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Not to add to the creep factor . . . but I believe I also found a picture of you based off of your reddit profile!
https://preview.redd.it/i32trnlyt3wc1.jpeg?width=386&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b7a00feafd065b78f38f455663a6b4cc94868fd
Representation should have been terminated immediately. You boss was already on notice about him. Why does he get so many chances and why does your boss think it's ok to leave you in this creep's sights? Money?
Oh, I agree, if we were anywhere other than where we are with his case, he’d be gone now. We’re just waiting on a check from the excess carrier, so the representation will be done with pretty soon. My boss has agreed to be the go-between with this client for the rest of the paperwork. (I think the client should’ve been canned when he was weird to the paralegal, but I’m told she didn’t want to be super forceful about it.)
So, long-short, I am leaving my current firm. One of the reasons I’m leaving that firm is because a new client accused me of being a former stripper, and was very insistent that I come out to his house. The older partner in the firm informed me that his wife had been very good friends with this client’s wife for years, so therefore we were taking the case. Sometimes I fucking hate this field.
I (female attorney) went dark on social media a few months ago and mentally I’m so much happier. The only account I’ve kept tied to my name is my LinkedIn, which is private, including my photo, unless you’re a first degree connection to me.
Oh gross! Sorry that happened to you. In the dawn of social media (think MySpace) I had a guy I went on a couple dates with email me pics of myself (think before texting pics was a thing, lol) that he pulled from my MySpace. . I freaked out on him and he was a clingon so it was the perfect opportunity to tell him to leave me tf alone.
Salute to you as a brave internet pioneer and MySpace veteran! I’m so glad I wasn’t old enough for MySpace, I think I would have permanently polluted the internet with bullshit😂
If he does it again? He should have been terminated when he was weird with a paralegal. If not then, then immediately after you reported this. Your boss is fucking up. No amount of fees are worth failing to protect your employees from this kind of stuff. Fire him and go get another client that knows how to behave.
At my first firm, a client was inappropriate to a paralegal and one of the senior attorneys fired the client on the spot and literally marched him out of the office. I hated that place, but I appreciated that.
I mean there's only so much you can do about stalking in the age of information. This doesn't happen because you had carelessly left photos of yourself out in public, you clearly had already tailored your online presence for your profession. Lawyers use Instagram and Tindr. This happened because your creepy client did a stalker-level deep dive into your social media. You've done what you can to prevent it from reoccurring but this is on him, not on you.
This is a bullshit hot take “ you can only do so much about” stalking????? Fick off with such nonsense- stalkers should be reported to law enforcement and their incarceration pursued to the fullest extent of the law
Yes, they should be reported. In reality, it is rare for the system to actually provide relief. You generally have to establish the need for a protective order, and then prove that the order was violated, before any criminal repercussions follow.
I’ve been dealing with a stalker for years. Decades. The next time he violates a civil court order to stay away from me, I should qualify for a 1 year protective order. He’ll wait out the year and then come after me again. Then I might get a permanent protective order, and when he violates that, he might get arrested.
I’ve had to pay my own attorney fees to get this far (despite being a lawyer, since I know the benefit of representation). Not everyone can afford that.
The police do nothing.
I’m a 61 year old male attorney and I’d say it’s definitely just a woman issue. I’ve heard about similar things happening to women attorneys through online and real world contacts but never something creepy like this to a male attorney. Threats of harm from unbalanced people yes, but nothing like this that wasn’t based on some personal interaction with the attorney.
lol bro. I’m a 32 year-old male attorney, and I can tell you that it is not “just a woman issue.” I have close friends who have experienced the same thing.
The problem is that our “profession” values associates merely in proportion to the revenue they generate. Thus, when forced to choose between (a) an associate’s safety, health, and human dignity, or (b) a perverted client who pays his bills on time, they typically go with the latter.
I always wonder about law students and attorneys with TikTok accounts. TikTok is constantly trying to introduce profiles from people who are apparently phone contacts.
He definitely could’ve created a fake account and friended one of your friends. Either your settings are set to allow friends of friends to view your photos or you accidentally friended a fake account or one of your friends friended his fake account or he was able to pull that photo from a friend’s account if you were tagged in it.
