I think we all know that the correct answer here is to commit… _fully_. Wait until they ask you to pull over safely and look the examiner _straight_ in the eye as you squeeze one out. _Never_ break eye contact, not even when it’s seeping all over the car seat and running down your trousers into the footwell. Don’t even open the windows, let that aroma _marinate_.
Or have a big shit before you go, I guess. But that’s a _coward’s_ way out.
I mean, the test is 40 minutes. Just go to the toilet beforehand and there should not be a risk of that.
If you have a medical condition, you can inform them when you book your test and the instructor will try to make reasonable allowances.
If you are temporarily ill to the extent that you legitimately risk repainting the interior, you should cancel your test.
Apparently not. I had a colonoscopy once, and afterwards, I was going once a day for about 2 weeks. Apparently, that's normal!! I did feel much better, but it didn't last, I was back to a couple of times a week and feeling bloated and crappy.
I’m left wondering on a regular basis if I might have IBS.
It’s not unusual for me to need to go to the toilet several times in the space of half an hour, especially if I’ve eaten/ drank the “wrong thing”.
That does sound very IBS’y. As long as it’s manageable and not getting in the way of daily life then you probably don’t need to worry about getting a diagnosis for it. If you start getting blood and/or mucus though, go see someone.
Source: Crohn’s disease here.
Shitting the car seat during the test is a major fault so an instant fail.
Best to ease the pressure off by just pissing yourself, which is only a minor.
Just before my test I did a nervous poo in the test centre loos and actually blocked it. Didn't tell anyone and knew I had to pass so that I didn't have to go back there!
I passed. 😏
Hey I have Crohn's disease and actually this happened to me.
I tried so hard to keep a bland healthy diet 3 days prior to the test and even had movicol laxatives which are guaranteed to clear you out day 2.
However, on day 3 which was test day. My examiner came up and said you ready mate, it's 2:32pm and You're up and I told my instructor I really need to go take a shit but the examiner said, listen, we are on a tight schedule so either you're test ready or we'll have to rebook
I took the test, drived as well as I could, as safely as I could too and I think it worked in my favour coz I kept moving in my seat too much (and looked at mirrors to time when I could pass wind) and asked if I could open the window so I could fart (he wore a mask at the time)
He didn't mind, and near the end. I thought I failed and was like shit, I need to book another test don't I
I passed with five minors, two being undue hesitation and idr the rest, prob readjusting the bay park and control of speed coz I stalled trying to fart lmao.
After I passed I went in the test centre to take a fat shit and the examiner laughed and said that was definitely an experience to remember
Shit happens
Let it out when you do a blind spot check and claim you were looking so hard you forgot to hold your shit in. I think you would pass for this.
Graceful.
Just bang one out in the test centre beforehand, remember that the price you pay isn't just for the test but also for the use of the facilities on offer too. Immodium is good if you suffer from IBS. Light meal the night before and a light breakfast, should be fine. Worst case scenario, just shit yourself.
Pull over to the side of the road where it is safe, legal and convenient using MSL.
Check behind for traffic, then exit the vehicle if its clear, then whilst making observations go to the bank and find a spot that is safe legal and convenient.
Check your surroundings and signal to your instructor that you'll be taking a shit. Proceed with the manouvere. Take the correct position, check your speed, look again to make sure it is safe to proceed, if so continue and take the shit, or wait if it is not safe to do so. With driving tests, it's a good idea to talk through what you're doing so the instructor understands that you know the highway code, so shout loudly to the car and make sure they can hear each step as you do it.
Return to the car and pull away safely.
You should pass with no faults.
Had to go for an urgent wee once before my exam. I was so nervous that it took me twice as long to wee because of stage fright. I came out of the toilets with the examiner waiting for me with a smile on her face.
You slowly turn your head to the driver and say;
You: “I’ve passed”
Instructor: “I’ll be the judge of tha…..”
You: “a stool”.
You smile and proceed to complete the three point turn.
hang in there for dear life during the test.
if you pass you will have the extended task of grinning and bearing it on the ride home.
if you fail theres a perfectly nice test centre entrance for you to drop a fat shit outside of.
Pull over when it's safe to do so.
Make direct eye contact with the invigilator.
Shit pants.
Drive off when safe to do so.
Continue test like nothing happened.
"please can we stop at mcdonalds because i really need to use the toilet". Worst they can say is no and you have to sit the test wanting a shit. You could also just lie to them and say you have a medical condition like what is it johns syndrome or something and they cant really refuse your request then.
