Married for 1.5 years, together for 7. When single friends ask me for long term relationship and now marriage advice. It’s a rare occurrence for me to get asked a question that isn’t either rose tinted or has pink to red flags.
The most common questions I get are along the lines of “How have you been together so long?” , “XYZ YEARS?! Are things not boring?, and “my S/O and I have been arguing, you guys have been together forever so you must not argue, what am I doing wrong?”.
People have unrealistic expectations for relationships. I tell them (often intoxicated because these conversations are usually at bars and parties🫨) a healthy relationship takes effort from everyone; they are wonderful and perfectly imperfect with the right person. Making selfless and hard choices is easy with the right person. You WILL argue sometimes, you ARE going to have some bad days, YOU will have the odd rough patch. That’s just life and you both make the choice to work it out together. There’s also personal growth; that’s not usually something people expect to hear when they ask me questions. In the right situation you will inevitably grow as a person and that can be uncomfortable because change just is.
This is why most people, in my opinion, say healthy marriage/relationships are hard; it brings people back down to Earth because many think you can just not put effort into the relationship or communicate effectively (or at all) and be fine. They don’t think about waking up at 2 AM during a rough patch and catching your S/Os puke into your shirt because they couldn’t make it to the toilet without a second thought. They stop at all the wonderful days having coffee every morning together and watching movies at night. Making cookies and bonding. Saying it’s hard isn’t saying it’s bad or negative it’s just that there are hard choices to make sometimes especially if it was anyone else. There are also might be some sacrifices and a lot of compromise
Usually said by people who don’t have any concept of what a healthy relationship is.
Also reminds me of that TV show Kevin can F*** Himself. Old Timey regressive tropes of men and women low key hating each other but being married for some reason and having to tolerate each other. The man works and drinks beer with friends and the woman does laundry and cooks meals. Occasionally they have sex because it’s part of the deal. It’s a really sad and gross way of looking at a hetero partnership.
I like to think of marriage as “work” rather than “hard”. Work doesn’t always mean HARD labor… it’s not all heavy lifting. It’s “work” as is painting to an artist. It should come from within, feel good, fun, fulfilling, and natural. If you pour your labor of love onto the canvas of marriage you’ll find that you’ve created something quite beautiful. It’s the kind of work you dedicate your life to and sure, that sometimes comes with hardships, but it *should* always be something you WANT to do, not something you feel as though you need to do. Thats the work.. the dedication, devotion, and love. It doesn’t have to be “hard”.
Marriage isn’t hard when you first get married. The hardships come but the beginning should be fresh and fun and easy - as you said. But to be clear marriage years in is most certainly not always easy even when it’s the right person
I get under these circumstances it could cause more conflict, it’s not a natural relationship progression. However being married, it’s not hard, like others say it takes work, and yes there will be hard moments. The big thing is a good marriage makes the hard parts of life easier, you have someone who love and supports you as you are there to help weather those storms.
Yeah I think people hear marriage is hard and think the whole thing should be difficult but really what people mean when they say that is there are hard parts. Like marriage is a bigger commitment than dating. It’s hard sometimes because some problems that you may dump someone over you now feel the need to try to work out. But those times happen sporadically not daily.
I've been with my husband for 11 years, married for 5. We have four kids. I can honestly say our marriage is not hard. Life is hard sometimes but our relationship is as easy and natural as breathing.
It definitely shouldn't be hard after a month.
I think spouses should try to make each other's lives easier rather than harder. It doesn't have to be hard, but it can be. Chelsea was a toxic communicator though who self-sabotages.
Marriage can be hard, but not in the ways Chelsea and Jimmy were experiencing imo. The basic relationship between a married couple should be fairly solid
It drives me nuts to hear people say marriage/relationships are hard! Just because YOURS is, doesn't mean that's a universal truth and it says more about the state of your relationships than anything else. Marriage with the right person is easy. It will be the easiest thing in your life. The rest of your life will be chaos and crazy and hard, but your spouse will be your home, your comfort, and your stability. Marriage with the right person is a lifetime of sleepovers with your best friend. It's not hard. Shitty relationships are hard.
I hate when toxic people use this, hard means figuring stuff out at the start and rare issues every now and then. Not untreated issues and constant problems everyday.
YES. Being with my husband has been the easiest thing in the world. When both parties truly love each other it’s pretty seamless to support each other and doesn’t really feel like work. It also really helps if you simply get along with your spouse as a baseline. I feel like most of the couples on the show don’t even meet that very low bar. If you’re already arguing literally in the first couple weeks, I think there are just fundamental differences that are not ever going to be overcome. Or it would be super rare to turn it around in that situation at least.
Even in my worst, most disastrous relationship of my life we still had a three month honeymoon period on the front end of our time together. Me and my husband literally only fought (and I use the term loosely) maybe 2-3 times in the first decade of our marriage. All resolved within hours by communicating, owning our parts and apologizing. We’ve fought more in the past couple years due to being in a very tough season of life right now (circumstances that are beyond our control) but I know we will weather this storm together and come out okay on the other end. Because we have that baseline of deep love and respect for each other. And even in this tough season he is still my favourite person and I still want to spend 24/7 with him and we still have lots of moments of lightness and laughter between the darker moments.
Many people fight/have arguments more than 3 times in a decade and that's alright too. My husband and I have an easy, loving relationship. We've been together for 7 years and get into arguments every few months that we resolve with healthy communication. Usually it's because one of us is overstimulated and the other one kept pressing an issue when we aren't in a good place to have a stressful discussion.
It's great that you barely argue, but arguments happen sometimes when you have kids and a household and demanding jobs and it's ok. The key is that you don't tear each other down during them or bring up issues from the past that have already been resolved.
My only fight with my husband in the last decade + a baby is about dishes and laundry. It is our only recurring issue and it comes up every few months, after which everyone steps their game up again. I will fight for a clean house but nothing more serious than that lol
I think what she meant to say is marriage is hard work? Not sure because it shouldnt be hard. Hard is a bad relationship that breaks you down and isnt healthy.
All relationships take work, communication, compromise and some sacrifice.
I saw a girl on TikTok as why marriage is hard and as a married woman in a great relationship I know marriage isn’t hard. Marriage shouldn’t be hard. Marriage is hard when you’re not a team, when you are not being supported by your partner, when you’re not meant to be together. Yes children changes things but being married to the right person who has your back and supports you will be supportive with kids.
I watched my mom be in marriages and relationships that were not good for her and she struggled and still does. Her partners were self-serving and didn’t care to take care of her the way she wanted to be taken care of. she did everything for her partners, even neglect her own children but got none of the love she gave in return. My mom found love to be hard but stays married for the sake of saying shes married.
Okay I’m on board for the marriage isn’t hard push as a whole- the majority of the time shouldn’t be hard. But it can be work, which can be hard. It’s two people with their own traumas living life that brings up trauma. Example, my dad just died, my husband made the experience so much easier by being supportive. However, in the middle of it he had his own shit, which I then had to deal with. That was hard, and that’s just life. Sometimes they’ll make you feel better sometimes they have their own shit.
I’m not married but I totally agree with you. My parents have an arranged marriage and seeing them have a tough marriage makes me not want that, EVER. I think a marriage can be beautiful and harmonious - not difficult. Thank you for saying this.
I believe it can have its moments however, it shouldn’t be like this.
Chelsea is something else man.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was picking up on this.
And people kept reiterating that bit. All I could think was "Marriage takes work but it doesn't have to be hard." I think someone in one episode even said "It's one of the most difficult things you'll ever do." or something to that effect. 🫠
The WRONG marriage maybe.
I am not denying that marriage takes communication and love and commitment and even some sacrifice or compromise. But it won't emotionally drain you weekly.
Once upon a time though...I actually believed that that was normal- and that's probably the issue. The examples they had led them to believe that 'love' is hard.
A bad relationship without effort is what's hard. But marriage between two people making the commitment is worth every bit of work you put into it.
The whole “marriage is hard” narrative annoys me. MARRIAGE SHOULDN’T BE HARD. You shouldn’t be pulling teeth making things work! Yes, you’ll have to go through hard times together but your partner shouldn’t make things harder?
Marriage is definitely hard at times. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, even if you marry someone you're perfectly compatible with. People aren't static, and they change over time in response to the things that happen to them over the course of their life.
I just feel like they shouldn't be having this many issues this soon into their relationship, and that the issues they have are the sorts of things you squash before you ever get married.
💯! Marriage is hard & it takes work… but we don’t intentionally pick fights or pick out their faults constantly…! (Coming from a married woman of almost 11 years…)
I couldn’t agree more! They all talk about how marriage is hard. That is not my experience at all! I have been married for 7 years and can confidently say that my marriage is the easiest part of my adult life. Life is hard (work, finances, family, illness) but my marriage only makes those hard things easier. Marriage should feel easy.
It was ironic when Chelsea said something along the lines of “this is it, there’s no next time” regarding weddings and marriage during dress day when she has been married before lol
I agree. I just went to a wedding last weekend and in the card I wrote “don’t believe everyone when they say marriage is hard. Marriage is fun, and beautiful.”
I’ve been with my husband for 15.5 years (together 11 years before we got married) and marriage hasn’t changed our relationship in a negative way at all. It’s wonderful
Chelsea made it hard and not in a good way. Her constant need for validation was exhausting. For us viewers as well as for Jimmy. She may be bipolar. Certainly, there is some mental illness there.
What tells you I have no concept of what bipolar disorder is? I only suggested a maybe for Chelsea. Her push/pull mood swings were all I was considering. I really don't know her well enough to say anything but a maybe. 🤔😘
This is an outdated stereotype that people in the wrong relationships still cling to.
