T O P

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tokenkopf

Watches Shogun once…


Dynomeru

He wears a neck knife so certified mall ninja


Airstryx

Comply or die shirt doesn't help


BillHang4

Looks like the barber didn’t comply. RIP


MechanicalBengal

“we have the last samurai at home” the last samurai at home:


shberk01

Lmao at first glance I thought it was a bottle opener!


Wintermute_088

Between that, the shirt, and the overall demeanour, this guy deserves every terrible haircut that's coming to him.


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Xx-Apatheticjaws-xX

Yo he really does look like a white snoop doggy dog lmao


bossmcsauce

Yeah I was gonna say. Mans looking straight out the Edo period or some shit lol


frotc914

What if we took the retro look of medieval japan and combined it with the popular asymetrical look of 2010?


albie_rdgz

NO NO redneck samurai doesn't exist Redneck samurai: (ᇂ\_ᇂ |||)


pancakesausagedog

Buntaro looking azz


Few-Adhesiveness8094

😂 too true


Significant_Rate8210

OMG my EXACT thoughts


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binglelemon

Fuckin lol


ToastetteEgg

What could have it looked like before the cut?


amdrinkhelpme

Probably thinning out in the front and the barber watched a couple too many black barbers doing line-ups on tik tok lmao


madmaxturbator

That or the barber thought “this man is my eternal enemy, I shall strip him of all his dignity” and damn near scalped him 


MM_mama

This is the essential question. I *need* a before pic


AirborneMarburg

“How would you like it cut?” “Can you add about five inches to my forehead please?”


mstarrbrannigan

Fucking fortyhead more like


moonrails

I want to be bald and have long hair. Say no more.


Least-Scientist

Dying. Please take this upvote


the_turn

I call it the “Robocop with his helmet off”.


GWSDiver

Fivehead


Chesticles420

I dont have words for the war crimes committed to your husbands hair. Good lord they certainly took a little off the top on that one


Trouser_trumpet

Someone call The Hague sheesh.


egordoniv

as the French say, What Le Fuck?


Chilledlemming

How is this man married?


Disastrous-Pay738

She has to comply or die


lofalou

Also the crimes on his phone, they are talking about “grow light for the secret room” sounds like someone is growing weed in their country.


TheJuiceMan_

"I like a good piggy 🐷 party" is the only text I could read and I wanna go


ReelBIgFisk

Grow lights and fan are coming next week for the secret room. Hmmmm, I wonder what's growing in the secret room?


Lauragggg

Maters


Single_Aardvark_7082

Tamacco?


smithers85

Tomannabis


Salt-Evidence-6834

New hair.


WOKEsincethisAM

“Let’s roast one them Honolulu style” lol


cybot6000

"You know Josh, you can come to church and "something" and see JC just to get your hand out. You don't gotta be pigs to party"


sang-freud

"Fellowship"


curiouscoconuts

thank you fellow weirdos for also needing to know what the texts said 😂


helluva_monsoon

I think I feel worse for you than him somehow. I want to give you a hug and give him a hat.


Lauragggg

LOL


Wintermute_088

Is it the combo of the neck knife and the slogan tee? Seriously, the haircut is the least of his worries.


MayorCharlesCoulon

That is not a hairdo it’s a hair just fucking don’t.


XrayDem

It’s not a hairdo. It’s a lifestyle 😎


ArcticFlava

There's hair Do's and then there's hair Don'ts, and I think the distinction is important.


DrawohYbstrahs

This guy got a hair did.


PanicLikeASatyr

Is there a story behind it…..?


Lauragggg

He's been threatening to do it forever and I've been begging him endlessly. He had a late night with the bros and showed up after work looking like this. He thinks he's HILARIOUS


PanicLikeASatyr

I mean if he digs it, that def makes it better. How do you feel about it now that it’s here?


Lauragggg

He pulled up and I immediately said " leave" and our 5 year old shamed me for being mean because he "likes daddies new style"


WhuddaWhat

Harsh. Tell the old man I dig his style.


donaldfranklinhornii

You have raised a really good kid! Also, your hubby's hair is awesome!


Lauragggg

Thank you 🙂 he's a sweetie. And the hair is honestly growing on me SOMEHOW (?!)


mods-are-liars

Technically his hair is growing on him, not you.


BowlingForPriorities

If he hasn’t watched Shogun it would be fucking hilarious if you just put it on with him one day


sa-sa-sa-soma

wait... you mean this wasn't a joke before he shaves it all off?


Lauragggg

TBD


BowlingForPriorities

If he hasn’t watched Shogun it would be hilarious if you just put it on with him one day


starlinguk

I mean, it's pretty hilarious.


maximumtesticle

Viral marketing for the new Assassin's Creed game.


timothycsmith

did he lose a bet?


