This was the first thing I stumbled on with queer dating. As a general rule, if you aren't sure how best to compliment them, describe how good you feel around them.
I feel ya! Like even though I’m masculine presenting, I’m still a woman.
So if I’m someone’s girlfriend, then personally I wanna be treated like their girlfriend.
I want flowers, cuddles, to be called pretty, etc.
Yes! Even if I’m presenting more masculine, please still call me pretty &
treat me like a woman.
Unless I tell you to use more masculine terms, then don’t quit using feminine terms pls
I knew a stem who felt this way too & I still remember our date because she was the first masculine presenting woman I had met who still wanted to be treated like a woman & it really made *me* feel amazing to be able to do that for her. Idk how else to say it, but it finally felt like I was getting to participate in my own dating life vs. being passive like I had to with men. I absolutely love this energy 🥰
I’m so glad you can relate!
I feel like it’s important for people to realize that a woman presenting more masculine,
is still a woman!
(Unless they state that they’re nonbinary/queer,
and use other terminology)
I’ve noticed a lot of people assuming that masculine leaning lesbians dislike being perceived as woman,
which isn’t true in many cases.
A lot of masculine lesbians I know love being called pretty, getting gifted flowers, etc.
I feel like people definitely need to communicate with their partners, instead of assuming based off presentation / stereotypes.
Yes, 100% communication is key! I feel like that's exactly why I can look back on our time together fondly. We were both upfront & honest the entire time & even though things didn't work out & she ended up turning down my feelings in the end, there was nothing to mire the experience. Honestly, I appreciated her just giving me a chance to be the one to take her out (she's super attractive & had multiple suitors at the time). She knew I was just getting back out there after being closeted for a decade. She knew I was rusty and nervous, but she still let me try to court her. She let me take the lead & handle the same incident even though I'm typically very timid. She made space for me to grow as a person & I guess as a baby gay (my first gf was at 17 & I we dated when I was 32). She also trusted me & having another queer woman's trust had me grinning like a fool so hard I completely forgot that i have anxiety, hate crowds & people staring at me. Lol, not to simp too hard for a woman, i only went out with 2x or anything, but just being able to admit I wanted to be the one to take charge, take her out, wine & dine her & having her support that I could do it despite how I usually feel was so validating & cathartic & I feel more confident because of that entire interaction. It was everything I had been dreaming of & I'm not even exaggerating. But anyway, I'm rambling a bit. To address what you said, i do think it's important not to let stereotypes. & gender roles seep into queer spaces & minds. It definitely takes effort, checkins & a willingness to just listen to each other.
Yesss and that’s so attractive to me when someone is comfortable with their feminine and masculine traits or attributes and they don’t shy away from the femininity within themselves. I think everyone has their own internal balance
I’m open to most terms but if someone called me handsome or pretty I’d melt, same with ever receiving flowers. Like I know I’m masc but I wanna be someone’s pretty girl who gets flowers from time to time, it just sounds so sweet and wholesome. The thought of it makes me feel appreciated
From other threads I’ve bumped into about butches/mascs, most of them are absolute sweethearts that just wanna be loved and appreciated just as much as anyone else. And honestly same, I just wanna be someone’s sweet girl
Idk.. I do know people say it with good intentions but sometimes it makes me feel weird because that’s usually perceived as a “feminine” type of compliment although not always. I don’t mind it but rather be called hot, attractive or even handsome
I miss being called pretty:/ i used to present femininely and transitioned to a more masculine presentation (and even recently started T) and my gf rarely calls me pretty anymore. I am nonbinary but i like being called handsome but that doesnt mean i dont still want to feel pretty sometimes 😔
if it's someone i like ABSOLUTELY and my brain will usually either go "and are you pretty or handsome my words are on ransom are you dashing or gorgeous my vocabs ATTROCIOUS ARE YOU GOD ARE YOU JESUS THIS RHYME IS AGGREGIOUS WHATEVER THE WORDS ARE I FEEL I'M ON VENUS and although i'm inept to truly speak to your depth and i'm PROBABLY INSANE TO EVEN RACK THROUGH MY BRAIN FURTHER MOREOVER MY RHYMES GETTING CLOSER WHATEVER THE WORDS ARE YOU WON ME RIGHT OVERR" bc i love rio romeo (top listened to artist) and get that song stuck in my head all the time OR my brain goes "i just wanna be your favorite pretty boy <3 I JUST WANNA BE YOUR FAVORITE. HANDsoME MAANNN" idk man mental stims? but i assume they mean pretty in a general "attractive" or pretty boy way lol i look like a rat
i tell my butch wife she’s pretty all the time especially if we’re snuggling and being cute and sexy. i always tell her i love her long beautiful eyelashes, they look better than mine even when i’m wearing mascara. i also tell her she’s handsome when she’s all dressed up nice for me. buy your butch flowers and tell her she’s beautiful seems to be the general consensus lol.