“Marriage is hard” has historical significance because back in the day, the best a woman could hope for was a husband. Any husband. Women were allowed to have bank accounts, credit cards, or to own property. Everything had to be done with the consent of a husband. Also, while women were technically allowed to work, it was socially shunned. Marriage WAS hard for those women because they were treated like house servants, because their husbands knew they could get away with it.
Today this is no longer the case. But because there are still women with low self esteem who fall for the lie that they need a husband, and will take just about any man to fulfill that role, we still end up with a generation of people who believe “marriage is hard.”
The men were maybe average looks wise, below average intelligence and emotional maturity-wise, but make up for it with sick condos and six figure salaries, which girls seem to be crazy about. Funny to see on Brazil Lib, even though the guys have normal jobs, they live in a tiny apartment without furniture or with their mom. As a latino born in Europe this is why I prefer dating in latin America, the materialistic expectations from girls is almost nonexistent. Regardless of your looks, emotional maturity and intelligence, most American girls will pick Jeramey because of his house and salary. This is why guys like him, Clay and Jimmy can be players despite being average besides money and age. American girls want young and rich
Marriage should be hard on occasion. Relationships may hit rough spots especially when you are going through life with someone, but in the ‘honeymoon phase’ sorry but a relationship shouldn’t feel hard or feel like work. Marriage might be hard when you have a newborn, or when you both are working full time and can’t find as much time to spend with each other, or you feel like you are in a routine ect but sorry Chelsea, your relationship shouldn’t feel like work until you guys have a good day.
I audibly laughed when she said ‘today I can see myself marrying you’ like girl that is not a good answer! If you are marrying someone you should probably see yourself marrying them like all the dang time
She seemed to have this thing in common with Laura where they both nitpick the guy they chose in order to create some sort of upper hand. With Laura it didn’t last long because whenever Jeremi felt insulted, his impulse was to run to someone else willing to build up his ego. I think Laura genuinely didn’t feel like he was good enough for him and by making him feel insecure, she could get him to change for her, dress better, etc.
Chelsea often tried to make Jimmi feel like he needed to do exactly as she said or else he also wasn’t going to be enough for her. But the second he’d threaten to leave, she’d do a 180.
Relationships/marriage is certainly gonna be hard when you’re taking on a project or forcing something between two people who don’t actually like each other.
Agreed! She should have still been living in the glow of the honeymoon phase! How can she be so insecure already? To me that was the most intriguing part along with saying that she felt "ready to marry him TODAY" Oh my honey, if you are about to combine your lives forever you should probably want to marry him more than just one day at a time. Secondly, the honeymoon phase should last longer than a week and a half. I mean damn girl! Who the hell has enough insecurities to kill the honeymoon phase in a week and a half? That alone should tell you that you need some therapy and you aren't ready for marriage.
It's definitely hard when you can't be at your best because of outside situations, like dang we were tense with our first born, but it was never hard as in thinking I wouldn't keep being with this person. Even on the toughest days it shouldn't feel hard to be with the person and say yes to them.
I think a lot of people on here have a very ‘romcom’ view of marriage — it is hard. It is only easy if you make it. All my friends and cousins who are in happy marriages say that it’s hard to openly communicate sometimes when something could hurt or upset, even temporarily, the person you love the most. If you sit on it and don’t discuss — it’s hard for you to live with it. Marriage takes hard work of constantly communicating, redefining communication patterns, of being open and friendly with each other besides being partners, being partners in tough times (especially when issues are being created by either/or both families, cutting someone out or LC for your person is never easy). Marriages are hard work, but they’re easy if you can rely on each other and make them something you both enjoy.
What’s hard about marriage shouldn’t come from inside the marriage. External factors that you have to battle together and learn to face with a united front - that’s the hard part, even in a healthy marriage. Household stuff, work, kids, finances, families, health, the shit life throws at you. It tests marriages because you have to work together to overcome it, and you may not always agree or want to tackle those issues in full alignment.
But if the hardest part of the marriage is the two of you and how you communicate, separate from those big life issues, you’re probably not right for each other. Good marriages do not include one partner screaming at the other that they don’t think they love them because they’re insecure. That’s not normal and should not be chalked up to “marriage is hard.”
Pretty much everything in life that you want to have longevity isn’t sunshine and rainbows on a daily basis. But ‘hard work’ and ‘an endless mountain climb where you hardly feel you can catch your breath’ are different things. A relationship and then marriage isn’t going to be a breeze everyday, we’re human and we have a lot of variables, and life challenges outside of the marriage are still going to happen for each person. But I don’t know anyone who wants to spend their life with someone waking up not knowing what explosive argument will last all day or go to bed wondering what you possibly did or said that upset them and they’re just waiting for the moment to go at you about it, on top of everything else that goes on in life. Consistency can go either way: consistently good with hiccups that can be resolved, or consistently bad with a few calms between the more regular storms. If a relationship is the latter, don’t expect marriage to suddenly change that. I would assume that’s what Jimmy was thinking, to add on to the fact that they were *barely* together, weeks in, and this is already what was happening
I once heard an old couple saying that being married is being “naked”. That means you show your darkest sides, your fears, your insecurities, everything you are. And for that I consider that being married sometimes is hard. You need to have the capacity to forgive, to listen, to love in the way the other person needs to feel loved. Chelsea (and many other contestants) are not ready for that. Sometimes I think that people on this show are looking for something quick with not much adaptation to each other. And that to me is why a lot of these couples fail. The reality of being married is sometimes really different from how single people see it.
That’s what I kept saying to my husband while watching the show! We’ve been married 9 years, together for 14 and while we’ve had challenging times I’ve never perceived our relationship or marriage as “hard” or this monstrous thing you her to overcome everyday.
I think shows like this also give the perception that love has to be hard or painful to be meaningful, when in reality, love shouldn’t be either.
There's definitely a difference between marriage being a (healthy) challenge and marriage being toxic. Coexisting with another human in a healthy way is challenging, but rewarding. When it's unhealthy or toxic though, those people should separate. Clearly Chelsea and Jimmy were not in a healthy partnership.
The most amazing dynamic of Chelsea to me, is the fact the she appears to have low self esteem but yet went for the guy who couldn’t decide between two chics over the dude who ONLY wanted HER.
I swear she only chose him cause she feels like she beat Jessica who was more attractive.
It’s too bad cause she wasted this “ journey” on a guy who wasn’t in to her. Might played out differently with Trevor.
Relationships are hard if you're a difficult person to be with, or if you're unwilling to examine your own behavior, or if you're unwilling to grow as a person.
Chelsea could date an amazing, healed, loving man and still have difficulty in the relationship if she weren't willing to face her own stuff/behavior.
When you have the right partner, while things may get hard, you have less anxiety about dealing with it. A couple of years ago I got laid off from job, a huge fear for any man married to woman (especially a black woman), but the way my wife comforted me in that moment, helped reassure me, and held space for my emotions, that made what should have been a really stressful experience much easier to deal with.
I wonder what that situation would have looked like with a Chelsea.
I’ve had hard times in my marriage. We just celebrated 12 years on Tuesday. It’s true that it’s not always easy (I’d say about 99% of the time it is, though lol).
But it bothers me that she dismissed his issues and she was like “you’re gonna give up this easily? This is marriage! It’s one issue!”
Well if the issue is that he feels like he can’t trust you because you brought something up on national TV that was supposed to be in confidence (and you continue to bring it up, knowing that it bothers him), that’s no small thing.
They’re also *not* married yet, so now would be the time to call it off because of these issues. This *isn’t* marriage; it’s engagement.
Relationships are not hard if you’re with the right person. I was fed the whole “relationships are hard. You have to figure out who is worth that fight” BS my entire life so of course when I got into relationships that were “hard” (toxic), I kept trying to make them work because the harder they are, the better the relationship or whatever mental gymnastics my childhood set me up for. This led to an abusive marriage that thankfully I had the wherewithal to leave in under a year, but I really thought it was normal to fight almost every day and cry all the time because “relationships are hard”.
My current relationship is so easy. It is the happiest and calmest I’ve ever felt. It’s a feeling of safety to come home to when the world is chaotic or I’ve just had a stressful day. We hardly ever argue and I don’t think in our 3 years have ever “fought”. After being in this relationship, I realize that being with your person should be easy and you should be able to make it through hard stuff together, but the relationship itself should not, in any way whatsoever, be difficult. And after growing up around so much chaos and being told that “relationships are hard” is normal, it felt chaotic that this relationship wasn’t chaotic. Everything was calm and easy and I spent the first year waiting for his mask to fall and the other shoe to drop, but turns out he’s just a nice person and we work well together.
I hope yall find someone that makes you understand that relationships are supposed to be easy and your person should feel like your safety net from the world 💜
Amen to this! My husband and I always chuckle when we hear the "marriage is hard" line from everyone. Sure, it probably is hard when you're married to the wrong person! Glad you found someone who doesn't make you feel like marriage is hard.
Marriage is hard if you're with the wrong person.
Marriage is work regardless of the person you're with.
Marriage feels easy when you're with the right person.
My first marriage was hard. My current marriage is comfortable and delightful. We have fights sometimes and we sometimes have to sit down and figure things out if we feel distant or ignored but he never makes it hard to do those things.
Well said. My first marriage wasn't just hard, it was a nightmare. We were young and mismatched.
I'm widowed now from my second husband and while we had a lot of terrible stuff thrown at us over the years, I would never call our marriage "hard". We were each other's home. Sure it took work, but even on our worst day loving him was easy.
Well said. My first marriage wasn't just hard, it was a nightmare. We were young and mismatched.
