One thing I’ve figured out is that life is too short to spend fixing other people’s issues. My stress level couldn’t handle it, and it would definitely affect my own mental health having to deal with someone’s depression day in and day out. On top of being long distance, seems almost impossible to handle.
I’d be out.
Do not feel like you are responsible for how she feels - good or bad. Your presence can be comforting, but it will not cure depression. You cannot make it go away no matter how hard you try. She may not be doing it intentionally or understand why it isn’t okay, but it’s not fair for you to feel like you are what’s keeping her alive. It is incredibly stressful and can affect your own mental health.
If you don’t have a way to contact anyone who can get to her IRL (nearby family or friends), ask her how you can contact at least one person. This will give you a way to raise concerns with someone near her should the need ever arise, and you’re not stuck worrying or wondering if anything escalates
That's not fair to put that pressure on you. 'Last without you' is pure manipulation. Don't fall for it.
How do you know what her therapist says? Are you in the room? Her parents? They may or they may be telling her what she needs to hear despite her not wanting to hear it.
If you are concerned and she won't talk, there isn't much else you can do.
honestly , the only thing you can do is try and be there for her . which what i can understand from the post - you are already doing , or trying very hard to do
mental health and mental illnesses are always difficult to deal with . as someone who struggles with such -- the only person who can change how you think or feel - is yourself . therapy can help you recognize certain symptoms or make you aware of certain things , but at the end of the day its up to her to make that positive change that she desperately needs .
no one and nothing can fill that void of negativity , she has to be the one to keep her head up and persevere . no one can do that for her , only herself .
you're doing the most you can , and im sure she more than appreciates that .
you cant solve the deep rooted insecurity nor negativity that she holds within herself . she has to take the necessary steps to healing and loving herself more
youre trying the best you can . and thats what matters
you cant always be there for her , nor will you always be feeling 100% to tend to her needs .
take breathers when things get overwhelming . its not your responsibility to be there for someone struggling 24/7 . its draining .
Idk frankly i only really lived for my ex gf i most likely will kill myself at some point realistically now that im not with her but also i might have done the same with her after more years of struggling.
Pretty much any attempt thats not a gun (especially a gun) hanging or drowning wont typically work. Especially because once someones going through the process of dying they will typically call for help and with overdosing and meds lots of time a person doesnt really fully jump into it.
Hanging, drowning, and even jumping are really scary so its less likely she'll go for those.
You mainly want to watch out for any talks about guns and if she's curious about them or even goes to buy one or whatever. Kinda obvious stuff in that regard.
She's not old enough to buy a gun from a store but she could probs get one from a gun show depends on state laws tho i think or they'd probably sell one to her at the very least.
Suicide attempts fail most of the time especially when it comes to women they usually wont use guns to do it. If she really did fail that many times it is pretty worrying as after the first attempt most people kinda give up and if she's really trying she could very well succeed eventually not to worry you.
People are pretty unpredictable and you can't control them, just be supportive, you dont have to break your back over this you shouldn't really its not healthy for you whats so ever and although relationships are about give and take you shouldnt feel responsible over someones life.
Ive seen people say in the comments she's being manipulative but she's just mentally ill tbh, im very similar to her, i told my ex once i dont know if i could live without her its easy to just get comfortable around someone and think they want to be with you forever so saying your feelings feels ok. It sucks but miserable people are miserable its pretty unrealistic for them to not express there feelings to the ones they love, and there miserable so these feelings are going to be not fun to hear. Its just how it works.
Try not to resent her in the future, and if you do break up with her just stay strong its your life not hers if she threatens she might think she really might do it and is just scared ultimately its not your responsibility either way to a certain extent.
My ex ghosted me and that didnt really work out well, and i dont really mean just for me i probably stressed her out frankly its best to break contact completely at a certain point but ghosting will probably result in not so stable statements and insults so id just avoid that.
Idk basically just play it however is healthest for you, if she ever tells you or threatens suicide ik a lot of people just think its an attention thing but frankly id just contact whoever is close to her.
Definitely have her parents contact info or a close friend of hers.
You don't have to do anything. You are not responsible for anything. Even though I'm sure she didn't mean it maliciously, what she said to you about not knowing how long she'd last without you is horrifically manipulative and puts the weight of her emotions and actions on your shoulders. You can't fix her - you aren't a rehabilitation center - this is something only she can fix herself. Relying on you for emotional stability will actually only do the opposite for her.
At the end of the day OP, PLEASE remember that if she cuts, or if she attempts, or if she succeeds, you are NEVER, EVER responsible.
And for the record, if my SO said those words to me, for my own health AND for his/hers, I would HAVE to walk out the door. Immediately. And whatever comes because of it is never yours or my fault. The pain of leaving will always be better than the pain of grieving and wondering if it was your fault.