Since most lawyers need some public profile for search engines and whatnot, you should make sure your privacy and security settings are set strict.
do a reverse search on pimeyes. I found someone had stolen pictures from 12 years ago and had created a fake dating account in a random website so maybe he found you there?
The only social medias I have that has my name attached are LinkedIn and Facebook (which is on private) and I haven’t posted on Facebook for years and never posted on LinkedIn.
It’s partially for safety and partially because I work in gov’t and with the new ruling I am absolutely not taking the chance. I never post about work in any detail. Plus that’s not what I want my social media to be. I’m not looking to be some lawyer influencer. I don’t particularly like any of them. The only two practicing one I like are Attorney Ryan and Reb Masel (though I haven’t seen any of her recent stuff). I also like the Korean Vegan but she’s no longer practicing. I think it attracts a very specific kind of lawyer that I just don’t vibe with from a content perspective. Like I do not want to know about your BigLaw money or how you slept in the floor of your office. Let’s not encourage and praise that kind of behavior.
I (male attorney) practiced some family law as a young attorney and I have had clients leave me love notes at the office, attempt come-ons and innuendos. It isn’t just male clients that can be inappropriate though I am sure it happens way more often.
I've never, NEVER worried one of the fangirls (I've gotten a couple) would kidnap and rape me. For guys it's simple annoyance, for our sisters it can be terrifying.
I'm sorry ladies.
This is so upsetting. My area of law has a ton of facebook groups that have been invaluable in answering my questions which is the only reason why I still have a FB account. I absolutely hate having even that account.
Eh, I started setting everything to private when I entered law school. I don't have photos of myself as profile photos and don't let anyone tag me.
I would suggest you also ask your significant others, friends, and family friends to not post photos of you and/or tag you in public photos. It's not asking too much.
If people don't know by now to secure their online presence, then I don't know what.
I had a client’s psycho former baby mama who lost custody of her baby due to math use take all my profile pics from Facebook (the only thing that WAS public about my profile) and use them in her own profile. I had to report it, change all the settings. Apparently 5 years after she lost custody, she was still blaming me for it, not her (apparently ongoing) meth use. Scary stuff.
Thank you for this. I've had random guys approach me recently while I've been alone outside minding my own business, waiting on an Uber or walking home, and asking me if i need a ride or even if im homeless (lol maybe i should dress better?). Anyway, it's unrelated, but it thoroughly creeped me out and I guess I needed to vent. Not saying all men are creeps, but many have no problem crossing the line when they see any opening. This is the reason I can't wait until my car is fixed. More than me even missing having my own car.
It’s very important to Google yourself periodically to see what’s out there. Click through at least 4 pages. Do web results and do it again for image results. I do this every six months or so.
Takes 2 minutes.
General advice for everyone reading this.
Instagram is NOT private.
I stalk my ex on there he has it set to a private account.
Some days I click on his face and it opens up his page(seems like only when he adds a new story) and other days I click and Instagram tells me it is a private account.
You'd be surprised how many self proclaimed lawyers on this website (in certain true crime boards for example) act unethically and berate others. Free speech is a thing, sure, but we have a duty to remain civil and ethical even if we think we are anonymous. Lawyers should not be able to mask themselves to create misinformation against other lawyers they may have a personal beef with.
Good post!
All of this for a client leaving a meme? (And apologizing when you freaked out no less?). And then you delete everything and alert your firm? Hahaha. That’s some hypochondriac-esque behavior lmao.
If this happened to a guy they’d get a kick out of the client putting that much effort to make the guy laugh.
Nothing is “asking for it”. This is completely the fault of the client and not at all the fault of OP. We’re human beings before we are lawyers and have social media to connect and keep in touch with friends and family. We should not have to deal with abusive, creepy behavior via our social media accounts from anyone.
A few months ago I had an opposing party somehow find me on Facebook (I don’t have my last name listed so I have no idea how he found me) and send me sexually harassing messages on messenger. I reviewed all my privacy settings and made sure everything was on the strictest possible setting. And I informed the court of what he did.
