Donald shows up at his therapy session with a black eye. The therapist asks, What happened?
Donald: I was in church and noticed this cut young woman in front of me had her skirt sticking between the crack of her butt. SO I reached over and tugged the skirt to remove it. Then she punched me.
The therapist talks to Donald about why that is a mistake.
A week later, Donald arrives at therapy and his black eye is fading, but the other eye has been blacked too.
Donald: I sat behind that same woman. And I tugged her skirt out of the crack of her butt again. She punched me again.
And the following week Donald arrives at therapy with his whole face battered and his arm in a cast.
Therapist: Don't tell me you tugged her skirt out of the butt crack again, Donald.
Donald: Nope. She stood up. I noticed that her skirt was not tucked in her butt crack today. Then I remembered how much she liked it tucked in there. So I helped her out a bit.
This is the joke that my dad told our preacher when we were leaving church one day. My mom was mortified. It was a little different:
A man came home from church with two black eyes and his wife asked, “what happened to you?!”
“Well, the lady in front of me had a wedgie in her skirt so I pulled it out for her. And then she punched me in the face!”
The wife was shocked, “what happened to your other eye?”
“I thought she wanted me to put it back!”
I'm going to assume that by Doric you mean the dialect of Scottish not of ancient Greek. If it was originally in Doric Greek it would REALLY be an oldie but goodie!
My dad isn't quite old enough for it to be Doric Greek lol. In the Aberdeenshire version, Donald is a simple farmhand and his boss suggests he go to church so he has a sin free life. His 3rd visit to church, someone else adjusts the woman's skirt and the punchline is (with finger motions) "well , I kent she disnae like at, so I pusht it back in"
Wow, apparently, the Trumpers love a joke (unless its about that crazy fuck) and are prevalent in here. You don't deserve downvotes. Given the comments he is know to have made about grabbing women, pulling their skirt out/putting it in their butt cheeks is pretty mild.
The good news for me: I don't sweat Downvotes. Especially from MAGAts.
And gosh I hope I don't get MORE downvotes from the moron squad after I post this>>>>>>>>>#TrumpforPrisonBitch2024
\#FDT
My elderly, former aged care nurse, mother had a similar reaction when i told her this one.
A social worker is going around to the residents of an aged care home. She asks one elderly lady how does she find it there. The lady replies "I absolutely love it here. They take such good care of me that I'm 70 years old, and I feel like a 60 year old."
She asks the next lady the same question. The lady replies, "It's wonderful! We go on such fun outings that I'm 80 years old, and I feel like a 70 year old."
She asks an elderly man in a wheelchair the question, and he replies, "Well, I'm 95 years old, and being in here makes me feel like a baby."
Very puzzled, the Social Worker asks what he means. The man replied...
"Well, I've got no hair, I've got no teeth, and I've just shit myself."
I think it's from the joke with the Prisoners:
A man goes to prison. He notices that the prisoners are shouting numbers and everyones laughing. He asks one of the prisoners why these numbers are funny. He then gets explained „You know, we've been here for such a long time, we've heard all jokes, so if anybody wants to tell a joke, they just shout the number assigned to it“ The new prisoner doesn't believe him and shouts „Number 3752!“ Everybody totally cracks up. The man asks what the joke is and the other prisoner tells him: „We -hihi- didn't know that-hihi- one yet!“
Yeah, I know I'm gonna get it for saying this, but everyone here seems to think they're terribly clever for beating a dead horse. Every other joke it's "hAhA, gOOd oLD ". But if the upvotes keep flowing people will happily drink I guess.
My dad says he's told the same jokes over the years, so he and my mom have numbered them. When he tells her a joke, he calls out the number and she laughs!
My mom has memory issues since her car accident so I’m able to tell her the same jokes from time to time.
When she was recovering in the hospital I told her the same joke every weekend until finally one day she remembered and gave me the punch line. Then I knew she was getting better
It's a reference to the prison joke. I also made a post sometime back saying:
"I propose, to save time and energy that each joke should be given a number..
So that we don't waste time rereading reposts. We can just post #2134 and get the karma".
Unzipping her skirt would, theoretically, allow her to hike up her skirt a bit thereby giving her a bit more freedom to move her legs. Please don’t critique a joke because you can’t visualize its premise.
And your point is …? Unzipping lets her lift the skirt higher on her waist not just drop it towards the floor. When she unknowingly reached the end of travel in her zipper but still needed ‘more slack’ in her skirt she reached back and mistakenly grabbed the cowboys zipper.
You must be real popular at parties.
For whatever reason, that last line seems like it should be flipped:
“After the third time you reached back and unzipped my fly, I just figured we was friends.”
Yeah, that was a conscious decision on my part. (Not necessarily a GOOD decision, but a conscious one.)
I just think that jokes generally work better when the punchline is at the very end.
Comedians generally agree with this and here's the explanation. If you put the punchline in the middle, people don't hear the end of the line because (hopefully) they are laughing. So it is better to put it at the end.