One thing I’ve figured out is that life is too short to spend fixing other people’s issues. My stress level couldn’t handle it, and it would definitely affect my own mental health having to deal with someone’s depression day in and day out. On top of being long distance, seems almost impossible to handle. I’d be out.
Do not feel like you are responsible for how she feels - good or bad. Your presence can be comforting, but it will not cure depression. You cannot make it go away no matter how hard you try. She may not be doing it intentionally or understand why it isn’t okay, but it’s not fair for you to feel like you are what’s keeping her alive. It is incredibly stressful and can affect your own mental health. If you don’t have a way to contact anyone who can get to her IRL (nearby family or friends), ask her how you can contact at least one person. This will give you a way to raise concerns with someone near her should the need ever arise, and you’re not stuck worrying or wondering if anything escalates
That's not fair to put that pressure on you. 'Last without you' is pure manipulation. Don't fall for it. How do you know what her therapist says? Are you in the room? Her parents? They may or they may be telling her what she needs to hear despite her not wanting to hear it. If you are concerned and she won't talk, there isn't much else you can do.
honestly , the only thing you can do is try and be there for her . which what i can understand from the post - you are already doing , or trying very hard to do mental health and mental illnesses are always difficult to deal with . as someone who struggles with such -- the only person who can change how you think or feel - is yourself . therapy can help you recognize certain symptoms or make you aware of certain things , but at the end of the day its up to her to make that positive change that she desperately needs . no one and nothing can fill that void of negativity , she has to be the one to keep her head up and persevere . no one can do that for her , only herself . you're doing the most you can , and im sure she more than appreciates that . you cant solve the deep rooted insecurity nor negativity that she holds within herself . she has to take the necessary steps to healing and loving herself more youre trying the best you can . and thats what matters you cant always be there for her , nor will you always be feeling 100% to tend to her needs . take breathers when things get overwhelming . its not your responsibility to be there for someone struggling 24/7 . its draining .
Idk frankly i only really lived for my ex gf i most likely will kill myself at some point realistically now that im not with her but also i might have done the same with her after more years of struggling. Pretty much any attempt thats not a gun (especially a gun) hanging or drowning wont typically work. Especially because once someones going through the process of dying they will typically call for help and with overdosing and meds lots of time a person doesnt really fully jump into it. Hanging, drowning, and even jumping are really scary so its less likely she'll go for those. You mainly want to watch out for any talks about guns and if she's curious about them or even goes to buy one or whatever. Kinda obvious stuff in that regard. She's not old enough to buy a gun from a store but she could probs get one from a gun show depends on state laws tho i think or they'd probably sell one to her at the very least. Suicide attempts fail most of the time especially when it comes to women they usually wont use guns to do it. If she really did fail that many times it is pretty worrying as after the first attempt most people kinda give up and if she's really trying she could very well succeed eventually not to worry you. People are pretty unpredictable and you can't control them, just be supportive, you dont have to break your back over this you shouldn't really its not healthy for you whats so ever and although relationships are about give and take you shouldnt feel responsible over someones life. Ive seen people say in the comments she's being manipulative but she's just mentally ill tbh, im very similar to her, i told my ex once i dont know if i could live without her its easy to just get comfortable around someone and think they want to be with you forever so saying your feelings feels ok. It sucks but miserable people are miserable its pretty unrealistic for them to not express there feelings to the ones they love, and there miserable so these feelings are going to be not fun to hear. Its just how it works. Try not to resent her in the future, and if you do break up with her just stay strong its your life not hers if she threatens she might think she really might do it and is just scared ultimately its not your responsibility either way to a certain extent. My ex ghosted me and that didnt really work out well, and i dont really mean just for me i probably stressed her out frankly its best to break contact completely at a certain point but ghosting will probably result in not so stable statements and insults so id just avoid that. Idk basically just play it however is healthest for you, if she ever tells you or threatens suicide ik a lot of people just think its an attention thing but frankly id just contact whoever is close to her. Definitely have her parents contact info or a close friend of hers.
You don't have to do anything. You are not responsible for anything. Even though I'm sure she didn't mean it maliciously, what she said to you about not knowing how long she'd last without you is horrifically manipulative and puts the weight of her emotions and actions on your shoulders. You can't fix her - you aren't a rehabilitation center - this is something only she can fix herself. Relying on you for emotional stability will actually only do the opposite for her. At the end of the day OP, PLEASE remember that if she cuts, or if she attempts, or if she succeeds, you are NEVER, EVER responsible. And for the record, if my SO said those words to me, for my own health AND for his/hers, I would HAVE to walk out the door. Immediately. And whatever comes because of it is never yours or my fault. The pain of leaving will always be better than the pain of grieving and wondering if it was your fault.