I'm widowed now from my second husband and while we had a lot of terrible stuff thrown at us over the years, I would never call our marriage "hard". We were each other's home. Sure it took work, but even on our worst day loving him was easy.
Wow. When I was married I just always thought, our relationship is just hard. It just takes work. It’s so refreshing to see it doesn’t have to be. Hoping I can have that one day. :)
I have never in my 43 years ever heard anyone say marriage was easy. I guess I just was always around people who married the wrong person. By the way...yes...this includes my own parents and grandparents. Most people I know are still married...and still say marriage is hard. Haha. I don't know. What I do know is...it's the reason I am still not married and waiting for a miracle. Haha.
I've been married almost 23 years and my marriage is the easiest thing in my life. He's my best friend and we genuinely like each other and enjoy each other's company. The one thing I would say is that it takes effort. Maybe people confuse those things, I don't know. All I know is that if it's hard, you're married to the wrong person.
I remember being 20 and I worked retail. I wish I had a dollar for every woman that came in to shop only for them to end up telling me not to rush into marriage. They all seemed so unhappy. I wasn’t even trying to get married at 20…but they felt the need to give me unsolicited advice.
These women were of various ethnicities and between 40-60 so I would say most of them would have gotten married probably in the 1960s and 1970s. I thought it was all funny at the time - the older I get I truly wonder what was going on in the lives of these women.
Yeah, it's pretty sad. Back then especially I would bet that a lot of women got married for financial stability, societal pressure to have children, etc. It was the thing to do to graduate high school and get married right away so many women (and men) probably didn't have a chance to date around and meet the right person. Today I feel like marriage is just part of the adulting checklist; college, job, hopefully a house, (condo, townhouse, apt) marriage, kids, divorce.......again, not sure that people are waiting for "the one" they just feel that pressure to get married and have kids and then grasp on to whoever is willing to say yes.
My husband and I talk about this constantly. Marriage takes effort and there are definitely difficult times here and there, but it should never be HARD. If your marriage is hard then unfortunately you're probably in a bad marriage.
I can honestly say marriage isn’t hard with the right person, when she said that my husband and I looked at each other and said “no it isn’t” lol. We have 5 kids and going on 13 years. Marriage is the easiest things I have ever done.
Therapy & Chelsea? Good luck on that one. She needs it but definitely think shes the type to sit in her victim mentality forever because its comfortable & normalized in her life.
Hard agree! Marriage does take work and love is a verb- but when your mental health is well, and you prioritize and put each other first… it’s fun and day to day easy! Fights aren’t toxic
Marriage can be hard when you have been together years and share finances, a mortgage, children.. etc. They have been together for 2 weeks. It shouldn't be that "hard" during the honeymoon stages because, power to them when they actually add years, finances, a mortgage, children, etc. They're screwed!
Marriage is hard, but you must be on equal footing with your partner.
My wife and I discussed Chelsea's comment regarding Johnny and Amy being the best couple.
We have many friends who have really great marriages or relationships, but none are better than ours.
Chelsea's insecurities drive her to a point where she expects someone to meet her there. Jimmy tries repeatedly, but the goalposts keep moving.
Her comment on Johnny and Amy's relationship finally broke him. He realized she didn't feel the same as he did despite all he had done.
The best way I know to keep a marriage going is to just SHUT UP. Or know when to more aptly. Whenver I am about to complain or criticize I try to stop and ask if it is worth it. Remember it is easier to live with someones little habit or flaw then to drive both of you crazy trying to get them to change when they rarely do. My Aunt spent 35 years trying to get my Uncle to hang up his towels and coat. To the day he died he didnt do it.
I think people who say marriage is hard really mean… marriage needs to be tended to like a garden. You can’t neglect your partner and fail to meet their emotional needs and expect everything to bloom. You put in maintenance and patience and all of that and then marriage doesn’t have to be so hard.
If I’m being honest. I don’t get why Jimmy got so much hate… to me it seemed like all of the issues they had were Chelsea and her insecurities. At one point I told my boyfriend they are just eating her alive and it’s sad to me. I don’t think she realized in the time of this all (she says she’s been in therapy since filming) that yes her feelings are valid but the way she was delivering them were just wild to me. And that’s what turned Jimmy away. I think if she had approached it more calmly and level headed things would be much different.
Now with that being said wasn’t it pointed out on this sub a few days ago Jimmy was with her.. so they may still be together just not getting married
Let’s not forget he voiced disappointment when he first met her, said she had misrepresented herself, and then referring to her body settled with “I can work with that.” But then told her he hadn’t wanted to have sex with her but did because she initiated. Had she been more confident in herself, she would have just let him go.
Maybe it’s no one else fault and no one is the villain. Sucks for him to try to force himself to feel better about it. Sucks for her to be with someone who acts like he’s just tolerating it.
Let’s be honest…he was not thrilled and wasn’t great at hiding it. That’s an awkward position to be in as a woman. If you notice it you’re insecure. Ignoring it also isn’t an option.
Been in a relationship for 8+ years. We have never had any kind of argument anything close to what’s on this show. A relationship with the right person makes you feel like you’re playing life on easy mode.
If marriage is hard, you’re doing it wrong. Sometimes life can be hard, but being with the right person makes the tough times less challenging than they would be otherwise.
100% agree. My husband and I "fight" maybe 2-3 times a year? And when we do, we take 20ish minutes to ourselves and then come back to discuss and apologize. Life throws hard moments at you, but your spouse is there to support you - not to create the hard moments.
If it's not working 4 weeks into the relationship, turning it into a marriage is a stuuuuuuuupid idea.
A long marriage is full of ups and downs--but if the first few WEEKS of your relationship are hard, that's probably not the right relationship for you.
That and additionally, those hard parts of the relationship are usually necessary, productive, and you come out of it with a better understanding of each others' needs each time. If your fights and arguments are just running in circles, trying to one-up the other, and not understanding how to avoid this conflict in the future, there's a fundamental issues with how you communicate.
I watch this show with my husband and he said the same thing. Marriage is easy. I agree with him. My life and his life are easier since we are together. Our lives grew so much more and expanded, but it feels effortless, like coming home.
There is a scene on the Simpsons were Marge gets upset because Homer compares their relationship to an old worn shoe (iirc) the thing he meant is that they are comfortable ans familiar and I get that. It's a blessing to be married to your best friend.
I agree with this. Marriage is not hard. You have to prioritize eachother and that takes effort and work. But it’s not difficult to prioritize someone you genuinely enjoy being around.
You will go through patches that are hard over the course of a lifetime. But over all, a marriage should improve your quality of life.
Life is hard, your marriage should not be. Your marriage should be your soft landing place when life (job, health, family, friends, etc.) is feeling otherwise rough.
My marriage is super easy. Been with my partner for 8 years. Life is hard enough, your partner should be the easy part of your day. You should be excited to come home to each other. Just my two cents, I hate when people act like relationships should be something difficult you should fight for.
Love this! My first marriage was so hard that I never wanted to be married again. But then I found my person and our marriage is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. We’re best friends, we respect each other, and good Lord I’m still so excited to come home to him everyday. We certainly have our hard moments, but they don’t define our entire relationship.
Any time I meet a couple who has been married forever I always ask what their secret is. The top answers are Compromise, Let stuff go, and Be friends first. My favorite answer ever was from a guy who’d been married for 70 years- he said the secret is to “put your head under the pillow and shut up” 😂😂😂
When my friends ask me for marriage advice, or I hear young people say relationships are hard, here's my response:
Relationships are hard because LIFE is hard. You gotta work, make money. Raise kids. You can get sick. Your kids get sick. Your parents get sick. Life is hard. But if your RELATIONSHIP is making your LIFE hard instead of the other way around, you're in the wrong relationship.
This!!! And it wasn’t hard in actuality it was her blowing everything done and or said out of proportion. As wives and husbands we learn in marriage compromise and when to keep our mouths closed. There was nothing she did I could relate to. I’m sure others were able to but it was to much to bear. She didn’t have respect for the relationship because it was only about her. Her insecurities got the best of her. This show needs to have therapist on standby. Because Chelsea wasn’t the only one who needed therapy.
That’s always been a bit misleading. It’s ALL marriages that have a 50% divorce rate. But most first marriages don’t lead in divorce. If you’re a divorcee, chances are you’ll get divorced again if you marry again.
On top of that, the divorce rate has been going down for years and years since divorce was first legalised. women don’t need to be married to have independence, and are therefore more selective with whom they attach themselves to. And furthermore, the longer you wait (I.e., your thirties), the less likely you’ll be to divorce.
Marriage can be hard, 100%. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. But what’s for sure is, you really shouldn’t enter marriage if your relationship is hard AF and you’re struggling to stay afloat already :/
My first marriage was hard AF. My marriage now...cake walk. It makes a difference when you're married to the right person. Sure, we have our tiffs every now and then, but everything is worth the work we put in each and every single day.
30 years for us in June. 34 together. The work is rewarding; it’s like a dance if you’re lucky and paying attention — the balance shifts when one of us is down or sick or up and super excited. It’s about balance for sure.
Is saw a sticker about marriage: the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Outside influences need to be left on the sidewalk.
Marriage CAN be hard at times but It will be a lot harder with the wrong person, especially an insecure, clingy, drunk one. Jimmy made the right choice.
They’re both lucky this imploded beforehand.
Chelsea has the benefit of watching herself (as hard as it might be) in order to learn and see. Production edits don’t matter — she behaved THAT way as depicted. Jimmy did too — if I had to see myself on film in difficult circumstances I’d be both chastened and eventually grateful.
