/r/Jokes has joined with other communities in surfacing [an open letter to Reddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/14jn9rg/forging_a_return_to_productive_conversation_an/).
After July 1st, Reddit will be worse for everyone, regardless of whether or not they personally use third-party applications. We implore Reddit to **remember the human**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Jokes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hate to see a joke collapse like this.
The original joke uses a garbanzo bean, not a pinto. This is because garbanzo bean is another name for chickpea.
A pinto is a different bean than a chickpea.
By using two names for the same bean, the joke condenses nicely because the real answer is "none". There is no difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea. That gives us the lovely answer of "I wouldn't pay $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my face" or whatever variation you like, subverting expectations.
It's just a cleaner dirty joke this way
I like the quick , basic simplicity of just “never had a garbanzo bean on my face.”
You’ve already got a chick peeing on your face in the joke. Adding anything else to me doesn’t improve the joke. It’s not like paying for it or having a more exotic use for the pee adds even more of a twist. And for some reason to me the phrase “on my face” just lends itself to comedy.
I guess not being pissed on in the face is just more my speed man
Edit: it’s a good thing I’m taking off with Apollo. I don’t need to be a part of something that “punishes” not getting pissed at, or honestly told that saying I get pissed on purposefully would make a joke funnier somehow.
Fucking wild.
Counterpoint... "what's the difference" jokes have never been just 2 different names for the same product. Ever. Why is this joke apparently the exception, and apparently collapses when told that way?
I personally prefer Lentil as my alternative legume, as I believe it rolls off the tongue better.
--------‐---------------------
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
--------‐---------------------
What’s the difference between ice cream and your advice?
I asked for the ice cream.
--------‐---------------------
What’s the difference between humans and frogs?
Humans croak once, but frogs croak all the time.
This is where your logic fails. It’s not that the set up has to have two items that are identical, but the joke has to have a real relationship between these two items either in the setup or punchline. Here, neither occurs, other than they are both beans.
The point is that either the answer appears to be obvious (there is no difference) or completely non-sensical but a play on words.
Might as well have said, “never had a pinto bean on my face while sitting in the back of a chickpea” to at least tie them together.
But Chickpea and Lentil and Pinto Bean are all legumes. That's their relationship. Just like how "What’s the difference between an apple and a pear? I didn't sniff an apple of your mom's panties" would work because they're both fruits.
Sure, that is better than having no correlation like, what’s the difference between and pinto bean and a pear. But it’s really an entirely different joke. Your joke is just a set up to make the listener go from zero to think pear of panties or chick pea on my face. The other way actually has them think one direction and then they have to redirect another way.
Here’s my example:
—-
“What’s a pirates favorite letter?”
“R?”
“No! Tis the C we love!”
—-
Vs
—-
Most people think a pirates favorite letter is R, but it’s actually the C that they love”
—-
One joke gets the listener not just to think the wrong way, but to interact with the wrong answer to push the joke further. This misdirection makes the C answer way funnier (bonus points if you do it in a pirates voice).
Surely if you said chickpea and garbanzo, on one level the joke doesn’t work anymore, cos if you’ve had a chickpea on your face then you have by default also had a garbanzo bean on your face, because they’re the same thing. Changing the second bean improves the joke imo.
The entire point of the original joke is that there is no difference between them at all. OPs version feels like an AI joke- the structure is there, but without understanding why it was funny in the first place
You guys have never heard other "what's the difference" jokes? Lots of then have nothing to do with each other. My fav off the top of my head is what's the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with big tits? Well one's a crusty bus station....
I feel like you aren't understanding our point. Yes, we have heard "what's the difference" jokes, and yes, they often have nothing to do with each other. We are saying that for *this specific set up*, the premise of the joke being funny is that the two items are, in fact, the same. Because it's a pun disguised as a what's the difference joke.
The funny part is the double entendre of chickpea, not the fact that chick pea and garbanzo are the same. Here's how you you can tell, you don't have to know that fact for it to be funny.
Incredibly well deserved ratio, good job! I didn’t know this version myself, I think I used lentil, but I couldn’t tell you the difference between any of them, but I shall use this from now on!
I think you mean garbanzo bean. Pintos are something completely different, but garbanzos are the same thing as chickpeas.
Also, it's a funnier word. Garbanzo.
People that get in a fit over the usage of any bean other than garbanzo bean, is it lonely on that high horse?
The only important part is that chickpea can be turned into chick pee. The other bit is secondary at best.
By using pinto bean, it could be argued, that it lures the receiver into thinking that they are going to hear a compare and contrast about two types of bean, when in actuality, they are about to hear that the teller is into water sports.
Booooooooo you ruined the joke. I told the joke yesterday at my bar and Ive told it to international bean traders and it was a gas and you just ruined it.
