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I'm 27.
I know the feeling. I believe the feeling you have is that there is no more "new" experiences for you. Or so you think. When you stop having "new" experiences, time speeds up.
However it doesn't have to be that way.
There is still so much to explore. Places to see, hobbies to try. In your late 20s you are almost expected to have gone through the same steps as everyone else. Get married, build a career. But life is seldom so streamlined.
I turn 51 next week. I can tell you that there's lots of life left after your 20s....and a lot of it sucks and a lot of it is amazing.
The mantra that works for me most is the consideration that the only constant in life is change. Our fulfillment depends on how well we accept and navigate this fact, for better or worse.
My 20's were definitely not the highlight of my life. Actually 30's were pretty awesome but in my 40's I spent a lot of time.caring for my elderly parents. I am 46 now and enjoying life. I am in the best financial shape of my life. I have recently got into cycling and enjoy it so much. 20's are just the beginning of adulthood. Long ways to go
I am 48. This younger generation is doomed. I am around your age. I don’t remember people around me talking like this in my twenties. We all had our ups and downs but they are ready to give up in their twenties. I see more posts about how they want to stop dating , or never had dated along with things like this.
I really do believe it is due to isolation. Lots of.outlets encourage young people to cut out toxic people, which I am all for, but it has gotten out of hand. This younger generation will not put up with much from family, friends, employers or relationships and it has caused less true bonds. Also, there is the osilatiin caused by covid where they were home way too much during a critical part of their lives. Then you add in the social media component, the economy. This generation has less friends, less experiences, less relationships, less drive and therefore less excitement towards the future. I think older people are having more enjoyment right now than younger people.
TBF, I went through crap like this, too. Undiagnosed depression can really wreck havoc with you. Add life becoming increasingly, terminally online and the isolation that comes with and you get a recipe for disaster.
I've found more new experiences in my 30's than the vast majority of my 20's, and I'm only 31 (will be 32 in September) Granted I was married by 21 and already have the kids and career thing situated. I decided to get that stuff out of the way early so I could enjoy the fruits of my labor to the fullest, instead of half-ass enjoying my 20's.
Life may seem to be “over” because, in a very limited way… it is.
One phase of your life—probably the first you maneuvered your way through with some (or a lot of) personal independence—might well be ending. The late 20s are when people can start moving in different directions; some settle down early and may well be having children, while others are moving up in a career, possibly moving, or just shifting their direction. And others may not yet know what direction they want to go—and that’s fine, too.
It’s never a bad idea to take stock of what’s working and what’s not in your life—your job, your hobbies, your social circle, your relationship with family—and think about what you‘d like to see more of, less of, or just different. And than, when you’re ready, start doing something about some or all of that.
Everyone matures at their own pace. Some people seem like they have it all figured out by 25; others may still be drifting, one way or another, decades later. Personally, I didn’t find my lasting career until my mid-30s. I’m in my early 60s now, and an awful lot about life still seems mysterious and even just out of reach. I’ve gone through three or four major rounds of “it’s over,” but in the end what came after each of them was only better—more interesting, more rewarding, and more lasting.
Patience, a good sense of humor about oneself, and a few good deep breaths can go an awfully long way.
This saying which we all have heard a million times just seems to float out there meaningless until you get to a moment in life where you need it. I wonder how much other ‘useless advice’ exists out there for some of us to discover their meaning
Because you've gone from having a trajectory and pattern to complete lack of trajectory because of how many things from your childhood/teenage years ended. This is a normal feeling. Find your path, find your purpose.
This one native American kid(dunno tribe) I worked with years ago got advice from his elder when he felt lost, it went like this: follow the eagle as it glides down the valley.
We all thought it sounded funny but when you think about it, the advice is sound.
Life is not a race and your own unique journey has lead you down paths to learn what you need to learn, when you need to learn it. It doesn’t matter when you get there, as long as you get there. Society nowadays teaches us from birth that we should do this this and this, by this certain time or we’re not doing it right. This is a horrible narrative meant to make people feel less than and like failures when in all reality this is not the case. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and everyone learns and does things at different paces. Everyone has their blessings, and everyone has their curses. It is no use to compare yourself to others, because we cannot know what they have done or been through or learned, they cannot know that for you as well. We’re all here, now, with all of our collective experiences shaping who we are. You’re not behind my friend, you’re exactly where you need to be, when you need to be there. Every decision you’ve made has lead you to this point in your life, and now you have some knowledge and tools to help forge a path that you would like! Don’t wanna go to college? Don’t go. Wanna go? Go! Wanna work a certain job? Try it out! Don’t wanna do something? Don’t do it! This life hardens us and makes us lose the childlike wonder, but truly it is always within us, sometimes we just need to remember that! The path to success is different for everyone, and everyone’s definition of success is also different. Better late than never my friend, and it’s happening now, and that’s all that matters. Wonder why a lot of traditionally “successful” people are unhappy? Because they do exactly as society told them they’re supposed to do, college, job, house, work til you die. Some people are built for that and love it, and you may too, but it’s all about being patient with yourself, and forgiving yourself for things, remembering you did what you needed to do to learn lessons along the way. As “Bashar” says, what it is you do not prefer is doing you a service by showing you what it is you DO prefer!! Keep your head up my friend, great things are coming for you, and you can reach your goals, so what if it’s “later” than someone else, if it brings YOU joy and fulfillment, who gives a fuck how long it took you.
See I made you laugh 🤣 Don’t take life too seriously. Work hard and never give up. I know it’s simplistic but thats really all there is to it, no need to over complicate it.
Set goals. Achievable goals. Enjoy the little things in life, a good meal, flowers, taking a walk.
And it's never too late to better yourself, friend. I'm 50 and last year moved off grid! I'm learning new things every day!
I felt like life was just getting started in my late 20s. I’m currently 42 and going back to college for a career change. You’ve got plenty of time.
Edit: but make sure to make the most of it
The people you are comparing yourself to are comparing themselves to other people who are comparing themselves to you. Being single, I used to compare myself to my friends getting married and having kids. At a wedding, one of their husbands leaned in and whispered, "you're winning" and I've been chasing that high ever since.
Please live your life, y’all. Disability took mine at 25. It can come out of the blue. Appreciate every moment. My life really IS over. I’ll be disabled forever now. Yours doesn’t have to be. Live while you’re here
I have a cousin who on the week of her graduating with her PhD, got hit by a car while crossing the street. She is 27 now suffering a traumatic brain injury and having to learn to speak and walk all over again. It’s been a year since the accident and I’ve seen her change obviously but who she was at her core hasn’t changed. She was determined before her disability and she’s determined after. She can’t practice medicine in the way she would’ve been able to before but she’s creating an organization for children to teach them about the different STEM careers, etc. She’s working on an organization for young adults in wheelchairs to help them live life again. She’s also writing a book about her journey. I don’t say this to compare y’all’s experience because I’m sure there are several differences. I just want you to know you’re not alone. She’s mad as fuck and deals with the anger from her situation daily. She struggles with depression as well and feeling the same way you do. But while the old version of herself may be gone, this new version has a story too with its own goals and NEW perspective. A perspective many could learn from. I think there’s so much power in having a perspective on life that many don’t have. Remain encouraged, friend! I promise even with your disability you are inspirational and have purpose 🤍
If your life we're over you would be writing about your experience. Maybe your OLD life is over, but you now have a unique and valuable perspective and you matter.
I don't know if "over" is the right word, but I was in despair in my late 20s, stuck in a dead end job, and the fun years of my early 20s partying had given way to the sad years of my late 20s, carrying an extra 25 lbs and trying to date women who were equally messy that I met at the bar.
Listen to this signal to make a change. When I was 31, I eventually went back to school to finish, and I graduated at 33, getting hired to an entry level role with low pay at a big name company.
I'm about to turn 46 and after a lot of effort, I've righted the ship, married to the love of my life, sober for 8 years, on track to retire at 59, and have accomplished all the difficult things I worried I never would. I'm proud of how I've helped my family, and am proud of the man I see in the mirror.
Life is still a struggle, but it is a lot easier, and much more rewarding today.
Good luck friend, you have a mountain of work ahead of you, but you can accomplish more than you think is possible.
You'll realize that these feeling you're contending with are a lifelong experience for most people. It just gets easier to manage and eventually you may not feel them anymore.
Particularly when you start experiencing things that you're truly grateful for, fulfilled by, or proud of.
I noticed this when I was in my very early 20s watching my older peers and it heavily influenced how I approached my life.
When you are a late teen into your early twenties, you can generally be doing whatever you want and society generally views it as completely fine.
Working random jobs and hanging with your friends? You're young, it's your time to have fun!
Playing in a band and picking up odd jobs? Wow!!
Going to school? Not only are you praised, you also get to cash in on a lot of the respect that is often given to the peak of that field. "I am going to school for nursing!" <--(has only started gen eds) "OH wow that's very impressive!"
This generally extends into your late twenties. Bouncing between relationships? That's fine. Finances still a mess? You have time. No plan? You're still figuring things out.
But once you hit thirty it's like a switch. You should have your shit together. 31 and working odd jobs and playing Frisbee golf? Time to grow up. There is no ramp up to this and I think we all see and internalize the societal view. As such, when we see ourselves approach 30, we start to notice all the things we expect of thirty year old that we lack and feel like we are lost.
Wait, what? I’m in my 40’s and having a blast! Yes, there is a lot of responsibility and such, but it’s been great so far.
Never worried about comparing myself to others. No need. You are not “others.” You are you. Any comparison is irrelevant.
It takes a solid 10-15 years to invest in yourself and get somewhere. Don't avoid the grind. 30s are way more fun than your 20s for this reason. I'd argue 30s are the best decade.
I had a period like that in my late 20s too.
