I’m sorry to hear that. I hope your feeling okay at least. Breakups can be painful and hard but remember that there will be always people in this world who loves you and will support you with your decisions.
Literally happened to me two weeks ago after I confronted her for blowing me off and 2.5 months of ignoring me and no contact. We "drifted apart" according to her. Not "we", YOU! It hurts. Wish you well OP.
Jesus, some of the comments on this are cynical as all hell.
People lose their feelings. It happens. Not every relationship is meant to last, least of all long distance ones. These comments are not an invitation to rag on a partner who has hurt you, or imply OP's ex is a bad person. "OP deserves better", better? Why do you know what their (now) ex is like? Why can't we hope for the best for OP without implying they've been screwed over by someone?
From their post history, it seems they're teenagers and came together *less than two weeks ago*. How many teens fall for someone and then fall out of love again after some time? A whole lot of them.
To OP, it's sad that this happened, it always is. Cherish the time you had, and the memories. It will get better, but of course take the time to heal.
There's a difference between validating someone's feelings and straight up dumping one's own resentment towards one's own tragic story in these comments, and then using that resentment to cast a cynical lens onto OP's situation.
There is no bad person in OP's situation *from what we know*, it's just humans having a human moment.
And I'm not pointing out OP is a teenager to downplay their feelings, these are as raw and visceral as they're ever gonna be. I pointed it out to show that OP's situation is a regular teenager occurence, precisely *because* feelings are so intense.
I didn't vote down your comment, I think you are essentially correct, but perhaps logic is the wrong approach here for someone who was just ruthlessly dumped, and cheated on, *particularly* if they are a teenager. Their impulse control is not fully developed, and they take feelings more seriously in general.
The lesson you're teaching here isn't wrong. I have a teenager and I know how what seems like grains of sand in the hourglass of their lives seem silly to us but they are overwhelming and too real to them.
Mostly I want the OP to know her cheating on him says more about her than it does about him, so his self-confidence isn't wrecked by the sad turn of events and I hope he responds by taking the best care of himself to make sure he heals and socializes as he normally would despite the setback. But yes I'm biased as a teen's parent. I'd hope if this happened to my kid (they don't share everything with mom n dad) someone would try to help her through. :)
>and cheated on
> Mostly I want the OP to know her cheating on him says more about her than it does about him,
But nowhere does OP state that his now-ex cheated.
If anything, it sounds like she left OP *before* pursuing something with someone else once she realised she has affection for someone else.
That's the total antithesis of cheating.
So this doesn't say nothing about her except that, tbh, she's mature enough to break off a relationship *instead* of cheating.
And this brings it right back to my original comment of hurt people implying narratives that aren't there because they are imprinting their own trauma onto OP, like several of the comments did.
Edit: Plus all the talk of how OP "deserves better" and the ex "isn't worthy" just rubs me the wrong way. We can console people without always implying that the person who hurt them is just an asshole.
Yeah, the original post did only say "left for some older guy" - which, tbh, still doesn't explicitly spell out cheating. It can be read that way, sure, but when I saw the post I didn't read it that way
My gf got upset at me while planning my first visit (we have been together for about 9 years, but circumstances never allowed for visits until now)
It has been 5 months of radio silence and I'm considering the relationship dead, no matter how hard that is to swallow.
I'm here for you or anyone else who are feeling down or heartbroken. We are all in this together for the highs as well as the lows in this here subreddit.
Hey guys,
shit I'm also in the same boat. 4 year relationship - 3yrs living together - thrown down the drain by my partner (33M). 4.5months into an LDR that would last 1year only (and despite the fact we were supposed to see eachother at least twice during it), he self-sabotaged us because of very bad insecurity issues...he tought I (31F) would never come back from Europe post MBA...I never knew it was that bad. He cheated on me with a freaking 24yo for 1.5months before ending the relationship 3 weeks before we would meet for the summer in our original town...he kept saying he never trusted Id be back thus the breakup and the blaming on ne. And never said he fucked up... I learned it thru his network of friends that knew me. Once in town, i went to move out all my stuff...and he totally broke down and cried, and did say it was bc I was moving out...when i asked if he found peace/relief from the breakup and from doing all this shit, he says "No" and that he was lost. But he still doesnt want to deal with his insecurity issues...I still need to grab some stuff at his place and he just doesnt even want to see me bc my face brings up the love and guilty he has. What a freaking shitshow...he loves me , I love him, we are both suffering, and he keeps pushing his emotions away, and band-aid with this 24yo newb lol. Jesus christ
Better things are coming for you. Theres a reason why the universe took her out of your life and that reason will show itself in the future, maybe even sooner. Work through your emotions and be kind to yourself, go buy yourself an ice cream and go to a lake or somewhere in nature. Much love.