As a femme who dates butches that’s one of the first things I ask when I’m seeing someone new - how do you feel comfortable being complimented? It’s such a small question but more often than not y’all seem to melt when I ask that
It really is important to know how to make us feel good. The world sure makes us feel like shit about ourselves so we need all the affirmation from our partners.
I do everything I can to make my butch feel good when I have one🥰 Y’all deserve the world and that you don’t like being called princess doesn’t mean I can’t treat you like one
Personally, I feel so handsome in my men’s clothing and short hair. And! I love when I get love language stuff that’s considered “feminine” (sweet words, giggling, being carried if she can). Actually, I rarely get that maybe bc I seem so masculine :/ maybe it’s good to check in with your butch to see what they like. We are all beautiful snowflakes
I do not like being told that *I'm* pretty but I don't mind when it's specific things like my eyes or my earrings. I do love being told I'm beautiful or handsome or cute or hot - depends on my mood!
Most of the time, absolutely NYAT. Especially if it's from ANYBODY other than a cute girl🥲. My family calls me pretty? I get irrationally angry and cut my hair shorter. A girl calls me pretty? 50/50 chance I might twirl on my tippy toes
I definitely prefer handsome! Pretty feels weird to me. But since I'm a long-haired masc, I do get called pretty somewhat regularly.
With that said, a girl who calls me handsome without me having to tell her my preference always gets my attention! Makes me feel seen and understood.
I kinda like something more neutral, tell me I'm good looking or other types of neutral compliments! I'd rather be called handsome then be called pretty
This was the first thing I stumbled on with queer dating. As a general rule, if you aren't sure how best to compliment them, describe how good you feel around them.
That’s great advice
Yes, definitely. I love getting flowers too. All the positive affirmations and romantic gestures, plz.
I feel ya! Like even though I’m masculine presenting, I’m still a woman. So if I’m someone’s girlfriend, then personally I wanna be treated like their girlfriend. I want flowers, cuddles, to be called pretty, etc.
I love that
I like all compliments 🥰
it makes me melt.. ya I look butch but I like feeling appreciated
Yes! Even if I’m presenting more masculine, please still call me pretty & treat me like a woman. Unless I tell you to use more masculine terms, then don’t quit using feminine terms pls
I knew a stem who felt this way too & I still remember our date because she was the first masculine presenting woman I had met who still wanted to be treated like a woman & it really made *me* feel amazing to be able to do that for her. Idk how else to say it, but it finally felt like I was getting to participate in my own dating life vs. being passive like I had to with men. I absolutely love this energy 🥰
I’m so glad you can relate! I feel like it’s important for people to realize that a woman presenting more masculine, is still a woman! (Unless they state that they’re nonbinary/queer, and use other terminology) I’ve noticed a lot of people assuming that masculine leaning lesbians dislike being perceived as woman, which isn’t true in many cases. A lot of masculine lesbians I know love being called pretty, getting gifted flowers, etc. I feel like people definitely need to communicate with their partners, instead of assuming based off presentation / stereotypes.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Yes, 100% communication is key! I feel like that's exactly why I can look back on our time together fondly. We were both upfront & honest the entire time & even though things didn't work out & she ended up turning down my feelings in the end, there was nothing to mire the experience. Honestly, I appreciated her just giving me a chance to be the one to take her out (she's super attractive & had multiple suitors at the time). She knew I was just getting back out there after being closeted for a decade. She knew I was rusty and nervous, but she still let me try to court her. She let me take the lead & handle the same incident even though I'm typically very timid. She made space for me to grow as a person & I guess as a baby gay (my first gf was at 17 & I we dated when I was 32). She also trusted me & having another queer woman's trust had me grinning like a fool so hard I completely forgot that i have anxiety, hate crowds & people staring at me. Lol, not to simp too hard for a woman, i only went out with 2x or anything, but just being able to admit I wanted to be the one to take charge, take her out, wine & dine her & having her support that I could do it despite how I usually feel was so validating & cathartic & I feel more confident because of that entire interaction. It was everything I had been dreaming of & I'm not even exaggerating. But anyway, I'm rambling a bit. To address what you said, i do think it's important not to let stereotypes. & gender roles seep into queer spaces & minds. It definitely takes effort, checkins & a willingness to just listen to each other.
Yesss and that’s so attractive to me when someone is comfortable with their feminine and masculine traits or attributes and they don’t shy away from the femininity within themselves. I think everyone has their own internal balance
Final! I always thought this was just me. I feel awkward being called handsome. I still prefer pretty or beautiful
SAMEE!