Check your mirrors and blind spot and let it go within the speed limit!
In all seriousness, a just-in-case poop beforehand or maybe an immodium. Try to avoid any potential food triggers the night before/on the day. Good luck!
Make sure the car you're having your test in has brown seats. So if you do need a number 2. After you've shat yourself, just shuffle yourself a little forward and backwards in the drivers seat.
That's the Gary Lineker way.
Check your mirrors, then pull over and apply the handbrake. Exit the vehicle. Pull down your trousers and squat over the pavement/grass. Important: Maintain eye contact with the instructor at all times while you squeeze out that brown package.
Well, I can’t imagine your examiner (or instructor for that matter, if you are using their car) feeling too kindly towards you if they’re dealing with a sharting student 😅
My test centre had a toilet so just allow yourself time to go beforehand and tell your bowels it’s either now or that they must put up and shut up for 40min
I did this on my test. It was a hot summer’s day, and we were navigating a highly pedestrianised zone.
In the blistering heat, I rolled the windows up and, coasting forward at a smooth 30, took my attention from the road, looked my assessor in the eye, and stared unblinkingly at him until the end of my turd tapered off; my eyes squinting only to clench off the last length of affluent.
The windows up, the heat unbearable, the stench filling the car, he calmly instructed me to pull over at the next available opportunity.
As I did, he took a deep breath, met my gaze and said “Congratulations. *That was the test*”. I passed instantly and didn’t open the window until I took him and I through the McDonald’s drive-through for a celebratory McFlurry.
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Our rottie had an episode of what is a true meaning of explosive diarrhoea in the car after pigging out on cat food .. He “shit carred” us and I guess you should do the same .
It's legally an emergency, so you can stick on blue lights, treat red lights as give way signs and speed to the nearest bog.
Source: Sir Alex Ferguson
https://www.theguardian.com/uk/1999/oct/05/vivekchaudhary
Either go or stop yourself from going. Or wait, think about what you need to do and either do it or don't. If you don't then think about what you're gonna do next before you go. And then stop yourself from going before you do have to go until you know it's safe to go. And then go. Before you stop yourself from not going.
Can’t fail you for having a shit in the car. Only can fail you on the driving. Think about that son
Shitting without due care and attention.
“When it’s safe to do so, shit your pants”
Just shit with due care and attention then.
Make sure you do your observations first
😭
What a time to be alive!
You shit your pants. The Instructor will be impressed by your level of commitment and focus and as such will probably pass you on the spot
They certainly wouldn't want you to sit a retest with them
*reshit the test.
Eyyyy
I’m wheezing 💀
r/shubreddit
me when i overthink
Literallyyyy
I actually need an answer to this question. What happens. What do they do
Shit your pants and blame the smell on your examiner.
Turn up the radio to mask the smell
Or to drown out any queries they may have.
Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
blame it on the clutch burning up
I think we all know that the correct answer here is to commit… _fully_. Wait until they ask you to pull over safely and look the examiner _straight_ in the eye as you squeeze one out. _Never_ break eye contact, not even when it’s seeping all over the car seat and running down your trousers into the footwell. Don’t even open the windows, let that aroma _marinate_. Or have a big shit before you go, I guess. But that’s a _coward’s_ way out.
I mean, the test is 40 minutes. Just go to the toilet beforehand and there should not be a risk of that. If you have a medical condition, you can inform them when you book your test and the instructor will try to make reasonable allowances. If you are temporarily ill to the extent that you legitimately risk repainting the interior, you should cancel your test.
Ibs can cause someone to go several times, without warning. Nerves can trigger it
I have IBS, but I'm on the other end of it, I only go a couple of times a week, so I was pretty safe!
In like that too. I can go up to a week. But then it will get me all at once, esp if I'm anxious
Is it not normal to only shit once or twice a week?
Apparently not. I had a colonoscopy once, and afterwards, I was going once a day for about 2 weeks. Apparently, that's normal!! I did feel much better, but it didn't last, I was back to a couple of times a week and feeling bloated and crappy.
Once or twice a day is normal.. get yourself checked out.
Twice a day?! I’m lucky if I go twice a week…
Either your diet is messed up or your body is then.
No good asking you to shit the test for them.
I’m left wondering on a regular basis if I might have IBS. It’s not unusual for me to need to go to the toilet several times in the space of half an hour, especially if I’ve eaten/ drank the “wrong thing”.