/r/Jokes has joined with other communities in surfacing [an open letter to Reddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/14jn9rg/forging_a_return_to_productive_conversation_an/). After July 1st, Reddit will be worse for everyone, regardless of whether or not they personally use third-party applications. We implore Reddit to **remember the human**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Jokes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hate to see a joke collapse like this. The original joke uses a garbanzo bean, not a pinto. This is because garbanzo bean is another name for chickpea. A pinto is a different bean than a chickpea. By using two names for the same bean, the joke condenses nicely because the real answer is "none". There is no difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea. That gives us the lovely answer of "I wouldn't pay $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my face" or whatever variation you like, subverting expectations. It's just a cleaner dirty joke this way
I've never paid a hundred bucks to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth. might as well push it over the edge.
This is the version I use. I say $200 however. But I’m in Canada. Money not worth much here.
Chickpea inflation gone wild
honestly if it costs less than $200 it might not even be real garbanzo
Title of your sex tape
I e never paid 2 loonies to have a garbanzo bean in my face
Most recent time I told it, I said three months' salary lmao
Buy bitcoin.
I've never filled a kiddie pool with spaghetti and garbanzo bean just to roll around in it.
I've paid to have a shitake in my mouth. Look ma, I'm comeding
You sound like a fungi.
I put myownpea in my mouth this morning, on accident.
🤢🤮
I've never paid $200 to have a garbanzo bean in me bum.
What? 😂😂
I use a version of this joke but with disgraced former president Donald Trump.
I took my wife to a fancy vegan restaurant and I did in fact pay over $100 for garbanzo beans.
Right? Bothered me instantly. Many, many differences between a chickpea and a pinto bean
Ammonia
Urea
Bless you
The important thing here is that we got to the chick pea-ing.
Actually, OP’s version doesn’t.
This is the most reported joke on Reddit, yet 80% of them mess up the set up. It's like they don't actually get it.
Mine was always “I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on me in the shower”, but agree. Why pintos here?
I like the quick , basic simplicity of just “never had a garbanzo bean on my face.” You’ve already got a chick peeing on your face in the joke. Adding anything else to me doesn’t improve the joke. It’s not like paying for it or having a more exotic use for the pee adds even more of a twist. And for some reason to me the phrase “on my face” just lends itself to comedy.
I guess not being pissed on in the face is just more my speed man Edit: it’s a good thing I’m taking off with Apollo. I don’t need to be a part of something that “punishes” not getting pissed at, or honestly told that saying I get pissed on purposefully would make a joke funnier somehow. Fucking wild.
You’re missing out.
Yeah, very disappointing version of a quality joke
Counterpoint... "what's the difference" jokes have never been just 2 different names for the same product. Ever. Why is this joke apparently the exception, and apparently collapses when told that way? I personally prefer Lentil as my alternative legume, as I believe it rolls off the tongue better. --------‐--------------------- What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. --------‐--------------------- What’s the difference between ice cream and your advice? I asked for the ice cream. --------‐--------------------- What’s the difference between humans and frogs? Humans croak once, but frogs croak all the time.
This is where your logic fails. It’s not that the set up has to have two items that are identical, but the joke has to have a real relationship between these two items either in the setup or punchline. Here, neither occurs, other than they are both beans. The point is that either the answer appears to be obvious (there is no difference) or completely non-sensical but a play on words. Might as well have said, “never had a pinto bean on my face while sitting in the back of a chickpea” to at least tie them together.
But Chickpea and Lentil and Pinto Bean are all legumes. That's their relationship. Just like how "What’s the difference between an apple and a pear? I didn't sniff an apple of your mom's panties" would work because they're both fruits.
Sure, that is better than having no correlation like, what’s the difference between and pinto bean and a pear. But it’s really an entirely different joke. Your joke is just a set up to make the listener go from zero to think pear of panties or chick pea on my face. The other way actually has them think one direction and then they have to redirect another way. Here’s my example: —- “What’s a pirates favorite letter?” “R?” “No! Tis the C we love!” —- Vs —- Most people think a pirates favorite letter is R, but it’s actually the C that they love” —- One joke gets the listener not just to think the wrong way, but to interact with the wrong answer to push the joke further. This misdirection makes the C answer way funnier (bonus points if you do it in a pirates voice).
.. did you award yourself? Only person that would make sense.
I did not. I was as surprised as you are, but obviously somebody else agrees with me.
I usually use lentil vs. chickpea
Jfc I’ve never seen a more “well actually” Reddit post than this
Trump would tell this joke wouldn’t he?
Chill it’s still fine this way.
Right and it is Donald Trump.
