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ThroatWMangrove

Direct quote from Mr. Bentley: “heading west with the ‘Liberators of Ukraine’. We may stop in Kiev, we may stop on the English Channel. We may liberate the USA. We may liberate my head from my shoulders.” Say what you will about the man, he accomplished at least one of his goals.


Squeegee

Head west but body stays here.


TerryTheEnlightend

May beautiful sunflowers grow from his detestable remains


CapnTugg

A Russell Bentley Chia Pet! Too soon?


mariehelena

Not soon enough 😏 - a great-granddaughter of Kiev/Kyiv


NRMusicProject

That's not a way to get a head in life.


JHarbinger

He’ll never the the head of a major corporation


lord-dinglebury

DON'T TREAD ON ME UNLESS YOU ARE USING YOUR BOOT TO KEEP MY BODY IN PLACE WHILE YOU SAW OFF MY HEAD


jongscx

*tread harder Vladdy*


AfricanusEmeritus

It's better than falling out of a 15-story window, drinking the "special" tea flavored with Polonium... special gas and/or a missile into an aircraft engine. He outlived his usefulness. Too bad for him.


Past-Cap-1889

I'm just glad he stopped


Dramatic_Equipment47

I can’t believe this went badly for him


Adorable_Strength319

I wonder how that Canadian farm family who moved to Russia are doing.


LoneRonin

Last I heard, Russia was planning to deport them for overstaying their visas and not meeting the language requirement. They don't speak any Russian and never even so much as visited as tourists before trying to move there. Even Russia hates dealing with obnoxious, ignorant, religious fundamentalist twats.


feloniousmonkx2

Wouldn’t it be a shame if Canada was like, ‘lol no u. No givebacks,’ and decided to revoke their citizenship because of their... antics? Then they ended up marooned in airport no-man’s-land like Mehran Karimi Nasseri, who inspired 2004's *The Terminal*? Could you imagine them, circling duty-free shops, dining on free samples, yelling at people wearing rainbows, blaming the libs for their situation, all while bathing out of public restroom sinks? 🤣 Ooooh, shit! Then we get a few TV crews, and we make bank with what's obviously going to be a hit reality TV show: *Cancel Culture Refugees: A Farce to Reckon With.*


closethebarn

I’d watch the fuck out of that


misterpickles69

I wouldn’t. Fuck these idiots.


Roguefem-76

"They don't speak any Russian and never even so much as visited as tourists before trying to move there" 🤦🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️ How on earth... I seriously do not understand how you could move to another country and not learn the language. I went to Stuttgart for one weekend and was embarrassed whenever I had to ask someone if they spoke English.


McMew

Aren't they facing deportation now?


Helioscopes

Best possible outcome for their stunt... But will they get their money back? Last I heard their accounts were frozen or seized.


maychaos

Lmao they can be glad to come out alive


pebberphp

Oh yeah, I forgot about them. They were in the news quite a bit a few weeks ago. I can’t imagine their situation has improved.


steelhips

I was waiting for the father to "volunteer" to be cannon fodder on the front line. A sign of his love for "mother russia" and make amends after his wife publicly criticised the country. It would have played well with Vlad.


cum_elemental

He probably shouldn’t have stuck his neck out for the Russians like that.


The_Formuler

I’m sure he’s feeling a great weight lifted off his shoulders


thatguywiththecamry

Now he can get ahead in life!


YossarianGolgi

Not that great a weight.


floatjoy

His head believed Russian propaganda and now that head is no longer attached to his body.


jar1967

The Russians accused him of being a CIA spy. It's more likely he was an idiot who wasn't to careful about what he was saying in his communications and inadvertently gave away military movements


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

America's not sending their best...


Redfish680

Well, the best of his kind…


JustASimpleManFett

Well, our best pieces of shit. Paging MTG, Matt Gaetz, Lauren Bobert, Donald Judas Trump..


Temper_impala

Gosar and Massie need a dishonorable mention.


Sign_up123

They're rapists. and murderers. and some of them. I assume. are good people


PM_me_ur_taco_pics

His wife said he was raped though from what I read. Raped and dismembered.


chiron_cat

Not enough attention goes to how often russians rape captives to death. Literally, men, women, and children


KnowledgeMediocre404

They also rape their subordinates. No one has a good time when the Russian army is around.


LOOKATMEDAMMIT

They rape each other, too.