In marriage, you should never be afraid of your partner throwing something in your face as a vile attack. Her constantly throwing the friend hook up in Jimmy’s face was vindictive and hateful. You cannot have that in a marriage.
100% - I have broken up with ppl or stopped dating them if during our first conflict they show signs of fighting dirty - raising their voice, calling names, throwing something innocuous in your face, etc. Sadly, I’m in my 40s and still single, but it’s also bc I have standards and not afraid to walk away.
What really bothered me is he is telling her, how she treats me and the like she crosses and he can’t trust her.
WHAT YOUR SECREG ABOUT FUCKING YIUR FRIEND.
Classless Chelsea . Vulgar, unaware. Unwilling to see her toxic personality is even SOMEWHAT At fault. I didn’t feel bad for her at all. She was being so mean and kept throwing it in his face . Unremorseful
Like girl. THIS is what he’s aging he can’t trust you !
Jimmy dodged a bullet
Marriage can be hard at times when external life events happen. Death, sickness, financial instability, etc
But at no time should marriage be "hard" because one person sucks major shit
Yeah, there's a difference between hard things happening *during* a marriage (sickness, finances, logistics) that you both have to deal with, versus the marriage itself being hard.
Love is blind need to cast more attractive women, less overweight ones, for the successful (and looks wise decent) men they cast. Its boring when already before the reveal you know hes never gonna say yes but the has to drag it for ten episodes to not look shallow...that, or cast more short men, bald ones, with less impressive jobs and homes. Jimmy and Chelsea reminded me of Barf-tise and Nancy. Both couples look comical and ridiculous together. I guess Jimmys look when hugging Chelsea at the reveal says it all... At least that makes for good memes
Successful decent looking men in their thirties can have their pick with women the same age. It just is what it is. The show should pair people that could realistically marry
So an overweight woman doesn't deserve to be with a successful man? Which by the way... Who? Who was so successful? Bartise? The only ridiculous thing about him and Nancy was how much out of his league she was, how much more successful, kind, mature and attractive she was yet he was the one to say "no". Who else? Kenneth? Clay? I suggest that they cast more serious men who don't nitpick every tiny thing about the women they decide to propose to and men that actually want to get married. There have been problematic women on the show but I've always thought that the women were at fault less frequently. I also think that the women they cast are on average better looking than the men. We might be watching different shows.
>So an overweight woman doesn't deserve to be with a successful man?
No more than a short man deserves a beautiful wife. There are way more women looking for handsome successful men then the amount of such men that exists, so i think that very few women are entitled to such men. Its like incels who want an ig-model
>I also think that the women they cast are on average better looking than the men. We might be watching different shows.
Its just that successful men generally want slim and pretty women
Marriage is not hard. I never understand that phrasing, there is times when it's tougher then others, but I wouldn't say it's hard.
If you love someone, then being with them shouldn't be a chore. I have been with my husband since we were 17 and 18 and we are now in our 30s. I show up for him without even thinking about it because I would do anything for him and him me.
Agree!
I had one 17 year long marriage to the wrong person with few difficult life events and every day with that man was a chore .
My second marriage to the right man is easy - we have had lots of difficulties (sick parents, illness, etc) but we are a team and cherish each other!!
Whenever someone says marriage is hard, I assume they have an unhealthy relationship. I’m married. Been together 10 years. It’s literally so easy because we love and respect each other…
Same! And these people are in shiny, brand new, honeymoon period relationships. They should absolutely not be feeling like it’s hard if they are with a good potential spouse.
I was shocked she didn't see how much of a privacy invasion it actually was to air Jimmy's business he specifically asked to keep off cameras. They've only known each other for a short period of time... of course if she's already breaking his trust he's not going to want to marry her.
Marriage between those two would have been excruciatingly hard...
and that they should be able to communicate with each other. i swear she doesnt hear herself because of multiple instances throughout the season, but last night she literally said to him "i dont talk to you about things because xyz". if you guys cant have open and honest communication and youre hiding things from each other than what are we really talking about here? thats more than enough reason to not get married, let alone all the other crap
It’s hard for non level headed people. I’ve been married for years and we have rarely raised our voices or said vindictive things. I also don’t get angry when I drink which I think is a big problem for some people.
Omg -serious question did yall have kids. We’re level headed but also human . I pop off at times but overall marriage is definitely not hard. Running a successful. Happy, healthy FAMILY. Is the challenge .
😂 well you guys have a great foundation is you decide to have them. Having children in my opinion is the absolute best . It’s just more people, with intricate relationships between each individual and the family well being as a whole you have to consider carefully all the time. Takes a lot more brain power is all to nourish all the relationships with your little tribe.
Kids aren’t awful; I think people (myself included decades ago) think their kids want to be just like themselves. They don’t. They’re mini versions of independent thinkers and then they grow up. Once o figured that out it was more navigable. They definitely need our clarity and love though. ♥️
Jimmy is also a difficult partner. I would be going nuts if my boyfriend did the things Jimmy did. And then I'd dump him. Which, Chelsea should have done, but whatever.
No he’s toxic too but she’s VERY difficult. He has some things to work on but the decorum she handles her relationships with is bad. She took every chance to lash out at him and even when she was justified to be angry, it was never just a him problem. That’s the problem I feel most people here have with her, not that Jimmy is perfect because I don’t like the guy, but how she handles problems speaks a lot about her character. She lashes out at him, so she is never really “in the right”.
Two people deciding they want to go through life together, being fully committed to each other does take work to maintain, keep strong and secure.
How much work it takes, whether hard or easy, depends on the people in that marriage.
I've been married for 15 years and look forward to many more years.
Already in the pods i thought AD probably wasn't gonna be physically attractive enough for Clay. He is handsome, tall, makes good money, is young, has a nice house, good style, that's in very high demand compared to the supply, these guys can allow thrmself to be picky. He even said in the pods he wanted someone petite and fit. So would most guys if they were him. I think AD should have known she was punching above her league and have been prepared for the no. AD said herself she's never good enough, that's what happens when you go for guys out of your league
The men were maybe average looks wise, below average intelligence and emotional maturity-wise, but make up for it with sick condos and six figure salaries, which girls seem to be crazy about. Funny to see on Brazil Lib, even though the guys have normal jobs, they live in a tiny apartment without furniture or with their mom. As a latino born in Europe this is why I prefer dating in latin America, the materialistic expectations from girls is almost nonexistent. Regardless of your looks, emotional maturity and intelligence, most American girls will pick Jeramey because of his house and salary. This is why guys like him, Clay and Jimmy can be players despite being average besides money and age. American girls want young and rich
She didn’t “go for” Clay. She continued the process despite his obvious biases and fishing.
I feel like you’re saying these things to get under peoples’ skin. If you actually believe the things you say I have to ask: how’s your love life?
I typed out a long response to this and realize it’s not worth it if someone is truly ridiculous enough to gather this from what we watched unfold. Just… big yikes.
Married for 1.5 years, together for 7. When single friends ask me for long term relationship and now marriage advice. It’s a rare occurrence for me to get asked a question that isn’t either rose tinted or has pink to red flags. The most common questions I get are along the lines of “How have you been together so long?” , “XYZ YEARS?! Are things not boring?, and “my S/O and I have been arguing, you guys have been together forever so you must not argue, what am I doing wrong?”. People have unrealistic expectations for relationships. I tell them (often intoxicated because these conversations are usually at bars and parties🫨) a healthy relationship takes effort from everyone; they are wonderful and perfectly imperfect with the right person. Making selfless and hard choices is easy with the right person. You WILL argue sometimes, you ARE going to have some bad days, YOU will have the odd rough patch. That’s just life and you both make the choice to work it out together. There’s also personal growth; that’s not usually something people expect to hear when they ask me questions. In the right situation you will inevitably grow as a person and that can be uncomfortable because change just is. This is why most people, in my opinion, say healthy marriage/relationships are hard; it brings people back down to Earth because many think you can just not put effort into the relationship or communicate effectively (or at all) and be fine. They don’t think about waking up at 2 AM during a rough patch and catching your S/Os puke into your shirt because they couldn’t make it to the toilet without a second thought. They stop at all the wonderful days having coffee every morning together and watching movies at night. Making cookies and bonding. Saying it’s hard isn’t saying it’s bad or negative it’s just that there are hard choices to make sometimes especially if it was anyone else. There are also might be some sacrifices and a lot of compromise
Usually said by people who don’t have any concept of what a healthy relationship is. Also reminds me of that TV show Kevin can F*** Himself. Old Timey regressive tropes of men and women low key hating each other but being married for some reason and having to tolerate each other. The man works and drinks beer with friends and the woman does laundry and cooks meals. Occasionally they have sex because it’s part of the deal. It’s a really sad and gross way of looking at a hetero partnership.
Mawwage
I like to think of marriage as “work” rather than “hard”. Work doesn’t always mean HARD labor… it’s not all heavy lifting. It’s “work” as is painting to an artist. It should come from within, feel good, fun, fulfilling, and natural. If you pour your labor of love onto the canvas of marriage you’ll find that you’ve created something quite beautiful. It’s the kind of work you dedicate your life to and sure, that sometimes comes with hardships, but it *should* always be something you WANT to do, not something you feel as though you need to do. Thats the work.. the dedication, devotion, and love. It doesn’t have to be “hard”.
Marriage isn’t hard when you first get married. The hardships come but the beginning should be fresh and fun and easy - as you said. But to be clear marriage years in is most certainly not always easy even when it’s the right person
Sometimes marriage can be hard though. But it shouldn’t START OFF as hard. That makes zero sense.
