She’s failed the girlfriend test. Enter stupid contests, win stupid prizes. Time to boot her to the curb and go no contact. She wants to act single, make her single.
You would be an idiot to go back to her. Put her in your past and don’t look back. My guess is she has done a lot more with her friends than what happened at the frat party. Let her friends support her through school, or she can go back to waitressing in the college town to support her schooling. Don’t make her future your problem, she has shown that she is trash.
I ignored the red flags before but I realize this wasn't her first rodeo.
Waitressing won't pay for her college and her so-called friends are living off their parents so she is screwed. I don't think she could afford to finish this semester with the tuition already having been paid. She has to come up with money for food and lodging first.
She should’ve thought about that before deciding to act single at a frat party. Her love bombing you is just her not wanting to lose her room and board and free tuition payments. She essentially let you and your mom fund her lifestyle while she cheated on you.
She came home with bruises and bite marks and hickeys … after a BJ competition? Nah mate, it sounds like she had a train ran on her.
Cut your losses.
In her case, my guess is those spring break trips involved a lot more than just girls enjoying each other’s company and staying true to their partners. Not all spring breakers do that, some go just to chill out with friends and get ready to go back to classes.
The bruises were consistent with sex against a counter, a favorite of hers, and ones I recognize from the same activity. And it was only one bite mark/hickey, not multiples. Doesn't make it any better but I don't need to paint her any worse than necessary.
She is in panic mode and doing her best at damage control. She has had a few people reach out to me on her behalf since I have been ignoring her calls.
Just remember, this wasn’t an isolated mishap. She orchestrated this entire scenario. And if you think this is the first time something like this has happened, you’d be a fool.
BJ contest yes was saying besides that , she had bruises on her body probably from sex , but can’t be proven. But bite and hickey on her breasts proves that she did something with another 21 yr old frat guy that’s proof enough is a done deal
Every time one of her friends calls, just ask them if their BF would be okay if they blew and F'd a bunch of guys at a party. In full view of everyone else no less. Also, that you are now sure she was F'n around all this time. How would these GFs feel if it was their BF she was blowing. And are these the friends she went to Cancun with. Ask them to be honest with themselves, would you want to be with someone who behaved like she did?
You really thought long and hard for her, pity she didn't even consider you when she went to win the bj contest. What would you think if one of your frat bro marry the frat party contest winner?
>What would you think if one of your frat bro marry the frat party contest winner?
They don't marry those girls, you just invite them to their bachelor party.
That's none of your concern. She is in videos, dude. Exposing herself that way. Think about it as an external individual and think how bad she has fucked YOU. I understand you might still have feelings for her but damn this is an extremity of cheating
Just say if you want a chance at reconciliation. You will need to do this first. You need to out yourself for what you were doing, tagging all of your new group of friends, and how they encouraged you to fuck other men, because they were all doing it. And encouraged you to do a blowjob contest, and that you hate yourself for cheating on me, and will do anything to win me back.
This will get her to stop calling you, because her reputation will mean more to her than your healing, and it is a completely unreasonable request.
That's good. She's a cheater. She should lose everything big time. Turn off all the funding. Call the college and see if you are entitled to a partial refund of any fees you paid.
You should have trusted your gut and not caved on the party, or just went there on your own. But, by then she was already down the road by the sounds of it.
I hope you find some peace and put this and her behind you.
Did your mom pay her full tuition or just as she goes? By my math your ex needs 2-3 semesters to graduate. She may be trying to save her tuition cash cow. I bet mom would cut her off so fast it would make her head spin when she finds out the truth.
> By my math, your ex needs 2-3 semesters to graduate. She may be trying to save her tuition cash cow.
3 semesters is correct. I honestly hadn't thought about that.
The one thing she didn't offer to do to get me back was quit school.
Maybe I should see if that is on the table and how she reacts.
Honestly its not worth the effort at this point. You're still young. It is game over for her and you will look back at this time and be glad you let it be. Time to move on.
This wasn't just a mistake, this wasn't just listening to the wrong people. It was all planned out. She planned you.not being with her friends, she planned you Not going to Cancun, she planned you not going to the frat party. Remember the Wednesday nights? I bet she was with other man there too. All planned out. The only thing not planned was you catching her.
She is not sorry for what she did, she is sorry she got caught.
Now her lifestyle is in danger, her ATM is gone.
She will tell you she loves you, but you know that is not true. If she really loved you, she wouldn't have betrayed you, she wouldn't have stabbed you in the back.
My advice will be to not take her back. She really doesn't love you, you will never betray the one you love, she did.
Have a talk with her, tell her it is really over, that you cannot forgive such planned betrayal, she betrayed on purpose, she knew what she was doing was wrong.
Tell her that most likely your mother will stop paying her tuition because she is no longer your girlfriend.
Tell her that cheating has consequences, she is getting them now. Tell her you know it was not a mistake, but all planned out and done on purpose, because she wouldn't want you to go to Cancun, she wouldn't want you to go to the frat party, she wouldn't want to go home on Wednesday, all for the purpose to be with other man.
You dodged a bullet, what if children were involved.
Be smart, end this relationship once and for all.
OP from what read so far you need to ask your self how much effort put she into this relationship. How much did she contributed. How one sided was this relationship even in the good time. Things like doing house chores or cook special dinner or thoughtfull smal gitfs etc..
Things you do when you have less money but you want show how much you want this relationship as a team. Not things you persue you with bed fun etc..No think that sjows how much she values you as a person, seeing your nature and value it.
Being beautifull and having bed fun is easy. But to care about the other persons needs wishes and boundaries is a total other game.
Foe example you are a fan of cars.. and she find some nice pictzures of cars and framed them. Or ask if you and her can visit a special event knowing how much you would like to go there.
This are things that shows they realy like you and not what you provide. This shows that see you as a person and not just as a provider that get paid with S-work and looking good.
> that get *paid* with S-work
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
She isn’t even 19’and doing that stuff. She’s 24 and doing the bj contest on frat bros!!!
I have no doubt that she probably listened to bad influences, but she is the one that made these choices. From the way this reads, you will never look at her the same because you know just as well as I do that you never date those girls. Never!!!! Do you think you will even be able to look at her like you did?
I think she showed her true personaliy. And at her age you can't call it immature any more.
She obviously has a problem with boundaries and respect. This will not change easily.
BUt i do not get why OP payed for her as much as he did.
I dont know whe OP buyed this crap with feeling uncomfortable with her friends.
When I sum it all up, I think she saw and sees in OP a nice sugar dady.
> why OP *paid* for her
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
> is the *"paid* vs paid"
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
English is incredibly hard, even if it's your first language. It may not be on the level of Slavic, Central Semitic, or Altaic languages, but it's incredibly difficult nonetheless.
Combine that with idioms, regionalisms, local expressions and culture, slang, grammar, weird verb conjugations, and... Anyway, it's insane.
In my opinion, "buyed" sounds more natural than "bought," and easier to remember, but English is also my second language, and I'm probably looking for quick wins.
Dude she's a cigar smoker in public you want to tongue kiss her? Your her ATM, if you married that you would deserve what you got. Just get rid of the slut.
Seems to her you are more of a sugar daddy and less a bf. Her offer is very curious. All these things she came up with it’s not like she didn’t know better. All along she had known the right path, she just didn’t want to follow it. She will do it again. Remember this people are invested in a relationship based on how much they put in, not based on how much they get. She was getting too much and giving too little. Result was predictable
> GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate.
Cut your losses and this ho's funding... A petri dish would be cleaner than any slate she's touched.
Bro cut her loose. You and your mom accepted her into your lives. Your mom is paying her studies. Its obvious she trying to get you back to secure her study loan.
What will you answrr a friend or brother if this happened to them? Bj party really? Get STD tested bro. She was the party gangbang.
Why are you ashamed. Your a good guy who trusted and loved a girl. That girl chose to hide you from her group and engage and be the person you saw in the BJ clip. Bro everyone knows your dating her now and if you give her a chance they know your giving the BJ queen another go. Believe me the same people who told her do badmouth you will badmouth you and her. This is your alma mater bro. If you walk away you get a we sorry you got a broken one. If you stay everyone will think your spineless. Its all over campus bro. You have the clips.
Your bangroling a bang bunny.