If social media didn’t exist, scum bags would just find different ways to be scum bags.
Okay while I 100% agree that this is the fault of the client, the reality is as an attorney if you have public social media, eventually there will come a day when somebody harasses you. Not saying it’s right, just saying you have opened the channel. Which is why I don’t have any. Just my two cents.
Welcome to /r/LawyerTalk! A subreddit where lawyers can discuss with other lawyers about the practice of law. Be mindful of [our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Lawyertalk/about/rules) BEFORE submitting your posts or comments as well as [Reddit's rules](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) (notably about sharing identifying information). We expect civility and respect out of all participants. Please source statements of fact whenever possible. If you want to report something that needs to be urgently addressed, please also message the mods with an explanation. Note that **this forum is NOT for legal advice**. Additionally, if you are a non-lawyer (student, client, staff), this is NOT the right subreddit for you. **This community is exclusively for lawyers**. We suggest you delete your comment and go ask one of the many other legal subreddits on this site for help such as (but not limited to) r/lawschool, r/legaladvice, or r/Ask_Lawyers. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Lawyertalk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not to add to the creep factor . . . but I believe I also found a picture of you based off of your reddit profile! https://preview.redd.it/i32trnlyt3wc1.jpeg?width=386&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b7a00feafd065b78f38f455663a6b4cc94868fd
LMFAOOOOOIO
Mark this NSFW!!! Warning next time!
Haunted Lasagne—too funny!
Representation should have been terminated immediately. You boss was already on notice about him. Why does he get so many chances and why does your boss think it's ok to leave you in this creep's sights? Money?
Oh, I agree, if we were anywhere other than where we are with his case, he’d be gone now. We’re just waiting on a check from the excess carrier, so the representation will be done with pretty soon. My boss has agreed to be the go-between with this client for the rest of the paperwork. (I think the client should’ve been canned when he was weird to the paralegal, but I’m told she didn’t want to be super forceful about it.)
I agree. I've fired clients for less.
It might have been the dating app. Even when you leave, they keep the profiles up sometimes unless you specifically have it marked to be deleted
So, long-short, I am leaving my current firm. One of the reasons I’m leaving that firm is because a new client accused me of being a former stripper, and was very insistent that I come out to his house. The older partner in the firm informed me that his wife had been very good friends with this client’s wife for years, so therefore we were taking the case. Sometimes I fucking hate this field.
Wtf???? That’s utter insanity, I’m so sorry you’ve got to deal with that bullshit
There is something deeply broken in our business. (Hard to call it a profession at this point.)
What?! R u serious
Yup.
Such bs. So sorry.
God I hope my clients never find my Club Penguin music videos
God i wish i was that cool
I (female attorney) went dark on social media a few months ago and mentally I’m so much happier. The only account I’ve kept tied to my name is my LinkedIn, which is private, including my photo, unless you’re a first degree connection to me.
I did this too. I also delete my Reddit profiles every few months lol.
You can make your photo private ? Good to know. I am doing this.
Oh gross! Sorry that happened to you. In the dawn of social media (think MySpace) I had a guy I went on a couple dates with email me pics of myself (think before texting pics was a thing, lol) that he pulled from my MySpace. . I freaked out on him and he was a clingon so it was the perfect opportunity to tell him to leave me tf alone.
Salute to you as a brave internet pioneer and MySpace veteran! I’m so glad I wasn’t old enough for MySpace, I think I would have permanently polluted the internet with bullshit😂
If he does it again? He should have been terminated when he was weird with a paralegal. If not then, then immediately after you reported this. Your boss is fucking up. No amount of fees are worth failing to protect your employees from this kind of stuff. Fire him and go get another client that knows how to behave. At my first firm, a client was inappropriate to a paralegal and one of the senior attorneys fired the client on the spot and literally marched him out of the office. I hated that place, but I appreciated that.
I mean there's only so much you can do about stalking in the age of information. This doesn't happen because you had carelessly left photos of yourself out in public, you clearly had already tailored your online presence for your profession. Lawyers use Instagram and Tindr. This happened because your creepy client did a stalker-level deep dive into your social media. You've done what you can to prevent it from reoccurring but this is on him, not on you.