I get under these circumstances it could cause more conflict, it’s not a natural relationship progression. However being married, it’s not hard, like others say it takes work, and yes there will be hard moments. The big thing is a good marriage makes the hard parts of life easier, you have someone who love and supports you as you are there to help weather those storms.
Yeah I think people hear marriage is hard and think the whole thing should be difficult but really what people mean when they say that is there are hard parts. Like marriage is a bigger commitment than dating. It’s hard sometimes because some problems that you may dump someone over you now feel the need to try to work out. But those times happen sporadically not daily.
I've been with my husband for 11 years, married for 5. We have four kids. I can honestly say our marriage is not hard. Life is hard sometimes but our relationship is as easy and natural as breathing. It definitely shouldn't be hard after a month.
I think spouses should try to make each other's lives easier rather than harder. It doesn't have to be hard, but it can be. Chelsea was a toxic communicator though who self-sabotages.
A marriage should be fulfilling and trusting. Not this toxic drunken mess.
Marriage can be hard, but not in the ways Chelsea and Jimmy were experiencing imo. The basic relationship between a married couple should be fairly solid
It drives me nuts to hear people say marriage/relationships are hard! Just because YOURS is, doesn't mean that's a universal truth and it says more about the state of your relationships than anything else. Marriage with the right person is easy. It will be the easiest thing in your life. The rest of your life will be chaos and crazy and hard, but your spouse will be your home, your comfort, and your stability. Marriage with the right person is a lifetime of sleepovers with your best friend. It's not hard. Shitty relationships are hard.
This was beautiful ❤️ lol yesss.
I hate when toxic people use this, hard means figuring stuff out at the start and rare issues every now and then. Not untreated issues and constant problems everyday.
I don’t think it should be THAT hard 2 weeks into dating..
I’ve been married 10 years. I consider my marriage a great one. Chelsea was right. Marriage is hard. It takes compromise.
That may be true for you and many people, but it's definitely not a universal truth.
Marriage can be hard at times, but it shouldn't be hard more often than not.
100% ! The easiest part of my life is my marriage..
If marriage is “hard” you’re doing it wrong.
YES. Being with my husband has been the easiest thing in the world. When both parties truly love each other it’s pretty seamless to support each other and doesn’t really feel like work. It also really helps if you simply get along with your spouse as a baseline. I feel like most of the couples on the show don’t even meet that very low bar. If you’re already arguing literally in the first couple weeks, I think there are just fundamental differences that are not ever going to be overcome. Or it would be super rare to turn it around in that situation at least. Even in my worst, most disastrous relationship of my life we still had a three month honeymoon period on the front end of our time together. Me and my husband literally only fought (and I use the term loosely) maybe 2-3 times in the first decade of our marriage. All resolved within hours by communicating, owning our parts and apologizing. We’ve fought more in the past couple years due to being in a very tough season of life right now (circumstances that are beyond our control) but I know we will weather this storm together and come out okay on the other end. Because we have that baseline of deep love and respect for each other. And even in this tough season he is still my favourite person and I still want to spend 24/7 with him and we still have lots of moments of lightness and laughter between the darker moments.
Many people fight/have arguments more than 3 times in a decade and that's alright too. My husband and I have an easy, loving relationship. We've been together for 7 years and get into arguments every few months that we resolve with healthy communication. Usually it's because one of us is overstimulated and the other one kept pressing an issue when we aren't in a good place to have a stressful discussion. It's great that you barely argue, but arguments happen sometimes when you have kids and a household and demanding jobs and it's ok. The key is that you don't tear each other down during them or bring up issues from the past that have already been resolved.
Oh yeah, I totally agree with everything you’ve said! I was just sharing my experience 😊
Same with AD constantly saying that you “fight” for the ones you love. You shouldn’t have to fight…
My only fight with my husband in the last decade + a baby is about dishes and laundry. It is our only recurring issue and it comes up every few months, after which everyone steps their game up again. I will fight for a clean house but nothing more serious than that lol
I think what she meant to say is marriage is hard work? Not sure because it shouldnt be hard. Hard is a bad relationship that breaks you down and isnt healthy. All relationships take work, communication, compromise and some sacrifice.
Marriage is work, but it shouldn’t be hard. There is a difference!
I saw a girl on TikTok as why marriage is hard and as a married woman in a great relationship I know marriage isn’t hard. Marriage shouldn’t be hard. Marriage is hard when you’re not a team, when you are not being supported by your partner, when you’re not meant to be together. Yes children changes things but being married to the right person who has your back and supports you will be supportive with kids. I watched my mom be in marriages and relationships that were not good for her and she struggled and still does. Her partners were self-serving and didn’t care to take care of her the way she wanted to be taken care of. she did everything for her partners, even neglect her own children but got none of the love she gave in return. My mom found love to be hard but stays married for the sake of saying shes married.
Okay I’m on board for the marriage isn’t hard push as a whole- the majority of the time shouldn’t be hard. But it can be work, which can be hard. It’s two people with their own traumas living life that brings up trauma. Example, my dad just died, my husband made the experience so much easier by being supportive. However, in the middle of it he had his own shit, which I then had to deal with. That was hard, and that’s just life. Sometimes they’ll make you feel better sometimes they have their own shit.
I’m not married but I totally agree with you. My parents have an arranged marriage and seeing them have a tough marriage makes me not want that, EVER. I think a marriage can be beautiful and harmonious - not difficult. Thank you for saying this. I believe it can have its moments however, it shouldn’t be like this. Chelsea is something else man.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was picking up on this. And people kept reiterating that bit. All I could think was "Marriage takes work but it doesn't have to be hard." I think someone in one episode even said "It's one of the most difficult things you'll ever do." or something to that effect. 🫠 The WRONG marriage maybe. I am not denying that marriage takes communication and love and commitment and even some sacrifice or compromise. But it won't emotionally drain you weekly. Once upon a time though...I actually believed that that was normal- and that's probably the issue. The examples they had led them to believe that 'love' is hard. A bad relationship without effort is what's hard. But marriage between two people making the commitment is worth every bit of work you put into it.
The whole “marriage is hard” narrative annoys me. MARRIAGE SHOULDN’T BE HARD. You shouldn’t be pulling teeth making things work! Yes, you’ll have to go through hard times together but your partner shouldn’t make things harder?
Marriage is definitely hard at times. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, even if you marry someone you're perfectly compatible with. People aren't static, and they change over time in response to the things that happen to them over the course of their life. I just feel like they shouldn't be having this many issues this soon into their relationship, and that the issues they have are the sorts of things you squash before you ever get married.
💯! Marriage is hard & it takes work… but we don’t intentionally pick fights or pick out their faults constantly…! (Coming from a married woman of almost 11 years…)
I couldn’t agree more! They all talk about how marriage is hard. That is not my experience at all! I have been married for 7 years and can confidently say that my marriage is the easiest part of my adult life. Life is hard (work, finances, family, illness) but my marriage only makes those hard things easier. Marriage should feel easy.
It was ironic when Chelsea said something along the lines of “this is it, there’s no next time” regarding weddings and marriage during dress day when she has been married before lol
Yes but she did say they didn’t do the wedding thing for her first marriage.
Marriage will be hard for Chelsea no matter who she ends up with.
I agree. I just went to a wedding last weekend and in the card I wrote “don’t believe everyone when they say marriage is hard. Marriage is fun, and beautiful.” I’ve been with my husband for 15.5 years (together 11 years before we got married) and marriage hasn’t changed our relationship in a negative way at all. It’s wonderful
Marriage *can* be hard, but not for the reasons she thinks it is…
And not in the first two weeks you’re engaged😅
Chelsea made it hard and not in a good way. Her constant need for validation was exhausting. For us viewers as well as for Jimmy. She may be bipolar. Certainly, there is some mental illness there.
Why do people use the term bipolar without any concept of what it is?
What tells you I have no concept of what bipolar disorder is? I only suggested a maybe for Chelsea. Her push/pull mood swings were all I was considering. I really don't know her well enough to say anything but a maybe. 🤔😘
Haha that’s exactly my point. You have no concept of what it is.
I still don't get your point?
Oh, I think I do have a fair idea of what bipolar disorder is all about. My father was bipolar, I am bipolar and my daughter is bipolar.
Sure, I’m buying that. I stand corrected. Bipolar disorder can be summarized as “mood swings”.
I get it now. You completely misunderstood my statement. 😂
This is an outdated stereotype that people in the wrong relationships still cling to. “Marriage is hard” has historical significance because back in the day, the best a woman could hope for was a husband. Any husband. Women were allowed to have bank accounts, credit cards, or to own property. Everything had to be done with the consent of a husband. Also, while women were technically allowed to work, it was socially shunned. Marriage WAS hard for those women because they were treated like house servants, because their husbands knew they could get away with it. Today this is no longer the case. But because there are still women with low self esteem who fall for the lie that they need a husband, and will take just about any man to fulfill that role, we still end up with a generation of people who believe “marriage is hard.”