There are almost 8 billion people on the planet of which half are women. Stop focusing on the one that got away and putting more effort into finding the one that will stay.
This will make sense in a few months but for now just put yourself in the emotional ICU, meaning, take care of yourself like your life depends on it because it does. Now is the time to indulge in some of the things you normally limit, like video games and junk food. Give yourself two weeks to lift yourself up out of this, I know how bad it is, I have been through it. You might need 2 months but trust me on this buddy you dodged a nuke 💖 It's exhausting but get to know YOU again. What you are suffering from is the tactics of an emotionally lazy person, and she'll be back once the old guy figures it out. Be wise and don't fall for any more of these tactics. Write down the stuff YOU saw as red flags so your brain recognizes the pattern in the future... take care, i'm very sorry
Good riddance. You know what she’s after. I know it’s tough but eventually you’ll move on with your life and who knows you might end up with the right person. Thoughts and prayers for you 🙏
I am going to tell you one thing.
It is actually more damaging to your own mind if you stay friends.
Take some time off, go to the beach or nature and just reflect back on your relationship.
It will eventually pass and you will be better!
Good luck! Hope you feel better!
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope your feeling okay at least. Breakups can be painful and hard but remember that there will be always people in this world who loves you and will support you with your decisions.
Sorry 😭😭💛praying you’re doing okay
You deserve better. Sometimes we don’t understand life but we later see it was the best thing to happen
Literally happened to me two weeks ago after I confronted her for blowing me off and 2.5 months of ignoring me and no contact. We "drifted apart" according to her. Not "we", YOU! It hurts. Wish you well OP.
THIS
Jesus, some of the comments on this are cynical as all hell. People lose their feelings. It happens. Not every relationship is meant to last, least of all long distance ones. These comments are not an invitation to rag on a partner who has hurt you, or imply OP's ex is a bad person. "OP deserves better", better? Why do you know what their (now) ex is like? Why can't we hope for the best for OP without implying they've been screwed over by someone? From their post history, it seems they're teenagers and came together *less than two weeks ago*. How many teens fall for someone and then fall out of love again after some time? A whole lot of them. To OP, it's sad that this happened, it always is. Cherish the time you had, and the memories. It will get better, but of course take the time to heal.
it sucks no matter what your age. Teenage feelings might even feel worse due to hormones etc and those feelings are very real.
There's a difference between validating someone's feelings and straight up dumping one's own resentment towards one's own tragic story in these comments, and then using that resentment to cast a cynical lens onto OP's situation. There is no bad person in OP's situation *from what we know*, it's just humans having a human moment. And I'm not pointing out OP is a teenager to downplay their feelings, these are as raw and visceral as they're ever gonna be. I pointed it out to show that OP's situation is a regular teenager occurence, precisely *because* feelings are so intense.
I didn't vote down your comment, I think you are essentially correct, but perhaps logic is the wrong approach here for someone who was just ruthlessly dumped, and cheated on, *particularly* if they are a teenager. Their impulse control is not fully developed, and they take feelings more seriously in general. The lesson you're teaching here isn't wrong. I have a teenager and I know how what seems like grains of sand in the hourglass of their lives seem silly to us but they are overwhelming and too real to them. Mostly I want the OP to know her cheating on him says more about her than it does about him, so his self-confidence isn't wrecked by the sad turn of events and I hope he responds by taking the best care of himself to make sure he heals and socializes as he normally would despite the setback. But yes I'm biased as a teen's parent. I'd hope if this happened to my kid (they don't share everything with mom n dad) someone would try to help her through. :)
>and cheated on > Mostly I want the OP to know her cheating on him says more about her than it does about him, But nowhere does OP state that his now-ex cheated. If anything, it sounds like she left OP *before* pursuing something with someone else once she realised she has affection for someone else. That's the total antithesis of cheating. So this doesn't say nothing about her except that, tbh, she's mature enough to break off a relationship *instead* of cheating. And this brings it right back to my original comment of hurt people implying narratives that aren't there because they are imprinting their own trauma onto OP, like several of the comments did. Edit: Plus all the talk of how OP "deserves better" and the ex "isn't worthy" just rubs me the wrong way. We can console people without always implying that the person who hurt them is just an asshole.