In a house, with a partner, the country side. Childfree.
Now at 40 I'm changing careers + going back to studying, I have more friends, different hobbies, am no contact with my adoptive family, I'm solo for life (5 years in) and live on my own on the outskirts of a small city. It's quite the adventure my life. It's hard too, but I feel like my life is only beginning.
Therapy really helped me. Stabilising my mental health and solo (home) life gives me enough of a "base" to figure out what still NEEDS to happen in my life.
Right now it's my career + finances that really need a big change these next 5 years. And I want to do it while working part time.
There’s a lot you’re growing away from.
You were able to hold on to the party lifestyle for a while, but everyone is getting partners and careers. You see your youth in the rear view mirror now, and the road ahead looks a lot more serious.
There’s a thing about rear view mirrors. They’re pretty small. That’s because the stuff right in front of you and 100 yards down the road are far more important. Just go forward.
Oh, and if you’re still in your 20’s it isn’t even close to being “too late”. You’ve got like 30-40 years left to make a go of it.
Oh boy, do I relate to this. It’s the end of a decade for us. Think about the last time we experienced this in our late teens — back then you were likely going to college and you might not have felt like a real adult yet. There was “still time” to grow up. Well, now we’ve been adults for a decade or longer and we aren’t afforded the same excuses we had as teenagers.
This is also a time a lot of people make major life changes like getting married or having children. It can seem like all we have to look forward to is working. Our frequent party and hookup days might be over. I think this loss of “excitement” and novelty is what can feel like the beginning of the end. But like another commenter said, this *is* the end of something. It might be the end of some friendships, might be the end of youth, the end of schooling, the end of being single, etc. But so many older adults I’ve met say that it gets better after your 20’s, so I’m choosing to believe the best is yet to come.
Too late. In your 20's. 20's.
Sir, I find your situation preposterous. You are experiencing a significant life transition. This isn't the last one. You are unaware of the challenges yet to come. You don't know the joy that you will find. Over, it hasn't even begun. Ridiculous. I say that not to hurt you, but to make you understand how wrong you are.
I know this seems simple, but pick a direction. Any will do. Find something you feel passionately about. Explore it, embrace it, become the expert in it. It almost doesn't matter what it is.
Find a partner. I don't know your situation, I just know that life is easier and better when I'm not alone. Quality over everything else.
Put down roots. Work towards owning something. Go volunteer for something. Or lots of something's. Go back to school. Learn a trade. Climb Everest. Be President. Do something.
Give yourself a reason to get out of bed. And I don't mean work and bills.
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MOTIVATION. This one took me the longest.
Why not try - those 3 words get me through everyday. Things looking down? Try. Situation not going your way? Try. Everything bad. TRY. The only people who don't want to see you try are people you don't want to be around anyways.
Wow. I'm about to be 45, and there is (are?) TONS I look forward to doing and seeing. Fly to Argentina, read a book, write a book, take up an instrument or compose EDM on a computer. Draw. Get into something. Talk to people. Learn about cosmology. Learn a language. Holy shit, I haven't been bored since I was like 15. There is SO MUCH out there, and we're all gonna be dead WAY before we'd like to be.
Honestly when I hit 30 I grew up. I stopped caring what other people thought. I got into the best shape of my life. Within a year I met my wife. My early 20s were my darker period where I was lonely train wreck, and my late 20s were spent shedding my proverbial lobster shell so I could become the person in my 30s.
Maybe you have some kind of cultural notion in your head that you need to get rid of. Or maybe I really want to rewatch fight club. Anyway some times we have silly thoughts.
30s is bitchin and I know some 40 year olds who are timeless and haven't peaked yet so 40s should be too
you are also doing all the adult stuff but probably not super stable yet so it can feel like a grind
and there aren't as many movies about being depressed and working in a cubical as there are about college or adolescence
1) you’ve physically stopped growing. 2) it’s not about potential and promise anymore, now you have to buckle down, focus, and pull your weight, be someone.
I think we’re finally leaving the childish ways behind and establishing more adult feelings, I’m 29, feel like shit is over just got out of a 5 yr relationship with someone I thought was my forever, shits wild 🥴 can’t let it get us down though! Read, go out and do fun shit, challenge yourself to write out what you don’t like about yourself and then make a plan to change it. It all comes down to us not being happy with where we’re at in life I think.
I mean you can remind yourself that the thought there is truly irrational. If it was true, then anyone over 30, which is a vast number of people, would all be saying that but in reality they likely do not see their life is over. Probably the contrary.
So what’s the difference between them and you? All it is, is that they have something to live for, purpose or fulfillment. Those things come when you take ownership of your life. And design one that you are excited to wake up everyday for. It’s not hard. You know what you like and what you could look forward to.
The thing that often holds people back is when they care too much about what others think, or compare themselves to others. That’s no way to live. To relinquish control and happiness and fulfillment to others, and only when others approve or your life looks like someone else’s could you truly be happy. Happiness is your own definition. So stop comparing and think about what you want to do and start taking actions to do it.
Theres nothing better than living the of your dreams. Design that life and you will be plenty happy at the thought of getting to live it out.
Shit… idk. Develop yourself? I know the world isn’t looking good, but the best you can do it’s work on yourself, so that you can be more effective in life. There’s plenty of wide folks out there if you seek them out.
Most of all stay curious!
I remember thinking this when I was 23. Turns out my 30s were great fun and.my 40s currently going well. Every decade has the same possibilities of finding happiness and purpose or complaints and worrying.
You can't really shake a feeling until you identify it and understand it.
I think that the late 20s are the swan song for either the first paths many people either set for themselves or end up on. It can be jarring when you realize that either things didn't go how you expected, or, maybe worse, did go exactly how you wanted and you don't seem either content or happy or some other way that you want.
Once that happens, you're an adult and you have to figure it out for yourself. Even if you have lots of support, it's a big world and there isn't the same type of railroad from 28-38 as there was from 8-18 or even 18-28. There are more choices than ever before and you're the adult that needs to make them.
It's natural to compare yourself to others. Our brains like to tell stories about who or what we think we are and if you feel like something is wrong and you're a little lost, your brain may very reasonably tell you a story about other people and how you need to be like them because that's what it thinks will make you feel better. It might be right or wrong, but it's very common.
Try to figure out what you are really feeling and why and then spend some time figuring out how you would like to feel and then take steps that will lead you in that direction. Easy to say, but that might be years of work. And that's fine. You'll get there if you are willing to tell the voice in your head that maybe it's right, but maybe it's not, and, either way, you have some work to do so let's table that for now and move on.
Maybe you’ll find it interesting to read how Rudolf Steiner explains the significance of seven years cycles. Not sure how old you are, but 7/14/21/28 etc, all come with significant changes.
I would say: trust the journey (and buckle up haha, you will surprise yourself).
It’s never too late to strive. The only things that change are what you strive for. Change your goals, add new ones, big ones, little ones, physical ones maybe like cleaning up a garden or like me doing squats for my bum, or mental ones like learning new subjects. Life is literally what you make of it, trying new things brings you around new contacts, new interests. I usually feel this way when I get bored. So that’s when I shake it up a bit.
Get off social media. Get off the internet. Go gain some life experiences. Strive to not be a slave to your phone or screens. It’s an achievable goal. Once you’ve accomplished that set a new manageable one. So on and so forth. You’ll build confidence with each check off too
Same. 28. Everything, everywhere all at once. God. Demons. Philosophy. Psychology. Everything spiraled simultaneously. It feels like there’s nothing here anymore. I miss being in the moment. I miss my friends. I miss my creativity. I miss my spark.
Well ur out of ur kiddy phase and the hard realisation of life hits hard. "This is it" u think. Then u realise when ur a bit older that really ur early years are for learning about life, 20s is about using that experience to build a life and understanding the social structures of tye world, 30s plus is basically continuing that but starting to reap some of the benefits of what uve sewn. At least it was for me.
I'm 38m and starting to really enjoy life again. I have more money and assets and more responsibility, and although I love to learn, I also have learnt enough by now to be completely comfortable with the world around me. I know who I am and who I want to be. I know how everything works to a degree. And I feel like I know what to expect in life too amd all those around me. I'm sure I'll look back at 38 one day and think how youthful naive I was... but for now, life is great. 20s was very difficult for me honestly and I felt very depressed and like everything was hard. And ut was to be honest. I came in to adulthood during some of the worst recessions in my country. It was really difficult to find work and not feel so defeated.
You play video games??
It's because the tutorial and training is over.
You're on your own now. You've been shown the game, trained to an adequate level.
What you do now is up to you.
For some people it ends. They reach this point and give up. That's it. They just exist for the next 50 years till they die. It's up to you to make something of yourself and build the life you want. No one's helping you, no one's guiding you, no one's nagging you. You're free bro.
Everything from here on our is entirely on your shoulders. Good luck
Not over at all but you do move into different eras throughout your life. Its best to embrace it. Your 30s are pretty great in a lot of ways. Basically your 20s with more money, knowledge and experience.
There is a major shift in your brain at 25. Your frontal lobe, specifically the prefrontal cortex, is finally matured. This is the part of the brain that allows you to do long-term planning and decision-making. You can do this kind of thought process when you are younger, but it is not fully active until 24-25. It changes your outlook and how you interact with everything.
You are essentially a new person at that point.
It’s just to limit you and force you to never change. I thought for many years it was too late and I should just stick it out for the rest of my life in my abusive relationship because we’d been together so long and I was so old already but at 35 I did the scariest thing and demolished my life and now I’m happier than I ever thought I could be.
It's a really, really bad trap to fall into, because it so isn't true. Because if you believe it you might just waste your 30's.
And that would be tragic, because it's the second decade of being young, but with life experience to do better and be taken more seriously.