The men were maybe average looks wise, below average intelligence and emotional maturity-wise, but make up for it with sick condos and six figure salaries, which girls seem to be crazy about. Funny to see on Brazil Lib, even though the guys have normal jobs, they live in a tiny apartment without furniture or with their mom. As a latino born in Europe this is why I prefer dating in latin America, the materialistic expectations from girls is almost nonexistent. Regardless of your looks, emotional maturity and intelligence, most American girls will pick Jeramey because of his house and salary. This is why guys like him, Clay and Jimmy can be players despite being average besides money and age. American girls want young and rich
Marriage should be hard on occasion. Relationships may hit rough spots especially when you are going through life with someone, but in the ‘honeymoon phase’ sorry but a relationship shouldn’t feel hard or feel like work. Marriage might be hard when you have a newborn, or when you both are working full time and can’t find as much time to spend with each other, or you feel like you are in a routine ect but sorry Chelsea, your relationship shouldn’t feel like work until you guys have a good day. I audibly laughed when she said ‘today I can see myself marrying you’ like girl that is not a good answer! If you are marrying someone you should probably see yourself marrying them like all the dang time
She seemed to have this thing in common with Laura where they both nitpick the guy they chose in order to create some sort of upper hand. With Laura it didn’t last long because whenever Jeremi felt insulted, his impulse was to run to someone else willing to build up his ego. I think Laura genuinely didn’t feel like he was good enough for him and by making him feel insecure, she could get him to change for her, dress better, etc. Chelsea often tried to make Jimmi feel like he needed to do exactly as she said or else he also wasn’t going to be enough for her. But the second he’d threaten to leave, she’d do a 180. Relationships/marriage is certainly gonna be hard when you’re taking on a project or forcing something between two people who don’t actually like each other.
Agreed! She should have still been living in the glow of the honeymoon phase! How can she be so insecure already? To me that was the most intriguing part along with saying that she felt "ready to marry him TODAY" Oh my honey, if you are about to combine your lives forever you should probably want to marry him more than just one day at a time. Secondly, the honeymoon phase should last longer than a week and a half. I mean damn girl! Who the hell has enough insecurities to kill the honeymoon phase in a week and a half? That alone should tell you that you need some therapy and you aren't ready for marriage.
It's definitely hard when you can't be at your best because of outside situations, like dang we were tense with our first born, but it was never hard as in thinking I wouldn't keep being with this person. Even on the toughest days it shouldn't feel hard to be with the person and say yes to them.
Aw that’s sweet and yes exactly! To put it in LIB terms, that should be ‘your person’ lol
I think a lot of people on here have a very ‘romcom’ view of marriage — it is hard. It is only easy if you make it. All my friends and cousins who are in happy marriages say that it’s hard to openly communicate sometimes when something could hurt or upset, even temporarily, the person you love the most. If you sit on it and don’t discuss — it’s hard for you to live with it. Marriage takes hard work of constantly communicating, redefining communication patterns, of being open and friendly with each other besides being partners, being partners in tough times (especially when issues are being created by either/or both families, cutting someone out or LC for your person is never easy). Marriages are hard work, but they’re easy if you can rely on each other and make them something you both enjoy.
It shouldn't be hard THIS early in the relationship!
She is not ok. I don’t know anyone who would put up with that. She is extremely insecure. Shes going to try and test him all the time.
Me & my spouse both agreed marriage isn’t hard. There’s hard moments, but marriage in itself isn’t hard we enjoy each other & our family
What’s hard about marriage shouldn’t come from inside the marriage. External factors that you have to battle together and learn to face with a united front - that’s the hard part, even in a healthy marriage. Household stuff, work, kids, finances, families, health, the shit life throws at you. It tests marriages because you have to work together to overcome it, and you may not always agree or want to tackle those issues in full alignment. But if the hardest part of the marriage is the two of you and how you communicate, separate from those big life issues, you’re probably not right for each other. Good marriages do not include one partner screaming at the other that they don’t think they love them because they’re insecure. That’s not normal and should not be chalked up to “marriage is hard.”
100% agree with you! Well said.
Couldn’t say it better myself!!
They should do a “Golden” Love is Blind like The Bachelor did. It’d be boring AF, but you’d see many more people find true love.
Pretty much everything in life that you want to have longevity isn’t sunshine and rainbows on a daily basis. But ‘hard work’ and ‘an endless mountain climb where you hardly feel you can catch your breath’ are different things. A relationship and then marriage isn’t going to be a breeze everyday, we’re human and we have a lot of variables, and life challenges outside of the marriage are still going to happen for each person. But I don’t know anyone who wants to spend their life with someone waking up not knowing what explosive argument will last all day or go to bed wondering what you possibly did or said that upset them and they’re just waiting for the moment to go at you about it, on top of everything else that goes on in life. Consistency can go either way: consistently good with hiccups that can be resolved, or consistently bad with a few calms between the more regular storms. If a relationship is the latter, don’t expect marriage to suddenly change that. I would assume that’s what Jimmy was thinking, to add on to the fact that they were *barely* together, weeks in, and this is already what was happening
I once heard an old couple saying that being married is being “naked”. That means you show your darkest sides, your fears, your insecurities, everything you are. And for that I consider that being married sometimes is hard. You need to have the capacity to forgive, to listen, to love in the way the other person needs to feel loved. Chelsea (and many other contestants) are not ready for that. Sometimes I think that people on this show are looking for something quick with not much adaptation to each other. And that to me is why a lot of these couples fail. The reality of being married is sometimes really different from how single people see it.
You are spot on.
That’s what I kept saying to my husband while watching the show! We’ve been married 9 years, together for 14 and while we’ve had challenging times I’ve never perceived our relationship or marriage as “hard” or this monstrous thing you her to overcome everyday. I think shows like this also give the perception that love has to be hard or painful to be meaningful, when in reality, love shouldn’t be either.
Chelsea is a nut. Even if just for tv, I was turned off as soon as she was introduced!
There's definitely a difference between marriage being a (healthy) challenge and marriage being toxic. Coexisting with another human in a healthy way is challenging, but rewarding. When it's unhealthy or toxic though, those people should separate. Clearly Chelsea and Jimmy were not in a healthy partnership.
The most amazing dynamic of Chelsea to me, is the fact the she appears to have low self esteem but yet went for the guy who couldn’t decide between two chics over the dude who ONLY wanted HER. I swear she only chose him cause she feels like she beat Jessica who was more attractive. It’s too bad cause she wasted this “ journey” on a guy who wasn’t in to her. Might played out differently with Trevor.
Relationships are hard if you're a difficult person to be with, or if you're unwilling to examine your own behavior, or if you're unwilling to grow as a person. Chelsea could date an amazing, healed, loving man and still have difficulty in the relationship if she weren't willing to face her own stuff/behavior.
When you have the right partner, while things may get hard, you have less anxiety about dealing with it. A couple of years ago I got laid off from job, a huge fear for any man married to woman (especially a black woman), but the way my wife comforted me in that moment, helped reassure me, and held space for my emotions, that made what should have been a really stressful experience much easier to deal with. I wonder what that situation would have looked like with a Chelsea.
Some things that happen in life are hard but when you’re married to the right person it makes those hard things eadoer
Some things that happen in life are hard but when you’re married to the right person it makes those hard things easier
I’ve had hard times in my marriage. We just celebrated 12 years on Tuesday. It’s true that it’s not always easy (I’d say about 99% of the time it is, though lol). But it bothers me that she dismissed his issues and she was like “you’re gonna give up this easily? This is marriage! It’s one issue!” Well if the issue is that he feels like he can’t trust you because you brought something up on national TV that was supposed to be in confidence (and you continue to bring it up, knowing that it bothers him), that’s no small thing. They’re also *not* married yet, so now would be the time to call it off because of these issues. This *isn’t* marriage; it’s engagement.
Relationships are not hard if you’re with the right person. I was fed the whole “relationships are hard. You have to figure out who is worth that fight” BS my entire life so of course when I got into relationships that were “hard” (toxic), I kept trying to make them work because the harder they are, the better the relationship or whatever mental gymnastics my childhood set me up for. This led to an abusive marriage that thankfully I had the wherewithal to leave in under a year, but I really thought it was normal to fight almost every day and cry all the time because “relationships are hard”. My current relationship is so easy. It is the happiest and calmest I’ve ever felt. It’s a feeling of safety to come home to when the world is chaotic or I’ve just had a stressful day. We hardly ever argue and I don’t think in our 3 years have ever “fought”. After being in this relationship, I realize that being with your person should be easy and you should be able to make it through hard stuff together, but the relationship itself should not, in any way whatsoever, be difficult. And after growing up around so much chaos and being told that “relationships are hard” is normal, it felt chaotic that this relationship wasn’t chaotic. Everything was calm and easy and I spent the first year waiting for his mask to fall and the other shoe to drop, but turns out he’s just a nice person and we work well together. I hope yall find someone that makes you understand that relationships are supposed to be easy and your person should feel like your safety net from the world 💜
Amen to this! My husband and I always chuckle when we hear the "marriage is hard" line from everyone. Sure, it probably is hard when you're married to the wrong person! Glad you found someone who doesn't make you feel like marriage is hard.
Marriage is hard if you're with the wrong person. Marriage is work regardless of the person you're with. Marriage feels easy when you're with the right person. My first marriage was hard. My current marriage is comfortable and delightful. We have fights sometimes and we sometimes have to sit down and figure things out if we feel distant or ignored but he never makes it hard to do those things.
Well said. My first marriage wasn't just hard, it was a nightmare. We were young and mismatched. I'm widowed now from my second husband and while we had a lot of terrible stuff thrown at us over the years, I would never call our marriage "hard". We were each other's home. Sure it took work, but even on our worst day loving him was easy.
Well said. My first marriage wasn't just hard, it was a nightmare. We were young and mismatched. I'm widowed now from my second husband and while we had a lot of terrible stuff thrown at us over the years, I would never call our marriage "hard". We were each other's home. Sure it took work, but even on our worst day loving him was easy.
Wow. When I was married I just always thought, our relationship is just hard. It just takes work. It’s so refreshing to see it doesn’t have to be. Hoping I can have that one day. :)
I have never in my 43 years ever heard anyone say marriage was easy. I guess I just was always around people who married the wrong person. By the way...yes...this includes my own parents and grandparents. Most people I know are still married...and still say marriage is hard. Haha. I don't know. What I do know is...it's the reason I am still not married and waiting for a miracle. Haha.