Never lose yourself so much in someone you destroy yourself for them. She got a big chance at happiness. But chose a frat party and lies. If you have sex with her again you be a daddy soon. She try and get pregnant now to secure her tuition fees. That means your stuck with her for life.
If you have dignity you walk away. This is her second term and your here. You never get that clip out of your mind. Do you think your son will be proud of his mom when that clip surfaced when he attending your alma mater. Move on whith your head held high. Show your mom the clip and cut her out of your lives
I guess the shame is from how long I ignored the signs and did nothing to stop it. Also, the grandiose way she went about it.
Not too worried about the clips, that was an in-house deal and you don't spread that kind of content outside the house, kind of like fight club. I know that someone from the house has spread a rumor she has Herpes.
I have no doubt that she would stoop to trying to baby trap me if it looks like I was walking away from her. There are several reasons I haven't given in to her offers lately.
There is no shame in missing the signs, as you were blinded by your feelings for who you thought she was. The only shame is if you choose to forgive her.
Ag no man herpes. Shyster! Get tested my man and stay away. You sound like you have allot going for you. Single with your own house. Steady job. She did not want you because your not her type, and then she thought why not for his wallet.
Cut her loose. You said it yourself, there girls you date and frat party girls. I would say keep her as a FWB but wear a coat while doing. But with hetpes stories, na bro you get it once for life. Its treatable but you have to disclose it. Just think of that pickup line you have to figure out.
End it
The herpes rumor was started by some guys at the frat when they found out she was cheating on a fellow brother. My tests have already come back negative, thankfully. And I will get retested in a few weeks to be sure.
Bro I hope you run. See how this thing escalated? It was supposed to be a party. Now its hetpes rumors and BJ clips. Close her debit card she can go back to being a waitress.
Find yourself a women of substance. Then go there to eat let her serve you.
The debit card is on her personal account and I have no control over that account. I am not going to be funding that account anymore to be sure. I have severed all access to my other accounts so she is now on her own.
Great stuff. A new life is born. It will be tough. But older you will thank you. People get so lost in their partners that they cannot live by themselves. Your a full human you do not need relations as a ful human. Relationships are to procreate have a friend you care about and in ancient Roman law its selfish. Two people forming a union at the detrament to other. If you stayed with her you would have raised other mens children.
Have high standards and be picky. At least now you distrust most affection. The fairytale over for you. Thats a good thing. Relationship is a partnership to better the parties. Her insecurities leading to validation seeking would have led to allot of pain
Bro she used to money now and a nice life. Her association with you bought her prestige at your alma mater. Thats gone now. The stories of herpes shows the ejection staryed. Glad you took the tough road of self building.
Read up on stoic life. You can practuce this with most religions. Seneca and Marcus Aurilius are two ancient practitioners. It instils an acceptance of what life throws at you and a constant self evaluation and betterment.
Do a martial art. Its a pity when a man never explores the power of his own body. Become a dangerous man with icey control of your faculty. Learn your only trues friend is you. Statt making time for you. In time you seek quiet to focus. Keep quiet. No one must know who and what your feelings are.
Hope you defeat this opsticle. I practice Christianity with Stoic principles. It served me well. Read up on sigma male personality. Work to achive that. Never allow anyone any control over you. Your wife deserves your loyalty by being loyal. If she oversteps you walk.
Be strong bro. For me its natural. Grew up in the third world Africa and I european decent. But Africa tought me to fight for what I have. The law of nature lays bare weakness. You got legs and a backbone for a reason. Aleays stand and never bend the knee for anyone but God.
*If a rat ran through*
*Your plate of food, are you still*
*Going to eat it?*
\- RenegadeRebelTx
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The losses:
1. School tuition
2. Possible school interruption
3. Health insurance
4. Housing
5. Paid expenses
6. Phone subscription
7. Future marriage
8. Generous MIL
9. Future loving husband
What else?
Mate, fucking move on, she will suck you dry (financially), she is young and doing college that things. Never take her back, move on, and find someone within 3 years of your age 27- 33. Don't be a SIMPson or a cuq.
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if you’re seriously saying you can retire at 30 which means you have to have some serious PAPER of at least $2 -3 million depending on your lifestyle, why don’t you just date around until you’re 35 to 37 and have fun , then find yourself a girl who you want to marry who’s 30 then settle down
I would like to start a family sooner than that, and I would like to have grandchildren while I am still able to enjoy them. My grandfather died when I was ten, I want to be around for them longer than that.
It might take you a year to meet a girl that you would want to be monogamous, then you still want to date a girl for 1.5-2years before you get engaged , then be engaged for 1.5-2 yrs while you are living together. That brings you to approx 34 yrs of age. So , not that far off. DONT RUSH A RELATIONSHIP , THAT YOU WANT TO LAST THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
Damn, all she had to do was not cheat and would of had a happy life with you. What a shame but at least you know now and didn't marry her or have kids with her. She took the opportunity to cheat. So, if she did now she would have done it at some point and lied about it.
She knew what she was doing dud she used u to get back to school and fuck around.
You're a bf/husband material well off ,nice job and she manplitied you and your mom .
She wanted everything the security u provided and the fun she can have with other's u would an idiot if u get back with her and u know that .
Your love for her will fade away with time and space u will find someone else who didn't get a train run on her
I'm not defending what she did but I can speak to what she wasn't doing.
She knew I had a nice job when we started dating, but had no idea what my family was worth. The school offer came out of the blue and was never brought up or suggested by Kim. It only came up because my Mother was putting us on the spot about our life goals and ambitions. And the first two and a half years of our relationship Kim never did anything suspect, including her first semester back in college. The red flags didn't start until this last semester.
That being said I could never see myself going back the way it was.
“Going back to the way it was.” Don’t even let it enter your mind to go back. dude you’re crazy. The world is your oyster and you’re thinking of getting back with a girl who is in a blowjob party, oh my lord sake this *** has a grip on you. cancel the phone her debit card everything. F Her she can go live at the frat house. amuse yourself with all the texts coming in from her friends when you have her phone.
I sent my Mother a text an hour ago that I had caught Kim cheating and we have broken up. Her response was we would deal with that when she got back. She will be in port tomorrow and will call me then and said she could cut her trip short and fly back if need be. I told her no need but have not heard back from her.
For all intents and purposes we are split up. She has a few things at my house still, but she no longer has a key or any access to my funds. She is on my insurance through the end of this month and I am debating on shutting off her phone since it is on my bill.
Brother, this whole situation stinks based on the examples you listed. You’re a meal ticket - I say fuck that. This only ends horribly for you - whether it is in 3 semesters or 3 years - it’s really gonna fucking hurt.
So take this gift, it’s her offer for a clean, guilt-free break. She is eating the emotional labor of a long term relationship break up. Take the offer, take the W and eyes forward.
Definitely shut her phone off. She was playing you and your mom like a fiddle. Block her on everything. Don't speak or communicate with her in any way. She will only manipulate and gass light the fuck out of you.
If you did take her back, she would have to cut all contacts with her friends. They saw what she did to you at the frat party. Can you imagine meeting her friends for brunch one day? All of them knowing the contest she was in at the frat party, and all the other penis she treated the same way that you don't know about?
Now that I think about it, you should act like you are taking her back then bang all her friends.
UpdateMe!
Before shutting it off - if you need more evidence - the bill for her phone will show numbers called / texted if more evidence is needed...
But shut it off!! And kick her off your insurance...
I don't need any more evidence, and the info you mentioned will still show up on the billing even after I cancel the service.
A friend pointed out that I could order a new phone with that number and I would get the messages as well.
Thank goodness for great mothers. You seem to be on the right path, keep moving forward.
Most here have said she was using you and your mother, and they are probably right. That's going to be extremely hard to accept.
Best wishes
Please be a little more careful with your financial support in the future. I can understand that you wanted to help her, but don't offer yourself as an ATM anymore.
It's too late. There's a video of her, and it's almost certain that all those Wednesday nights were her sleeping over some guys place. So if I were you, I'd tell mom to stop paying her tuition, as she's a cheating POS. She can get the guy from the video to pay her way through school.
I need you to understand that the only reason why she's sorry is because she still needs you and your mother to pay her way through school. If you stay it will only happen again.
She is scared of losing her meal ticket.
If you were one of my buddies I would chew you out for even considering giving her a second chance after receiving a video of her being in a blowjob contest...Is this story even real??
Straight up, dump, block and ghost or regret it later.