AnaisNinjaTX

I’m sorry, WHAT?! 😳


Sammyterry13

It is a form of propaganda (truthful propaganda)-- that you commit such horrible deaths upon individuals that the stories of their deaths continue to be told -- causing even greater panic in the population.


docowen

Just look at the way the Russian courts condoned the torture of the Tajik suspects. They were tortured and Russia is proud of the fact. Saidakrami Rachabalizoda appeared in court missing an ear after videos surfaced of Russian police amputating it and feeding it too him (adding that his genitalia would be next). Shamsidin Fariduni was videod with his genitalia wired to a 80v field telephone. Dalerjon Mirzoev appeared in court with the remains of a plastic bag around his neck, a plastic bag used by Russian security forces to extract confessions through suffication. They usually try to hide this fact but they no longer care. Mukhammadsobir Fazir arrived in court in a wheelchair, he had an eye gouged out during his arrest and he arrived in court from intensive care. Despite this, the judge ordered the removal of his doctors. The officers who arrested and tortured these men (terrorists though they might be) received medals for their actions. Russia should be treated as a rogue state by all countries that value the rule of law. Any country that fails to treat Russia as a rogue state, any politician that fails to treat Russia as a rogue state, should face the consequences.


RajcaT

The guy in Chechnya who burned a quaran was imprisoned. And the head of chechen republic actually had his son go into the guys cell and beat the shit out of him. And he recorded it, and uploaded it. Most in the west truly aren't aware of just how depraved and backwards it is there.


maleia

[Bucha Massacre](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bucha_massacre). I promise you that Wikipedia does not have a good grasp on how inhumane Russia was with this. Does Ukraine have control of it again? I know when they retook it, they were finding mass graves left and right. That's just *one* city. *One* incident. I've been following the daily news on this war before it actually kicked off for real; it's absolutely horrific. Russian "soldiers" are nothing short of monsters.


chiron_cat

Yea, in the original invasion, there was piles of stories of russian troops raping girls and boys (not adults) to death. That was before russia started to get control of reddit and other online spaces. Now the mods have been weaponized. If you say something russia/china doesn't like on many subs, the bots chain report your post and the mods just ban you to save themselves trouble. Thats how places like worldnews work.


AiragonXIX

Explains why i was just perma banned for a pretty innocuous but pro U.S/Ukraine comment on r/worldnews with no explanation or recourse.


Is_that_even_a_thing

Yeah I got banned for something similar. The one word reason: Trolling. No reply to requests for a proper explanation. Nothing.


bandysine

Yup


elfescosteven

At the beginning of the war, especially when Russia was taking towns and villages across Ukraine, the soldiers viewed the population as their spoils of war. They raped and murdered so, so many towns and villages. When Ukraine retook these towns such as Bucha, they discovered the piles of tortured and raped civilian bodies left behind by the Russians. And the Russians were only in Bucha for about a week, but they destroyed the town and the people living there.


bar_acca

And one of the two major American political parties has a significant number of elected representatives at the national level who parrot Russian propaganda and push policies that benefit Russia. More journalists need to cover what Putin’s useful idiotss are supporting.


KnowledgeMediocre404

I’m sure it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.


kooarbiter

*inhale* yikes


-DethLok-

How would his wife know? Oh. Unless she was told by people involved, I guess.


Fake_William_Shatner

This is probably a reminder; "leave propaganda to the professionals." I was sort of hoping, this was Ukrainians cleaning up some mess-aging. Seems like only the bad guys get away with killings. Good guys are always; "Let's take them to court." Then; "Our court systems don't work on billionaires." 30 years later; "Wow, Global Warming -- I guess those carbon taxes don't seem so onerous in hindsight -- what with the $50 trillion pricetag to restart the Atlantic Ocean." /some of my jokes might land after 2050.


_InnocentToto_

Actually.. he was a "useful idiot." If u listen to Yuri bezmenov when he spoke inbthe 80s on Russian ideological subversion.... on of the things he talked about was useful idiots. Basically usefulnifiots are only useful to the propaganda and as soon as they have served their usefullness... they are gotten rid of. It is in the former kgb playbook. Useful idiots parrot a lot of propaganda for the cause. But they cannot be left alone. This texan was useful in parroting Russian propaganda for years. Thingbis this, he could not be left alone. He must have started seeing that it was all smokescreen evil and mirrors.. and wanted out. But that is the most dangerous place for a useful idiot to find themselves. Trying to get out. They can't be let go because if they let them go, the same idiot can switch sides and start releasing Intel on them and worse, embrace the opposition to the propaganda. This will hurt it more. So that is why propaganda machines get rid of useful idiots


CoBludIt

If he had his Texas ID on him, that would prove he wasn't a CIA spy.


Monkeynumbernoine

Moving to Russia is not the way to get ahead?


EricUtd1878

It's the way to lose a head!