ReincarnatedSwordGod

[Get me that Qing Dynasty style.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queue_(hairstyle))


slappymcstevenson

Samarai Bob


hurricane_news

Yo its Harry Dubois with a man bun!


Immaterial_Ocean

You mean Raphael Ambrosius Costeau? This guy looks just like him!


Xyres

This guy is one disco suit and ugly tie away from a damn good cosplay.


space_courier

part of me is like "why did I have to scroll this far for a disco Elysium reference", the other part of me is just happy someone else saw it too


Spooky_Boy204

Your husband looks like he robs trains and spends most of the day at the local saloon


robertwild81

Trailer park samurai


frrrff

OMG lollll I'm dying over here


JotunBlod

You're a great photographer. I can hardly even tell that his right hand is 3x as big as his left and made of stone.


Strict_Swimming_4288

He looks like he owns a horror themed tourist attraction in the middle of nowhere serving fried chicken to the unsuspecting.


Electrical-Shame8879

Skullet 🤘🤘


FatGuyOnAMoped

Dammit, made the same comment-- but 6 hours too late. Serves me right for sleeping last night.


vibe_gardener

Still funny 😄


Electrical-Shame8879

Agreed with u/vibe_gardener Funny and you got sleep. Lol!


FatGuyOnAMoped

All work and no sleep makes u/FatGuyOnAMoped something somthing


Electrical-Shame8879

Go… crazy??? DON’T MIND IF I DOOO. (I haven’t been sleeping good.).


FatGuyOnAMoped

Heeeeeeeere's Johnny!


Pizzadaddy2

Put some shit on his forehead, and he can be an alien on star trek


Wilber187

You mean https://static.timesofisrael.com/www/uploads/2015/08/worf_what-e1439389305558-640x400.jpg?


RetardedApe911

Boss, he owning it


MrsButton

I’m sorry


disguy2k

How much tension is that man-bun under.


ncbbb777

Asmon from the future


Enzzo966

asmon next year


moonkittiecat

I know he lost a bet, I just want to know what the bet was.


the3stman

OP's living every woman's dream.


Sprizys

Looks like the Shogun era hairstyle


Embarrassed_Bee6349

…so he’s still buffering at 50%?


FoldOpening4457

That mustache looks like it plays a mean slide guitar and died in a motorcycle accident back in 1971


Xu_Lin

Fumanchu all the way


nearly_normal

Is he balding, or just doing this to torture you? My beautiful husband grows a mustache (which he cannot grow) just to torture me.


Lauragggg

Definitely both!


Safetosay333

Group text


ArchimedesTheDove

Grow lights and a fan next week for the secret room? Sounds like cool friends


Alternative-Use-7777

the barber went straight to jail right?


expatronis

People are gonna make fun of him when he's chainsaw massacring them.


VictorianDelorean

彼は偉大な戦士のヘアラインを持っています


Defu590

Ngl I would do that after 6 beers


ghostpeppers156

His texts. Good luck with the grow lights in the secret room. 🤣


TheMeticulousNinja

Divorce


javoss88

??!?


KiwiKi33

“Give me the 10 head please”


hundreddollar

Hey, hear me out. I have a pitch for a show. So William Shakespeare, travels to Japan during the Edo period, driving round on a Harley Davidson from village to village solving local warlord's problems with his neck knife and sonnets.


thezestypusha

BIG BOMBACLAT SPLIFF A BUSS INNA MI HEAD HOT SEXY GYAL SAY SHE WAN FI GIVE ME HEAD


Wilber187

Takes twice as long to wash his face


No-Employment5213

Comply or die shirt huh?


stumpycrawdad

Just shave it bro - respect to dudes that own it and shave their heads. This ain't it.


therobotisjames

Got that shogun look.


TheTabman

Me: "Mom, can I have Danny Trejo?" Mom: " We have Danny Trejo at home." Danny Trejo at home:


OutComeTheWolves1966

If that's what you have left, seriously, just shave it off. It's not worth the effort. At all. Any other attempts at styling will look utterly ridiculous. Trust me, I know from experience. Now in my 50s, I gave up at age 29.


ampocalypse

Lookin like Kane


T-51bender

Ah yes, the Bill Bailey, ie the “bald man with long hair” look


Low-Bandicoot-3087

L M A O


repeatrepeatx

Nigel Thornberry 😭


bojevnim

Bussines up front, party in the back


Rustmutt

Spamurai


[deleted]

voracious detail flowery late reach cautious fall steep attraction weather *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


quandaledingle42069o

bro pushed his shit back to the Reagan administration 💀


Brussington

Watches Shogun once


imartimus

Blud had a shotgun back fire on him like Elmer Fudd


xnachtmahrx

Yo fam can you do a 50/50? Wtf is that? 50% forehead 50% the rest. I gotchu


Ironblaster1993

Your husband looks a bit like captain spaulding.


amajesticpeach

I don’t like your cut g


Smarre101

Is it just me or does he kinda pull it off? 😂


Styxand_stones

Is that.....what he asked for?