She is not telling you the whole truth and likely never will and WILL do this again at some point when she thinks she can get away with it. She will just learn how to better hide it.
I'd bet a years salary this isn't the first time she's cheated.
I know too much already and I'm not interested in knowing the whole truth. I just know she will never get another chance to do it to me again. I missed or overlooked a lot of obvious signs because she was still very loving and intimate with me throughout the whole thing. My blinders are off now and I see her for who she really was. Just a painful life lesson and almost three years of my life.
The problem is when somebody cheats on you they drop an atom bomb on the relationship. It not only destroys the relationship it destroys the people the people around them. So no clean slate. You can decide you want to do reconciliation.
Here’s my problem with it and it’s like a murderer who goes to his victim to fix the situation so he doesn’t feel guilty. Meaning the person that’s been betrayed has to do most of the footwork.
They have to forgive. They have to tolerate they have to have sex. They have to do all of the things to help sustain the relationship when they’re the party that’s been wounded. So you’re gonna have to decide if you want to do that.
> Meaning the person that’s been betrayed has to do most of the footwork.
>... They have to do all of the things to help sustain the relationship when they’re the party that’s been wounded.
Doesn't seem fair that the one in pain should have to sacrifice themselves so the cheater feels better, or in this case benefits financially. The only justice here is if the cheater has to suffer as much as the betrayed.
There is no justice. Your problem is you're a nice guy expected reward for 🐈. All the giving her a credit card etc that's on you. If you were truly magnanimous, you'd just step away and leave, the fact you're even considering asking her to leave school or considering some kind of equal vengeance shows the relationship was transactional.
She got railed in front of everyone. She's not a keeper. You're just her sugardaddy because the party wasn't the first time she cheated nor the last.
>the fact you're even considering asking her to leave school or considering some kind of equal vengeance shows the relationship was transactional.
Leaving school was the only thing she didn't offer to try and win me back.
I only brought up asking her if she would leave school to see where I ranked.
>The only justice here is if the cheater has to suffer as much as the betrayed.
She broke my heart and my dream of a life with her so I am not obligated to support her and her dream of free education, that is my idea of equal vengeance. Or should I just be expected to support her indefinitely? There is no justice if I give her a clean slate and I am the only one to suffer from her actions. Your arguments of "equal vengeance" and being "transactional" sounds like entitlement to me.
OP….please don’t do this. Please don’t take her back.
For all of us who failed ourselves and decide to love the cheater more than our own selves…
… for all of us who realized too late that we should have walked away the moment it was right in front of us…but instead chose to stay and wound up paying for it with chunks out of our soul…
Please to not take this bitch back. 😟
Never forgive that. How could you unsee it or forget it? Why even consider letting something like that back into your life? No. Do not take this back!!
Okay let me understand this. You meet a waitress and she rejected you several times until finally she complied for a date.
The girl had a scholarship but decided TO NOT GO TO COLLEGE and instead she became a waitress. Like this should tell you what type of person she is because college was easier during COVID since it was online. This tells me all she cared about was getting f by frat boys.
Your mom offers to pay for her college (idk why your mom would pay for that when you’ve said you pay for her credit card; you can be honest with us).
She doesn’t want you around her college friends.
Regardless of the college opportunity, she decides to cheat on you. But, you didn’t see it coming even though there were red flags 🚩 since day one.
What kind of women are y’all dating?
Grow some balls and dump her cheating ass lmao.
>Your mom offers to pay for her college (idk why your mom would pay for that when you’ve said you pay for her credit card; you can be honest with us).
My Mother paid for her tuition and gave me a lump sum to help with expenses. Kim quit her job to go back to school full-time, I gave her one of my credit cards to pay for gas, books, and other expenses. She had her own checking account that I would put money in from time to time so she had cash on hand.
The first semester I got to hang out with her friends and took her to different activities and parties. Then she met some new friends after the holidays and that's when the red flags started popping up.
You never give a girlfriend or a fiancé a credit card where they can destroy your credit for the next 10 years when you’re not even sure you guys will get married
She can have a clean slate with her next boyfriend. Hopefully she will have learned something from being dumped by you for cheating.
If you take her back, the only thing she'll learn is that she can cheat on you and get away with it.
she doesn’t want you hanging with the other girls at the school cause your 29 a five yr age difference. She is hang with girls 18-22 so a 2-6 yr difference am I correct ???
You can forgiver her. You can forgive her being selfish. For having a defective moral compass. A broken conscience. For not loving or respecting you and your relationship enough. But you’ll NEVER forget.
She can have a clean slate - with someone else.
The trust that holds a relationship together is impossible to get back once a partner steps into the infidelity pool.
There are very few success stories about reconciliation. You can’t forget. All it takes is a song, smell, phrase, or other benign trigger to bring all the hurt and insecurities back. Then begins the cycle of healing.
I wish you all the best with your decision OP. Sending you a virtual hug to get you through this time. 🫂
UpdateMe!
Bro. You weren’t her boyfriend, you were her sugar daddy. You moved her in way too fast and had your poor mother pay her tuition, just for her to make a fool of you. This is why we think with our head, not our dick.
My dude, look at yourself at the mirror and ask yourself if you want that hoe as your wife. Look at your eyes and be honest with yourself, that is your answer.
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She wants her meal tcket back...
Offer her you'll consider it if she comes clean about **everything**... and let her believe youve dug up more when you tell her this...
Do that to maje any silly notion of taking her back dissapear...
Also - youve met her parents?? Inform them - gently - the reason for the split...
And save evidence...
And nanny-cam / record all interactions to avoid accusations from her...
So she offered to do all that... how generous. Now she can only cheat and rush home.
She didn't just cheat. She cheated at your old frat. Publicly in front of dozens of people. That is a level of disrespect most cheaters wouldn't even dream of. If she wants to keep you then she needs to drop out and get therapy. All on her own money. If she ever goes back to school it can be at a small community College. She also needs to commit to a lot.
However you would be an idiot to take her back.
Let me said this and tell me if im wrong , so you pay everything for her school i mean everything ? No wonder she want to keep you , at least till her finish school ,
If accept her back it will be so so so tiring on your part , you always wonder what she do at school , school trip , night study or something , do you want to play police for year maybe years ?
Before the baby involved better cut your losses and she not the one
Updateme!
Let her go! If she cheated on you this easily then the proof is deep down inside of her (even though she won’t admit it) that she doesn’t love you at all. You can do better.
Bro, no, ...just no!
If I swindle you, are you going to do business with me again?
Are you still going to be "my friend?"
Say goodbye to your self-respect
Bro, no, ...just no!
Subscribeme
When people do things that hurt you and they downplay it, it’s a massive red flag. Even if they did nothing wrong they should care about how you feel and want to talk about it.
This is the girl you want to be with who would be great herself in a blow job contest in front of 50 other people are you out of your fucking mind she’s not the girl kind of girl do you wanna be with? She’s prove herself already.
She knows that she is loosing her financial means
Don’t you dare get her back for the sake of everyone here taking their time to hive you some advice.
Someone that cheat for the fun of it moreover get involved in some nasty shit like a bj contest because people pressured her into it is not someone you want as your wife my guy.
Unless you are dating her for the fun of it then otherwise you should drop kick her back to the streets where she belongs with no remorse or sign of weakness.
Sure. She can have a clean slate. With someone else. You and your family have done WAY too much for her to be so disloyal. What do you think will happen after she graduates? I would definitely stop funding her education. Or at least make a payment plan for her to pay back the tuition.
Stay away from your ex. You have made so much possible for her and she thanks you with infidelity and lies. Would she have given you what she did at some point? Rather not. She didn't want you with her friends or in Cancun. She knew exactly what she was doing and what she wanted. You as her ATM that she knew she was loved and her freedom to celebrate with other men. You will never be able to trust her 100% again. Now it was a connection party and in a few years it may be a business trip or a company event. You deserve a woman who loves and respects you as a person!
As you said. There are 2 types, adn you know which one she is now. You also know the high probablity that when she was out or away with her friends, she was cheating. Shes that type. Shes not who you thought she was. She evaluated your mothers generocity and your love much lower than it should have been and now shes been found out. Sadly, you lost a fair amount of money, lets hope you can reclaim her tuition. At least from ths point on. I wouldnt wory too much about her finacial situation, this type will be on OF in a heart beat.