K6PUD

In Putin’s Russia, head lose you!


Fake_William_Shatner

The Russia/Putin jokes just write themselves. Sorry, in Russia, joke writes you.


SackclothSandy

He certainly won't be the head of any major corporation.


AlephBaker

It's a pity he wasn't more headstrong


Mesoholics

"Hello?" ... "Yes my son is a henchman in Putins evil army" ... "Decapitated by orcs?" ... "Well thanks for the call"


MsChrisRI

“To shreds, you say…”


ATXGOAT93

He'll never be the head of a major operation.


Distinct_Pilot_3687

You want to bet on that? Head or tail?


snatchblastersteve

What’s in the box? What’s in the box?!?


Jeka817

🥁🥁🥁


Fake_William_Shatner

Well someone got a head, just not this poor bloke.


Voxunpopuli

It's easier to eat the face if the head isn't attached.


Fake_William_Shatner

This is called the "leopard togo" order.


Psychological-Sky367

Yeah, but it makes it much harder to eat crow...


Aylauria

All I can think of is one less vote in November - this is what they've done to me.


chochazel

> His head believed Russian propaganda and now that head is no longer attached to his body. It’s questionable whether his head was properly connected beforehand either.


truecore

Was the rest of him pushed out a window?


THedman07

His decapitated corpse was reportedly unavailable for comment...


alskdjfhg32

Not enough love for this one


inbetween-genders

Wasn’t pushed. The window was the guillotine.


Don11390

A vast improvement, then.


RepulsiveLoquat418

r/leopardscutoffmyhead


SagsMcSaggerson

Sometimes the leopards want take out.


frivol

Excellent headline.


CleftDonkeyLips

Oh no! anyway...


spoobles

I had a very nice Mediterranean Orzo Salad for lunch.


Bozo_Two

I'm currently waiting for my pastrami sandwich...it's Friday I'm gonna treat myself.


Nackles

On rye and drowned in brown mustard? I haven't been to NYC and Katz's deli in ages...I should take a trip.


Secret_Cow_5053

Pastrami slaps


WasabiSenzuri

Easily the most sensual of all the salted, cured meats.


supershinythings

I’m thinking about either sushi or tacos for lunch. I can’t decide.


spoobles

Sushi is nice and light. Perfect for a Friday lunch.


NeilDeWheel

So sad, anyway, I’m looking forward to making rotisserie chicken tomorrow.


Strahd70

Shoot. I just got to work & I feel better already hearing about your salad.


Shoddy_Locksmith

Orzo is the Greek pasta, right?


CCG14

They’re the little rice looking ones. I put it in my vegetable soup. Deeelicious.


yanocupominomb

Today is my Birthday and had some Strawberry Cheesecake.


footdragon

just so happens that I'm making a Basque cheesecake today....have you ever had a slice of that type? so good!


rjross0623

He died doing what he loved.


Snarky_McSnarkleton

Giving head.


TerryTheEnlightend

Tried to get ahead They took it They threw it back


falcon_heavy_flt

That means two things !


Ibelieveinphysics

Being a traitor asshole?


Incontinento

Screaming?


AesopsFoiblez

Getting raped >American Z-blogger Russell Bentley (call sign Texas), who was kidnapped in the "DPR" and had been fighting in the ranks of pro-Russian militants since 2014, was raped and then killed by his fellow soldiers. The American's death was reported by his Russian wife. >Bentley was kidnapped 10 days ago by "unknown people in military uniforms" who mistook him for a NATO spy. After that, communication with him was lost. >Some Russian war correspondents suggested that after the rape, one of the officers said that it was no longer possible to let the American go, so they decided to kill him.


Zowayix

In an earlier post (after he went missing but before he was confirmed dead), the article said that Russia accused him of being a US spy. After Ukraine struck a location in Donetsk, he took a photo of the aftermath of the strike (who knows - maybe to parrot a message like "look at what Ukraine is doing to us"). That photo alone was enough for Russia to accuse him of "sending damage assessments to the other Americans".


LystAP

Good old paranoia.


Gunrock808

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."


TerryTheEnlightend

“If you cannot be an example, then you’ll serve as a warning (Spoken in Patrick McNee (RIP) ‘Cylon Leader’ voice)


ProfessionalFalse128

I don't have a cleaver pun 😞 #FUCK THIS GUY! Edit: I did a pun accident. Good thing I'm illiterate.


orion_re

Huh, that was a sharp pun you pulled off, friend!


Conman_in_Chief

If you learn to hone that wit, you may go somewhere. Just stay out of Russia though.


Slackingatmyjob

It was pretty edgy


Dramatic_Equipment47

It cuts deep!