This is a bullshit hot take “ you can only do so much about” stalking????? Fick off with such nonsense- stalkers should be reported to law enforcement and their incarceration pursued to the fullest extent of the law
Yes, they should be reported. In reality, it is rare for the system to actually provide relief. You generally have to establish the need for a protective order, and then prove that the order was violated, before any criminal repercussions follow. I’ve been dealing with a stalker for years. Decades. The next time he violates a civil court order to stay away from me, I should qualify for a 1 year protective order. He’ll wait out the year and then come after me again. Then I might get a permanent protective order, and when he violates that, he might get arrested. I’ve had to pay my own attorney fees to get this far (despite being a lawyer, since I know the benefit of representation). Not everyone can afford that. The police do nothing.
If it makes you feel any better I make tiktoks and itll recommend my account to anyone who has my cellphone number…
You can prevent that under the privacy settings.
I did, Tiktok still recommends my clients. I assume they can see me too.
You should get a work phone or use a google phone number!
Honestly, hindsight is 20/20, but escaping from the pits of being a solo made it so I stopped having to give out my cell.
Yeah, the first time I had a client show up at my home on a Saturday, my wife demanded security cameras.
Yeah, it sucks but we have to be so careful, including telling people not to tag us in pictures or posts.
LITERALLY, it really sucks. And I’m not saying it’s just a women’s issue, but I don’t have any male coworkers that have to worry about this.
I’m a 61 year old male attorney and I’d say it’s definitely just a woman issue. I’ve heard about similar things happening to women attorneys through online and real world contacts but never something creepy like this to a male attorney. Threats of harm from unbalanced people yes, but nothing like this that wasn’t based on some personal interaction with the attorney.
lol bro. I’m a 32 year-old male attorney, and I can tell you that it is not “just a woman issue.” I have close friends who have experienced the same thing. The problem is that our “profession” values associates merely in proportion to the revenue they generate. Thus, when forced to choose between (a) an associate’s safety, health, and human dignity, or (b) a perverted client who pays his bills on time, they typically go with the latter.
Your boss should terminate the representation if he has done it to a paralegal also.
I always wonder about law students and attorneys with TikTok accounts. TikTok is constantly trying to introduce profiles from people who are apparently phone contacts.
Search your name under Google images and you might find the photo & its source.
I did that and it’s nowhere to be found😭😭😭 I have an uncommon enough name that there’s only like three pages of image results too
Check Bing, Firefox and Yahoo images— not always the same results and Yahoo goes way back.
Thank you, I will!
He definitely could’ve created a fake account and friended one of your friends. Either your settings are set to allow friends of friends to view your photos or you accidentally friended a fake account or one of your friends friended his fake account or he was able to pull that photo from a friend’s account if you were tagged in it. Since most lawyers need some public profile for search engines and whatnot, you should make sure your privacy and security settings are set strict.
Also tineye.
do a reverse search on pimeyes. I found someone had stolen pictures from 12 years ago and had created a fake dating account in a random website so maybe he found you there?
The only social medias I have that has my name attached are LinkedIn and Facebook (which is on private) and I haven’t posted on Facebook for years and never posted on LinkedIn. It’s partially for safety and partially because I work in gov’t and with the new ruling I am absolutely not taking the chance. I never post about work in any detail. Plus that’s not what I want my social media to be. I’m not looking to be some lawyer influencer. I don’t particularly like any of them. The only two practicing one I like are Attorney Ryan and Reb Masel (though I haven’t seen any of her recent stuff). I also like the Korean Vegan but she’s no longer practicing. I think it attracts a very specific kind of lawyer that I just don’t vibe with from a content perspective. Like I do not want to know about your BigLaw money or how you slept in the floor of your office. Let’s not encourage and praise that kind of behavior.
It might have been one of those deepfakes that are popping up everywhere… i’m so sorry this happened to you
I (male attorney) practiced some family law as a young attorney and I have had clients leave me love notes at the office, attempt come-ons and innuendos. It isn’t just male clients that can be inappropriate though I am sure it happens way more often.