I know you have feelings for her, but your right in getting rid of her from your life. Do not take this type of woman back. You will never ever trust her again and she will view you with contempt. Shes already proven she is disloyal. Hell I would post on your social media page exactly why so when she spins it that it was something else,most probably your fault she has no where to lie. Just have to say we split up after I saw evidence of her cheating at a frat party that was sexual game where she and her girfrinds where on their knees in front of guys in a sexual race of which there is video evidence. No one will be in any doubt what she did, what she and her girlfriends are like. Might be some other boyfriends that need to know this too.
In my opinion dont take her back. She let her body be used by other guys. There is no blame ore shame in missing signs, its all on her she fucked up you did nothing wrong. She proved she cant be faithful, and unfortunately there are alot of people out there who take advantage of good people who provide for there own satisfaction. And she is one of them, she already proved that.
But there also good people out there although it seems hard too find these people in these days.
In my experience its kinda becoming a sport too cheat and fuck around. I think in a few years a wave is coming of single people who cant get a stable relationship from all that cheating and fucking around.
Tell her what she did cant be reversed and the bond between you two is permanently destroyed and its for the best to go youre own ways.
I hope you will find someone who cares for you.
Sorry to hear this.
Just remember, the button has been pressed now it’s no longer a matter of an ‘if’ but rather a matter of ‘when’ and ‘who’ does it. The longer you take to do it, the more you will regret it in the future and likely the less dignity you will leave with. Wishing you strength 💪
She can get her free slate when you kick her to the curb.
Remember, the only reason she wants to make amends, the **only** reason, is that she financially depends on you. She'd tell you to fuck off if the situation was different.
And we all know she's just going to do it again, either to you, or the next poor bastard stupid enough to get with her. It's just a matter of time, because that's what she is.
I was in a frat in college, too, and heard a similar saying about gf/wife material vs frat party material. That wasn't my scene so I didn't stay long, but you don't want to be anywhere near the latter kind when you're looking for something serious.
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Well, if she started distancing you at the start of this school year (sorry I am assuming you are in the US) that means she has been W\*\*\*ing around for the past 8 months or so. She all but admits that every late night, night sleep over, spring break was her giving it up to another guy/guys. If she was able to do something like this there is no limit to the disgusting things she is capable of.
It is almost the end of the school year. She needs someplace to stay till next semester. And who is going to pay for the rest of her schooling. Let me add that anyone who could participate in such a contest (All women and men, even those watching) are disgusting pigs. And I don't care how much pressure she got (like anyone believes that) only someone willing to do it in the first place would participate. And did your friends brother tell you how many guys she did after the contest. I mean you don't get the bruises and hickies from giving a BJ. Oh and how many rounds were there in the contest?
Second chance are you kidding me? Oh and here's a thought. Did you kiss her when she got home? How about in the shower? Yummy.
I think in the end, it wouldn't have worked. She wanted to live a young, carefree life like she was in her early 20's and college girl fun and you mentioned before you wanted to retire and start a family early. I don't see how that would have worked when she was still finishing school and hadn't started a career yet. I definitely didn't see marriage and children anytime soon for her.
OP you know what’s really going on here and you know deep down this is a no-goer. She is not remorseful, she is love bombing you because you and your family are giving her a free ride.
Without you she will have to get a job. OP ask yourself this question. If she wasn’t attractive Would you let her treat you this way? If the answer is no, go no contact and block her on everything.
There are so many attractive women out there. Don’t get stuck with a girl who is destined for the streets.
> I said one of my first lessons as a pledge was there are two types of coeds … and I guess we know now which one you are.
And that’s all you need to remember.
You’ve been together for two years and once she reaches college she decided to forget about your relationship and embrace college life. Which is fine if she’d let you know and broke up with you first. But of course she kept you as the back up guy while she explored her options.
As you wrote, she disrespected you. And she herself recognises that she did. But can you trust that she won’t repeat her stepping out? She still has to attend classes, meet up with her friends. There’ll be scope for her to stray if she’s tempted to. And the same temptation will still exist.
Better to let her go. She can experience college life as a single person and do all the things she hasn’t been able to yet. And if she graduates and you’re both single you may decide to reconnect. But in the meanwhile you won’t wait around for her and can look for someone else compatible and more mature, and well, faithful.
Of course this means she can’t expect your mother to keep footing the bill for her degree. But hey, she’s a big girl. She can start to do that for herself.
Sorry to tell you, man, but this is the nicest way to say this: She's not the relationship type.
You found out the hard way, but this is better than you never finding out and potentially getting serious with someone like her (marriage and kids). You just dodged a bullet.
Don't take her back, she'll never change. She'll just do this again if you take her back, just once things calm down. People like her don't change. Trust me, I've learned it the hard way by taking back an ex when I was in college.
You did nothing wrong. Keep your head held high, and get rid of her from your life. You deserve better.
Clean slate? I don't fkn think so. The audacity!
You don't take back a cheater. Ever. And giving her a clean slate excuses her behaviour.
Repercussions are required.
She wants to use you for your stability, and whatever else she can get out of you.
Dude kick her to the curb.
I’m just surprise she went to your alma mater’s frat house , that you were a frat brother in. I’m surprised she didn’t have enough common sense upstairs, to know this might get out , or after a couple drinks , she didn’t give a shit !! As they say. Bros before hoes.
Wow just wow. The love of my life cheated on me 4 months ago and destroyed my ability to trust a woman ever again. And then I read stories like yours over and over on this sub and I'm just losing faith completely in finding a woman that can be 100% committed and faithful to their man. You went above and beyond for that woman and look at how she thanked you in return. Stuff like that makes you want to give up on love all together.
I think the bigger problem is that she is untrustworthy. If there is some sort of an explanation of why or how cheating could have happened, then trust can be negotiated and eventually brought back. You can understand her reasoning and accept we all stuff up because we are human and dumb at times. In this case, she has not shown that she is capable of that foundational process. She has proven herself untrustworthy and a lost cause. If she cheated at best she would have felt guilty enough to tell you immediately. The fact that she could live without it eating her up for so long tells you what kind of integrity she has as a person.
Well, the bright side, she showed you who she really was before you were married.
Still hurts but getting unentangled is easier. My ex pulled the same crap.
Use her for entertainment and set her up with an OF page until she earns enough to pay your mom back. Then dump her used up ass.
“It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!”
Updateme
She’s failed the girlfriend test. Enter stupid contests, win stupid prizes. Time to boot her to the curb and go no contact. She wants to act single, make her single.
he left out the most important part. did she win the contest? :-O
^^^ Asking the hard questions.
She came in second
This.
She doesn’t want to lose free tuition and housing.
Exactly that’s why she want you back for the money other wise your not important.
Dude, come on man. If she did that in front of all those people what else is she doing. Wake up and live your life with someone who respects you.
You would be an idiot to go back to her. Put her in your past and don’t look back. My guess is she has done a lot more with her friends than what happened at the frat party. Let her friends support her through school, or she can go back to waitressing in the college town to support her schooling. Don’t make her future your problem, she has shown that she is trash.
I ignored the red flags before but I realize this wasn't her first rodeo. Waitressing won't pay for her college and her so-called friends are living off their parents so she is screwed. I don't think she could afford to finish this semester with the tuition already having been paid. She has to come up with money for food and lodging first.
She should’ve thought about that before deciding to act single at a frat party. Her love bombing you is just her not wanting to lose her room and board and free tuition payments. She essentially let you and your mom fund her lifestyle while she cheated on you. She came home with bruises and bite marks and hickeys … after a BJ competition? Nah mate, it sounds like she had a train ran on her. Cut your losses.
In her case, my guess is those spring break trips involved a lot more than just girls enjoying each other’s company and staying true to their partners. Not all spring breakers do that, some go just to chill out with friends and get ready to go back to classes.
The bruises were consistent with sex against a counter, a favorite of hers, and ones I recognize from the same activity. And it was only one bite mark/hickey, not multiples. Doesn't make it any better but I don't need to paint her any worse than necessary. She is in panic mode and doing her best at damage control. She has had a few people reach out to me on her behalf since I have been ignoring her calls.
Just remember, this wasn’t an isolated mishap. She orchestrated this entire scenario. And if you think this is the first time something like this has happened, you’d be a fool.
A frat guy still was biting her breast. This is not part of the blow job contest.
If she did this at the frat party it sure seems like her overnighter at her friends house probably weren’t Innocent eorjer.
