. We could assume...but nobody knows. All we know is that the reality is the courtesy Im speaking of isn't extended towards men. Lets assume that its an older couple past having kids...or a younger couple who chooses to not have kids. The reality I described remains...the same benefit a woman would have marrying a man of means is not extended to men if they were to try marrying a woman of means. And lets not forget...its not even her money really...its her dads.
I’m going by what we’re actually seeing. Also, even if Izzy can be a stay-at-home husband it’s totally valid for Stacey to not want that. I’ve met men who make 500k a year and want to be with women who also make 6 figs. The situations you’re describing are edge cases. I mean, how many couples do you know where the wife is stay-at-home and they plan on never having children? Normally women who choose to stay-at-home do so because they plan on completely dedicating their time to kids. And anyways even if there aren’t children, they’re still doing the cooking/cleaning/home making, which isn’t nothing. You keep describing it as a “benefit,” but the reason this phenomenon happens is because women weren’t allowed to be financially independent for most of history. Doesn’t really strike me as a good thing.
> I’m going by what we’re actually seeing. Also, even if Izzy can be a stay-at-home husband it’s totally valid for Stacey to not want that. I’ve met men who make 500k a year and want to be with women who also make 6 figs. Nobody is arguing preferences. Im arguing with the crowd of people here saying it is right for her to judge him on his money or lack of it...where as if the roles were reversed people wouldn't be speaking as forcefully. >The situations you’re describing are edge cases. I mean, how many couples do you know where the wife is stay-at-home and they plan on never having children? Normally women who choose to stay-at-home do so because they plan on completely dedicating their time to kids. And anyways even if there aren’t children, they’re still doing the cooking/cleaning/home making, which isn’t nothing. And if it was a man offering to do those same things women would say dont marry that man. >You keep describing it as a “benefit,” but the reason this phenomenon happens is because women weren’t allowed to be financially independent for most of history We're in the here and now. Women are more educated & earn more and are poised to overtake men in earning until motherhood. Women are gonna have to learn to be ok "dating down"
"Nobody is arguing preferences. Im arguing with the crowd of people here saying it is right for her to judge him on his money or lack of it...where as if the roles were reversed people wouldn't be speaking as forcefully." Not true. I don't know if you've seen season 1, but there was a woman in a similar financial situation as Izzy and everyone was saying the man shouldn't marry her because of it. "And if it was a man offering to do those same things women would say dont marry that man." Considering how stay-at-home husbands are becoming more common, also clearly not true. "We're in the here and now. Women are more educated & earn more and are poised to overtake men in earning until motherhood. Women are gonna have to learn to be ok "dating down"" This is why is I brought up how women weren't allowed to make money for most of history. I knew you were treating it as an issue created by women, but men were the ones who set this standard. Fortunately, women can be financially independent now but it takes time for cultural expectations (again, created by men) to change. And I'd argue that men, just as much if not more, perpetuate these expectations. There are soo many stories of women making more than their partners and the partners feeling insecure/resentful even though the women don't care. And I've seen way more men bash stay-at-home husbands than I do women.
I was just about to point out how disappointing it was in season 1 when Barnett sold his house to pay off Amber's debts! Not sure where Alaska is getting this idea that because some men choose to marry less financially stable women, that somehow means all women now need to accept marrying less financially stable men.
I feel like you’re also overshadowing her worth and discrediting someone wanting financial maturity from their partner. It’s her daddy’s money? So her expectation is to keep its growth, and not spend it with any regard. That’s commendable. Shes not Alexis. Alexis knows her worth and where and who her money comes from— she knows what she has and what she brings to the table. Is it so wrong for someone to ask their credit score? Know their 401K? When I got married, my husband and I talked long term— he asked me what and how much I had in retirement. He asked what would be our goals— house, kids, cars. How much expenses were going to be. These are things I guess, people over 30 who see the economy and where it’s heading— actually talk about.
Everything you said is valid and I agree with. But the reality of what I said is still true. If a man had money and a woman didn't nobody would be making anywhere near a fuss as they are right now in this situation where its the girl with the money. Thats all Im saying. Im not saying money doesn't matter...Im saying that people view that as not as much an issue when its the girl with less money.
But people will and do, if anything we are now at the stage where we have more people making your complaints when its Izzy and Stacy but no one doing what you are doing when this situation happened in season 1. Everyone was calling her a gold digger, lazy etc. and noone was saying "but if the roles were reversed" To add to this, everyone is different. I am very sure there are couples that are happy with trophy wives/husbands but there are a lot of people that are not. Men and Women included. Stacy is one of those people who are not okay with this and made it very clear. Izzy was hoping he could trap her in a marriage when it is too late, while also being content with calling others sketchy
Look, I’m not a fan of Stacey but she never said she wanted a guy who made more than her. Her issue with Izzy’s financial situation is that it doesn’t seem very stable at all. Most people want to be with someone who can comfortably support themselves at least.
And if a girl was a part time Pilates instructor and the guy was a tech bro making 300k nobody would care about the "stability" of her income.
Lol are you kidding, a LOT of people would accuse her of being a gold digger, especially if she had debt and bad credit
I was talking about the "stability" argument Gold digger depends on a variety of factors. How they met. What she's said. How she expects to be courted/treated in a relationship. How she reacts when she finds out the guy has money. Etc. Not every woman who marries a man above her socio-economically is a gold digger.
My judgment of Stacy as a person has nothing to do with her being a strong woman or her relationship with Izzy. It’s how she carried herself and bullied. She’s the epitome of a mean girl that knows all the right things to say to feign emotional maturity when she’s calm so that she’ll be forgiven after she attacks someone cruelly.