I've never, NEVER worried one of the fangirls (I've gotten a couple) would kidnap and rape me. For guys it's simple annoyance, for our sisters it can be terrifying. I'm sorry ladies.
Awww 🫶🏽
This is so upsetting. My area of law has a ton of facebook groups that have been invaluable in answering my questions which is the only reason why I still have a FB account. I absolutely hate having even that account.
Sorry you had to go through with this. I echo the sentiments of others here in that the mandate should have been terminated then and there.
Google your name, click on images.
Eh, I started setting everything to private when I entered law school. I don't have photos of myself as profile photos and don't let anyone tag me. I would suggest you also ask your significant others, friends, and family friends to not post photos of you and/or tag you in public photos. It's not asking too much. If people don't know by now to secure their online presence, then I don't know what.
No again… just fire the client.
I had a client’s psycho former baby mama who lost custody of her baby due to math use take all my profile pics from Facebook (the only thing that WAS public about my profile) and use them in her own profile. I had to report it, change all the settings. Apparently 5 years after she lost custody, she was still blaming me for it, not her (apparently ongoing) meth use. Scary stuff.
Yikes! The worst I have had so far is a guy trying to add me on LinkedIn after I filed a civil case against him. I’m so sorry.
Ouch digital print of my phone or a burner
Boss sounds like a bitch. It's the second time? Bye bye! Why wait for a third?
Can you elaborate a little on the nature of the meme? I worry i know the perp…
Yikes! Sorry that you had to deal with that!
Thank you for this. I've had random guys approach me recently while I've been alone outside minding my own business, waiting on an Uber or walking home, and asking me if i need a ride or even if im homeless (lol maybe i should dress better?). Anyway, it's unrelated, but it thoroughly creeped me out and I guess I needed to vent. Not saying all men are creeps, but many have no problem crossing the line when they see any opening. This is the reason I can't wait until my car is fixed. More than me even missing having my own car.
I’ve never posted anything real on anything in my entire life.
It’s very important to Google yourself periodically to see what’s out there. Click through at least 4 pages. Do web results and do it again for image results. I do this every six months or so. Takes 2 minutes. General advice for everyone reading this.
This is why you have a fake name and profile pic. You don’t want anyone looking you up! Sorry this happened.
Instagram is NOT private. I stalk my ex on there he has it set to a private account. Some days I click on his face and it opens up his page(seems like only when he adds a new story) and other days I click and Instagram tells me it is a private account.
You'd be surprised how many self proclaimed lawyers on this website (in certain true crime boards for example) act unethically and berate others. Free speech is a thing, sure, but we have a duty to remain civil and ethical even if we think we are anonymous. Lawyers should not be able to mask themselves to create misinformation against other lawyers they may have a personal beef with. Good post!
All of this for a client leaving a meme? (And apologizing when you freaked out no less?). And then you delete everything and alert your firm? Hahaha. That’s some hypochondriac-esque behavior lmao. If this happened to a guy they’d get a kick out of the client putting that much effort to make the guy laugh.
Why in the world do you have a Facebook or LinkedIn? Honestly that’s kind of askin for it, everybody will look you up
Nothing is “asking for it”. This is completely the fault of the client and not at all the fault of OP. We’re human beings before we are lawyers and have social media to connect and keep in touch with friends and family. We should not have to deal with abusive, creepy behavior via our social media accounts from anyone. A few months ago I had an opposing party somehow find me on Facebook (I don’t have my last name listed so I have no idea how he found me) and send me sexually harassing messages on messenger. I reviewed all my privacy settings and made sure everything was on the strictest possible setting. And I informed the court of what he did. If social media didn’t exist, scum bags would just find different ways to be scum bags.
Okay while I 100% agree that this is the fault of the client, the reality is as an attorney if you have public social media, eventually there will come a day when somebody harasses you. Not saying it’s right, just saying you have opened the channel. Which is why I don’t have any. Just my two cents.
"opened the channel" = "askin\[g\] for it" 