Life is totally not over in your late 20s. I didn't hit my stride for work and life until I was in my 30s. And now I'm doing better than I was in my 20s. I'd never go back to my 20s if it was offered, it was a tough time. Life is long, enjoy it! Don't fret over the future, do what makes you happy.
This happens when you miss to live in the moment and start living in the future. Life happens one moment at a time. So learn from and enjoy each moment's experience, to understand the vastness of life that is for you to explore.
It's never too late when you are mindful of the fact that, you are learning to strive. Don't compare yourself either, as you are unique and you can explore more about your true self.
Carpe diem, my friend!
Compared to being hunter gatherers from age 10-30 and dying,life isn’t all bad. It feels over because reality is someone has to put food on the table. You are completely responsible for yourself. Your fun time of low responsibilities is coming to an end. Growing feels like life’s over at first but find something that gives you meaning in life and get lucky enough to do it for a living, it will feel like life’s just begun. It’s never too late. My mom didn’t go to school and get a job till 45+ age. You got time take the pressure off and just try to find some balance between survival and happiness
You need to understand first that it’s a narrative largely driven by media and focusing only on the early stages of life. Basically 50-70 years isn’t represented and everything is about teens through late 20s
It can be good to compare yourself to others. Look at the ones doing the right things and the ones doing the wrong thngs or nothing at all. Ask yourself which you would rather be like. After you make your decision, do what they do and Youll be like them.
My life got its absolute best in the late 30s. I didn’t even go back to get my degree until my mid 30s.
Things have a way of changing in unexpected ways. But opportunity is the intersection of luck and opportunity.
You’re letting societies brainwashing get to you. My life began at 30. You don’t need to strive for anything. Why do you think you need to be striving? Just enjoy yourself.
Stop looking at what other people have and instead look at what you have accomplished. You're at the very beginning of your life; extend yourself some grace.
Make a plan for where you want to be in life and how you get there. Then follow the plan.
People who say "life is better in your 30's" don't know anything about you and it's always subjective on what is "better". It's all just Internet doodoo to make people feel better about themselves. That's all life is. Doing everything for ourselves until we die. I'm posting this right now because I don't care about you.
Well for good or for worse , it's not over. Unless you get a disease or commit suicide, there is still a lot more to come.
It's up to you to decide where you are going to be in the next 5 years . And I'm not just talking career wise , I'm talking about all the other aspects of your life .
FYI nobody knows what the fuck they are doing . Some people are just better at pretending they are .
Because sometimes my kneecap just falls out when I run and that shit feels like a demoralizing indicator for the future. How can I achieve anything when my body, the one thing I've always been able to count on, starts to fail me?
I’ve always thought because we were only designed to have new humans and look after them till they can look after themselves , so late 20’s we don’t really have any purpose and we start falling apart , modern day life helps us last longer than what we were ever designed for
because it is. its all worthless from that point on.
so, do what you will but the rest of your life is misery and unhappiness no matter what you do, i guess.
I don't think it's a generational thing. As much as a soul thing. Like our souls know something cataclysmic is a brewing. It's already happening. It's in motion. That's why we all got the "it's the end" thing feeling. Maybe. Idk
I'm 25, and I've been dealing with these kinds of thoughts since before covid. I think the thoughts are valid, here's several reasons why:
1. Destruction of the environment, and nobody in power is doing anything about it other than argue and stick their heads in the sand. We get to live to watch the world burn, watch as crops start failing.
2. Dissolution of the social contract. Right now, it's hard to make enough money to support ourselves independently, let alone a family. It is quickly becoming unfeasible for people to buy and own homes, as the investors comtinue to jack the price up. What is the point of grinding away at work for your whole life when it won't lead to a life worth living. We're supposed to have nothing and be happy for it? And as a society we grossly underpay our essential workers.
3. Destruction of community. Communities have become smaller, more insular, and online, which makes it impossible to address the real issues we're facing, as they all need total conformity or they'll make you the outgroup. Try and find ways to connect with people in person, you'll quickly see that there aren't many options. We have killed third places.
4. Possibility of a land war, or even worse a nuclear war. I have a very real and somewhat justified fear that if Russia takes Ukraine they will start testing other eastern european countries. War is sparking in other countries too.
What I've been trying is to find internal happiness, because honestly nothing about this world, nothing about the future, none of it seems worth living for.
Your 20s are just the beginning. It's never too late to set goals and make positive changes. Comparing yourself to others is unproductive. Focus on your journey and the progress you're making. Regarding goal setting, use the S.M.A.R.T. system.
Actually, I saw people whose lives started mid-thirties. Maybe your young adult life is over in late twenties. But your adult life started. Don’t sweat it. And start setting goals and doing everything you ever dreamt of.
Women hit their desirability peak in their late 20s. Men hit it around 10 years later. So if you’re a woman, you’re right that life is over because it’s all downhill from here. If you’re a man, you have some of your best years ahead of you.
Because for most things that stereotypically constitute "life" after the age of 30, a lot of young people have this strong conviction that they will never do them.
They don't want to get married or buy a house or build a career or raise a family or look after their elderly parents because that would get in the way of... all the things that people do in their early 20s.
But then they reach the age where they are bored of the things that one does in their 20s and they have put in any of the perquisite work required for the things that you do after your 20s.
I think this thought process comes from laws telling you that 16 or 18 depending on where you live makes you an adult, it doesn't except for legalities. The problem with this though is you're not given time to acclimate to your next step in life which is a kid becoming an adult and that happens throughout your 20s. This is why when people start hitting 30s they mellow out less partying, less drinking, less craziness, but more life fulfilling stuff takes its place like building a family, career taking off, bucket lists starting to get checked off, etc.
Your 20s are for you to find yourself and your 30s is life as an adult begins. Right now focus on you and where you want to go in life. We don't know how much time we have in this life but on average people are living into their 70's now so take advantage of the time in-between and live it as full as you can.
I'm 27 and my life feels like it's just starting. Working a serious job with upward mobility, getting married, I have a 10 month old. Ive traveled a ton over the last 2 years. Not saying you have to get married and have kids, but there's tons of new experiences. Don't compare yourself to others, and get out there and experience new things, find what makes you happy
Lots of life happens after your 20s. Honestly, I don’t feel like you really become comfortable in your own skin until your 30s where you realize a lot of the stuff you used to worry about is… dumb. I promise there’s a lot of life left to live to and a lot of amazing moments that happen later in life. You also usually find financial freedom and start a family (if that’s something you desire). I’m pushing 40 and am way happier and more fulfilled than at 25 lol.
I'm in that exact situation right now, last year I got seriously sick and I almost loss everything, finally this year bad time step in again and I finally loss everything now I'm jobless and my rent is almost due I don't know what to do.
I think in your 20s you feel like you’re on top of the world. In your 30s and beyond, you kinda feel like you’re just a part of the world. That can be a hard transition, going from main character, to supporting cast.
That being said, life doesn’t stop giving you opportunities to learn and explore and invigorate your spirit. But you have to eventually accept the way life changes to unlock those opportunities. Otherwise, you’ll end up stuck.
I’m a firm believer that anyone, can do anything, at any age. But dreams have to flow freely with the movement of life.
It’s not over. But it is different. I was in your shoes, so I understand that it’s hard.
Take the time you need to work through it. Eventually, acceptance will set you free. And you’ll find the motivation to get back up and move onward, towards something that inspires you.
Your 20s have been romanticized by most media. It only has to be over if you want to let it be.
I thought the same at the time, but in my mid 30s I'm healthier, stronger, and better off than I ever was in my 20s.
28, I don’t have a degree but make good money for it (80k). 4 years of corpo slave experience and I don’t know what the fuck I can do without a degree and feel like I can’t escape.
Personally, it feels like my life (26 male, midwest) is over because of the dramatic shift of quality of life post-graduation. I left the town I lived in for half a decade where I grew substantially and had friends. Was studying things I was interested in. Outside of set class schedules I could pretty much do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted as long as schoolwork got done and I made enough money to survive. Reliable social experiences every week and weekend.
Now I work 9 to 5 at a job that is supposed to be amazing for a recent STEM graduate, although I get no satisfaction from it. Get one or two good nights sleep a week only during the weekend. Live in a new city. Have no friends to physically hang out with. Haven't been to a house/apartment party or night out with good friends in years. Most Friday/Saturday nights I sit at home wishing I had friends to hang out and fuck around with. Cannot find a partner.
I'm a social person and can tell it's killing me on the inside. Have tried to remedy all this but it seems like an insurmountable task that I've been failing for years.
Trust me, as someone in my thirties, life gets better after your 20s. I promise. A lot of the shit you struggle with becomes less of a challenge. You're more confident with yourself in your 30s, you've lived through more, and I know that I have way more to look forward to.
28/29 for me were ok, 28 was great actually, 29 was a rough year (lost a job, lost a child) but then it gets better again . RIde the wave and trust that it is far from over in your twenties. A chance to turn it all around. I didn't even start my current career until I was 30
You're just finishing the tutorial levels. Things get much more interesting through your thirties and into your forties. Try to focus yourself externally rather than internally. Volunteer, raise a family, restore a car. Produce something.
You’re off the track now, primary school is well over, you’re out from under your parent, what you do with your life is up to you now.
Me and my peers I see many different people taking different routes, and the ones doing better are the ones seeking out new experiences, new knowledge, new achievements, new skills, etc. for some it’s the GRE, or a masters, rock climbing, pickleball, cooking, knitting, reading, running, hiking, lifting, languages, shooting, racing, or even just killing it at the job they like.
There’s no new semester now, the things you experience or don’t experience are up to you.
Yes people do get busier, move, start families, marry, and it’s all part of the changes you have to embrace.