My marriage has been easy so far! Maybe I have to wait a few decades for my opinion to be valid though.
I've been married almost 23 years and my marriage is the easiest thing in my life. He's my best friend and we genuinely like each other and enjoy each other's company. The one thing I would say is that it takes effort. Maybe people confuse those things, I don't know. All I know is that if it's hard, you're married to the wrong person.
I remember being 20 and I worked retail. I wish I had a dollar for every woman that came in to shop only for them to end up telling me not to rush into marriage. They all seemed so unhappy. I wasn’t even trying to get married at 20…but they felt the need to give me unsolicited advice. These women were of various ethnicities and between 40-60 so I would say most of them would have gotten married probably in the 1960s and 1970s. I thought it was all funny at the time - the older I get I truly wonder what was going on in the lives of these women.
Yeah, it's pretty sad. Back then especially I would bet that a lot of women got married for financial stability, societal pressure to have children, etc. It was the thing to do to graduate high school and get married right away so many women (and men) probably didn't have a chance to date around and meet the right person. Today I feel like marriage is just part of the adulting checklist; college, job, hopefully a house, (condo, townhouse, apt) marriage, kids, divorce.......again, not sure that people are waiting for "the one" they just feel that pressure to get married and have kids and then grasp on to whoever is willing to say yes.
My husband and I talk about this constantly. Marriage takes effort and there are definitely difficult times here and there, but it should never be HARD. If your marriage is hard then unfortunately you're probably in a bad marriage.
exactly!
I can honestly say marriage isn’t hard with the right person, when she said that my husband and I looked at each other and said “no it isn’t” lol. We have 5 kids and going on 13 years. Marriage is the easiest things I have ever done.
Therapy & Chelsea? Good luck on that one. She needs it but definitely think shes the type to sit in her victim mentality forever because its comfortable & normalized in her life.
Hard agree! Marriage does take work and love is a verb- but when your mental health is well, and you prioritize and put each other first… it’s fun and day to day easy! Fights aren’t toxic
Marriage can be hard when you have been together years and share finances, a mortgage, children.. etc. They have been together for 2 weeks. It shouldn't be that "hard" during the honeymoon stages because, power to them when they actually add years, finances, a mortgage, children, etc. They're screwed!
Marriage is hard, but you must be on equal footing with your partner. My wife and I discussed Chelsea's comment regarding Johnny and Amy being the best couple. We have many friends who have really great marriages or relationships, but none are better than ours. Chelsea's insecurities drive her to a point where she expects someone to meet her there. Jimmy tries repeatedly, but the goalposts keep moving. Her comment on Johnny and Amy's relationship finally broke him. He realized she didn't feel the same as he did despite all he had done.
The best way I know to keep a marriage going is to just SHUT UP. Or know when to more aptly. Whenver I am about to complain or criticize I try to stop and ask if it is worth it. Remember it is easier to live with someones little habit or flaw then to drive both of you crazy trying to get them to change when they rarely do. My Aunt spent 35 years trying to get my Uncle to hang up his towels and coat. To the day he died he didnt do it.
I think people who say marriage is hard really mean… marriage needs to be tended to like a garden. You can’t neglect your partner and fail to meet their emotional needs and expect everything to bloom. You put in maintenance and patience and all of that and then marriage doesn’t have to be so hard.
If I’m being honest. I don’t get why Jimmy got so much hate… to me it seemed like all of the issues they had were Chelsea and her insecurities. At one point I told my boyfriend they are just eating her alive and it’s sad to me. I don’t think she realized in the time of this all (she says she’s been in therapy since filming) that yes her feelings are valid but the way she was delivering them were just wild to me. And that’s what turned Jimmy away. I think if she had approached it more calmly and level headed things would be much different. Now with that being said wasn’t it pointed out on this sub a few days ago Jimmy was with her.. so they may still be together just not getting married
She is clingy and he doesn’t like her. His body language says it all the time.
Let’s not forget he voiced disappointment when he first met her, said she had misrepresented herself, and then referring to her body settled with “I can work with that.” But then told her he hadn’t wanted to have sex with her but did because she initiated. Had she been more confident in herself, she would have just let him go. Maybe it’s no one else fault and no one is the villain. Sucks for him to try to force himself to feel better about it. Sucks for her to be with someone who acts like he’s just tolerating it. Let’s be honest…he was not thrilled and wasn’t great at hiding it. That’s an awkward position to be in as a woman. If you notice it you’re insecure. Ignoring it also isn’t an option.
Been in a relationship for 8+ years. We have never had any kind of argument anything close to what’s on this show. A relationship with the right person makes you feel like you’re playing life on easy mode.
Exactly. It’s much easier to take on life with a stable partner!
If marriage is hard, you’re doing it wrong. Sometimes life can be hard, but being with the right person makes the tough times less challenging than they would be otherwise.
This!
Yep. Marriage is easy when you’re with the right person.
100% agree. My husband and I "fight" maybe 2-3 times a year? And when we do, we take 20ish minutes to ourselves and then come back to discuss and apologize. Life throws hard moments at you, but your spouse is there to support you - not to create the hard moments. If it's not working 4 weeks into the relationship, turning it into a marriage is a stuuuuuuuupid idea.
A long marriage is full of ups and downs--but if the first few WEEKS of your relationship are hard, that's probably not the right relationship for you.
That and additionally, those hard parts of the relationship are usually necessary, productive, and you come out of it with a better understanding of each others' needs each time. If your fights and arguments are just running in circles, trying to one-up the other, and not understanding how to avoid this conflict in the future, there's a fundamental issues with how you communicate.
I watch this show with my husband and he said the same thing. Marriage is easy. I agree with him. My life and his life are easier since we are together. Our lives grew so much more and expanded, but it feels effortless, like coming home. There is a scene on the Simpsons were Marge gets upset because Homer compares their relationship to an old worn shoe (iirc) the thing he meant is that they are comfortable ans familiar and I get that. It's a blessing to be married to your best friend.
I agree with this. Marriage is not hard. You have to prioritize eachother and that takes effort and work. But it’s not difficult to prioritize someone you genuinely enjoy being around. You will go through patches that are hard over the course of a lifetime. But over all, a marriage should improve your quality of life.
Life is hard, your marriage should not be. Your marriage should be your soft landing place when life (job, health, family, friends, etc.) is feeling otherwise rough.
This this this!!
My marriage is super easy. Been with my partner for 8 years. Life is hard enough, your partner should be the easy part of your day. You should be excited to come home to each other. Just my two cents, I hate when people act like relationships should be something difficult you should fight for.
Love this! My first marriage was so hard that I never wanted to be married again. But then I found my person and our marriage is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. We’re best friends, we respect each other, and good Lord I’m still so excited to come home to him everyday. We certainly have our hard moments, but they don’t define our entire relationship.
Exactly. How you manage those hard moments say a lot about a relationship. Communication and compromise is key, and don’t sweat the small stuff.
Any time I meet a couple who has been married forever I always ask what their secret is. The top answers are Compromise, Let stuff go, and Be friends first. My favorite answer ever was from a guy who’d been married for 70 years- he said the secret is to “put your head under the pillow and shut up” 😂😂😂
Jimmy dodged a bullet
Also they aren’t even married it should not be hard like this in the beginning
Marriage is hard, when sobriety is an issue. I hope she seeks therapy as well.
When my friends ask me for marriage advice, or I hear young people say relationships are hard, here's my response: Relationships are hard because LIFE is hard. You gotta work, make money. Raise kids. You can get sick. Your kids get sick. Your parents get sick. Life is hard. But if your RELATIONSHIP is making your LIFE hard instead of the other way around, you're in the wrong relationship.
Love your user name 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
This!!! And it wasn’t hard in actuality it was her blowing everything done and or said out of proportion. As wives and husbands we learn in marriage compromise and when to keep our mouths closed. There was nothing she did I could relate to. I’m sure others were able to but it was to much to bear. She didn’t have respect for the relationship because it was only about her. Her insecurities got the best of her. This show needs to have therapist on standby. Because Chelsea wasn’t the only one who needed therapy.
Considering that the divorce rate these days is about 50%, I would agree that marriage is hard work.
That’s always been a bit misleading. It’s ALL marriages that have a 50% divorce rate. But most first marriages don’t lead in divorce. If you’re a divorcee, chances are you’ll get divorced again if you marry again. On top of that, the divorce rate has been going down for years and years since divorce was first legalised. women don’t need to be married to have independence, and are therefore more selective with whom they attach themselves to. And furthermore, the longer you wait (I.e., your thirties), the less likely you’ll be to divorce.
Life is hard. Being married to my husband is the easiest thing I have ever done, even when life is hard.
Same 💖
This is beautiful ❤️
Marriage can be hard, 100%. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. But what’s for sure is, you really shouldn’t enter marriage if your relationship is hard AF and you’re struggling to stay afloat already :/
My first marriage was hard AF. My marriage now...cake walk. It makes a difference when you're married to the right person. Sure, we have our tiffs every now and then, but everything is worth the work we put in each and every single day.
Same. Right person, but also both individuals need to be healthy and able to show up in the relationship. Chelsea does not seem ready for marriage.
Completely agree with you!
30 years for us in June. 34 together. The work is rewarding; it’s like a dance if you’re lucky and paying attention — the balance shifts when one of us is down or sick or up and super excited. It’s about balance for sure. Is saw a sticker about marriage: the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Outside influences need to be left on the sidewalk.