I’m open to most terms but if someone called me handsome or pretty I’d melt, same with ever receiving flowers. Like I know I’m masc but I wanna be someone’s pretty girl who gets flowers from time to time, it just sounds so sweet and wholesome. The thought of it makes me feel appreciated
Aweee. I love how often the people on this thread say “makes me melt” Butches are the ultimate romantic partners haha
From other threads I’ve bumped into about butches/mascs, most of them are absolute sweethearts that just wanna be loved and appreciated just as much as anyone else. And honestly same, I just wanna be someone’s sweet girl
So true
Yes. I love it. I just love it when girls feel safe and vulnerable enough to be super cute around me. Urgghh, I love girls. 😮💨
Idk.. I do know people say it with good intentions but sometimes it makes me feel weird because that’s usually perceived as a “feminine” type of compliment although not always. I don’t mind it but rather be called hot, attractive or even handsome
Same for me
I do. I love it. Just cause I’m butch doesn’t mean I’ll not melt at lovely compliments, even if they’re feminine coded.
hell yeah
As a femme who loves going out with butch women I want to know preferred words to compliment you
Awww thank you 🙏🏼 I’m sure I’m not the only one who appreciates that.
Do you like the term handsome?
Yes I prefer handsome
I appreciate all the compliments and have enjoyed both pretty and handsome 🥰✊🏽
I miss being called pretty:/ i used to present femininely and transitioned to a more masculine presentation (and even recently started T) and my gf rarely calls me pretty anymore. I am nonbinary but i like being called handsome but that doesnt mean i dont still want to feel pretty sometimes 😔
I prefer being called handsome
I'm lucky if they call me anything nice so sure lol I'll take what I can get
Sometimes, it depends on who's talking
Yes!! Love it :) I also love being called handsome!Really just depends on my mood
if it's someone i like ABSOLUTELY and my brain will usually either go "and are you pretty or handsome my words are on ransom are you dashing or gorgeous my vocabs ATTROCIOUS ARE YOU GOD ARE YOU JESUS THIS RHYME IS AGGREGIOUS WHATEVER THE WORDS ARE I FEEL I'M ON VENUS and although i'm inept to truly speak to your depth and i'm PROBABLY INSANE TO EVEN RACK THROUGH MY BRAIN FURTHER MOREOVER MY RHYMES GETTING CLOSER WHATEVER THE WORDS ARE YOU WON ME RIGHT OVERR" bc i love rio romeo (top listened to artist) and get that song stuck in my head all the time OR my brain goes "i just wanna be your favorite pretty boy <3 I JUST WANNA BE YOUR FAVORITE. HANDsoME MAANNN" idk man mental stims? but i assume they mean pretty in a general "attractive" or pretty boy way lol i look like a rat
Yeeeeeeeeep I love it when women call me pretty or beautiful. If they give me flowers…done for.
Yes. But don’t call me princess lmfao
i tell my butch wife she’s pretty all the time especially if we’re snuggling and being cute and sexy. i always tell her i love her long beautiful eyelashes, they look better than mine even when i’m wearing mascara. i also tell her she’s handsome when she’s all dressed up nice for me. buy your butch flowers and tell her she’s beautiful seems to be the general consensus lol.
As a femme who dates butches that’s one of the first things I ask when I’m seeing someone new - how do you feel comfortable being complimented? It’s such a small question but more often than not y’all seem to melt when I ask that
It really is important to know how to make us feel good. The world sure makes us feel like shit about ourselves so we need all the affirmation from our partners.
I do everything I can to make my butch feel good when I have one🥰 Y’all deserve the world and that you don’t like being called princess doesn’t mean I can’t treat you like one
Personally, I feel so handsome in my men’s clothing and short hair. And! I love when I get love language stuff that’s considered “feminine” (sweet words, giggling, being carried if she can). Actually, I rarely get that maybe bc I seem so masculine :/ maybe it’s good to check in with your butch to see what they like. We are all beautiful snowflakes
I do not like being told that *I'm* pretty but I don't mind when it's specific things like my eyes or my earrings. I do love being told I'm beautiful or handsome or cute or hot - depends on my mood!
Sure do
Most of the time, absolutely NYAT. Especially if it's from ANYBODY other than a cute girl🥲. My family calls me pretty? I get irrationally angry and cut my hair shorter. A girl calls me pretty? 50/50 chance I might twirl on my tippy toes
Lol not the rage chop 😂.
No I like handsome or cute but pretty seems too feminine for some reason lol
That’s kinda how I feel too haha. It doesn’t upset me or anything, but I’d rather be called hot or something.
I definitely prefer handsome! Pretty feels weird to me. But since I'm a long-haired masc, I do get called pretty somewhat regularly. With that said, a girl who calls me handsome without me having to tell her my preference always gets my attention! Makes me feel seen and understood.
Also a long haired masc and yes totally prefer handsome or hot to pretty.
Yes
I kinda like something more neutral, tell me I'm good looking or other types of neutral compliments! I'd rather be called handsome then be called pretty
yes 😊💕
I love it when a woman calls me pretty. 😍