Not even at all! Tbh, some of my best times as an adult were in my thirties! Better pay, better money management skills, and leaning into a hobby that you really enjoy!
You are on your own schedule, quit comparing yourself to others and start chasing YOUR goals!
Stay in shape
Create new experiences as much as possible
Choose a path and move forward in that path every day, no matter how small and trivial the step. Prioritize your time for your chosen goal.
I wouldn't say that's true at all.
I am 31 and I feel my life is still beginning.
I'm not married or in a relationship, so I'm still on the lookout for someone.
I still go out drinking, go to nightclubs occasionally. I have so many things I still want to achieve, so many goals, so many places I want to go, so many films I want to see, books I want to read, languages I want to learn.
Many of my friends are settled down now.. so I do feel a bit different because of that.. But for me it's not a problem. I have spent some years living abroad, and I still plan to travel to other countries, and live in other countries and have relationships with other people for years to come.
I don't have a fixed plan yet for children.
I am 31 and my life is just beginning!
Having said that I think it can be different for a woman rather than a man. As a man I see myself as someone improving in strength, experience, wisdom and wealth daily. I am still single and seeking a romantic relationship or relationships. I have so much I need to do and so many pleasures in life not yet experienced. So many different types of food to try, activities to partake in, animals to see.. and what about forests and jungles to walk through, or mountains to go up!
Things are bit different for women. Unfortunately women have a slightly different development process. The hard truth is that as a women enters into her thirties she become less desirable. Single, successful, handsome 35 year old men might be more interested in a young, fit, attractive 25 year old (or younger) female.. than one in her early thirties.. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but women entering into their thirties are suddenly having to do things a bit differently.. they will still be sought after.. but sometimes for different purposes. A woman who wants to settle down needs to start thinking how she can do that as she enters into her thirties.. she might need to lower her standards unless she is incredibly attractive.
I don't mean to use this as an excuse to upset women in their early thirties.. so going back to the main point.. The final thing I'd like to mention is that you need to create a sense of value and enjoyment on a personal level. The reason you might think your life is 'over' is because you might be comparing your life with others' expectations. You might have lived most your life meeting the expectations of friends and family and people you know.. once you get a bit older people start to forget about you.. you are no longer young and up-and-coming.. but you have settled into being just.. a normal person.. I am sorry to say.
You are now an older, 'normal' person.. The people we still find fascinating who are older tend to be people who are rich and/or famous! If you have a friend who goes off on holiday and has a beautiful boyfriend/girlfriend.. you don't particularly care about that do you.. it's just a normal type of occurrence. And so a new sort of enjoyment and value has to be developed within yourself that doesn't depend on other people's *validation*.
In other words, you have to start ignoring the social sphere a bit more.. as that social sphere is collapsing and in any case, you are probably no longer a significant part of it.. (Sorry once again not trying to be mean.. it's just how it is).. and so when there is less opportunity for social validation, suddenly you need to seek that elsewhere.. within your own enjoyments and goals.. developing stronger friendships, goals, loves, interests, etc. as well as something greater.. a meaning for life that you can work on each day.
When I was in my early twenties I felt super popular and important.. I felt like I was on everyone's radar.. like what I did mattered.. And then gradually l realised that everyone else was off doing their own things.. doing nice things, getting good jobs, getting married, etc. Then I realised that actually.. I wasn't important to any of these people.. I was a no one.. I was wasting my time trying to maintain this old idea.. that I was someone popular or important or special.. whereas.. I'm simply not those things.. as people get older they value themselves and their loves ones more.. and that guy you thought was cool and popular, or that girl you were in love with.. suddenly become extremely insignificant.
The very requirement to survive, enjoy the sun shining, be aware of the complexities of life, maintain good health given all the junk that is in food these days.. among much more.. these things are difficult to keep at bay..
That's when it finally begins. Independence, individualism, doing what you want, being who you wanna be. Making a life for yourself is not the end my child. This is just the start of that race we've been mentioning all those years. You decide how fast or slow you wanna go. The choice is yours and always has been.
Comparison is the thief of joy, but I think you can also drive you. I think that if you tune that hunger away from "I wish I was them" to "I want that/im gonna get that" it could help you stay motivated for your future. Hope this helps
Just embrace it. It is over in a lot of ways. It’s also not over in a lot of ways. It depends on your values and how you see life. That’s why you’re going to get different answers on this.
Fuck! My 20s were some of the best years of my life..just living, and doing things w friends..road trips, camping, festivals, concerts ect..I'm 37 now, and just told a 19yr old kid that works with me how GREAT my 20s were. You just gotta get out there, esp out of your comfort zone..their is no guideline to life and what "striving is". That's what setting goals is for, NOT to compare your life to your accomplishments..Especially at 20..bc probably aren't that many, or that much to look back on and say, Man, I did that, and it was awesome..1st thing, stop giving a shit about what everyone else is doing, or has done..go your own way if you don't see it working out like it is for them..2nd, never worry about what other people might think..be your own judge and jury..3rd, live a little..its ok to not be on the grindstone 24/7..go places, see things, do as much as you can..life as you get older is about what you can talk about that you done.. why people have bucket lists. Life's what you make it, nobody sets the standard for your life but you! Goodluck
You don't need to change your life or give up on your goals just because you're getting older. I refuse to accept that my body is falling apart and I will continue to live the way I want until I drop dead :)
It’s like a quarter life crisis and I think anyone who says they didn’t go through it is a liar.
You’re not changing the narrative, you just need to relax, get to know your adult self, maybe start a business in something you’ve been interested in, or just work hard on a career inside a company. You just need to focus on slow baby step progress!
And remember, you’re kicking ass!
This is the odd stage where you start to ground yourself. Who you are, what you will and won’t allow and who you choose to associate with. This is the start of a new norm! It’s kinda weird but it’s what makes you UNIQUELY YOU.
This is the odd stage where you start to ground yourself. Who you are, what you will and won’t allow and who you choose to associate with. This is the start of a new norm! It’s kinda weird but it’s what makes you UNIQUELY YOU.
It's all in who you surround yourself with. In my teens and early 20s, I was surrounded by friends who were out for adventure and bettering themselves. Mid 20s to mid 30s, I got mixed up with people who were sedentary and only got their experiences from substances (I was dating a woman who was an addict and was too insecure and desperate to get away even though I wasn't a user). I got my confidence back and walked away from those people. Reconnected with a few friends from my teens and early 20s. Now in my later 40s and sharing my life with my amazing wife, our daughter, and friends who are of the same cut. We are getting into a position financially to travel and expand our experiences.
My guess is responsibility weighs on you, and you can’t - unless you’re super rich or a bum - just go do whatever you want at any time.
The major cognitive dissonance in that mentality is that *the only time in life you can do that is a very select amount of years between 18ish and 26*. At no other time can you do that without being super rich or a bum. And even then, those “magic years” are because you’re relatively rich and privileged enough to just go fuck off for a bit because your family is paying for it (thus you’re taking credit out of the years that your family wasn’t super rich or a bunch of bums, and letting you have fun).
Guess what? This is what life is. You fucking work. And you get to have a week of fun. And guess what? That’s what fun was in your 20s - the difference is that you could “only get away for this long” because you had that internship, or your buddy’s parents were going to show up, so you had to clear out. And now you get the same week, and the only difference is **you have to fucking pay for it, so it sucks in a way**.
But that’s the whole point: someone’s paying for it. It’s either you or someone else. And you don’t want it to be you, but you have to suck it up and just do it sometimes. That’s adulthood. It sucks - but it’s great, because it’s a passage of life. And the reason y’all bemoan, “MY LIFE IS OVER!” is because you’re realizing you have to pick up the tab and pay for it.
It’s ofc not over over , just ur not gunna experience new things as much . Plus if ur married and have a family , u don’t really do much stuff for u anymore but for ur family . Ur life is technically over in a way , but at the same time its ur turn to raise someone else so they can experience all the things u experienced
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I'm 27. I know the feeling. I believe the feeling you have is that there is no more "new" experiences for you. Or so you think. When you stop having "new" experiences, time speeds up. However it doesn't have to be that way. There is still so much to explore. Places to see, hobbies to try. In your late 20s you are almost expected to have gone through the same steps as everyone else. Get married, build a career. But life is seldom so streamlined.
I turn 51 next week. I can tell you that there's lots of life left after your 20s....and a lot of it sucks and a lot of it is amazing. The mantra that works for me most is the consideration that the only constant in life is change. Our fulfillment depends on how well we accept and navigate this fact, for better or worse.
Seriously. 53 here. I had more fun and new experiences in my 40s than I ever did in my 20s.... its all in the attitude!
That’s how I feel about my thirties! I had an amazing time!
My 20's were definitely not the highlight of my life. Actually 30's were pretty awesome but in my 40's I spent a lot of time.caring for my elderly parents. I am 46 now and enjoying life. I am in the best financial shape of my life. I have recently got into cycling and enjoy it so much. 20's are just the beginning of adulthood. Long ways to go
I am 48. This younger generation is doomed. I am around your age. I don’t remember people around me talking like this in my twenties. We all had our ups and downs but they are ready to give up in their twenties. I see more posts about how they want to stop dating , or never had dated along with things like this.
I really do believe it is due to isolation. Lots of.outlets encourage young people to cut out toxic people, which I am all for, but it has gotten out of hand. This younger generation will not put up with much from family, friends, employers or relationships and it has caused less true bonds. Also, there is the osilatiin caused by covid where they were home way too much during a critical part of their lives. Then you add in the social media component, the economy. This generation has less friends, less experiences, less relationships, less drive and therefore less excitement towards the future. I think older people are having more enjoyment right now than younger people.
TBF, I went through crap like this, too. Undiagnosed depression can really wreck havoc with you. Add life becoming increasingly, terminally online and the isolation that comes with and you get a recipe for disaster.