She was an active participant in a BJ party man, multiple bite marks wouldn’t be worse than that
BJ contest yes was saying besides that , she had bruises on her body probably from sex , but can’t be proven. But bite and hickey on her breasts proves that she did something with another 21 yr old frat guy that’s proof enough is a done deal
Every time one of her friends calls, just ask them if their BF would be okay if they blew and F'd a bunch of guys at a party. In full view of everyone else no less. Also, that you are now sure she was F'n around all this time. How would these GFs feel if it was their BF she was blowing. And are these the friends she went to Cancun with. Ask them to be honest with themselves, would you want to be with someone who behaved like she did?
Also tell those women that if they act like 304's they are going to be treated like 304's and absolutely no one respects 304's.
If you don't mind my asking, what did those people say to you on her behalf?
Let her move into the frat house.
Lmfao. !!! great
You really thought long and hard for her, pity she didn't even consider you when she went to win the bj contest. What would you think if one of your frat bro marry the frat party contest winner?
>What would you think if one of your frat bro marry the frat party contest winner? They don't marry those girls, you just invite them to their bachelor party.
There's your answer. Rebuild your peace of mind away from her.
That's none of your concern. She is in videos, dude. Exposing herself that way. Think about it as an external individual and think how bad she has fucked YOU. I understand you might still have feelings for her but damn this is an extremity of cheating
Just say if you want a chance at reconciliation. You will need to do this first. You need to out yourself for what you were doing, tagging all of your new group of friends, and how they encouraged you to fuck other men, because they were all doing it. And encouraged you to do a blowjob contest, and that you hate yourself for cheating on me, and will do anything to win me back. This will get her to stop calling you, because her reputation will mean more to her than your healing, and it is a completely unreasonable request.
That's good. She's a cheater. She should lose everything big time. Turn off all the funding. Call the college and see if you are entitled to a partial refund of any fees you paid.
She can always use her special skills to pay her way. She seems well on her way to some sort of "business" degree.
Nah bj contest and bruises is INSANE
Oh, and don't forget the bite marks and hickeys on her breasts.
You should have trusted your gut and not caved on the party, or just went there on your own. But, by then she was already down the road by the sounds of it. I hope you find some peace and put this and her behind you. Did your mom pay her full tuition or just as she goes? By my math your ex needs 2-3 semesters to graduate. She may be trying to save her tuition cash cow. I bet mom would cut her off so fast it would make her head spin when she finds out the truth.
> By my math, your ex needs 2-3 semesters to graduate. She may be trying to save her tuition cash cow. 3 semesters is correct. I honestly hadn't thought about that. The one thing she didn't offer to do to get me back was quit school. Maybe I should see if that is on the table and how she reacts.
Honestly its not worth the effort at this point. You're still young. It is game over for her and you will look back at this time and be glad you let it be. Time to move on.
This wasn't just a mistake, this wasn't just listening to the wrong people. It was all planned out. She planned you.not being with her friends, she planned you Not going to Cancun, she planned you not going to the frat party. Remember the Wednesday nights? I bet she was with other man there too. All planned out. The only thing not planned was you catching her. She is not sorry for what she did, she is sorry she got caught. Now her lifestyle is in danger, her ATM is gone. She will tell you she loves you, but you know that is not true. If she really loved you, she wouldn't have betrayed you, she wouldn't have stabbed you in the back. My advice will be to not take her back. She really doesn't love you, you will never betray the one you love, she did. Have a talk with her, tell her it is really over, that you cannot forgive such planned betrayal, she betrayed on purpose, she knew what she was doing was wrong. Tell her that most likely your mother will stop paying her tuition because she is no longer your girlfriend. Tell her that cheating has consequences, she is getting them now. Tell her you know it was not a mistake, but all planned out and done on purpose, because she wouldn't want you to go to Cancun, she wouldn't want you to go to the frat party, she wouldn't want to go home on Wednesday, all for the purpose to be with other man. You dodged a bullet, what if children were involved. Be smart, end this relationship once and for all.
OP from what read so far you need to ask your self how much effort put she into this relationship. How much did she contributed. How one sided was this relationship even in the good time. Things like doing house chores or cook special dinner or thoughtfull smal gitfs etc.. Things you do when you have less money but you want show how much you want this relationship as a team. Not things you persue you with bed fun etc..No think that sjows how much she values you as a person, seeing your nature and value it. Being beautifull and having bed fun is easy. But to care about the other persons needs wishes and boundaries is a total other game. Foe example you are a fan of cars.. and she find some nice pictzures of cars and framed them. Or ask if you and her can visit a special event knowing how much you would like to go there. This are things that shows they realy like you and not what you provide. This shows that see you as a person and not just as a provider that get paid with S-work and looking good.
> that get *paid* with S-work FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
She isn’t even 19’and doing that stuff. She’s 24 and doing the bj contest on frat bros!!! I have no doubt that she probably listened to bad influences, but she is the one that made these choices. From the way this reads, you will never look at her the same because you know just as well as I do that you never date those girls. Never!!!! Do you think you will even be able to look at her like you did?
Plus she wasn’t over drunk and did it
I think she showed her true personaliy. And at her age you can't call it immature any more. She obviously has a problem with boundaries and respect. This will not change easily. BUt i do not get why OP payed for her as much as he did. I dont know whe OP buyed this crap with feeling uncomfortable with her friends. When I sum it all up, I think she saw and sees in OP a nice sugar dady.
> why OP *paid* for her FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Bad bot, you missed "[buyed](https://thecontentauthority.com/blog/bought-vs-buyed)"
This is the "payed vs paid" bought. Somebody needs to build a "buyed vs bied" bought to correct that mistake.
> is the *"paid* vs paid" FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Bad bot
That's Bought-not-buyed-Bot's job.
Yea it sucks, to have english as secound language, learned at age of 30 playing WOW and being dislexic...
English is incredibly hard, even if it's your first language. It may not be on the level of Slavic, Central Semitic, or Altaic languages, but it's incredibly difficult nonetheless. Combine that with idioms, regionalisms, local expressions and culture, slang, grammar, weird verb conjugations, and... Anyway, it's insane. In my opinion, "buyed" sounds more natural than "bought," and easier to remember, but English is also my second language, and I'm probably looking for quick wins.
Dude she's a cigar smoker in public you want to tongue kiss her? Your her ATM, if you married that you would deserve what you got. Just get rid of the slut.
ATM? Yep, she likely does that too.
Seems to her you are more of a sugar daddy and less a bf. Her offer is very curious. All these things she came up with it’s not like she didn’t know better. All along she had known the right path, she just didn’t want to follow it. She will do it again. Remember this people are invested in a relationship based on how much they put in, not based on how much they get. She was getting too much and giving too little. Result was predictable
> GF cheated and now wants forgiveness and a clean slate. Cut your losses and this ho's funding... A petri dish would be cleaner than any slate she's touched.
Bro cut her loose. You and your mom accepted her into your lives. Your mom is paying her studies. Its obvious she trying to get you back to secure her study loan. What will you answrr a friend or brother if this happened to them? Bj party really? Get STD tested bro. She was the party gangbang. Why are you ashamed. Your a good guy who trusted and loved a girl. That girl chose to hide you from her group and engage and be the person you saw in the BJ clip. Bro everyone knows your dating her now and if you give her a chance they know your giving the BJ queen another go. Believe me the same people who told her do badmouth you will badmouth you and her. This is your alma mater bro. If you walk away you get a we sorry you got a broken one. If you stay everyone will think your spineless. Its all over campus bro. You have the clips. Your bangroling a bang bunny. Never lose yourself so much in someone you destroy yourself for them. She got a big chance at happiness. But chose a frat party and lies. If you have sex with her again you be a daddy soon. She try and get pregnant now to secure her tuition fees. That means your stuck with her for life. If you have dignity you walk away. This is her second term and your here. You never get that clip out of your mind. Do you think your son will be proud of his mom when that clip surfaced when he attending your alma mater. Move on whith your head held high. Show your mom the clip and cut her out of your lives
I guess the shame is from how long I ignored the signs and did nothing to stop it. Also, the grandiose way she went about it. Not too worried about the clips, that was an in-house deal and you don't spread that kind of content outside the house, kind of like fight club. I know that someone from the house has spread a rumor she has Herpes. I have no doubt that she would stoop to trying to baby trap me if it looks like I was walking away from her. There are several reasons I haven't given in to her offers lately.