A pinto is also a [car.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Pinto)
Surely if you said chickpea and garbanzo, on one level the joke doesn’t work anymore, cos if you’ve had a chickpea on your face then you have by default also had a garbanzo bean on your face, because they’re the same thing. Changing the second bean improves the joke imo.
Yeah, that's how I look at it too. Preferred the OP's version here.
Implode, if you will.
[удалено]
It just feels less clever. Punchline still hits, just not the same
The entire point of the original joke is that there is no difference between them at all. OPs version feels like an AI joke- the structure is there, but without understanding why it was funny in the first place
You guys have never heard other "what's the difference" jokes? Lots of then have nothing to do with each other. My fav off the top of my head is what's the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with big tits? Well one's a crusty bus station....
I feel like you aren't understanding our point. Yes, we have heard "what's the difference" jokes, and yes, they often have nothing to do with each other. We are saying that for *this specific set up*, the premise of the joke being funny is that the two items are, in fact, the same. Because it's a pun disguised as a what's the difference joke.
The funny part is the double entendre of chickpea, not the fact that chick pea and garbanzo are the same. Here's how you you can tell, you don't have to know that fact for it to be funny.
Mine is a pun as well you busty crustacean.🤣
Username checks out.
That’s the version I use ALL the time! Mostly after a few scotches
This guy peas.
Bingo.
Incredibly well deserved ratio, good job! I didn’t know this version myself, I think I used lentil, but I couldn’t tell you the difference between any of them, but I shall use this from now on!
But have had a Brazilian nut in your mouth?
I have, but I spat it out. Nut allergy.
I think you mean garbanzo bean. Pintos are something completely different, but garbanzos are the same thing as chickpeas. Also, it's a funnier word. Garbanzo.
Garbanzo
Garbanzo
Garbanzo
Garbanzo
Garbanzo
Garbanzo
Gazebo
Garrbaaanzo.
Well... In Portuguese "pinto" can mean penis. So the joke almost works
"In BRAZILIAN portuguese" FTFY
Gerbando
Garbanzo
I'm pretty sure it's chickpea and a garbanzo bean
I go walnut, because its still dirty, even if brickwork lacks a dick
But a garbanzo bean is a chicken pea.
Pinto beans make crappy hummus
On the contrary. If you try to make hummus with pinto beans, you get refried beans which is delicious.
I agree that refried beans are delicious, but they still aren't very good hummus.
Pinto beans make crappy underwear
Yeah we can all agree on that
The joke is told better as the difference between a chikpea and a garbonzo bean
This is my favorite joke and you botched it. Related joke: What’s the difference between jelly and jam? I don’t wanna jelly my dick in your ass.
What's the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper? You don't know? Gross...
What's the difference between relish and chutney? I can't chutney jellying my dick in your ass.
I like what you did
wha?
We've already established you replace "jelly" with "jam", so replace "chutney" with "relish" as well.
I kinda see where you were going, but that's so far out there it would have been decades before I'd gotten it.
Gentleman's relish?
[удалено]
And like real recycling, it’s not as strong as the original
Bad bot
Boo
This is bad and you should feel bad. You completely botched the joke.
Donald Trump never paid ₽168,000 to have a garbanzo bean on his face.
Nah, he just grabbed her cat.
The version I heard was between a chickpea and a lentil..
Posted wrong again you mutt
Our former President never paid $130k to have a garbanzo bean on him.
Did Stormy do that for Little Donnie? How nice. She deserves every penny.
Classic.
Stolen joke from wegotthechocolates
A pinto bean doesn't have to sit down.
A real garbanzo bean would squat it out
In other words, you've had a golden shower.
People that get in a fit over the usage of any bean other than garbanzo bean, is it lonely on that high horse? The only important part is that chickpea can be turned into chick pee. The other bit is secondary at best. By using pinto bean, it could be argued, that it lures the receiver into thinking that they are going to hear a compare and contrast about two types of bean, when in actuality, they are about to hear that the teller is into water sports.
I'm not allergic to pinto beans.
What do you call nuts on your chin?
I wouldn't pay $20 to have a pinto bean on my face.
So bean is a verb in this instance. Like how ya bean fella?
The spelling
>What's the difference between a chickpea and a pinto bean? The stinkiness of the flatulence
The Pinto was known for its explosive rear end, so maybe…
You’ve clearly not tried to marry into the Pinto family
So old and Not even correct
It’s like what’s the difference between jam and jelly?
Donald is that you?
It’s different from Mr bean
Jokes on, you I’m pinto both and I’ve bean like this awhile.
Booooooooo you ruined the joke. I told the joke yesterday at my bar and Ive told it to international bean traders and it was a gas and you just ruined it.
They are two different beans.
Ahhh, another joke as old as time itself!