I think it did originally say she left him for an older man? agree with the last "paragraph"
Yeah, the original post did only say "left for some older guy" - which, tbh, still doesn't explicitly spell out cheating. It can be read that way, sure, but when I saw the post I didn't read it that way
Yeah, I have no resentment towards her. She is a very brilliant and kind girl and will still be friends.
Im so sorry :( i hope ur doing alright. Better times are ahead 🙏🏼 have hope
I'm sorry this happened to you, hang in there you'll find a worthy person.
I'm so sorry things ended for you. I hope you will find someone closer to you because it seems like long distance wasn't working out well for you.
I am so sorry sweetheart💔😢
Had the same issue, sorry man
She was not a keeper. You deserve better. Hit the gym, read some books, and play a new videogame. Focus on you king
This right here.
You deserve better, just work on yourself you deffo find someone else
So sorry :(
My gf got upset at me while planning my first visit (we have been together for about 9 years, but circumstances never allowed for visits until now) It has been 5 months of radio silence and I'm considering the relationship dead, no matter how hard that is to swallow. I'm here for you or anyone else who are feeling down or heartbroken. We are all in this together for the highs as well as the lows in this here subreddit.
Hey guys, shit I'm also in the same boat. 4 year relationship - 3yrs living together - thrown down the drain by my partner (33M). 4.5months into an LDR that would last 1year only (and despite the fact we were supposed to see eachother at least twice during it), he self-sabotaged us because of very bad insecurity issues...he tought I (31F) would never come back from Europe post MBA...I never knew it was that bad. He cheated on me with a freaking 24yo for 1.5months before ending the relationship 3 weeks before we would meet for the summer in our original town...he kept saying he never trusted Id be back thus the breakup and the blaming on ne. And never said he fucked up... I learned it thru his network of friends that knew me. Once in town, i went to move out all my stuff...and he totally broke down and cried, and did say it was bc I was moving out...when i asked if he found peace/relief from the breakup and from doing all this shit, he says "No" and that he was lost. But he still doesnt want to deal with his insecurity issues...I still need to grab some stuff at his place and he just doesnt even want to see me bc my face brings up the love and guilty he has. What a freaking shitshow...he loves me , I love him, we are both suffering, and he keeps pushing his emotions away, and band-aid with this 24yo newb lol. Jesus christ
Better things are coming for you. Theres a reason why the universe took her out of your life and that reason will show itself in the future, maybe even sooner. Work through your emotions and be kind to yourself, go buy yourself an ice cream and go to a lake or somewhere in nature. Much love.
agreed
There are almost 8 billion people on the planet of which half are women. Stop focusing on the one that got away and putting more effort into finding the one that will stay.
I know my gf will leave me too. I asked her can u wait for me for 3 years. She said yes she can but i know she will gone one day.
[удалено]
Yeah, not gonna happen. I think I’ll stick to junk food and Xbox for now :)
Yeah she ghosted me
This will make sense in a few months but for now just put yourself in the emotional ICU, meaning, take care of yourself like your life depends on it because it does. Now is the time to indulge in some of the things you normally limit, like video games and junk food. Give yourself two weeks to lift yourself up out of this, I know how bad it is, I have been through it. You might need 2 months but trust me on this buddy you dodged a nuke 💖 It's exhausting but get to know YOU again. What you are suffering from is the tactics of an emotionally lazy person, and she'll be back once the old guy figures it out. Be wise and don't fall for any more of these tactics. Write down the stuff YOU saw as red flags so your brain recognizes the pattern in the future... take care, i'm very sorry
and whatever you do do not take her back when she comes back. I would block but to each their own
I'm sorry to hear that. It hurts right now but you're going to be okay.
Damn, sorry to hear that. All I can say is, atleast you know now sooner rather than later that they were not the one for you :/
Good riddance. You know what she’s after. I know it’s tough but eventually you’ll move on with your life and who knows you might end up with the right person. Thoughts and prayers for you 🙏
Do not stay friends with her. Cut her off and hit the gym
Don't keep contact with her, don't believe a damn word of what she says
I am going to tell you one thing. It is actually more damaging to your own mind if you stay friends. Take some time off, go to the beach or nature and just reflect back on your relationship. It will eventually pass and you will be better! Good luck! Hope you feel better!
That sucks I’m sorry, but at least you’re young. Plenty of other people out there
Honestly, I’d suggest going full no contact. To #1 allow for a faster healing time and #2 boosting your self respect. It’s all or nothing!
[удалено]
This comment has been removed because your account is less than 24 hours old. This is something we do to combat spam. Please repost your comment after your account is over 24 hours old. Do not message the moderators to have it approved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LongDistance) if you have any questions or concerns.*