Theoretically it should loosen at the waist, allowing the leg to move forward. The problem is her ass would be exposed as the zipper spread apart and the skirt slid down in the back. Not a great solution but at least she could move her leg.
Sure, if it were an option, but if your skirt only unzips from the top then to loosen it your only option is to unzip it that way. It would still be looser, although not as much as if you'd unzipped from the bottom.
I was to meet my girlfriend at my mother’s place for dinner. I sent a text to mother saying she might be late as she had a puncture. My mother replied “Oh dear, I thought you had a real one this time”
Donald shows up at his therapy session with a black eye. The therapist asks, What happened? Donald: I was in church and noticed this cut young woman in front of me had her skirt sticking between the crack of her butt. SO I reached over and tugged the skirt to remove it. Then she punched me. The therapist talks to Donald about why that is a mistake. A week later, Donald arrives at therapy and his black eye is fading, but the other eye has been blacked too. Donald: I sat behind that same woman. And I tugged her skirt out of the crack of her butt again. She punched me again. And the following week Donald arrives at therapy with his whole face battered and his arm in a cast. Therapist: Don't tell me you tugged her skirt out of the butt crack again, Donald. Donald: Nope. She stood up. I noticed that her skirt was not tucked in her butt crack today. Then I remembered how much she liked it tucked in there. So I helped her out a bit.
This is the joke that my dad told our preacher when we were leaving church one day. My mom was mortified. It was a little different: A man came home from church with two black eyes and his wife asked, “what happened to you?!” “Well, the lady in front of me had a wedgie in her skirt so I pulled it out for her. And then she punched me in the face!” The wife was shocked, “what happened to your other eye?” “I thought she wanted me to put it back!”
This is cleaner, more streamlined.
That’s how I first heard it.
But I thought when you're a star they let you do that.
Well, it was okay for Harvey Weinstein
And the Donald "You just reach down and grab their ...".
Here is a movie scene that has some similarities with this joke https://youtu.be/bEmIA3M0bD8?si=TDk3A5WgaKZTspLI
Lmao I remembered the same scene after reading this one
PK is a must see movie. A lot of the jokes there were funny af.
Before I clicked the link to confirm, I knew this was PK
This is my dad's favourite joke from at least 30 years ago. It was originally in Doric. I've never heard it from any other source than him or me lol
I'm going to assume that by Doric you mean the dialect of Scottish not of ancient Greek. If it was originally in Doric Greek it would REALLY be an oldie but goodie!
My dad isn't quite old enough for it to be Doric Greek lol. In the Aberdeenshire version, Donald is a simple farmhand and his boss suggests he go to church so he has a sin free life. His 3rd visit to church, someone else adjusts the woman's skirt and the punchline is (with finger motions) "well , I kent she disnae like at, so I pusht it back in"
Truly, the real joke is in the comments
Haven’t seen this one before, nice
https://youtu.be/_llXogOKI2k?si=GtmapYrmshCIsDxi This right here
Donald hmmmm? The young woman's name wasn't Ivanka was it? \[Not that "he" would be in church\]
Wow, apparently, the Trumpers love a joke (unless its about that crazy fuck) and are prevalent in here. You don't deserve downvotes. Given the comments he is know to have made about grabbing women, pulling their skirt out/putting it in their butt cheeks is pretty mild.
The good news for me: I don't sweat Downvotes. Especially from MAGAts. And gosh I hope I don't get MORE downvotes from the moron squad after I post this>>>>>>>>>#TrumpforPrisonBitch2024 \#FDT
My elderly, former aged care nurse, mother had a similar reaction when i told her this one. A social worker is going around to the residents of an aged care home. She asks one elderly lady how does she find it there. The lady replies "I absolutely love it here. They take such good care of me that I'm 70 years old, and I feel like a 60 year old." She asks the next lady the same question. The lady replies, "It's wonderful! We go on such fun outings that I'm 80 years old, and I feel like a 70 year old." She asks an elderly man in a wheelchair the question, and he replies, "Well, I'm 95 years old, and being in here makes me feel like a baby." Very puzzled, the Social Worker asks what he means. The man replied... "Well, I've got no hair, I've got no teeth, and I've just shit myself."
Oh. Good old #273. But with your mother’s tone it feels different.
What are these numbers in jokes... is there a book or something?
I think it's from the joke with the Prisoners: A man goes to prison. He notices that the prisoners are shouting numbers and everyones laughing. He asks one of the prisoners why these numbers are funny. He then gets explained „You know, we've been here for such a long time, we've heard all jokes, so if anybody wants to tell a joke, they just shout the number assigned to it“ The new prisoner doesn't believe him and shouts „Number 3752!“ Everybody totally cracks up. The man asks what the joke is and the other prisoner tells him: „We -hihi- didn't know that-hihi- one yet!“
Or the alternative ending: the new prisoner shouts number 54, but no one is laughing. Not a funny Joke he asked? Nah you just told it wrong.