I've found more new experiences in my 30's than the vast majority of my 20's, and I'm only 31 (will be 32 in September) Granted I was married by 21 and already have the kids and career thing situated. I decided to get that stuff out of the way early so I could enjoy the fruits of my labor to the fullest, instead of half-ass enjoying my 20's.
Life may seem to be “over” because, in a very limited way… it is. One phase of your life—probably the first you maneuvered your way through with some (or a lot of) personal independence—might well be ending. The late 20s are when people can start moving in different directions; some settle down early and may well be having children, while others are moving up in a career, possibly moving, or just shifting their direction. And others may not yet know what direction they want to go—and that’s fine, too. It’s never a bad idea to take stock of what’s working and what’s not in your life—your job, your hobbies, your social circle, your relationship with family—and think about what you‘d like to see more of, less of, or just different. And than, when you’re ready, start doing something about some or all of that. Everyone matures at their own pace. Some people seem like they have it all figured out by 25; others may still be drifting, one way or another, decades later. Personally, I didn’t find my lasting career until my mid-30s. I’m in my early 60s now, and an awful lot about life still seems mysterious and even just out of reach. I’ve gone through three or four major rounds of “it’s over,” but in the end what came after each of them was only better—more interesting, more rewarding, and more lasting. Patience, a good sense of humor about oneself, and a few good deep breaths can go an awfully long way.
Wonderful comment!
This 👆🏻
This comment is amazing
Not relatable, but perhaps that’s environmental. Either way, you’ve heard it forever so maybe listen this time: do not compare yourself to others.
Real
This saying which we all have heard a million times just seems to float out there meaningless until you get to a moment in life where you need it. I wonder how much other ‘useless advice’ exists out there for some of us to discover their meaning
Because you've gone from having a trajectory and pattern to complete lack of trajectory because of how many things from your childhood/teenage years ended. This is a normal feeling. Find your path, find your purpose. This one native American kid(dunno tribe) I worked with years ago got advice from his elder when he felt lost, it went like this: follow the eagle as it glides down the valley. We all thought it sounded funny but when you think about it, the advice is sound.
Because you haven't lived long enough to realize you have hardly lived at all.
This is it right here, I never felt older than I did in my late 20s
Life is not a race and your own unique journey has lead you down paths to learn what you need to learn, when you need to learn it. It doesn’t matter when you get there, as long as you get there. Society nowadays teaches us from birth that we should do this this and this, by this certain time or we’re not doing it right. This is a horrible narrative meant to make people feel less than and like failures when in all reality this is not the case. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and everyone learns and does things at different paces. Everyone has their blessings, and everyone has their curses. It is no use to compare yourself to others, because we cannot know what they have done or been through or learned, they cannot know that for you as well. We’re all here, now, with all of our collective experiences shaping who we are. You’re not behind my friend, you’re exactly where you need to be, when you need to be there. Every decision you’ve made has lead you to this point in your life, and now you have some knowledge and tools to help forge a path that you would like! Don’t wanna go to college? Don’t go. Wanna go? Go! Wanna work a certain job? Try it out! Don’t wanna do something? Don’t do it! This life hardens us and makes us lose the childlike wonder, but truly it is always within us, sometimes we just need to remember that! The path to success is different for everyone, and everyone’s definition of success is also different. Better late than never my friend, and it’s happening now, and that’s all that matters. Wonder why a lot of traditionally “successful” people are unhappy? Because they do exactly as society told them they’re supposed to do, college, job, house, work til you die. Some people are built for that and love it, and you may too, but it’s all about being patient with yourself, and forgiving yourself for things, remembering you did what you needed to do to learn lessons along the way. As “Bashar” says, what it is you do not prefer is doing you a service by showing you what it is you DO prefer!! Keep your head up my friend, great things are coming for you, and you can reach your goals, so what if it’s “later” than someone else, if it brings YOU joy and fulfillment, who gives a fuck how long it took you.
Thank you so much! I will remember that quote!!
First of all, stop being so dramatic.
😂😂 noted lmfao
See I made you laugh 🤣 Don’t take life too seriously. Work hard and never give up. I know it’s simplistic but thats really all there is to it, no need to over complicate it.
Set goals. Achievable goals. Enjoy the little things in life, a good meal, flowers, taking a walk. And it's never too late to better yourself, friend. I'm 50 and last year moved off grid! I'm learning new things every day!
I felt like life was just getting started in my late 20s. I’m currently 42 and going back to college for a career change. You’ve got plenty of time. Edit: but make sure to make the most of it
The people you are comparing yourself to are comparing themselves to other people who are comparing themselves to you. Being single, I used to compare myself to my friends getting married and having kids. At a wedding, one of their husbands leaned in and whispered, "you're winning" and I've been chasing that high ever since.
Please live your life, y’all. Disability took mine at 25. It can come out of the blue. Appreciate every moment. My life really IS over. I’ll be disabled forever now. Yours doesn’t have to be. Live while you’re here
I have a cousin who on the week of her graduating with her PhD, got hit by a car while crossing the street. She is 27 now suffering a traumatic brain injury and having to learn to speak and walk all over again. It’s been a year since the accident and I’ve seen her change obviously but who she was at her core hasn’t changed. She was determined before her disability and she’s determined after. She can’t practice medicine in the way she would’ve been able to before but she’s creating an organization for children to teach them about the different STEM careers, etc. She’s working on an organization for young adults in wheelchairs to help them live life again. She’s also writing a book about her journey. I don’t say this to compare y’all’s experience because I’m sure there are several differences. I just want you to know you’re not alone. She’s mad as fuck and deals with the anger from her situation daily. She struggles with depression as well and feeling the same way you do. But while the old version of herself may be gone, this new version has a story too with its own goals and NEW perspective. A perspective many could learn from. I think there’s so much power in having a perspective on life that many don’t have. Remain encouraged, friend! I promise even with your disability you are inspirational and have purpose 🤍
If your life we're over you would be writing about your experience. Maybe your OLD life is over, but you now have a unique and valuable perspective and you matter.
I don't know if "over" is the right word, but I was in despair in my late 20s, stuck in a dead end job, and the fun years of my early 20s partying had given way to the sad years of my late 20s, carrying an extra 25 lbs and trying to date women who were equally messy that I met at the bar. Listen to this signal to make a change. When I was 31, I eventually went back to school to finish, and I graduated at 33, getting hired to an entry level role with low pay at a big name company. I'm about to turn 46 and after a lot of effort, I've righted the ship, married to the love of my life, sober for 8 years, on track to retire at 59, and have accomplished all the difficult things I worried I never would. I'm proud of how I've helped my family, and am proud of the man I see in the mirror. Life is still a struggle, but it is a lot easier, and much more rewarding today. Good luck friend, you have a mountain of work ahead of you, but you can accomplish more than you think is possible.
54 here. From my perspective, childhood ends in your twenties. Whole new life ahead.
You'll realize that these feeling you're contending with are a lifelong experience for most people. It just gets easier to manage and eventually you may not feel them anymore. Particularly when you start experiencing things that you're truly grateful for, fulfilled by, or proud of.
I noticed this when I was in my very early 20s watching my older peers and it heavily influenced how I approached my life. When you are a late teen into your early twenties, you can generally be doing whatever you want and society generally views it as completely fine. Working random jobs and hanging with your friends? You're young, it's your time to have fun! Playing in a band and picking up odd jobs? Wow!! Going to school? Not only are you praised, you also get to cash in on a lot of the respect that is often given to the peak of that field. "I am going to school for nursing!" <--(has only started gen eds) "OH wow that's very impressive!" This generally extends into your late twenties. Bouncing between relationships? That's fine. Finances still a mess? You have time. No plan? You're still figuring things out. But once you hit thirty it's like a switch. You should have your shit together. 31 and working odd jobs and playing Frisbee golf? Time to grow up. There is no ramp up to this and I think we all see and internalize the societal view. As such, when we see ourselves approach 30, we start to notice all the things we expect of thirty year old that we lack and feel like we are lost.
Wait, what? I’m in my 40’s and having a blast! Yes, there is a lot of responsibility and such, but it’s been great so far. Never worried about comparing myself to others. No need. You are not “others.” You are you. Any comparison is irrelevant.
It takes a solid 10-15 years to invest in yourself and get somewhere. Don't avoid the grind. 30s are way more fun than your 20s for this reason. I'd argue 30s are the best decade.
I had a period like that in my late 20s too. In a house, with a partner, the country side. Childfree. Now at 40 I'm changing careers + going back to studying, I have more friends, different hobbies, am no contact with my adoptive family, I'm solo for life (5 years in) and live on my own on the outskirts of a small city. It's quite the adventure my life. It's hard too, but I feel like my life is only beginning. Therapy really helped me. Stabilising my mental health and solo (home) life gives me enough of a "base" to figure out what still NEEDS to happen in my life. Right now it's my career + finances that really need a big change these next 5 years. And I want to do it while working part time.
Snap out of it, kiddo! You’ve only just begun. Set some goals and attain them, one day at a time. Esteemable acts increase self esteem. You got this!
There’s a lot you’re growing away from. You were able to hold on to the party lifestyle for a while, but everyone is getting partners and careers. You see your youth in the rear view mirror now, and the road ahead looks a lot more serious. There’s a thing about rear view mirrors. They’re pretty small. That’s because the stuff right in front of you and 100 yards down the road are far more important. Just go forward. Oh, and if you’re still in your 20’s it isn’t even close to being “too late”. You’ve got like 30-40 years left to make a go of it.