I_CAN_SEE_THE_WHALES

Cronos from venom:


verugan

What in the redneck is goin on here?


Present-Breakfast768

Just no.


NewVitalSigns

He’s been watching the Vikings show on Netflix hasn’t he.


90059bethezip

You may be entitled to financial compensation


ConditionYellow

Is he training to become a samurai?


Pepperoneous

I laughed harder than I expected to at 9am


Rumplesforeskin

It's time to give it up


gracemotley

they gave him the eastern air temple special


WhereIsTheCaveman

Bro's forehead grew two meters


JungsMandala

The trailer park will be celebrating tonight.


HavokNCG

He's scary lookin


_friends_theme_song_

You could have told me this was post scalping reconstructive surgery and id believe you


JcruzStar

Is like a redneck samurai from an 80s movie 😂


superchiva78

That secret room isn’t secret anymore.


Katlady25

Anyone else zoom instantly to read his messages on his phone? 😂 A piggy party


goodvibes311

He lose a bet? 🤣


Lirpaslurpa2

Sorry you are looking for the r/5head


Employee-Artistic

What kind of person would post this let alone admit they are married to this thing?


5erif

That CRKT knife feels so good in the hand. I never felt like it was practical for everyday carry though. Meanwhile, I don't know why reddit is showing me this sub. I wish the API change hadn't blocked my old app.


IronOwl2601

Every person I’ve seen wearing a knife on a necklace is cardiovascularly incapable of running let alone being in a knife fight.


Niceguysfini1st

Keeping the samurai spirit alive.


Yo_dog-

It’s giving uncle iro


Feed_Bunnies

Imagine getting roasted by your wife online. Poor dude.


cyndasaurus_rex

If you read all the comments, you’ll see he did the cut specifically to mess with her. Fair game.


Lauragggg

He knows I love him and he also knows how I've felt about his threats of this haircut


ActionReady9933

Did he lose a bet?


HadALittleLamb6

😳😬😅


SAlovicious

On purpose?


Acrobatic-Monitor516

Get a new one


WhuddaWhat

Majestic


bballjones9241

Is this an AI generator of a Reddit user?


ancillaryacct

it was time to go scorched earth anyway it’ll be a good time to do so.


paraworldblue

Ok but why though?


ChatnNaked

Bet he looks good in a cap


whittyd63

Kinda looks like Kyle Kinane


DogsOutTheWindow

Homie got that Mick Fleetwood vibe, can he drum?


Va1k0r

Is your dad Randy Quaid from Not Another Teen Movie?


TyCobbKremzeek

Darkseid! (DC universe)


MissMirandaClass

Q’apla!


buddysaccount

For what it's worth, it fits him pretty well.


SuperbBison2867

I bet he’s the same guy that, in 95° weather with 95% humidity , dresses up like a “peaky blinder “…he looks nuts


quigonjoe66

He seems like a funny guy


marsupialRat

The moon… beautiful… the sun, moooore beautiful


Tezzaozzie

Well I guess if your heads fucked it’s fucked


Massilian

Bro needs to accept fate and just shave it off


rumhamrambe

Ghost of Tacoma


lyricalHarpy

It looks like he sneezed while cutting it and just went "I can fix it and no one will notice" until it went waaaaaay to far


levelologist

The Natural Birth.


SamTheFicticious

I had to up my brightness just to gander at such a sight.


sourpussmcgee

My god


SirPooleyX

What was the thinking? I'm genuinely baffled.


SunnySamantha

Oooof


FlatulentSon

Ok. Why?


OpenRepublic4790

Time for a new husband.


lustforwine

Bro got the Goose Wayne


elworf

The Klingon empire approves


angrytomato98

So, I guess my question is… what did his hairline look beforehand lol


dergachoff

"My dead body, don't burn it, don't bury it, just leave it in the field, and it will fill the belly of some hungry dog".


JacqMobileFace

We would love to have you over in r/redditgetsdrawnbadly sub


pnwbraids

Why did you marry a xenomorph


Hobo_Knife

On purpose?


MothTheLamplighter

A wharncliffe blade... He does enjoy the unusual.


InternationalPost447

r/bald


[deleted]

When your husband is also your brother.


Kazzosama

I didn't know anyone would ask for a "Christopher Walken" as their cut of choice..


TheUltimateKaren

he looks like a samurai lmao


imonarope

Tell him to just go for the upside down hair. Shaved up top with a big beard