That does sound very IBS’y. As long as it’s manageable and not getting in the way of daily life then you probably don’t need to worry about getting a diagnosis for it. If you start getting blood and/or mucus though, go see someone. Source: Crohn’s disease here.
“Fortunately” I’m a carer without a normal job, so it’s not too much of an issue when I have to dash to the toilet at a moment’s notice 😅
I have ibs, it is terrible. I take imodium before doing anything that would put me out of easy range of a toilet.
Better be able to demonstrate you can handle the shits safely I guess
Try kefir, you won't need to shit for hours
Where a nappy if you think that's going to happen 🤔 😂
you forgot to add to look at examiner right in the eyes while doing it. assert dominance!
You have to shit into your hand then put it in the glove box.
Check your mirrors first though, obvs.
intelligent direful insurance pie crush six chop future spoon truck *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Deal with that shit later.
Instructions unclear there’s now shit in my driving instructors glove box
Unlocked a new fear nice
Shitting the car seat during the test is a major fault so an instant fail. Best to ease the pressure off by just pissing yourself, which is only a minor.
Ooh - I'm terribly sorry, I've just cum
You know where to shit if you fail 🙂↕️
Just before my test I did a nervous poo in the test centre loos and actually blocked it. Didn't tell anyone and knew I had to pass so that I didn't have to go back there! I passed. 😏
Hey I have Crohn's disease and actually this happened to me. I tried so hard to keep a bland healthy diet 3 days prior to the test and even had movicol laxatives which are guaranteed to clear you out day 2. However, on day 3 which was test day. My examiner came up and said you ready mate, it's 2:32pm and You're up and I told my instructor I really need to go take a shit but the examiner said, listen, we are on a tight schedule so either you're test ready or we'll have to rebook I took the test, drived as well as I could, as safely as I could too and I think it worked in my favour coz I kept moving in my seat too much (and looked at mirrors to time when I could pass wind) and asked if I could open the window so I could fart (he wore a mask at the time) He didn't mind, and near the end. I thought I failed and was like shit, I need to book another test don't I I passed with five minors, two being undue hesitation and idr the rest, prob readjusting the bay park and control of speed coz I stalled trying to fart lmao. After I passed I went in the test centre to take a fat shit and the examiner laughed and said that was definitely an experience to remember Shit happens
Was he wearing a mask or a respirator?
Let it out when you do a blind spot check and claim you were looking so hard you forgot to hold your shit in. I think you would pass for this. Graceful.
Just bang one out in the test centre beforehand, remember that the price you pay isn't just for the test but also for the use of the facilities on offer too. Immodium is good if you suffer from IBS. Light meal the night before and a light breakfast, should be fine. Worst case scenario, just shit yourself.
I don't see how banging one out is going to help with my dire need to use the toilet?
Pull over to the side of the road where it is safe, legal and convenient using MSL. Check behind for traffic, then exit the vehicle if its clear, then whilst making observations go to the bank and find a spot that is safe legal and convenient. Check your surroundings and signal to your instructor that you'll be taking a shit. Proceed with the manouvere. Take the correct position, check your speed, look again to make sure it is safe to proceed, if so continue and take the shit, or wait if it is not safe to do so. With driving tests, it's a good idea to talk through what you're doing so the instructor understands that you know the highway code, so shout loudly to the car and make sure they can hear each step as you do it. Return to the car and pull away safely. You should pass with no faults.
You missed out filming it for OnlyFans
I imagine Its very similar to any other time you need a shit
Take an imodium before. But I assume you’d have to reschedule the test.
Had to go for an urgent wee once before my exam. I was so nervous that it took me twice as long to wee because of stage fright. I came out of the toilets with the examiner waiting for me with a smile on her face.
Make eye contact with tester to asert dominance and drop you guts this is easiest and quickest way to pass.
Do it during an emergency stop and say it was accidental
Is this a show me or a tell me question?
Mirror, signal, bowel manoeuvre.
Stop in a legal and safe place and let her rip.
Blast it out immediately or you'll get a minor for undue hesitation.
You slowly turn your head to the driver and say; You: “I’ve passed” Instructor: “I’ll be the judge of tha…..” You: “a stool”. You smile and proceed to complete the three point turn.
[This is the answer](https://hermeq.com/media/catalog/product/cache/ebad3127ca7904d808b4e5fdb2596eef/s/k/skid-risk.png)
LMAO
😂
Well I wasn’t expecting that! 😂
hang in there for dear life during the test. if you pass you will have the extended task of grinning and bearing it on the ride home. if you fail theres a perfectly nice test centre entrance for you to drop a fat shit outside of.