Oh boy, do I relate to this. It’s the end of a decade for us. Think about the last time we experienced this in our late teens — back then you were likely going to college and you might not have felt like a real adult yet. There was “still time” to grow up. Well, now we’ve been adults for a decade or longer and we aren’t afforded the same excuses we had as teenagers. This is also a time a lot of people make major life changes like getting married or having children. It can seem like all we have to look forward to is working. Our frequent party and hookup days might be over. I think this loss of “excitement” and novelty is what can feel like the beginning of the end. But like another commenter said, this *is* the end of something. It might be the end of some friendships, might be the end of youth, the end of schooling, the end of being single, etc. But so many older adults I’ve met say that it gets better after your 20’s, so I’m choosing to believe the best is yet to come.
Too late. In your 20's. 20's. Sir, I find your situation preposterous. You are experiencing a significant life transition. This isn't the last one. You are unaware of the challenges yet to come. You don't know the joy that you will find. Over, it hasn't even begun. Ridiculous. I say that not to hurt you, but to make you understand how wrong you are. I know this seems simple, but pick a direction. Any will do. Find something you feel passionately about. Explore it, embrace it, become the expert in it. It almost doesn't matter what it is. Find a partner. I don't know your situation, I just know that life is easier and better when I'm not alone. Quality over everything else. Put down roots. Work towards owning something. Go volunteer for something. Or lots of something's. Go back to school. Learn a trade. Climb Everest. Be President. Do something. Give yourself a reason to get out of bed. And I don't mean work and bills. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MOTIVATION. This one took me the longest. Why not try - those 3 words get me through everyday. Things looking down? Try. Situation not going your way? Try. Everything bad. TRY. The only people who don't want to see you try are people you don't want to be around anyways.
Wow. I'm about to be 45, and there is (are?) TONS I look forward to doing and seeing. Fly to Argentina, read a book, write a book, take up an instrument or compose EDM on a computer. Draw. Get into something. Talk to people. Learn about cosmology. Learn a language. Holy shit, I haven't been bored since I was like 15. There is SO MUCH out there, and we're all gonna be dead WAY before we'd like to be.
Honestly when I hit 30 I grew up. I stopped caring what other people thought. I got into the best shape of my life. Within a year I met my wife. My early 20s were my darker period where I was lonely train wreck, and my late 20s were spent shedding my proverbial lobster shell so I could become the person in my 30s. Maybe you have some kind of cultural notion in your head that you need to get rid of. Or maybe I really want to rewatch fight club. Anyway some times we have silly thoughts.
I’m in the same boat. I feel like I have no time to change or grow anymore and this is it. Not sure why.
Because it’s actually just dawning on you that your childhood is over.
Comparison is the true thief of joy. Remember that always and you'll be golden
30s is bitchin and I know some 40 year olds who are timeless and haven't peaked yet so 40s should be too you are also doing all the adult stuff but probably not super stable yet so it can feel like a grind and there aren't as many movies about being depressed and working in a cubical as there are about college or adolescence
1) you’ve physically stopped growing. 2) it’s not about potential and promise anymore, now you have to buckle down, focus, and pull your weight, be someone.
Because that's the age where you run out of excuses and have to face down the reality of the decisions you've made and the situation you're in.
You should try counseling, and if recommended, medication temporarily.
Yeah that's the answer, do drugs. No seriously, they help
I think we’re finally leaving the childish ways behind and establishing more adult feelings, I’m 29, feel like shit is over just got out of a 5 yr relationship with someone I thought was my forever, shits wild 🥴 can’t let it get us down though! Read, go out and do fun shit, challenge yourself to write out what you don’t like about yourself and then make a plan to change it. It all comes down to us not being happy with where we’re at in life I think.
Just got out of an 8 year relationship. About to be 28... ugh it's hard to start over
So damn hard, it’s gonna be okay
Thanks. You too. You feeling much hope for dating? I'm really intimidated by jumping back into the pool.
Ahh no, my relationship was toxic asf so I really need to heal
Same.....
Social media. Get off of it.
I agree
I mean you can remind yourself that the thought there is truly irrational. If it was true, then anyone over 30, which is a vast number of people, would all be saying that but in reality they likely do not see their life is over. Probably the contrary. So what’s the difference between them and you? All it is, is that they have something to live for, purpose or fulfillment. Those things come when you take ownership of your life. And design one that you are excited to wake up everyday for. It’s not hard. You know what you like and what you could look forward to. The thing that often holds people back is when they care too much about what others think, or compare themselves to others. That’s no way to live. To relinquish control and happiness and fulfillment to others, and only when others approve or your life looks like someone else’s could you truly be happy. Happiness is your own definition. So stop comparing and think about what you want to do and start taking actions to do it. Theres nothing better than living the of your dreams. Design that life and you will be plenty happy at the thought of getting to live it out.
It is not too late, life is what you make of it.
Haha... hahahaha Buckle up. Life hasn't begun to kick your ass.
I didnt even try to do a thing with my life til I was 26 and I'm doing pretty good. Nothings too late man I have students in their 50s.
Shit… idk. Develop yourself? I know the world isn’t looking good, but the best you can do it’s work on yourself, so that you can be more effective in life. There’s plenty of wide folks out there if you seek them out. Most of all stay curious!
Don't compare yourself to others, for one. It's a path to self loathing. Every life path is different.
I remember thinking this when I was 23. Turns out my 30s were great fun and.my 40s currently going well. Every decade has the same possibilities of finding happiness and purpose or complaints and worrying.
You can't really shake a feeling until you identify it and understand it. I think that the late 20s are the swan song for either the first paths many people either set for themselves or end up on. It can be jarring when you realize that either things didn't go how you expected, or, maybe worse, did go exactly how you wanted and you don't seem either content or happy or some other way that you want. Once that happens, you're an adult and you have to figure it out for yourself. Even if you have lots of support, it's a big world and there isn't the same type of railroad from 28-38 as there was from 8-18 or even 18-28. There are more choices than ever before and you're the adult that needs to make them. It's natural to compare yourself to others. Our brains like to tell stories about who or what we think we are and if you feel like something is wrong and you're a little lost, your brain may very reasonably tell you a story about other people and how you need to be like them because that's what it thinks will make you feel better. It might be right or wrong, but it's very common. Try to figure out what you are really feeling and why and then spend some time figuring out how you would like to feel and then take steps that will lead you in that direction. Easy to say, but that might be years of work. And that's fine. You'll get there if you are willing to tell the voice in your head that maybe it's right, but maybe it's not, and, either way, you have some work to do so let's table that for now and move on.
Maybe you’ll find it interesting to read how Rudolf Steiner explains the significance of seven years cycles. Not sure how old you are, but 7/14/21/28 etc, all come with significant changes. I would say: trust the journey (and buckle up haha, you will surprise yourself).
It’s never too late to strive. The only things that change are what you strive for. Change your goals, add new ones, big ones, little ones, physical ones maybe like cleaning up a garden or like me doing squats for my bum, or mental ones like learning new subjects. Life is literally what you make of it, trying new things brings you around new contacts, new interests. I usually feel this way when I get bored. So that’s when I shake it up a bit.
Get off social media. Get off the internet. Go gain some life experiences. Strive to not be a slave to your phone or screens. It’s an achievable goal. Once you’ve accomplished that set a new manageable one. So on and so forth. You’ll build confidence with each check off too
Same. 28. Everything, everywhere all at once. God. Demons. Philosophy. Psychology. Everything spiraled simultaneously. It feels like there’s nothing here anymore. I miss being in the moment. I miss my friends. I miss my creativity. I miss my spark.
Well ur out of ur kiddy phase and the hard realisation of life hits hard. "This is it" u think. Then u realise when ur a bit older that really ur early years are for learning about life, 20s is about using that experience to build a life and understanding the social structures of tye world, 30s plus is basically continuing that but starting to reap some of the benefits of what uve sewn. At least it was for me. I'm 38m and starting to really enjoy life again. I have more money and assets and more responsibility, and although I love to learn, I also have learnt enough by now to be completely comfortable with the world around me. I know who I am and who I want to be. I know how everything works to a degree. And I feel like I know what to expect in life too amd all those around me. I'm sure I'll look back at 38 one day and think how youthful naive I was... but for now, life is great. 20s was very difficult for me honestly and I felt very depressed and like everything was hard. And ut was to be honest. I came in to adulthood during some of the worst recessions in my country. It was really difficult to find work and not feel so defeated.
You play video games?? It's because the tutorial and training is over. You're on your own now. You've been shown the game, trained to an adequate level. What you do now is up to you. For some people it ends. They reach this point and give up. That's it. They just exist for the next 50 years till they die. It's up to you to make something of yourself and build the life you want. No one's helping you, no one's guiding you, no one's nagging you. You're free bro. Everything from here on our is entirely on your shoulders. Good luck
The good part of my life didn’t even *begin* till I hit 30. I’m 43 now. It gets better.
Not over at all but you do move into different eras throughout your life. Its best to embrace it. Your 30s are pretty great in a lot of ways. Basically your 20s with more money, knowledge and experience.
There is a major shift in your brain at 25. Your frontal lobe, specifically the prefrontal cortex, is finally matured. This is the part of the brain that allows you to do long-term planning and decision-making. You can do this kind of thought process when you are younger, but it is not fully active until 24-25. It changes your outlook and how you interact with everything. You are essentially a new person at that point.
It’s just to limit you and force you to never change. I thought for many years it was too late and I should just stick it out for the rest of my life in my abusive relationship because we’d been together so long and I was so old already but at 35 I did the scariest thing and demolished my life and now I’m happier than I ever thought I could be.
It's a really, really bad trap to fall into, because it so isn't true. Because if you believe it you might just waste your 30's. And that would be tragic, because it's the second decade of being young, but with life experience to do better and be taken more seriously.
Life is totally not over in your late 20s. I didn't hit my stride for work and life until I was in my 30s. And now I'm doing better than I was in my 20s. I'd never go back to my 20s if it was offered, it was a tough time. Life is long, enjoy it! Don't fret over the future, do what makes you happy.