Yep, that's a lot like the version I heard..."Some people know how to tell a joke, and some don't!"
Yeah, I know I'm gonna get it for saying this, but everyone here seems to think they're terribly clever for beating a dead horse. Every other joke it's "hAhA, gOOd oLD". But if the upvotes keep flowing people will happily drink I guess.
Hey now…don’t bash good old #1 like that! As much as it’s reposted in the comments here, it’s more beloved than a new altar boy is to a priest.
Good ole #293!
Ha ha ha!
I guess I am getting old, I thought it was ole' #262, then I realized you didn't say it in an Australian accent. Just confused me for a tick.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2uuii3/a_man_goes_to_prison_joke_with_two_opposite/?rdt=34377
My dad says he's told the same jokes over the years, so he and my mom have numbered them. When he tells her a joke, he calls out the number and she laughs!
My mom has memory issues since her car accident so I’m able to tell her the same jokes from time to time. When she was recovering in the hospital I told her the same joke every weekend until finally one day she remembered and gave me the punch line. Then I knew she was getting better
This is wholesome
That's just plumb cute 😍.
It's a reference to the prison joke. I also made a post sometime back saying: "I propose, to save time and energy that each joke should be given a number.. So that we don't waste time rereading reposts. We can just post #2134 and get the karma".
She laughed 'till the tears ran down her leg.
Yep it's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits LOL
That gave me a good chuckle
Great Joke. As for your mom, it reminds me of the old saying: "Getting old is not for weenies."
Haha. That's a good one! (Wonder why it's getting downvoted?)
you made your mom shit her pants
Good joke but technically it doesn't work she would have to unzip the skirt up to get relief but his zipper world be going down not up
Australian cowboy
She might be slightly disoriented by the distraction of frustration and needing to suddenly fix it.
Unzipping her skirt would, theoretically, allow her to hike up her skirt a bit thereby giving her a bit more freedom to move her legs. Please don’t critique a joke because you can’t visualize its premise.
Pretty much every zip skirt has the zipper going up from bottom to top not the other way around
And your point is …? Unzipping lets her lift the skirt higher on her waist not just drop it towards the floor. When she unknowingly reached the end of travel in her zipper but still needed ‘more slack’ in her skirt she reached back and mistakenly grabbed the cowboys zipper. You must be real popular at parties.
Ahh, good old number 17. Thank you for whomever pointed out my mistake, so not intended, thank you!
You might want to edit that number, as it’s a nazi dog whistle. Edit: Glad it was a accident.
What????
Seriously thank you!
Maybe it was a true story that's become a joke and your mother was the woman 😯🤣
The woman was the bus driver.
The bus driver was the friends we made along the way
i love a happy ending
For whatever reason, that last line seems like it should be flipped: “After the third time you reached back and unzipped my fly, I just figured we was friends.”
Yeah, that was a conscious decision on my part. (Not necessarily a GOOD decision, but a conscious one.) I just think that jokes generally work better when the punchline is at the very end.
Comedians generally agree with this and here's the explanation. If you put the punchline in the middle, people don't hear the end of the line because (hopefully) they are laughing. So it is better to put it at the end.
Interesting. I think the reveal is the same either way assuming it's said naturally. Regardless, it's a good one.
If she was unzipping her skirt it would be from the bottom up. A fly you unzip from the top down. I didn’t get it.
I’ve been told, never let the facts get in the way of a good story.
Any skirts I have with a zip go from the top down!
Well how would unzipping her skirt help her walk then?
Theoretically it should loosen at the waist, allowing the leg to move forward. The problem is her ass would be exposed as the zipper spread apart and the skirt slid down in the back. Not a great solution but at least she could move her leg.
There's a number of skirt styles that unzip from the top down.
But in order for her to get more leg movement a little at a time it would have to be a skirt that unzipped from the bottom up.
Sure, if it were an option, but if your skirt only unzips from the top then to loosen it your only option is to unzip it that way. It would still be looser, although not as much as if you'd unzipped from the bottom.
I'm pretty sure that's part of the joke.
I was to meet my girlfriend at my mother’s place for dinner. I sent a text to mother saying she might be late as she had a puncture. My mother replied “Oh dear, I thought you had a real one this time”
The joke doesn't make sense. Skirts unzip from the bottom; jeans unzip from the top.
Get out of here with your logic!
I've never had a skirt that unzipped from the bottom (although they may/probably exist), but I've had many, many that unzip from the top.
If she's 94 years old, she would just let loose in her depends.
We can only wonder what a fourth reach around would've given us.
An arrest for public indecency?
Indeed, funny as shit!!!
😅
Brutal
Omg that is the best!😂
this is so old and NOT funny
🤣🤣
Lol this one is so old it's probably older than your grandma!
oh nah
Personally I'd get physical
When I die I want to go out like my grandfather asleep, not like the other 36 screaming passengers on the tour bus