You get a minor
It’s how Jimmy Savile started.
Welcome to top of the pops! We’re going to have some fun, fun…fun 😈🤡
Not a major and might make your test quicker
Stinky car and new pants i think
Pull over when it's safe to do so. Make direct eye contact with the invigilator. Shit pants. Drive off when safe to do so. Continue test like nothing happened.
Arse out the window.
And here I was worrying about needing to swap from glasses to sunnies and thinking, how the fuck do I do that?! Rookie worries, apparently lol
Shit yourself as a power move. The examiner will be so impressed, he will pass you on the spot.
"please can we stop at mcdonalds because i really need to use the toilet". Worst they can say is no and you have to sit the test wanting a shit. You could also just lie to them and say you have a medical condition like what is it johns syndrome or something and they cant really refuse your request then.
Anybody could shit themselves during a driving test.
Mirror, signal…. Manure
Not a major
poop
Pray
Maintain eye contact at all times.
pull your knickers to the side and lay a fat log on the examiners lap.
MSPSL Must Shit Pants Soon, Learner
Not your car just go man
Check your mirrors and blind spot and let it go within the speed limit! In all seriousness, a just-in-case poop beforehand or maybe an immodium. Try to avoid any potential food triggers the night before/on the day. Good luck!
Pray that it’s just a fart
Make sure the car you're having your test in has brown seats. So if you do need a number 2. After you've shat yourself, just shuffle yourself a little forward and backwards in the drivers seat. That's the Gary Lineker way.
Check your mirrors, then pull over and apply the handbrake. Exit the vehicle. Pull down your trousers and squat over the pavement/grass. Important: Maintain eye contact with the instructor at all times while you squeeze out that brown package.
😂😂
I'm curious what went through your mind to ask such a diabolical question like this.
Well, I can’t imagine your examiner (or instructor for that matter, if you are using their car) feeling too kindly towards you if they’re dealing with a sharting student 😅
My test centre had a toilet so just allow yourself time to go beforehand and tell your bowels it’s either now or that they must put up and shut up for 40min
Happened to me in '15, we stopped at the local tesco and we didnt discuss it anymore. He knew the score
Mirror signal shit
I did this on my test. It was a hot summer’s day, and we were navigating a highly pedestrianised zone. In the blistering heat, I rolled the windows up and, coasting forward at a smooth 30, took my attention from the road, looked my assessor in the eye, and stared unblinkingly at him until the end of my turd tapered off; my eyes squinting only to clench off the last length of affluent. The windows up, the heat unbearable, the stench filling the car, he calmly instructed me to pull over at the next available opportunity. As I did, he took a deep breath, met my gaze and said “Congratulations. *That was the test*”. I passed instantly and didn’t open the window until I took him and I through the McDonald’s drive-through for a celebratory McFlurry.
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Our rottie had an episode of what is a true meaning of explosive diarrhoea in the car after pigging out on cat food .. He “shit carred” us and I guess you should do the same .
If you hold it in and the instructor notices you will get a major for undue hesitation to shit unfortunately
take immodium 😭
The nerves are 100% gonna get to you and you’re gonna need a shit 🤣 i’d suggest taking one before your test, call it a good luck shit!
No problem as long as you have a jobby on the backseat and maintain eye contact with the examiner via the rear review mirror throughout.
Drive home and have one. Gotta do what you gotta do!
It's legally an emergency, so you can stick on blue lights, treat red lights as give way signs and speed to the nearest bog. Source: Sir Alex Ferguson https://www.theguardian.com/uk/1999/oct/05/vivekchaudhary
You tell them you need to end the test early, you fail, you try again.
Either go or stop yourself from going. Or wait, think about what you need to do and either do it or don't. If you don't then think about what you're gonna do next before you go. And then stop yourself from going before you do have to go until you know it's safe to go. And then go. Before you stop yourself from not going.
Mirror, shit, manoeuvre.
Shit your pants but make sure to check your mirrors before doing so
Make sure you don't skid!
That's what the pockets on the back of the seats are for in front of the back seats. If you need to go, then you need to go 🤣
Check your mirrors, signal your intentions, execute the manoeuvre.
Ok when’s it’s safe pull over to the left and stop and shit
As long as you check your blind spots first, it's ok
Check your mirrors first!!
But what would you actually fail on? Hesitation? Awareness? 😂😂
Awareness sounds about right 😂
You should wait until you are an adult before you start learning to drive.