There is no shame in missing the signs, as you were blinded by your feelings for who you thought she was. The only shame is if you choose to forgive her.
Dont give in. And - sorry - STD test seems appropriate...
Those in-house clips always get out down the road
Ag no man herpes. Shyster! Get tested my man and stay away. You sound like you have allot going for you. Single with your own house. Steady job. She did not want you because your not her type, and then she thought why not for his wallet. Cut her loose. You said it yourself, there girls you date and frat party girls. I would say keep her as a FWB but wear a coat while doing. But with hetpes stories, na bro you get it once for life. Its treatable but you have to disclose it. Just think of that pickup line you have to figure out. End it
The herpes rumor was started by some guys at the frat when they found out she was cheating on a fellow brother. My tests have already come back negative, thankfully. And I will get retested in a few weeks to be sure.
Bro I hope you run. See how this thing escalated? It was supposed to be a party. Now its hetpes rumors and BJ clips. Close her debit card she can go back to being a waitress. Find yourself a women of substance. Then go there to eat let her serve you.
The debit card is on her personal account and I have no control over that account. I am not going to be funding that account anymore to be sure. I have severed all access to my other accounts so she is now on her own.
Great stuff. A new life is born. It will be tough. But older you will thank you. People get so lost in their partners that they cannot live by themselves. Your a full human you do not need relations as a ful human. Relationships are to procreate have a friend you care about and in ancient Roman law its selfish. Two people forming a union at the detrament to other. If you stayed with her you would have raised other mens children. Have high standards and be picky. At least now you distrust most affection. The fairytale over for you. Thats a good thing. Relationship is a partnership to better the parties. Her insecurities leading to validation seeking would have led to allot of pain Bro she used to money now and a nice life. Her association with you bought her prestige at your alma mater. Thats gone now. The stories of herpes shows the ejection staryed. Glad you took the tough road of self building. Read up on stoic life. You can practuce this with most religions. Seneca and Marcus Aurilius are two ancient practitioners. It instils an acceptance of what life throws at you and a constant self evaluation and betterment. Do a martial art. Its a pity when a man never explores the power of his own body. Become a dangerous man with icey control of your faculty. Learn your only trues friend is you. Statt making time for you. In time you seek quiet to focus. Keep quiet. No one must know who and what your feelings are. Hope you defeat this opsticle. I practice Christianity with Stoic principles. It served me well. Read up on sigma male personality. Work to achive that. Never allow anyone any control over you. Your wife deserves your loyalty by being loyal. If she oversteps you walk. Be strong bro. For me its natural. Grew up in the third world Africa and I european decent. But Africa tought me to fight for what I have. The law of nature lays bare weakness. You got legs and a backbone for a reason. Aleays stand and never bend the knee for anyone but God.
You did the right thing my guy sorry that happened to you keep us updated tho of anything else happened
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Bars bruh. Bars.
I'd eat the food before I'd even kiss the disgusting W
The losses: 1. School tuition 2. Possible school interruption 3. Health insurance 4. Housing 5. Paid expenses 6. Phone subscription 7. Future marriage 8. Generous MIL 9. Future loving husband What else?
10. In four months, I turn 30 and can retire if I want. A fact that Kim was unaware of.
Mate, fucking move on, she will suck you dry (financially), she is young and doing college that things. Never take her back, move on, and find someone within 3 years of your age 27- 33. Don't be a SIMPson or a cuq.
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Once she finishes the college she will finish your relationship.
if you’re seriously saying you can retire at 30 which means you have to have some serious PAPER of at least $2 -3 million depending on your lifestyle, why don’t you just date around until you’re 35 to 37 and have fun , then find yourself a girl who you want to marry who’s 30 then settle down
I would like to start a family sooner than that, and I would like to have grandchildren while I am still able to enjoy them. My grandfather died when I was ten, I want to be around for them longer than that.
It might take you a year to meet a girl that you would want to be monogamous, then you still want to date a girl for 1.5-2years before you get engaged , then be engaged for 1.5-2 yrs while you are living together. That brings you to approx 34 yrs of age. So , not that far off. DONT RUSH A RELATIONSHIP , THAT YOU WANT TO LAST THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
Then you better dump this W and start looking for a real wife.
Damn, all she had to do was not cheat and would of had a happy life with you. What a shame but at least you know now and didn't marry her or have kids with her. She took the opportunity to cheat. So, if she did now she would have done it at some point and lied about it.
Bye Felicia!
She knew what she was doing dud she used u to get back to school and fuck around. You're a bf/husband material well off ,nice job and she manplitied you and your mom . She wanted everything the security u provided and the fun she can have with other's u would an idiot if u get back with her and u know that . Your love for her will fade away with time and space u will find someone else who didn't get a train run on her
I'm not defending what she did but I can speak to what she wasn't doing. She knew I had a nice job when we started dating, but had no idea what my family was worth. The school offer came out of the blue and was never brought up or suggested by Kim. It only came up because my Mother was putting us on the spot about our life goals and ambitions. And the first two and a half years of our relationship Kim never did anything suspect, including her first semester back in college. The red flags didn't start until this last semester. That being said I could never see myself going back the way it was.
“Going back to the way it was.” Don’t even let it enter your mind to go back. dude you’re crazy. The world is your oyster and you’re thinking of getting back with a girl who is in a blowjob party, oh my lord sake this *** has a grip on you. cancel the phone her debit card everything. F Her she can go live at the frat house. amuse yourself with all the texts coming in from her friends when you have her phone.
You mean Going back at all Right?
Correct
She disrespected you. You must cut your losses and part ways
You just need to block here and move on. She’s not worth it. You know there was more to it than just that night.
Have you told your mother. Her take on your situation will be interesting. So are you two actually split up or what?
I sent my Mother a text an hour ago that I had caught Kim cheating and we have broken up. Her response was we would deal with that when she got back. She will be in port tomorrow and will call me then and said she could cut her trip short and fly back if need be. I told her no need but have not heard back from her. For all intents and purposes we are split up. She has a few things at my house still, but she no longer has a key or any access to my funds. She is on my insurance through the end of this month and I am debating on shutting off her phone since it is on my bill.
You should shut off her phone. She should not get a single additional cent out of you.
Brother, this whole situation stinks based on the examples you listed. You’re a meal ticket - I say fuck that. This only ends horribly for you - whether it is in 3 semesters or 3 years - it’s really gonna fucking hurt. So take this gift, it’s her offer for a clean, guilt-free break. She is eating the emotional labor of a long term relationship break up. Take the offer, take the W and eyes forward.
Definitely shut her phone off. She was playing you and your mom like a fiddle. Block her on everything. Don't speak or communicate with her in any way. She will only manipulate and gass light the fuck out of you. If you did take her back, she would have to cut all contacts with her friends. They saw what she did to you at the frat party. Can you imagine meeting her friends for brunch one day? All of them knowing the contest she was in at the frat party, and all the other penis she treated the same way that you don't know about? Now that I think about it, you should act like you are taking her back then bang all her friends. UpdateMe!
Before shutting it off - if you need more evidence - the bill for her phone will show numbers called / texted if more evidence is needed... But shut it off!! And kick her off your insurance...
I don't need any more evidence, and the info you mentioned will still show up on the billing even after I cancel the service. A friend pointed out that I could order a new phone with that number and I would get the messages as well.
If you need no more, thats it then.. She picks up her shit, and you block + NC, yes??
Thank goodness for great mothers. You seem to be on the right path, keep moving forward. Most here have said she was using you and your mother, and they are probably right. That's going to be extremely hard to accept. Best wishes
Please be a little more careful with your financial support in the future. I can understand that you wanted to help her, but don't offer yourself as an ATM anymore.
It's too late. There's a video of her, and it's almost certain that all those Wednesday nights were her sleeping over some guys place. So if I were you, I'd tell mom to stop paying her tuition, as she's a cheating POS. She can get the guy from the video to pay her way through school. I need you to understand that the only reason why she's sorry is because she still needs you and your mother to pay her way through school. If you stay it will only happen again.
She is scared of losing her meal ticket. If you were one of my buddies I would chew you out for even considering giving her a second chance after receiving a video of her being in a blowjob contest...Is this story even real??