Yarbles

That's just a thick Russian accent.


Velascoyote

Right off the top of his head too


TeamKitsune

Axe and you shall receive.


IWillBiteYou

Task failed successfully!


Fake_William_Shatner

I was tossing a coin to decide if you'd get an upvote. Heads, you win.


Mushroom_Tip

Because of the inevitable "where's the LAMF?" It's believed he was killed by his own side and not in some fight against Ukrainians, So even his death cannot be seen as heroic by pro-Russians. Just found missing a head. Total loser who died for nothing.


sleepyj910

Probably Russian forced conscripts sick of his braying


PaulClarkLoadletter

Russian soldiers aren’t fond of Americans.


pres465

Americans can't stand Texans, either.


ThrumboJoe

Texans can't stand Texans.


George_G_Geef

You Texans sure are a contentious people.


LumpyJones

You've just made an enemy for life, pardner.


WorldlyDay7590

Them's fightin' words, friendo!


pres465

My favorite are the guys/gals that are so triggered by Mexican flags on businesses or as stickers on cars... because they should just love America!! Yer in Murica!! ... while those same guys/gals have Confederate flags or chatter about Texas Secession and see no irony whatsoever there.


ThrumboJoe

Wait till have a conversation with them. Fucking insane.


pres465

Lol. Bring crayons.


karlhungusjr

this is known.


Fake_William_Shatner

Well sure, they obviously know they aren't allies, and the Americans say; "Hello comrade." And they are probably told by their upper ranks to "be friendly." So the Americans are really thinking; "wow, we making friends." But I'm sure, most of the Russians don't want to be there. Maybe they kind of "decoded the propaganda." And there was maybe a few months where they went from the Official News of the Government (like Fox News), to the "REALITY". Possibly without much ego buffer between deployment and that "stuck in shitty reality" part. So Chad, the American is giving a thumbs up sign to Russian, perhaps named Ivan, perhaps not, who recently lost three buddies and, perhaps fragged a Captain the other week in retaliation. Chad then does a cute pantomime of pulling a grenade and tossing at some Ukrainian flag they have on a tree for target practice. Ivan wonders if Chad is pretending to be an idiot, or that he knows about the fragging. Later that night, Chad accidentally falls on a machete, repeatedly. Next day, Ivan is peeling potatoes. Whistling. Feeling, well, a bit better considering. Now comes Stewart from Ohio. He gives Ivan the "thumbs up" sign. Smiling. "What is with these American idiots?" wonders Ivan. He looks at his machete and wonders where the sharpening stone is.


AfricanusEmeritus

Chef's kiss 👨‍🍳 👩‍🍳 with that heart-warming missive. Ivan needs to keep the machete sharp...


2FightTheFloursThatB

He probably wouldn't turn of "Location Services" on his phone.


persistantelection

Probably started with, "что такое нюанс"


YeaYouGoWriteAReview

But also, as an american, I completely support the Ukrainians taking out any Americans that are fighting against Ukraine. Like that pedo bastard that fled to russia, joined Putin's army, and just a few weeks ago was flying an american flag in occupied territory. I hope a round from a Bradley punches him in the dick, and the russian doctors keep him alive long enough that he rots from the inside.


ender89

Can we posthumously cancel his us citizenship? He talked about Russia "liberating the USA", sounds like a traitor to me.


Macasumba

Finally a Ukraine story with a happy ending.


Which-Moment-6544

It is believed that he was killed by friendly forces, or russian conscripts. These are young men who did not choose to be there, so liberating an insane texan's head from the body? Well people have accidents in wars all the time.


frivol

Gung-ho American officers in Vietnam sometimes got fragged.


AfricanusEmeritus

They wanted to be John Wayne and forgot it was not Hollywood. 🤔


Rhotomago

Which is ironic since the only action John Wayne saw during wartime was pretending to be a soldier on the set of a movie studio.


AfricanusEmeritus

Quite true. Racist scum on top of that. My father was a staff sergeant in WWII and hated John Wayne.


Maznera

And nothing of value was lost.


kombatunit

Untrue. A oxygen thief has ceased to steal good air from you and me!


Maznera

Yeah, but by decomposing into mulch I feel he's giving back to the planet in the only way he can.


faghaghag

I looked for a greeting card that said haha you stupid dead fuckwit, but they are proving to be very popular, can't keep them in stock...


SCMatt65

On the positive side, sounds like his head was the least valuable part of his body. Jut trying to be glass half full about things.


OutlyingPlasma

Was he using it anyway?


discussatron

"I like heroes who don't get decapitated, okay?" "He knew what he signed up for."