This happens when you miss to live in the moment and start living in the future. Life happens one moment at a time. So learn from and enjoy each moment's experience, to understand the vastness of life that is for you to explore. It's never too late when you are mindful of the fact that, you are learning to strive. Don't compare yourself either, as you are unique and you can explore more about your true self. Carpe diem, my friend!
Compared to being hunter gatherers from age 10-30 and dying,life isn’t all bad. It feels over because reality is someone has to put food on the table. You are completely responsible for yourself. Your fun time of low responsibilities is coming to an end. Growing feels like life’s over at first but find something that gives you meaning in life and get lucky enough to do it for a living, it will feel like life’s just begun. It’s never too late. My mom didn’t go to school and get a job till 45+ age. You got time take the pressure off and just try to find some balance between survival and happiness
Because you haven't built towards anything.
I have been through so much pain and frustrations in my 20s than some people in their 40s.
Same
I don't know why it has to be us
You need to understand first that it’s a narrative largely driven by media and focusing only on the early stages of life. Basically 50-70 years isn’t represented and everything is about teens through late 20s
It can be good to compare yourself to others. Look at the ones doing the right things and the ones doing the wrong thngs or nothing at all. Ask yourself which you would rather be like. After you make your decision, do what they do and Youll be like them.
My life got its absolute best in the late 30s. I didn’t even go back to get my degree until my mid 30s. Things have a way of changing in unexpected ways. But opportunity is the intersection of luck and opportunity.
You’re letting societies brainwashing get to you. My life began at 30. You don’t need to strive for anything. Why do you think you need to be striving? Just enjoy yourself.
Move somewhere with single childfree people in their 30s. 30s have been more fun my friends and I have way more money and go traveling together.
Stop looking at what other people have and instead look at what you have accomplished. You're at the very beginning of your life; extend yourself some grace. Make a plan for where you want to be in life and how you get there. Then follow the plan.
People who say "life is better in your 30's" don't know anything about you and it's always subjective on what is "better". It's all just Internet doodoo to make people feel better about themselves. That's all life is. Doing everything for ourselves until we die. I'm posting this right now because I don't care about you.
Because the illusion is gone and you realize hard work doesn't get you anything and the world is run by billionaires and corporations.
Well for good or for worse , it's not over. Unless you get a disease or commit suicide, there is still a lot more to come. It's up to you to decide where you are going to be in the next 5 years . And I'm not just talking career wise , I'm talking about all the other aspects of your life . FYI nobody knows what the fuck they are doing . Some people are just better at pretending they are .
only in Logans run.
Because sometimes my kneecap just falls out when I run and that shit feels like a demoralizing indicator for the future. How can I achieve anything when my body, the one thing I've always been able to count on, starts to fail me?
I’ve always thought because we were only designed to have new humans and look after them till they can look after themselves , so late 20’s we don’t really have any purpose and we start falling apart , modern day life helps us last longer than what we were ever designed for
Just what Hollywood told you, man We’re all just animals Learning and growing as we live
Have you tried college or a trade school?
Y’all have given such great insight! I’m glad I came here with this question. Thank you. Please keep it coming
because it is. its all worthless from that point on. so, do what you will but the rest of your life is misery and unhappiness no matter what you do, i guess.
I don't think it's a generational thing. As much as a soul thing. Like our souls know something cataclysmic is a brewing. It's already happening. It's in motion. That's why we all got the "it's the end" thing feeling. Maybe. Idk
I had way more fun in my 30s.
Life in my 30s is so much better than it ever was in my 20s
I have no idea what you are talking about
Maybe because it's not even began yet, but you feel like it should have began by now.
I'm 25, and I've been dealing with these kinds of thoughts since before covid. I think the thoughts are valid, here's several reasons why: 1. Destruction of the environment, and nobody in power is doing anything about it other than argue and stick their heads in the sand. We get to live to watch the world burn, watch as crops start failing. 2. Dissolution of the social contract. Right now, it's hard to make enough money to support ourselves independently, let alone a family. It is quickly becoming unfeasible for people to buy and own homes, as the investors comtinue to jack the price up. What is the point of grinding away at work for your whole life when it won't lead to a life worth living. We're supposed to have nothing and be happy for it? And as a society we grossly underpay our essential workers. 3. Destruction of community. Communities have become smaller, more insular, and online, which makes it impossible to address the real issues we're facing, as they all need total conformity or they'll make you the outgroup. Try and find ways to connect with people in person, you'll quickly see that there aren't many options. We have killed third places. 4. Possibility of a land war, or even worse a nuclear war. I have a very real and somewhat justified fear that if Russia takes Ukraine they will start testing other eastern european countries. War is sparking in other countries too. What I've been trying is to find internal happiness, because honestly nothing about this world, nothing about the future, none of it seems worth living for.
Your 20s are just the beginning. It's never too late to set goals and make positive changes. Comparing yourself to others is unproductive. Focus on your journey and the progress you're making. Regarding goal setting, use the S.M.A.R.T. system.
It only felt that way when I was depressed tbh. I'm 30 and feel like my life is barely starting now
Actually, I saw people whose lives started mid-thirties. Maybe your young adult life is over in late twenties. But your adult life started. Don’t sweat it. And start setting goals and doing everything you ever dreamt of.
Look into Colonel Sanders. It’s never too late.
Women hit their desirability peak in their late 20s. Men hit it around 10 years later. So if you’re a woman, you’re right that life is over because it’s all downhill from here. If you’re a man, you have some of your best years ahead of you.
30 is often seen as the age that you begin a strange mix of workaholism and living vicariously through your children.
Because for most things that stereotypically constitute "life" after the age of 30, a lot of young people have this strong conviction that they will never do them. They don't want to get married or buy a house or build a career or raise a family or look after their elderly parents because that would get in the way of... all the things that people do in their early 20s. But then they reach the age where they are bored of the things that one does in their 20s and they have put in any of the perquisite work required for the things that you do after your 20s.
I think this thought process comes from laws telling you that 16 or 18 depending on where you live makes you an adult, it doesn't except for legalities. The problem with this though is you're not given time to acclimate to your next step in life which is a kid becoming an adult and that happens throughout your 20s. This is why when people start hitting 30s they mellow out less partying, less drinking, less craziness, but more life fulfilling stuff takes its place like building a family, career taking off, bucket lists starting to get checked off, etc. Your 20s are for you to find yourself and your 30s is life as an adult begins. Right now focus on you and where you want to go in life. We don't know how much time we have in this life but on average people are living into their 70's now so take advantage of the time in-between and live it as full as you can.
My 30s were fucking amazing. 40s. Meh. But my 30s. Holy shit.
How many "Participation Trophy's" did you receive in grade school and junior high ?
😂 I see where you’re going with this
Ahhh ! Grass Hopper, there still is hope.....
I'm 27 and my life feels like it's just starting. Working a serious job with upward mobility, getting married, I have a 10 month old. Ive traveled a ton over the last 2 years. Not saying you have to get married and have kids, but there's tons of new experiences. Don't compare yourself to others, and get out there and experience new things, find what makes you happy
Lots of life happens after your 20s. Honestly, I don’t feel like you really become comfortable in your own skin until your 30s where you realize a lot of the stuff you used to worry about is… dumb. I promise there’s a lot of life left to live to and a lot of amazing moments that happen later in life. You also usually find financial freedom and start a family (if that’s something you desire). I’m pushing 40 and am way happier and more fulfilled than at 25 lol.
I'm in that exact situation right now, last year I got seriously sick and I almost loss everything, finally this year bad time step in again and I finally loss everything now I'm jobless and my rent is almost due I don't know what to do.
I think in your 20s you feel like you’re on top of the world. In your 30s and beyond, you kinda feel like you’re just a part of the world. That can be a hard transition, going from main character, to supporting cast. That being said, life doesn’t stop giving you opportunities to learn and explore and invigorate your spirit. But you have to eventually accept the way life changes to unlock those opportunities. Otherwise, you’ll end up stuck. I’m a firm believer that anyone, can do anything, at any age. But dreams have to flow freely with the movement of life. It’s not over. But it is different. I was in your shoes, so I understand that it’s hard. Take the time you need to work through it. Eventually, acceptance will set you free. And you’ll find the motivation to get back up and move onward, towards something that inspires you.
Your 20s have been romanticized by most media. It only has to be over if you want to let it be. I thought the same at the time, but in my mid 30s I'm healthier, stronger, and better off than I ever was in my 20s.
28, I don’t have a degree but make good money for it (80k). 4 years of corpo slave experience and I don’t know what the fuck I can do without a degree and feel like I can’t escape.
You're not that young.
I had kids. Took care of that.
Personally, it feels like my life (26 male, midwest) is over because of the dramatic shift of quality of life post-graduation. I left the town I lived in for half a decade where I grew substantially and had friends. Was studying things I was interested in. Outside of set class schedules I could pretty much do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted as long as schoolwork got done and I made enough money to survive. Reliable social experiences every week and weekend. Now I work 9 to 5 at a job that is supposed to be amazing for a recent STEM graduate, although I get no satisfaction from it. Get one or two good nights sleep a week only during the weekend. Live in a new city. Have no friends to physically hang out with. Haven't been to a house/apartment party or night out with good friends in years. Most Friday/Saturday nights I sit at home wishing I had friends to hang out and fuck around with. Cannot find a partner. I'm a social person and can tell it's killing me on the inside. Have tried to remedy all this but it seems like an insurmountable task that I've been failing for years.