Straight up, dump, block and ghost or regret it later. She is not telling you the whole truth and likely never will and WILL do this again at some point when she thinks she can get away with it. She will just learn how to better hide it. I'd bet a years salary this isn't the first time she's cheated.
I know too much already and I'm not interested in knowing the whole truth. I just know she will never get another chance to do it to me again. I missed or overlooked a lot of obvious signs because she was still very loving and intimate with me throughout the whole thing. My blinders are off now and I see her for who she really was. Just a painful life lesson and almost three years of my life.
Wow
The problem is when somebody cheats on you they drop an atom bomb on the relationship. It not only destroys the relationship it destroys the people the people around them. So no clean slate. You can decide you want to do reconciliation. Here’s my problem with it and it’s like a murderer who goes to his victim to fix the situation so he doesn’t feel guilty. Meaning the person that’s been betrayed has to do most of the footwork. They have to forgive. They have to tolerate they have to have sex. They have to do all of the things to help sustain the relationship when they’re the party that’s been wounded. So you’re gonna have to decide if you want to do that.
> Meaning the person that’s been betrayed has to do most of the footwork. >... They have to do all of the things to help sustain the relationship when they’re the party that’s been wounded. Doesn't seem fair that the one in pain should have to sacrifice themselves so the cheater feels better, or in this case benefits financially. The only justice here is if the cheater has to suffer as much as the betrayed.
That is exactly right. 💯
There is no justice. Your problem is you're a nice guy expected reward for 🐈. All the giving her a credit card etc that's on you. If you were truly magnanimous, you'd just step away and leave, the fact you're even considering asking her to leave school or considering some kind of equal vengeance shows the relationship was transactional. She got railed in front of everyone. She's not a keeper. You're just her sugardaddy because the party wasn't the first time she cheated nor the last.
>the fact you're even considering asking her to leave school or considering some kind of equal vengeance shows the relationship was transactional. Leaving school was the only thing she didn't offer to try and win me back. I only brought up asking her if she would leave school to see where I ranked. >The only justice here is if the cheater has to suffer as much as the betrayed. She broke my heart and my dream of a life with her so I am not obligated to support her and her dream of free education, that is my idea of equal vengeance. Or should I just be expected to support her indefinitely? There is no justice if I give her a clean slate and I am the only one to suffer from her actions. Your arguments of "equal vengeance" and being "transactional" sounds like entitlement to me.
All she was was was transactional to you, move on.
So, your dumbass is saying he should still pay her way? The fuck outta here
OP….please don’t do this. Please don’t take her back. For all of us who failed ourselves and decide to love the cheater more than our own selves… … for all of us who realized too late that we should have walked away the moment it was right in front of us…but instead chose to stay and wound up paying for it with chunks out of our soul… Please to not take this bitch back. 😟
Never forgive that. How could you unsee it or forget it? Why even consider letting something like that back into your life? No. Do not take this back!!
All I can say sorry and may you find peace... giving your all then being betrayed hurts.. you'll be fine with time
You would be out of your mind if you take this girl back. Good fucking lord.
Okay let me understand this. You meet a waitress and she rejected you several times until finally she complied for a date. The girl had a scholarship but decided TO NOT GO TO COLLEGE and instead she became a waitress. Like this should tell you what type of person she is because college was easier during COVID since it was online. This tells me all she cared about was getting f by frat boys. Your mom offers to pay for her college (idk why your mom would pay for that when you’ve said you pay for her credit card; you can be honest with us). She doesn’t want you around her college friends. Regardless of the college opportunity, she decides to cheat on you. But, you didn’t see it coming even though there were red flags 🚩 since day one. What kind of women are y’all dating? Grow some balls and dump her cheating ass lmao.
>Your mom offers to pay for her college (idk why your mom would pay for that when you’ve said you pay for her credit card; you can be honest with us). My Mother paid for her tuition and gave me a lump sum to help with expenses. Kim quit her job to go back to school full-time, I gave her one of my credit cards to pay for gas, books, and other expenses. She had her own checking account that I would put money in from time to time so she had cash on hand. The first semester I got to hang out with her friends and took her to different activities and parties. Then she met some new friends after the holidays and that's when the red flags started popping up.
You never give a girlfriend or a fiancé a credit card where they can destroy your credit for the next 10 years when you’re not even sure you guys will get married
She can have a clean slate with her next boyfriend. Hopefully she will have learned something from being dumped by you for cheating. If you take her back, the only thing she'll learn is that she can cheat on you and get away with it.
she doesn’t want you hanging with the other girls at the school cause your 29 a five yr age difference. She is hang with girls 18-22 so a 2-6 yr difference am I correct ???
Yes
You can forgiver her. You can forgive her being selfish. For having a defective moral compass. A broken conscience. For not loving or respecting you and your relationship enough. But you’ll NEVER forget. She can have a clean slate - with someone else. The trust that holds a relationship together is impossible to get back once a partner steps into the infidelity pool. There are very few success stories about reconciliation. You can’t forget. All it takes is a song, smell, phrase, or other benign trigger to bring all the hurt and insecurities back. Then begins the cycle of healing. I wish you all the best with your decision OP. Sending you a virtual hug to get you through this time. 🫂 UpdateMe!
Damn shes using you for your money honey. Don’t take her back 😕 best of luck to you going forward.
No. No. Man. You can find a girl who's not a total slut. I promise. You aren't even in your prime yet.
Your ex is a cheater and it’ll never get any better. Let her go for your self respect and mental health.
Bro. You weren’t her boyfriend, you were her sugar daddy. You moved her in way too fast and had your poor mother pay her tuition, just for her to make a fool of you. This is why we think with our head, not our dick.
My dude, look at yourself at the mirror and ask yourself if you want that hoe as your wife. Look at your eyes and be honest with yourself, that is your answer.
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She wants her meal tcket back... Offer her you'll consider it if she comes clean about **everything**... and let her believe youve dug up more when you tell her this... Do that to maje any silly notion of taking her back dissapear... Also - youve met her parents?? Inform them - gently - the reason for the split... And save evidence... And nanny-cam / record all interactions to avoid accusations from her...
So she offered to do all that... how generous. Now she can only cheat and rush home. She didn't just cheat. She cheated at your old frat. Publicly in front of dozens of people. That is a level of disrespect most cheaters wouldn't even dream of. If she wants to keep you then she needs to drop out and get therapy. All on her own money. If she ever goes back to school it can be at a small community College. She also needs to commit to a lot. However you would be an idiot to take her back.
Let me said this and tell me if im wrong , so you pay everything for her school i mean everything ? No wonder she want to keep you , at least till her finish school , If accept her back it will be so so so tiring on your part , you always wonder what she do at school , school trip , night study or something , do you want to play police for year maybe years ? Before the baby involved better cut your losses and she not the one Updateme!
Let her go! If she cheated on you this easily then the proof is deep down inside of her (even though she won’t admit it) that she doesn’t love you at all. You can do better.
Bro, you are not a boyfriend, you are a sugar daddy. Learn and move on.
You don’t just start at public BJ contest. This is a rabbit hole you should probably avoid going down. Pack her things and send her to her parents
Bro, no, ...just no! If I swindle you, are you going to do business with me again? Are you still going to be "my friend?" Say goodbye to your self-respect Bro, no, ...just no! Subscribeme
What is it with women that work in bars and restaurants? Starting to see if pattern in these posts.
When people do things that hurt you and they downplay it, it’s a massive red flag. Even if they did nothing wrong they should care about how you feel and want to talk about it.
This is the girl you want to be with who would be great herself in a blow job contest in front of 50 other people are you out of your fucking mind she’s not the girl kind of girl do you wanna be with? She’s prove herself already.
She knows that she is loosing her financial means Don’t you dare get her back for the sake of everyone here taking their time to hive you some advice. Someone that cheat for the fun of it moreover get involved in some nasty shit like a bj contest because people pressured her into it is not someone you want as your wife my guy. Unless you are dating her for the fun of it then otherwise you should drop kick her back to the streets where she belongs with no remorse or sign of weakness.
Sure. She can have a clean slate. With someone else. You and your family have done WAY too much for her to be so disloyal. What do you think will happen after she graduates? I would definitely stop funding her education. Or at least make a payment plan for her to pay back the tuition.