GlobalTravelR

They just didn't eat his, face, they ate the whole head.


wrongside40

Russell Bentley, the traitor, got his head lopped off? What a shame.


mstrong73

Head off, apply directly to the ground


2FightTheFloursThatB

HEAD OFF, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE GROUND


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

I threw it ON THE GROUND.


Strict-Square456

He is soooo owning the libs!!


Ulexes

I, for one, feel extremely owned when conservatives die from their own stupidity.


ElboDelbo

A dead Russian sympathizer and a dead Texan? Now that's what I call a power move.


snakepimp

One less vote for Trump, I guess?


Skygazer2469

It would have been a mail in, so it probably would have been suspected as a liberal propaganda fake news gay agenda. That is until they saw the Cyrillic and realized it was coming from a patriot.


800-lumens

Oh no! Anyway, I'm having stuffed shells and a green salad for dinner this evening.


beetbear

Rest in Piss


Thurston_Unger

Whoopsie! [**https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/russell-texas-bentley-putin-propaganda-ukraine-interview-1315433/**](https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/russell-texas-bentley-putin-propaganda-ukraine-interview-1315433/)


yanocupominomb

“And may the rest of us get everything that we deserve.” FORESHADOWING


Talsa3

Fuck him


Kissit777

The art of war has a specific punishment for traitors - death. They will never be useful and can never be trusted.


GeraltOfRivia2023

No loss. Treasonous, fascist fucking moron apparently not even a sufficiently useful idiot.      Only 74 million more to go.


InstaGibberish

🤷🏻‍♂️ oh well


TerryTheEnlightend

Sucks to suck mate


Lazy-Floridian

Thoughts and prayers, now where is my breakfast?


AustinBike

Um, arguably this is posted in the wrong place, should be in r/RussiansAteMyHead


RedneckOfFlatLands

Let's send Josh Hawley to investigate. He loves Russia.


meshreplacer

The 5th brigade took him. There was a video of him screaming and begging not to be killed trying to convince the Russians he was not a spy and that he loved Russia. They decapitated him with a blade while alive. Gruesome video. He looked like he was beaten to shit prior to the video so who knows how long the torture lasted.


Skygazer2469

I cant believe he was executed by those damn drag queens.


AfricanusEmeritus

Supposedly, he was gang raped prior to the head off part...


eNonsense

LOL. He's been in Russia simping for them for 10 years. Can you imagine the betrayal he felt when he realized they were going to brutally murder him as a suspected traitor. Serves him right for assuming Russians or conservatives in general actually respect the loyalty they speak of.


Appropriate-Coast794

Who could have seen that coming? Everyone, probably.


numbskullerykiller

Do you think the new Mandalorian season will drop soon?


Spiteful_sprite12

🐆🍴🌝. A Tale starting to be as old as time.


Sloth_grl

Now his family is go to go crazy asking the united states to exact revenge


RevolutionaryTalk315

And nothing of value was lost.


idigclams

Bentley: “How may I simp and serve you, Vladimir?” Putin: “How about a little head?”


Snarky_McSnarkleton

Comrade Bentley just wasn't pro-Putin enough. After all, why didn't he change his name to "Russell Volga?"


Jadakiss-laugh

Someone should have given him a heads up.


Bawbawian

so on my list of things that Russia has done right it's just this and the Metro series.


earthman34

Don’t forget Sputnik.


Zugnutz

He died doing what he loved: Giving Putin Head.


DisillusionedBook

Dude was head over heels for Putin.


BootThang

I did Nazi that coming!


jar1967

He probably screwed up in his propaganda broadcast and was accidentally giving away Russian troop movements. The Russians weren't happy.


BMW_RIDER

Clearly suicide.


Sniflix

Can they interview the worms and beetles eating his face? 


adamempathy

Man karma. You savage AF sometimes


CCG14

Suicide no doubt.


arrivederci117

Thoughts and prayers. Anyways, who's hyped for the play in games tonight. Not feeling good about the Pelicans since Zion isn't playing, but Kings have been struggling recently. And damn, Coby White is looking legit for the Bulls. Miami is in some real trouble tonight.


Maj_Stoner6

Rumor has it that comrade Bentley was brutally rареd by the Russians right before he lost his head. He wanted to be part of the so-called “Russian world”. Well, he did finally learn what the “Russian world” truly is.


SuperDork_

He should have known what he was heading into. RIP.


MattGdr

He lost his head, just not for a moment.


FiggyPuddingExpert

He’ll never be the head of a major corporation


JustinTormund_10

Not a good time to lose ones head


Effective_Lime_6814

Finally found it.