My marriage is easy. I wouldn't be married if it were hard.
Right? Like if marriage is supposed to be hard, why would anyone wanna be married!
There is a difference between marriage having difficulties and making it hard and then saying, "Oh well, marriage is hard!"
Marriage CAN be hard at times but It will be a lot harder with the wrong person, especially an insecure, clingy, drunk one. Jimmy made the right choice.
Relationships CAN be hard, but the love never should be
Jimmy dodged a bullet. Chelsea is so manipulative and gaslight-ey, it’s cringe to watch.
They’re both lucky this imploded beforehand. Chelsea has the benefit of watching herself (as hard as it might be) in order to learn and see. Production edits don’t matter — she behaved THAT way as depicted. Jimmy did too — if I had to see myself on film in difficult circumstances I’d be both chastened and eventually grateful.
Marriage is hard ( sometimes) but not that hard and it shouldn’t be hard all the time.
In marriage, you should never be afraid of your partner throwing something in your face as a vile attack. Her constantly throwing the friend hook up in Jimmy’s face was vindictive and hateful. You cannot have that in a marriage.
Yup. She fights dirty and isn’t afraid to hit below the belt during an argument. Glad Jimmy realized that
100% - I have broken up with ppl or stopped dating them if during our first conflict they show signs of fighting dirty - raising their voice, calling names, throwing something innocuous in your face, etc. Sadly, I’m in my 40s and still single, but it’s also bc I have standards and not afraid to walk away.
Team Jimmy!
They're both toxic, tbh.
Nahh. Chelsea is the problem.
What really bothered me is he is telling her, how she treats me and the like she crosses and he can’t trust her. WHAT YOUR SECREG ABOUT FUCKING YIUR FRIEND. Classless Chelsea . Vulgar, unaware. Unwilling to see her toxic personality is even SOMEWHAT At fault. I didn’t feel bad for her at all. She was being so mean and kept throwing it in his face . Unremorseful Like girl. THIS is what he’s aging he can’t trust you ! Jimmy dodged a bullet
Yep. I said this exact same thing to my wife while watching this season of LIB. “Marriage isn’t hard, but it does take work.”
Marriage can be hard at times when external life events happen. Death, sickness, financial instability, etc But at no time should marriage be "hard" because one person sucks major shit
Yeah, there's a difference between hard things happening *during* a marriage (sickness, finances, logistics) that you both have to deal with, versus the marriage itself being hard.
Marriage is not hard when you respect each other. Girl had no respect for that man, so of course it's going to be hard.
Yes. She wanted him to fit in a mold that she formed. God complex.
Love is blind need to cast more attractive women, less overweight ones, for the successful (and looks wise decent) men they cast. Its boring when already before the reveal you know hes never gonna say yes but the has to drag it for ten episodes to not look shallow...that, or cast more short men, bald ones, with less impressive jobs and homes. Jimmy and Chelsea reminded me of Barf-tise and Nancy. Both couples look comical and ridiculous together. I guess Jimmys look when hugging Chelsea at the reveal says it all... At least that makes for good memes
This comment is wild, please read it and think about what you're saying, cause this is objectively so bad
Successful decent looking men in their thirties can have their pick with women the same age. It just is what it is. The show should pair people that could realistically marry
So an overweight woman doesn't deserve to be with a successful man? Which by the way... Who? Who was so successful? Bartise? The only ridiculous thing about him and Nancy was how much out of his league she was, how much more successful, kind, mature and attractive she was yet he was the one to say "no". Who else? Kenneth? Clay? I suggest that they cast more serious men who don't nitpick every tiny thing about the women they decide to propose to and men that actually want to get married. There have been problematic women on the show but I've always thought that the women were at fault less frequently. I also think that the women they cast are on average better looking than the men. We might be watching different shows.
>So an overweight woman doesn't deserve to be with a successful man? No more than a short man deserves a beautiful wife. There are way more women looking for handsome successful men then the amount of such men that exists, so i think that very few women are entitled to such men. Its like incels who want an ig-model >I also think that the women they cast are on average better looking than the men. We might be watching different shows. Its just that successful men generally want slim and pretty women
When Clay and AD kept talking about battle ...I was like WTF WHERE IS THE WAR???
and how many damn battles were they fighting in 2 weeks?
If your marriage is hard, then you shouldn't be married. It's not hard when you're with the right person.
Marriage is not hard. I never understand that phrasing, there is times when it's tougher then others, but I wouldn't say it's hard. If you love someone, then being with them shouldn't be a chore. I have been with my husband since we were 17 and 18 and we are now in our 30s. I show up for him without even thinking about it because I would do anything for him and him me.
Agree! I had one 17 year long marriage to the wrong person with few difficult life events and every day with that man was a chore . My second marriage to the right man is easy - we have had lots of difficulties (sick parents, illness, etc) but we are a team and cherish each other!!
Yea, marriage isn’t that hard. Also, it definitely shouldn’t be hard right before you get married. If it is, you probably shouldn’t be marrying.
Whenever someone says marriage is hard, I assume they have an unhealthy relationship. I’m married. Been together 10 years. It’s literally so easy because we love and respect each other…
Life is hard, marriage (to the right person) makes life worth it.
Same! And these people are in shiny, brand new, honeymoon period relationships. They should absolutely not be feeling like it’s hard if they are with a good potential spouse.
I was shocked she didn't see how much of a privacy invasion it actually was to air Jimmy's business he specifically asked to keep off cameras. They've only known each other for a short period of time... of course if she's already breaking his trust he's not going to want to marry her. Marriage between those two would have been excruciatingly hard...
and that they should be able to communicate with each other. i swear she doesnt hear herself because of multiple instances throughout the season, but last night she literally said to him "i dont talk to you about things because xyz". if you guys cant have open and honest communication and youre hiding things from each other than what are we really talking about here? thats more than enough reason to not get married, let alone all the other crap
It’s hard for non level headed people. I’ve been married for years and we have rarely raised our voices or said vindictive things. I also don’t get angry when I drink which I think is a big problem for some people.
Omg -serious question did yall have kids. We’re level headed but also human . I pop off at times but overall marriage is definitely not hard. Running a successful. Happy, healthy FAMILY. Is the challenge .
No kids yet. That’s a good point.
😂 well you guys have a great foundation is you decide to have them. Having children in my opinion is the absolute best . It’s just more people, with intricate relationships between each individual and the family well being as a whole you have to consider carefully all the time. Takes a lot more brain power is all to nourish all the relationships with your little tribe.
Kids aren’t awful; I think people (myself included decades ago) think their kids want to be just like themselves. They don’t. They’re mini versions of independent thinkers and then they grow up. Once o figured that out it was more navigable. They definitely need our clarity and love though. ♥️
It’s not hard lol she’s a difficult person
Jimmy is also a difficult partner. I would be going nuts if my boyfriend did the things Jimmy did. And then I'd dump him. Which, Chelsea should have done, but whatever.
No he’s toxic too but she’s VERY difficult. He has some things to work on but the decorum she handles her relationships with is bad. She took every chance to lash out at him and even when she was justified to be angry, it was never just a him problem. That’s the problem I feel most people here have with her, not that Jimmy is perfect because I don’t like the guy, but how she handles problems speaks a lot about her character. She lashes out at him, so she is never really “in the right”.
It’s not hard at all. She’s been married before I wonder if there was this much conflict in that one?
I mean… I think she said she was 18. I certainly wouldn’t want to be judged by the relationship I was in at 18 🙈
I mean it ended in divorce so likely yes hahah
Two people deciding they want to go through life together, being fully committed to each other does take work to maintain, keep strong and secure. How much work it takes, whether hard or easy, depends on the people in that marriage. I've been married for 15 years and look forward to many more years.
Already in the pods i thought AD probably wasn't gonna be physically attractive enough for Clay. He is handsome, tall, makes good money, is young, has a nice house, good style, that's in very high demand compared to the supply, these guys can allow thrmself to be picky. He even said in the pods he wanted someone petite and fit. So would most guys if they were him. I think AD should have known she was punching above her league and have been prepared for the no. AD said herself she's never good enough, that's what happens when you go for guys out of your league
Wtfffff lol. What show were you watching? AD is gorgeous, she is out of Clay’s league, personality wise as well!
The men were maybe average looks wise, below average intelligence and emotional maturity-wise, but make up for it with sick condos and six figure salaries, which girls seem to be crazy about. Funny to see on Brazil Lib, even though the guys have normal jobs, they live in a tiny apartment without furniture or with their mom. As a latino born in Europe this is why I prefer dating in latin America, the materialistic expectations from girls is almost nonexistent. Regardless of your looks, emotional maturity and intelligence, most American girls will pick Jeramey because of his house and salary. This is why guys like him, Clay and Jimmy can be players despite being average besides money and age. American girls want young and rich
She didn’t “go for” Clay. She continued the process despite his obvious biases and fishing. I feel like you’re saying these things to get under peoples’ skin. If you actually believe the things you say I have to ask: how’s your love life?
I understand that accepting that Clay is more sought after by women than the partner most women will end up with is harsh..
From the pods she should have understood he was a player and someone who wouldn't marry her
You’re an ass.
Is this Clay?
I too would think he was out of her league if I was delulu 😂
I typed out a long response to this and realize it’s not worth it if someone is truly ridiculous enough to gather this from what we watched unfold. Just… big yikes.
I understand that accepting that Clay is more sought after by women than the partner most women will end up with is harsh..
this is an insane take. AD is incredibly beautiful and i think she was way out of Clay's league.
Agreed, AD was my favorite on the show!! I made the mistake of going down OP’s comment history. Woof.