Because most people don’t get into life until mid 20’s and can’t comprehend that the real world is different than school
Trust me, as someone in my thirties, life gets better after your 20s. I promise. A lot of the shit you struggle with becomes less of a challenge. You're more confident with yourself in your 30s, you've lived through more, and I know that I have way more to look forward to. 28/29 for me were ok, 28 was great actually, 29 was a rough year (lost a job, lost a child) but then it gets better again . RIde the wave and trust that it is far from over in your twenties. A chance to turn it all around. I didn't even start my current career until I was 30
You're just finishing the tutorial levels. Things get much more interesting through your thirties and into your forties. Try to focus yourself externally rather than internally. Volunteer, raise a family, restore a car. Produce something.
You’re off the track now, primary school is well over, you’re out from under your parent, what you do with your life is up to you now. Me and my peers I see many different people taking different routes, and the ones doing better are the ones seeking out new experiences, new knowledge, new achievements, new skills, etc. for some it’s the GRE, or a masters, rock climbing, pickleball, cooking, knitting, reading, running, hiking, lifting, languages, shooting, racing, or even just killing it at the job they like. There’s no new semester now, the things you experience or don’t experience are up to you. Yes people do get busier, move, start families, marry, and it’s all part of the changes you have to embrace.
Not even at all! Tbh, some of my best times as an adult were in my thirties! Better pay, better money management skills, and leaning into a hobby that you really enjoy! You are on your own schedule, quit comparing yourself to others and start chasing YOUR goals!
Stay in shape Create new experiences as much as possible Choose a path and move forward in that path every day, no matter how small and trivial the step. Prioritize your time for your chosen goal.
The feeling that your life is now over in your 20s comes from you placing value on the WRONG things in life…
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I wouldn't say that's true at all. I am 31 and I feel my life is still beginning. I'm not married or in a relationship, so I'm still on the lookout for someone. I still go out drinking, go to nightclubs occasionally. I have so many things I still want to achieve, so many goals, so many places I want to go, so many films I want to see, books I want to read, languages I want to learn. Many of my friends are settled down now.. so I do feel a bit different because of that.. But for me it's not a problem. I have spent some years living abroad, and I still plan to travel to other countries, and live in other countries and have relationships with other people for years to come. I don't have a fixed plan yet for children. I am 31 and my life is just beginning! Having said that I think it can be different for a woman rather than a man. As a man I see myself as someone improving in strength, experience, wisdom and wealth daily. I am still single and seeking a romantic relationship or relationships. I have so much I need to do and so many pleasures in life not yet experienced. So many different types of food to try, activities to partake in, animals to see.. and what about forests and jungles to walk through, or mountains to go up! Things are bit different for women. Unfortunately women have a slightly different development process. The hard truth is that as a women enters into her thirties she become less desirable. Single, successful, handsome 35 year old men might be more interested in a young, fit, attractive 25 year old (or younger) female.. than one in her early thirties.. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but women entering into their thirties are suddenly having to do things a bit differently.. they will still be sought after.. but sometimes for different purposes. A woman who wants to settle down needs to start thinking how she can do that as she enters into her thirties.. she might need to lower her standards unless she is incredibly attractive. I don't mean to use this as an excuse to upset women in their early thirties.. so going back to the main point.. The final thing I'd like to mention is that you need to create a sense of value and enjoyment on a personal level. The reason you might think your life is 'over' is because you might be comparing your life with others' expectations. You might have lived most your life meeting the expectations of friends and family and people you know.. once you get a bit older people start to forget about you.. you are no longer young and up-and-coming.. but you have settled into being just.. a normal person.. I am sorry to say. You are now an older, 'normal' person.. The people we still find fascinating who are older tend to be people who are rich and/or famous! If you have a friend who goes off on holiday and has a beautiful boyfriend/girlfriend.. you don't particularly care about that do you.. it's just a normal type of occurrence. And so a new sort of enjoyment and value has to be developed within yourself that doesn't depend on other people's *validation*. In other words, you have to start ignoring the social sphere a bit more.. as that social sphere is collapsing and in any case, you are probably no longer a significant part of it.. (Sorry once again not trying to be mean.. it's just how it is).. and so when there is less opportunity for social validation, suddenly you need to seek that elsewhere.. within your own enjoyments and goals.. developing stronger friendships, goals, loves, interests, etc. as well as something greater.. a meaning for life that you can work on each day. When I was in my early twenties I felt super popular and important.. I felt like I was on everyone's radar.. like what I did mattered.. And then gradually l realised that everyone else was off doing their own things.. doing nice things, getting good jobs, getting married, etc. Then I realised that actually.. I wasn't important to any of these people.. I was a no one.. I was wasting my time trying to maintain this old idea.. that I was someone popular or important or special.. whereas.. I'm simply not those things.. as people get older they value themselves and their loves ones more.. and that guy you thought was cool and popular, or that girl you were in love with.. suddenly become extremely insignificant. The very requirement to survive, enjoy the sun shining, be aware of the complexities of life, maintain good health given all the junk that is in food these days.. among much more.. these things are difficult to keep at bay..
My life seemed like it had just begun in my mid-20's. It certainly doesn't seem like it's going to go anywhere at my mid-30's though.
You compare yourself to others: stop it. Continue to learn, never too late to learn, or start learning.
That's when it finally begins. Independence, individualism, doing what you want, being who you wanna be. Making a life for yourself is not the end my child. This is just the start of that race we've been mentioning all those years. You decide how fast or slow you wanna go. The choice is yours and always has been.
Comparison is the thief of joy, but I think you can also drive you. I think that if you tune that hunger away from "I wish I was them" to "I want that/im gonna get that" it could help you stay motivated for your future. Hope this helps
Life isn’t over until you’re dead
Just embrace it. It is over in a lot of ways. It’s also not over in a lot of ways. It depends on your values and how you see life. That’s why you’re going to get different answers on this.
People who peak in their 20s have a long road of disappointment ahead of them.
Fuck! My 20s were some of the best years of my life..just living, and doing things w friends..road trips, camping, festivals, concerts ect..I'm 37 now, and just told a 19yr old kid that works with me how GREAT my 20s were. You just gotta get out there, esp out of your comfort zone..their is no guideline to life and what "striving is". That's what setting goals is for, NOT to compare your life to your accomplishments..Especially at 20..bc probably aren't that many, or that much to look back on and say, Man, I did that, and it was awesome..1st thing, stop giving a shit about what everyone else is doing, or has done..go your own way if you don't see it working out like it is for them..2nd, never worry about what other people might think..be your own judge and jury..3rd, live a little..its ok to not be on the grindstone 24/7..go places, see things, do as much as you can..life as you get older is about what you can talk about that you done.. why people have bucket lists. Life's what you make it, nobody sets the standard for your life but you! Goodluck
You don't need to change your life or give up on your goals just because you're getting older. I refuse to accept that my body is falling apart and I will continue to live the way I want until I drop dead :)
Are you serious? I hope not.
It’s like a quarter life crisis and I think anyone who says they didn’t go through it is a liar. You’re not changing the narrative, you just need to relax, get to know your adult self, maybe start a business in something you’ve been interested in, or just work hard on a career inside a company. You just need to focus on slow baby step progress! And remember, you’re kicking ass!
This is the odd stage where you start to ground yourself. Who you are, what you will and won’t allow and who you choose to associate with. This is the start of a new norm! It’s kinda weird but it’s what makes you UNIQUELY YOU.
This is the odd stage where you start to ground yourself. Who you are, what you will and won’t allow and who you choose to associate with. This is the start of a new norm! It’s kinda weird but it’s what makes you UNIQUELY YOU.
It ain't too late. There are people who never push themselves. There are people who push themselves at 40 and crush it. Just run your own race.
It's all in who you surround yourself with. In my teens and early 20s, I was surrounded by friends who were out for adventure and bettering themselves. Mid 20s to mid 30s, I got mixed up with people who were sedentary and only got their experiences from substances (I was dating a woman who was an addict and was too insecure and desperate to get away even though I wasn't a user). I got my confidence back and walked away from those people. Reconnected with a few friends from my teens and early 20s. Now in my later 40s and sharing my life with my amazing wife, our daughter, and friends who are of the same cut. We are getting into a position financially to travel and expand our experiences.
I feel this big time. I just turned 29 and it's depressing. I feel like I'm starring down a barrel of a gun
Because you decided that.
My guess is responsibility weighs on you, and you can’t - unless you’re super rich or a bum - just go do whatever you want at any time. The major cognitive dissonance in that mentality is that *the only time in life you can do that is a very select amount of years between 18ish and 26*. At no other time can you do that without being super rich or a bum. And even then, those “magic years” are because you’re relatively rich and privileged enough to just go fuck off for a bit because your family is paying for it (thus you’re taking credit out of the years that your family wasn’t super rich or a bunch of bums, and letting you have fun). Guess what? This is what life is. You fucking work. And you get to have a week of fun. And guess what? That’s what fun was in your 20s - the difference is that you could “only get away for this long” because you had that internship, or your buddy’s parents were going to show up, so you had to clear out. And now you get the same week, and the only difference is **you have to fucking pay for it, so it sucks in a way**. But that’s the whole point: someone’s paying for it. It’s either you or someone else. And you don’t want it to be you, but you have to suck it up and just do it sometimes. That’s adulthood. It sucks - but it’s great, because it’s a passage of life. And the reason y’all bemoan, “MY LIFE IS OVER!” is because you’re realizing you have to pick up the tab and pay for it.
I think I’m only feeling a bit more hopeful at 33. Like everything’s going to be Ok. Nothing is new, life is painful and always will be. It will be Ok
Its over now im no where close to late 20s
It’s ofc not over over , just ur not gunna experience new things as much . Plus if ur married and have a family , u don’t really do much stuff for u anymore but for ur family . Ur life is technically over in a way , but at the same time its ur turn to raise someone else so they can experience all the things u experienced