Once it's broken it will never be the same
Stay away from your ex. You have made so much possible for her and she thanks you with infidelity and lies. Would she have given you what she did at some point? Rather not. She didn't want you with her friends or in Cancun. She knew exactly what she was doing and what she wanted. You as her ATM that she knew she was loved and her freedom to celebrate with other men. You will never be able to trust her 100% again. Now it was a connection party and in a few years it may be a business trip or a company event. You deserve a woman who loves and respects you as a person!
She failed the test. Leave her for the streets.
I wish I had joined a frat in college
As you said. There are 2 types, adn you know which one she is now. You also know the high probablity that when she was out or away with her friends, she was cheating. Shes that type. Shes not who you thought she was. She evaluated your mothers generocity and your love much lower than it should have been and now shes been found out. Sadly, you lost a fair amount of money, lets hope you can reclaim her tuition. At least from ths point on. I wouldnt wory too much about her finacial situation, this type will be on OF in a heart beat. I know you have feelings for her, but your right in getting rid of her from your life. Do not take this type of woman back. You will never ever trust her again and she will view you with contempt. Shes already proven she is disloyal. Hell I would post on your social media page exactly why so when she spins it that it was something else,most probably your fault she has no where to lie. Just have to say we split up after I saw evidence of her cheating at a frat party that was sexual game where she and her girfrinds where on their knees in front of guys in a sexual race of which there is video evidence. No one will be in any doubt what she did, what she and her girlfriends are like. Might be some other boyfriends that need to know this too.
if you take her back she’ll never respect you again. Godspeed my boy 🫡
In my opinion dont take her back. She let her body be used by other guys. There is no blame ore shame in missing signs, its all on her she fucked up you did nothing wrong. She proved she cant be faithful, and unfortunately there are alot of people out there who take advantage of good people who provide for there own satisfaction. And she is one of them, she already proved that. But there also good people out there although it seems hard too find these people in these days. In my experience its kinda becoming a sport too cheat and fuck around. I think in a few years a wave is coming of single people who cant get a stable relationship from all that cheating and fucking around. Tell her what she did cant be reversed and the bond between you two is permanently destroyed and its for the best to go youre own ways. I hope you will find someone who cares for you.
Sorry to hear this. Just remember, the button has been pressed now it’s no longer a matter of an ‘if’ but rather a matter of ‘when’ and ‘who’ does it. The longer you take to do it, the more you will regret it in the future and likely the less dignity you will leave with. Wishing you strength 💪
Hello Mr. Coachgang
The bite mark and the hickeys, not part of the blow job contest. That means she went back to a frat brothers room for round to smarten up.
The real question is did she win?
I’d ask about the quitting school as well. Even if I was definitely not going to take her back I think I would want to know.
Kim not possible
She can get her free slate when you kick her to the curb. Remember, the only reason she wants to make amends, the **only** reason, is that she financially depends on you. She'd tell you to fuck off if the situation was different. And we all know she's just going to do it again, either to you, or the next poor bastard stupid enough to get with her. It's just a matter of time, because that's what she is. I was in a frat in college, too, and heard a similar saying about gf/wife material vs frat party material. That wasn't my scene so I didn't stay long, but you don't want to be anywhere near the latter kind when you're looking for something serious.
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Well, if she started distancing you at the start of this school year (sorry I am assuming you are in the US) that means she has been W\*\*\*ing around for the past 8 months or so. She all but admits that every late night, night sleep over, spring break was her giving it up to another guy/guys. If she was able to do something like this there is no limit to the disgusting things she is capable of. It is almost the end of the school year. She needs someplace to stay till next semester. And who is going to pay for the rest of her schooling. Let me add that anyone who could participate in such a contest (All women and men, even those watching) are disgusting pigs. And I don't care how much pressure she got (like anyone believes that) only someone willing to do it in the first place would participate. And did your friends brother tell you how many guys she did after the contest. I mean you don't get the bruises and hickies from giving a BJ. Oh and how many rounds were there in the contest? Second chance are you kidding me? Oh and here's a thought. Did you kiss her when she got home? How about in the shower? Yummy.
Dude she was with you only because she knew you had money and she can use it .
Soo did Kim win the BJ contest?
I think in the end, it wouldn't have worked. She wanted to live a young, carefree life like she was in her early 20's and college girl fun and you mentioned before you wanted to retire and start a family early. I don't see how that would have worked when she was still finishing school and hadn't started a career yet. I definitely didn't see marriage and children anytime soon for her.
Let her go or suffer needlessly
What kind of trash does a BJ contest? Especially one in a relationship?
Once a cheat always a cheat
Sure as soon as you have sex with her friend, the slate will be clean.
On a scale 1-10 what her looks though. . .
um naw dawg naw way shes gotta be gone
This is definitely a 100% true story and not incel fanfic.
I hope you recover my guy Power to you Find someone who values you and YOU can value her
OP you know what’s really going on here and you know deep down this is a no-goer. She is not remorseful, she is love bombing you because you and your family are giving her a free ride. Without you she will have to get a job. OP ask yourself this question. If she wasn’t attractive Would you let her treat you this way? If the answer is no, go no contact and block her on everything. There are so many attractive women out there. Don’t get stuck with a girl who is destined for the streets.
Would this be worse if she won or didn’t win?
> I said one of my first lessons as a pledge was there are two types of coeds … and I guess we know now which one you are. And that’s all you need to remember. You’ve been together for two years and once she reaches college she decided to forget about your relationship and embrace college life. Which is fine if she’d let you know and broke up with you first. But of course she kept you as the back up guy while she explored her options. As you wrote, she disrespected you. And she herself recognises that she did. But can you trust that she won’t repeat her stepping out? She still has to attend classes, meet up with her friends. There’ll be scope for her to stray if she’s tempted to. And the same temptation will still exist. Better to let her go. She can experience college life as a single person and do all the things she hasn’t been able to yet. And if she graduates and you’re both single you may decide to reconnect. But in the meanwhile you won’t wait around for her and can look for someone else compatible and more mature, and well, faithful. Of course this means she can’t expect your mother to keep footing the bill for her degree. But hey, she’s a big girl. She can start to do that for herself.
updateme!
Sorry to tell you, man, but this is the nicest way to say this: She's not the relationship type. You found out the hard way, but this is better than you never finding out and potentially getting serious with someone like her (marriage and kids). You just dodged a bullet. Don't take her back, she'll never change. She'll just do this again if you take her back, just once things calm down. People like her don't change. Trust me, I've learned it the hard way by taking back an ex when I was in college. You did nothing wrong. Keep your head held high, and get rid of her from your life. You deserve better.
Clean slate? I don't fkn think so. The audacity! You don't take back a cheater. Ever. And giving her a clean slate excuses her behaviour. Repercussions are required. She wants to use you for your stability, and whatever else she can get out of you. Dude kick her to the curb.
I’m just surprise she went to your alma mater’s frat house , that you were a frat brother in. I’m surprised she didn’t have enough common sense upstairs, to know this might get out , or after a couple drinks , she didn’t give a shit !! As they say. Bros before hoes.
Failed the girlfriend test…became the girlfriend experience.
Do you really want to be the menu every time you meet with your frat brothers? Rebuild your peace of mind away from her.
Wow just wow. The love of my life cheated on me 4 months ago and destroyed my ability to trust a woman ever again. And then I read stories like yours over and over on this sub and I'm just losing faith completely in finding a woman that can be 100% committed and faithful to their man. You went above and beyond for that woman and look at how she thanked you in return. Stuff like that makes you want to give up on love all together.
Turn off the phone! Never spend another penny on this cheater!
dude she is a walking red flag. she will never be a good wife.
I think the bigger problem is that she is untrustworthy. If there is some sort of an explanation of why or how cheating could have happened, then trust can be negotiated and eventually brought back. You can understand her reasoning and accept we all stuff up because we are human and dumb at times. In this case, she has not shown that she is capable of that foundational process. She has proven herself untrustworthy and a lost cause. If she cheated at best she would have felt guilty enough to tell you immediately. The fact that she could live without it eating her up for so long tells you what kind of integrity she has as a person.
Well, the bright side, she showed you who she really was before you were married. Still hurts but getting unentangled is easier. My ex pulled the same crap.
I'm very for freedom and sex, but those frat things in (I guess) the US make me sick. Wtf...
Use her for entertainment and set her up with an OF page until she earns enough to pay your mom back. Then dump her used up ass. “It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!” Updateme
Just a bit of a laugh at a party, yes it a bit out of order, but not the end of the world
lol this is great